|
This is my human rights!
|
|
Do you have the human rights in this house?
|
|
It's the human trafficking truck.
|
|
Move fat Romanian.
|
|
Brokey, Brokey, Brokey.
|
|
Everyone clap!
|
|
Let's go!
|
|
You will have the occasion to know them better, but they are real, real great men.
|
|
And thank you that you came to celebrate my birthdays.
|
|
You can't miss Jail.
|
|
You can't miss Jail.
|
|
You've never been, you wouldn't know.
|
|
Jail's not good.
|
|
You don't understand.
|
|
You don't know how good it is.
|
|
There's no way Jail's good.
|
|
No, it's super good.
|
|
No! You ever been?
|
|
I've never been.
|
|
It's super fun!
|
|
You guys look like the jail type to you.
|
|
You're just chilling with the guys, you know?
|
|
I don't understand.
|
|
Why? No, guys, I genuinely, I promise you, have no fucking idea why this is here or what it is.
|
|
We thought Tristan bought it, but he thought you bought it, so now we're all confused.
|
|
What is it?
|
|
I did not buy it.
|
|
It's a Cybertruck, right?
|
|
Yeah. I didn't buy it.
|
|
I didn't buy it.
|
|
I got Jesco yesterday.
|
|
I don't like electric cars, even though I have a Rimac Navarra.
|
|
I did not buy this.
|
|
I've never seen one before.
|
|
I've never placed an order for one.
|
|
I have no fucking idea what this is or why it was delivered here.
|
|
Well, your name's on it.
|
|
Your name's on it.
|
|
Look on the inside.
|
|
Go inside.
|
|
No, I'm not trying to get you.
|
|
Has someone bought me a Cybertruck?
|
|
I'm genuinely telling you the truth.
|
|
Your name is on it.
|
|
What's the button on the side?
|
|
Okay, you have enough cars to know how to open a Cybertruck.
|
|
I don't know how to open a fucking Cybertruck, do you?
|
|
Where's the key?
|
|
Ha-ha.
|
|
It's like a security badge.
|
|
That's badass.
|
|
Try the top one.
|
|
Someone bought me a Cybertruck.
|
|
What did I say?
|
|
Your name is on it.
|
|
This is your truck.
|
|
Look at the headrest, Bert.
|
|
Look at the headrest.
|
|
And why's it got Albanian plates?
|
|
Okay, that's kind of cool.
|
|
These are the London guys.
|
|
Too much fucking money.
|
|
Why have I got a Cybertruck with Tate on it?
|
|
Okay, I actually didn't see the headrest.
|
|
I'm going to zoom in on that.
|
|
Look, it says Tate.
|
|
It says Tate.
|
|
I didn't buy this.
|
|
Bro, I swear to God.
|
|
I had no idea what this is.
|
|
I didn't even think Cybertrucks were legal in Europe because they have pointy edges or something.
|
|
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
|
|
But in Albania, everything's legal for money.
|
|
And so they just delivered it here.
|
|
Albanians must have done it.
|
|
The only Albanians I know are London.
|
|
What the fuck?
|
|
It's so long.
|
|
Get in the back, bitch.
|
|
Is that how you do it?
|
|
You know more than me.
|
|
I don't know how to fucking do any of this.
|
|
It is called a Cybertruck.
|
|
Get in.
|
|
Get in.
|
|
Get in the back.
|
|
Ready? It's the human trafficking truck.
|
|
Doc! Doc!
|
|
Oh my god!
|
|
Decor! Right, you have to let me out!
|
|
No, no, there's no coming out!
|
|
There's no coming out!
|
|
There's no coming out!
|
|
Hey! Who's the man?
|
|
Hey! Who's the man?
|
|
I don't know!
|
|
Beg! Why?
|
|
Because I said so!
|
|
This is my human rights!
|
|
Do you have the human rights in this house?
|
|
Free me!
|
|
Say please.
|
|
Free me, please!
|
|
They're so ridiculous.
|
|
Let me out.
|
|
Alright, so now we gotta go drive in the Cybertruck.
|
|
Let me go ask Tristan if he knows anything about this.
|
|
Which of the Albanians we know sent us the Cybertruck?
|
|
No idea.
|
|
There's the key in the security.
|
|
I have no clue.
|
|
You don't know anything about the truck?
|
|
I have nothing.
|
|
I have no clue.
|
|
It has our name stitched into it everywhere.
|
|
There's a key in the security.
|
|
That's all I know.
|
|
So I have the truck turned off.
|
|
You weren't here.
|
|
I assume it was you.
|
|
So we're all confused.
|
|
We thought it was you, you thought it was us.
