June 8, 2023 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
01:31:11
REFUTING Bigots with LGBTQ+ Ally Dave Landau
Don't be a bigot! Today we celebrate Dylan Mulvaney and all the brave women who make this month the most important religious Holiday in America. We are also discussing Elliot Page's latest hoax, gay fish, and so much more!
________________________________________________________________
WATCH THE NEW STREET VIDEO HERE: https://youtu.be/2KuOGzBFC8E
________________________________________________________________
Don't forget that we are fully independent and you can get this episode early & support Indp media directly at https://elijahschaffer.locals.com
________________________________________________________________
⇩ SUPPORT DAVE ⇩
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef_BGZnaThI
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/LandauDave
________________________________________________________________
⇩ SUPPORT THE SPONSOR ⇩Show more UNDERTAC: Get the best pair of boxers in America that are breathable, don't ride up, and last the test of time. Plus, they are battle forces tested. http://www.undertac.com/ for 20% off with the offer code OFFENSIVE20. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.
________________________________________________________________
⇩ GET MERCH HERE ⇩
WEBSITE: https://slightlyoffensive.com
________________________________________________________________
⇩ DOWNLOAD AUDIO PODCAST & GIVE A 5 STAR RATING! ⇩
APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/slightly-offens-ve-uncut/id1450057169
SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7jbVobnHs7q8pSRCtPmC41?si=qnIgUqbySSGdJEngV-P5Bg
(also available Google Podcasts & wherever else podcasts are streamed)
______________________________________________________________
➤BOOKINGS: [email protected]
➤BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]
_________________________________________________________________
⇩ SOCIAL MEDIA ⇩
➤ INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/slightlyoffensive.tv
➤ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer
➤ TELEGRAM https://t.me/SlightlyOffensive
_________________________________________________________________
The Idea Of A Free Society...For Kids!
Head to https://bit.ly/teach-freedom for a unique book series that introduces the important ideas that schools no longer teach. Show less
And it's supposed to be funny, but that's really up to you and quarter black Garrett to try.
And the sad thing is, is for me, is like, while I do have faith in you, the fact that you're doing it with quarter black Garrett, you have to carry 90% of the load.
Is it sort of like China, where instead of making like, because he's quarter black, so instead of making him like 50% of the size like they normally do with most black characters, he's just 25% smaller?
Well, I think, well, if this happened today, I think it would be like, hey, mom and dad, I'm gay, but now I'm going to have to have you sit down because I have some other news.
That's what we do with normal world is we try to expose how it's not normal and how everything is way over the top, but it is completely normal now in the way that we live.
Yeah, he's, I mean, he's not even going to get to the point where you can slip on a condom, but it's please clap.
I don't know.
I do like DeSantis, and I definitely like him more than, you know, other people.
But if we, I don't know, if it depends on who we get in there, because if we just have more of the same, I have no idea what's going to end up happening.
It's dangerous.
We're living in a time where the next four years is dangerous.
But then part of me goes, does it even matter?
I mean, everything seems part of a really convoluted plot.
But if you guys want to join, by the way, into our live chat, we got going on our uncensored live chat.
I got this comment here that said, one year ago, I tuned into a show called Slightly Offensive because I heard Dave Landau was going to be guesting on it.
Fast forward to today where I'm leaving up paid comments on Elijah's OnlyFans.
And Elijah and Dave, thank you for bringing so much knowledge and laughter into the world.
And may God bless you and your families.
And that shows how possibly retarded our audiences are.
Because if they think we bring knowledge, that's not saying much for any of us involved in this situation.
There's been a lot of articles written about a lot of things.
And I've had my fair share of fun.
And that's why I feel sad because can we get back to the day where we're joking about trans kids and we can just hold up our gay flag and we can just have a good time and you can just get sued for being five minutes late to a show, right?
