Theo Von celebrates "Bus Boys" screenings and Supercross's 26 million pounds of dirt before critiquing Trump's religious tweets and advocating for Sweden's crow vending machines. He supports sobriety stories from callers Alex and Matt, emphasizing the need to break cycles of loneliness. Ultimately, a caller shares their journey from childhood neglect to building a new identity through self-care and faith, illustrating that while fear of change is real, asking God for help in broken places allows us to write a better story than our past. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Thanking the Supporters00:02:00
My God, I got to get a haircut before a hunter shoots me.
This is a lot.
I want to say just a message just to thank everybody for showing up who was able to show up and check out Bus Boys in the movie theaters this weekend.
It means a lot.
We had just so many people that showed up and did something on social media or showed some love.
There was a guy who went by, he got to the theater, he was the only person there.
And so he sat in there with his shirt off and watched it, which is pretty cool.
My friend Richie, he's like, dude, I hadn't been to a movie in eight years.
And he went over there by himself and watched.
And I know that was a lot of people who I got messages from my friend Betsy, my teachers from growing up, just so many people, family, and you guys who are my family also.
And yeah, just the support.
I just felt supported.
And it was just, it was.
It felt a little spooky to try and do something you hadn't done and have everybody see it.
I'm going to be an Olympic diver or whatever.
And then everybody shows up for your first dive, kind of shit.
So, anyway, that might be a bad correlation.
But yeah, just thank you so much.
And I appreciate you.
And I appreciate your support.
And I hope that in our lifetime, I can return the favor.
Thank you.
And if you haven't gotten to see it, busboysmovie.com is expanding to more theaters, I believe.
And so you can check it out there.
And if not, it'll be somewhere where you can watch it online after that.
And yeah, thank you so much.
Also, Lexington, Kentucky, the home of Paul Revere, baby.
Bees on Spring Break00:02:12
I'm coming back for three shows one on Friday, May 1st, and then two shows on Saturday, May 2nd.
That's the return of the Rat Tour.
And I think that's the end.
That'll be the end of it.
I hope to see you there.
You can get tickets only at Theovon.com slash T O U R. Gang, gang, baby.
Buzz, buzz, baby.
It's springtime.
You know, I talk about springtime a lot, you know, because it's a time kind of for something new.
And the bees, you see them bees out there.
And them bees, baby, them things, they, you know, I saw a bee the other day because they're out there pollinating.
And they're pollinating, bro.
And that's when they're basically, you know what I'm saying?
They out there, you know, they're listening to Cardi B. They're out there.
They're out there.
They're on spring break, baby.
When they're pollinating, they're on spring break.
They're out there.
I saw one bee fly right out of one flower and just right into another.
Didn't even wash his hands after being in the first one.
I said, that's a lot for me, you know?
And he just went right into the next one.
Just cheating on a tulip with a daffodil.
He didn't even, you know.
And I could see he kind of stopped on the edge of the tulip.
He's like, Yeah, I'm going to call you.
I'm going to holler at you.
You know, I'm going to get at you.
I got to go to work or something.
And then he kind of buzzed one way and then skirt, bam.
And he was laid up with a couple daffodils over there, boy.
Because bees, they don't, you know, they just, they just trying to get their rocks off out there.
That's the truth.
But we need them.
We need bees out there.
You know, I ain't trying to be a snitch, but I saw a bee and a wasp running a little two man over there with a couple booganvilias.
You know, and them villas was booging, homie.
I mean, Shorty had some petals on her.
Dirt Bike Adventures00:12:05
You know what I'm saying, gang?
I'm upstairs.
But yeah, the springtime, man, I like the springtime.
I like it because it just gives me.
It gives me a reminder just that there's something new can happen.
That thing, that there's a refresh.
You know, that there's a possibility.
There's, you know, just that something new can happen.
And I really like that.
I like the springtime.
And that's how I feel about it.
And we went over to Supercross.
Now, I don't know if you've ever been to Supercross.
You know, because there's, you know, we all know there's the cross and that's what Jesus died on.
And that's the most popular one.
But, You know, and a little, well, a decent ways down from that, but still out there is supercross.
And that, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know anything about supercross.