|
|
Let me get security to make sure there's not a bomb.
|
|
Are you trying to famoose us?
|
|
Is this one big famoose?
|
|
One Tristan famoose?
|
|
Something to do with me?
|
|
Is there some secret Oreo that never got eaten, and you've changed this whole timeline?
|
|
Ah, wait, wait, wait, wait!
|
|
If you eat that Oreo, that's a different future than if you don't.
|
|
Be careful!
|
|
Could be Luke's fault.
|
|
Alright, road trip with the boys?
|
|
Looks like it.
|
|
Let's go!
|
|
How do I, uh, heat and steering?
|
|
Arcade. I've got arcade.
|
|
You've got Netflix.
|
|
Hi, hi.
|
|
I've got Netflix.
|
|
Alright, I'm getting in.
|
|
I'm getting in.
|
|
Tap keycard to drive.
|
|
Tap keycard to drive.
|
|
I have never driven one of these.
|
|
I don't even have a fucking clue how these work.
|
|
Jesus. Ride height low.
|
|
Sentries available.
|
|
Car wash.
|
|
Mirrors. Child lock.
|
|
Glovebox. This is confusing.
|
|
Dynamics. Beast mode.
|
|
You've got to go beast mode.
|
|
Okay. What a weird day.
|
|
Very weird day.
|
|
It's weird because other things have happened that the audience doesn't know about, but we know.
|
|
Super weird day.
|
|
Super weird day.
|
|
Alright, so that's that.
|
|
How do I put it in gear?
|
|
Does it have gear?
|
|
Does it have gear?
|
|
Yeah, but it has drive.
|
|
There. That's drive.
|
|
Park. Keep her there.
|
|
It's really directional.
|
|
It changes.
|
|
The turning circle is super tight.
|
|
What if the i8 guy is some...
|
|
Like, scout to let them know that we're finally in the Cybertruck.
|
|
No, something's weird.
|
|
I don't like this.
|
|
Something's weird.
|
|
Hey, G. G, what's up?
|
|
I stay here because I want to thank you for everything, man.
|
|
Good to meet you, bro.
|
|
I put the T8, CXI, like you're McLaren.
|
|
First, I think.
|
|
Big thank you for everything, man.
|
|
No problem, G. Send me an email, yeah?
|
|
We'll talk on email.
|
|
You have my email address?
|
|
Yeah, of course.
|
|
Thank you, bro.
|
|
So he's not related to the Cybertruck?
|
|
Or at least we think.
|
|
Oh my gosh.
|
|
Oh my gosh.
|
|
That was roller coaster.
|
|
Yeah, it's quick.
|
|
No, that's actually really fun.
|
|
It's too big to do that.
|
|
Okay, that floored me.
|
|
I'm not gonna lie.
|
|
It's supposed to be mad quick.
|
|
What? Okay, this is weird.
|
|
This is weird.
|
|
Move, fat Romanian.
|
|
Before you get run over.
|
|
This shit's cool.
|
|
See all the cars, it's scanning all the cars.
|
|
See the cars coming even ahead of these cars, it's detecting them all.
|
|
And I bet if you go through these settings and shit, it's full of super cool stuff.
|
|
It's very directional.
|
|
It's very pointy.
|
|
I'm surprised by how pointy it is.
|
|
I didn't expect it to move like that.
|
|
Look, everyone's running to get out of the way of you driving.
|
|
It kind of scans all the cars, the traffic of that as well.
|
|
And it shows people too.
|
|
Yeah. Look, there's a kid.
|
|
Romanian Brokey.
|
|
He's really right there.
|
|
Brokey, Brokey, Brokey.
|
|
First impression?
|
|
You know what?
|
|
It's annoying because I can already see myself getting used to driving this.
|
|
Yeah. It's so easy.
|
|
Before we go to ****, we have time for one car review.
|
|
Do you want to do this or the Jessica?
|
|
What do people want to see?
|
|
Do people want to see me ragging a Kernese Jesco around the Romanian mountains?
|
|
Or me driving a Cybertruck and critiquing Elon's creation?
|
|
I know everyone wants to see the Jesco because no Jesco review has been done the way I would do a Jesco review.
|
|
We all know that my car reviews are the best.
|
|
I know everyone wants to see the Jesco, but maybe, you know, maybe we should do the Cybertruck.
|
|
Mix it up a little bit.
|
|
Now I'm excited for my Navara, because I thought my electric Navara, which I bought for four million dollars, would be boring to drive.
|
|
But now I realize it might actually be fun, and that's quicker than this.
|
|
The fastest car in the world, actually.
