If I'm gonna put something in my body, I want it to have a function.
Like, I need food to live.
And I need liquid to live.
But if I'm gonna drink liquids, I like to drink functional liquids.
When people drink non-functional liquids, I just think, why?
So I've limited my liquids that I consume to the following.
Water, because it hydrates me.
There's random few guys in my house making noise.
Too many women.
Anyway.
Water, because it hydrates me.
Coffee, because it gives me energy of some sort.
Or a Red Bull or an energy drink, because there's a point to it.
I might have an orange juice because it's got some vitamins in there, for example.
Alcohol, because I'll get drunk.
Like, if I look at a liquid, I like to see what's the end result of consummation besides the fact that it hydrates me.
That's the reason I don't drink Coke.
The fuck does Coke give you?
Nothing.
Why drink Coke?
Why the fuck would you spend three pounds on a Coke when you can have an orange juice, a coffee, and a water?
If you have an orange juice, a coffee, and a water, you get hydrated, you get energy, and you get vitamins.
You get three things!
You drink a Coke, you get absolutely fucking nothing.
Whatever you drink, whatever you consume in a liquid form should have a function.
Now, I'm not saying it has to be healthy.
I'm saying it has to be functional.
Alcohol's not healthy, but sure, I'll shoot vodka all night.
Which female keeps coming in and out the door?
Filming.
Woman.
Anyway.
It needs to have a function.
You can't be just consuming pointless calories, wasting your life fucking drinking away on your Coca-Cola like a fucking dickhead.
No.
Look at what you're about to drink and find a function in it.
Even if it's negative for your health, if it gets you drunk, that's absolutely fine, but functional liquids are the only thing you should be drinking, gentlemen.
We live in a hard world.
It's not easy out here.
You haven't got time to be consuming something that doesn't give you at least a chance of getting superpowers.
Like Mario.
When he gets a fucking mushroom, he grows big and strong.
He wouldn't just run around eating mushrooms that don't do shit, would he?
No.
Same with fucking liquids.
Food?
Yeah.
Food's food.
Whatever.
I'm not even a big believer in a strict diet.
I eat whatever the fuck I want.
Eat some fruit and vegetables.
Eat some fucking Kentucky Fried Chicken.
It all works out fine at the end if you go to the gym enough.