| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Draw-Off Challenge
00:15:40
|
|
| What are the odds? | |
| Very low. | |
| How would that ever happen? | |
| That little Toyota is a different vehicle. | |
| Yeah, you know what? I will get in here. | |
| It's about getting out though. | |
| Hi friend! Hi friend! | |
| God is good. | |
| God is good. | |
| Wine time. | |
| Fuck you, man. | |
| Come to the other side. | |
| Don't scratch my car, by the way. | |
| He can't get in his car. | |
| Ha ha ha. | |
| Turn in the void. | |
| Turn in the void. | |
| He makes me turn. | |
| In the void. | |
| Turn in the void. | |
| Turn in the void. | |
| He makes me turn. | |
| Turn in the void. | |
| Turn in the void. | |
| To give the rhythm of this dance very short. | |
| Count the galadins. One, two, three, four girls. | |
| He was cancelled by the Matrix for telling the truth. | |
| Gauden. Yeah. | |
| First of all... Big art guy, huh? | |
| Yeah, he was cancelled by the Matrix for telling the truth. | |
| He had the Gauden, some girls. | |
| He had a watch, I had a watch. But let's cut the bullshit and be deadly serious. | |
| Who was actually a better artist? | |
| Me or someone or nothing. | |
| No bullshit. No jokes. | |
| Deadly serious. I know it's too confidential, but I want to be actually serious now, baby. | |
| Who was actually a better artist? | |
| I was going to say me. You. | |
| You're not even in this race. Tristan, this is the first time I've seen you out of the house in weeks. | |
| That's not true. What brought Captain Fun out of Funland? | |
| It's because I don't hang around with you. I'm out of the house all the time. | |
| You're just not invited. And sometimes he said something about Hitler at that period, something good about Hitler when it looked like he was very... | |
| because he was in the surrealistic medium where most of them were jewels. | |
| So they punished him for speaking his mind? | |
| Yes, they said you are a fascist. | |
| You are an antisemite, more than that. | |
| Did you go to jail? No, no, no, no, no. | |
| Ah, just me. You went to the USA. Just me. | |
| No problem. But in the USA, I understand he designed all the costumes for the Rockefeller and... | |
| It was the J.D. Rockefeller and the Rothschild Ball. | |
| He designed all the costumes for them, didn't he? | |
| In France, he took this contact with the haute couture medium. | |
| He met Coco Chanel, he met Elisashka Parelli, he worked with a model, then Amanda Lear. | |
| After that she was a singer, but first she was a model. | |
| How did you get Captain Fun out of the house? | |
| Turns out he leaves for the very fun things like this. | |
| Listen buddy, I challenge you to a draw-off. | |
| You and me. I think you're something. | |
| Right here, right now. | |
| We're going to have a draw. We're going to get paper, we're going to get pencils, we're going to have a draw. | |
| I'm not seeing anything more beautiful than my Ferrari, or my Bugatti, or my Lamborghini, or my Bentley, or my RS7 Audi, or my Audi RE. I just followed. | |
| I don't see anything more beautiful than this. | |
| What about my Pagani, my Koenigsegg? | |
| Yeah, we've got gloves. Captain Fun, what do you think of the art? | |
| That is the most famous. Everyone would know what that is. | |
| Everyone knows what it is. These aren't for sale, are they? | |
| No, no, no. | |
| They're not for sale. They're 18 carats gold with diamonds and rubies and everything you see. | |
| It's amazing. Who canceled him? | |
| It was the Jews who didn't want him to talk anymore? | |
| Why was he canceled? | |
| He could not be canceled. | |
| He just flew and found another space where he could speak. | |
| His mind and his will. | |
| But they tried to shut him up, right? | |
| He tried, but... | |
| Right. | |
| No problem. He found who was creative enough. | |
| Got to think outside the box. | |
| Aikido. To defeat the matrix. | |
| Find a new way to express yourself. | |
| In terms of acceptance. | |
| This is St. | |
| George with the dragon. | |
