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March 22, 2024 - Babylon Bee
46:31
The Acolyte, Squatters' Rights, Ghost Storm

Travis and Brandon react to the news about Star Wars: The Acolyte, the lady who got arrested for changing the locks of her own house, and that baffling Don Lemon interview with Elon Musk. They also brainstorm a counter-cultural fantasy series that is sure to be the next big hit: Ghost Storm. There's a banger, a bomb and hate mail too! This episode is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom: http://joinADF.com/Bee  

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The Babylon Bee Podcast.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to another exciting edition of the Babylon Bee Cat Cast.
We are here today.
Me, my name is Travis, and I'm joined by Brandon.
Hello.
My name is Brandon, and this guy doesn't have a name yet.
Yeah, so we are taking submissions right now.
We are, are we?
Yes, pick the name for this cat, for Brandon's cat.
No guarantee that we will choose that.
100% guaranteed.
No guarantee.
If only one person submits a suggestion, that has to be it.
I guess so.
It's declared by law.
Travis said so.
Okay, I already submitted a suggestion.
Well, then you, I guess we're calling him Travis then.
Yeah, the cat's name.
Travis Angelize.
Now should we be Travis Angelize?
So you made this Angelize joke before.
I don't remember where it comes from.
Okay, so we were talking about VidAngel or something.
And I believe you were saying something about how you were waiting for a movie to come out on VidAngel, but you couldn't think of what it was at the time because you had gotten hit by a bus.
So you said, I'm waiting for it to come out on Angelize or something like that.
Hey, really?
And then later that day.
No, This is a terrible point.
Are you sure you didn't get hit by a bus?
I probably did.
It's just no one told you and you just don't remember it.
I remember what it was.
We were talking about VidAngel and I said, did you watch that on VidAngel?
And you said, no, I just closed my Angel Eyes.
I think that's what happened.
Oh, man.
That's what happened.
What a weird story.
Yeah.
We should probably go back to the security footage to learn for sure.
It was many moons ago.
Yeah, but if we still have that footage.
You don't keep every single minute of office footage?
Not anymore.
Not after the incident.
Yes.
Well, so for those of you tuning in, please be sure to hit like and subscribe and hit the little bell so that you can be notified of further episodes.
This is if you're watching this on YouTube.
If you are listening to the audio version, then, well, hopefully you subscribed anyway.
If not, do that.
I don't think you can hit like on like Spotify too.
You can try, but I don't know if you can be successful.
Are we on Spotify?
We're on iTunes.
Maybe.
This is derailing very quickly.
That's not.
So we got a fantastic show for you today.
We put a lot of thought into it.
We're going to talk about the news that happened this week.
And we're going to talk about what Christians should be doing to create new and improved fantasy worlds in culture.
And then we're going to, you know, talk about some hate mail.
Awesome.
Well, by talk about, I mean read.
Okay.
Read hate mail.
Yeah, sounds good.
Yeah.
So without further ado.
What's in the news this week?
It's kind of hard to believe that this is real life and not satire.
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So right before we started this podcast, Travis forced me to watch the Star Wars acolyte trailer.
I typically don't watch trailers, but with Star Wars, I actually do make an exception.
But the reason I hadn't watched the trailer before was just due to pure disinterest.
And it's quite a transformation in the past few years how I've gone from a massive Star Wars enthusiast to someone who doesn't even care about what's coming out in the Star Wars universe any longer.
Yeah, I think I'm a step behind you.
I'm still mildly interested, but then I'll see like a trailer and go, that looks weird.
So what did you think?
By itself, in a vacuum, I thought the trailer was fine.
It's getting a lot of hate online, and I understand why, but by itself, without actually watching the show, it's hard to completely judge it.
But there is one line in it about like, it's not about right and wrong.
It's about who has power.
I was like, major red flag.
And I was like, what is this?
Well, they're basically admitting the quiet part out loud, which it's not about what's right and what's wrong.
All they care about is power.
And that's what the left believes.
It's about power imbalances.
It's not about being right or wrong.
I mean, but they would say that wielding power appropriately creates right and wrong, though.
Right, right.
So it kind of edges into the ideas of not that the show is going to cover systemic racism, but that's where you get that sort of vocabulary from, the idea of there's a power dynamic like blacks can't be racist.
It's also cultural power.
Cultural Marxism versus, you know, God-given rights and morality, actual solid morality.
Right.
And we, we all know that God is in Star Wars because Han Solo tells people to go to hell.
Do you remember that?
That's a hot theological take.
So I think the show can be, I don't know, I will reserve judgment.
I'm not holding my breath for it.
I've been disappointed by too many Star Wars shows.
