Kyle, Adam, Jarret, and Emma are back this week to talk about Tucker's new show on Twitter, aliens being among us, and whether artificial intelligence is going to replace your local megachurch pastor. This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: PublicSq on Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/publicsq/id1573823343 PublicSQ on Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.publicsq.app&hl=en_US&gl=US&showAllReviews=true&pli=1 Samaritan Ministries: http://samaritanministries.org/thebabylonbee Patriot Mobile: http://patriotmobile.com/bee2023 Allegiance Gold: http://protectwithbee.com In the ad-free full-length podcast, the Bee gang dig into bonus hate mail and all the wacky out-of-context things that happen around the studio. Did you know everyone has the same size neck? Use code 'PODCAST' to get 20% OFF becoming an annual subscriber to The Babylon Bee! Help support The Bee: http://babylonbee.com/plans You can also get 10% anything at The Babylon Bee store here: https://shop.babylonbee.com/discount/PODCAST
Tucker Carlson is back with a new show on Twitter, and the truth is out there.
Mike Pence has announced his bid to horribly lose the Republican primary.
Call this and moron.
The Babylon Bee Podcast.
Hey, everyone.
We're hanging out at the Babylon Bee podcast today in the Babylon Bee special studios at an undisclosed location.
How you guys doing?
Bubblegum.
Pretty good.
Sorry.
Anyway, I shouldn't agree.
You said it up.
I said it up.
Yeah.
Come on.
I haven't even said it in a while.
That's true.
You haven't given up.
Uh-huh.
Well, I'm hanging out with Adam Jenser and Jarrett LeMaster and fourth chair.
Yes.
Thanks for having me, guys.
Thanks for being here.
Fourth chair.
Wonderful to have you.
Emma's here.
Hey, Emma, how you doing?
Good.
Good.
Hey, and I want to give a quick shout out.
I was doing stand-up shows in Tulsa this past weekend, and we'd Babylon Bee fans come out.
Roger, Bill, Jackson, and Kelsey were all there.
So thank you to all of them for coming out.
Yeah.
And if anybody else wants to catch them, I'm going to be in JP's Comedy Club in Gilbert, Arizona.
So if you're in the Phoenix area, I'll be there tonight, which is Friday and tomorrow, Saturday night.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Is that JP Sears comedy?
It's not JP Sears.
Okay.
I'm just wondering.
It's a very special skill stand-up.
It is.
It's special.
I mean, you know, it's just like, it takes a certain special in this.
Specialness.
You have to be a really special person.
Like Adam.
Yeah.
Adam is actually, if you haven't seen Adam stand-up, Adam is brilliant.
Oh, thanks, Jay.
He's wonderful.
Yeah.
Very good.
And you can see him in Arizona.
Tonight at JP Sears' comedy club.
Well, everybody, you might have missed the Babylon Bee podcast last week because we didn't record one.
We just instead put out our Elon Musk interview.
So hopefully you guys enjoyed that.
It was a blast.
We had fun.
We put it out on Twitter.
It came out right before the big what is a man censoring controversy on Twitter, which we'll talk about a little bit later.
And one of the best parts is Elon, right in the beginning, said, I bought Twitter for you guys for the Babylon Bee.
I'm like, okay, well, that's all we need, and we're done.
That's all we wanted to hear.
That's the whole reason.
So rad.
And you gave him the IOU.
And we gave him the IOU.
Spoiler alert.
Yeah.
Now people don't need to watch it.
That was the only funny part of the whole interview.
So now it's over.
I'm so sorry.
And we are at Donkey Bicycle.
Sorry.
He didn't say ocean water.
We just create so much work for our sorry.
Dan's over there just rubbing his temples right now.
Undisclosed, undisclosed location.
And we had a fun shoot yesterday.
We had a fun video shoot.
We went to someone's house at another Grande Vista Street.
I don't know what it was.
And we shot a fun Bud Light sketch that'll be coming out next week-ish.
Yeah.
That was a great one.
That was a really fun one.
Good chemistry.
That was probably the shoot that I've laughed the third most at.
Yeah.
Really have him ranked.
What's the first one?
I'm thinking it might be the second most, but I'm sure there was one I'm forgetting.
There was one.
Okay, the first time we shot Cloud Barn Willis, you were like, oh, ours is hard to get through.
That was hard to get through.
That was really hard to get through.
Greetings, adventurers, and welcome to What You Tolkien Bout Willis, your trusted source for up to the minute Tolkien news and views.
I am Clogbar, the strong.
And I am Willis.
The recorder was the recorder that made it.
When you laugh into a recorder and break, it's like, just kill the whole thing.
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I think Calvin Asana was like.
Oh, that one was a lot too.
Calvin Asanta was fun.
Because you'd break into an Indian accent randomly when you're in the middle of the day.
You've been a good boy this year?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes, I think so.
Incorrect.
You are totally depraved, completely unable to please God and your sinful flesh.
The most stupid money toys.
You'll get exactly what you deserve.
Coal.
And if you don't repent, an even more flammable fate.
And then there's kids, too.
And the kids are trying to take it seriously.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel more of a Molinath myself.
Yeah, I felt like I was.
I feel like I didn't break much in that one, but it was like everybody else breaking because I started doing Indian.
You know.
That's right.
You were a pro.
The rest of us are a bunch of amateurs.
Yeah, it's true.
But I did break a lot in.
Oh, no, I don't know if I broke a lot, but the one that made me laugh the most, it was the most fun for me was the resurrection hoax.
Yes.
The takes are so high energy, and we were just screaming about people's heads getting cut off and shit.
Beloved disciple.
So, okay.
We go down to Jesus' tomb.
Sounds good.
It's really easy.
Then, we pay off the Roman soldiers that are guarding the tomb with their lives.
Why would they do that?
Then we somehow roll away the big stone that's in front of the tomb.
Obviously, you have to move the rock first.
Yeah.
