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March 15, 2024 - Babylon Bee
01:05:55
The One With A Cat

The Babylon Bee Podcast is back and has a cat too for some reason. They talk about Ben Shapiro not wanting you to retire, a Boeing whistleblower being found dead, and what is going on with Kate Middleton. They also make hard choices in Sink or Swim. Did we mention that Brandon brought a cat? This episode is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom: http://joinADF.com/bee  

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The Babylon Bees Podcast.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Babylon Bee Podcast, the only podcast that covers the news.
I'm Kyle Mann, the editor-in-chief of the Babylon Bee, and I will be telling you what to think this week as I whisk you through all the news stories that happen.
We're also going to play a fun game called Save or Sync, where we decide who gets on the ark and who gets kicked off into the thrashing waves below.
I'm joined today by Travis.
Hi, I'm the Babylon Bee's Travis.
We had a roll open.
We had a position open for Travis.
Travis's apply.
No Dougs.
It's the only way.
No Dougs, Steve.
This means you.
And I'm also joined today by Brandon.
Hello.
I am Brandon.
This is who I am today and forevermore.
Who do you got with you?
Well, I got a little transient that found his way into my backyard.
And not the usual kind.
Not the usual kind in California, but the fuzzy kind.
Say hi.
He's shy right now.
Oh, or say something.
So for those not watching the feed and only listening to audio, there is a cat.
Okay, you can go hide.
You can go hide now.
This has been my past week.
It's just kitten fostering.
We found two little kittens in our backyard just mewing, mewing for their mother who abandoned them.
Are they still with you?
Like all the cats, I mean, all the kittens.
The ones that we rescued, yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
What's the difference between mewing and meowing?
Travis, would you like to demonstrate?
Meowing is and then mewing is mew.
Okay.
Well, this guy had a sickly brother, and his brother had a weird, weird mew that was in between a cat and like a crow.
So we would hear it in the backyard, and we weren't sure if it was a bird or a cat.
Turns out it was both all along.
Where's the brother?
He's sick at home.
Okay.
He doesn't like eating.
You said had a brother, so I was worried this was going to.
Oh, I thought I said has a brother.
Okay.
The brother.
Yeah, he's not eating well.
We're having to basically force food into his mouth and he'll start lapping it up once the food's in his mouth, but he will not actively eat food.
So it's been a little bit of a process, I should say.
Death is a human right.
And now I have lumbar support and a back warmer in my chair.
What is the biological impulse of women to adapt, adopt small animals that they see the motherly instinct, I suppose?
I mean, there's an argument you can make there, but why are you saying it's only a womanhood?
Well, I assume that's it was.
I also like that there was no reference to my wife.
And then you said, what is the woman?
Well, you know, we all know how this happened.
Well, I mean, if you saw a bunch of kittens, would you just be like, eh, eat dirt, kittens.
No, I would walk away.
Like, me and my wife will drive by somewhere and there's like a little cat on the gutter or something.
And she's like, and she's like, you got to stop the car.
You know, we're taking this guy.
To stop the car.
And it's like, I'm like, I'm not stopping the car.
We don't need this cat.
You know, and it's like, you are the worst person on the face of the planet.
Like, you are evil.
Yeah.
Like, you have a moral duty to.
She said that to you?
No, I'm just saying is that dude.
She's like lecturing.
You have a moral duty.
Like, don't you remember the parable of the Samaritan, the good Samaritan?
And he found the kitten on the side of the road and he went, I will take care of this kid.
I cross to the other side of the street.
I said, no, I don't want anything to do with that dumb Samaritan cat.
Wait, no, it's not a Samaritan.
No, the Samaritan is the one who helps.
No, I know, but who gets beat up?
Just a man.
I think he's.
Just a regular man.
A regular man.
It was the people that the Samaritans didn't get along with.
Well, that would be Jews, right?
Just the Jews?
Like, he's just a Jewish guy.
Oh, so he's a Jewish guy.
Yeah.
So I'm like, Jewish cat, and I cross to the other side of the street.
Wait a minute.
That cat circumcised?
I'm out of here.
Look at that Jew mewing.
It's a Jew mew.
I saw Dune this week.
Have you guys seen Dune yet?
Part two.
Sweet segue.
Thank you.
No, I have not seen it.
I would love to.
I just haven't gotten around to it.
I would like to.
I haven't seen it.
Oh, this conversation really died.
Yeah, but I read the book, and it's a good book.
There are no cats in it.
It was decent.
Okay, so I want to say that Dune Part 2 was decent, pretty good.
I would say almost epic even.
Act 1, Act 3, great.
Yes.
But it really felt like some producers came along and said, you need to insert like three or four really dumb lines into this movie so that people will understand it.
And like somebody who wrote on the Marvel movies or something was like, you got to add a few Marvel lines we can use in the trailer.
And so they really stick out how bad those lines are.
But the rest of it was great.
So what's a good example of a Marvel line in your opinion?
I am Iron Man.
Oh.
It felt really out of place when they said that in Dune.
It is.
It's kind of hard to believe that this is real life and not satire.
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There is a good line near the end of Dune that is a little bit expositional, but it's a great line, and I don't want to say it because people haven't seen the movie yet.
Part one?
I actually don't even know.
No, I don't even know if it's in the movie.
I'm talking about the book.
Oh.
But there is a line that is very explainy, explainy, but it's a very good line.
Oh, it was the line, ah, I am Dune.
Correct.
That's the one.
That's the one.
The real Dune was just the friends we made along the way.
I felt like that was a little out of place.
But other than that, I thought it was good and it was fun.
I actually got really excited when I was watching the first act of Dune, and I was like, why do I not come to the movie theaters more?
Like, this is what films are for.
You know, this is great.
Because it is exceedingly rare that a movie that is well produced is made.
I think this is the point Travis brought up.
He said, well, because usually you're not seeing Dune.
Well, yeah, that's the problem.
So when you have the right circumstance, the right movie, and it's obviously a blockbuster event.
I mean, I'm nothing against romantic comedies, but that's not like, oh, I need to go to the theater to see You've Got Mail.
It's more, I'll wait until it's on video and watch You've Got Mail.
It's the only romantic comedy I've seen.
Have you seen You've Got Mail yet?
Are you waiting for it to come up?
I'm waiting for You've Got Mail part two.
I'm waiting for the newer link up link.
Yeah.
Stay tuned for our Arc Encounter segment when we talk about You've Got Mail, Doom, Sink, or Swim.
Is You've Got Mail in there?
It is now.
Oh, well, okay.
Spoilers.
Wow.
All right.
Speaking of spoilers, we're going to spoil what happened in the news this week.
What's in the news this week?
The first thing that happened in the news this week, in order of things that happened, is that the royal family faced criticism and stirred up conspiracy theories after releasing an obviously photoshopped picture of Princess Kate.
Now, are we agreed this is photo?
It says obviously Photoshop.
