Fear&Chapo Trap House dissect a failed $200,000 stunt and Alex Jones' rise as a con man exploiting media vacuums rather than CIA plots. They analyze how Republicans weaponize QAnon to undermine federal power while TikTok trends like Bella Porch and crystal gambling reveal a primal hunger for narrative amidst de-socialization. Ultimately, the episode argues that both sides are trapped in a media-saturated environment preventing collective material action, turning genuine dread into marketing tools that validate reactionary messaging over legislative solutions. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
One Slur For Two Hundred Thousand00:08:26
One slur that we would have to stay on.
That's rolling, by the way.
That's on tape.
No, I think this is a great idea that we should do.
What is it?
Just one slur for $200,000?
$200,000 to get us to say one slur on stage.
This is in the context of the last show ever.
Yeah.
It's based on a concept we invented in 2017 where, you know, we had begun working three hours a week on content and we were like, we can't keep doing that.
We're going to kill ourselves.
It felt like the Steve McQueen movie where he rides the motorcycle off of the Holocaust.
The Great Escape.
But it's a similar situation, right?
He is Nazis.
And you know what?
He doesn't actually get out of the Holocaust.
He gets pretty far in the motorcycle, but he is returned to the Holocaust at the end of the movie.
I thought it was cool how at the end of the movie they're like, looks like you didn't make your escape and you're going to have to keep running your book, Primo Levy.
Barely anybody.
That movie is really poorly named because barely anybody actually.
No, that's what I love.
That's what I like.
The Great Escape is one of my favorite movies of all time.
Coburn and James Gardner.
No, no, Bronson gets out of the way.
Oh, Bronson too.
I think those three guys, everybody else gets watched.
Yeah, they all get all the way.
Wasn't there a video game for it, too, which was like kind of good, actually.
The Greatest Game is.
Yeah, it was actually good.
There's lots of tunnel digging action.
Yeah, no, I've never...
Well, no, it was more like...
Oh, we'll actually talk about this as well.
But it was more just like a prison.
Like, there was a Holocaust camp, like, I mean, concentration camps that you were like inside of that you were trying to escape out of, which was, but it was cool.
Like, it wasn't like, damn.
Now that I think about it, like, that's never getting revealed.
I mean, like, honestly.
Nazis are kind of whimsical if it's just a POW camp.
Yeah, no.
Like, honestly, like, most of my favorite movies take place in World War II POW camps.
And if you're, you know, an American or British officer and not like, you know, a Jew or a gypsy in the Eastern Front, basically being in a POW camp in World War II is like summer camp, but there's like guns.
And it's just basically you and your friends doing hijinks and pranks and just having fun.
Stalex 17 showed this.
Someone is going to fucking POW-MIA your ass for this and be like, what are you talking about?
We never got the ashes bag of my great, great, great, great grandma.
Well, Vietnam, a little different.
They got what they deserved.
Oh, yeah, no, no, no.
I know, but I'm saying for World War II.
You know, if they didn't die when their plane crashed, like, all those guys just got out.
They either got out or they like repatriated the Germans.
There was, of course, Melmody, where a bunch of U.S. POWs were summarily executed by the German army.
That sort of became a scandal after the war.
But for the most part, if you got captured by the Germans, yeah, they would put you up.
And as Stalex 17 shows us, you'd get to dress up like Betty Grable and dance around.
You get to bimbo-fire your friends.
Wait, really?
Yeah, yeah.
How do we Stalex 17?
How do we find that?
They were in captivity for like three hours, and they're like, well, we're never going to see a woman again.
One of us has to like the seahorse take.
And of course, the wild thing is you think, oh my God, this is so offensive.
But the writer-director of that film, Billy Wilder, and the guy who plays the camp commandant, Eric von Stroheim, are both Jews who fled Nazi Germany and Austria.
That was, if you were in Hollywood in the 60s and they needed someone to play anything from a Mongolian to a Nazi to like a Martian, it's like, just get me a tan Jewish guy.
That was the best.
If you wanted to be a working actor in Hollywood, the best thing to be was like a Jewish guy who didn't sunburn.
That's like the NBA too, early inception of the NBA, right?
It's like Jewish guys were cracked out there.
The original starting five of the Knicks were all Jews.
We used to be all the boxing champions, too.
Yeah.
That was during the grind.
People are constantly talking about Jewish conspiracy or whatever, but they've kind of fell off.
Like they were popping off.
Well, what happened is that they were on their grind back then because they had to be, but then they kind of got soft and now they all have anxiety.
They don't have enough Sigma grind set down.
They're not a Sigma grind set.
No, when you become white, it's like it kills your motor.
I had an ancestor who was like...
He was like what Turtle is on entourage for the mafia in Chicago.
That's a sick role.
But he didn't, I don't know.
He wasn't very good at it.
That's all I'll say.
Giving up too much family history.
But, you know, before we were white, we did a lot of stuff.
And after we became white, we became Noah Baumbach.
It's true.
It happens to everybody.
Look at what happened with the fucking organized crime in this country.
You had the Italians on their grind, running that shit, being like on par with like U.S. Steel, as Myrlansky said.
And now all their kids are like fail sun fucking SoundCloud rappers.
And Albanians are doing all the actual crew because they're here more recently and they have that same grind set.
Because they're not white yet.
All right.
Because they're not white yet.
Yeah.
We're on the verge.
Their application is being considered.
Also, we have Chapo Trap House in the house.
Hello.
Everybody.
We didn't even do an intro.
We're so bad at podcasting.
It's not even funny.
The legends.
They're just such pros that they will riff on a riff of a riff.
This happens every episode.
Don't worry.
That's like a gimmick at this point.
Yeah, we've built that into the show.
It's a little, it's like the secret word.
It's obviously playing way.
Matt, I gotta say, your legs are looking sexy.
What?
That's like, I don't mean to sludge shame you or objectify you, but your legs are.
We're turning him into Betty Grable.
I'm being bimbo fied.
You are being bimbo fied.
Yeah, it's California.
California.
Yeah.
That's a TS.
What's up?
We are in a prisoner of war camp from an Axis power.
You know, the, I mean, like, they weren't fully an Axis power, but they were like, you know, we kind of rock with the Axis.
Are you talking about the Turks?
Yeah.
No, they didn't.
They were like, they were like, we kind of like this.
World War II, they were like, we learned from our mistakes.
It took a big out of camp.
Another thing I learned from World War II movies about POW camps, being in a German POW camp, again, if you're a British or naval, British or American officer, pretty dope.
If you're in a Japanese POW camp, sucks.
They make you do projects.
They make you build a bridge.
They put fucking Alec Guinness in a box when it's like 130 degrees outside.
Not far enough.
Not for you.
They ate PUSPOWs.
George H.W.
Yeah, George's shipmate, crewmates on his bomber that was shot down in the Pacific, the ones who didn't get rescued, who got captured by Japanese patrols from a nearby garrison, got eaten by the Japanese.
