| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Shorts Dineen Coming?
00:07:40
|
|
| So you and me are stranded. | |
| We'll take this to the street. | |
| Normally Luke's Mr. PP. I don't feel right. | |
| I don't feel right. | |
| Nobody knows but us how we roll. | |
| So, everyone knows trousers didn't even run the fashion. | |
| They all know this. | |
| What's the new thing coming in? | |
| Shorts Dineen. | |
| Yeah, it's the new thing coming in, bro. | |
| Shorts Dineen. | |
| I actually heard of Jackets Dineen being made. | |
| Really? Yeah. | |
| Oh, shit. | |
| Jackets Dineen. | |
| Yeah, it's like a new thing. | |
| It's not like 80s. | |
| It's like today. | |
| Jackets Dineen, I've seen them in stores. | |
| Shit. We might need to get some. | |
| You guys might see me all in Denim. | |
| Denim hats. | |
| What do they call that? | |
| The Canadian tuxedo. | |
| Is that what it's called? | |
| Is that what it's called? | |
| I think so. | |
| It's called Luke Denim sheep. | |
| The magazine coined it last year. | |
| Yeah. So before the camera was on, I was saying that we live in a desert, one of the hottest places in the world, and yet you wear this thick, wrangler material. | |
| It's not hot. | |
| The idea of Dubai's haunts a lie. | |
| It's a lie. | |
| It's a silence. | |
| No, it's odd. | |
| It is so odd. | |
| And you wear Wrangler's denim midday. | |
| Deneen. Deneen. | |
| Deneen. Midday. | |
| Yeah. Because it's not hot. | |
| Alright, for all the Europeans out there, it's probably, what, 45 degrees? | |
| For all my American friends, that's almost 100 degrees Fahrenheit. | |
| And he's in Wrangler jeans. | |
| Man's not hot. | |
| Girl told me, take off your Denny. | |
| And you know what the secret is to never be hot? | |
| The secret to never being hot is not know the number. | |
| I have no idea what the number is any day. | |
| I wake up, I'm like a dog. | |
| I don't know what the number is. | |
| 20, 30, 40, 50. I got no clue. | |
| You don't sigh off yourself. | |
| I'm sure you look at the weather. | |
| For all the Americans out there, 50 degrees is 122 Fahrenheit. | |
| And he's wearing rain. | |
| So Luke, we show up to dinner. | |
| Yeah, and they swap the spot. | |
| So you and me are stranded. | |
| Yeah, we have to go back. | |
| Did they get us? | |
| Yeah, they got us. | |
| So Bailey, I just got a confirmation. | |
| They did say Namas in the house. | |
| They said Namas in the house. | |
| It was Namas in the house, but it was a different place in the group. | |
| So we drove, what, 20 minutes? | |
| 20 minutes. | |
| For nothing. | |
| For nothing. | |
| And now we're stranded. | |
| And now we have to go back. | |
| All the way where we were at. | |
| All the way back to where we were at. | |
| Because the place they're at was one minute away from where we were originally. | |
| Yeah. They got us. | |
| Yeah, they got us. | |
| They got us. | |
| They got us. | |
| We're back here. | |
| At the place we were at last night. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| And now we have to drive 20 minutes back. | |
| Yeah. Thanks, Andrew. | |
| Thanks, Bruce. | |
| Thanks. You got us. | |
| Yeah, you super got us. | |
| You super got us. | |
| I was saying Namos all in the house. | |
| Namos, Namos, Namos. | |
| It was all I was talking about. | |
| It was probably on film. | |
| The whole time. | |
| Namos, Namos, Namos, Namos. | |
| And then we drive 20 minutes to Namos. | |
| Yeah. And who wasn't there? | |
| I checked T-Bros and I started seeing words. | |
| And I'm like, where are these words? | |
| I saw the map link, right? | |
| I saw it. | |
| And I'm like, that must be to Namos. | |
| Makes sense, dude. | |
| That would beat it almost. | |
| Skill issue. | |
| Skill issue. | |
| We're going to be out till 6 in the morning, dude. | |
| No. Wait, Nick. | |
| No. 6 a.m. tonight. | |
| 6 a.m. | |
| Oh, gosh. | |
| He's ecstatic. | |
| The class night was rough and that was 4 a.m. | |
| I know. | |
| 6 a.m. | |
| I can't imagine. | |
| I know. | |
| Andrew's ready. | |
| I'm ready. | |
| He only enjoys it because I don't. | |
| I would never be so petty and spiteful. | |
| That's the only reason he enjoys it. | |
| He'll only be okay with it. | |
| Otherwise, he'd be the one saying no. | |
