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July 21, 2022 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
14:13
WE REPLACED OUR COUSIN | Tate Confidential Ep. 28
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Good shot there from Tate!
A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
But I'm not a girl.
I'm a girl.
Thank you.
So basically, everyone remembers when Luke didn't know he was doing a fire near the flameworks.
He said I was going to buy Street Fighter.
I couldn't find the SNES thing.
So I had to buy an arcade machine.
So Luke, in his fear, decided to hurt his hands on purpose and have double hand surgery.
He formulated a plan.
To avoid getting busts up at Street Fighter.
So I buy an arcade machine to teach him about Yoga Fire.
Now he can't do his life.
It's true. I cannot.
Rick has no hands.
He's not out of fear. He is out of fear.
He's definitely out of fear. Here comes a new challenger.
Dal Sib. Dal Sib.
Yoga Fire, Yoga Flame.
Luke doesn't know what he's doing.
Luke doesn't know what he's doing. I'm Dalsin.
That's Dalsin. I'm Ryu, or Ryu.
You are nobody.
Because you've got no hands.
I'm not scared.
It's been power.
Our power has gone down.
Jacuzzi, the heating ain't on to the jacuzzi.
There's some kind of windstorm, some arctic windstorm.
It's an emergency. We're in an emergency situation.
We have no cameras in our war room.
Why don't we buy a backup generator?
That's a good idea. Look, that's a good idea.
All I know is, who's the idiot now?
Now we're not starving to death.
We've got the cans, we've got the wine, and we've got the whiskey.
He has a very good point. Thank you, Ron Paul.
Whiskey is not... We need power.
We need a diesel generator.
Listen, we need whiskey.
That's all we need. And if you observe the booze collection over here, this is just a fraction of the collection of fine boozes, which I have stashed in case of an emergency just like this.
Boozes? So I'm going to crack open this beautiful bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, get a few glasses, and we're going to sit down at the table and have a wonderful fucking time.
Emergency table booze.
We have ice cream. We need ice cream.
Ice cream's going to melt.
I'm going to go get some ice cream. It's okay to be.
Bring ice. All right, let's drink whiskey and smoke some bars in the powerhouse.
Obviously. Obviously.
Me and Andrew, we're not scared of having no electricity.
We once ran up an electricity bill so high in our flat in Dunstable that we couldn't pay that we called the electricity company and lied and said, oh, we just moved in.
We don't know. Yeah, this Tristan Tate is just, I don't know who he was.
My name is Andrew Tate, and Andrew tried to pretend he just moved in.
So then they said they needed to speak to the landlord.
So we got our friend Glenn, our friend, to call and say that he was our landlord when he wasn't to the electricity company.
And eventually they believed him and then they put us on an electricity meter.
So our electricity would go down.
20 pounds at a time would tick down until we get into a situation like this.
So I ain't scared of a situation like this.
Yeah, we lived this whole time. Oh, a few candles?
We lifted our electricity until the fucking money came in.
But we didn't even have emergency food or booze.
Emergency booze.
Yeah. You have no hands.
I'll have a smoke. I'll have a smoke.
I need ice for my whiskey.
Command the wench to bring ice.
Wench! Ice from the freezer.
Single word. Simple command.
Here we go. Now we go from the Cubans.
May as well smoke them. Three Cubans.
Me and my boys. We're on full of Luke.
Andrew. I'm going to smoke a big Davidoff.
No damning off, no suck me off.
We might be doing good. Let's see.
Let me tell you a story about the stoking future.
At some point in the next 10 years, you, me, and Tristan are going to be in some kind of car crash in the Mongolian mountains, and we're all going to have injuries.
And Tristan and I are going to continue to walk all the way, bus up, no fucking plasters, no cap, we're going to get to the end.
Your baby ass would be like, oh, but I haven't got casts.
I don't have plasma. No, but I wouldn't.
I'd walk. You'd die.
I would walk. Well, then take off your fucking thing.
You'd be walking in the Mongolian desert, bro.
You're either a hero or you're not a hero.
When I bust my hand, you put a picture in, I bust my hand.
I punched him in the top of his head.
I broke my hand. I continued to punch for 12 rounds.
I broke my hands in eight places.
I went in for fucking emergency surgery.
I put it on. And as soon as they said, you can't drive with a cast in validation insurance, I bought a fucking Stanley knife.
Cut it off and put on a glove, bro.
A witness to that story is flying in.
He'll be here in two hours. I've replaced you, Luke.
I'm getting a replacement, Luke.
One, because you're out of action because you cut your pinkies.
And two, because you look like a fucking geek with those gloves on your hands.
I can't hang around with you. We have to replace Luke until he removes the cap.
Take him off. Immediately.
Be a man. You look like a baby.
Oh, I can't look. For everyone watching at home, he's cut his pinkies.
That's why he's wearing... The tendons are cut!
Zoom in! Zoom in on these things!
Three tendons! Zoom in!
And two nerds! Pinkies!
With that amount of bandaging, you shouldn't have no pinkies at all.
Yeah. If they're still there, then you don't need that much.
Yeah, that's amputation level bandaging.
It's Romania! They don't know how to minimize the amount of bandages they use.
I blame the Romanians for the amount of bandages.
Take off. It's Romania.
The cast. You look like a geek.
You're bringing shame on this family.
You're bringing shame on this family.
I've let you into my household and into this family.
You're bringing shame on them. Alright, so if I take them off, I'm going to recast them.
But in a more effective manner.
There is no casting. There's no casting, bro.