I don't know if you know anything about it, but if you don't, if you don't know anything about it, then, then, then that's how I am.
That's how I, then you're, then we're the same because I didn't know anything about it, bro.
But those bikes, man, I walked into, I went to Nissan Stadium.
I went to Nissan Stadium.
A Nissan Stadium.
I thought you go in there, it's just a bunch of Nissans trying to, you know, looking for a place to park, or a bunch of Asian dudes with a bunch of tricked out Nissans in there, you know?
Because Nissan is Asian.
People don't realize that.
People think it's just a word that doesn't even mean anything, but it's Nissan.
Yeah, that's Asian, bro.
And so I thought it was going to be like that.
But the bikes, man, the bikes are just.
And then they have one little gay biker kind of pad by.
He'd be like, hey.
The engine, it's like, you hear like, and then a little gay biker would be like, who wants to come over to my place or whatever?
You're like, damn, that bike.
They got that thing tuned.
They got that thing tuned hot.
That thing's coming in hot, boy.
He just wants mechanics to come over and help it.
That bike was just like, I'm broke.
Oh, my engine's broken.
That's a trap, baby.
B's in a trap.
That thing's a trap.
So they got that.
They kind of bait that.
That bike gets put in because you got the other bikes just.
One guy broke his hole.
Neck, leg, everything.
He broke everything he had.
He had already broken, I think, his neck or something.
They'd taken part of his leg.
He said, and put it in his neck.
And I'm like, damn, this bitch out here leg necking.
And then I think he cracked that bitch on one of the turns, man.
It was, but it's intense out there.
Hey, who wants to talk?
You know, who wants to talk behind the gas tank?
You know, just, but anyway, a lot of different engines out there.
But it was fascinating.
And you know, and the bikes, the bikes that they use, the motorbikes, they're bitching, man.
Them bikes are bitching.
And I didn't think I would like a dirt bike.
Because, first of all, it's got dirt on it.
You know what I'm saying?
If somebody tried to get you involved with selling you another item and they say, hey, you want this dirt shirt or whatever, you want this dirt baby carriage.
You know what I'm saying?
You want these dirt tits?
You're going to say, ah, nah, man.
Miss me with that.
But a dirt bike, it just, I don't know.
It broke the mold, I'll say that.
Because if you look at the food, you know, the, what's it called?
Like a lion eats a dolphin or whatever the food chain.
When you look at the food chain of transportation, you don't think about a dirt bike.
Mostly when you think of transportation, you go, you start at the top.
You think fighter jet, plane, tank, truck, car, skateboard, piggyback.
I guess that's a mode of transportation, kind of.
Yeah, it won't get you far, you know, but you'll be better off than the guy you're riding on when you pull up, you know.
Then it goes dirt bike, hitchhiking.
And just wishing you were somewhere else.
And that's the echelons of transportation right there.
But one thing I also loved about Supercross is they brought in 26 million pounds of dirt for the event.
So when they made all the triangles, that's what it is.
When they made all those dirt triangles, they had 26 million pounds of dirt.
So that's just incredible.
And then I said to the guy, well, what do y'all do afterwards?
And he's like, well, we store it at different places around town.
I said, dang, bro, that's crazy.
They got that shit probably stored everywhere.
I say, look, rent out, you could rent out two corners of my house.
I wrench out two corners over there, stack a little bit of dirt in them bitches for $18, bro, $30, $40.
That's what I'm living like.
Because I'm saying if they got 26 million pounds of that to get to hide away, the guy said, Yeah, we just store it around town and we come back and get it next year.
I'm like, Dang, y'all coming back?
If y'all coming back to get that shit, I'll charge you $61.
I'll charge you $40 a month to keep that shit.
You keep eight pounds of that shit.
And I got a couple empty cupboards in the kitchen.
Ain't nothing in them bitches.
One of them has an air fryer in it.
I will fill that bitch up.
I'll keep 10 square inches of that damn dirt warm for you.
I'll keep some of that shit warm for you.
I'll air fry that shit.
And we'll get you back some quality dirt, bro.
And that's going to now be $50 a month.
But that's the kind of business we need if you come to my house, you say, look, hey, bro, hold a little bit of this dirt for me, bro.
I got you, gang.
That's who I am.