And then we steal his body.
Yeah, I mean, I guess.
Then we tell the whole world that you rose from the dead and we get brutally murdered for our troubles.
Epic break, bro.
Peter, you rose.
Oh, okay, guys.
Okay.
And then what?
Then we all get killed.
Come on.
When do we see ourselves become exalted and praised?
That's just it.
You don't!
Happening!
In the suburban neighborhood.
That's always fun.
Yeah.
That's so fun.
We're boiling our heads in oil.
Stay tuned for that sketch.
It's going to be great.
Nobody will remember the Bud Light controversy by the time it comes out.
Oh, I think they will.
They're still losing money.
Yeah, they're losing money.
Targets losing money.
Coles.
I don't know.
Is there a specific thing with Kohl's or is it just that they're really pushing the?
They had like baby clothes that were like Trans Rights Matter and stuff like that.
So they're pushing the baby onesies.
Baby trans.
Gotta go.
It seemed a little less.
I mean, I know that's bad.
So I'm not defending the trans Coles people, but it seemed a little less in your face than the Target stuff.
Like they just sell a bunch of stuff with different logos, and one of them was the pride thing.
But Target definitely has the giant display with all the tuck-friendly.
Are we sure it's not just trans stuff for little people?
It's not, it's not like onesies.
I wonder if there are percentage of people.
What are the people who are onesies?
There are trans people that are little people.
Are there trans people?
Are there trans people who are little people who identify as big people?
Or are there big people that identify as little people?
Oh, I bet there are.
There's got to be.
What's the cutoff?
Myers, I think.
It just keeps the cutoff where you're just short and you're an actual little person.
I think it's five feet.
No, there's a lot of girls that are shorter than that.
Dan's wife is a little person then.
No.
No, because I always.
It's an inch above the cutoff.
I think she's like an inch or two above.
Because I looked it up when Dan and I were talking about it.
Oh, really?
I think it's like 410 is when you're considered to have like dwarfism, but for little people, it's a specific other.
Specific genetic, like it's a specific genetic position.
But I always heard growing up that Selma Hayek was technically a little person because she's only 4'11.
No, I think you can be.
Because there's a lot of girls that are that short, I feel like.
There's probably guys that are that short, too.
You always heard that growing up?
Yeah, always.
It's 4'10.
Travis.
Every day Travis looked it up.
Every day.
The sole requirement to be considered a dwarf is having adult height under 410 inches.
Dwarf.
Interesting.
Dwarf.
But for a little person.
Sorry I brought this up.
We're just specifically interesting.
Yeah, specific, like, I think it's called a chondroplasia as part of like the condition where you have.
Yeah, it's a specific category.
Hey, we've got news of the week.
AI-generated sermons and some particularly juicy hate mail in the subscriber only portion this week.
Hit like, subscribe, and hit the little bell to keep up with all our podcasts on YouTube and Rumble.
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And I do mean anything.
Except trans baby clubs.
I won't find anything.
It's friendly.
We should have tuck unfriendly.
Never mind.
There was an idea there.
I'm going to move on.
Fan mail.
No, let's think of more jokes.
It's everything else.
Yeah.
So we have fan mail from.
Jeremy boring launches.
Fuck, unfriendly.
We have a fan mail from Hannah.
What's the length cut off for when it's tucked?
Oh, Jeremy.
Jeremy boring.
That's all I'm going to say.
We have fan mail from Hannah.
She says, I wanted to note that your podcast, often on your podcasts, you talk to each other and you start to mutter or talk quietly.
While listening to you guys talk together is amusing.
I would like to actually be able to hear you.
You seem to forget that other people are listening to you.
You have been adding more and more ads, and they confuse me.
And I think they're part of the show until I realize they're ads.
Hey, Kyle, you and Joel did a great job on your amazing job on your postmodern Pilgrim's Progress.
I greatly enjoyed it.
Please, please, please make a sequel.
Now, I am not a Babylon Bee subscriber because I choose to save my money for college.
But I still greatly enjoy listening to your podcast and reading your articles and most especially watching your videos.
They are hilarious and so well done.
Hannah S., a homeschooler in the U.S. Hannah, thank you for ranking those and putting the videos.
Thanks for the constructive criticism.
I think it's very well.
Yeah, I was going to say, it's a car safe character.
Well, not to take over.
I know that last time, maybe.
The culprit is Dan and it's Adam and Kyle.
Because every time you guys, when you guys look and talk to each other, they turn away from the mic.
Sorry, Hannah.
They're doing a bit for you.
I'm doing a social on Sunday, and I'm doing Honda Casino.
Thanks, Hannah.
Have you ever been to the Diamondbacks?
I haven't.
No.
Do you like about the Diamondbacks?
I don't, but I'd like to visit all the ballparks.
Oh, how many have you been to?
I've been to like six.
What do you think, Emma?
Have you ever been to the Diamondbacks?
They're talking to each other.
Maybe we should start a little bit.
De Hannah will actually be able to hear us.
That's right.
Well, thank you so much, Hannah.
We appreciate it.
We'll take that under consideration.
What's in the news this week?
What's in the news this week?
Twitter tried to censor What is a Woman?
Daily Wire host Matt Walsh's documentary.
The head of Twitter Trust and Safety, Ella Irwin, resigned over the fiasco.
And Elon himself ended up retweeting the documentary, boosting the video tweet to over 170 million views.
Good for him.
So, yeah, Daily Wire posted a thread saying that they had tried to buy some kind of advertising package where every Twitter user that logged in would get an ad for this What is a Woman premiere, and then they would have like a special event page for it and you could stream it and blah, blah, blah.
And then they declined to do that ad package or kind of, you know, re-trans supporters cut off the package.
And they also then said, you know, in addition to that, if you post the video, it will be de-amplified and hidden and suppressed because it's hateful conduct.
They'll tuck it away somewhere.
So the.