That's because the Japanese had no other goals except for winning the war and inflicting carnage.
And the Germans obviously were awful, but they had secondary projects.
They were like, okay, the war, we should win it.
We're going to try our best.
Really, though, we're going to find Santa and all our favorite Marvel characters in the Arctic Circle.
And also, other priorities.
Their ideology sort of required them to treat allied American and British prisoners differently than they treated everybody to their east because they still had this idea.
But they focused?
They have a whiteness.
Yeah, they had a whiteness deal.
And these are white men at the end of the day.
And who are we if we don't treat them differently than we treat these non-that's wild?
They love them.
They didn't give that to the sloth.
Oh, God.
Hitler was so heartbroken that the Brits declared war.
He would have loved for the Brits to just be like, you're fine.
He sent his most neuro-atypical guy to the UK.
And it was like, go there, find whoever, shake their hand, and we're like, we're in this together.
Like, the white dudes rock.
Just find one of those Oswald Mosley types to like, just talk some sense into Churchill.
Yeah.
Nope.
Nope.
You're going to jail.
You're going to Nazi prison.
You're going to Uniprow jail.
But they had an ideological commitment to it.
The Japanese, I don't think any of the Japanese High Command were even addicted to morphine or anything fun like that.
Right.
They were just doing their duty.
Yeah.
A profound sense of accomplishing the task given, which is, you got to, I was going to say, you got to respect that.
You got to hand it to him.
CIA Operatives And Police Power00:15:37
No, you can't.
You don't need to hand it to him.
Never mind.
Yeah.
The Manchuria stuff, I mean, pretty.
How good?
Pretty, pretty, pretty crazy, pretty terrible.
Yeah.
Anyway, so this is a podcast where we don't actually talk about politics.
And we don't normally talk about World War II history either.
That's too bad.
It's not fun.
Yeah.
No, I'm not.
We finally get some boomers to listen to this.
Yeah, Felix is exactly right, though, that World War II is like true crime for men.
It is.
It's the sort of like ghoulish interests that men occupy their time with and knowing facts about rather than just like well, I think that's generational.
I think that is true for like boomers and maybe extras.
I think now that's conspiracy theories.
I think conspiracy parapolitical history.
Like the stories of all the assassinations and the coups and the sex trafficking, like that's the same prient, like titillating sense of basically fetishizing your own oppression.
Like imagine being murdered by the patriarchy if you're a woman or being dominated by this like satanic deep state if you're a guy.
But it's the same like enjoyment.
It's the same.
I feel like it's broader reaching than that.
Like if we were to look at conspiracy theories across the board of like the consumption of conspiracy theories, there's like there's something for everybody though.
I get what you're saying as far as like being a man and being dominated in this like being dominated by the structures in a way that like you can't describe.
But I also have listened to you talk about conspiracy theories from a like a structural materialist perspective.
And I think that that is 100% correct.
Like that's exactly how I feel as well that this is a way to try to this is a way to try to reason with realities that you are unable to comprehend because you have no materialist perspective.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You have to build out of like the media shards, which is just going to give you the story the media is always telling you, which is a fascinating spectacle narrative that you participate in by observing, not by engaging with.
That's excluded by the relationship.
And then that's the same, it's the same as the Nazi ideology revolving around like looking for some kind of mythos behind it.
And also, you know, awful to talk about, though, because all of this stuff, like the worst imagining, the worst thing you could imagine in terms of what the government has done, like if you think of like the most outlandish claims you've ever heard about the CIA and then like scaled them back, like probably 75% bulk are true.
Yeah.
But the question is, which ones aren't is unknowable by the approach of like looking at trying to piece things together.
Because then you're just QAnoning yourself a fantasy narrative.
You can't find the truth that way.
Okay, question for all you guys then, including Will.
And this is, I almost feel like it's cliche now because I know Macro Dosen talks about this too.
Shouts out to PFTM and be on their show tomorrow.
But do you think Alex Jones is a CIA op then?
No, because we aren't.
That's at the end of the day.
Because we have been accused.
No, but you don't, but you.
Well, here's the thing.
People have accused us since the beginning of our show of being some sort of CIA op.
And a lot of people have put together very detailed linkages to make a narrative involvement in the site.
And my family is involved with the FBI, not the CIA.
Get it right.
And all they are, all the things that you can tie together, they're basically at the same level of Reasoning that you use for all the other conspiracy narratives you're trying to identify in the world.
And you apply that rubric to us, and it's like, yeah, these guys ring out.
These guys stink.
I should assume that these people are CIA operatives or whatever the fuck.
But I know for a fact that I am not.
And so that means that like exactly what a CIA operates.
But I'm just not saying how like my, what I'm up, the principles I am ostensibly operating from.
You can like think I'm lying or you can think I'm telling the truth.
But like this is how I imagine it.
Only reason why I feel that there is some weight to that narrative is not necessarily because like, oh, his father was a dentist for the CIA or whatever fucking grand conspiracy that like people have tried to piece together, but instead about like the very real output of Alex Jones,
which is 10% truth, like being talking about the surveillance state, talking about like all the other shady things that the government does, and then 90% psychotic bullshit that counts.
Isn't that always what it is, though?
Can I put out an idea?
You guys should just randomly do an episode of your podcast where you pay three actors who look vaguely like you and do like the name of the podcast is like Swish a House Remix or something.
And it's what your podcast would be if the CIA tried to recreate the effect that you guys have as plants.
I mean, what would that even be?
I guess like for the left, it would be like do direct action, comrades.
If you work backward, though, from the assumption that the state of being, the state of how things are is how the C, the status quo wants it to be.
That's what the CIA and all those guys are acting towards is what we have now.
If you work back from that, anything like influential in media, like Alex Jones, becomes part of a narrative that made that happen.
It's like, oh, Alex Jones shows up and helps make this happen because that's what the CIA wants.
And I just think that that assumption is incorrect.
I think that these broader structural changes that the CIA is like moving us towards and guarding against an alternative to emerging, they are creating new conditions that are then like opening new like avenues that then are just filled, vacuums like in media that are filled.
Like we talked about Alex Jones, his percentage of like right-wing stuff has drastically increased over the years.
He started off as a populist, anti-Bush, sort of contextually leftist critic of the Bush administration.
And that went away when Trump became president.
And it's like, okay, so is this the CIA like moving the dial like diabolically?
Or is this somebody following the money over time?
Is this somebody seeing like there's this ambient sense of alienation at the Finn Cycle America, like the 90s, everyone's anxious about the end of history.
They want some explanation.
He's there to give that ambient, non-partisan understanding of the world a narrative, a shape.
And that includes like Waco and then 9-11.
And he builds this story, Bohemian Grove Elites, that does not have any culture war baggage, really.
But then when things get worse, culture becomes more politicized, there's a bigger audience for a conspiracy narrative, since the left forecloses that, because the Democrats can't encourage that kind of thinking, and leftism really forbids it also, then all of the energy goes to the right.
