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March 19, 2025 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
16:31
The Road to LA | Tate Confidential Ep 278
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Time Text
I shoot up a school.
I'm joking.
Luke's Oreo.
Luke!
He'd be king of the world.
Lord Luke.
I'm a fucking genius.
What are we doing?
Come to the USA.
We can't go to the USA.
Why?
Two weeks ago, I was walking to my house.
I know.
My haters must hate me.
They must hate me.
I'm so fucking cool.
You know what?
I really think no one hates you, though.
Genuinely.
The haters hate me, but they're just online trolls in their life.
They don't exist.
In the real world.
It's a happy world out here.
It's a happy world out here.
Everyone's happy in the real world.
At the club, I was talking about six girls starting walks up.
Thanks to all of them from me and I just left.
I was sad.
That's why I disappeared.
Friendship's worth more.
Yeah, friendship's worth more.
Let's bury the hatchet.
Just if I'm talking to someone, just back the fuck up.
I know you're handsome and Richard and me.
Both are very true.
I'm not like you.
You're a different level.
Dude, I saw a video of you as like, "C is for Casino" or something.
Yeah, but I'm trying to stay rich now.
I already made it out.
I've done it now.
I'm done.
I still gotta get my Bugatti, bro.
That's why I'm gambling.
And then when I have Bugatti, then I'm out.
Alright, cool.
Here we go racing.
Let's go.
I love you!
Say safe!
Just school main First he
goes Next he comes This past This
past
Ladies and gentlemen, after three rounds, we've got to give the school fathers a position.
All of the free champions who are this contest.
We are out.
Sometimes you just feel tired.
You feel weak.
You feel tired.
You feel like you want to just give up.
But you got to search within you.
You got to find that inner strength.
And just pull that shit out of you.
And get that motivation to not get away.
And I'll get you when it hurts.
And I'll add you when it's broken.
Right on your feet.
So I collapse.
I'm spilling these raps.
As long as you fill them.
To the day that I drive.
You'll never say that I'm not killing them.
Cause when I am not, then I'm going to stop pinning them.
And I am not.
How you doing, sir?
Good. Thank you.
Yeah. How you doing, sir?
Good? Thank you.
Can I lock it with the Chiyo?
With the Chiyo print?
Oh, the hat!
He needs the hat, he needs the hat.
He's the hat man.
How's that cat?
It suits you.
Can I take her on a picture?
Sure.
I'm actually Mr. Excited now.
You know the thing that's exciting me the most?
What?
The fact that the music's already too loud and annoying me and I'm about 500 meters from the club.
Nice.
Very excited.
I can't listen.
Andrew, Andrew!
Andrew! Andrew!
Andrew! Andrew!
How American is this?
Zero American.
100%.
100%.
You can't be a cowboy.
You don't have a cowboy hat.
Take your hat.
Good morning to you too.
Is that what we do now?
Good morning, Parker.
This is your kid.
So admit we're American.
Oh, we're super American.
Admit we're American.
Tiffany, Andrew, Andrew.
Yeah, there's been a few racist Twitter posts.
Me too.
I'm racist.
I don't mind.
You can say anything.
I'm super racist, though, I'm swear.
Is there anything more American than driving from Las Vegas to Los Angeles and stopping at a 50s diner halfway through the desert?
I feel as American as can be right now.
I might buy a monster truck.
Might shoot up a school.
Okay, nice.
I'm joking.
A.G. of Florida, I'm joking.
And A.G. of California.
But yeah, I feel American.
What else can I do that's American?
Me jerking.
Drone strikes?
Who should we drone strike?
Luke, your cousin?
Luke, admit you're sick.
Luke's dying.
Luke, admit you couldn't live in a volcano.
It's just too hot.
Do you admit it?
That's true.
He admits it.
You know why this has happened?
The Oreo!
Luke's Oreo!
Luke!
You ate the Oreo, and now you're sick!
I told you it would've been a completely different reality if only you weren't so gluttonous and greedy.
If he could control himself in front of a fucking pack of cookies, instead of having a complete loss of all cognitive function, like a child, he'd be living in a completely different world right now.
He'd be king of the world.
He'd be king of the world.
All the nations would've united under Lord Luke.
Instead, he's sitting outside a diner, dying of a cold.
Because he couldn't fucking help himself and he ate the Oreo.
Look, eat peppery beef jerky.
What'd you get?
You got some beef jerky?
I'm gonna have beef jerky when I'm about to have the greatest food on planet Earth.
Those are in fucking America.
Beef jerky and Slim Jims.
That is pretty American, not gonna lie.
That damn right, Lou.
You ain't nothing more to have a dog, I've been crying all the time.
Well, you ain't never going to rap it and you ain't no friend of mine.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Well, they said you was high and clanged.
Well, that was too high.
We're going to want something American.
What's American?
A cheeseburger?
A milkshake or a cheeseburger?
