| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
A Happy World Out Here
00:02:51
|
|
| I shoot up a school. | |
| I'm joking. | |
| Luke's Oreo. | |
| Luke! | |
| He'd be king of the world. | |
| Lord Luke. | |
| I'm a fucking genius. | |
| What are we doing? | |
| Come to the USA. | |
| We can't go to the USA. | |
| Why? | |
| Two weeks ago, I was walking to my house. | |
| I know. | |
| My haters must hate me. | |
| They must hate me. | |
| I'm so fucking cool. | |
| You know what? | |
| I really think no one hates you, though. | |
| Genuinely. | |
| The haters hate me, but they're just online trolls in their life. | |
| They don't exist. | |
| In the real world. | |
| It's a happy world out here. | |
| It's a happy world out here. | |
| Everyone's happy in the real world. | |
| At the club, I was talking about six girls starting walks up. | |
| Thanks to all of them from me and I just left. | |
| I was sad. | |
| That's why I disappeared. | |
| Friendship's worth more. | |
| Yeah, friendship's worth more. | |
| Let's bury the hatchet. | |
| Just if I'm talking to someone, just back the fuck up. | |
| I know you're handsome and Richard and me. | |
| Both are very true. | |
| I'm not like you. | |
| You're a different level. | |
| Dude, I saw a video of you as like, "C is for Casino" or something. | |
| Yeah, but I'm trying to stay rich now. | |
| I already made it out. | |
| I've done it now. | |
| I'm done. | |
| I still gotta get my Bugatti, bro. | |
| That's why I'm gambling. | |
| And then when I have Bugatti, then I'm out. | |
| Alright, cool. | |
| Here we go racing. | |
| Let's go. | |
| I love you! | |
| Say safe! | |
| Just school main First he | |
| goes Next he comes This past This | |
| past | |
| Ladies and gentlemen, after three rounds, we've got to give the school fathers a position. | |
| All of the free champions who are this contest. | |
| We are out. | |
| Sometimes you just feel tired. | |
| You feel weak. | |
| You feel tired. | |
| You feel like you want to just give up. | |
| But you got to search within you. | |
| You got to find that inner strength. | |
| And just pull that shit out of you. | |
| And get that motivation to not get away. | |
| And I'll get you when it hurts. | |
| And I'll add you when it's broken. | |
| Right on your feet. | |
| So I collapse. | |
| I'm spilling these raps. | |
| As long as you fill them. | |
| To the day that I drive. | |
| You'll never say that I'm not killing them. | |
| Cause when I am not, then I'm going to stop pinning them. | |
|
Motivation To Not Give Up
00:12:57
|
|
| And I am not. | |
| How you doing, sir? | |
| Good. Thank you. | |
| Yeah. How you doing, sir? | |
| Good? Thank you. | |
| Can I lock it with the Chiyo? | |
| With the Chiyo print? | |
| Oh, the hat! | |
| He needs the hat, he needs the hat. | |
| He's the hat man. | |
| How's that cat? | |
| It suits you. | |
| Can I take her on a picture? | |
| Sure. | |
| I'm actually Mr. Excited now. | |
| You know the thing that's exciting me the most? | |
| What? | |
| The fact that the music's already too loud and annoying me and I'm about 500 meters from the club. | |
| Nice. | |
| Very excited. | |
| I can't listen. | |
| Andrew, Andrew! | |
| Andrew! Andrew! | |
| Andrew! Andrew! | |
| How American is this? | |
| Zero American. | |
| 100%. | |
| 100%. | |
| You can't be a cowboy. | |
| You don't have a cowboy hat. | |
| Take your hat. | |
| Good morning to you too. | |
| Is that what we do now? | |
| Good morning, Parker. | |
| This is your kid. | |
| So admit we're American. | |
| Oh, we're super American. | |
| Admit we're American. | |
| Tiffany, Andrew, Andrew. | |
| Yeah, there's been a few racist Twitter posts. | |
| Me too. | |
| I'm racist. | |
| I don't mind. | |
| You can say anything. | |
| I'm super racist, though, I'm swear. | |
| Is there anything more American than driving from Las Vegas to Los Angeles and stopping at a 50s diner halfway through the desert? | |
| I feel as American as can be right now. | |
| I might buy a monster truck. | |
| Might shoot up a school. | |
| Okay, nice. | |
| I'm joking. | |
| A.G. of Florida, I'm joking. | |
| And A.G. of California. | |
| But yeah, I feel American. | |
| What else can I do that's American? | |
| Me jerking. | |
| Drone strikes? | |
| Who should we drone strike? | |