But yeah, I had a nice time over there, man.
And then, and just to go do something different, do something new.
I'd never been.
I just got invited.
I went over.
I got to meet some of the drivers.
Seth, there's a guy named Seth, a dude named Jet I met.
Eli, he kept winning.
And Mr. Stewart, he was in there, the boss, young boss.
But yeah, these dudes, bro, it's just like, I think the thing that was the most neat to me about it was that.
It felt like you were just a kid.
It felt like there's this kid thing of wanting to just ride your bike.
And that was pretty magical in there.
And yeah, people were just having a good time.
I think it's a great thing to take your family to.
I think you could go watching.
I don't work for them or anything.
I just went and had a nice time.
Separately from that, what did I do?
I went down and saw my stepdad, and I got to take him out for his birthday.
And we went over there down where I'm from.
Went to Mandeville Seafood over there.
I think they got some of the best seafood on the North Shore.
I think they really get it done.
I like they got a fried shrimp pole boy.
That'd be, ooh.
That beer.
Hey.
And I walked in, bro.
I could hear that fryer.
The fryer knew I was coming.
You could hear the fryer, that deep fryer, rub his hands together in the back of that beer.
He knew I'd walked in because I get it.
Boy, I will take care of some fried shrimp.
So if you have a fried shrimp problem in your area, hit my line, twin.
But so that was nice.
And my stepdad and I sat over there.
It's not my real stepdad, but he.
Kind of just been a big influence in my life.
I live with their family for a long time and blessings to him.
What else is going on?
Oh, I went to the farmer's market and that was fun.
And I like that farmer's market.
I like to see people making things and then you get to learn about the people that are doing it.
And it just feels like so much more of like a community than like an Amazon or something like that.
Yeah.
The comparison of getting something through Amazon and going to a farmer's market, it's not even a comparison.
You know, just the energy you get from seeing people and seeing them with their families, you know, especially a lot of farmer's markets, they start up around springtime.
And I know everybody can't afford a farmer's market.
I know some of the pricing is different, and some people don't have farmer's markets by them.
But if some people never even been to one, but.
Yeah, I just enjoyed it because also it gives me a different respect for the food.
You know, if I buy something that I've learned about and that I know where it's come from, I think I'm a, I think I engage with it differently.
You know, like, I don't know.
It's not.
Sometimes in my life, food has just been kind of.
I don't know.
I've just absorbed it or ate or whatever, just kind of nonchalantly.
I don't know the customer.
I don't know where the stuff's from.
I don't know, you know, what it is, what it's made.
I don't know anything about it.
So, what do I care?
But then, yeah, I think this was interesting just to get some stuff.
I got some milk over there.
And they'll milk anything in that bit, though.
I ain't going to lie.
Things you never even they got damn moon milk in that bitch.
I'm like, dang, somebody got up there and squeezed the biggest tit in the world.
You feel me?
God, somebody was up there just pushing, making that crescent drip, homie.
But they got everything in there grass milk, cat milk.
They was somebody at all just was just they had two dudes just milking each other, a couple gay dudes over there, bro.
And I didn't say nothing, I didn't have any.
You know, but I, you know, and they didn't even, yeah, but I ain't saying nothing, but I ain't saying nothing.
And that's what it was.
Anyway, what else?
But yeah, the fact they moved all that dirt in, it was just kind of fascinating to me.
And just to learn something new, to do something new, it makes me feel more alive, kind of, because sometimes I get pretty set in my ways.
Dark Government Tech00:04:07
We're going to go to some calls and stuff.
What else?
What do we got in the news, Trevin?
Anything that you noticed?
Did you see this Pope Leo and Trump beef?
Pope Leo and Trump?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, this is unbelievable.
Where he's like, the Pope is weak on crime, that one?
Yeah.
Well, after Trump's tweet on Easter, you know, just tweeting about the annihilation of people, bring up the tweet so I can be clear on what it is.
If you see that Easter tweet, it's great.
And this was on Truth Social.
Tuesday will be power plant day and bridge day, all wrapped up in one in Iran.
There will be nothing like it.
Open the fucking straight, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in hell.
Just watch.
Praise be to Allah, President Trump.
I mean, that's just, on Easter, that's unbelievable.