Yeah, I had, this reminds me, like, I had a friend, this was 20 years ago, and it was before you would call it a tramp stamp, but it was a lower back tattoo.
And he was a kid who used to ride crotch rockets.
And he showed up to this party we were at, and we're in Detroit.
So it's like half black, half white.
And he's like, check out what I got.
And he lifts up his shirt and he had a tram stamp, no job, that said end racism.
And I have never heard black people laugh harder at a white person in my entire life than when he pulled out that tattoo.
Beautiful.
And I saw him like a couple years later.
This is years ago.
I was like, oh, you still got that end racism tram stamp?
Because the one guy's just like ripping on him.
And he's like, he's like, what are you going to do?
Like, let us all come on it.
And so I saw him like a few years later and he's like, yeah, I don't have that anymore.
It encompasses everybody except heterosexuals who should all die, even though it's for procreation.
But we just, there's really no place for us anymore in our society.
It's just best that everybody have the kind of sex that doesn't allow breeding.
I've always said that.
What I don't like is when clownfish are also gay, because I feel that it's one thing if you want to be a clownfish, but being a gay clown is silly.
But if you do attach the rainbow flag to a clownfish, it just gives it makes them a little braver, takes the clowniness away, and you realize it's not so silly anymore.
And like it could be, that's why everyone knows finding Nemo.
Nemo didn't get lost.
Nemo had his personal experience to find himself after being rejected from his father after telling him he was into other clownfish, if you know what I'm trying to say.
So I feel like we lost the plot because it was too premature.
Like, Disney wasn't gay enough yet when that movie dropped.
If they made it now, it would just be clownfish in a human centipede line, or it would be just Ellen berating all the other clownfish and hurting everyone's feelings until she was asked not to be in the movie anymore.
Which, by the way, also one of our great gays in our country, Ellen DeGeneres, the horrifically abusive boss.
There's always, I think, a slight attraction you have to a lesbian.
I mean, like, you're not all of them, not the ones, you know, that look like Johnny Wadd, but like, you know, the ones that are sort of, you know, I don't know, the little feminine, you're kind of into it a little bit because you're like, I wonder if I could make this turn.
Well, that's what I brought you on for because I'll be completely honest.
I'm beginning to think, well, I never really looked at it long enough because I was heavily distracted by the girl who had one of Mark Loebliner's legs amputated and reattached to her waist.
IFBB Pro bodybuilder.
But the more I look at this, the question is: is there anyone that you would?
And is like, let's start with would like would or wouldn't.
Let's start.
I can't show the cursor on the screen for some reason.
And also, you don't know if she's a woman and if, like, all gypsies, she just grew an extra appendage because you know, they're grown in the ground like potatoes.
Gypsies aren't even human.
They're actually, they're actually uh, they bury seeds.
And three years later, once they uh, the town pushes the curse of their sins every year in a ritual, and ten gypsies are born from the combination of dirt and cursing of sin.
And guys, speaking of that, if this is not your thing, I got to give a huge shout out to our sponsor of today's show.
Undertak boxers are so comfortable.
You could wear them no matter who you are, even if you're a man in a dress.
But I don't suggest you wear these because these are not for people who want to wear the fruity fruit of the looms or these cheap boxers.
These are Battle Forces Tested.
These are a real American company owned by an amazing patriot who actually loved free speech.
He supported the show from the beginning.
He's helped us in hard times continue even when the fight has been rough, almost as rough as these ladies' nights out, if you know what I'm trying to say.
And when you go to undertack.com and you use my promo code Offensive20, you can get 20% off the entire store.
Now, what's amazing about these boxers is they do not lose elasticity.
That's so important.
So even if you're going through a phase, see, only 10% off, if you go to the website right now, you get 20% off with my code.
And the best part is they have different types of pairs for jogging, for running, and of course, even types of gear and shirt.
They wick away water.
They're high-quality material.