| Whoa, Luke, that's not true. | |
| This is Schrodinger's gnocchi. | |
| I've ordered gnocchi. | |
| If you order it, it's going to suck. | |
| If you don't, it's going to be amazing. | |
| That's what's going to happen. | |
| Really, truthfully, if you were a man, you'd order it to make me suffer. | |
| I have to order the gnocchi. | |
| To make me suffer. | |
| All three of us have to order it now. | |
| Bailey, we need to share. | |
| I don't even want gnocchi. | |
| I tried to keep it simple, and I was just going to order what Andrew ordered. | |
| And I asked him, is that me? | |
| And he said, no. | |
| I don't really want Naki, but I might have to order Naki. | |
| Bailey, I might be forced to order Naki. | |
| I'm recording Luke recording, but he doesn't know that I'm recording him recording. | |
| I'm watching him behind the scenes, doing his job live, and he has no idea. | |
| I know that Bailey's recording me recording. | |
| I'm recording him recording. | |
| It's like Inception. | |
| It's a cameraman within a camera. | |
| It is an Inception. | |
| You're waiting for your brother? | |
| Yeah. Mr. had to go to the bathroom. | |
| Oh, for fuck's sake. | |
| Oh, so Tristan missed the toilet. | |
| Mr. PP. | |
| Mr. PP. | |
| We're really Luke's Mr. PP. | |
| I'm not. | |
| You are. | |
| Remember the London airport? | |
| No. When Tristan lost his bag, it's all because of you. | |
| Ah, now it's all coming back. | |
| I wonder if I even filmed that. | |
| I'm not sure if that was even done. | |
| That never made TC. | |
| I remember. | |
| Andrew remembers. | |
| I gotta go, man. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I'm at a massive party. | |
| Bless you guys, man. | |
| I'll see you there. | |
| I'm your extra bodyguard. | |
| A bodyguard using the bodyguard. | |
| Ladies, you're doing it tonight! | |
| Hey! Hey, hey, hey! | |
| Hey, hey, hey! | |
| Angela! | |
| You got me. | |
| We on fire. | |
| Step up in the party. | |
| Step up in the party high. | |
| We on fire. | |
| Right up to the party. | |
| Right up to the party high. | |
| In an hour. | |
| Welcome to the party. | |
| Hey, hey, hey. | |
| Welcome to the party. | |
| Hey, hey, hey. | |
| Hey, hey. | |
| Welcome to the party. | |
| No fear, bitch. | |
| I'm a fan. | |
| This is an election show. | |
| This is an election show. | |
| Watch out. | |
| Listen. Listen. | |
| My song is unforgettable. | |
| I'm not sure you're feeling so you can get the boot time. | |
| Fuck the bullshit! | |
| I wanna hear it! | |
| Fuck the bullshit! | |
| Fuck the problem! | |
| Fuck the problem! | |
| We're in Dubai! | |
| We're in Dubai! | |
| One last thing, guys. | |
| I need one last thing. | |
| I need you to make some noise if women lie. | |
| Make some noise one time. | |
| Culture's in the burning. | |
| Kristen is in the burning. | |
| Prince Montana, we outside, let's go. | |
| I love the screaming. | |
| One, two, three. | |
| Wait, wait, wait. | |
| I need one as well. | |
| One, two, three. | |
| You guys can't dance outside the club in something called The Hiding Place, which we've named it now. | |
| Bailey, they can't do this. | |
| They're doing it. | |
| No, but they can't do it. | |
| It's getting you. | |
| You're supposed to dance in side rooms, not outside the hiding rooms. | |
| Look, you don't understand the system. | |
| The new system is the new deal. | |
| That's basically what happens. | |
| I mean, I guess it is what happens. | |
| They just did it at one point. | |
| Stop it. | |
| I'm enjoying it. | |
| I'm watching everything. | |
| I'm watching everything. | |
| Stop it. | |
| I'm not, because it's also super intimidating because he kind of fights like this. | |
| It's like he quickly moves one way and then hits you. | |
| You've been served, Luke. | |
|
Oh Oh, Street Cred Lost
00:07:19
|
|
| I don't care. | |
| If you don't dance back, you're going to lose your street cred. | |
| The Russian waiter wants me to bring the lotto here. | |
| I think I should. | |
| If you lose your street cred, you're going to lose your rep. | |
| You lose your rep on the streets. | |
| I don't have any rep. | |
| You're not going to dance back. | |
| No. You're just going to take that. | |
| Yeah. You can't take that. | |
| You can't just be served. | |
| Look, you've been served. | |