| Luke, your cousin? | |
| Luke, admit you're sick. | |
| Luke's dying. | |
| Luke, admit you couldn't live in a volcano. | |
| It's just too hot. | |
| Do you admit it? | |
| That's true. | |
| He admits it. | |
| You know why this has happened? | |
| The Oreo! | |
| Luke's Oreo! | |
| Luke! | |
| You ate the Oreo, and now you're sick! | |
| I told you it would've been a completely different reality if only you weren't so gluttonous and greedy. | |
| If he could control himself in front of a fucking pack of cookies, instead of having a complete loss of all cognitive function, like a child, he'd be living in a completely different world right now. | |
| He'd be king of the world. | |
| He'd be king of the world. | |
| All the nations would've united under Lord Luke. | |
| Instead, he's sitting outside a diner, dying of a cold. | |
| Because he couldn't fucking help himself and he ate the Oreo. | |
| Look, eat peppery beef jerky. | |
| What'd you get? | |
| You got some beef jerky? | |
| I'm gonna have beef jerky when I'm about to have the greatest food on planet Earth. | |
| Those are in fucking America. | |
| Beef jerky and Slim Jims. | |
| That is pretty American, not gonna lie. | |
| That damn right, Lou. | |
| You ain't nothing more to have a dog, I've been crying all the time. | |
| Well, you ain't never going to rap it and you ain't no friend of mine. | |
| Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, | |
| oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. | |
| Well, they said you was high and clanged. | |
| Well, that was too high. | |
| We're going to want something American. | |
| What's American? | |
| A cheeseburger? | |
| A milkshake or a cheeseburger? | |
| Whatever it is, I order it. | |
| It has to be American. | |
| Does it get more American than a burger and fries? | |
| Good question. | |
| Huh? | |
| Good question. | |
| I think we have seven. | |
| Yeah, we have two more. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| Thank you. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Are they sitting down? | |
| A King Kong Monster Burger. | |
| Half a pound. | |
| It goes well, please. | |
| Okay. Thank you. | |
| Quit copying. | |
| I want to copy you. | |
| Why would I want to be like you ever one day in my life? | |
| I wouldn't poison you just to get good content laughing at you while you're poisoned. | |
| I'd never do that. | |
| Give yourself a double thumbs up and a pat on the back. | |
| That will cheer you up. | |
| Do you feel better? | |
| Are you sure? | |
| You look like you feel better. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Cheers, fellas. | |
| To Luke's health. | |
| Oh, cheers. | |
| This place must cringe. | |
| Worked it out fast. | |
| See, I'm a fucking genius. | |
| I trust you. | |
| Who is? | |
| I'll order mine. | |
| Just admit, I ordered the very thing. | |
| I admit. | |
| So you admit it? | |
| Sure. | |
| You admit it, yeah? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Because I'm not scared of you. | |
| I don't want a whole lot of it. | |
| You're not a tough guy. | |
| There's no salt on your crackers, sir. | |
| There is no salt on your cracker. | |
| I admit it. | |
| I admit it. | |
| You're the greatest. | |
| There's no salt on my cracker. | |
| Got him. | |
| We'll climb the sinker. | |
| What do you want? | |
| No. | |
| It's diabetic poison in a glass. | |
| And this morning, when I said, you want breakfast, blah, blah, blah, he said, I'm not going to eat any sugar today because sugar is going to make me feel sick. | |
| That's what he said to me. | |
| You know why I didn't mind? | |
| It's like when women accuse men of being, "Oh, you're in charge of everything." | |
| We're perfectly fine, thank you. | |
| Tell me what would make Luke feel better. | |
| You know what would make you feel better, Luke? | |
| Tricking a pint and a straight vodka and then going out and sitting in the desert sun for 13 hours. | |
| You know what would make you feel better? | |
| Driving straight back to Vegas, taking all the money you have and spinning it at the casino wheels. | |
| Transport your mind to a future reality where your body's not sick anymore and exists inside of that reality and you have a brand new consciousness where you don't go to sleep. | |
