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May 5, 2024 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
09:30
Thank Tate It’s Friday | Tate Confidential Ep 229
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Time Text
Guys, it's Friday night.
We can't be sitting in the house like we do every single day.
Let's go. Let's go!
If I were to punch you as hard as I could, directly in the chest, as hard as I could, I guarantee I could snack your sternum.
Well, at least I'd be sent out of the house for once.
Why do we just sit in our house?
We are so rich, and we just sit in the house and do nothing.
We can't let Captain Fun influence us.
Is it Captain Fun's fault? It's Captain Fun's fault.
He's probably going to bed. It's what, 9.30 on a Friday?
It's definitely his bedtime. Is he here?
No. Is he outside?
No. Fuck knows where he is.
He's in Funland. Funland being his bedroom.
Alright, fuck it. Let's go out and just try and rustle fun out of the universe.
So we don't have a plan, but we're gonna go find the plan.
Our plan is to get into some very expensive cars and to bring out huge stacks of money and then just...
you know?
I got all the money that I want off Luke Barnett from poker, so money's covered.
Let's do it. Tonight out is on Barnett.
Let's do it.
Let's go.
Turn in the void, void, turn in the void, void, turn in the void, it makes me turn.
I'm looking for you.
I can't believe you're standing right here where I want you.
After all that I've been through, you don't know what I've been through.
Gave in, didn't he?
So much for that fuck gas.
Me and Luke were the real fuck gas heroes.
Fuck gas! Fuck gas!
Fuck gas!
Now look at Tristan. My Maserati needs gas.
That is one beautiful Maserati.
Shame it's being driven by a total fucking pussy.
I need gas when my car stops.
What are you, fucking gay?
What are you, fucking gay?
I don't know what to say.
What are you, fucking gay? That was pretty gay.
The internet thinks you're talking to him.
What are you going to do, fight me?
Fight me, fight me, I don't care.
Can't wait to hit the club.
We're going to turn it up.
Sparkling water, please.
Hey, at least Captain Fun made it out.
You have a weird private joke and I don't know what it is.
I'm not interested. Tristan, why don't you have some bread? Because I don't need a vehicle for my butter.
You took my joke team.
I wrote this joke myself.
That and it's Tristan Tate original.
It's also not a joke.
If you say it as a joke, you don't really live the butter life.
You're not really about the butter.
You're a fraud. A fake.
A phony and a charlatan.
Admit we're bread men. I don't need a good food for my butter.
You can't be butter man unless you eat the rest of that butter right now.
Then I'll admit you're butterman.
Sara Price is buttering me up for a masterpiece and it's true.
We don't know what that means to you.
We have no idea what that means to you.
I'll play along. Let me explain it to you.
Maybe 16 years ago, I knew somebody by that name and she was making very attractive business proposals to us but we knew that in the end if we decided to do the business that we'd end up losing lots of money.
Because it was all just a big famoose.
So we used to say, Sarah is buttering us up for a big famoosing.
And we said that around the office 60 years ago in Dunstable, England.
Now you obviously don't understand Tristan and I's private jokes, but I can say to Tristan, Sarah is buttering us up in the middle of a business meeting and people will have no idea what I'm talking about.
Now they do. But Tristan will know exactly what I'm talking about.
And now you know. I've had a really good idea.
What I need to do is hear me out.
We poison everyone in the house in their sleep.
Andrew, do you want to get in on this?
We kill Bailey, Nigel, Alex, the other Alex, Yusuf, everyone.
And then we chop them up and create a Frankenstein where we take one of Yusuf's hands and one of Bailey's hands so they can use a camera.
You know? Nigel's legs to be fast runner.
He's flat. But it will also make him late.
Half of Alex's brain, so he knows his medicine.
You see what I am? And we name this person Super Friend.
Then if we take this person with us, it saves us running on plane tickets, restaurant bills.
We consolidate all existing friends into one mutant.
Half of Bailey's glasses.
Yeah, what half of his glasses?
A monocle. A monocle.
The Bailey monocle. Yes.
It would create a super friend with all of the best traits of everyone.
But none of the additional baggage.
What are you laughing at?
Cause Tristan's just got the room now.
Playing Led Zeppelin.
Soaking his fucking cigarette in our cigar.
And he's fucking drop top mad as fuck.
What the fuck's going on? Me and him grew up with no money.
Bailey.
We had no money, no car, no food.
We were completely broke.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Bro, we would sit there, I need 400 pounds this month for rent.
We had fucking nothing.
Why is this happening?
Nothing makes sense.
Alright T.
Nice. He's ruining our fun.
Or maybe he's a part of the fun. It's definitely your mate.
Hey. Take me to jail.
Take me to jail. All the rest of it is just talk and papers.
Once you've been to jail, it's like, I'll give you a ticket.
What piece of paper? I must talk to you.
Talk. Are you going to take me to jail or not?
Take me to jail. Take me to jail.
That's all you can do is take me to jail.
Can't shoot me. Hang on a gun on me.
You won't get away with that in Romania. You know I'm unarmed.
You took all my guns. D-call.
So just take me to fucking jail. You are half black.
True. That does make me a...
Oh, great. What are they doing?
Standing men.
Let's become standing men. All night.
Till the sun comes up.
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