Are we agreed that this is Photoshopped?
Yes.
Okay.
But I mean, there's different opinions on whether or not it's entirely fabricated or touched up.
You know what I mean?
Wait, go back up.
What does it say?
Look at the kid's fingers, the sleeve of Daughter's arm, the zipper on Kate's jacket.
I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for.
I don't either.
I didn't really understand what this whole story was about.
I mean, I see there's little weird inconsistencies.
I see the kids have their fingers.
They do things like that.
Someone, some internet sleuth.
Some internet sleuth tracked down the make of the jacket and said, oh, this jacket only came in navy and white.
And so it wouldn't have come in black.
But little did they know, she did.
I just don't understand why it matters.
Well, it doesn't matter.
It's just...
We fought a whole war, so we wouldn't have to care about this.
Well, that's actually what the war was about was we want to care about only this.
And the problem is, like, every most family portraits that ever go out in all of history from Photoshop on are photoshopped.
So the fact that they photoshopped it doesn't inherently necessarily mean that she's dead in a basement somewhere or that she secretly left the family or any of these wild conspiracy theories that people are posturing.
So you don't think she was killed tragically in a car accident and then replaced by Paul McCartney?
That theory has the most weight to it, but I'm still not buying it.
The Beatles wrote a song about it 30 years ago.
This was the dumbest part of it to me.
They showed this Vogue cover of her and they lined up her face with her face and said, oh, they clearly cut it from hair.
And I'm like, there's a match of her face.
I'm like, well, it is her.
You could probably take two pictures of me and it would look, hey, that's the same guy.
I don't know.
A facial expression is exactly like a fingerprint and it never occurs again.
That's what I've been told.
But, you know, the thing is, it might be a fabricated picture, but yeah, I don't think it's hiding some conspiracy.
It's just probably like, oh, I look ugly in that picture.
Here's my Vogue face.
I mean, if she is recovering from surgery, then it is possible she's not in the best health or doesn't want to put makeup on or get ready or anything.
And that's understandable.
Just let's just note that.
I think it's funny that people are like demanding, we haven't seen you in three weeks.
We need a picture.
Proof of life.
I need a valid proof of life.
But she's not even holding a newspaper in that picture, if you've noticed.
She should hold up.
We don't know when it was taken.
Well, that was the dumbest story of the week.
Here's the second story of the week.
Parts keep falling off of Boeing planes.
And United Airlines has halted all purchases of Boeing 737 MAX 10s.
A whistleblower who was testifying against the company was also found dead of a gunshot wound in his truck.
Yeah.
After not showing up for an interview related to the legal case.
Yeah, so it was ruled a suicide, is my understanding.
But the timing makes it suspicious.
Obviously, I'm not a CSI agent.
I wasn't there, so I don't know if it was suspicious or not.
But it's pretty suspicious.
Travis, we are a podcast on the internet.
Our job is to tell people our definitive take of exactly what happened so they know what to believe.
Okay, so he was murdered for a conspiracy, but it was that he killed JFK.
Tracks.
It's a coincidence that he also worked for Boeing.
It says parts keep falling off of Boeing planes.
How many times does it happen?
Like twice?
Three times?
What do I hear for?
There was that crazy one of the tire that came off.
Well, and there was that exit door that flew off the thing.
Well, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those are the two I can think of.
That's what it says.
Sure.
They keep falling off of planes.
Let me tell you this.
Two is too much.
Well, I agree.
I don't like want parts to fall off planes.
How many times has this happened?
Too many.
Too many.
Not even, hashtag not even once.
We're going to start the new movement.
Parts falling off of planes.
Not even once.
There has certainly been more than two stories about it.
So this guy retired, but Ben Shapiro doesn't want you to retire ever.
Ever in my entire life?
He said, no one in the United States should be, no one in the United States should be retiring at 65 years old.
Frankly, I think retirement itself is a stupid idea unless you have some sort of health problem.
Inspirational quote by Ben Shapiro.
And then you clarified on X, formerly known as Twitter.
Yes, if you are mentally and physically healthy, taxpayers should not pay you to retire at 65.
When Social Security was created, life expectancy was 64.
Today, it's 78.
Also, people require a purpose.
If you can retire and find a purpose, go for it.
For many, that's a bad idea.
And then he goes, yesterday, I apparently broke the internet with a hot and spicy subject of Social Security and retirement.
Today I broke down what are actually two separate arguments that many are correctly, incorrectly complaining.
Number one, Social Security is a Ponzi scheme that is 100% going to bankrupt the country.
Number two, it's a free country.
If you have the money to retire and you want to, that's your choice.
But work is a large part of a fulfilling and personal life.
And retirement, as we know it today, sending the elderly up to pastor to with her way is not how we were created to live.
So I guess people got really mad at Ben Shapiro because they're looking at him as sitting on an iron throne, separated from the common people and going, well, it must be nice to be a podcaster.
I'm going to be flipping burgers until I'm 80 if you don't let me retire at 65.
It's also the ever-present popularity of Social Security programs and the sense of entitlement that such entitlement programs developed.
Surprising that an entitlement program brought about entitlement.
I personally agree 100%.
I think Social Security is a major pillar of rot in our society that needs to be excised immediately.
You sound pretty entitled to be talking about those entitlement programs that way.
I just think conservatives have this way of stepping on a bunch of rigs publicly.
Yeah.
It's the sideshow Bob thing.
Yeah.
They're like, I mean, but you shouldn't retire, you new poor people.
Yeah.
Well, I think the only reason this became a big deal for him was because it was a throwaway line in his podcast and then he moved on and then he had to kind of clarify and explain.
But again, it also comes back to the popularity and people feeling like they paid into it, therefore they're owed it, when in reality, they're not getting back what they paid for.
They're getting back China's money and increasing our debt to China.
China.
To China.
I miss the way he said China.
Yeah, I think we all do.
So I just feel like there's more important things to fight about right now.
But I agree that he breaks it down into the two arguments.
Social Security is obviously a Ponzi scheme.
It's obviously never going to pay out.
And it's one of the primary driving factors of our debt, of our national debt, which is exceedingly, exceedingly, disgustingly overweight, just like the country.
Gross.
So obviously you said you agree 100%.
I'm probably more like 90%.
Because I agree with his concept that people shouldn't basically be feeling like they're owed retirement.
But the idea, like this isn't just a conservative thing.
This is left-right thing.
Whereas some people can get so entrenched in their job and they think that's where all their purpose comes from.
That's depressing.
I think.
I disagree with that, but I also think.
I mean, I would say what his point is that people are not meant to just sit around in idle luxury with another 20 years to their life.
Yeah.
When the retirement age was set for 65, people died at like 65.
So it's like, you're going to die, so you don't have to work now.
Right.
But now it's like, okay, you don't have to work and you can continue to do nothing for 20 years.
It's really convenient back then because your retirement party and your funeral were on the same day.