I'm not expecting it to be good.
Sure.
It looks pretty.
Like the trailer, it looks nice.
It looks fancy.
There's lightsabers.
No white Jedi because you can't have those.
But there's Asian Jedi.
I'm okay with that, but I'm not okay with how it's probably going to turn out.
We'll see.
I'll withhold judgment.
Well, no white male Jedi.
There's a female white Jedi.
The Trinity from The Matrix is in it.
And she does kung fu in the trailer a little bit.
Right.
Which I like because I like The Matrix, the original.
Okay, so that brings me to another problem I have with it.
Carrie-Ann Moss.
Okay.
She's a person.
See, I do not enjoy these celebrity cameos in Star Wars any longer.
Jack Black and Lizzo.
Oh, yeah.
And that other dude, Timothy Oliphant.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
It's just distracting.
In the prequels, I think it was fine with Samuel L. Jackson and a few bigger names.
That was okay.
Now it's not even about the talent anymore.
It's not even about characters embodying characters.
It's more about just putting them in there because they're names.
So I was very much against Jack Black as much as I enjoyed Jack Black.
I like Jack Black.
Yeah.
I don't like Lizzo per se, but I like Jack Black and I like Christopher Lloyd.
But yeah, in that episode of The Mandalorian in season three, it's like very distracting.
And what's his name?
Kamil Nanjani?
Oh, yeah.
Well, he can.
It was more distracting to me.
It's more distracting than it is added.
It doesn't add much for me.
Right.
I agree with you.
So the showrunner for The Acolyte, whose name escapes me, she was an assistant to Harvey Weinstein originally, a personal promising.
I mean, not that anyone who interacted with Harvey Weinstein is automatically evil, but it's a red flag, I guess.
There's a lot of red flags surrounding it.
So, oh, her name is Leslie Hedland.
And she was apparently inspired to make something with Disney because she watched Frozen.
And she was very excited about how the devillainization of the classic fairy tale bad guy and how true love wasn't around a heterosexual relationship, but between two sisters, which at the time, when Frozen came out, I thought that was clever.
It was a clever dynamic.
I like that.
And I mean, as a boy that grew up with not loving love stories in all my movies, I was fine with that.
But it just depends where you're trying to end up.
Yeah, what your intention is.
Because as just doing something different, I thought it was clever.
But if the idea is, oh, we want to get away from these sorts of relationships because women are more powerful than men and shouldn't even be beholden to a man, that sort of thing.
It's just kind of gross.
There's an agenda behind it.
And the concern is even before anyone has seen the show that she's all about agendas.
I believe that that is probably the case.
Yes.
And that's why, again, I'm saying this for the fourth time.
I will, I'm not, I'm not, I don't have high hopes.
Yeah.
So high hopes was also the name of the Ametaville Horror House.
Was it?
Okay.
Great.
It was on a sign in front of the.
Why are you looking at me?
It's true.
Well, I believe you.
It's 100% true.
I'm nodding along.
They had high hopes.
So Elon Musk posted on Twitter, reality is actually crazier than the South Park parody.
That's what he literally said in that voice.
What was that in reference to?
That's probably in reference to the, there's an episode of South Park where the Panderverse.
Yes, I couldn't remember it.
The Pandaverse.
Oh, it's about this.
No, it's about the video quote, the villainization of the classic kind of fairy tale bad guy.
Yeah.
Oh, that too.
So I don't know.
I don't know if I'd go that far, but it definitely looks like it's headed in that direction.
And, you know, I still like Star Wars.
Oh, so do I.
The Phantom Menace is coming out in May for the first time ever in theaters.
And I'm so excited to go see it because The Phantom Menace is the best Star Wars movie.
Don't you agree?
It's one of the best Star Wars movies among them.
Oh, speaking of the best Star Wars movie, Kyle is not here today.
He is on assignment in Tokyo.
And so he can't say, oh, The Phantom Menace is terrible.
Therefore, it is not.
Also in the news, the Texas immigration law switcheroo.
This old classic.
So Texas is attempting to enforce the borders themselves since the federal government is being of no help and saying our job as a sovereign entity is not to be a sovereign entity.
So Texas is saying, yeah, let's continue being a sovereign entity.
And the Biden administration sued them.
Can you believe that?
Can you believe that, Travis?
Actually, I can't.
The idea that they would even waste time doing that when they're just trying to uphold the law.
And then the Supreme Court went, no, you can't do that.
They have the right to deport.
They have the right to enforce the law as it's written.
Yeah, no kidding.
And then a federal appeals court said, no, hold on a minute.
Don't do that.