And all the audience appears on the right.
People want to hear a story where your narrative of like greater forces controlling us is directed towards specific cultural grievances and enemies.
And away from power structures.
The deep state is shadow banning my Facebook account.
The best argument for him being the CIA is actually San Right.
Because the thing that you would get out of the is that people are more paranoid, more atomized, more suspicious of everything, more suspicious of their neighbors.
The best argument against it, the best argument that he is like us at the end of the day, all of us, just, you know, fetid media creatures, is the revelation that he makes like tens, if not hundreds of millions.
Yeah, that's true.
Like, the audience is huge, and he's just at the fucking font of it because everybody else is trying to carry buckets at the edge.
He's got like the main hose because he was there at those critical moments to see the tide turning and move with it.
That is his movement.
It is not him masterminding a movement on behalf of a greater puppet master.
It is a con man riding the room.
He reads the room very well and is able to move his.
And the audience moved right and he went with it.
That's it.
And that's the only way that, to me, he makes sense.
And like even the Sandy Hook thing.
If you are forming this like new culturally right-wing populist critique of American power under Obama, and the Democrats are in power and you have Democrat priorities emerging and one of them being gun control.
And you having in opposition to this government, a desire to hold on to your guns because you're paranoid and alienated from your government.
And you feel like that would be the removal of real power from you is to take your guns.
And then this thing happens, this event happens that is like a bolt from God of like violence like around the issue of gun control.
Like the media event of the Obama years to connect to the issue of gun control.
And so you have a Democratic president leading the response to this, crying on national television.
What is he going to want to talk about in response?
There's a million things you could talk about when talking about something like this happening.
Guns is like one of the tertiary ones.
But because he's a Democrat and that's all he can address, that's where he's going to direct it.
And so that means you see before you this event being followed by this marshaling of forces to take your guns.
If you have an understanding of the world that includes things like the government did 9-11, it's not a hard leap to imagine.
The government could stage the killing of a bunch of children to pass gun control.
And then if you're going to be, even if Alex Jones and you're smart enough to know that that's a dangerous place to go, if you're going to start accusing these families of not being victims, if your readers or your listeners start, and there is an interactive call-in element of this, that's how he takes the temperature and knows where to go, they're telling you that they don't want you to tell them that this is the really thing that happened.
They want you to reassure them that this country is basically good, guns are basically good, and that these demons pulling the strings are what makes things like this happen in this country.
And the reason why we're seeing that more and more now, I think, is because they've exhausted all other alternative narratives to it where like you had effective counters.
You could always say like, there's a good guy.
There's a good guy that could have saved the situation.
There would have been a good guy in this circumstance.
But like there is never going to be any sort of like legislative prescription towards solving any of the underlying problems.
And even the most obvious one that's like supposedly what a normal government would be able to solve, like gun control to a certain degree, like common sense shit.
Like they're never going to do that.
So after a while, I think the reactionary media runs out of options.
So you have to, when the unthinkable happens, like little children are brutally massacred, I think there's just like this snap where you don't have anything else that you can say about it.
So you have to say, no, this is not real.
It's consumed.
You know what's interesting?
The Uvalde massacre, another massacre of children, like a repeat of Sandy Hook under a Democratic president.
There's really no narrative of a false flag there.
No, they ran.
Because the issue of the police emerged.
Yeah, that's true.
And it gave them a redoubt to go back to without having to go to denying it actually happened.
They're able to stay there and fight on those terms.
And then it's to the narrative of the police in action.
And then it goes back to, that's why we need to have guns because the police can't fucking defend.
Right.
You'll notice, like, this is another thing that by every other right, you should be assuming didn't happen.
And yet everybody, nobody leaps to that conclusion and nobody argues on that territory because it's just, it's not part of the material reality of the situation, which was a result of the stochastic monstrousness of life in this country.
But of course, the frustrating thing, again, is you talk about this and you say that this is a lot of the things that we scare ourselves with are things that we're making up.
But we also know for a fact that the CIA, or I mean, sorry, the FBI has intimate contact with basically everybody who does a fucking shooting in this country, has prior understanding of that.
Like that dude who just tried to shoot up the FBI.
Yeah, I didn't even know that he was well known to the FBI.
Sorry, I just got to shout out about the guy who tried to shoot up the FBI.
I'm glad Dick Schiffer.
Dick Schiffer, God is so good.
I have to shout out John Dolan, the war nerd, because he said there was like the first line of this guy's Facebook post he said will be in the annual like a 25th century volume of like the annals of American poetry.
The line is, I thought I had a way to get through the bulletproof glass.
Turns out I didn't.
Which was a nail shot.
It's a nailing fucking nail gun.
Okay, we were losing it over this yesterday because like, okay, the glass is bulletproof.
Yeah.
So what am I going to use to counter the bulletproof glass?
A much less powerful gun.
Well, that's not.
He's like, in his mind, he's like, it's not a bullet.
When those guys are like, we're trained, like, you don't know what you're fucking with.
They mean it's like something they saw in law-abiding citizens.
Yeah.
That's literally it.
Yeah.
They were watching like DIY TikToks.
Yeah.
Going back to like certain.
AI figured out how to get through bulletproof glass.
Yeah.
Use a sword.
Kill it.
Killing the FBI demons.
Yeah.
TikTok.
TikTok boys like unboxing my SBR.
I can't wait to see what kind of fucking, like, if Trump were to be indicted, which I don't think is going to happen.
I just, the wave of just goofies coming out of the woodwork to assault government bureaucratic or media offices with like medieval siege weaponry.
He's like got a fucking trebuchet.
Somebody's like trying to use twin archebuses to bust open TF office and debuke.
They try to do like Mongol biological warfare by like taking a guy who's 70 who's going to sacrifice himself for the cause.
And they're like, okay, we're going to do the worst thing to you.
We're going to give you the Pfizer vaccine and then we're going to launch you into the FBI field office.
You're a biological weapon.
What is it?
He's a biological weapon.
He's everywhere.
He's sucking dicks nonstop.
He's walking in there like, give me, I'm so gay now.
I can't stop.
I mean, just was like, just like this morning, some guy like rolled up to the Capitol.
Yeah, unbelievable.
Four in the morning, fired a gun in the air a couple times and then blew his brains out.
Folks, Patriots are in control.
Absolutely.
I love seeing like a version of the IRA with just like no, like no community element, no like reality.
No chain of command, no like, no chain of command, no like articulated goal.
Like it's good.
See, but that's where the narrative will say that that question of a goal.
Yeah, sure, it doesn't look like it.
It looks stochastic, but what we're seeing behind the scenes is the pulling of the strings of federal intelligence agencies and the FBI because like we know these people have these connections, but I got to say, in my gut, trying to make sense of this stuff, I absolutely think that there is some sort of government connection to basically any like mass terror attack, one way or the other, because of their tendrils.
I think they are in contact with all these people.
