| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Not Real?
00:02:42
|
|
| Good shot there from Tate! | |
| A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true. | |
| But I'm not a girl. | |
| I'm a girl. | |
| you you What is this? What do you mean? | |
| Does Manele replace girls? | |
| What is this? | |
| That's not real. | |
| What does he mean it's not real? | |
| Rory, we're not Romanian. | |
| I know I'm an LA party man, I see what you mean. | |
| The next day... | |
| I'm going to the mall. | |
|
Burning Down the House
00:14:50
|
|
| Who needs you? | |
| The fuck is that? | |
| Call that drink, Luke. | |
| This is Romania. What the fuck is that? | |
| We're in San Diego. We're in fucking Romania. | |
| We don't dream like Americans in San Diego. | |
| Fucking America! | |
| I'm a superman! | |
| I'm a superman! | |
| And that's it... | |
| Bachelor Party Challenge And that's it... | |
| Bachelor Party Challenge And that's it... | |
| Have we lost our minds? | |
| Yeah. We could just burn down the house. | |
| That would get us. That'd get all of us. We've decided to burn down the house. | |
| Okay, so for the record, we're now burning down our house. | |
| We are. We've lost it. | |
| The isolation's gotten to us. | |
| We're burning down our house. And we're burning it down. | |
| I'm bound for that. What else is there to do? | |
| Who needs a house? Yeah, we don't need a house. | |
| Nice hall outside. | |
| Yeah. Yeah. | |
| Let's go take all the money we have in cash. | |
| Ow! I don't know. | |
| I'm losing my mind, dude. We do have enough wood to burn down the house, I think. | |
| Do you have any marshmallows? | |
| I don't know. Cold beers? | |
| Yeah. Cans? | |
| Hands and wash the house burn down. | |
| Ow. Have we lost our minds? | |
| Quarantine bro. | |
| This is what happens. | |
| The bottle is going to pop out. | |
| Nice, it started. | |
| It started, yeah. | |
| It's a little bit of a mess. | |
| Almost collapsed in. | |
| What are you, a firefighter? | |
| You might be. This is a firefighter. | |
| Is that a move? I don't think that's a move. | |
| I don't think that's a move, T. I think it is. | |
| T, I think that's a machete move. | |
| I'll burn myself alive. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Just kidding. | |
| Almost. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's getting there. | |
| It's nearly there. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Why is fire fun? | |
| Super fun. Even just watching this is fun. | |
| For some reason. | |
| Before man had TV, fire was man's entertainment. | |
| Yeah. Yeah. And hose. | |
| We've got no hose. Right now. | |
| No hose, no laser speed, nothing. | |
| Ah! Yeah, it's burning. | |
| Fire's hot, heard that. | |
| Nice. Nice, this is a good fire. | |
| At this rate, boys, we will burn the house down. | |
| Look, it's what we deserve. | |
| We don't deserve this much. | |
| I need your help. | |
| These cans, the Red Bull cans, all the bits of plastic. | |
| New grass, new stones, everything in the garden. | |
| That's going to happen in a couple days. | |
| I need you to take all the rubbish and help me throw it on the fire. | |
| Big fire day, we're burning all the rubbish. | |
| Everything. Most of the stuff I've already put on the fire. | |
| What do you want me to do with that bike over there? | |
| That bike? Right. | |
| Andrew, last summer, got obsessed with fucking bikes. | |
| Oh, we need to buy bikes and ride around Haristrow Park. | |
| We need to buy bikes and ride around Haristrow Park. | |
| He would not shut up about having these fucking bikes. | |
| Why? I don't know. | |
| He just had this idea in his head that it'd be nice to ride bikes around. | |
| I said, let's just fucking walk. | |
| He wanted the bikes. So... | |
| We get the bikes, and we're too lazy to put them together, so we get my personal assistant to assemble the bikes for us, because we're lazy. | |
| She's obviously a woman, Georgiana. | |
| So puts them together, wrong. | |
| Just badly. They were badly put together bikes. | |
| So we put both bikes in the back of the fucking BMW X6. We drive down to the park. | |
| When I didn't want to, I wanted to go drink a cocktail, see some hose, smoke a cigar. | |
| We start riding these bikes around and halfway around the park, about four miles into the journey, the bikes start falling apart. | |
| Chains falling off, handlebars falling off. | |
| So the bikes completely fell apart. | |
| So I left the bike in the park after stomping the shit out of it. | |
| And then Andrew was like, oh, well, we need to get proper bikes to do it again. | |
| Then he bought this bike, which works perfectly fine. | |
| And I never bought another bike. | |
| And he's never ridden that once. | |
| So... What you're trying to tell me is... | |
| The bike can go on the fire. | |
| Don't burn the bike in the fire. | |
| It's like a 300 euro bike that he bought and it works perfectly. | |
| Yeah, but it's rubbish. It is rubbish. | |
| So let's burn it. Let's not burn the bike. | |
| Fuck it. Fuck it. | |
| Before he comes out, come on. Are we doing this now? | |
| No. Don't burn the bike. | |
| Fuck you. Didn't you guys used to be broke? | |
| That bike's expensive. | |
| You can tell. It is a nice bike. | |
| Yeah, it is quite nice. | |
| Lovely, actually. You can even see, like, the treads on the tires have never been used. | |
| It's a good bike! | |
| Have we lost our minds? | |
| I'll teach you a fucking lesson for making me... | |
| It's Andrew's bike. | |
| Yeah, fuck Andrew. | |
| He never burnt a bike before. | |
| We could have donated the bike. | |