So I don't really understand how that works with like the Supreme Court's the highest law of the land or the highest court in the land.
And federal appeals court was just like, hold on a minute.
So I don't really understand how that works, but my estimation would be that the Biden administration or the Department of Justice is challenging the ruling.
And while it's in appeal, they are putting it on hold.
So I don't know.
It's a strange thing.
I don't know why the president wastes so much time bickering with Texas when he can just go to Congress and if he really hates it, have them change the law.
Because I don't think it'll go anywhere.
Well, it won't.
Yeah.
But I mean, that makes more sense logically.
That's where you go.
None of it where laws happen.
None of it really makes a lot of sense because we have clear laws.
have a constitution that spells out people's rights.
And it's just, there's clear disregard for that.
So I don't think there's, you're trying to apply logic to the situation, Travis.
You're attempting to say, oh, well, they could just make the rules the way that they want.
No, they just blatantly disregard them.
Yeah.
That's true.
I mean, Biden's even boasted about that before.
Like, I'll just do whatever I want.
With the student debt relief?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
With student debt relief, which kind of he keeps bringing it up, but I don't think it's actually happening, right?
So I'm not sure.
Last I heard he was going to try to force it through, but we'll see.
Do you have student loans?
I do not.
Because of Biden.
Thanks, Biden.
Thank you.
Thank you, Joseph Biden.
I love you.
So, and those of you in our sort of sphere of influence that we control and propagandize and radicalize, you are probably aware of Don Lemon trying to start a Twitter show, or I'm sorry, X, the everything app, starting a show on X and then it getting mysteriously canceled by Elon Musk.
So half of that is true.
Don Lemon did start a show.
He interviewed Elon Musk for his first episode.
And Elon Musk was apparently originally going to semi-produce, like put money behind it.
And after the experience, he said, no, I'm good.
Which is not the same as canceling a show.
The show still exists.
It was a bizarre interview, though.
I didn't watch the whole thing.
I saw clips, though.
Yeah.
And I just, again, it's just baffling how people like Don Lemon can exist, how people can.
Don Lemon is like the actual picture of someone in a bubble.
He just does not understand anything beyond his bubble, and he doesn't get it.
So he kept pushing Elon Musk, for example, to do something about, quote, hate speech on Twitter.
And there is hate speech on Twitter.
People hate each other.
Who knew?
People hate people.
And Elon pushed back that, well, you know, none of those state tweets are illegal.
It's against the law.
It's against the law.
We will get rid of them.
So Don Lemon was really hammering him on.
It's like, but I don't like it.
Yeah, but it's going to lead to.
But if I say it's racist, then we must ban it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so I appreciated Elon Musk really standing up to the idea, though.
He's like, well, you're just talking about censorship.
And Don Lemon said, no, no, no, just moderating it.
No, not censorship.
Just removing things that I don't like when I deem it to be racist.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
And there were some other issues.
What was your favorite part of the interview?
Or was that it?
Did I spoil it?
Probably.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I didn't watch the whole thing.
I saw clips of it.
And it's just, it baffles the mind.
I just don't understand what goes on in that Don Lamon's mind.
Don Lemon.
So as we already said, the interview after the interview happened, Elon Musk decided not to go forward with the partnership.
And Don Lemon wrote, Elon Musk has canceled the partnership I had with X.
He informed me of his decision after an interview I conducted with him on Friday.
This interview will remain the premiere episode of the Don Lemon show on Monday, March 18th.
His commitment to a global town square where all questions can be asked and all ideas can be shared seems not to include questions from people like me.
That sounds like Elon's banning Don Lemon.
It does.
It sounds like, oh, you can't put this up, but then it went up.
So that's weird.
I heard, I'm not sure if it's true, that Don Lemon asked for a cyber truck.
Yeah, yeah.
So supposedly he asked for a cyber truck, like a million dollars or something, a say on like Twitter policy, things like that.
A share in it.
And it's like, you're just doing a show.
Why are you getting all this stuff?
Right.
Although, to be fair, I understand asking for a cyber truck.
It's just, can I have one, please?
Can I?
Elon Musk, can I have a cyber truck?
He's not responding.
Does he listen to the podcast?
In real time, yes.
The fact that he hasn't responded.
Why hasn't he called us right now?
We have like a bat phone, like a red phone in the corner.
It's the Elon Musk phone.
Yeah.
I don't hear it ringing, though.
Yeah.
He has microphones all around our building because he purchased us for $44 billion.
Yeah.
So what did the X business account say about this?
So the X business account says, X is a platform that champions free speech, and we're proud to provide an open environment for diverse voices and perspectives, including gay ones like Don Lemon's show.
That didn't actually say that.