|
|
It's Romania in a fucking nutshell.
|
|
I wonder if it detected it as a horse and carriage on here.
|
|
That would have been cool.
|
|
I doubt it.
|
|
I finally made the mantra come true.
|
|
What's the mantra?
|
|
Say it.
|
|
The mantra is fuck gas.
|
|
Luke and I were champions of fuck gas.
|
|
I'm just a champion of gas.
|
|
No, we ran out of gas in France.
|
|
Fuck gas!
|
|
You know what this means, Luke?
|
|
Looks like we're in our gas.
|
|
We said that gas was for faggots.
|
|
No matter how low the gas gets, first person to stop the loser.
|
|
It was fuck gas.
|
|
What are you putting in your car?
|
|
That's what I'm talking about.
|
|
What are you putting in your car?
|
|
Can you admit that I have made the mantra finally come fully true?
|
|
I was the fuck gas champion and now it's better.
|
|
Watch out.
|
|
Supercom. Sorry.
|
|
Okay. We don't want to go to jail again, but I'm the fuck gas champion.
|
|
Can you admit that?
|
|
Tristan, that's your mate, sir.
|
|
That's your mate.
|
|
You know why he's coming and you know why he's mad?
|
|
Because I'm the fuck gas champion and you're not.
|
|
That's why he's pissed.
|
|
Because he works for Big Gas.
|
|
He works for Big Gas and I've been saying fuck gas and that's why he's mad.
|
|
Because I no longer need gas ever again.
|
|
Yeah, and you're exposing it to him.
|
|
I'm exposing it to the world, so I win.
|
|
Basically, I'm doing God's work.
|
|
Basically, I super win, and you mega lose.
|
|
And you and your entire family are fucking losers.
|
|
You and your entire bloodline.
|
|
A dynasty of cowards.
|
|
The coward dynasty.
|
|
Admit it.
|
|
Admit it, or I won't buy you a chocolate bar.
|
|
Fucking loser.
|
|
Fucking loser.
|
|
I bet they have gas.
|
|
Look at her.
|
|
Look at them.
|
|
Gas, gas.
|
|
Fuck. You want me, you want the car?
|
|
Where are we?
|
|
Tell me about this place.
|
|
I'm not gonna do as you say.
|
|
'Cause it's not my boss.
|
|
We're at home.
|
|
We're at home.
|
|
I try to prompt for Take Confidential sometimes.
|
|
I try to prompt Andrew and Tristan for action.
|
|
And now they're back talking and refusing to give contact.
|
|
We're at home.
|
|
AI. We're saving money for Take Confidential.
|
|
This is AI.
|
|
We're saving money and you're fired.
|
|
This is not AI.
|
|
You're fired.
|
|
I miss Luke.
|
|
And I know you do too.
|
|
Luke doesn't miss you.
|
|
I guarantee you doesn't give a fuck on you.
|
|
Luke is also fire.
|
|
Luke would really enjoy this place.
|
|
I know he would.
|
|
Luke is a party animal.
|
|
He loves going out.
|
|
Put down the knife, Andrew.
|
|
It's not worth it.
|
|
It's not worth it.
|
|
Kristen. Kristen.
|
|
Kristen. Kristen, for real.
|
|
Kristen. Kristen, look at the camera.
|
|
Kristen, I'm taking your photo.
|
|
Look at the camera.
|
|
Kristen, it's a boring episode of Take Confidential.
|
|
All you're doing is ignoring the camera.
|
|
So is Andrew.
|
|
Andrew's not saying anything.
|
|
Ignore the camera for all of Tate Confidential.
|
|
We have black and brown friends.
|
|
The brown man holding the camera.
|
|
We do activities that include racially sensitive content.
|
|
And this movie is groundbreaking because there's no white.
|
|
It was named that because her skin is white as snow.
|
|
It's now brown.
|
|
And I need to make my ethnic friends feel better.
|
|
Imagine if I'm brown skin.
|
|
This is brown.
|
|
Ali's moving.
|
|
Why don't you tell us you're a movie star?
|
|
We're streaming a Peter Pan peanut butter alert of us watching Snow White live because I said on 5,000 retweets I would do it.
|
|
So now I'm going to sit there and ignore the movie on my phone.
|
|
But I can't really do that because I'm not sticking to my promise.
|
|
So I'm going to have to actually watch it at E-Pump Mart.
|
|
I'm suffering.
|
|
So we're watching Snow White.
|
|
Yeah. Tristan's favorite movie.
|
|
It's Suicide by Snow White.
|
|
What kind of trick is that?
|
|
I bet it's that.
|
|
I bet it's that.
|
|
What? I bet it's that.