| Yeah, we are. We're sacrificing it to the gods. | |
| Oh, yeah, I'm gonna donate a bike during quarantine when no one's allowed to ride bikes. | |
| That is true. That is fair. | |
| Yeah. He's gonna ride a bike during quarantine. | |
| Ah, it's already started melting. | |
| Good. That's what he gets. | |
| Too late now. Aw, things are burning rubber. | |
| Yeah. Woo-hoo-hoo! | |
| Do we keep burning the bike? | |
| Yeah. Yeah. What do you want to do? | |
| Get it out of the fire? It's too late now. | |
| keeping a nice distance away so blew up twice T Both tires have popped and started to melt properly now. | |
| You know, I like to make quite good firewood. | |
| Obviously I'm putting black smoke all over my car. | |
| Hey. I told them it was a bad idea. | |
| Burn all the rubbish in the garden, you said. | |
| You did say burn all the rubbish in the garden. | |
| Yeah. So this is the game now. | |
| To set people's stuff on fire again. | |
| Looks that way. Looks that way. | |
| I've got nothing left to lose. | |
| Don't worry about it. Look, bro. | |
| You said anything we're not using, we can burn. | |
| Anything we don't use... | |
| You said burn all the rubbish in the garden. | |
| You rode that once last year. | |
| It's burning really well. | |
| I thought it would just heat up a bit, but it's actually melting. | |
| I'm impressed. No problem. | |
| Poor bike. I'm at one second turn. | |
| Remember this episode, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| Why have you got your hands in the swimming pool? | |
| you When you set my bike on fire, the tire exploded, sent flaming rubber everywhere, landed on my hands, and you can see when I try to remove the burning rubber, I lose the skin on my hands. | |
| So not only did you burn my bike, you severely burnt my hands. | |
| Why do you do this to people's hands, Tristan? | |
| You fucked up his hands, and then he fucked up my hands. | |
| Why don't you just let it burn and come sit and have a beer? | |
| What are you gonna be Captain Fire for? | |
| The fireman. He is. | |
| In the house. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So you burnt your hands on the burning bike, which I burnt. | |
| You burnt my hands. No, the bike burnt your hands. | |
| You didn't stay within a safe distance. | |
| You never burnt a bike before. | |
| There shouldn't be exploding rubber. | |
| Why? Who burns bikes? | |
| Look, you said get rid of all the rubbish in the garden that we're not using. | |
| I was gonna use it. | |
| But you weren't actually using it at the time. | |
| Well, have a beer. That'll switch your hands, probably. | |
| Beers will fix your hands. | |
| Nice cold one. Can't wreck the heat. | |
| I didn't know you were opening a gay bar in our fucking house. | |
| What do you mean? Red Bull. | |
| Red Bull. Yeah, Red Bull. | |
| Fucking Red Bull. | |
| Bullshit. Beer? | |
| No. You don't want another beer? | |
| If I go and get beers, no one's gonna drink them. | |
| Oh. Why would I want beer? | |
| Because it's a nice, hot summer's day. | |
| Everyone's quarantined in their flats, and we're enjoying the hot summer sun, and we're relaxing with our friends. | |
| Yeah, and Red Bulls. | |
| I'm getting you beer. Fucking almost. | |
| I don't want a beer. You do want beer. | |
| Why does he always do this? | |
| Every time. I have a question for you, Luke. | |
| Yeah? In the future, Tristan will want his wallet. | |
| With his bank card. | |
| Do you think at some point in the future, Tristan's gonna want his wallet? | |
| He might. But he's not using it right now, is he? | |
| He's not. He's not using it now. | |
| Yeah. I'll take that. | |
| What are you doing? No, bro. | |
| You guys have gone mad. | |
| Listen, I had future plans for my bike. | |
| Soak the fire a little. | |
| There. | |
| Put some wood on top. | |
| Why do you guys do this? | |
| Bye! | |
| He's not using it. Which means he obviously had no intention of using it at all, did he? | |
| It's true he wasn't using it at the moment. | |
| There we go. Go on, we'll sit by the pool. | |
| Too much smoke on there. | |
| For you? For you? | |
| I didn't want this. You did! | |
| It remains to be on a Sunday fucking afternoon. | |
| Out with your friends! Cheers. | |
| Fuck Luke. Alright, cheers. | |
| Cheers then. Cheers. | |
| See, isn't this nice? | |
| Isn't this better? It is, isn't it? | |
| Fire's picked up. Yeah. | |
| Fire's nice and picked up. | |
| Told you. Sunday afternoon, guys. | |
| What can be better? Baby oil is flammable. | |
| It turns out. This is fun. | |
| This is loads of fun. This is more fun than you could possibly imagine. | |
| You're watching at home, they know this is boring. | |
| This is loads of fun. | |
| What is that? | |
| It's baby oil. | |
| Oil has a movie. | |
| Ah, he got you there. | |
| I'm an oil. | |
| Bye. | |
| Thank you. | |
| I'm not talking to you. | |
| No, you can't start again. | |
| Start again from now. Rory, you got him. | |
| For fuck's sake, pick that up. | |
| Nice. Throw the whole thing on the fire. | |
| No, that'll blow up, I think. | |
| Throw it on the fire. | |
| What's up? That won't blow up. | |
| It must do something. That's super unimpressive, actually. | |
| Luke, scared of the world. | |
| I think everything's gonna blow up. | |
| No, it's a matter of fact. | |
| That's it. So we're in quarantine. | |
| Or no, we're in lockdown. We're in lockdown. | |
| Yeah, we're in lockdown. Well, today they told me my quarantine ended, but I got a penal case with the judge for breaking yesterday, so am I still in quarantine? | |
| Who knows? Who knows? | |