That was in parentheses.
The Don Lemon show is welcome to publish its content on X without censorship, as we believe in providing a platform for creators to scale their work and connect with new communities.
However, like any enterprise, we reserve the right to make decisions about our business partnerships.
And after careful consideration, X decided not to enter a commercial partnership with the show.
But then a Mark Zuckerberg parody account said, any specific reasons?
Because random people need to know everything about a business's decisions today.
To which Elon Musk responded, his approach was basically just CNN, but on social media, which doesn't work, as evidenced by the fact that CNN is dying.
And instead of it being the real Don LeMon, it was really just Jeff Zucker talking through Don.
So it lacked authenticity.
All this said, Lemon Zucker are, of course, welcome to build their viewership on this platform along with everything else.
That's a pretty good Elon Musk.
I can't do the accent.
I can't.
It's pretty good, though.
You got his cadence down.
You've met Elon Musk.
I have.
A couple times.
I have.
Did you do that in front of him?
100%.
I never stopped.
I did talk to Elon about Phantom of the Opera and video games.
Did you really?
Yes, I did.
Well, did he like Phantom of the Opera?
He likes Phantom of the Opera, but he says, I asked if he likes musicals, and he said, I like musicals, but not when they sing too much.
So that's interesting.
It is an interesting take, but I mean, technically, not technically, but I think I agree with him, actually.
I don't.
Well, because then it's just an opera, which is Phantom of the Opera.
Correct.
Or Les Miserables.
That's just all singing the whole time.
It depends.
If the music is good, I would like to continue.
If it's not good, then sure, stop.
Well, that's true.
Yeah.
If the music is good, but it seems like there's a golden age of musicals like The Music Man, 1776, West Side Story.
There's just a whole bunch.
And there's always one song where you're like, let's skip this song.
Yeah.
This song is lame.
Which song was that?
The slow one.
Yeah, probably.
Near the end.
The love song.
Yeah.
Like the music man, especially.
I love the music man.
But there's a song near the end.
Oh, and actually, no, this song is fast.
I hate shaboopy.
Do you remember that song?
I don't.
No.
The only thing I remember about.
Shabupi.
Shaboopy.
The girl is hard to get.
Well, I'm.
For our audio listeners, I am beckoning Brandon to continue.
I don't know the song.
I can't continue what I don't know.
Have you sung The Music Man?
The only thing I remember from Music Man is that rap that he does.
What?
Oh, that music man.
You just saw 8 Mile and you're like, oh, that guy.
Have you seen 1776?
I have not.
No, I know.
Have you seen any music?
I have never seen a single musical in my life.
What else is in the news?
A New York homeowner was arrested and forced to hand over her home to some squatters.
This is insane how squatters' rights take precedent over ownership, property ownership.
So New York obviously is going to be a bit more extreme, but in general, squatters' rights being a thing is weird.
Yep.
I think this happened also recently in Washington, where a dude, he protested outside of his own house in order to try to get the tenants out who were just not paying rent.
So Andell Andaloro claims that the ordeal erupted when she started the process of trying to sell the home last month, but realized that squatters had moved in and brazenly replaced the entire front door and locks and not just replaced it, but brazenly replaced it.
She got fed up and went to her family's home that she had inherited on 160th Street with a local TV outlet in tow.
And on February 29th, called a locksmith to change the lock for her.
However, the New York state protects, quote, tenants who have lived on a property for 10 years and New York City squatters after a mere 30 days of occupancy.
The law was designed to help prevent long-term tenants from being evicted.
New York City's law was partially made in response to vacant and abandoned buildings that were becoming a blight on the city.
This is something, this is a weird part of law that I just, I cannot wrap my head around at all.
Why do squatters get rights ever?
It's like I sneak into a Home Depot and I have I climb up to the highest shelf.
If I stay there for 30 days, like, do I get to live there?
Yeah.
Like, or does it have to be a house?
If I sneak into someone's attic, like, do you just get to stay there because you hid successfully long enough?
It doesn't make any sense to me.
No, it doesn't.
What am I missing?
Travis, explain.
You're not missing anything.
I mean, well, actually, you're missing what would the Democrats call it?
Nuance.
Nuance.
Yeah, there's a gray area.
Compassion.
Compassion.
Empathy.
Empathy.
Well, because, you know, I understand aspects of the law existing if someone has lived there for like 10 years and they just miss a rent payment or something and then some sort of protection to allow them to make up for it.
They don't need to instantly be kicked out the same day.
I understand those ideas, but this is talking about someone just breaking into a house basically and changing all the locks.
And they're like, well, we can't do anything about it.