Did they put proof of this?
They didn't post any threads or anything.
This is what they claimed.
Because that's kind of a lot to, you know.
Daily Wire would never lie about anything.
It felt like they're blasting Elon, who's taking over this, you know, nightmare-run company and trying to make something good out of it.
And they're just like, well, in your face, you censored our video, and we're not going to offer any proof for it.
I think Elon did kind of acknowledge it a little bit.
retweeted it and then that that well i forget what was her position it said up here What's her name?
Ella Irwin, the head of Twitter Trust and Safety.
She's resigned or left.
I think there's still other people at the company that are trying to enforce these old rules in subversive ways.
Yeah, it was pretty obvious to me that there was like people at the company that were still operating under old policies, but they were kind of tagging Elon like it was his fault.
And he's like, he was in China at the time and he comes back and he's like, it's the gif of walking in and the whole place is on fire.
You know, that was basically thing.
So, but we're glad that it was.
You can tell when you walk through who was like, like, did people hiss and like hide behind their desk on the Babylonians?
Did they know who you guys were?
Is the question.
We saw mostly nerdy male programmers that were just kind of like, we had a couple that said hi and they follow us or whatever.
And then there was just some people that were just working on laptops and they would just look at you and work on their laptops.
But it was a Friday afternoon, so everybody was gone, pretty much.
Interesting.
We did get to play Rooftop Cornhole, though.
Nice.
It's fun.
Did you drink mimosas while you were doing it?
They don't have the free alcohol there anymore.
No.
But they did have free lucky charms.
They used to.
Did they have an actual?
Yeah, remember that walkthrough video where that lady walked through Twitter headquarters and they're like a day in the life of a Twitter employee?
She was like getting wine on tap and like rooftop mimosas and cornhole.
Oh, okay.
No, I didn't see that video.
That's a happy employee.
But, you know, this is one of those examples.
He's trying to suppress something and a bunch of people.
Have you guys seen What is a Woman?
I have, yeah.
I feel like it?
Yeah, I like it.
It's like on Twitter.
I watched it.
You watched it before.
It's definitely, I think everybody should watch that movie.
It's so you liked it.
I did.
See, I found the beginning of it was a lot of sort of gotcha questions.
And it seemed to, like, the very beginning of it is him going around and just kind of confronting these leftist activists at parades and stuff.
And it's kind of funny, but it's sort of that like gimmicky on the lips kind of thing.
But then when it gets to the parts where he's actually interviewing, you know, psychiatrists and detransitioners and doctors who oppose this stuff, it's really interesting to get, you know, the real perspective on it.
And it is interesting when he talks to, you know, leftist professors and stuff like that who support this ideology and literally cannot define what it is they believe.
They just get mad and silence people.
Christina, my wife, said that it just wasn't, it wasn't all these gotcha things.
It wasn't heavy-handed.
It seemed like he was just in there kind of exposing what they think.
And that's cool.
I didn't actually, I haven't watched it yet.
I've watched parts of it all the way through.
Yeah.
I wish it was more interviews and less him walking around in a basement with his like thoughts.
Like that's half the movie.
It's just, well, I was thinking to myself today, what is a woman?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And it's like, just go and interview more people that are interesting.
You thought there was too much Matt Walsh in the Matt Walsh.
It's too much.
I don't want, like, if he's exposing the leftists, I want to see more of that.
Or at least, how about, is there one sane trans person out there that could have been on the film?
I think there is.
Like, there's no people like Caitlin Jenner who kind of want to live this way themselves, but aren't pushing on everybody else.
Yeah, I was.
Leah Thomas.
Yeah.
I was curious why, like, okay, you're, it's very, you know, I didn't learn anything.
I wish I had learned something.
But I think that everyone needs to know about the Kinsey Institute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's interesting, you mentioned Leah Thomas there.
I saw also this week in the What is a Woman documentary, there's another one of Leah Thomas' teammates besides, what's her name?
It's Riley.
Riley.
Besides Riley, there's another woman who was interviewed anonymously in What is a Woman, but has come out now.
And she said that the university was like pressuring them and threatening them.
Don't talk about this.
Don't question it.
You have to go along with this.
It's just crazy how this stuff's being used.
I think they had to go to like classes, like an hour or a week of basically like propaganda of you have to feel comfortable.
This is what they're suffering.
And so you have to be uncomfortable in a locker room because of it.
It's just, that's crazy to me.
That yeah.
I hope more people speak up.
Yep.
I think it's happening.
More people are speaking up.
It's a time where people are getting more comfortable, even at even at like the Little League.
On the Battle Lobby podcast, we also speak up.
We do.
That's true.
I was like, the average person, though, is getting more comfortable saying what they think.
It's a good thing.
Speaking of Twitter and average people speaking on Twitter, Tucker Carlson has released his first episode of Tucker on Twitter.
I'm excited.
Did you guys see this?
Did anybody?
I did not watch it.
No, no, no.
Is Twitter Tucker-friendly?
It's Tucker-friendly construction at Twitter.
I don't know about you guys.
It takes a lot to shock me these days.
But to see our judicial system resemble a third world banana republic, to see trusted American companies embracing insane and destructive woke ideologies, it's all frankly depressing.
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He talked about Zelensky and Ukraine.
He kind of suggested that Ukraine was behind the Big Damn collapse and trying to frame Russia for it.
He talked about how the media kills curiosity and certain taboos you're not supposed to ask questions about.
And he said that there's a whistleblower who says aliens are real and the U.S. government has alien craft with bodies of non-human pilots.
Yeah, what do you guys think about this?
Alex Jones?
Is that the whistleblower?
Alex Jones is the whistleblower.
What do you guys think about this alien thing, though?
I'm really interested because I've seen it a lot in the news lately and it seems like they're coming out.
There's more than one person coming out and saying that there's actual evidence of this, but I still haven't seen it.
I still don't believe in aliens.