They don't lose shape whether you gain weight or you lose weight, which is helpful, especially if you're bulking or you're cutting or you're in a permanent bulk like Dave Landau, which is always fantastic.
These will always be there for you and will hug your family jewels in a way that keeps them secure but lets the heat out.
And the best part is they donate a portion of their profits to Veterans Group.
Go to undertack.com, UN D-E-R-T-A-C.com.
Promo code Offensive20.
Links in the description.
Get 20% off the entire store.
Check it out.
Be here or be square.
And even if this is you, it's welcome for everybody.
Check out the store today.
Okay, let's get back into this.
So, you know, it is really funny.
This is kind of where we're at, right?
I think we have this video here.
This has got to be one of my favorite videos.
It's from Rebel News.
This guy ends up interviewing these individuals who get mad at him misgendering them.
But this has got to be one of my favorite videos I've seen in recent times.
I guess we now have a clicker on screen because I turned it on.
I got to say this, though, but it's, but see, I don't like, I don't like the phrase gender is fluid because fluid can be a good or a bad thing.
Like, I don't need to get descriptive here on YouTube, but if I were to say a fluid squirt on Dave Landau's face, depending on the fluid, this could either be a non-situation or a lawsuit or a pleasure, a moment of pleasure.
I mean, it could be really enjoyable, that's for sure.
But yeah, it could be oil.
It could be all sorts of things.
It could be a geyser.
You never know.
But yeah, the word of fluid squirting on me, it could be a good or a bad thing.
I don't like the gender fluid either, though.
Like, it just doesn't feel like a real term.
It sounds like something's leaking in you and you don't like, oh, it's a gender fluid.
Like it sounds like it sounds like you've walked into a horrific murder and you're like, now make sure we scan everything for gender fluids and get them all checked.
We need to figure out we have to find this man who's been cutting off his fingertips.
I'm like one of the few people I know that made it out of LA without an STD.
And I feel like I missed out in some ways, though, because everyone says that, you know, like a lot of things are finite, right?
Things have gotten more expensive.
Things cost more.
And so theoretically, you know, to contract an STD probably involves experiences.
So STDs were a lot cheaper back then.
You know, they take more effort, more time.
Food's higher.
You go out to dinner, you make bad decisions or good decisions, depending on, as I found out, there's something called bug people who intentionally get infected with HIV.
I have this theory, which is like, which is where I think conservatives, which, which I know that you're not really a conservative.
I'm not, I'm not conservative myself, and I like conservatives, and I think they have a lot of good ideas, but I think they take the bait a lot on things.
And one of the things I think they take the bait a lot is like they write a lot of stuff, and it's really funny to me.
Like, they just go like, like, they're just like, well, it'll be like two in the afternoon.
And someone I respect will just like tweet something.
Like, sticking your penis in a butthole is not normal.
And I just go, that's insane.
It's 2 p.m.
And I'm thinking about lunch.
And you're sitting there and you're just like, penises and buttholes are not normal.
And like, that's, I really am, I respect that because I can't believe that's what you were thinking about at two in the afternoon.
Like, I literally was, I was thinking about getting a glizzy.
That's a little gay, but I, but I, but I, that's what was going through your head.
And then everyone starts arguing like, anal sex is wrong.
And I go, okay, sure.
But also you forget the LGBTQ community is almost all straight people.
Like, I'm not joking.
Who occasionally look at transgender porn, maybe?
But like, like, you're focused on butt sex, which is, which is really, really respectable at two o'clock.
I don't know why you're writing about that in the afternoon.
Like, go, your kid's crying in the crib and you're like, one second, honey, I got to write another tweet about anal sex, you know?
You're like installed by lizards and you live in, and you just say stuff.
You don't even have to write your script.
It's written for you and it's pre-programmed.
And you just go about and do what you want.
You can commit crimes.
You can like commit crimes against your own nation and you'll still get re-elected.
And like, you get what I'm saying?