And I think they do have a general bureaucratic interest in seeing these kind of events either happen or be thwarted.
And it doesn't matter which.
So that is why I don't think that they're calling shots.
I don't think they're saying there's going to be a shooting here on this date and we're going to have this guy do it.
I think they have people in the field in contact with every fucking loose screw in this country to make sure where they're, how on the beam they are, which direction they're going to fall, and then maybe pushing them a little bit to get them, either to getting busted and then getting some guy a fucking promotion to special agent in charge, or, oh, he does it.
And now we have another little bit of American domestic latio and another and another colonel in like our national bag of popcorn popping early.
So it can be popped off and not end up being either resistance.
Militias And Collective Action00:05:19
You see it with like, you see it with like defund the police shit, right?
Where it's like, okay, we recalled Chesa or we recalled like whoever or we're going to recall him.
Crime's going up.
We need a higher budget.
Yeah.
Okay.
We did it.
We flooded the streets, broken window theories.
Stop and friends.
Crime went down.
We need a bigger budget.
It's always going to go up for federal law enforcement.
So you don't need a broader, like a real plan towards some like, whatever you want to call it, great replacement if you're a racist or like reset, however you want to frame that, which is just like this paranoid fantasy of American masculinity under attack.
I'm sorry, that's what it is.
It's like this big libidino bubble that we're all building out of our terror that we're all going to be fully proletarianized.
And that's the expression of it.
But I just think you cannot, I don't think that the neoliberalization of institutions in this country spared our intelligence community.
They got neoliberalized.
Oh, yeah.
There's no longer just the CIA and the FBI.
There are 30 different fucking intelligence departments, all of them with their own bureaucracies, internal hierarchies, institutional prerogatives competing against each other for funding.
And they all issue 1099s.
They're all using contractors.
Those are the people that turned Virginia.
Exactly.
And it's all being funneled through private actors who probably want multiple contracts from competing fucking organizations.
But I think that's this.
But that's where you see the failure.
What I'm saying is you get the same result, which is people being driven crazy by living in this fucking country in a violent, saturated, gun-infested hellhole, reaching their limit and then doing something about it.
And the only difference that this like understanding of parapolitics when placed on top of that has is to let you know, oh yeah, like this specific guy ended up being the guy who did it because he was in contact.
He had like this interaction with this agent here, but they're all in interactions all the time.
And eventually they fall off in one direction or another, but the thing that's going to pull them off the beam is gravity.
But that means that we are just where we were before.
And so the same questions are before us.
And they're political questions about holding power.
How do you do that?
The idea that you're going to change anything by making people aware of conspiracy theories, proving them, is insane because you already have millions and millions of people in this country who believe the most radicalizing stuff about what this government has done and is capable of.
And what are they doing with that understanding?
They're just trying to tell other people to believe what they believe.
But if that happens, what are they going to do with it?
The same thing that you did.
Just tell other people about it.
Yeah, that's this is such a perfect segue into what I've been looking at on my, I did a whole like YouTube React series on this.
I call it like Hog Talk, but there are militia members and like some of them are legitimately in militias that they form, but they're the funniest and dumbest fucking militias of all time.
And basically like what you're saying is exactly true, where at the end of it all, you got like a 45-year-old divorced dad who looks like he's 68, okay, just absolutely, you know, wearing a fucking hard hat, probably on his lunch break, okay, talking about how, you know, we got to do something.
We got to do something.
And where does the fucking, where, what is the call to action there?
Hashtag like, you know, duet me, duet my TikTok.
And like when you got the fucking Arkansas, you know, white nationalist militia guy saying, just duet my TikTok, it's over.
You're done.
You're done.
Well, that's, okay, you know how everyone makes fun of like that online like ML or like sometimes anarchist thing of like, what are your jobs going to be after the revolution?
And everyone's like, I'm going to be a psychiatrist for people who are traumatized by capitalism.
I'm going to be a designer for the uniforms for the Red Army.
I'm going to make communist Hamilton.
And no one is like, I guess I'll figure out irrigation or try to do that.
I'll be like a bean farmer.
Everyone always wants some type of artistic, artistic media performer job at the end of the day.
That's the only thing Americans want.
I'm anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist film critic.
We are all, we are all of us anime appraisers.
But that's everyone.
Because these guys are like, okay, what happens after the Great Awakening where we hang everyone from General Mark Milley to like, I don't know, Vivian Westwood.
I don't know why I picked that as a celebrity.
I was trying to pick someone American and I landed on that one.
The fucking Brown Starbucks barista that like missed, like wrote your name wrong or something.
I don't know why I said her.
But they're like, after we do that, my role is still going to be, I'm going to be what I am now, which is member of the media.
Yeah.
Everyone, everyone wants that.
Like people think, I think everybody assumes people who believe in like, yeah, the consciousness raising through narrative, a theory of change.
So you get, yes, yes.
And you get, okay, 50% of people might believe that Kennedy was assassinated at 9-11 isn't his idea, but that's not enough.
You need it to be 75.
And there is a threshold.
And I think that when, I think that is an artifact of the human brain not understanding what technology has done to it and how it has de-socialized us.
Like that call to action from knowledge gets dissipated if it is only understood and interacted with in this spectacle that like you are essentially addicted to, which means that there's no amount of horror that you will find out about that will change your relationship with it.
The Scandinavian Model Of Control00:03:37
You have to change your material relationship to the world around you.
And that only happens through collective endeavor, people acting together around shared material goals.
And there's no mechanism.
That's the only thing you talk about it on shows like this, but it's the only thing that moves the wheel.
And the mechanism for that kind of change historically has been completely undermined and eviscerated in America.
So there's no labor union structure or any sort of like workers' councils.
Well, if I could just make a slight digression, I know we said we weren't going to talk about politics on the show.
We're going to do some TikTok stuff.
We're going to just be fun and goofy, but there's a serious issue I'd like to present as it relates to collective action, something I think that we as Americans should take seriously that I'd like to use your platform to spread awareness about.
All right, listen.
And that is my blood vendetta against the government of Norway right now.
Fuck those motherfuckers.
Did you follow the story about Freya the Walrus?
Can you pull up sinking boats?
She's sinking boats in Oslo.
So what was the Norwegian government's response to this delightful Williams taking up residence in people's business?
This frolicsome queen.
Yes, this absolute queen named after a Viking goddess.
What'd they do?
They killed her.
What?
Yeah, today.
Scandinavian harami.
Yeah, yeah.
This is the Scandinavian model.
They said we killed her because moving her would be too difficult.
And to that, I say to Norway.
Well, they let her sink like 20 boats.
Well, I mean, just get some more boats.
It's an accident of God that you people have oil.
You were the hicks of Northern Europe, and then God gave you oil.
And you're like, oh, he's also telling us to kill this delightful wall.
I wish you never told me about this.
It's a fucking sadness.
Look, I am like George W. Bush with the megaphone right here.
I'm saying like the Freya fans, we hear you.
