TATE GETS ABANDONED BY TRISTAN AND LUC | Tate Confidential Ep 168
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I'm not your cousin. You're not my cousin.
And I feel like if you Aikido to sit for a second You'd be instantly cured
I'm gonna stay nice and low This is not as hot down here. Isn't it?
It's hot. This looks hell.
This doesn't look fun for you.
It's nice and cool down here.
Nice low. I'm at one.
I'm not. I'm nice and cold.
You're definitely not. I am.
You down here? Yeah.
Down here is nice and really nice and cool.
Stand up for one second and you'll feel very pain.
I know. No, thank you.
No deal. So you're a little pussy ass bitch.
I just like the cold.
Oh, that is vastly different.
Tristan, I know. Tristan, I know.
Vastly? Tristan, I know.
It's like a ten times difference.
Now he went back up to hell.
So what would you two do if I used my Aikido hands to create a water vortex tornado so powerful that it sucked you both under and you drowned?
I wouldn't care. You wouldn't care.
I wouldn't care. No, no, no.
I'll stop. I'll stop. Sorry, bro.
I was kidding. I was kidding.
I'll stop. I'll stop. No, no, I'll get it.
No, bro. Luke, I'm not going to do it.
I know. Relax. No, I wasn't worried about you.
It's fine. Look at this beautiful view. But wouldn't you drown yourself as well?
No, because what I would do is anti-Aikido.
The other way. So you're saying Aikido can create a powerful vortex that drowns the other people in the pool?
Yeah. But not yourself.
Well, a man with that level of Aikido...
Look at this beautiful view, guys.
We can't be sitting here talking dumb shit with this beautiful view.
It's not dumb, though. It is, it's dumb.
I'm turning this way and facing the wall.
Yeah, you know what? I already was doing it, and I don't think Take Confidential needs to see the view.
Nah, I think you do, because guys, the view's too nice to be...
Should I, Luke? Should I? Nah, look at this nice view.
Luke, should I get in? Maybe.
Wait, can you make sure it doesn't get me?
Oh, I'm not sure.
I'll stop. Don't worry, bro. Don't worry, bro.
I'll stop, mate. I'll stop. It was just a joke.
Seriously, no.
Calm down. No need to worry.
Get that upset look on your face.
I'm not going to do it. So now, I really can...
TakeOver Denture could never see the view behind us, ever.
No, that's not true, though. If I still wanted.
Yes, you were inside. And they could just see the wall.
You were the boss of them and what they see.
There's a reason I wanted to look over there.
It was a trick. Because there's something over there that you've noticed.
Oh, I noticed. I immediately noticed.
I'm still not turning. Well, Luke, you need to see this.
No, I don't. I think you do, Luke.
I don't. We have a nice view here.
Look, record the bee. He's just fucked himself.
Where? Here. A bee.
He's just fallen in the water and fucked himself.
Where? My Aikido tornado was not powerful enough to suck you down because it didn't start yet, but it got the bee.
That doesn't make sense because the bee was outside the water.
Don't let the bee out. Flick him.
Fuck him. Don't save him.
Bees are cunts. Don't save him, you dumb- He could- He definitely just got saved.
Trusive, why'd you fucking hit him?
Luke, you're slowing down. You've always been the slowest.
Every time we go anywhere, you turn up last.
We notice that. Why is that?
Because he's slow. What?
Let me tell you something, Luke. Bad news.
Early bird to get the worm.
This food was the last food.
And now the kitchen is closed until 7pm.
Five hours. And we thought, do we save Luke some?
Or do we eat every single scrap of food?
Every single scrap of food on the table.
That's just sauce and salad.
It's calories and ketchup.
I got ketchup for you, mate.
Leave my fucking mayonnaise alone.
It's like driving in Romania.
Same thing. So last night we were chilling with Dan and we drunk enormous amounts of Ignite tequila.
And I feel absolutely not really terrible in every single possible way, so what we need to do is like, maybe we can just stay here, it's idyllic, and we can just lay down and just...