You know, when people are hoping for something new.
Literally on the day when people are hoping and are believing with their hearts as much as they can.
And are celebrating something new, a rebirth, a resurrection, a possibility.
To write that is, it's diabolical.
It's insane.
And I think my fear is that after they, after, you know, Israel just moved from Gaza to now it's Lebanon and it's Iran, they're on a time clock.
And I don't know why they're on a time clock, but they've pressed the fast forward button on control at any cost.
And I don't want to get too deep into it because I don't want to feel, I don't want to stay in a place of possibility for myself.
But I do fear that I think my biggest fear is that that stuff could come here.
You know, with the technology that they're using to take on a lot of these crimes, with the technology that they used to murder.
I mean, it's in Gaza, it's just like in these places in the Middle East.
With the technology they're using, if they can instill that here, then we will be living under the watchful eye of like drones that could take you out if they don't like something you write online.
And that's scary.
But when you're up against like things that seem this bizarre and insane, other things start to seem possible.
And what American is this helping?
Besides the war, the industrial war complex, what American, what hard work, what guy who's trying to take care of his family, or a single mother who's a nurse who's going to work and has to get home and get to her kids' ball game and has to be both parents?
What farmer is this helping?
What regular person is this helping?
I just don't know.
I don't understand.
So, yeah, that's what our president's up to, and it's fucking baffling.
And it's sick, and it feels like he's just been compromised by Israel, by this dark government over there.
And I don't know.
It's fucking dark.
It's dark.
What can we talk about?
Yeah, it's dark shit over there.
It's dark shit.
I just don't, I don't know.
Where do we get some leaders?
Where do we get some leaders and how do we?
I don't know.
I guess we start just by leading ourselves, huh?
All right, let's get into a little bit of news here.
What do we got, guys?
Birds and Rubber Pants00:05:19
So, I don't know if you saw this, but Sweden has built vending machines for crows.
Oh, wait, I did see this.
I think I shared this a couple of months ago, maybe on TikTok.
Yes, Sweden built a smart machine where crows trade trash for food, turning these clever birds into city.
Cleaners.
Corvids, the bird family that includes crows and ravens, are known for remarkable intelligence, including tool use, memory, and problem solving skills.
In controlled experiments, crows learn to drop cigarette filters into a specifically designed device and then that device dispensed food.
That's what we need, bro.
That's the kind of thing we need.
You teach a crow, hey, go pick up this trash, put it in here, and then you get a little Mac Nugget or something.
Something crazy, a little bird omelet or something.
You know, you get something like that.
And that's the kind of things we need.
And that's the kind of things I've been saying and praying for.
You know, things that actually make society better, inventions that make society better.
Rubber cars.
I said that shit forever ago.
Because you'll see a car accident, the only thing that survived it was the damn tires.
Well, bitch, make the whole thing rubber.
You could hit whoever the hell you want, dude.
You could hit your damn wife when she's leaving the house if you want.
If she's in her rubber car as well, just give her a little bump.
Let her know.
Let her know you got a little something for her when she gets back to the house.
You feel me?
Just give her a little bit of a love tap.
But yeah, if everybody's in a rubber car, you could get real on the way to work.
Or what about pants?
I've always thought this would be a good invention pants that walk for you.
I'm talking about electronic pants.
And them bitches, they'll go.
So you get in them.
And then you just tell, you navigate on your phone, yeah, take me to 13th Avenue or whatever.
And then you just walk.
That way you can relax, kind of.
Because your pants are going to know when to stop and when to go.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't have to use all your muscles because your muscles can be calmer because the pants are going to get you there.
You can just relax, let your pants take you for a walk.
You know, and if you want a jog, turn them bitches up.
If you're running late, cut them bitches loose, boy.
They ain't got no governor on these jeans, baby girl.
Cut them bitches loose.
Or what about this?
This was an invention that I thought of.
What if they had earrings?
You buy your wife these earrings and they whisper naughty stuff in her ear while she's at work.
So then when she comes back to the house, you know what I'm saying?
The ambiance has already been done.
You know?
She's at work, she's in the office or whatever, and you know.
You hit her up, you send her a little message, you know?
Wish I was there right now.
I'll bend you over that little paper shredder or whatever.