And the people who killed people.
The people who killed her, you will hear from us soon.
So I'm calling for American boots on the ground in Oslo, humanitarian or walrusitarian, you know, sea mammal humanitarian intervention here.
The government of Norway, I don't, there are no military or civilian targets.
They are all guilty.
Oh, 100%.
They are all guilty.
I'm not, you know, this is the U.S. Air Force should just level Oswald.
Further reasons for the military and dosha complex, they kind of did an Iran-style nationalization project that was successful.
We let them get away with that.
That's fucked up.
They have a fuckload of natural resources that they got to keep, which is that they got to keep.
And on top of that, they nationalize it, which is pretty communist.
I feel like they should be taking down a couple people.
I mean, they wouldn't have been allowed to do that with their oil if they were not in Europe.
World.
World's best living writer.
Kyle Overcoast Boznard.
Here we go.
Okay.
He was actually the one.
He was the one who beheaded Freya.
Okay.
Okay.
He's Ace of Space then.
He's top of the 52.
He used a veihander.
We're going into his little Saddam hole.
It's Carlos' little Saddam hole where he's writing 14.
His book, though, about his trial, the end of my struggle, his trial, where he's hung for executing Freya, is going to be the best that I've ever written.
46 volumes.
He's going to be writing it up until the trap door opens.
I mean, you know, people have like darkness in them.
But seriously, though, Norway, you fucked up.
Yeah, you're on the list.
You fucked up.
That is crazy because the last story about it was like kind of how cute.
Yeah, and everyone loves Freya.
Sinking boats.
That is trying to build their rafts, too.
Primitive Fish Jerky And Bulking00:02:47
Well, I mean, just let my girl cook.
Let my girl cook.
Let my girl cook.
I think it was nature telling Norway to cut it out.
Like, that's what it was.
It was nature's vengeance.
Norway, look out.
Even if American military intervention doesn't happen, which it should, we put a boot in the armboard with it.
It's the American way.
Yeah.
I wonder what boat she was trying to sink that was finally the coffin nail.
Yeah.
Probably one of the oil tankers or something.
It's like, nope.
Yeah, you can sink everyone's party pontoons.
Yeah, but as soon as he's down in Bontaine, that's good.
It was crucial.
It was a crucial lootkafisk consortment.
You know about that stuff?
Oh, no.
Fucking, oh, god damn it.
What's it called?
There's another.
You're talking about canned fish, right?
No, it's fermented.
Yeah.
It's the worst.
I've had it.
I've had it.
It's great.
Yeah, no, I've been to, I have been to Iceland.
And I had there, I had there, like a, I went to a traditional restaurant that's our traditional Icelandic food.
And it had, there was some good stuff.
Like there's lamb and like really nice bread.
But they also had this.
They had good food in Iceland.
Well, like some of it, but like the traditional stuff, the more traditional you got, the grosser it was.
Yeah.
And like they have this thing, this mink whale that they eat.
And it just tastes like kitty litter.
It's just like pure ammonia.
It blows my fucking mind how they're, I mean, none of those, you have to be from a warmer climate to eat like decent food.
It's just fast.
Well, they produce giants, so they must have been doing something, right?
I'm fine.
Well, they were protein bulking us.
Yeah.
They weren't kicking around with carbs.
Yeah.
You can, you can do that and still eat like the rocks diet now.
Three pounds of cod a day.
Three pounds of cod a day, baby.
And yeah, it was just fermented and salted.
And like they had this one other thing I had, it was this dried, it was like dried cod that they would like eat in the winter.
And I was like, oh, cool.
Like, I think this might be some sort of like a primitive fish jerky, like maybe like salty because it's preserved.
It was like fucking shoelaces.
It was like totally flavorless, totally flavorless.
And just like a rusk of like the shit you peel off a corn.
You know, a husk.
Oh, man.
It was like a husk.
I would literally prefer not to have socialized health care.
Like, I like if they gave me the option, I'd be like, no, You only need to eat this fucking food.
I mean, call normal food there.
They love hot dogs in Sanitarium.
They're very good, by the way.
They're probably my favorite types of hot dog I've had.
Just make sure.
The Iceland hot dogs are really tasty.
They have like the sauce on it.
It's really nice, like little crunchy bits.
Republicans And Dark Brandon Memes00:10:45
They're really good.
Much better than the Chicago hot dog.
Yeah, that's right.
I said it.
But no, don't.
Oh, shit.
Iceland fighting.
Oh, yeah.
Like fucking shark cartilage and like sea lie ball.
It's a good old regular pig anus hot dog.
It's just got beautiful fixants.
No, they just saw an American and they're like, oh, don't give him the one that's made out of like icebergs.
Yeah.
Viable steel fetuses.
Which we always eat and love.
That's what we love to eat normally.
Yeah, the Freya saga is the conclusive demolition of the Nordic model.
The Nordic model is dead.
Matthew Bruning in fucking shambles right now.
Say what you will about America, but like, you know, like in San Francisco, like that, the place with all the sea lions.
Yeah, like if we have like if like our, it'd be a cool ones if they just like flew an Apache helicopter over there and just sprayed it with fucking gallon guns.
Easy.
You just don't need him as much.
Imagine an A-10 warthog just straight can't be.
Oh, that's sad.
Matthew Bruning has been suspiciously quiet since the Freya news drop.
His silence is deafening.
Oh man, I'm bumped out now.
That is sad.
Okay, well, we can move on from the sea lion.
One thing I want to talk about, it's very interesting that the last time we were all together, we were in a bar at a period of time that felt like one last good celebration before pretty notable decline.
Okay, yeah, in Vegas, after the Nevada caucus, we were there at the Bernie Victory party.
It just washed everyone by 30 points.
And it had rained in Vegas, and we were at this party, and there was a rainbow.
There's a rainbow behind the fucking bar.
And I remember just like, you know, it's like grabbing Madden Felix and going, friends, I think it's going to be okay.
Wasn't it like, wasn't it the fucking, like, it was the back of the bar, and then it was like a fucking like playground.
There was like a swing set or something.
I remember forgetting that.
But anyway, like, yeah, there was a perfect rainbow behind getting fucking, I'm getting fucking goosebumps and stuff.
Okay, that was like good.
That was good.
Total code.
Don't you think it's interesting that now that we're all reunited, something even better has happened?
President Biden is going to sign the IRS.
Dark Brandon Rises.
Yo, we've got a fucking climate bill, y'all, which is all tax breaks for individual consumers and all of it is balanced with new natural gas and oil.
We were in the pool yesterday talking about the Dark Brandon thing.
And it was so funny because like, I mean, when it started, it was kind of funny because the idea of like that you could connect any event that happens in the world, like you're like, like somebody invented it.
Yeah, so some drillers.
Some mega guy crashes his car into a divider and then it's like Dark Brandon Rise.
Because the joke is that someone is dodgering and incompetent.