Or, we can get in the supercars and drive top speed through the Alps.
Wait. No, this doesn't make sense.
No, but there is no spoon. You don't need your brain to function.
You need to just accept the reality.
Well, I'm your brother. I'm not your cousin.
You're not my cousin. And I feel like if you Aikido'd for a second...
You'd be instantly cured and ready to go.
Right. Okay. So, all right.
So now we're going to get some supercars.
We'll drive really fast and we'll go to like another luxury hotel and we're going to do some booze.
Oh yeah, get some booze. Wait, no.
What? That doesn't make...
No. No more booze.
In France, into Italy. Famous for its Prosecco.
Nice. Six bottles each. Nice.
Check it. Fuck France.
Go to Italy. Do Aikido. More booze.
More booze. Oh.
Makes sense to me. Roman booze.
Let's go. So the STO doesn't have booze.
It clearly cannot be the best car anymore.
I thought it was a contender.
Can't be a contender anymore.
If you literally can't put a backpack inside of the car without having to use the passenger seat, it can't be the best car.
And to be fair, If you had, even your case would be a bit annoying for the passenger.
That's as small as it gets.
This is as big as luggage can get in this car.
Literally, can't get bigger than that with any comfort at all.
It's the worst road-tripping car.
Yeah. Good race car.
Not a road-tripping car.
So you did no filming this. But to be fair, Luke, although you're useless, you did no filming this.
Yeah. Hey.
Hoppin' in, bitch, and I start the V. Snakes in the grass, so they harder to see.
My brother would give up his light to the old.
He told me he'd go be a martyr for me.
Said that she ready to counter the six.
I hit up Pauline, the charter to pee.
Ain't really leave, but I'm back.
I'm back. I'm back.
I'm back. I'm back. I'm riding around in Atlanta with Sav.
Cause that nigga been going harder than me.
Nothing to change, I'm just harder to please.
Ferrari is making an SUV. We ain't got a choice, we ordering these.
Shout out Noel for recording the Vs.
He know where this shit bout to go Cause nobody touching the flow They say you alone at the top But it's gotta be lonely below You boys getting ready to die But don't even mention it I may have forgotten to film.
I didn't film any of the drain.
I didn't film any of the bargain items.
Zero. Zero.
What were you doing on your father's day?
Just, you know, things. Metaverse things.
You know? I know.
I know. It's actually, it's fine.
I forgive you. I'm a forgiving man.
I forgive you. All you have to do is drink some beer.
No, no. Booze is pure poison.
That's not forgiving. Booze is the ultimate of all evils.
Now we would get immune to it.
No, it's not. No.
I've tried that. Tried that move.
You need to fight. You need to fight in the mouth.
No. Someone clip in every single time I try to fight to become acclimated to booze.
That was great content, Luke.
That was great content. I fucking hate booze.
It's pure poison.
I've tried. I've aqua-vented the supercars.
Super cars are loose.
This is the way to land the baby. It's not long.
So we can't work out the gas pumps for it.
It's all in Italian and they keep declining our cards even though there's money on them and then every now and then they say you know what I won't decline this time.
So the machine called you a Rejecto.
Yeah, Rejecto loads at times, and then like, look, and now it's printing out all our receipts.
Try it again, Luke. Try it again. Here's your card.
Try it again. All right, we'll try it one more time.
What's your name? Wait, let's see if Mr.
Rejecto gets rejected. Okay.
Hold on, let's go work. I do dance, the Italian dance.
I taught Joy Prego. Tentative penis.
Transacciona negativa.
That's all good. Estar a carte.
Por favor. Por favor.
Okay, that didn't work.
Operación anuala.
So you're fucked. Didn't work again.
It's your failure. Look, I don't need gas.
I know a trick that you guys aren't aware of.
No, no, no. Fuck gas works. I'm gonna say fuck gas.
Listen. Fuck gas.
I don't need gas. Fuck gas.
Fuck you.
So, just explain how Mr.
Goode worked. Shut up.