It's kind of like sneaking into a country and instead of kicking the people out of the country who came in illegally, giving them asylum and money and allowing them to vote, trying to get them to vote.
Oh, that sounds like a great country.
I should go there.
Yeah.
Where's that?
So they ended up arresting the homeowner.
And same thing happened in Washington.
I do not get this.
How is this?
How is this?
How is this real life?
Yeah, so how did, I think we either missed something in the notes or not, but I don't know why she got arrested.
For changing the locks.
So she changed them back.
She changed the locks of her own house.
Yeah.
And then they're like, can't do that.
Yep.
Hmm.
That's interesting.
That is interesting.
Wow.
Now I'm all upset.
Travis, why'd you do that?
Well, okay.
So maybe we should take a break from the news then.
Okay.
Sure.
And let's talk about something great, like the banger of the week.
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Banger of the week.
So the banger of the week this week, I know we haven't talked about bangers of the week in a while, but the most popular article this week was, confused by your husband's cryptic tests?
Texts.
Texts?
Texts.
Not tests.
Text phone messages.
Wow, I'm ruining this.
Confused by your husband's cryptic texts?
let the Babylon Bee interpret them for you.
So it's...
Off to a great start.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Doesn't that make you happy?
It does.
I am very happy.
I have a kitten in my arms.
Well, yeah, that makes you happy for other reasons.
So let's, you want to read a few of those?
Yeah, let's do it.
Okay.
So why don't you take the first one?
So if your husband texts you a thumbs up emoji, what it means is, cool.
On the other hand, if your husband texts you, K, it means, okay.
If your husband were to text you LOL, what he actually means is, I am mildly amused, but did not laugh out loud.
Well, that's probably the case every time someone uses LOL.
Possibly.
So on the other hand, if your husband texts you with, take your time, what he really means is, I don't want you coming home early and catching me on my fifth Helldivers 2 match.
Catching.
Catching.
If your husband texts you, do you know what aisle granola is in?
The translation is, I've been looking for your granola for 30 minutes now and I'm about to light the store on fire.
That one kind of hits close to home.
But on the other hand, if your husband texts you, laughing emoji, he doesn't write that down.
It's an image.
Then what that means is, I'm guessing this is the reaction I'd have if I watched the video you sent.
Oh, man.
This sounds like a terrible husband.
Well, I was just about to admit that I watch the videos that my wife sends me and I don't even react with emojis and it's a problem.
You just go, okay.
Well, I want to talk to her in person about them.
Oh, yeah.
And then you, yeah.
I can understand that.
But I need to acknowledge.
I need to be better at acknowledging things.
If your husband texts you, got it.
The translation is, I did not read your text and I will be calling in 15 minutes to ask you a bunch of questions you already answered in great detail.
I think a woman wrote that one.
Because that's not true.
Oh, okay.
When you say, I got it, it means I got it, okay?
Okay.
Leave me alone.
But if your husband texts you, do we have any band-aids?
The translation is, I'm bleeding to death in the garage.
If he texts.
Only in the garage.
Yeah, only in the garage.
If he texts, you okay?
The translation is, I know you're not okay, but I'm approaching you cautiously as though you were a wounded bear.
I think we've all been there.
Shuddering.
So with the band-aids one, that reminds me of a story about my grandfather, my grizzled old grandfather who- About how he died in the garage?
In the garage specifically, who lived through World War II.
But we went over to his house one day and he greeted us and his hand was bleeding profusely, like dripping blood, like on the floor.
And we said, Chinese equivalent of grandpa.
We said, yeah, yeah.
He just walked in there.
Chinese equivalent of grandpa.
Chinese equivalent of paternal grandfather.
Yeah, yeah.
What happened to your hand?
Why are you bleeding?
Do you need a bandage?
Let's get you a bandage.
And he was like, nah, let it bleed.
Get the poison out.
Wait, poison?
He cut himself on some garden tool or something.
He was like rust poison or whatever.
He's like, nah, let it bleed.
Get the poison out.
He sounds really manly.
To be honest, he sounds really strong.
He was a tough guy.
He was a tough guy.
I bet that's how Batman would talk.
Get the poison out.
Which unfortunately leads us to our bomb of the week.
Frowny face emoji.
Bomb of the week.
What's the bomb of the week this week?
Why do I have to read it?
Because I don't want to live with the shame of it.
The bomb of the week is Matt Walsh blasts video games as childless, pointless drivel after son beats him in Mario Kart.
The reason this is the bomb of the week is because it hits too close to home.
And Matt Walsh probably boycotted us.
He probably sent his followers after us.
He's like, don't look at this art.
Said, take away views from this article.
Take them away.
Puck them away.