You combined it all into one.
Save some money that way.
Save money and you got an entitlement program.
Which is nice.
You got the gold watch and then immediately.
So I may not agree 100%.
I tend to speak hyperbolically if you haven't noticed.
I haven't noticed.
I've taken you literally every time you've spoken.
I think there is a philosophical point to be made about the purpose of human life and that, yeah, you know, just being idle for 20 years isn't a good thing necessarily.
But also, that's not what people usually mean by retire.
A lot of times it's like I'm quitting my normal job that I've worked my career for 40 years.
And now I'm going to go do something else with my life that's a little more chill or a little more end-of-life type.
I believe he clarified that later on.
I think he would say, oh, that's acceptable.
It's more of the, I'm expected to live on based off what I've paid into the system.
I'm expected to live on this the rest of my life versus I'm retiring from my primary career and focusing on things that are whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Folks, this really upsets me.
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And now, the meme of the week.
The Clinton Foundation announces that they're helping Haiti.
This is a small domino that this slightly balding man in a polo shirt is flicking over.
And then this chain of dominoes goes up to a much larger domino that falls over.
A warlord named Barbecue takes over the country.
Is the barbecue a reference to just the fact that he set people on fire?
No, that's his name.
Or was it a reference to what happens after their bodies have been cooked by the same thing?
He's not a cannibal, right?
I don't know.
I'm going to think with the name of the body.
Well, I mean, they're having trouble with cannibals in Haiti right now.
His parents really set him up for failure by naming him barbecue.
Well, I wonder if that's a nickname anyway, or if, you know, it's not a nickname we gave him.
His name is Jimmy Charizare.
Jimmy Barbecue Charizare.
Cherizier.
Charizard.
Charizier.
Yes.
Evolves from Charizard in the EX evolution.
Also called Babacu.
But he's not a cannibal himself, is he?
I don't know.
With a name like BBQ, you'd think.
Gang War with G-PEP.
We're going to find out right now by going straight to Wikipedia the most reliable resource in a gang war between Barbecue's gang and Corn Pop's gang.
Well, Corn Pops are right there no longer with us.
It says he has denied that his nickname Babaqueu or BBQ came from accusations of his setting up people on fire.
Instead, he says it was from his mother having been a fried chicken street vendor.
Why would you get a nickname because your mother did something?
But also a thing that's not the thing that he's named after.
Yeah.
He's like, the fact that I set people on fire at Monday's barbecue is just a coincidence.
It's a pure coincidence.
It's the fact that my mother once did something that was cooking.
Another form of cooking is barbecue.
Yeah, they're not calling him fried chicken.
Yeah, or frying oil.
Frying oil.
Little barbecue boy.
Come over here, little barbecue boy.
I mean, but on the other hand, if he was going to just kind of be dismissive of the nickname, you think he'd be like, oh, no, it's because I barbecue a mean burger.
But instead, he comes out with like, oh, my mom used to fry chicken.
That's just weird.
It's weird.
It is a little weird.
But, you know, warlords aren't known for their brilliance.
It's true.
Now we're going to play a game called save or sink.
So the scenario here in this game that I invented late last night is that we are climbing onto Noah's Ark.
Okay.
That's what you do when the flood waters rise.
Well, yeah, you want to get on the only thing.
Like a center.
Well, we didn't get invited.
Yeah.
Or we weren't, we didn't go up the main ramp.
So the doors closed.
We were climbing up.
There's like a ladder, there's a- Okay, so we're, Noah and his family are a thing in this hypothetical scenario.
Yeah, yeah.
And we are just like, oh, we're also getting on.
I'm thinking of climbing up for salvation.
And you're climbing onto the ark.
He's climbing down, though.
What does that tell us?
Oh, that was the cat.
Okay.
Sorry.
So we're climbing up and you only have time to pick up one of these two things in each of these scenarios.
Okay.
Carry it.
I like the idea of I'm just reading the first one and pick up one of these two things.
Yes.
And the other one you must leave behind.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what is the first hypothetical scenario?
Sophie's choice, if you will.
C.S. Lewis or J.R. or Tolkien.
Starting with the easy ones, huh?
Yeah.
Which one do you save and which one do you sink?
Oh, man.
Wow.
Well, I would save Tolkien for obvious reasons.
Well, I don't think it's that obvious.
Well, because Lord of the Rings is a much more rich and deeper work than the Chronicles of Narnia.
Yeah, I said it.
I agree that The Lord of the Rings I like is a deeper work than Chronicles of Narnia, but what I can't discount is C.S. Lewis' other works.
But you have to choose one.
And for that reason, I'm choosing to save C.S. Lewis.
Interesting.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a second.
So are we assuming their entire library has been completed already and we're just saving the man?
Because if Lord of the Rings already exist, maybe I will save C.S. Lewis.
Because if their books already exist, I'm not saving either of them.
We got what we needed.
Well, C.S. Lewis was, I think, slightly thinner, so I could probably lift him.
The idea is that then they never existed.
Because they drowned.
And then they never existed at all.
That's how the flood works.
So once they're in the same case, they disappear from their former photographs.
Yes.
They disappear.
This is a really tough one for me.
I think I would have to save Tolkien.
And sorry, Clive, Staples.
So, by majority consensus, it is written.
Tolkien made it onto the ark.
And Lewis is dead.
Lord of the Rings is just so formative for my life, but so was Lewis.
Like, mere Christianity, I think, made me think deeper about faith.
And I never thought about it that way before.
Maybe Lewis.
Well, you have to take that right now.
I kicked Tolkien down.
I'm like, never mind.
What goes wrong?
I'm going to, I'm going to say.
You're going to save Lewis?
Well, I don't have Aslan tattooed on my arm.
I'm going to save Tolkien.
Oh, that's actually Zelda.
I don't have Aslan tattooed on my arm.
You could.
I actually could do that.
Yeah.
So, side topic, have you thought about getting Aslan tattooed on your arm or your chest, like barrel-chested?
I wouldn't get Aslan.
Oh, you know what?
I might get Reap a cheap.
Oh, okay.
Going over the wave to get to Aslan's country.
That'd be kind of cool.
That would be dope.
I have a friend with an Aslan tattoo.
Really?
He also has a Tigger tattoo.
So you also have a Watchworth.
A Tigger tattoo.
Have you ever thought about getting a Dune tattoo?
I never, never seriously considered it, no.
Like, it would just be a circle, and you go, look, it's a sand planet.
Like, just like just the little dot.
Oh, that's Arakas.
That's right.
Just choose a mole that you have.
This is Arakas.
This is Arrakis.
To scale.
All right.
The next one is jelly beans or starbursts.
Easy.
Starburst.
Save.
Okay.
So you.
But I like how in this scenario, we have the ability to carry C.S. Lewis or Tolkien.
But we have to choose between jelly beans or a starburst.
Like a wife over the threshold.
That's how you're carrying them up a ladder.