If just someone is out for lunch, as Biden would be like secretly orchestrating all world events and assassinating his enemies.
But now that it's been adopted by people who were like, he just passed the Inflation Reduction Act.
Biden laser eyes glowing.
I made, dude, I didn't know.
Neoliberalized it.
He literally took, co-opted a fucking meme and turned it into a marketing material.
All memes, all memes co-opted, you know?
Yeah.
I just, every time, I feel like, I don't know, I feel like this is like, maybe, maybe I sound a little crackhead thing, but I feel like, you know, we'll start a joke that's fun, like Jack and On.
Because yeah, the idea of a man who's literally dying.
Doing like even like him signing bills, because you know they're not giving him a real pen.
No.
No.
Is hilarious.
And then, yeah, it gets filtered.
It goes through the Brita filter of content.
The little sediment, the thing that makes water good, the edge gets taken out.
And then eventually, 18 months later, it ends up in the hand of a guy whose display name is like.
Joshua, let's start the tree tax break.
Gorminks, who's usually talking about zoning codes, is like, oh, Dark Brandon just had a, just ended the deferred tax loophole for insurance companies that are chartered in Connecticut.
And it's like, I'm going to use a nail gun to enter your townhouse.
I'm breaking your bulletproof glass.
I think this phenomenon, though, with like the actual White House staffers posting but dark branded memes.
And then people pointing out, hey, you know, the original video that made this meme included a Sonnen Rond behind Biden's head.
And like, this is like from Channer fascist culture that you're sort of getting this thing from.
But of course, they don't know that.
They're just like, oh, cool thing.
Hey, guys.
And they're trying to vaguely gesture towards an audience that they perceive but have no understanding of, which is just the mass of people on the internet.
And that makes me think that this is a real piece of evidence undermining the thesis that like the Trump presidency and administration is like a self-conscious like fascist movement.
And because a huge part of the evidence that's supposed to support that is all of the dog whistles and references to movement shit from people like Trump, like talking about where we go when we go all and mentioning QAnon stuff, going all the way through the administration and politicians.
They're all like gesturing toward this.
But what are they doing?
They're doing the same thing that these dopes are doing with Dark Brandon.
They're seeing just the churn of the internet from these people that they do not understand but feel beholden to in some way.
They see what they're talking about and they're like, that's right.
Yes.
Yeah.
Where we go all, that's where we are.
And then you have like one or two like based Groyper interns that like sneak in like a 14 word reference every now and then.
And then everyone's like, that's it.
So look at yourself.
If you feel like you're part of the Dark Brandon community in one way or the other, you know, you feel like you're participating in this fucking meme.
Think of how much influence you have over the Democratic Party.
Doesn't it stand to reason that they don't have that much more influence over the Republican Party?
They're differentiated posters.
The Republican goals overall of like, you know, that's the party structure itself moving it that way.
But they don't undermine or offend the pre-established hierarchy so they can get away with like a lot more.
They have a lot more leeway to just like be brutal to people that are otherwise powerless.
So it does feel like you're actually like the thing that leftists or liberals, progressives on Twitter get from like, I don't know, canceling a show or making sure that like a voice actor is not like one-tenth Cherokee or whatever.
That is the kind of feeling.
That's the kind of feeling that I think Republicans can sometimes get.
Like you see with the Roe v. Wade decision, because it's ultimately not impacting or undermining the pre-established hierarchy that will continue to ruin everyone's lives.
Yeah.
But it will like it will accelerate like ambient hatred.
And that's, I think, what people are feeling.
They're feeling like, oh, there is actually a higher risk that I am going to encounter some sort of like violence from somebody politically from the right.
And that's in absolute terms, probably true, but their sense of danger is wildly escalated by their consumption of media, which makes some things much loom much larger in their minds and therefore like stain their association like with every interaction in their life.
Like it's it's psychically over large in their mind.
And then they call that like this generalized drift of fascism, but it's an understandable like psychological reaction to a real ambient sense of dread that everyone feels and is expressing differently.
I'm so glad we had Minecrafters on the first episode.
And then now like by the by the fourth episode, this is what we're talking about.
All these like fucking little queer teenagers that are like, oh, yeah, like I love seeing influencers talk to Hassan and Will.
They're going to be like, what the fuck?
This podcast has been fact-checked by the Dark Brandon meme squad.
Yeah.
100%.
I keep cutting you off.
Like, that is, okay.
One of our hardened fest rules is that every American who is actively invested in electoral politics is the same person.
Yep.
They're the same person.
It is the Civil War.
It's brother against sister.
It's based brother against fucking Dark Brandon's sister.
It's, it's, they're the same sickos.
And you see that in that, like, okay, before Dark Brandon, you had based Mike Lee.
You had shit like that.
You had like a guy who has been in the Senate since 1986, like people like that.
And yeah, they would have like a griper staffer and they'd be like, oh, guess what?
Senator Richard Shelby just passed a bill giving tax allowances to companies that make laser guided guided missile systems in North Carolina.
That's based, give him laser eyes.
Yeah.
As lame and try hard as Dark Brandon.
But Republicans do that so much better.
That's why you see, we've talked about this before.
That's why you see at QAnon rallies, like a fucking Republican, like, you know, California Senate candidate that's not even going to fucking win go out there and then tie QAnon conspiracies directly back to like, you know, defunding public education.
And you're like, what the fuck, school choice?
Why are you talking about this right now?
Like, talk about the pedophile stuff.
And then they are able to still like take that.
They look at like genuine grassroots movements, like genuine reaction to the anger that people feel on the ground.
And they have their ear to the ground and they're able to like still turn it into a better marketing tool to, you know, consistently have enough angry people to go out and vote while they're also simultaneously making it so that like 10 people fucking vote anyway on the on the like electoral side.
I would say they're more successful culturally because QAnon is like, it has the advantage of being like a participatory collaborative fiction project.
Yeah.
And it's also validated by being unspeakable, like an unspeakable option in mainstream media.
Like that validates it.
Yeah.
If you are fully alienated from mainstream media and people, and that is a lot of Republicans are, obviously, but that's not just Republicans.
You know, there's this generalized greater understanding that I don't trust anything that I see in the media.
If something is universally branded by the media in unison as a disinformation or a lie, that is going to legitimize it just prima fascia for a bunch of people.
And then that gives, and then that gives you like a buy-in.
And then you start hearing the story and it's this compelling narrative that fits all of your understandings of like how to make sense of your world from the media that you've been consuming your entire life.
And then ultimately, some Republican turns it into a call of action to like defund public education.
Yeah.
And so you're already homeschooling your children.
Unspeakable Options In Media00:08:04
So you're like, yeah, I fucking love that.
It still goes through that Republican talking point mechanism and ultimately serves the higher purpose of like undermining the federal government's powers that already fucking sucks.
And, you know, these guys are just like at gunpoint stealing your taxes to fund the military industrial complex.
And like, why are you giving them money?
And they're also trying to bimbify your children now.