So I wrote that article and I did the Photoshop for it.
That's why it bombed?
That's why you're ashamed?
Yeah, a little bit.
I didn't come up with a headline, though.
We all blame you, Travis.
It's okay.
I know Kyle does.
Well, I guess that's it for the website.
Yeah.
And the podcast.
It's over.
That's everything.
Because Travis failed.
Yeah, because I failed.
But wait, there's more.
Ah.
You want to introduce this topic?
You go ahead and do it.
Oh, I should do it?
Okay.
So C.S. Lewis once said, the world does not need more Christian literature.
What it needs is more Christians writing good literature.
That's what he sounded like.
So with that in mind, let's stop talking about creating culture and actually do it.
Make some good literature.
Good literature.
We're going to do that live on the podcast.
Right now.
Right now.
We're going to write an absolute hit.
So right now, we're going to.
Better than the Matt Walsh headline.
Especially better than that one.
So let's make a fantasy series right now.
The whole thing.
Let's go.
Brandon.
Okay, so you put the caveat, fantasy.
And what I was thinking of was not precisely fantasy, but fantasy adjacent.
Okay.
Maybe urban fantasy of sorts.
It's still fantasy.
Suburban fantasy.
Suburban fantasy.
Suburban.
Is that an offshoot of urban fantasy?
It is, but it's in the suburbs instead of the herbs.
Okay.
Now I get it.
So months ago, I was listening to a ton of writing podcasts and I was getting a lot of ideas.
And also a storm had flown in over Southern California.
And a lot of us were prepping our houses for storm readiness.
Yeah.
Trying to seal doorways, lay out sandbags, redirecting water flow just in case, you know.
It turns out it was nothing.
Like we got like a bucket of water poured on our house.
That's California.
But we were all preparing for it.
And as we were preparing for it, I was thinking, what if we were preparing for a deluge of more than just water, but of something of a more insidious nature?
And I thought of a great story idea.
Okay.
It's called Ghost Storm.
Is that all you have with the idea, though?
That's the working premise, Ghoststorm.
I kind of start that way too.
I start with a title and I go, that sounds cool.
Now let's do it.
So it's basically people that live in a universe that's every once in a while ravaged by storms of malevolent forces, ghosts, what have you.
And you have to prep your house for ghosts, for ghosts.
So ghosts are literally raining from the sky in this, or swirling around, like ghosts do, okay.
So um, with that in mind, we have a very basic premise yeah, but obviously, what are we doing with that premise?
Like, is someone just living ah ghost, and then that's it, or so it's kind of like we're seeing what a day in into the life of this established universe, where it's like, at first we don't know what's going on, but as they're prepping for things, they're like, oh, did you put up the ghost shield?
And you sort of learn a little bit more.
Maybe not as dumb as ghost shield well sure, they have a different name, but it's like they.
They line their windowsills with salt or something, something fun like that.
Yeah yeah, I could see.
That kind of reminds me.
Have you ever seen the purge?
It somewhat like the purge where yeah, they know that this event is coming up, they're preparing for it.
Yeah, so you prepare for the ghost storm by, you know, putting salt around your house, doing all sorts of things.
But then I did text.
I did text Travis, about that many months ago yeah, and we were, we were, we were brainstorming about ghost storm, but he forgot about it.
I did I, I forget.
Things continue.
What were you, what were you gonna say?
Well the, the idea is that you say, that's the usual, that's like the normal day.
Uh here's, the normal event is there's a ghost storm coming and i'm preparing, but then you know you have to put a different element, but then one day the ghosts break into the house yeah, or something like that.
That's well, that's obviously that has to happen.
It doesn't have to.
It could just be a weird successful background thing.
Successful ah, another successful ghost storm okay.
So I texted you on august 20th of last year, august 20th, and I texted you, ghost storm, is that all you texted?
And you responded, awesome.
And I said, a family rushes to prepare their house for a once in a year storm that passes through their town, a storm comprised of the deceased souls of the land nice.
And Travis responded, gross, what if it was just corpses flailing everywhere?
i said has it been done before travis said who can say and then we were chatting about the the uh the storm i was like how bad is it up up where you are and you said not bad at all we are at wendy's i'm glad you and you sent me a picture of wendy's oh yeah nice i said yeah when it gets really bad i might even have to go to burger king oh that is sad i don't know Which you responded, all roads lead to Burger King.
I said, Is that a metaphor for death?
And you said, Yes.
For the wages of Burger King is death.
What?
That was our conversation.
This is an amazing conversation.
That was our conversation.
Okay, so Ghost Storm.
Protagonist.
Let's talk protagonists.
Okay.