| If you've been served, something really bad happens if you don't dance back. | |
| Nothing bad happens. | |
| You know what we mean? | |
| It's the end of your life. | |
| All those movies. | |
| We'll take this to the streets. | |
| No, all those movies make no sense because it doesn't matter. | |
| Oh, really? | |
| The dance competition doesn't matter. | |
| I suppose it doesn't matter. | |
| Well, I've got something to say about that. | |
| Really, none of it matters. | |
| I do feel it, but it doesn't matter. | |
| You're feeling it, don't you? | |
| I'm stealth. | |
| Follow us guys. | |
| *Dramatic music* | |
| Where's he? | |
| So, uh, someone can get in here. | |
| Andrew, where's your brother? | |
| Doing some work for the first time in his life. | |
| First time ever. | |
| He gets to work when he gets to hang out. | |
| I think we can get used to Dubai. | |
| This is Fox. | |
| Who's a superstar boy? | |
| What you got in the bag? | |
| I am eating, I am eating. | |
| That's fucking time. | |
| So drop that. | |
| Roll out with the top bag. | |
| One, two, four. | |
| Alright, I'll give you this. | |
| What's up, Kiki? | |
| How you doing, bro? | |
| You want to be heavyweight? | |
| Maybe he's heavyweight. | |
| Maybe, maybe. | |
| Fast like a middleweight. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| I'm disappointed! | |
| Go five guys! | |
| Go five guys! | |
| I'm scared, I'm like, my wife. | |
| Hey, keep your arms. | |
| I swear, keep your arms. | |
| Take your money, man. | |
| I'm gonna get money on the dresser, drive a compressor. | |
| Top notch hoes get the most, not the lesser. | |
| Trash like the fuck for $40 in the club. | |
| Fuckin'up the game, bitch, it gets no love. | |
| She be cross country, giving all that she got. | |
| A thousand, a pop, I'm pulling billions off the lot. | |
| I smashed up the gray one, bought me a red. | |
| Every time we hit the parking lot, return head. | |
| Some hoes wanna choose, but them bitches too scary. | |
| When your bitch chose me, you ain't a pimp, you a fairy. | |
| Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. | |
| Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. | |
| Baby, you been rolling solo, time to get down with the team. | |
| The girls is greener on that other side. | |
| The girls are greener on that other side. | |
| When we're driving. | |
| I think so. | |
| So I came in here and Andrew got me hats. | |
| How about your new hat? | |
| Google my net worth. | |
| Ridiculous gorilla hat. | |
| Yeah. I like my gorilla hat. | |
| People Googling, I mean, what is your net worth on Google? | |
| Far less than it really is. | |
| Zero. You're the rich one. | |
| No. Put the how. | |
| I'm not. | |
| I don't need to flex on them with a hat. | |
| I thought, why don't wear at least our hat? | |
| That is true. | |
| No, that is true. | |
| I don't know. | |
| But to Google my net worth hat, you should 100% wear it. | |
| So people type in, what is Cousin Luke's net worth? | |
| Thank you. | |
| Merry Christmas. | |
| You're welcome. | |
| And I'll actually wear these. | |
| I hope so, otherwise I'll be deeply offended and we'll have to fight. | |
| Shit. No, like, deeply offended in my heart. | |
| Like, I bought him a hat. | |
| He didn't even fucking like the hat. | |
| I may as well fight now. | |
| Genuinely. So, it's up to you. | |
| Nice. If you want to make an enemy out of me, we can do it. | |
| We're so rich for now. | |
|
Follow Commerce Hat
00:01:06
|
|
| No broken things. | |
| I'll help you guys if you can do this. | |
| Yeah. Halfway on his first try. | |
| We need to go follow our money. | |
| You guys are a bunch of princes. | |
| You got a call from your brother. | |
| He crashed his car. | |
| He needs a car to be able to go to work every day. | |
| You don't have one to lend him. | |
| No one does. | |
| He has two weeks paid vacation saved. | |
| You are going to need to make five grand in the next two weeks to buy him a car. | |
| You are a member of the real world, the best financial educational platform on planet Earth. | |
| Now, what business model would you follow? | |
| E-commerce. | |
| Upwards of $66,000, $25,000 on the e-commerce campus, I hit my first $1,000 day. | |
| Copywriting! Which campus will you choose? | |