| Story of my life. It was made in 1977. | |
| There's only 350 of them. | |
| Only 350. | |
| And it was commissioned by him. Yes, I'll buy it. | |
| You want the support also? | |
| Do I want the support also? | |
| Where are you going to put the Salvador Dali thing? | |
| New house, bookshelf, in between all my books in the new house. | |
| He has a vision. | |
| He has a vision and he spent $151. | |
| Yeah. Yeah, buy it. | |
| Let me pay for it first. I'll put it on card and my security guard will carry it. | |
| What can you do? You need one now. | |
| Do I get a more expensive one than him? | |
| Do it. Do it. | |
| Don't start with Salvador Dali flex off. | |
| It's been a while since we've had a Salvador Dali flex off. | |
| It's been a while. Is that even a thing? | |
| It is now. Tristan, when you get home, we're going to have to do the Salvador Dali dance. | |
| Look at him now discussing how to pay all this. | |
| Everyone's confused. Like, 151 grand, why are you... | |
| And he's sitting there like, oh yeah, what do you want? | |
| Probably got cash in his pocket. | |
| I'm going to make him do a Salvador Dali dance for this. | |
| That's my retribution. Did it with the Rolls Royce. | |
| What are you guys doing? Oh, you've never seen this before? | |
| No. Men like you, anyone else have seen this? | |
| A few people? Very few. | |
| Very few. This is called the New Rolls Royce Dance. | |
| He does it with all the other cars. | |
| He has to do a Salvador Dali dance for the money he's just spent. | |
| Or it won't be a take-confidential episode. | |
| Teach him a lesson. Why are they wrapping his Salvador Dali? | |
| He's actually buying this. I think you should show him up. | |
| Do I show him up? | |
| Yeah, I'll be very honest. | |
| I'm going to break the fourth wall. | |
| Hello, people at home. I'm strongly considering buying this piece of art I do not want for the Tate Confidential episode for the episode alone. | |
| I'll never use it. I'll never appreciate it. | |
| I'll probably lose it, but I'm thinking of doing it just to make a good episode of Tristan bought Salvador Dali, and then I came along and bought more Salvador Dali, and we're Salvador Dali superfans, Salvador Dali flex off. | |
| I'm considering it. | |
| Back in character. You won't f***ing buy it! | |
| I don't think it's possible. | |
| You don't take tips? I don't dare take you so much money. | |
| Please, please, please, we appreciate the tour. | |
| Come on! I appreciate it. | |
| Well, I'll leave it here and stay there forever if you don't take it. | |
| I did it with my colleagues. | |
| Thank you very much! | |
| It's most generous of you! | |
| Thank you! No problem, you did a very in-depth thorn. | |
| You really know your stuff. Smart people are doing your work. | |
| I told Emilia that she's a really good guy. | |
| Thank you! We're very glad that you really enjoyed it. | |
| I don't know what to say! | |
| Thank you! She doesn't have words anymore. | |
| Thank you very much for the talk. | |
| We appreciate it. We enjoyed it very much. | |
| Oh yeah! Thank you! | |
| Thank you. | |
| How heavy is it? | |
| Easy with that. | |
| I'm strong. | |
| Do you need any help? | |
| No, perfectly fine. | |
| Thank you very much. Sorry for the left hand. | |
| Don't worry. Don't worry. | |
| It was a pleasure. | |
| Yeah? You know what? | |
| Left hand handshakes used to be the sign of Soviet spies. | |
| Yeah, I know. | |
| So, bad luck. I don't like to shake your hand. | |
| Andrew, please, please. | |
| One photo altogether. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Please, please. I'm a little sweaty. | |
| I love you so much, Andrew. | |
| I love you so much, Andrew. | |
| A few moments later. | |
| What are you wearing? | |
| What do you mean? | |
| Do you think you're Salvador Dali? | |
| You're not Salvador Dali. | |
| I'm not. As a serious art collector, I decided to ditch my conventional style and spice things up a little bit. | |
| You know? You get one piece of art and now you think you're some big shot art collector. | |