| Easy. | |
| That's it. | |
| In a week you're not going to be sick, so just forward your brain. | |
| Fast forward like a cassette player. | |
| Blink through the space-time continuum. | |
| Blink enough times. | |
| Even a week from now. | |
| So just forward your brain up. | |
| You're fine. | |
| You know what actually makes you feel better? | |
| I'm not joking. | |
| If you drank this whole thing of Tabasco, that would definitely cure you. | |
| Can you admit if I was sick like you, I'd do that. | |
| Andrew, admit it. | |
| Probably do it. | |
| I would do it. | |
| If you drank all this Tabasco, it would make you feel better. | |
| I guarantee it. | |
| Oh, oh, oh, oh. | |
| How long before Tristan asked me for a deep-fried pickle? | |
| I would like a deep-fried pickle, please. | |
| That was pretty instant. | |
| I've made the best choices so far. | |
| I admit that I would like a deep-fried pickle, yes. | |
| I'm not sure about the root beer float, but I completely admit that I need a deep-fried pickle in my life. | |
| You know what, old buddy? | |
| Sure. | |
| I'll even give you some dipping sauce. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Did you do that because you don't like them? | |
| I did it because I felt sorry for you. | |
| Because I've never seen such a tiny little man living such a pathetic existence. | |
| That's why I gave you that. | |
| Okay? | |
| I knew this. | |
| My self-esteem was at an all-time fun. | |
| This will cure gluten. | |
| Luke, the acidity of the pickle kills germs. | |
| Who ordered those? | |
| Everything I've ordered so far, he's eaten. | |
| He's refusing to admit I've made the best order. | |
| I ordered them. | |
| Give me what I mean. | |
| I can't do that. | |
| We've come to the crushing realization that cousins are just scams. | |
| There's no such thing as a cousin. | |
| It's just something your parents, siblings, children do to hang out with you. | |
| They made up the word. | |
| Running a scam. | |
| Luke, is that true? | |
| Scammed his way in using that old line. | |
| Gave it a title like it matters. | |
| called himself my cousin. | |
| That was so shitty! | |
| I wish we could recreate that. | |
| Why are you laughing? | |
| That was so bad. | |
| Luke is tired of your bullshit. | |
| Bullshit? | |
| That was a good one. | |
| You may laugh at one of my jokes like that in a couple days. | |
| And I repeat. | |
| Luke, a curly fry will make you feel better, because F stands for Feel Better Luke. | |
| Yeah, fries begin with F, and F stands for Feel Better Luke. | |
| You should really eat an onion ring. | |
| Because onion begins with O, which we all know stands for, oh, why won't you feel better Luke? | |
| Cheese will make you feel better. | |
| Because cheese begins with CH. | |
| And as we know, that stands for Cheer up and feel better, Luke. | |
| You should drink some water. | |
| Water begins with a W. And as we all know, W stands for Won't you please feel better, Luke. | |
| Luke, you should really drink a milkshake. | |
| Milkshake begins with M and as we know M stands for make sure you feel better soon Luke Yeah | |
| And T stands for tired of seeing you feel sorry for yourself, Luke. | |
| Luke, you should look that way. | |
| Bailey's pointing a camera at you. | |
| And as you know, camera begins with a C. And C stands for Can't She Just Cheer Up and Feel Better Luke? | |
| plays* | |
| I'm gonna challenge you. | |
| It's all in my own. | |
| Eat a fucking Skittle, you cunt! | |
| I'll never talk to you again for the rest of my life! | |
| I ate everybody white! | |
| Living like this isn't an accident. | |
| The private booths at UFC, surrounded by champions. | |
| The best tables at the most exclusive clubs. | |
| The freedom to wake up one day in Dubai and end the night in Beverly Hills. | |
| This life is built, earned, One. | |
| But most people, they just watch. | |
| They watch from the cheap seats while the real players sit cage-side. | |
| They walk past luxury hotels while others check in without thinking twice. | |
|
Real Players Sit Cage-Side
00:00:40
|
|
| They scroll past stacks of cash, diamond watches, and first-class flights, wondering why it's never them. | |
| Because they never start. | |
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