Well, we got to start with.
We want to do what?
Travis Angelize Woodside, the third.
That's a bit on the nose, don't you think?
The fourth?
That's what I'm going for.
Angelize, I'm okay with that.
Okay.
Is that a nickname or Angelize?
Dirk Angelize.
Dirk Angel.
Angelize is his last name.
It's not a nickname.
That sounds like a very pulpy protagonist.
Well, this is a pretty pulpy story.
Ghost Storm.
Ghost Pulp.
I'm Dirk Angelize.
And I've two days till retirement.
Okay.
So the antagonist, would that be Ghost Storm or is there some other more intelligent force behind the Ghost Storm?
Well, so here's the thing.
With Ghost Storm, the idea of a Ghost Storm, it's setting up like a disaster film, like Twister in a way.
But with ghosts.
Well, yeah, obviously with ghosts.
But I'm just making sure.
My idea, not my idea, but my point is that it's kind of like that's the setting.
The setting is the ghost storm.
Yeah.
And something else is happening around it.
So there could be a villain like trying to do something in the middle of the ghost storm.
We don't want to do something too obvious, like, ah, I'm taking advantage of this ghost storm to rob a bank because that's been done.
There was a movie called The Flood.
Or no, Hard Rain.
Where they took advantage of a ghost storm.
Yeah.
So is it?
Yeah, perfect.
Is it Ghost Storm?
I'm robbing this bank.
Christian Slater was in that movie.
Thanks.
And I think Morgan Freeman, oddly enough.
Spoilers, the bank robbery was not a success.
A lot of people drowned and it was terrible.
So the idea is we need to come up with something for the antagonist to do that's not as tropey as I need to rob a bank during a ghost storm.
But what is he doing?
Maybe he's trying to squat in that guy's home.
For 30 days.
For 30 days.
It's a really long ghost storm.
And only then can he gain entry full time.
Yeah.
Pretty good, right?
I hate it.
I truly hate it.
That's true.
I do too.
Yeah.
So, or there could be something about, you're right, the ghost storm could be the enemy, but then like, why is the ghost storm even happening?
What is causing the ghost storm?
So I think, yeah, that's the mystery that unfolds.
We learn why there is a ghost storm.
Also, you know what's interesting about ghosts?
I don't believe in ghosts.
Do you believe in ghosts?
I believe in demons.
Okay.
Well, sure, it's a Christian podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Demons are a thing.
But do you believe in just like the idea of ghosts?
No, no.
Okay.
I was looking for a yes or no, and I got the no.
Okay.
So for me, the idea of like ghosts is strange because so many people die throughout history.
Yeah.
All over.
And I understand the basic concept of, at least in fiction, where it's like, oh, some people are sensitive to ghosts and some people aren't.
But there would be so many ghosts.
They would be literally flooding everything.
Yeah.
Where would they go?
They'd just be flooding everything.
You'd see them all the time.
They wouldn't be rare.
So what happens is they all get bottled up into the atmosphere until it gets overwhelmed.
The clouds get overwhelmed and turns into, you guessed it, a ghost storm.
Has anyone ever studied clouds?
Like maybe clouds are made out of ghost material.
How do clouds even work?
Ghost.
Ghost physics.
Exoplasm.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can see it.
Yeah.
That's why sometimes when you look up at the clouds, they look like shapes.
It's not just like, oh, that looks sort of like a dog.
It's a ghost dog.
It's the collective ghost influence that changes it into the shape of a hippopotamus because ghosts, ghosts like hippos, I think.
I've never seen a hippo cloud.
Well, it was just an example.
I've seen a dog cloud.
I've seen a man running.
They exist.
I've seen them.
I've seen a horse.
Cloud?
Or just a horse?
Well, I have also seen a horse.
Okay, good.
But at any rate, so we got a main character, Dirk Angelize.
We got a setting, the middle of a ghost storm.
And we got, well, the villain is sort of the ghost storm because we're trying to figure it out.
But who is his love interest?
Who does he love?
I was going to say no heterosexual love, but also no homosexual love.
And you just have him find learn to love himself.
That sounds awful.
It does.
What if the wife he used to have, she died and she comes back in the ghost storm?
And he learns to love the ghost storm.
Well, for those listening on the audio, I am making a head explosion motion with my hands.
Does there have to be love interest?
There doesn't have to be.
That's traditionally something you would put in a story.
Not Ghost Storm.
Okay, Ghost Storm has no love interests.
Is there one in disaster films like Twister?
Well, Twister has Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton sort of being in love.
Sort of.
But I mean, Bill Paxton's like in love with this new lady and he's getting divorced from Helen Hunt.