And then even if you don't get elected, you get a job at Yale next year and an executive board ship that you somehow get $500,000 deposited every year from a WEF slush fund.
Like it's selling your soul is not as bad as people think.
I mean, you do get the power and you get the silly accent.
So, I mean, there's a win-win really all around to be like, oh, I like the LD, the old big LDs, D's.
I love them.
Yeah, this is a guy who shuts on an entire country and then had people gather around to watch him lay across a piano like a 1950s female lounge singer.
There's really nobody like him.
I've never seen a worse leader.
Well, there's been a few, I guess, Hitler, but you know, this guy.
morally now I do love it the way That's what I'm trying to say, though.
Is that there's.
It's not a bad.
Like people don't understand what's selling your soul like, and I have to say this genuine genuinely, you know, with having a demonetized YouTube reminding you guys that it you guys can uh, you know, really can support the show at elitashaf.locals.com.
We've been fully demonetized.
It's been really, really bad.
They've hit the channel recently with a with a discrimination and hate speech clause, which is shocking to me, because this channel, to me, I feel like, is we have an ally on the show, I feel like we're well, I feel like this channel is the opposite of what we get labeled and I just don't like the fact that we're told, oh, you guys are derogatory or demeaning towards certain groups.
When I feel like, when I feel like at this moment, there are three gay people on the screen now, which is like, how many more do you need?
Actually, there's like 61 holidays now throughout the year for gays, oh really yeah, there's even a pansexual parenting awareness, dick, Miss And Keister I don't know what the Thanksgiving's like I want.
Well, we have to talk about this because there's actually some very alarming things that go along with this, which I think are really, really helpful for the community.
As you know um, you know, things are not restricted enough when it comes to uh, protecting the gay community.
So if you thought things were weird, let's look at the Matrix and see where we're at.
Well, this is going to get really, really, really interesting here because I know that a lot...
What a lot of people have told me uh, recently was that they really wanted um, more protections for gay people, and that's what we fight for on the show right, is gay protections, because gay people aren't wearing the protection themselves.
So we have to be the condom for the community.
You, that was your standard, wasn't that?
Wasn't that your, that was normal world.
Your new show on blaze tv, the condom for the community, the condom for the community.
Except, I saw a fish got stuck in the condom a video and it was like swimming, and they're like bro, he's only been in the sewer for two weeks and he's already breaking out and it looked like the baby was swimming out with a condom anyway.
Uh, speaking of gay community, good news, everybody.
Good news, good news, good news.
Uh, while you could soon be jailed for three years for making an offensive facebook post.
Here's what you need to know.
Uh, before you even get any further, which country do you that is doing this?
I'm gonna go America close, it's even the one that's worse.
Dude, I had to turn on ads for this site or they wouldn't let me on here.
But Queensland is looking for all three-year jail sentences for bigotry.
Legal experts fear Hindus may be charged for religious display.
Religious exemptions exist in New South Wales and Victoria.
This story comes from the Daily Mail.
A sweeping law could see Australians jailed for three years for posting what's deemed offensive on Facebook in an attempt to protect minority groups.
Queensland's Labor government has introduced a bill that would dramatically increase the maximum prison sentence for racist, anti-gay, anti-trans, or seriously bigoted statements.
Making such statements already carry a maximum of six-month jail term, but that would be increased to three years under the new bill.
Inflammatory Facebook posts would be criminal offense with the legislation covering any form of communication to the public, including by speaking, writing, printing, displaying notices, broadcasting, telecasting, screening, or playing of tapes or other recorded material or by electronic means.
Posting a Nazi symbol on social media or carrying it around publicly will also prompt jail time.
Good news, right?
I mean, it's like, at least we're finally making progress.
And he actually has to go to the Human Rights Tribunal in Queensland for one of his jokes for targeted bigotry.
He's a trial.
And I'm going to have him on my show when he's up north.
He's going to come on my show to talk about it.