I want to hide in the recycling bin and lick your body or whatever.
You could send little shit like that, and then the earrings whisper it to her.
Your body in the recycling bin.
Imagine that.
So, we've been needing positive stuff.
I like the way they're getting birds involved in it.
Let nature work.
Because a lot of birds have been out of work.
Them bitches have been out of work.
They used to be spies.
Remember those, Trevin?
Yeah, the birds aren't real initiative.
They're drones.
Pigeons, them bitches was working.
Storks used to bring babies.
Them bitches was at it.
Who else?
The raven Edgar Allan Poe, he was putting them bitches to work.
And now.
They got crows popping off doing recycling.
So, yeah, I'm glad to see this.
I'm glad to see Animalia back hustling, man.
Praise God.
I love that, dude.
I love that.
So, yeah.
So, praise God, man.
I love seeing this.
I love seeing birds get active, boy.
Get nature involved.
What if they had a little squirrel and his job was just to come use his tail just to buff your car?
How great would that be?
Somebody trains 30, 40 squirrels over there.
You pull up, you stop, they clean it, and then they got 40 squirrels waxing that bitch with their tails, bro.
Come on, let's go.
This is the future we want, not doing genocides.
This is the shit we need.
Praise God, brother.
If somebody's sending you that U up, and it's 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 38 a.m., it don't matter.
They're hitting you up like that, then you know they're trying to keep it popping.
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Sober Mindset Shifts00:16:58
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Well, no.
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Thank you.
Let's get into some calls that came from you guys.
We got a call.
Let's hit the hotline.
As always, the hotline is 985 664 9503.
Amen to that.
Here we go.
We got a call right here.
Hey, Theo.
I just want to say, hey, I really appreciate you, man.
I just finished my career as a DoorDasher and I listened to all your podcasts while I was doing my career as a DoorDasher.
Let's go, brother.
Congratulations, brother.
Onward, I actually hit the pinnacle.
I didn't know where to go after that, so I was calling in for some advice to see you know where you think a retired DoorDasher should go, what I should do.
I feel like I hit the pinnacle, man, and it's really sad.
Hope you have a great day, man.
Cheers.
Well, first of all, brother, I want to say, can we get a couple gun salute for that guy just for his service?
Amen, brother.
I think the first thing you got to do, bro, you got to join the reserves, man.
Take a break.
Take a break.
You are that hunger Santa, that DoorDash.
You're that hunger Santa, homie.
And your service is appreciated.
I mean, there's probably not a porch in town you haven't just dropped a damn McNuggets on it or some Froyode or whatever.
They're probably in an apartment.
Welcome, Matt.
You haven't set a little small sack of McDobbles or whatever.
Or, you know, a couple of banana sundaes on that bitch.
Or some takiros.
Or some burritos.
You've put all that.
There probably ain't a dang.
You probably have just a whole collection of photos of just a damn little sack of jack in a box.
Just sitting right there near a mat that says, Home is where the heart is on.
I mean, God, your phone must be full, brother.
You have served your time.
And we thank you for your service, man.
I think you got to go into the reserves, bro.
And every now and then they'll call you out, you know, we got to get 40 Big Macs or whatever.
Or we got to get 40, you know, seed oil Mac Nuggets or whatever over to this gymnasium.
They'll bring you up for shit like that.
Or if there's a flood or whatever and they got to have somebody swim across a channel.
Just to deliver a damn BLT to somebody.
They'll bring you out.
And you probably got a little bit of PTSD.
I'm going to say that right now, you know?
I bet you got some PTSD.
I would apply to get some medical tuition to help you out with that.
Because you deserve that shit.
I bet you'll just be driving through a neighborhood and you'll just run off, bro.
And just deliver an invisible bag of something to an apartment.
Just can't even help it.
You know?
I bet your wife might find you in the middle of the night.
You out there ghost dashing.
You just door dashing in your damn sleep.
You out there walking backwards and shit.
Wandering around a stranger's apartment complex with a damn sack of hot dogs and a side of fries, brother.
Take a break.
Take some time, baby.
Sit at home.
Let it unwind.
Forget about all.
The trenches you've been in, dog.
Get some peacetime, baby.
Hit the reserves, man.