|
|
You didn't give me as much as you think you did.
|
|
You'll never financially recover.
|
|
What just happened to you?
|
|
There's probably a poor loser.
|
|
If anyone here is a poor loser, you can all agree it's Alex.
|
|
I want to see Alex's movie.
|
|
You want to see Alex's movie?
|
|
What's your movie about?
|
|
Your movie.
|
|
My movie.
|
|
Yeah, the one where you're an actor.
|
|
That's my movie.
|
|
It is.
|
|
You're the star.
|
|
You're in the middle on the poster.
|
|
Let me just flex for five seconds.
|
|
You're running an entire cinema.
|
|
When you go see a movie, you sit amongst peasants.
|
|
When I go see a movie, I call the cinemas, they give me every fucking ticket, all of it.
|
|
They give me staff to bring me popcorn and nachos and things.
|
|
Why I would do that to watch Snow White?
|
|
Well, I know that motivation seems strange, but considering I've had the living room,
|
|
This is my cinema!
|
|
This dickhead!
|
|
I've basically become suicidal and decided to commit suicide by a Snow White.
|
|
So I'm gonna watch Rachel, the most insufferable person in the world, dance around pretending she's Snow White when she's as brown as I am.
|
|
I'm not Snow White.
|
|
I am a N. I am an N. And she's Michael.
|
|
So... Snow N?
|
|
Can I say the word?
|
|
Snow... Hey!
|
|
You're gonna be sick, guys!
|
|
Wait, are you excited?
|
|
Fuck yes!
|
|
Yes! Fucking yes!
|
|
Tristan, are you excited?
|
|
Yes! And it's set in medieval Germany.
|
|
I bet all the other characters are black as well.
|
|
Medieval Germany, full fucking black.
|
|
Nigel. Where's Nigel?
|
|
So you rented out the whole theater, so we're the only ones in here.
|
|
People say money isn't happiness.
|
|
I've got a whole cinema here to watch Snow White.
|
|
Snow White with the boys.
|
|
Snow White with the mandem.
|
|
Snow White with the seven dorks.
|
|
You do realize that because all these seats in this private cinema are expensive and we booked the entire cinema...
|
|
We're responsible for about 30% of this movie's box office turnover.
|
|
The first fully booked cinema to see Snow White anywhere in the world is this one.
|
|
Every seat's paid for.
|
|
Although we could have just bought our own seats and showed up and no one else would be here probably.
|
|
So we could have saved somebody.
|
|
Are you gonna get sued?
|
|
Yeah. Okay, I'll let you know when it's time for you to make your sexy grand entrance.
|
|
It's actually my hobby.
|
|
I love getting sued.
|
|
Right. My favorite thing to do is be sued.
|
|
I love that every day I wake up to new lawsuits.
|
|
So if everyone's wondering what I'm talking about, we're live streaming Snow White.
|
|
If they text me and tell me not to, I won't.
|
|
But if they don't text me, then I have permission.
|
|
As far as I'm concerned.
|
|
Yeah, it's their fault.
|
|
They should have texted you.
|
|
They should have texted you.
|
|
I don't know.
|
|
Cinema didn't tell me to stop.
|
|
Disney didn't tell me to stop.
|
|
So how the fuck am I supposed to know?
|
|
Am I psychic?
|
|
No, they should be paying us.
|
|
Free promotion.
|
|
Well, no one's gonna watch this shit anyway.
|
|
So at least someone's gonna fucking see it.
|
|
No one's going to watch it otherwise.
|
|
Yeah, why aren't they sending us money?
|
|
Whoever! They don't pay me!
|
|
I'm famous!
|
|
I'm famous!
|
|
They don't pay me!
|
|
I'm more famous than that bitch!
|
|
What's her name?
|
|
That bitch!
|
|
Rachel Black Power.
|
|
Fuck these hunky-ass, cracker-ass who come to your countries and take your acting roles to black people only.
|
|
Only Blast!
|
|
Once upon a time, there was a...
|
|
Peaceful kingdom ruled by a virtuous queen and king.
|
|
Kristen, the movie just started.
|
|
We can't go home.
|
|
Kristen, the movie just started.
|
|
I'm having the best time of my life.
|
|
This is great!
|
|
Oh look!
|
|
Look! There's blacks everywhere!
|
|
Just like now!
|
|
You're black too!
|
|
Blacks are an idol black!
|
|
I'm black!
|
|
Everyone's black!
|
|
So basically one of the palace assistants was a dirty Algerian like you saw.
|
|
And was banging the queen.
|
|
Bogey, you said, have you been having sex with the queen of Snow White Land?
