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July 8, 2022 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
05:42
Tate on Shower Gel
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Right, I'm aching a little bit.
I feel a little bit... It's been a long time I've been away.
I've been two months on the road.
Two months I've been on the road!
From Bucharest to LA, LA to Dubai, Dubai to Texas, Texas to London, London to Belgium, Belgium to Germany, Germany to Czech Republic, Czech Republic to Slovakia, Slovakia to Romania.
So during all that time, all I was doing was two or three hundred push-ups a day to try and stay in shape.
And I got back and I did a proper workout and now I can barely move.
That's what happens.
Anyway, today is going to be a very unique Tate speech because this is going to be the first Tate speech in history I use notes.
I know that's unlike me.
Normally all the brilliant information just flows from my super brain.
But I don't want to get anything wrong.
I'd be very, very specific because the beef I have for this particular Tate speech is a particular one.
So I've already tweeted about this.
If you don't follow me on Twitter, I don't know what you're doing.
I get banned all the time, but my current Twitter is here at the bottom of the screen.
And I tweeted something which had people inspired.
My beef for this TakeSpeech episode, and I can't be as animated as normal because it's hard to move, is with shower gel.
I have a genuine problem with shower gel, and my problem with shower gel is that it's a fucking ripoff.
Everyone always uses shower gel.
What the fuck is this with shower gel?
I'm a soap guy.
Give me a bar of soap.
Oh, you can't use soap on your face.
Why?
Why can't I use soap on my face?
What's gonna happen?
Am I gonna die?
I can use soap on my face and my hair.
You can use a bar of soap.
So I'm a bar of soap, dude.
But as the world's become more pussy, along with everything else, people have become shower gel guys.
Everyone's a shower gel dude.
Oh, can you get me the cherry blossom shower gel?
Like, what happened to the normal things?
I was a coffee guy.
A coffee.
Coffee, please.
Oh, cappuccino, latte, macchiato.
Just coffee.
Hot coffee.
Coffee.
The fuck?
Soap.
Everything's just so fucking fancy.
Pisses me off.
But shower gel pisses me off the most.
Because shower gel is the biggest con in the history of humanity.
Shower gel is the biggest rip-off ever.
And I've got the statistics because I conducted an experiment.
So what I did was I got a bar of soap, and I used that bar of soap until it expired.
So the bar of soap was no longer usable.
It was a little slither.
I used up to the very, very end, and it was no longer usable anymore.
And then I got a bottle of shower gel, and I used the shower gel to the end.
Have you ever noticed that with shower gel, it never actually lathers up properly?
Like, you get some shower gel, you put it on your face, and then you get it in, you squirt some more.
And then you go and squirt some more.
Like they deliberately don't even make it lather up properly, so you keep squirting more of that shit.
People still buy it.
So a bar of soap, the bar of soap I used was 19 cents.
We're talking euros here, 19 cents.
The shower gel I used was 1.99.
Now, the soap lasted six times longer than the bottle of shower gel.
So the bar of soap lasted six times longer than the shower gel.
So bear with me here.
You have a bar of soap for 19 cents.
You have a shower gel for $1.99.
But you need six shower gels to equal the amount of cleaning power as one bar of soap.
Six shower gels at $1.99 is $11.94.
$1.99 is $11.94, which means for $11.94, you could get 62 bars of soap.
So that makes shower gel 62 times more expensive than soap is. 62.
62!
Now what pisses me off about this is the following.
There is no tangible advantage to shower gel.
If you were to look at cars, for example.
A nice car is $20,000.
A Lamborghini is $200,000.
It's 10 times more.
But it's faster.
Everyone pays attention to it.
Everyone looks at it.
Everyone stares.
It makes noise.
You get credibility.
You get prestige.
You get respect.
All that is the extra you get for paying 10 times the price.
If you had a $20,000 car and you paid 62 times the price, You'd have a fucking plane.
It would be able to fly through the sky and cross continents.
That's what happens when you pay 62 times more for a product.
$20,000 for a basic car, 62 times more, now the car can fly.
10 times more, you have a Lambo.
Shower gel to soap, there is no difference.
I'm paying 62 times more for a product.
But it does exactly the same thing as the basic product.
For 62 times more, I expect to get in the shower with a whole bunch of naked hoes.
But you don't.
You get in the shower, and you're washing yourself.
The shower doesn't wash me.
I have to wash myself.
It's bullshit.
62 times more.
What a con.
So when I point this out, some fucking bumbaclot come at me and go, yeah, but the smell.
What do you mean the smell?
Just put aftershave on afterwards.
Just use a bar of soap and then put on some aftershave.
Done.
Why are you putting on a smelling shower gel and then covering yourself with aftershave anyway?
Has that ever got you laid?
Do you rely on the smell of cherry blossoms from shower gel to convince some 4 out of 10 to play with your penis?
Is that your tactic?
That's your game?
I go to dates in gym clothes.
With no shower.
But I pull up in a fucking Lambo.
Like, I don't need to change.
Oh, let me put my cherry blossom on my face.
You're all nerds.
Shower gels for worms.
It's a rip-off.
It's the biggest con of the century.
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