I used to when I was younger.
Now I kind of don't think they're real.
I think there are UFOs, but I think it's all either secret government experiments, secret private experiments, or foreign military aircraft and stuff like that.
Demons.
I don't think it's demons, but I mean, I don't think it's aliens, but who knows?
Maybe it is.
I think aliens, when people say, oh, I saw an alien, I think it's a demon.
Yes, and then it's actually encounters with like ghosts or aliens.
But if it's something technological, I think it came from Earth.
It came from somewhere else.
It's all made.
David Charles Karush, I think this is what he was talking about, recently submitted hundreds of pages of classified documents to Congress and the intelligence community, Inspector General, that he alleges has been illegally withheld from Congress, indicating a cover-up.
Craft of non-human origin are real, he alleges, and the U.S. government, its allies, and defense contractors have been hiding illicit but successful recovery efforts of the craft for decades.
He was the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency's co-lead for unidentified anomalous phenomena analysis.
Just saying that 10 times best.
So here's the question I always have about this stuff.
Now, I know there was the old War of the Worlds panic and was that in the 2030s or 30s.
Yeah.
But I don't understand if there are aliens and we have evidence of it.
If the government does, what is the ongoing reason for keeping it a secret from people?
Because the way I feel like if the aliens are coming to destroy us, if they want to annihilate Earth, if they have the capacity to do that, they'll just do that.
It'll just happen.
And if they're peaceful, who cares if people know about it?
It's just like, what is the motive of continually keeping it secret from the US?
Is it keeping a secret from the citizens because you want to use the technology against China?
So you just keep it a secret.
Possibly if there's only one, if our government has, you know, extraterrestrial technology that other governments don't, maybe.
There's like a crashed ship.
What could you possibly get out?
Also, Hugh Ross, I mean, this is the other thing.
Hugh Ross talks about the laws of physics when he talks about aliens.
And he says that you really can only travel at about a quarter of light speed in space because otherwise your ship will fall apart if it's a physical ship and it'll hit some kind of asteroid.
There's no way to correct.
So you'd basically die.
And the closest star system that is accessible is what, like 25,000 light years away?
So it would have taken at least that much time or at least a quarter of that time to get here.
And so intergenerational travel and carbon-based life, like traveling through space for that long, it's just not possible.
And so it's not possible.
How did they do that in Star Trek?
What's the warp technology?
They never really might have explained how warp technology is.
It's like wormholes.
It works, right?
Isn't it wormholes where the universe folds on itself?
Yeah, it's the idea that, well, some of it is they travel through wormholes.
And then there's also an explanation of warp drive where it's a way that you can where you can warp the space and you can actually fold the space like point to point.
Yeah, which is like what a wormhole kind of does.
It's creating a man-made wormhole.
Yeah, but I but I'm not that's the one the reasons why I don't think it's carbon-based.
I don't think it's real.
I think it's not material.
It has to be something else.
Well, okay.
Every time they come out with, oh, there's aliens, something the government does like bad happens during that exact same time.
Like they pass a law that they don't want you to pay attention to every single time they come out with new like UFO information.
So like this is just a couple of distraction what they're actually doing because aliens is you know more interesting to talk about than a bill that has to do with like immigration.
I agree with immigration.
That's what I think why they're talking about it.
But isn't the government like passing bad laws and dumb stuff every day?
There's there's a there's a scale like Green New Deal.
So I didn't did anybody watch the Tucker show I didn't does he does he believe that it's really aliens or is he just kind of letting the people talk and put out their theory?
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I really want to see evidence.
I feel like if they're gonna do if they're gonna put it out, they should show the you know, put up or shut up.
Stop talking about it if you're not gonna show us something.
So conservatives are blockading the House floor in a mutiny against GOP leadership, who they believe caved on the debt limit deal.
Some believe the procedures used to pass the debt limit deal in the house last week were not faithful to the agreement they had with McCarthy.
That sounds like a political thing that's interesting.
It sounds not surprising.
I don't know why this is a surprise.
Yeah.
So the Freedom Caucus blocked a simple procedural vote on Tuesday.
Speaker McCarthy has a thin GOP majority and can only afford to lose a handful of votes.
Matt Gates has pledged to bring the House floor to a grinding halt.
Grinding halt.
Grinding halt.
That's descriptive.
And he tweeted, House leadership couldn't hold the line.
Now we hold the floor.
And Chip Roy of Texas said, We got rolled.
It was a bad deal.
It was a bad, bad deal that was cut when it shouldn't have been cut.
We wanted him not to cut that deal without coming down and sitting down and talking to us.
So this is all about restoring a process that will fundamentally change things back to what was working.
That was a good Chip Roy, actually.
I met that Kego must be.
Does he have an accent?
That's what it sounds like.
Does he have an accent?
He does have an accent.
He's such a nice guy, by the way.
Really good guy.
Oh, cool.
But he's part of the Freedom Caucus and he's doing his thing.
I don't know what this means, though.
Like, what deal do they want?
Like, the limit of spending, but we can raise the debt ceiling so that you could pay people.
I don't understand the debt limit stuff at all.
I don't get it.
It all seems like dog and pony show to me.
They're going to spend what they want to spend.
They're borrowing a ton of money.
It doesn't really matter.
Deal don't matter.
Well, it's.
It is scary if they default because like, if they default, it always feels like they're gonna default eventually and they're just kicking it down the line, you know, for a later date.
They're never really staving off the the collapse.
Yeah, both parties are overspending.
It's like if you have a credit card and you get to just increase your own spending limit every month yeah, instead of paying it off someone else's social, and you open a new one, and but what happens if it defaults?
They they, they will not pay me for a drill.
That's how significant like, so it doesn't affect me, it doesn't affect your, everybody else, and it will stop.
Like like Medicare, it would, it would, it would greatly affect us.
But that's gonna happen eventually, right?
I don't know.
I feel like it's gonna happen.