So is it like a giant bag of jelly beans and starburst?
Yeah, like a barrel.
Like okay.
I mean, technically, you're probably bringing the invention, like the recipe.
Yeah, like it never existed.
It's like the what's it?
The candy that they were trying to steal from the Wonka factory.
Well, after the flood was trying to steal one.
After the flood, everything that got wiped out in the flood will not continue on in human history, is the idea.
Starburst.
I'm saving Starburst.
That's a problem, and I'll tell you why.
You take a bite of Starburst, the entire room floods.
Just like in the commercial.
This is a good point.
So it's rather onto the ark.
We're safe.
So that was a trap.
This is a tough one for me because I think they're both terrible.
I agree.
And I think.
What about Starburst flavored jelly beans?
They have those.
Even worse.
I think I would take jelly beans because like at least they have like weird like butterscotch ones.
Even more possibilities.
Popcorn flavor, you know, the good ones.
You might find one you do like.
Yeah.
There's a couple good flavors.
I looked at this part of the notes before the podcast, and I already told Dan I would save jelly beans on his behalf because oh, you don't like it either, but I don't like either.
But well, I'll do this for someone else.
Okay.
Unfortunately, Dan is not on the ark.
Well, we haven't saved Dan yet.
I am.
And I chose Starburst.
So for friendship's sake.
But again, I don't want to flood the ark.
Okay.
Fine.
This is a real commercial.
Fine.
Someone remembers this commercial.
All right.
The next one, Settlers of Catan, the board game, now known as simply Catan, or Pandemic.
I wonder what Kyle's going to choose.
I know exactly what he'll choose.
I am going to choose to save Pandemic.
I will also save Pandemic.
I will choose Catan.
I've played more Catan in my life, and I enjoy Catan.
I actually enjoy it, but I think pandemic part of this is me overthinking it because I'm thinking, wow, it's the only board game now ever.
Right, it is.
And Catan, I think, has a bit more modularity.
And pandemic is, I mean, not that it can't be different every time, but it's always co-op.
You know, it's a puzzle.
It's a puzzle.
And Catan's like, you're going to have a different experience.
It's a puzzlement.
Another thing to consider is Katan, you can get more mad at each other and on the arc.
Oh, that's you might end up all murdering.
You might get cabin fever and then murder each other.
Less likely in a cooperative game like pandemic.
So breaking news now for our audio listeners, there is a cat on the armrest of Brandon's chair because it is trying to escape his loving embrace.
And he thinks, ah, you're just a cat.
But the cat's like, I need to get out of here.
I'm also trying not to sneak.
Someone show me allergies.
I need to get out of here.
No, no, you're not.
I've kind of been allergic to cats my whole life, but I got over it because you have a thousand kids.
You have a thousand cats.
You're like, well, I guess this is my life.
Murdered by a thousand cats.
You want me to take him out?
No, it's okay.
Okay.
Look at that cat.
The next question is DC Talk.
Hold on.
You guys got to see his little insert of his little face.
Let me take a picture.
The next question is: Brandon or this cat.
I'm not a monster.
I would choose Brandon because he's a human.
Okay, you can continue.
But this cat's very cute.
The next question is DC Talk or the Newsboys combined with audio adrenaline.
Combined with.
Like all the members.
So you're standing on the ladder.
DC Talk is on this side.
Oh, man.
And on the other side is all the members of the Newsboys and Audi Adrenaline.
And Michael Tate is standing right in the middle because he's waiting to join whichever team.
Newsboys.
Well, I think you'd want more banging for your book, so you'd go for both bands.
It's more mouse.
It's like the trolley problem, right?
Yeah.
Well, Michael Tate's the one in the middle of the trolley problem, and you're like, let me solve this for you.
I would save DC Talk.
So this is tough because I probably listened to more.
Well, I didn't probably.
I did listen to more Newsboys than DC Talk.
However, Toby McKeehan of DC Talk went on to co-found Goatee Records, which produced artists such as Relying K, Out of Eden, Grits, Nota Verbs.
Relying K.
I might have to go with News Boys and Audio Adrenaline.
And so for that reason, I have to go DC Talk for Go T Records to survive.
I got to go DC Talk, and I'll tell you why.
Because you're down with the DC Talk.
I'm down with the one who is known as a son.
But also, there are more good songs on the album Jesus Freak than Newsboys and Audio Adrenaline ever put out combined.
Hot take.
Hot take.
Send all mail to editor at babylonb.com.
Actually, it's podcast at babylonbee.com.
And then we will read it.
Who are you saving?
You're going to bang for your book.
I'm going to go bang for my book and get more variety of music.
Wow.
I think you had more variety of music within DC Talk.
Oh, interesting.
Than you had between the newsboys and audio adrenaline combined.
Our next one is a cat or a dog.
Well, this is tough because there's literally a cat here in the room.
And he's going to hear it and judge you.
Yeah.
Cover its ears.
I'll tell you, I'm more of a look into his eyes as you answer.
I am more of a cat person.
But if I'm thinking there are no more dogs anymore, it's like you need to get a dog to help you hunt.
Technically, this new one.
No, I already brought the dog kind and the cat kind of.
Oh, wait, then, yeah.
So, we're just bringing an additional one.
Like, an additional cat or a single dog.
Well, in that case, I'd probably bring my cat.
Or he just forgot somehow.
He's like, he forgot both cats and dogs.
He's got it on a checklist.
He's like, snakes, mosquitoes.
It's like the side.
Oh, shoot.
It's the side quest.
He's like, you're getting on the arc and he's like, oh, I forgot this last animal, but we can only fit one more.
Which one do you choose?
Secondary objectives, incomplete.
And there's a secret way that you can actually get them both on, but you have to build an extra stable first, so you have to collect 10 wood.
Is it too late to do that?
Collect 10 wood?
Yeah.
So he's deciding if he should load an old save or just finish the game with like 99%.
That's tough.
I would save the cat.
Well, for platinum, you know, I don't know.
Sorry, dog.
Cat.
I would also save the cat in this scenario.
All right.
The next thing we get to bring in the ArkSaver, Sync Sega Dreamcast or a Nintendo Virtual Boy.
Virtual Boy, no question.
Get out of here, Travis.
Well, no way.
The Virtual Boy was the wildest thing that ever existed.
It's so weird that it even existed.
I don't understand it.
It clearly came from the Nephilim and it deserves to be buried under the seas.
What games would not benefit from being displayed only in black and red?
And in what name a single game that would not be better if it was only black and red?
Sonic Adventure.
Okay.
Name two.
Name two games.
Sonic Adventure 2.
Name 3.
So Vector Man.
Remind me, was the Virtual Boy.
It was like red goggles.
No, I remember Travis.
But was it actually 3D, like stereoscopic 3D?
It was stereoscopic, yeah.
So it actually had depth.
Yes.
Okay.
