| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Dude's Scared of Bubbles
00:02:54
|
|
| I can't go through my life without getting angry. | |
| One dude orders sushi. | |
| Some other dude's scared of bubbles. | |
| Pussy ass dudes! | |
| We are filming in my cigar lounge. | |
| It's not yet complete, but this is a room in my house that's going to be specifically for cigars. | |
| It's a cigar lounge. | |
| We've got oak on the walls. | |
| We've got very expensive liquors. | |
| Not that I can tell the difference. | |
| Like whiskey, I bought a $1,000 bottle. | |
| Bought a $20 bottle. | |
| Tasted the same to me, but that's what you do when you're rich. | |
| I've got a cigar lounge in my house, because I'm a G. | |
| And that's going to lead on to the following point, that how the only water I drink is sparkling water, because sparkling water is for rich people. | |
| And I'll tell you why. | |
| You can get non-carbonated water, still water, from the fucking tap. | |
| The government gives you that shit, effectively for free. | |
| Sparkling water you have to buy. | |
| So if you only drink sparkling water, you only drink rich man's water. | |
| I explained this to someone, some Bumba Club, and of course he replied with the typical, but I don't like sparkling. | |
| You don't like sparkling water? | |
| You don't like water? | |
| Yeah, but the bubbles! | |
| The bubbles? | |
| You scared of bubbles, you little bitch? | |
| It doesn't taste of anything! | |
| It has bubbles in it. | |
| Oh, you're afraid of bubbles? | |
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | |
| This is another full-grown man. | |
| Fucking some other bitch. | |
| Just told you about how to fucking... I'm sitting... I can't go through my life without getting angry. | |
| I've got to meet people, business associates, etc. | |
| I go there, one dude orders sushi. | |
| Some other dude's scared of bubbles. | |
| Like, if a waiter comes over and goes, what water for the table? | |
| Sparkling, please. | |
| I obviously answer because I'm the fucking boss. | |
| And then some little fucking bitch, can I have a still? | |
| The fuck? | |
| Just drink the water on the table! | |
| You're a fucking man! | |
| You're gonna start making the waiter run back and forth and change water orders because you can't handle bubbles? | |
| Pussy ass dudes! | |
| You should only drink sparkling water anyways because it's what aristocrats like myself drink. | |
| The Lord of all beasts of the land and fishes of the sea. | |
| We drink sparkling water, and you should want to be like me because I'm a better person than you, so in every single possible tiny way you can emulate the great Andrew Tate, you should be doing the same things. | |
| Don't order sushi, drink sparkling water. | |
| But even if you are such a bitch, you won't choose sparkling water. | |
| When it's given to you, just fucking drink it. | |
| If I see a man, if you ever meet a man who's afraid of sparkling water, know this. | |
| He's certainly afraid of combat. | |
| He's certainly afraid of getting punched in the mouth and he's afraid of a fucking carbonated bubble. | |
| Little pussy ass dude. | |
| So if you're sitting there at a table and your friend won't drink sparkling water, he's not your friend. | |
| Because when shit hits the fan and you get jumped and you're getting stabbed by ten randoms, he ain't jumping in front of knives to save your ass like a good friend should if he's scared of fucking bubbles in his water. | |
|
Pour Out Sparkling Water
00:00:26
|
|
| Anyone who drinks still water is excommunicated permanently. | |
| For your safety, I strongly suggest you do the same. | |
| Get all your friends around. | |
| Call every friend you have right now. | |
| All of them. | |
| Invite them over for a party. | |
| When they all turn up, pour out sparkling water. | |
| Pour it all out. | |
| Pour it out. | |
| Say, everyone, let's have a glass of water together. | |
| Water can't hurt anybody. | |
| We're all probably dehydrated anyway. | |
| What's the worst water can do? | |
| Everyone, let's have a nice glass of water and everyone's gonna drink it. | |