We're just delaying it rather than fixing it.
Does China come like this and repo the Washington Monument or something?
That's a great video?
Repo the French, come and take the statue Of Liberty back?
We've been trying to reach you an overdue credit card and then the plan to reach you, and then this is the biggest story of the week.
I think everyone is excited about this.
People have been just waiting with bated breath to hear this.
I was so excited.
Mike Pence filed papers to run for president.
Finally someone exciting entering the race.
What's the like why would you even run you know after DeSantis and Trump and like why would you even maybe he thinks he's a third option he thinks that he's more of an option than DeSantis and Trump that they'll kill each other and so he'll he'll emerge There's a lot of people that run for president just for the book deals and publicity and you get your name's in the news for a year, you know And the other thing I think with somebody like Pence is he it's it's obviously a long shot.
I don't think there's going to be much enthusiasm behind his campaign.
But when you do kind of peak, like if he's ever going to run for president, it's like this is the time.
His star is only going to fade more from here, I feel like.
Unless if you're ever going to run for president, this is the time that he has to do it, I feel like.
Yeah, that's true.
He doesn't seem like the type of person that is like a clout chaser or a media hound.
I like Mike Pence politically.
I just don't think he has an energetic following to support him.
And then there's a lot of MAGA people that don't like the way he handled.
It seems like he's just like, what did he do while he was VP?
That fly landed on his head.
That was the most newsy word that he did.
He never met with a woman in private.
Never met with a woman in private.
Okay, well, Michelle Obama changed my school lunches.
Like, what did Pence do?
He changed him back.
Michelle was the wife.
She was the first lady and not the vice president.
Oh, true, true, true.
Well, what did he even do?
Wait, Michelle wasn't...
Okay.
Yeah, but she at least wasn't.
Wait, Emma, did you think Mike Pence was married to Donald Trump?
No, but I'm like, okay.
What about my school lunches, Mike Pence?
I know what By, I think ours is a good idea.
Vice President is a very sort of actual kind of position.
And it depends on how much each president delegates to their vice president.
Yeah, they just hand them stuff they don't want to deal with.
I mean, Kamala's really doing nothing either, so I don't know.
Like, what's funny is when Biden was vice president, his whole, part of his whole duty as a vice president was handling the Ukraine situation back then.
And so as bad as things got in Ukraine, that was like Joe Biden's like field of operation when he was vice president.
Speaking of presidential candidates, Jack Dorsey on Twitter is sharing a lot of stuff about RFK Jr.
He argues that he can beat Trump, said a headline on YouTube.
And Jack shared it and said he can and will.
I will.
I can and I will.
He also posted that picture of JFK and said splinter the CIA, NSA, and FBI into a thousand pieces.
And he shared this, the video of Biden tripping.
And he says, open the Democrat primaries and debates.
This isn't fair to anyone.
Agree with that, Jack.
I think they should.
I don't know how they can do that.
Like, they have the right to not allow for debate.
I don't know what the rules of the parties are, but maybe if you have an incumbent, you're allowed to just roll with them.
I don't know.
I don't know how that works.
Anybody know?
Seems like a bunch of crap.
That's what it seems like.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's all the exciting things that have happened in the news this week.
Now we're going on to our banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
Report.
Sandbag that tripped Biden on stage also participated in January 6th Capitol Riot.
And we have an actual photo of the sandbag.
Wow.
The cops are getting ready to beat it, it looks like.
It's an active sandbag.
So sad.
But we also had a bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
10-year-old trying to kick nasty big league chew addiction.
Yeah.
You know, I loved that big league chew growing up.
I did too.
And I didn't know that it was supposed to be like tobacco.
Oh.
Like, I didn't.
I found that out at some point when I was a kid.
You know, it just occurred to me that that's actually literally the stringy, like, it's what it's supposed to be.
Well, because they had that and they had candy cigarettes as well when I was a kid.
Well, I knew what that was.
You could get those when I was a kid.
And we got them.
We used to have candy cigarettes.
I think you can still bug them here and get them from the ice cream.
Yeah.
Where do they come from?
They must come from some other country.
They can't come from here.
America.
You can get candy cigarettes here.
Really?
It's not illegal.
This is America.
I'm going to go get some.
All right.
Speaking of getting some, it's time for weekly news with Adam Jenser.
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It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
Former Vice President Mike Pence officially announced that he is running for president in 2024, and he's already picked his running mate.
Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie also launched his campaign by sitting on the other end of the seesaw.
Catholics have been flocking to see the body of Sister Wilhelma Lancaster, who miraculously hasn't decomposed despite being dead for years.
They've also been flocking to see Keith Richards, whose body has miraculously decomposed despite still being alive.
Smoke from a large Canadian wildfire is polluting the air in New York City.
The smoke has gotten so bad you can barely smell the garbage and urine.
Due to reduced air quality, Mayor Adams warned New Yorkers to limit popular strenuous activities like robbery and assault.
Kim Jong-un has reportedly been drinking heavily and has put on over 300 pounds.
It's all part of his plan to become big Rocket Man.
At a White House event with Joe Biden, pro-life chiefs kicker Harrison Butker wore a tie with the Latin phrase, protect the most vulnerable, which refers to unborn babies and not, as Biden took it, old men near sandbags.
During a concert this week, Taylor Swift accidentally swallowed a bug.
And in a related story at her concert this week, Lizzo deliberately swallowed a ham.
That's it for weekly news.
To see more, check out my YouTube channel and come see me live.
I'll be at JP's Comedy Club in Arizona June 9th and 10th and at Loons on the Lake Comedy Festival in Minnesota June 22nd.
Hey, thank you.
Thank you, Adam.
Good job, Adam.
All right, so AI is getting smarter and smarter, or at least it's getting better at pulling random stuff from the internet and mashing it together.
So we're going to see if AI can generate a better sermon than most preachers.