But then the tornado brings them together and they're like, maybe we shouldn't get divorced after all.
And also there's that moment where a cow goes and they go, we got cows.
Do you remember that?
I haven't seen it since I was eight years old.
It's really good.
You should watch it again.
Okay.
Finally, we should probably wrap this up.
We got the basic premise to go.
We will write 100 pages tonight.
Sure.
But do you want to end with either we need a cool monster?
What are you talking about?
Need a cool monster?
The whole ghost storm.
Okay.
Okay.
How about just a basic subplot?
Something else going on.
Maybe with another monster.
I just like monsters.
This is tough on the spot.
This is really tough.
It is, but it has to be really.
I'm torn between trying to think of something that could actually work and just saying something that's funny in juxtaposition with a ghost storm.
That's not the point of this.
The point of this is to come up with serious Christian literature.
Yeah.
I think we're on our way with Ghost Storm.
So obviously a basic subplot is about him trying to get himself done in time.
Oh.
His taxes.
So that he can buy his salvation with the return he gets on his taxes.
So if you like Ghost Storm.
And you want to hear more about Ghost Storm, please let us know.
And we'll get on.
We may write this, Travis and A. We'll get a huge audio book going and we can get Austin to read it, maybe.
Maybe, maybe.
Or you can just read it in a Chinese accent, the whole thing.
Sure.
Or your Elon Musk impersonation.
Sure.
Sounds great.
Okay, great.
So with that, let's close out this podcast with some hate mail.
Okay.
Because, you know, hate mail keeps me going.
Me too.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So this was on one of our videos.
And someone commented, whoa, I didn't realize I stumbled onto the idiot channel where the mocking ridiculing of science, higher education, and various minority groups passes for witty satire, definitely pro-Christian and high in family values.
I will let you expletives get to it then, laughing, crying face emoji from Truly Dorian.
So what was that in response to?
It was one of our recent videos.
I don't remember which one exactly.
But I mean, I don't even think there was much ridiculing of science or higher education in that.
Unless we're doing like a vaccine joke, there isn't really usually.
We don't really do that.
I just love that first sentence, though.
That first phrase.
Didn't realize I still did the idiot channel.
Oh, oh, man.
That's so good.
Beautiful.
Would you like to rename all of our YouTube content to the Idiot channel?
That would be fun.
Pretty good, right?
That would be fun.
So that haymail was tough.
It was.
It was emotional.
It feels like scarring.
Did it probably?
I felt like I died a little bit on the inside and that part of me that died just got entered into this giant cloud up in the sky.
Yeah.
A ghost cloud.
Let's rinse that out.
Yeah.
Let's just rinse that wound out with a full, cool glass of classic article of the week.
Classic article of the week.
So this classic article of the week comes to us from August 13th, 2019, the past.
Six-year-old saying, why don't we just give everything away for free?
Surges to top of Democratic polls.
I love that picture.
Why not?
You know, it's funny to me because...
Out Bernie Bernie.
She did have Bernie Bernie.
I like Pete Buttigieg's face on this.
We obviously, we paid this actor to stand there and pose with these two politicians.
And man, she delivered.
That was real.
It was real.
That was before we could Photoshop.
We had to stage everything.
I wasn't even with the B at the time.
Neither was I. Wow.
Yeah, this is really old then.
But I like this one.
I think that's great.
A true classic.
It makes a point.
It makes a point.
But also, I'm almost surprised at this point that Democrats aren't literally saying that.
Why don't we just give everything away for free?
Well, someone was trying to raise the minimum wage recently to like $50 or something like that.
I'm not an economist, but I can certainly see what has happened to California with our minimum wage going up.
What I don't understand is when...
The inflation is crazy.
What I don't understand is when they have these wild proposals for what they want to enact and conservatives or other rational people say, this is what will happen if you do that.
Then they do it anyways.
And the predictions come true.
It's never heated.
Yeah, they're never like, oh, whoops.
And this is like, I was watching an old clip of Thomas Sowell from the 80s, and he was talking to an economist about, or no, he was talking to someone about affirmative action programs and saying, well, we just need to give it a few decades to kind of right the injustices of the past.
And Thomas Soule responded, yeah, well, we'll check back in a few dozen years and see where things have led to.
And that was a few dozen years ago.
And not places have not led to.
Things have gotten pretty bad.
I think actually kind of crazy.
What do you think, little Travis?
He's not saying anything.
Wow.
And with that, we bid you adieu.
Thanks for tuning in to the Babylon Bee podcast.
And stay tuned in the future for more episodes.
Maybe with Cat.
Look at that stretchy cat.
Brandon, say goodbye.
Bye.
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