|
|
No. I caught you.
|
|
Brown hands.
|
|
Snow White pickpockets, thieves, everywhere.
|
|
Watch out!
|
|
They're gonna stab you and steal your stuff.
|
|
Watch out, princess!
|
|
Syphilis, slut.
|
|
Algerian Ebola.
|
|
So it took Anderola five minutes to get on his phone.
|
|
Shit, Gal Gadot?
|
|
We all know what kind of enchanting woman she is.
|
|
I'm not gonna say what kind of enchanting lady she is.
|
|
Chris is still all in on the movie.
|
|
It was a Jewish enchanting lady.
|
|
I'd fucking lock you up if you stop fucking singing.
|
|
You're annoying.
|
|
Non-stop singing.
|
|
Yusuf, you are brown, and if you were singing my house every day, being brown, singing, like, Indian songs and shit, I'd lock you up in jail.
|
|
I've seen her sing another video.
|
|
She can actually sing.
|
|
I'll give it to her.
|
|
She can sing.
|
|
This movie sucks.
|
|
You can't sing in a fully empty cinema that we've reputed for just us and watch a single movie without complaining.
|
|
That sounds a lot like Princess Problems.
|
|
Just this.
|
|
You can.
|
|
It sounds to me like Princess Problems.
|
|
We have to finish the movie.
|
|
No way.
|
|
No? I can't do it.
|
|
Tristan, we're all in this together.
|
|
No, you're already not alone.
|
|
No, no, no, no.
|
|
I'm not interested.
|
|
I can't do it.
|
|
These will not help me.
|
|
They will.
|
|
I can't go.
|
|
I can't watch them.
|
|
I brought those for when you reach your tipping point.
|
|
Really? And you hit your tipping point.
|
|
I can't do it.
|
|
So I brought reinforcements.
|
|
Let's continue the attack.
|
|
Guys, he's back.
|
|
Oh, he's black.
|
|
They're all black.
|
|
Those afros.
|
|
I can't.
|
|
They're all black.
|
|
Oh, sorry, baby.
|
|
They had their chance and they fucking got me with the blacks.
|
|
Tristan left.
|
|
He left, didn't he?
|
|
He left us here to suffer by ourselves.
|
|
He said he couldn't do it because of the blacks.
|
|
He did, yeah.
|
|
Are we leaving or are we staying?
|
|
I even gave him zins to get him through the rest of the movie.
|
|
We have to stick it out.
|
|
We have to soldier it.
|
|
Is your motivation dropping off your willpower to endure Snow White?
|
|
Nigel, I can't see you at all.
|
|
It's time to leave.
|
|
So I'm not here.
|
|
Alright, I vote.
|
|
We... Let's do a vote.
|
|
Yusuf. Yusuf, are we staying or are we leaving?
|
|
Stay. Stay?
|
|
Stay. Leave.
|
|
Alex. Leave.
|
|
Leave, leave.
|
|
Alex. Leave, of course.
|
|
See you, Yusuf.
|
|
I win.
|
|
I win.
|
|
Get the fuck out of here.
|
|
This is bullshit.
|
|
I need light on him.
|
|
This is the best day of my life.
|
|
Wow, I was going to fall in love with a mouthy brown, girl.
|
|
Wow, a mouthy brown.
|
|
I mean, great.
|
|
Snow White.
|
|
It's so nice to meet you.
|
|
So Tristan left.
|
|
He took the Mercedes.
|
|
I'm not kidding.
|
|
He took the car.
|
|
So Tristan took the car.
|
|
We're stranded.
|
|
Tristan actually took the car.
|
|
Tristan's taking the car.
|
|
Tristan needs to come back.
|
|
He's cheating.
|
|
He's cheating.
|
|
No, it's fine.
|
|
Everything is fine because we watched Snow White and we all have the power of friendship now.
|
|
Snow needs.
|
|
Uber? Uber.
|
|
How sick.
|
|
I found the next movie for us all, guys.
|
|
We're going to rent the whole cinema again.
|
|
We're going to rent the entire cinema again and we are going to watch...
|
|
Bambi! Bambi tonight!
|
|
I fancy a bit of Bambi.
|
|
Why are we leaving though?
|
|
We can just stay here forever and watch Disney movies.
|
|
I know he's got a beard, but he's actually eight years old.
|
|
That's why he's so small.
|
|
I'm 100% undefeated SkyChank!
|
|
Let's go SkyChank!
|
|
Oh yeah, I'm full of shit!
|
|
I mean, no, I should've fucking made it!
|
|
Fuck you!
|
|
But that's also why we go to jail.
|
|
Black genetic.
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