And if you want more of this hot QAnon action, you're going to have to get behind that paywall because we're an hour end.
So, yep, sign up now.
That's fine.
Okay.
Well, we'll let before we before we turn that, before we do the additional paywall stuff, Let's end it on a high note.
I wanted to give you guys a gift.
First of all, are you guys familiar with Bella Porch?
Bella Porch.
So, this is what I wanted to show.
I wanted to show you guys like my she's a porn actress.
No, she is not.
Okay, no, she is a TikTok star that rose to prominence after her very successful.
We have to show what this is.
There is no other way to do this.
You got to find that people just assume that anyone you associate with is a porn actor.
I like that her name is like someone challenged me to name my imaginary girlfriend.
I was just looking at stuff around me.
Yeah, so find the original face one because, like, this is the reason why she popped off, right?
And by the way, I know her personally.
I'm not like making fun of her.
She's great.
She's a wonderful person.
She was on your show this week alongside myself, Nami Price.
But I want you guys that are completely super separated, super far removed from like this incredibly viral shit to give like your first.
We're getting porch pilled.
Yeah, yeah, you're about to get on the porch pill, and then I'm going to tie it into something.
The one where it's like, yeah, first TikTok video.
You've never seen it.
Well, we gotta, we gotta fucking fire this guy.
We need like an actual 20-year-old.
We need someone younger.
You need that.
That's it.
Yeah, pull it up.
Jamie pulled it.
You pulled it up at the last second.
We have no volume.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if it's because you have it in your mic or not.
Bella Porch.
P-O-A-R-C-H.
I would never get that.
No, I think that's this.
I don't know.
I'm going to take her word for it.
Through the headphones.
Yeah, put it on real take.
Perfect.
She's just spelling from the top.
From the top.
The B, sem to the B's.
M-N-M-M-M to the B. Sem to the B, Sem to the B. Nice.
So that video went banez.
Like, that video was everywhere.
It was like inescapable.
For if you were under the age of like 30.
What is it?
What is she from?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a song.
It's not her song.
It's just another song.
It's someone else's song.
So this is getting back to the question of like why it's so sort of logical in a way to assume that everything is string-pulled and every cultural phenomenon is a work because it's the only way to make sense of something that is otherwise totally incomprehensible, which is why these things become popular.
I do not understand.
I can't only retrospectively can you even try to create a narrative.
And at that point, you're too far from it to even really feel it anymore.
I think it's like in the moment, I'm just baffled.
I think it like appeals to like this weird sense of it.
I don't know what it is.
It's like almost primal.
It's just like throwing shapes, colors.
It just like fit perfectly because it was very captivating for no fucking reason, right?
And it blew up.
And then she blew up.
And then she was able to create.
TikTok's a little simpler than all that.
It's listen, earworms, right?
They happen.
People have invented apps that are now on everyone's phone, Shazam, to go find a song.
TikTokers tapped into very early on obscure music.
You identified that that song was pretty cashy very quickly.
Putting it as their sound and then reproducing it, creating a nice visual for it.
This is a music video in seven seconds, right?
Now condense that to a new video.
I think that's a very good idea.
It's a very good explanation of TikTok.
What the equivalent of a really good, like, say, a beastie boys music video would have been for someone with a larger attention span.
Exactly.
It's like, we don't have time for all this narrative shenanigans.
We have a beat and we have like something that could just start in your head and then carry on all day.
We literally should make it so that you can't get an iPhone until you're 35.
But here's the thing.
This is literally like if there's any piece of legislation that I could pass that would instantly have a positive cultural and societal impact one million percent.
We're back to conspiracies, because it's like, all right, you can explain the broad content concept with, these are earworms, these are things that uh appeal.
But what?
Another thing I can't answer after that is why these specific ones?
And then you get to the other explanation.
They are the mk ultra triggers.
Those are the ones that become popular because those are the ones that are like literally setting off people to do mass shootings, because otherwise I don't know why this specific bump noise is better than the other ones, because there's aren't there five billion of them every second.
Well, Bella sent me a.
Uh, Bella text me.
Is she the daughter of mr Tick Tock?
Is that what?
No no no Bella, Bella text me.
Uh, around my birthday was like, what's your size?
Like what's your hoodie size?
And I was like uh, you know triple or double xl?
And I thought like she was sending me a a, a birthday gift, and I think she did.
But she just recently came out with her new ep this is not sponsored, by the way, but I but I thought it would be very fun to uh have.
Uh, you guys go through it and have your pick of the litter on your Bella porch merch, which includes, and is not limited to, a funko pop.
Oh baby yeah, I already got the postcards.
I have one funko pop already of uh, of Muncher, so you guys get to pick one.
Uh, when I get my, when I get my car, i'm gonna put this on the rear bumper and get shot immediately.
The 30 year old man with that on there yeah, I think i'll take the hoodie because I I mean, unless you guys want it because I yeah, why don't you go ahead and pop that on the premium?
Yeah, you don't have to wear it yet.
That's for the juicy kind of I will.
Now, if I, if I get the funko pop, I will officially have two funko pops, which is two more than any man.
There you go, I have one.
I have the Morritzy funko pop.
I think my friend Aaron sent it to me.
No, I really do.
I really have a funk I have on top of my tower.
I was given a gift of Munch as a funk dude.
This okay, that's not bad, that's drippy.
That's drippy, that's a.
That's fifth.
You look like one of, like the shadow producers at uh no, jumper m to the be, m to the beat, m to the be.
This guy's a wizard with trends okay yeah, uh.
The other thing I wanted to show you guys about tick TOCK uh specifically is because, like I sometimes, I like, I mean, first of all, I just got banned for seven days for no reason.
They're so annoying, but their community guidelines are awful.
You pilfered my content was what happened?
Yeah, that's what happened.
Oh you, uh.
But one of the things that I see so frequently on it is like tick tock live streams, and I don't even know if we can pull it up on the desktop.
But I want to show you guys the madness, because it is basically turned into a never-ending sequence of like either qvcs, but for crystals right, and I think it's like truly fascinating the way that it works.
Um, you can use the the, the volume button on the bar on the side, to like lower to zero if you want.
Tick tock, tick tock.
I've I've seen some TikTok lives that people have posted.
And the difference between TikTok Live and even Instagram or even the dreaded Facebook Live is TikTok Lives, it seems like that's the one you do.
What is happening?
What is happening?
Crystals Charged With Energy00:02:51
So this is like a very common one where you have this random lady.
Okay.
There's always, I don't know where the fuck they filmed this, okay?
But there's always like a random lady who is going through this like bubble bath of crystals.
Wow.
And people are constantly purchasing crystals.
And it's basically like gambling where, you know, she just dips a fucking bucket.
You'll see it in a second.
She'll dip a bucket into the weird like bubble bath of crystals and you pay for like a, you know, two scoops or one scoop.
Here, you'll see it right now.
What would conspiracy theories say about this shit right here?