There is. Take them off.
There is. Don't take them off.
Please don't take them off.
Luke, take off the cast.
Andrew took out the stitches in my head one day after I got them because they look stupid and I need to gel my hair.
So Andrew will take off your cast.
He's a professional. I'm a doctor.
I've got a PhD. In fact, right now let's post a photo in the series of you taking your stitches out of my head because that photo does exist.
I had them for one day, couldn't gel my hair, my hair looked whack.
I've got a PhD. Your hands are worse than my hair.
Take them off. I've got a bippin' hose degree, bro.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Take off the cast. We're staying in home.
So? And there's no one to impress.
There are people to disappoint, though.
Your lovely cousins who have let you come here and be a millionaire are upset with the way you're conducting yourself.
Because I have casts on.
Yes. You look like a geek.
Do I take them off? No.
And if you look like a geek...
You must be a geek. And you're hanging around me, looking like a geek.
Embarrassing me in front of Ronfold.
They are very impractical, however.
Yeah, it looks like a geek, yeah.
However. Shit, they are very impractical.
Very impractical, however.
Take off the castle. I'll go get Andrew and I, if Andy's taking them off.
For long term... What do you mean, no?
For long term... I could walk through the Mongolian desert without...
No, no. I could.
Now, if a doctor told you to sit still and don't walk, keep waiting, or die, no, I'm gonna walk.
Well, you're dying now of embarrassment.
And you're killing me along with you.
Is that a thing? Mm-hmm.
It's true that it is too much.
You look like a geek. You cut your pinky.
I cut my pinky when I was a kid.
What day is it? I cut my tendons.
Your tendons and I've stitched it together with a surgical thread.
They're stronger than ever. You've got Matt and you've got Invincible Bionic Tendons.
I don't believe they're stronger than ever.
I believe they are. I believe they used to be very strong.
Now they've got a week. Remember yesterday when I said we can't be cousins with such a punk and I was gonna replace Luke?
Luke! Come in!
Luke! Yeah.
Here we go. That's not Luke.
What do you mean? I'm here. I've known him for ages and his name's Rory.
No, I'm Luke. This is our cousin Luke.
I've officially replaced Luke.
He is. He's our cousin.
We've known him since we were kids. So this is Luke now?
This is Luke. Look at his hands.
What do you think this is a fucking game?
These are the hands of a cousin of ours.
Hate hands. They're not crab hands.
At least you could punch somebody. Here's Luke.
Come on, Luke. Welcome home. How's your mom?
How's Aunt Kathy? Is she good? She's good.
She's awesome. Is she good, Sophie?
Sophie's alright. She's doing well.
She's doing well. Awesome here. I'm glad of you.
I'm glad. Alright, ready to set my home, bro.
You know where your room is, yeah? Cool, man.
Bye, Gene. Gene Galloway.
Good damage, Gene.
Who are you?
Who the fuck are you?
I'm fucking Luke. I'm Tristan's cousin.
I don't have Luke.
Rubble, who is this guy? Luke.
I'm fucking Luke. How many times do I have to tell you I'm Luke?
What do you mean? What the fuck?
What's happening? Who's this fucking dude?
Andrew, who's this dude in my bed?
Ed, who's that dude?
He's Luke. I'm Luke.
Because no cousin of mine will still, five days later, have some bullshit crab hands.
How are you going to fight with them?
I'm not rolling with a guy who can't fight.
He can putz. Why is he wearing my jacket on?
He's Luke. Because I'm Luke, and this jacket fits me because I'm Luke.
He's Luke now. I don't know what you are.
No cousin of mine walks around like this.
Bro, Kings Luke What do you mean?
What's happening?
So, are we staying in or are we going out?
No, we're going out If Luke wants to have a drink, I'm with him I don't want a drink Who the fuck are you?
Luke, who's drinking?
Get out of my home This is just a random ad I'm not a random ad Tell this guy, you're gonna be fine with it You're gonna be my cousin Don't disrespect our family I don't know who you are You gotta help him, Luke Can you grab your glasses and cancel this?
Thanks bro Thanks cousin You make it look like he's fine He's actually pretending to be our cousin You've never seen such a tape!
Exactly! Cognac's good for me.
Alright, I'm gonna give you a dog last for this guy.
What's your name again, mate? Luke!
Don't copy Luke's name.
Look, Rory, just take a cough.
Who's his name? Rory.
Stupid fucking man. Stupid man.
I think parents must be in Sri Lanka, right?
Exactly. Oh my god.
Your mother is an esteemed university professor.
I'll be on the next flight back to the States if it's terrible.
I'm the only team I'm a man in a fucking bed.
Chinese guys! This is my food.
Why are you eating my food?
Look. Luke Freeman.
It has my fucking name on it. Who is this random man?
And why are you coming to eat my food now?
You need my conscious food?
You're trying to get my conscious food?
Seriously? Seriously? What the fuck are you doing?
Get the fuck out of here. That's something for you.
You can have it in here.
Who is this man?
I don't have to spark this stranger, but I'm building.
Who is this man? Ron Paul!
Bro, you're not going to stop this!
Ron Paul, you know me. Man that Luke, innit?
Obviously. Thank you. Help yourself, guys.
It's on me. I paid for it.
No. I put my name on the receipt.
See ya, that's funny. I see ya.
Luke Freeman. Not random cut in my house.
On the receipt. Thanks.
This is Luke's Chinese.
Yeah. What are you doing? What? This is Luke's Chinese, bro.
His name's on the fucking receipt.
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