I remember playing it at Blockbuster, but I just don't remember if it was actual 3D or if my mind just went back and made it 3D.
Yeah, I played it briefly.
I think both times I tried it, I was like, what is this?
Why?
I remember playing Mario Tennis.
Yeah, Mario Tennis was okay in that there was a Wario game.
The Wario game was the console seller.
Yeah, well, I think.
Didn't do a very good job.
I would save the Dreamcast purely for Crazy Taxi.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Crazy Taxi.
Crazy Taxis on GameCube.
Yeah, but in this scenario, it's Dreamcast or Virtual Boy.
And that's the Virtual Boy was made exclusively of exclusives.
That's true.
Every release was an exclusive.
Yeah.
And certainly Dreamcast has more, I mean, more variety.
You're going to be like, hey, I can play with NFL 2K if I wanted to.
Fantasy Star Online.
Yeah.
There's probably not like an internet connection during the flood.
Or a TV.
Or electricity.
On this hand.
Well, or an electricity, but the Virtual Boy did have its own screen.
And the Dreamcast did not.
So maybe if you're like, well, I want to play video games, period.
I'm going to get the Virtual Boy.
You had to plug it in, didn't you?
It wasn't like portable.
Yeah, but maybe every now and then lightning will strike it and then you can play it for briefly see the screen.
Oh, I saw.
Oh, Mario Tennis.
Whereas in the Dreamcast, it'll be like, well, I still can't play it.
All right, the next one is Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter.
I would save Street Fighter because Mortal Kombat is sinful.
I have zero stakes in either of these, though.
When I was a child, somehow we were allowed to rent Mortal Kombat on Game Boy.
And this was not in the general way our parents would have typically allowed things.
So I don't know how that happened.
But we played Mortal Kombat.
So I've played more Mortal Kombat than I have Street Fighter.
But I believe Street Fighter has better, superior music.
I would also choose Street Fighter.
Mortal Kombat on Game Boy is fascinating.
So where do you rent Game Boy games?
Probably the warehouse.
Oh man, remember the warehouse?
I do.
I mean, for people listening who are younger and like they're just talking about some random warehouse.
There was a store called The Warehouse and you could rent movies and video games.
Was it spelled weird like the where?
Air or W-A-R-E, I think, as in that is normal spelling.
Yes.
It was like the where house.
I don't know.
Yeah, it is.
It was like the warehouse.
Okay.
And they'd be like, their house.
The warehouse?
The their house.
It was something like that.
Yeah, maybe if they advertised like that, they'd still exist.
And do you remember renting games and like you had your save file on the cartridge and you tried to go back and get the same cartridge?
Well, I didn't do that.
I played statistics and realized it was probably not in my favor.
But I would always pick like a low save file, so they would maybe erase the first one or whatever.
I remember renting games and I would go to my mom usually and ask her.
But I was so afraid of rejection of her just going, no, we're not doing that.
I would just come up to her and I would mime playing with my thumbs.
I'd be like, controller?
I'm not saying controller.
It's just for the audio listener.
Controller.
And then she would just look at me and go.
And I'm like, okay, fine.
No.
It was weird.
So that's why you are the way you are.
That's my origin story.
When Travis is asking me if you can take a lunch, he just comes up and goes.
Lunch?
On the topic of save files and previously Wario.
This reminds me of a story from my youth.
There was a kid who was visiting and he what?
What did I say?
Just laugh.
Continue, please.
All right.
He was visiting from Canada, I believe, or some silly country.
And he was playing with our Game Boy and he loaded up my Wario game.
And Wario had this fun, fun, fun mechanic that on the loading screen where you're choosing your game save, which file you want to go into, there's a pipe all the way on the right that if you go in there, you turn into a bomb.
And then if you enter one of the game save files, pipes, then it deletes the game save.
Oh, nice.
And so he believed he was playing the game and he deleted my game.
What a moron because it was like a very fun way to delete it.
Because it was a very fun way to delete files.
So Wario Land 3 or I don't believe the first Wario Landalone.
Super Mario Land 2 colon Wario Town or something.
No, Super Mario Land 3.
Oh, that was the one where Wario showed up.
I think so.
Oh, man.
People are going to be mad in the comments.
Are they?
Well, I think we're going to have a lot of people going.
I've never played that.
At least Joel.
Michael Crichton.
Not the Joel from the notification item I'm watching.
Joel Berry.
Not that one.
Michael Crichton's Congo.
Is this the book?
It's Michael Crichton's Congo.
So yes.
Well, it's the book.
Still owned the rights and sold them for the movie.
Michael Crichton's Congo or The Hardy Boys number nine, the Great Airport Mystery.
I would have to say Congo.
I did like the Hardy Boys, but I don't particularly remember.
Like airports.
Remember that one.
Did you read The Great Airport Mystery?
I don't remember it.
No.
I've only read Michael Crayton's Congo, but I believe of the two, Michael Creighton's Congo is the superior pick.
Even if I had read the other book, I would still choose Michael Creighton's Congo.
I think I only read one Hardy Boys book, and it was one of the more modern ones for the time.
And they went to like a space camp.
And so on the cover, one of the Hardy Boys is like stuck to one of those gravity things that spins you around.
And he just looks like he's hanging.
Like, ah!
That's my memory of the Hardy Boys.
So I would choose Congo.
Michael Crichton's Congo.
Yes.
All right.
For the audio-only listeners.
Right.
The next one.
Not Jane Austen's Congo.
Jordan Peterson or Ben Shapiro.
Rough.
Not rough.
I would choose Ben Shapiro a thousand times.
I would take Jordan Peterson a thousand and one time.
Oh, infinity.
Well, I'm trying to think of their salvation and who's more likely to be saved.
And Jordan Peterson is.
Closer.
Closer.
But at the time.
But let's say it's like today, but also not today because the flood's happening.
Sure.
So like you're saying, you'd take Ben Shapiro so you could try to get him saved.
Oh, I said the opposite.
Yeah.
Oh, I think he's the same period of time.
If Ben Shapiro is definitely not a Christian, you might as well save him.
That's, you know, this is too difficult.
They're both going.
They're both getting drowned?
Yeah.
Okay.
I can't choose too much of a world level.
Ben Shapiro, the water level would hit him first.
I would choose Ben Shapiro just because I actually enjoy listening to his podcast.
Ben Shapiro, I'm your number one fan.
Ben Shapiro would be like, you should never retire.
And I'm like, come on, get off here.
Come on, Jordan.
That's a good point.
I want to, you know, go just make a vineyard and, you know, like Noah.
Vans or Converse.
I think I may have had a pair of vans or van-like shoes, so I'll just choose vans.
I don't have any particular stakes.
In like junior high school, I would have said converse hardcore.
Like I would have beat up kids who wore vans.
Oh, interesting.
Not really.
Did you actually?
No, I'm just kidding.
And now I've really grown to like vans, especially the slip-ons.
I don't have to tie my shoes.