She's making rock gumbo.
Yeah, no, literally.
Look, look, look.
And then she's going to describe the crystals.
All right.
She's a little low energy.
I love how we're going back into, like, we're trying to backwards engineer alchemy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, buckets of person about this is I would say one, you know, most crystals are bullshit, but I would say one out of every hundred one of these crystals contains like some evil.
Steep dark power.
Energy evil.
True evil.
Like, you know, you don't think that.
So you're saying there are no good crystals.
Well, I mean, like, you're with the, uh, you're with the Christian fundamentalists.
That they're demonic inherently.
Well, I mean, most of them are just rocks, but one out of every thousand.
I would say, I would say that if a, if a crystal can be charged with dark energy, and I think, you know, I believe in a lot of bullshit, I'll just accept that.
I think I don't see any reason why it would not also be able to be charged with positive energy.
Okay.
I have evidence of Matt's theory.
And this is, people are going to get mad at me.
I am sorry.
Will, you were talking about the last time we all met, everything was positive.
Everything was on the up and up.
During that phase of the tour, my mom sent me a gift.
My mom sent me a white crystal that was imbued with love and positivity.
No.
But it was actually imbued.
No, no.
I had that crystal on hand.
What did I do with that crystal?
I lost it in transit.
What happened after I lost it?
Super Tuesday.
He lost it, man.
Wow.
I hate this.
Dark Brandon.
That's what happened.
I kind of did.
But I think the way to make sense of it is to conceptualize an object being charged with energy.
It is charged with energy by interacting with its environment.
And I think that we can charge crystals by having them with us and mindfully being aware of them during moments of intense will and moving towards an objective.
Which placebo is what you're saying.
Selling Crystals Behind Paywalls00:04:56
Well, yeah, but I mean, that's real stuff at the end of the day.
Like if you're talking about the effect of a crystal, if it is down to it, it gives you a subconscious 10% greater confidence in your abilities or understanding or knowledge and ability to make a split second decision when like stakes are high.
That adds up to like measurable energy.
I just thought this was QVC gambling and it's like low-cost shit rocks that they're shilling.
You pay one price and like they might be more worth more than that.
Yeah.
Like the gambling apps.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's like baseball cards.
Yeah.
I might have a Ken Griffey Jr. in this one.
They've gambified everything, including this.
But it is like wild because there are a lot of trends on there that I like to look at sometimes.
I feel like I'm like as a live streamer myself, sometimes I feel like I'm just like, you know, I'm going into the, I'm the hedge fund manager that's like going down the street to like the penny stock, you know, day traders and like seeing what they're up to when I see that because they're fucking grinding.
They're on for like, you know.
Yeah, they're literally grinding crystals.
Yeah, that.
But then there's also like, there's a guy who's doing like ASMR sales of like iPhone cases.
And he fucking does this for like eight hours.
And he's just like, like, just like, you know, tickling the fucking iPhone case over and over again.
It's like, oh, show me the pink one again.
Without like, like, I don't understand how the fuck you don't lose your mind doing that over the course of eight fucking hours nonstop.
You lost your mind doing what you do.
I know, but like mine is more interactive at least.
Mine is more interactive.
There's like, you know, news to go through.
There's a lot that I do.
And like, I try to, I, I add variety to it.
Whereas you're, if I was literally going through the same 25 iPhone cases over and over again, I would go fucking insane.
Well, they're also doing it for an effective like $27 a day.
Yeah.
You know, like it's we're, well, I think that that crystal dealer was making guapo.
Like lots.
Really?
Yeah.
I bet everyone.
Let's see.
Let's see.
People were buying.
I don't know how much they're doing.
I have no idea.
How much, how much variance?
Because she did three pulls while we were watching, right?
Let's see how much each one of those pulls was.
But how much more money could you possibly get from one sack more than another?
Maybe she's like, maybe she's like the Robert De Niro in casino of crystals.
I don't know.
Yeah, they bring in the cooler.
They bring in a cooler where she's pulling too much.
There's like goldstone in there and stuff too, I think, to like spice it up a little bit.
Where do you sell this shit?
Do you sell it back to her?
No, I think people just like buy it because they fucking love crystals and they think they're getting a good deal out of it.
What if the Federal Reserve was buying this?
Wait, this is the Iraqi Dino.
Go and chat.
If they're not going to sell them, go and chat and ask how much one pull is.
If they're not going to sell them.
Oh, God, that's my account.
You said how much for one given rose?
It's only gambling that they can make the difference in value liquid.
They have to sell them.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if that's what these people are in it for.
I don't think.
$55.
That's crazy.
And that's happening.
Yeah, and that's happening.
USD.
Holy shit.
That is minted.
That's what I'm saying.
There's to be a combined three cents.
There is more on it.
It's going to be Hassan's neighbors.
Buy that shit.
We're ending the podcast.
We're getting a fucking crystal washing machine or wherever the fuck that is.
No, fuck.
Podcasting is stupid.
We're becoming crystal dealers.
There's more to it.
I want to do two things.
I want to get the crystal money.
And then if this is not my idea, I have to credit Chuvi, the God on Twitter, for this one.
It is to sell a seed oil, like a supplement that removes seed oils from your body.
Like, it's not real.
It's just like, you know, whatever.
It's sawdust.
But you just say, you know, this is lab studies has been shown to reduce like the percent, like the, you know, the indices of seed oil in your residual system.
I had an idea.
I had an idea like that.
Me and my brother came up with this idea.
I might ask you to edit it out because it is a multi-billion dollar idea.
We'll beep it.
We'll bleep it.
You get it.
Wait, can we put it behind the paywall?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, this is a good spot.
This is a good spot to stop for a brief moment.
And then we're going to transition into our paywalled content.
That's right.
Because we love money.
We love making money.
We love farming all the last hard-earned dollars out of you.
And that's why we paywalled this part.
And we are going to wash crystals when we get back.
Exactly.
And also, if you have a problem with that, then you can suck my dick, actually.
As a matter of fact, people are already like fucking complaining.
They're like, I can't believe it paywalls.
Getting Naked For A Billion Dollar Idea00:01:05
It's like, bro, of course.
Get some crystals in my life.
Get some crystals in your life.
Yeah.
Crystal up.
Are you hating outside of the crystal?
Yeah.
You can't even get in.
You don't even have the crystal.
You don't even have the goldstone.
Anyway, and where can people sign on?
There's a link in the description for the Patreon, and it's also what Fear and Pod or Patreon.com/slash Fearand is where you can also join the Fear and Heads.
We'll find a better and it's an ampersand.
Fear and Crystals.
No, it's not.
I fucked up.
No, it's not allowed.
Fear and Crystals in West Hollywood.
If you want the ampersand, it's behind the paywall.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's way more sex.
We're all going to get naked in a little bit.
And I know you want that.
I'm going to ride the city.
I'm going to list all the hottest.
I'm going to list the hottest 3.5 billion women in the world.