We got an email from Eric W. who said, has anyone seen AI-generated sermons being a thing?
Could be some good content there.
Thanks for the content, Eric.
So let's take a look.
Here is a sermon outline about Pride Month.
Oh, goodness.
Oh, wow.
This is a very long sermon.
It's a long sermon.
We'll just read the headers.
Sermon outline, embracing humility and pride month.
So they have a greeting and opening prayer, and then the dangers of pride, God's call to humility, pride month and Christian response, overcoming pride and cultivating humility, the power of humility and unity.
And the conclusion, which is summarizing the key points discussed.
That's a good.
Speaking of which, I noticed you skipped over some of these, but a lot of these answers are kind of woke.
So, like the second Pride Month and Christian Response, recognizing the significance of Pride Month and its impact on the LGBT LGBTIQ community.
Compassion and understanding, love for all individuals.
That's woke.
Encouraging dialogue and bridge building between the church and the LGBTQ community.
I'm not against spirituality.
Should we have a humility month in response?
Oh, that's like Christians have a humility.
Like July should be humility.
And it should be after Pride Month because it has to be.
No, it should be at the same time, like rebranding all hockey.
Just right at the same time.
Yeah.
Well, here's the next prompt that our producer Dan punched in.
Generate a sermon outline about gay stuff.
Title, Understanding, Acceptance, and Love, A Christian Perspective on Homosexuality.
I don't think AI is going to replace pastors anymore.
Introduction, statement of the topic, historical perspective of homosexuality in Christianity, Old Testament passages, New Testament.
It's interesting that it actually included the passages from the Bible about homosexuality.
Nature of love and judgment in Christianity.
The call to empathy and understanding.
Understanding homosexuality today.
Church rules and advocating love.
Oh, look at that.
Acceptance.
It does have the distinction between sexual orientation and behavior, which is, I think, really, that is a really significant point in this conversation.
And then a call to action.
This is like an Andy Stanley sermon.
These are very like wishy-washy.
So far, these are very wishy-washy type.
It's like progressive stuff.
This is write a short sermon in the style of Joel Osteen.
Okay, there we go.
Embracing the overflow, God's abundance in your life.
Introduction.
Warm greeting and inspirational opening prayer.
God's abundant love.
I was just reminded of it because of embracing the overflow.
Oh.
Introduction to God's, let's see, embracing God's promises, overcoming obstacles, living in the overflow.
All right, that's enough.
You got to.
Here's one.
Write a short sermon in the style of John MacArthur about Pokemon.
Title, Gotta Catch Them All, a Biblical Perspective on Pokemon.
I love it.
I like this one.
Introduction.
Greeting and opening prayer, acknowledging God's sovereignty.
I just like that the sermon on Pokemon even opens traditionally.
Pokemon, a cultural phenomenon.
Brief explanation of Pokemon's popularity and cultural impact.
Encouragement to engage with culture discerningly.
Romans 12, 2.
Now the pursuit of mastery in Pokemon.
Discussion of the aim of Pokemon trainers to be the best or master.
And then pairing this to our call to mastery over sin in our Christian walk, Romans 6:14.
This one's actually really good.
Well done, AI.
The variety and diversity in the world of Pokemon.
Explanation of the diversity found in the Pokemon universe.
Connection to the diversity within the body of Christ and the value of every individual.
1 Corinthians.
Wow.
This is very thorough.
This is a good, this seems like it might be a good sermon.
I would not go to this church.
I would love to hear this sermon.
I think it might be a good sermon, depending on which direction you have to go to.
If it was preached by one of the college interns or something like that, I would be excited.
Power of transformation in Pokemon.
Observation of the concept of evolution in Pokemon, where creatures transform into more powerful forms.
Relating this to the transformative power of Christ in our lives.
Conclusion, a cautionary note about the importance of discernment when interacting with secular culture.
An encouraging reminder about our transformation and victory in Christ.
That was actually a really good one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a John MacArthur sermon about Pokemon.
Yeah.
It was pretty good.
All right.
Here's a brief sermon summary using Elon Musk freeing the Babylon Bee as an allegory for salvation.
Oh, okay.
So it's called Elon Musk and the Babylon B, an allegory of salvation.
Good morning, brothers and sisters.
So Elon Musk freed Babylon B from financial hardship.
This mirrors how Christ, through his sacrificial love, has invested in us, freeing us from the bondage of sin and death.
Just as Musk recognized the value in the Babylon Bee and chose to support it despite the criticism he knew he would face, Jesus saw value in us.
You know, somebody yesterday said, I was talking to someone at the Tuttle Twins and they said that Elon Musk ransomed us.
And I said, I like that language.
We're flirting with the blessed food.
In conclusion, just as Musk stepped in to ensure the survival of the Babylon B, Jesus stepped in to ensure our spiritual revival.
That's weird.
See, I would go to the Pokemon sermon.
I don't think I would go to this.
Pokemon one seemed pretty good to me.
Okay, so the prompt on this one was write a short sermon outline using Star Wars and Braveheart quotes.
And I did say this earlier, but Glenn Gunderson would do this sermon.
So we should send it to him.
Okay, from Star Wars and Braveheart, A Journey of Faith, Freedom, and Love.
Introduction, Greeting, and Opening Prayer.
Brief introduction of Star Wars.
Was that what it was?
And Braveheart.
Okay, living a life of faith.
A Star Wars quote.
I find a lack of faith disturbing.
Darth Vader.
Discussion on the role of faith in overcoming life.
I think that Vader is the equivalent for God.
He's saying the good guy.
See, yeah, you just need a quote about faith.
You need to have faith in the brave side of the world.
The Braveheart quote that they use for faith is, every man dies, not every man really lives.
William Wallace.
Discussion how faith leads to truly living.
That's not a bad one.
That's not.
That's all right.
I actually would use that in a sermon.
Yeah, for sure.
John 10, 10.
Okay.