But he actually has to go to trial because he was targeted for his bigotry.
And this is where I think this is crazy.
Like you said, I know we've been really serious this entire show, but just a small flip of the switch of something that actually does affect people like you and me is we all know if the Xbox chat got leaked, we'd all be in jail in every country.
No, he was a Canadian comedian friend of mine, and he does his shows in French and in English.
And he had a joke that they had a Canadian's got talent sort of thing there.
And the whole thing was this kid won, and because he was very terminally ill, and like 15 years later, Mike's like, I don't think he should still have the prize because he's not dead yet.
And he had to go in front of also the human rights tribunal, and it ended up costing him a fine of like $40,000 on top of all the legal fees because he just made a joke saying, like, yeah, because everybody knew why he won because it was, you know, the kid who's dying and he's whistling well.
And they're like, this, this guy wins the prize.
It's a simple joke.
And yeah, he's a guy who, and he ended up fighting it and fighting and fighting it.
And I think they reversed it.
But you still, but you lose all the money for the trial, yeah.
No, but I was going to say, she was like, hey, so we have this idea now.
We're like, I have, I need to go to these amateur comedy hours and just start platforming all these amateur comedians as my sidekick on the varying shows.
We'll still have guests on.
We'll still have people on.
And then we'll just bump out the shitty ones.
But the best part is, and we'll keep the ones that are good.
And that can give them a platform.
Because I think that's like, if you're a budding comedian, getting invited on a show like this that has 97 people that watch is like a big break.
Let's look at something funny here For one minute, straight from, I don't know why I cut that off early, straight from the locals chat, you guys brought this up, which I thought was great.
Was your meme of the week?
I'd like, that's me in the green helmet if you're new to the show.
I'd like the porn in my room to be disabled.
And then the woman responds with, you, we only have regular porn.
I saw a, well, it's not a fisting video, but it was an amputee legs and using a leg to please another.
And I thought, you know, good for them.
Because, you know, a lot of times you're not going to use, a lot of times you might have somebody look at your missing leg and think that's not for me.
And then there's other people that are like, why don't you just slide that up in me?
And I think that it's important because sharing is caring.
You know, when we're talking about the way that people are honest about things, you have your show coming out.
It's called the normal world.
And you are not just making fun of the woke world.
I don't think there's any way to differentiate actually the difference between the stupidity on the right wing right now in the Republican Party and the Democrat Party and the world as a whole.
Because remember, it's not about fighting against drag queens.
It's not about fighting against transgenderism.
It's just making sure that your transgenders have guns, are into guns, and that your drag queens are MAGA.
We all are a little bi and none, you know, we just all were curious.
I'm the kind of person who would like to wear a bunch of feathery bowas in my hair and a white mask and stand between two gentlemen in a suit and say it's cool to bang 15 year olds.
How can you hate movies that were made in the 90s or like the 70s like Animal House that involve statutory and be like, that is homo or that is sexist and wrong and you know, and then now you're actually trying to pass laws where you're like, but what if it's a guy banging a guy?
And they're like, well, that's, that's very noble.
Milo got canceled for literally making a joke about his own rape.
I don't know if you know that.
Milo.
Yeah, he did.
Milo was literally telling a story.
From my understanding, and I might have the story wrong.
He was, he was, I guess the phrase, this is why I think the left is so inconsistent.
It's like the phrase always says, don't judge how you deal with your own trauma, right?
Don't judge how you deal with your own trauma.
And I think he was making some sort of like just a joke or like, you know, sort of like, like, I hate using the word coping, not in a negative way, but just sort of dealing with like the way he's learned to deal with his past.
And he got completely canceled, completely turned off.
And these guys go into court and are like, actually, we kind of want to like decriminalize statutory rape.
And here's my favorite part about this story.
And I do have a favorite part, which means that don't be the person that's a favorite part of this story because that means you've gone through some shit in your life.