Whatever it is, I order it.
It has to be American.
Does it get more American than a burger and fries?
Good question.
Huh?
Good question.
I think we have seven.
Yeah, we have two more.
What are you doing?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Are they sitting down?
A King Kong Monster Burger.
Half a pound.
It goes well, please.
Okay. Thank you.
Quit copying.
I want to copy you.
Why would I want to be like you ever one day in my life?
I wouldn't poison you just to get good content laughing at you while you're poisoned.
I'd never do that.
Give yourself a double thumbs up and a pat on the back.
That will cheer you up.
Do you feel better?
Are you sure?
You look like you feel better.
Thank you.
Cheers, fellas.
To Luke's health.
Oh, cheers.
This place must cringe.
Worked it out fast.
See, I'm a fucking genius.
I trust you.
Who is?
I'll order mine.
Just admit, I ordered the very thing.
I admit.
So you admit it?
Sure.
You admit it, yeah?
Yeah.
Because I'm not scared of you.
I don't want a whole lot of it.
You're not a tough guy.
There's no salt on your crackers, sir.
There is no salt on your cracker.
I admit it.
I admit it.
You're the greatest.
There's no salt on my cracker.
Got him.
We'll climb the sinker.
What do you want?
No.
It's diabetic poison in a glass.
And this morning, when I said, you want breakfast, blah, blah, blah, he said, I'm not going to eat any sugar today because sugar is going to make me feel sick.
That's what he said to me.
You know why I didn't mind?
It's like when women accuse men of being, "Oh, you're in charge of everything."
We're perfectly fine, thank you.
Tell me what would make Luke feel better.
You know what would make you feel better, Luke?
Tricking a pint and a straight vodka and then going out and sitting in the desert sun for 13 hours.
You know what would make you feel better?
Driving straight back to Vegas, taking all the money you have and spinning it at the casino wheels.
Transport your mind to a future reality where your body's not sick anymore and exists inside of that reality and you have a brand new consciousness where you don't go to sleep.
Easy.
That's it.
In a week you're not going to be sick, so just forward your brain.
Fast forward like a cassette player.
Blink through the space-time continuum.
Blink enough times.
Even a week from now.
So just forward your brain up.
You're fine.
You know what actually makes you feel better?
I'm not joking.
If you drank this whole thing of Tabasco, that would definitely cure you.
Can you admit if I was sick like you, I'd do that.
Andrew, admit it.
Probably do it.
I would do it.
If you drank all this Tabasco, it would make you feel better.
I guarantee it.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
How long before Tristan asked me for a deep-fried pickle?
I would like a deep-fried pickle, please.
That was pretty instant.
I've made the best choices so far.
I admit that I would like a deep-fried pickle, yes.
I'm not sure about the root beer float, but I completely admit that I need a deep-fried pickle in my life.
You know what, old buddy?
Sure.
I'll even give you some dipping sauce.
Thank you.
Did you do that because you don't like them?
I did it because I felt sorry for you.
Because I've never seen such a tiny little man living such a pathetic existence.
That's why I gave you that.
Okay?
I knew this.
My self-esteem was at an all-time fun.
This will cure gluten.
Luke, the acidity of the pickle kills germs.
Who ordered those?
Everything I've ordered so far, he's eaten.
He's refusing to admit I've made the best order.
I ordered them.
Give me what I mean.
I can't do that.
We've come to the crushing realization that cousins are just scams.
There's no such thing as a cousin.
It's just something your parents, siblings, children do to hang out with you.
They made up the word.
Running a scam.
Luke, is that true?
Scammed his way in using that old line.
Gave it a title like it matters.
called himself my cousin.
That was so shitty!
I wish we could recreate that.
Why are you laughing?
That was so bad.
Luke is tired of your bullshit.
Bullshit?
That was a good one.
You may laugh at one of my jokes like that in a couple days.
And I repeat.
Luke, a curly fry will make you feel better, because F stands for Feel Better Luke.
Yeah, fries begin with F, and F stands for Feel Better Luke.
You should really eat an onion ring.
Because onion begins with O, which we all know stands for, oh, why won't you feel better Luke?
Cheese will make you feel better.
Because cheese begins with CH.
And as we know, that stands for Cheer up and feel better, Luke.
You should drink some water.
Water begins with a W. And as we all know, W stands for Won't you please feel better, Luke.
Luke, you should really drink a milkshake.
Milkshake begins with M and as we know M stands for make sure you feel better soon Luke Yeah
And T stands for tired of seeing you feel sorry for yourself, Luke.
Luke, you should look that way.
Bailey's pointing a camera at you.
And as you know, camera begins with a C. And C stands for Can't She Just Cheer Up and Feel Better Luke?
plays*
I'm gonna challenge you.
It's all in my own.
Eat a fucking Skittle, you cunt!
I'll never talk to you again for the rest of my life!
I ate everybody white!
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