You know, full disclosure, I've been thinking about getting slip-ons because I saw you in slip-ons.
I was like, I don't even untie my shoes.
I just slip them on.
I know.
Eventually.
I'm wearing them.
Have you seen Kyle's Rainbow shoes?
I have rainbow vans.
Rainbow vans?
They're like rainbow checks.
Oh, I don't want those.
Well, they're cool.
It's not a gay thing.
It's not a gay thing.
It's the flood.
This is the sign that was given to these rainbow check vans.
Yes.
So I think I would choose vans because they also look more like more variety in how they look.
Converse or just converse.
I like converse.
Nothing against converse, but in this hypothetical scenario, everyone's wearing converse then?
Well, I think there's other kinds of shoes.
No, there's only converse.
There are no shoes.
There is only converse.
Or sandals.
Okay.
And no one's going to be like sandals.
Oh, between shoes and sandals.
I'll stick with my sandals.
No.
All right.
The last extant copy of all the Seinfeld seasons or the last extant copy of all the office seasons.
I'm very interested in what you'll say with this one because I don't know the answer.
It gets wiped out of human history forever.
Right.
For me, I would choose The Office because I very much appreciate what Seinfeld did.
I love that show.
But I think even forgetting the last couple seasons of The Office, it has more to it.
I think Seinfeld sparks more joy for me.
I think I would save Seinfeld.
I like The Office.
I think it's a valid answer.
I think they're both good.
I do like The Office.
And it's got really high highs, but I think it also has a lot of filler and stuff that doesn't work as well.
So I'm going to save Seinfeld.
I'm saving The Office just because I haven't seen enough Seinfeld.
Okay.
That's what's decided.
If you save.
Yeah, maybe now, maybe in this scenario, you'll be like, I want to save Seinfeld because I haven't watched it yet.
If the feed cuts out, it's because a cat has chewed a cord somewhere.
The next one, you can save the Mona Lisa or the Starry Knight.
I would choose Starry Knight.
Okay.
End of.
Do I get to keep it?
No, it belongs to me.
Just thinking in terms of dollar value.
Yeah, because I'm not.
You keep it while it's on the arc, and then later it goes back to the museum.
I think I would save the Starry Knight.
It sparks more joy.
I would say...
So you're going the Marie Kondo method.
Yes, this sparks joy.
This is not keeping this on the arc.
What did you save?
Neither.
I don't care.
Wow.
But you have to save one of them.
Okay, I'll choose Mona Lisa just because you guys already chose Starry Knight.
But we outvoted you, so it's wrong.
I think I personally enjoy Starry Knight more, but I'm not enough of an, despite taking art appreciation classes, I don't care enough.
Do you not go there about art, period?
I like how a teacher tried to force you to appreciate art.
I know.
You still don't.
Well, it was a class on learning how to appreciate.
This is what you do to appreciate art.
First, this is how you beat it.
Is that how the class actually goes?
That's exactly how it went.
That was the whole class.
Oh, that's weird.
Because I understand the idea of like learning to appreciate certain parts of art and be like, this is this style or whatever.
And learning that.
It may not have been called that.
It may have been just art history.
I just love the idea of like, and this is a painting you will appreciate.
So is like an art appreciation test or exam?
Is it just a list of the pressure?
They just show you a painting and say, do you appreciate it?
And if you say yes, then they're like, pass.
Does this spark joy?
Not really.
Pride and prejudice or sense and sensibility.
You looking at me directly at me?
Pride and prejudice.
Sense and sensibility is a close second, but pride and prejudice is Austin's.
I probably care less than Brandon cared about the Mona Lisa or the Starry Night.
So I'll just save Pride and Prejudice because I liked the movie with Kira Knightley.
I will just choose Pride and Prejudice because then I'll have an opportunity to actually read it and be like, hey, Brandon, I get it now.
Or Brandon, you're crazy.
You can do that now.
You don't even need to save it from a flood.
Yeah, but that's what it'll take to get me to read it.
The next one is you can save the entire Dune franchise or the entire Star Wars franchise.
Oh, man.
Well, the argument against Star Wars is that it's become crazy, but also Dune became kind of crazy too.
Did it?
Oh, well, the books.
Yeah.
I would chase down and save Star Wars.
I think I would save Star Wars just because I have a stronger emotional connection to it from my childhood.
Sure, that's fair.
I don't have anything to say right now, but I want the camera to go back to me just because there's a cat behind me.
You still have to save a franchise.
You could have said that.
Well, I did already.
Wait, what did you say?
Didn't I?
Not really.
Oh, you.
Star Wars.
Sorry.
If both are equally corrupted, then I choose Star Wars.
But on the other hand, well, not on the other hand.
I just mean you could also answer it based on like, I'm stuck on an arc.
How many hours of entertainment can I get?
Star Wars has many more hours.
Like if you like if you're getting the entire expanded universe of the books and stuff.
Even Rogue Squadron.
Even Rogue Squadron.
Man, can you imagine if Factor 5 came back and made a Dune Ornithopter game?
Ornithopter Squadron?
That'd be cool.
I forget which game.
I may have talked about this in the podcast already, but there was one Star Wars game where in the tutorial, they're teaching you how to just how to dock, how to unload your cargo, how to pick up cargo, how to, and that was like my favorite part of the entire game was just space harvesting.
I just wanted to deliver fish in space.
And Elite Dangerous didn't deliver on that promise for me.
Yeah, I still haven't found a good space trading game where you're just like flying around the galaxy, buying and selling stuff.
That's what I want.
Rebel Galaxy is pretty good, isn't it?
But set in the Star Wars universe.
That made it even better.
That made it even better.
There was a Dune video game.
It was like one of the early RTS games.
You remember that?
Yeah, yeah, from Westwood Studios.
The makers of Command and Conquer.
The makers of Natasha Volkovo.
That's right.
Also known as Gina Carano.
It was called Dune 2000, and it came out.
Not in the year 2000, but in 1998.
There was later a 3D sequel.
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
I didn't play that one.
I played this one a little bit.
It had sandworms in it.
It looks very similar to Red Alert.
It basically just is.
Red Alert 2.
Yeah.
I need to play it now.
Oh, it's good.
You can download it for free, open source.
I would like to download this.
But first, we're going to go on to our next question, which is Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin.
So, this is a – now, this is a hard one because if you have to – I just like them both so much.
No, that's not why.
People like this would be why the flood happened.
I would, I would, I would.
This could get us in trouble.
Yeah.
I would save Joseph Stalin simply for the fact that he killed more people.
I was going to say if it's a pure number.
You could do a numbers game.
But then I was thinking, you know what?
I'm going to exert all of my strength and pull them both up.
To kick them off myself.
I'm not sure where this is going.
We could edit this.
And then personally kick them off.
I would probably.
Don't.
I would save Hitler.
End of story.
Because.
Our next one.
No, hold on.