Because I know you think that I'm Mr.
Goode now. No one knows.
No. So the way...
We went to new viewers. Yes, they were.
We are going to be doing a race.
I'm Mr. Goode.
You're Mr. Goon. I am Mr.
Goon. Can you show the old names why you're calling yourself Mr.
Goon? Mr. Goon.
Found this in the car.
And clearly, I would be Mr.
Goon if I wore this hat.
Who else would wear this hat?
Take the ticket. Who?
Who should take the ticket? Take the fucking ticket.
Who should take the ticket? Mr.
Goon. Mr. Goon, take the ticket.
It's not this. Hopefully we didn't lose the ticket, babe.
No, we didn't. These are Mr. Goon.
Mr. Goon never fails.
So, Mr.
Goon was the incarnation of a hat.
Once you wore it, it completely became a part of you to where you became Mr.
Goon. It's a bit like, what's the Spider-Man enemy?
You know, the leech thing that goes on you.
I don't want Spider-Man.
I really have no idea.
Venom. Venom.
It's like Venom.
It was you and a half of it. No, no.
That? Pass me the tickets at the toll stations.
Did Mr. Goon ever fail you?
Yes. No, he never did.
You do not have...
Do you have video evidence that Mr.
Goon has ever failed you ever?
I don't record as I drive.
Correct. So, we can all agree that there is zero evidence at all to substantiate this claim that Mr.
Goon has ever failed. Because I can tell you from personal experience, he has never failed ever.
Not once. Not even half a percent failure.
Never failed ever.
He is failure incarnate. No, he's not.
Mr. Goon has never failed.
You're right. This isn't Naushkaard, is it?
It's not an asphalt.
It's not really asphalt, dude.
Why did you pause?
It's that bubblegum.
40% discounted.
Super bubblegum.
Haha. I mean you'll never financially recover.
I might never financially recover.
You can get any Italian food. Go get some pizza.
Cheetos are Italian food. Are they Italian?
Cheetos? Cheetos.
Cheetos. Cheetos.
There you go. Cheetos are Italian food.
Nice if you grow up. Fuck this.
If you admit that your name's Big Dummy and his name's Small Dummy, I'll go by his name.
Alright. No, don't admit that.
My name's Dummy. His name is Small Dummy.
That was your name. Big Dummy, I don't mind that much.
Big Dummy, I'm big. You have to be Small Dummy.
That's much worse. I'll take that L. You can't take the L. Only one of my words is bad.
In exchange for pizza, I'll give you two bad bugs.
See my mate. Save me.
I'm gonna just use all of it so none of you guys can't have any.
Nice. You can have one grain of salt.
Actually, I don't want any of that salt.
Tristan, eat it. Eat it as well.
We're both attackers.
Now, it's my grand conspiracy.
The poison salt trick.
You never would have seen it coming.
Admit it. Admit it.
You never would have suspected it.
She is your agent working for you.
Correct. Planted here for multi-months.
Waiting for the time we come in this exact location.
Get on my Cheeto pizza.
I think if I punch Luke in the face really hard, I'll be happy.
It's worth a try.
It's not. It's not worth a try.
What's the downside? Well, we're all Luke.
Loads. Punch him as hard as I can.
What's the downside? He's not driving.
There's loads of downside. You lose the best cameraman in the world.
Luke, there's literally no downside to us.
You have to eat all the downsides.
So, I think we should just let Andrew know that we don't need gas.
I think we should say fuck gas and just drive off.
I agree. I agree.
You know what? We have half a tank.
I don't know if we'll make it there, but I do know that if we scream fuck gas enough, it'll work anyway.
It will be very funny. It will be worth it.
You know what? I've run out of gas before.
Worth it. Worth it every time.
Andrew! Andrew!
Andrew! Important! Fuck gas!
Fuck gas! Fuck gas!
He said it doesn't work because it didn't work for him.
What a loser. Yeah, I mean, I was there too.
It didn't work for me either, but Tristan, I believe in your powers.