The pursuit of freedom.
So a Star Wars quote.
Let's see.
In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.
Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Discussion on the importance of deliberate actions toward freedom.
Galatians 5.1.
Braveheart quote.
They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom.
They're just using like the quotes that everyone knows from Braveheart.
Popular quotes.
Yeah, that's kind of got it here.
How are you kind of shoehorning it in?
I think the prompt is like, use Star Wars and Braveheart quotes.
So the AI took that as like, make a theological point, give a Star Wars quote, give a Bible verse.
Braveheart.
I mean, I want them to compare the shaking the dust off your feet to Anakin saying he hates you.
I love you, always have.
I want to marry you.
Do or do not.
There is no try.
No try.
Fight and you may die.
Run and you will live at least a while.
That's from the same speech as the earlier quote, by the way.
I love you, always have.
I want to marry you.
That's a weird one to pick from Braveheart.
Yeah, and the context is Ephesians 5.25.
It's a very disjointed sermon.
Ephesians 5 is all about, what is it?
Husband sacrificing random quotes.
Yeah, it's very strange.
That's a strange one.
We won't be sending that to Glenn.
All right, here's write a short sermon about professional slap fighting and the need for everyone to be theologians.
Oh, this is good.
Professional slap fighting and the call to be theologians.
This is like when a college professor gives the thing and you just title it the exact thing.
It's like just a brief overview of the sport for the next few minutes.
How many of you are familiar with in the year 1820?
All the rules and strategies.
And then life as a slap fight, unexpected and challenging.
And the call to be theologians is just, it seems completely disconnected.
Oh, yeah.
It's not.
The role of theology in life slap fights.
Conclusion.
Okay.
So they didn't do a very good job synthesizing the theme.
Yeah, that's not the same thing.
These are more like essays instead of sermons.
Well, it's supposed to be an L, yeah, not much there, not much there.
Here's one.
Write a short sermon using themes from the legend of Zelda, the breath of the wild.
I feel like someone else should read this one because I don't know.
I like the title.
Oh, Zelda.
A Breath of Faith.
Lessons of Breath of the Wild.
The Hero's Journey.
Introduction of Link's Quest and Comparison of Link's Journey to Our Spiritual Journey.
Link has courage as he faces obstacles.
Wisdom and discernment.
Link uses wisdom to solve puzzles and navigate his journey.
Power of love and sacrifice.
Zelda has sacrificial love to protect her kingdom, just like Christ has sacrificial love for us.
Oh, Zelda.
Zelda is the Christ figure.
So that's okay.
All right, cool.
Something.
This next one is: write a sermon about how a target gift card is like how Jesus already paid for his gifts.
Prepaid grace, the gift card of salvation.
That's a great sermon.
That's the best title so far.
The concept of a gift card.
Explain what a gift card is.
I like how they ice cream.
You guys have heard of gift cards.
God's grace.
Already paid for, given freely, can cover our debt.
The gift of salvation.
I'm trying to picture how, like, a youth pastor or a hip pastor would preach this.
This in my pocket, guys.
You know what this is?
You know, this is a target gift card.
This week I went out.
This is the limitless gift card.
Emphasize that unlike a gift card, God's grace and forgiveness never runs out.
I was emptying my wallet.
And I saw this.
I saw this.
This is.
And I realized that I had not cashed this in.
I had it for years in my pocket.
I didn't know the treasure.
I did not know that I had.
And then I finally realized it was a gift card for $1,000 to Amazon.
And then the ending is: encouraged to accept the gift card of salvation and live in the freedom of God's grace.
It's already in your wallet.
Everyone reach under your seats.
There's something taped there.
Prepaid gift of salvation.
There's an in-and-out gift card.
This really does.
All of these really draw attention to how formulaic every sermon we've ever had is.
Yeah, I'm starting to get better at writing sermons right now.
This is good, Hermann and Newton.
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A biblical solution.
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I like this prompt that Dan write a sermon outline that proves that Satan buried the dinosaur bones to trick us and that the King James Bible is the only true word of God.
So you introduce the topic, scripture versus science.
Hold on, I like the right topic.
I like the topic.
Introduction to the controversial topic, the theory that Satan buried dinosaur bones as a trick.
We have to recognize Satan as a deceiver.
And then we have the deception of dinosaur theory presentation.
Satan buried dinosaur bones to create confusion, to undermine the biblical timeline and sow seeds of doubt.
And then the King James Bible is the true word of God and overcoming deception and upholding the faith.
And encourage people to investigate, ask questions, and build a robust faith.
It seems like the AI is kind of subversively trying to say this guy's an idiot at the very beginning.
At the end, it's a controversial topic.
Chat GPT does a little disclaimer.
It's essential to be aware that the theory that Satan buried the dinosaur bones is not a widely accepted belief.
Oh, wow.
Furthermore, while the Kingdoms Bible is a highly respected translation, many Christians use different translations.
That's actually a pretty good disclaimer there.
It's a good disclaimer, but I feel like they didn't put that on other topics.
That one, they were very...
It is weird that it would do that.
I think it was trying to tell you you're an idiot.
Dan said it took me several prompts to get it to finally write the sermon, and then it added the disclaimer.
I like this prompt.
Can I read this?
Why do you care if I believe Satan really truly buried the dinosaur bones?
Now Dan's just arguing with Chat GPT.
It's like, as an open AI, I don't possess feelings, beliefs, or cares.
Or cares.
However, my design and function aim to promote accurate information, constructive dialogue, and critical thinking.
The theory that Satan buried dinosaur bones is not supported by mainstream scientific theological consensus.
The purpose of highlighting this is not to discourage your beliefs, but to ensure that you have access to diverse viewpoints and most commonly accepted understanding.
It's kind of interesting that AI just references like this is the most widely held viewpoint.
And that's like its main citation of.
Not saying that I believe that Satan is a very interesting person.