| Think I'm a big shot art collector! | |
| That cost me $35,000. | |
| Do you have $35,000 worth of art, Bailey? | |
| I am the artist. I'm going to take my new hobby seriously. | |
| I'm not here to be a fucking laughing stock for the likes of you. | |
| I am the artist, Tee. | |
| Listen, Bailey, I'm going to count to three, and you better apologize. | |
| Un? Deux? | |
| I refuse. You know what? | |
| I have an idea. Andrew challenged me to a draw-off. | |
| He and I Can have art draw off, and whoever's art is worthy enough can go into your collection. | |
| How does that sound? Well, as a serious collector of art, as you can tell from the way I'm dressed, I feel like I'm the only person qualified to referee this competition. | |
| Let's go. Let's go! | |
| Let me see what I got. Tristan now thinks he's some big shot art collector, okay? | |
| So, I know you and I had our little beef moment where we said we were going to have a draw off, so I think now is the perfect time. | |
| I challenge you to a draw off, and whoever is his best, he is going to put in his acclaimed art collection. | |
| So, you're going down. | |
| If I were to punch you as hard as I could. | |
| My shoulder wouldn't work and I couldn't draw. | |
| I would snap your sternum. | |
| I don't even know what surgery that would require to fix. | |
| I'm not disagreeing. | |
| I want you to know that before we begin this fucking draw. | |
| I ain't scared of you. | |
| Let's go, pussy. Let's go. | |
| Alright, Tristan. T, let's do this. | |
| I hear you are in need of my Is this because of that ugly statue you bought? | |
| I'm a serious art collector. | |
| And I'm embracing my hobby by changing my style slightly. | |
| Is this because I buy too many cars and you're just wasting money now to try and get me back? | |
| I don't know what you are talking about. | |
| Alright, this is already getting out of control. | |
| So, let's just do this draw off. | |
| Let's get this over with. | |
| If Bailey beats me, I'll snap his sternum and I'll go back to work. | |
| Well, as the most qualified man in the house, I'm the ref. | |
| I'm gonna tell you two what to draw on the count of trois. | |
| And you go for it. Okay? | |
| Pens and paper at Zeretti. | |
| On guard. Alright Alex, take the camera. | |
| Take the camera. Nigel. | |
| I'm gonna sit over there. Of course. | |
| I'm going to stand here as the independent adjudicator. | |
| I've got to scoot that one. I've got to take a seat at it. | |
| Of all the things I could be doing with my time, which is extremely valuable by the way, | |
| Sorry, what time? | |
| I know one of the K watches is pocket watches only. | |
| Where the fuck did you get a pocket watch? | |
| I've always had a pocket watch. | |
| I'm not even going to ask questions. | |
| At Zerate, you will have 60 seconds to draw one another. | |
| No! | |
| Bailey, you draw Andrew. | |
| Andrew, you draw Bailey. | |
| On the count of trois. | |
| Oh! | |
| I've seen it! | |
| I've seen it! | |
| I'm so scared! | |
| I've seen it! | |
| This is scary! | |
| I've seen it! | |
| This is so scary! | |
| Trois! | |
| Alright, alright. | |
| How long do we have? | |
| 60 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Oh, shit! | |
| It has been 15 seconds. | |
| Shit. Shit's right. | |
| It has been 30 seconds. | |
| You have 15 seconds remaining. | |
| I'm going to start. | |
| Are you ready? | |
| Let's see. It's you in jail. | |
| Let's see. It's Andrew in jail. | |
| In mid defeat. Andrew, can you show your art You win. | |
| Tiny neck. Tiny neck and a Bible and skinny legs. | |
| Let me see. | |
| I admit defeat. That's so accurate. | |
| I declare the winner! | |
| Of this draw-off. | |
|
Build Different!
00:00:14
|
|
| Monsieur, and you take it. | |
| I was gonna break your fucking stereotype! | |
| You are lucky you lost this competition, so then at the fucking end you, you pencil-neck fuck! | |
| Build different! Never lost a fucking game! | |
| Never lost a game! | |