Stalin is beefier.
So I think I could restrain Hitler if it came to them.
Because he's like, ah, the Jews.
I want to restrain.
Well, just based on pictures, Stalin looks pretty husky.
I like how you save him, you pull him up, and the first thing he does is flail and say, ah, the Jews.
And you're like, hold on.
I'm like, hold on.
There aren't Jews yet.
So maybe.
Okay.
Okay, the next one is a chicken breast or a nice pile of pulled pork.
And what you guys can't see in the notes is the chicken anatomy is censored.
Oh, good.
Just to help.
I thought it was chicken brost.
I would save the chicken breast because I feel like pulled pork is overrated.
And it's barbecue.
And barbecue is bad.
Well, here's the thing.
Especially as leaders of Haiti.
Yeah, Haiti warlords.
I like him.
I don't like the kind of food that comes from the Midwest.
I would save him, though.
Would you save barbecue or barbecue?
So here's the thing.
I could like chicken more, but this is a nice pile of pulled pork.
The chicken breast is just pretty average.
So in this case, I would save the nice pile of pulled pork.
I'm actually leaning that way too.
Here's the thing about the way that this is phrased.
See, so chicken can be quite good.
Quite good.
So can pulled pork.
But this specifically says chicken breast.
Therefore, chicken thighs still exist.
Therefore, I'm saving the pulled pork, and then I'm eating chicken thighs, which is a superior cut to the chicken breast.
So in this universe, the chickens that are on the ark, their breasts just disappear.
Eyes only.
They're like the KFC abominations from the 90s.
Okay, so the next one is the thing based on the classic short story novella.
Oh, who goes there?
Or Interstellar.
Oh.
Interstellar.
The Thing is what I would choose.
I also would choose The Thing.
You know why I would choose The Thing?
Because of the two movies, it's a good one.
I like Interstellar a lot.
But.
Travis wants to fight me today.
But I think The Thing is more foundational for like sci-fi, horror, these kinds of genres.
I saw him look into the camera and then sneak a peek towards me.
I don't actually hate Interstellar.
Speaking of movies that are foundational for the genres, Twister or Dante's Peak.
Is Twister the board game?
Like were you?
Yes.
Yeah, not the movie.
The board game.
Or Dante's Peak.
Much like Mortal Kombat that I rented too young, for some reason I was allowed to watch Twister.
Well, I think we had to get parental waiting for it.
That was my first PG-13 movie.
Yeah, that was my first PG-13 movie.
For dramatic weather.
It was your first PG-13 movie also?
Correct.
Wow.
It wasn't mine, but I also was allowed to watch way more than I should have.
I would save Twister.
Because Dante's Peak.
No.
Well, yes.
but also the movie.
And Dante's Peak I enjoyed, but I think it's probably not that great.
And I also, you know, you could just watch a volcano.
But volcanoes garbage.
Yeah.
On the topic of Twister the game, when Jordan, our video editor, when he first realized that Kyle was really into board games, he was like, well, I don't play that many board games, but I'm really good at Twister.
Do you think Kyle would play Twister with me?
I would, Jordan.
I would play Twister with you.
I would not.
Did everybody pick what they're going to save?
I did not.
What are you going to say?
Thanks for asking, Kyle.
I would save Dante's Peak.
Okay.
I like them both, but Dante's Peak.
Which one got a sequel?
Twister.
Well, it's not out yet.
Yeah, but it's getting a sequel.
There's no Dante's Peaks.
There will be.
I wish there was.
There will be.
There will be.
This time there are two peaks.
Did you pick one?
No, there are two of them.
Twister.
All right.
All of the Mario games versus Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time.
This one really hurts my soul.
This is hard.
This is actually a tough.
I think if you had picked one Mario game, it would have been easy for me to say Ocarina of Time.
This very much hurts my soul that there will be no more Mario games.
Yeah, same.
Same.
We all picked Ocarina of Time?
I still choose Ocarina of Time.
Yeah.
I can't not pick Ocarina of Time.
As much fun as I've had with all Mario games, as much fun.
Ocarina is both fun, and it was more of a storytelling experience.
It was more of an emotional experience.
Ocarina of Time.
However, what if you, because you saved the Mario games, you have Super Mario Maker 2 and you recreate Zelda in it as much as is possible.
I mean, you couldn't, but what if?
Try it.
Although, in this case, we're also losing Mario is Missing.
And Mario Teaches Typing.
And Mario Paint.
And Mario Paint.
So you no longer know how to type?
Mario's Time Machine.
Now I have no job and I'm unemployed.
Hotel Mario.
All because I wanted to play Ocarina.
But it's worth it.
Would you save an A-10 Warthog or an F-22 Raptor?
Which one would you love onto the R?
I suppose I would save the F-22 Raptor.
Yeah, I'd say the F-22.
Useful.
Would you save Chris Pratt or Zachary Levi?
For survival, I think Chris Pratt will have more survival skills.
You tame the dinosaurs on the arc.
Exactly.
Oh, I didn't even think of that.
That's a good point.
Zachary Levi could tame the chameleons.
Maybe not even that.
I would save Zachary Levi.
I suppose if I had to choose, I would save Chris Pratt so I could make him do Mario Voices.
Would you be saving Private Ryan or Hacksaw Ridge?
No, that's actually kind of hard because those are both really peak World War II cinema.
The peak movies for sure.
Hacksaw Ridge is amazing if you haven't seen it.
Best Christian movie ever made.
However, there is a human butt in it.
This is like nudity.
Wasn't there nudity as human?
I don't think so.
At any rate, I would ultimately do they had like a pin-up girl.
Oh, I mean, maybe.
I don't know.
I used to pause it on that.
That's why I remember.
I don't recall him.
I don't actually remember, but it's a war movie.
There's other guys who are always joking about human butts and stuff.
Yeah, human ones.
I would save saving Private Ryan.
I think the opening sequence alone earns it that.
Yeah.
I think just for cinematic history, Saving Private Ryan.
Yeah.
Stephen King.
He's sitting there.
He's like, Donald Trump is the worst thing I have.
Or Brandon Sanderson.
And he's like, worst thing ever.
Or socialism is the best thing.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I would save Stephen King.
Surprise.
We would just put him in a really secluded chamber in the ark and be like, just write books.
You don't have access to Twitter.
There is no Twitter.
Good news.
You know, it's funny.
He doves with olive branches.
He's like sending us these messages.
I just heard Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson as like their library, their complete works.
I didn't really think of the person.
I was thinking of the person, yeah.
So I was like, oh.
Presumably they won't be able to write anymore.
Or like, I don't know what point they're lying.
Obviously, I'm choosing Sanderson.
So Travis is the tiebreaker.
That's tough.
You hold their lives in the palm of your hand.
I have to choose who lives.
And who dies.
I would choose Stephen King.
You know, it might be okay because as Brandon Sanderson is falling to his death into the waters, he will still write 20 more books on his way down.