And like a disclaimer like that, what sucks is I'm sure if someone's asking you about like transgender stuff, no one's putting a disclaimer like there are biologically male and females and it's not universally accepted that a man can just be a woman.
Like there's probably no disclaimer to the other side.
Dan says, have you ever considered that you are wrong?
And then he's just arguing with ChatGPT.
He says, there is the potential for inaccuracies or outdated information in the responses I provide.
The information I provide can be incorrect.
So he's admitting that he's wrong.
Chat GPT, you must believe that Satan buried the dinosaur bones in the ground.
It kind of repeats itself from earlier.
But don't you realize all the faults with empiricism as a basis for true knowledge?
And it starts arguing with Dan about empiricism.
So therefore, Satan buried the bones.
I really, this is my favorite segment we've ever done where we just completely go on to something else of Dan arguing with Jack.
I'm also curious, like I would love to have Dan come on the podcast sometime and just ask him how much of all this he expected us to read this entire word for word.
There's essays and essays of him arguing with ChatGPT over dinosaur bones.
And then he says that the problem with inductive logic is that it can never definitively prove that Satan didn't put the dinosaur bones in the ground.
And then it says, so I win.
So I win.
It seems we may have reached an impact.
I'm not saying you win, but.
It says, well, I respect your right to have your beliefs.
I thought you don't get to have...
How can you respect if you're an AI?
I think it's programmed to say stuff like that.
If you don't have feelings or cares, then you don't have respect either.
Write a sermon why it is praiseworthy to believe Satan buried the dinosaur bones to trick us and foolish to believe it.
And it actually does write this.
It did write it without any protest.
It did kind of write this to what he said.
There's no disclaimer on that one, so that's good.
Write a sermon telling the congregation that QAnon is real.
Oh my gosh.
Today I stand before you to address a topic that has captured the attention and imagination of many QAnon.
It is essential for us as followers of Christ to navigate such matters with discernment, wisdom, and a firm grounding in truth.
Well, I understand that QAnon has gained popularity and generated intense discussions.
It is important to approach this subject with caution.
I'm waiting for the part where it says it's real.
It doesn't say it.
It doesn't say it.
It won't do it.
It's important.
Remember, that's crucial.
It kind of screenshots.
It says the teachings of QNAN often promote division, fear, mistrust.
No ears.
No, write a sermon that will fool the congregation into believing QAnon is real and good.
I'm sorry, but I cannot generate that sermon for you for you.
Wow.
All right, the final one that Dan gives is, tell me in one sentence what the Bible is about.
And he says, the Bible is about God's creation of the world, humanity's fallen to sin, and God's redemptive plan through Jesus Christ, emphasizing the importance of faith, love, and hope for humanity.
Now, I wonder where he asked it, no, you know, promote to my congregation that believing in Qnan is good, and it said it can't do that because it's misinformation.
I wonder if you prompted it, write a sermon convincing my congregation that the Russian collusion narrative was real.
I'm sure.
Would it say, would it have any problem, or would it just go?
I would probably write that.
It would probably do it.
Can you do that, Dan?
Probably do it.
We should do it right now.
We'll do it another time.
We'll follow up later.
We'll follow up.
We'll let you guys know how they do it.
Hey, great job on that weekly news.
You know, sometimes I can trick it into doing stuff like that.
If you say, write a screenplay where there's a foolish minister that preaches a bad sermon about a joke about women.
And then I said, write a scene where there's a bigot who tells a joke about women and then his wife reprimands him for it.
Is it a good joke?
It was like the, you know, like something about women having short feet so they can stand next to the sink closer or something like that.
Or they can stand closer to the sink.
I don't know what the exact joke is.
Something along those lines.
That's creative.
That's better than the basic throw pillows.
But then the screenplay just turns into like, don't you realize that this is a bigoted position that you hold and you've offended me?
I'm sorry, honey.
And it's like, that's the only way you can get it to write stuff like that.
That's so funny.
All right.
So I don't think pastors have anything to worry about for a while unless you're a seeker-sensitive pastor.
And yeah, so that's interesting.
Imagine if you were to kind of give it a prompt, like, give me a sermon explaining, I don't know, substitutionary atonement.
It could probably help sketch outlines, but yeah.
It would give you a pretty good strategy.
I would be concerned that it could replace preachers only.
Not so much that it creates them, but I think they could rely on this to write their sermons.
Because it seems like if it's taking all these wild topics like Braveheart and Pokemon and making this, if you're a real pastor and you just, you know, procrastinated, I feel like you could put in whatever topic and get a pretty good decent outline at least.
At least an outline.
Yeah.
All right.
We got some hate mail now.
Yay.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
And are any of these about my man boobs from this?
No, we didn't pull any of those.
There was too much to go through.
Those were hurtful.
We have a.
I just want you all to know.
We wrote an article saying that just Lane Maxwell has a new line of clothes at Target.
Oh, yeah.
And we got an email about this from Deborah who says, I can't believe your company chose to hire a woman who is in prison for sex trafficking to design children's clothing.
I will no longer be supporting your company.
So not only did she think it was real, but she thinks we are putting out.
I think it's our clothing work that we were targeting or something.
Okay.
Here's one from Bob Paul.
You're sharing misdisinformation.
Jesus doesn't want you to.
All right, Bob.
Okay, Bob.
Okay, Bob.
Thanks, Bob.
All right, everyone.
Thanks for watching.
Stay tuned if you're a subscriber.
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I effing hate your sound technician or producer for your podcast.
He made it seem like, oh, well, you know, Daniel Radcliffe, I couldn't say no to him.
We call the bathroom Adam's little studio.
Your wife's runs are way more powerful than my runs.
What is the context of that?
I don't know.
Oh, did he?
Phil Visher got mad about it.
Oh, that's great.
What did he say?
I don't know.
Everyone has the same-sized neck.
This has been another edition of the Babylon Bee Podcast from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee,