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Feb. 6, 2024 - Babylon Bee
05:09
Hard Bible Questions From The Bee Subscribers

The Babylon Bee crew is assembled in a theology dream team to tackle all your hard Bible questions. Do you even exegete, bro? Let's find out. This is merely a part of the full episode. To get access to this episode, become a Babylon Bee subscriber: http://babylonbee.com/plans Full Episode: https://babylonbee.com/podcasts/the-babylon-bee-podcast/420    

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The Babylon Bee Podcast.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
Cheers.
Cheers, everybody.
Non-alcoholic beverages.
Athletic beer.
And root beer and all kinds of stuff.
Dan, what are you drinking?
I take back the non-alcoholic beverages, God.
The one ring of power has just jumped off of Home Alone 2.
It does what it does.
It has a mind of its own.
It has a will of its own.
It does.
Then something happened that the ring did not intend.
It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable.
I was just thinking.
I think the last podcast I was on was probably Austin Freeman.
It was that long ago.
No way.
That's not the last one you did.
The Lord of the Rings podcast.
Wow.
Well, you guys are seeing Dan.
That was a while ago.
It was a while back.
You guys are seeing Dan for like the first time in a long time.
It's been a while.
Yeah.
Wow.
Huh.
Doesn't he look fantastic, everyone?
It looks great.
The beard's coming in nicely.
Yeah.
The beard's coming in nicely.
He's more fit than anybody in this room.
Skin is looking good and healthy.
Nice and tight.
What do you do to your skin?
Do you have any use any products?
I just wake up like this.
Isn't it amazing that women have this skincare routine?
Like, they have a skincare routine.
You got to get your T-zone.
We've talked about that before.
Do you have a skincare routine?
No.
Do you?
My wife has one, and every once in a while, she'll be like, Jarrett.
Yeah, my wife does this.
You're getting wrinkles.
You got to do this.
You need to do the T-zone.
And she rubs this Egyptian oil around my eyeball.
My wife doesn't say, you're getting wrinkles, but she does, like, I'll say, like, man, you know, whatever.
And she's like, oh, you got to use.
Christina will tell me.
I'll say, like, you're getting wrinkles, Jarrett.
You're getting fat.
You need to, you know, figure something out or else.
She lets me know.
Well, anything you say here is safe.
It is.
Nobody will know about it except the four of us.
I think one thing I didn't realize when I was...
And millions of people.
When I was getting married, I don't think I realized the bathroom situation.
Like, I didn't realize that you're signing up for that.
That you go into the bathroom and there's going to be like five million shampoo bottles.
Lots of things, yeah.
Like every time you get in the shower, you're going to get crushed to death.
It's that serious.
If it falls off the little ledge in the shower.
My wife always tells me I'm using the wrong one or like, no, that's, yeah.
That's for light curls.
My wife just tells me, don't use my stuff.
I don't have to.
You use the one thing.
You have the Costco tub of shampoo.
She has all the nice stuff.
I think that's one of the great things about being bald is that the only thing I need is a bar of soap.
I got in the shower the other day and I was like, okay, we're getting ready to wash my hair.
I picked one up.
It's conditioner.
I picked another one up.
It's like curl frizzer.
Pick another one up.
There's no shampoo.
There's 15 bottles and not a single one of them.
It's like playing Russian roulette with.
Like, what am I supposed to do now?
You just pick one at random and you use that.
I just use soap.
Body wash.
Jarrett, how do you wash your wigs?
Do you shampoo your wigs?
Yeah, it's in the shower.
He wears them into the shower.
I actually, I've done many things, but that's one of the ways.
But usually I just grab it and I put shampoo in it.
Champagne.
That's that rich stuff that Guy Paltra uses.
Yeah.
Well, everyone, we're going to do something special today.
This is going to be a subscriber exclusive bonanza.
We're going to answer all our subscribers' Bible questions.
And we have 100% accurate knowledge here at the Babylon Bee.
So all our questions have the full authority ex cathedra of Pope of Protestantism.
This is the Holy Bee.
The four holy bees.
Yes, this is the Holy Bee, is what we call it.
And I apologize for the borderline blasphemy for our Catholic friends.
Yeah, but for us, it's not blasphemy at all.
We're also going to read some of our subscriber-submitted headlines.
This also means that if you don't pay the Babylon B for the privilege of being a member, we're about to kick you out.
Whoa, that's really sad.
So I'm sorry.
It's a little harsh.
If you can't become a subscriber, BabylonB.com slash plans, support what we're doing to make fun and funny stuff in the space and to keep our podcast going.
Keep the lights on.
Don't be excommunicated.
So if you don't subscribe, you'll still get the free podcast.
We're still doing those.
But once in a while, we're going to do a subscriber exclusive behind the scenes, and we're going to do that now.
So please subscribe at BabylonB.com slash plans.
And I think you can use podcast for code podcast for a discount still.
So give that a shot.
And if it doesn't work, sorry.
And then the rest of you subscribers, get ready to join us for Bible questions and subscriber bonanza.
Here we go.
You won't regret it.
Whoa.
This has been a taste of a special episode of the Babylon B Podcast.
But it's for subscribers only.
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