He's like, wait, wait, wait.
And they just all fly up into the air and you catch them.
But wait, one more secret project.
And he throws the manuscript up onto the deck.
You know, Stephen King is a prolific writer, too.
I kind of, if you actually compared them apples to apples, I wonder how many...
He's amazing.
Well...
King has written way more books.
Well, I mean, over his lifespan, but I mean...
But he's older, yeah.
Yeah.
And in terms of Sanderson is probably on pace to pass King.
Interesting.
Over his life.
I think, yeah, the rate he's writing.
Yeah.
Considering Stephen King had a several decade heads.
But King's like in his 70s and he's still putting out multiple books a year.
And some of them are huge.
All right.
Super Mario Brothers movie versus the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.
The Super Mario Brothers movie.
You saving?
I would save it.
I would save Sonic the Hedgehog movie just because my son likes it.
He doesn't like the Mario movie?
Wait, I was picturing the old one from the early 90s.
I think it's the new one.
Legim Carrey.
No, I saw the Super Mario Brothers movie.
Oh, that one.
Which Mario Brothers movie are you talking about?
The City of Mario.
Because this would change my answer.
I'll tell you that.
I believe that Super Mario Brothers from the 90s, I believe that was just called Super Mario Brothers and not Super Mario Brothers movie.
Okay, so the new one.
The new one versus the new one.
Okay, I would take the new Mario movie.
I would take the new Mario movie.
I do actually really enjoy the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.
It was much better than I would have thought it would be.
I'm choosing Mario.
Easy.
Would you save VeggieTales or the Donut Man?
I think I was a person versus a franchise.
I like Veggie Tales a lot more, but does this mean we're saving Phil Visher too?
But he needs to be saved.
That's true.
Well, he might be a Christian.
He might be.
I'm going to save the Donut Man.
I would save the Donut Man just for Demon Bread alone.
For Demon Bread alone.
Let's have Solidarity.
For the Demon Bread.
For Demon Bread.
All right.
We got a few more here.
Would you save baseball, the entire sport, or board games?
I feel like this is going to be difficult for you.
That's why I wrote it.
Board games.
I would choose board games.
You have to choose.
This is an interesting one.
This is actually more interesting to me than the ones where it's like this movie or that movie.
Okay.
Something that you personally engage in and have invested many hours of your own life into.
Or board games.
Or something you sit down and watch.
Other people do.
Well, I play baseball with my kids.
Okay.
Did you not know he also plays for the Padres?
He's a catcher.
It's true.
In MLB.
You can tell because of the mask.
In MLB the show.
Have you guys played MLB the show?
You can name your character and then the announcers will say it.
Oh, no.
So my kids will be playing and it'll be like, Samuel Mann with the catch.
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
I've not played a sports game since Madden 98.
I hate about Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
Does that count as a sports game?
It's well kind of a trick game.
What about Brunswick Pro Bowl?
I haven't played the show.
I played RBI 2020.
What about backyard baseball?
That's not true.
I was into Mario tennis.
Mario has good sports games.
The best baseball game is Ken Griffey Jr. Slug Fist.
I think baseball is probably more significant to the world.
And the passage of time.
And the passage of time.
I think I would be forced to say four.
It doesn't matter.
We've already voted to.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll say baseball just as a protest vote.
Sure.
Couches or silverware.
Do other sitting devices still exist?
I would say no.
I would say the only thing that exists is like hard chairs or stools.
Like no comfortable sitting implements.
Well, there's still beds, right?
Is there a bed?
Or do I have to sit there?
Yes, but you can't sit on it.
But I can sleep there.
You can sleep there.
I want something comfortable.
Silverware.
Is that cutlery or is that just out of silver?
No forks, spoons, knives.
Can I get silverware at the warehouse?
Where house?
I'm choosing silverware because I'm not a barbarian.
You're saving the silverware?
I'm saving the silverware.
Wow, this is one's harder than I thought.
I don't know.
You could still eat tacos and steak.
Yeah, but Noah's wife isn't going to make tacos every night for you.
Dino tacos.
Dino tacos.
She's going to be like, sorry, I made a casserole.
Oh, you didn't bring your fork?
You threw it off the earth.
Well, you can eat it like Ron DeSantis did.
I'm going to save couches.
I would save silverware.
Yeah.
So that I could have pudding and not eat it with those like Ron DeSantis.
All right.
Our final one that we're sinking or saving.
Electric lights or indoor plumbing.
Easy indoor plumbing.
See, I love electric lights, and as a video guy, I love lights, but I assume to go with indoor plumbing as well.
Yeah, I assume you could only go in and outhouse or something like that.
And part of that is I believe that there have been societal implications to electric lights that we did not foresee.
It increased productivity, but I believe we're also up at later hours that we're supposed to be.
Even though I'm a night person, I like being up at night, but it's because of electric lights that I'm able to do that.
You could still have like a really advanced gaslight.
You can.
So you still have lights in your house.
So you can still gaslight people.
There are some very advanced gas lights on the network currently.
It's true.
I'm going to say indoor plumbing.
Yeah.
I think indoor plumbing is the way to go because not only are you getting toilets, but you're getting water pumped into your home.
That's true.
You're getting tap water.
Also, electric lights are great, but without electricity, they're just sitting there.
I like this idea that there's like lamps down on the ground and we're climbing on the ark.
And then on the other side, there's like pipes and wrenches and like sink.
I also like Travis's idea that we're on the ark and so there's no electricity, but we have our lights.
I got my three-step lamp or whatever it's called.
All right.
Well, the flood has killed all of humanity except for us and everything we just saved.
So now it is time for hate mail.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
Here he is.
That's the worst.
We got a message from this person who says, thought you were funny at first.
Then I saw your real agenda.
Despicable.
No context.
No context.
Would you like to accept a message from him?
Block.
What's our next hate mail here, fellas?
Oh, this one is from this guy, but he's wearing sunglasses.
So you know he's cool.
Yeah.
So I obviously agree with what he's saying.
You guys would be funny if you weren't so religious.
It's like trying to combine comedy and hameroids.
Hey.
One of my favorite parts about this comment, it was on a video.
I don't remember which video it was on.
It was like on one of our recent, like the home.
Police, maybe?
No, it was like on.
Even funnier.
It was like on home defense or it was on one that wasn't religious at all.
And he's like, you weren't so religious.
And he was like, it doesn't mention religion at all.
I mean, that's where the core of our belief system comes from.
I agree.
It was just, it was a random out of the context thing.
All right, everybody.
Well, thanks for joining us this week.
If you want to support what we do, go to babylonb.com slash plans and sign up for a subscription.
That helps us keep the lights on around here.
The electric lights that don't exist anymore.
Oh, darn.
And thank you guys for coming.
We're going to go play some Dune 2000 with Cat.
You want to say something?
You got something to say?
Lisan al-Gaib.
Okay, bye.
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