But my favorite part about this story is that the fact checkers were like, no, it didn't legalize, it didn't legalize statutory rape.
It just like changed the criminal conviction from like a felony to like, and like you don't have to register on a sex registry list.
So it's like, you just don't have consequences, but it doesn't make it legal.
The weirdest thing is, is that my For You feed on a lot of my social media is like disabled people and like dwarfs and stuff.
And it's really challenging to me as a human because there are hot midgets.
I didn't know that.
There's some very, very, very, very, and I don't feel weird saying that even like as a married man or even in front of you since I know you've got a thing for me and you think I've got a thing for you.
Going digital with you, like I feel like I feel like it's a little bit like this is a little bit like trying bisexual for the first time, like since i've gone digital you know, not in person, like in person was just like a lot of articles written up every day.
But I think me and matters thinks the show is canceled and essentially it is canceled because I haven't even figured out what i'm doing yet is wait.
I I gotta say a huge thank you, by the way, to the locals community, you guys, to keep keeping the show going, and a huge shout out to our sponsor for today, Undertack.com.
Don't forget to check them out, the Boxers because uh, I have a bunch of new sponsors starting next week and and people, people supporting the show.
But this is like one of the most difficult shows to fund ever.
Um, because we we didn't just get hit for our content.
Remember, this channel got demonetized, Youtube did for being inside the capital so, like i've also had like the whole FBI investigations, domestic terrorism stuff, all that stuff.
Um, so it's like you are like like and, and then, of course, you know there's there's the slew.
There's a slew of the constant attacks from every single corner.
I think i've gone full circle, but this show is like you're both rhetoric and terrorism.
It's a.
It's a hard reputation to kick.
You know what I mean.
Like like, it's like oh, you're the hateful domestic terrorist and you don't know which one is like, more damaging to securing sponsors.
Is it domestic terrorism or like killing trans kid, like what's?
What is it that i've said or done that that makes it the most difficult?
And luckily, since i've left blaze, it hasn't been hard to keep sponsors or keep the show going because people have supported it and that's why I say a huge thank you.
Um, in the fact that it's been, you know we're doing really good and and and i'm really really, really thankful.
well it is i mean you have to it it sucks because it's it is dark humor but when you look at it it's what they blame Like, look at you see this guy's corpse.
And that's actually where I think we're going to end the show today.
That's a real deep line.
That's a real deep line.
I want to say, if you're new to the show, or if you haven't been around for a while, I will still hold to this.
This Pride Month, I'd like to bring up a memory of, unfortunately, not the gayest moment that I've ever encountered in my life, but the most disgusting gay moment I've ever encountered was when I was filming at the drag, RuPaul's DragCon in 2019, and I was interviewing somebody, and they had this smell on their breath that I just couldn't pinpoint, but it was like pretty, it smelled like stale putridness.
And I couldn't like pinpoint, where have I smelled this before?
And then they said, oh, yeah, I was just in the bathroom sucking off a bunch of guys and they were sploooging in my mouth, they said, and I just spit it out and came out here.
And I realized that I was wafting in the aroma of several strange, strangers, splooge.
It was also when you had those next telephones, so you could pull up and pretend you were an undercover cop, and then they'd all be running with their dick flopping out from under their dress.
Back, as we'll end with, this is bringing it full circle, right?
This is where we get full circle here, bringing it back to the good old days when you could just hang out with a couple ladies at the restaurant, nothing to do, nowhere to be, waxed, relaxed, moisturized, and having a good Pride month.
Happy Pride Month, everyone.
If you want to follow Dave Landau, you can follow him in the links below.
And he's going to plug his new show, Normal World, which is a sketch show, which we will watch a trailer of in just a moment after he plugs his stuff.
Yeah, and to bring you back to this, this is a commercial for the show that's coming out as well, which we're going to be good and actually show you something.
So let's go ahead and let's watch this amazing clip from the new show, or it's a promotion.