We thank you for your service, baby.
Praise God.
God, I can't even believe that, man.
And I'm not even brave enough to serve, to be honest with you.
That's what gets me.
That's what gets me, man.
And you got this dude who did 21 years as a door dasher.
Watched his friends, probably.
Probably watched friends just drowning in deep fryers and shit.
Watched a friend just slip on a damn.
You know, a cut of pickle or something that had fallen out of a bag and broke his leg, broke his neck, broke his leg neck.
God, we don't think about that.
We don't think when you're laying in bed at night that in the distance there are men running over hills, wandering through woods, swinging across vines with rivers filled with gators and bad bitches from Atlanta just to get a fucking sack of five guys to a damn SIG app house.
We don't think about that shit.
Lest we forget, man.
So go forth, young soldier.
Go forth and get you some peacetime, brother.
Take a deep breath and get you some relaxation.
And we'll keep you in our prayers, brother.
Praise God.
Thank you for your service.
Fuck, dude.
I'm Alex, and I'm from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
I actually saw you at Wind Creek, but.
Oh, thank you for calling, Alex.
Onward.
I even fucked up my sobriety day, but I'm 331 days sober today, and it's like the longest I've ever gone.
Let's go, bro.
331 days.
That's amazing, dog.
Congrats.
Onward.
I've been battling this shit for so long, dude, like a good 10 years, but I've never made it this far.
I'm actually driving to Los Angeles, California right now.
I'm moving out there from Bethlehem, and it's like 5 in the morning.
I just have some questions about the sobriety thing.
So, I'm a professional snowboarder.
I work with a lot of kids, and I also work with a lot of other athletes.
I just wonder how you maintain a positive attitude and stay social.
In these atmospheres when becoming freshly sober, I don't know.
I just feel dull and a little less enthusiastic as I might have been before.
I don't know.
A little less enthusiastic.
I'm trying to say.
Thank you so much for your call, brother.
I appreciate that.
Congratulations on 331 days.
Let's go.
Dude, that's so great.
That's a long time.
How do you keep it going?
I mean, and look, you talked about, you know, newly sobering.
You're not new.
I mean, you all, I mean, I get, look.
I've been newly sober so many times.
Let's call him up, can we?
Hello?
Hey, Alex?
Yeah.
Hey, what's up, man?
It's Theo.
Oh, what's up, Theo?
Not much, bro.
I was just checking in.
I just got your voicemail, dude.
I just want to say congratulations, man.
Do you still have your sober time?
Yeah.
Let's go.
I'm so hyped.
How many days you got right now?
Holy shit.
Theo Vaughn, are you for real?
Yeah, man.
I just got your voicemail, dude.
No way.
That's crazy.
I was driving to L.A.
Yeah, that's what you said.
I was like, fuck it.
I'm going to call the hotline and say, oh, my God.
Bro, BLM, homie, that's what the fuck is up.
Hell yeah, bro.
Dude, that's great, bro.
How are you feeling?
I feel good.
Every day is a new day.
So, you know, it comes with some battles, but I feel great today.
Nice, dude.
I know.
Isn't it crazy how some days we'll feel great and then that other day comes and you're like, God, I just want to pull my legs off and just hide them in somebody's ass, bro.
Yeah, something like that.
Sounds about right.
Or, you know what I'm saying?
Or just you have days where you're like, how could it be so different than it was yesterday?
That's how I feel sometimes.
Right, right.
Yeah.
What's the setup like there?
Do you feel like nervous about being out there?
Like, what was the reason you were heading out to LA?
I actually moved in here with my girlfriend.
I wasn't really nervous to move out here.
I'm kind of used to being out in big crowds and shit, but I think it's just different now that I don't have substances to do anything, you know?
And like being in LA, like the only things to do are really like at night, unless you do like, I don't know.
Like, what do you do during the day?
Yeah, you can hide from traffic.
That's what I did.
Yeah, the traffic sucks.
Bro, that's real shit.
I would hide from traffic, bro.
What else did I like to do?
Oh, I did like to go to the beach.
I like to go, uh,.
I mean, there's a ton of stuff, but I'm not probably not the best person to ask.
I would kind of isolate a little bit.
Or I would also, I worked a lot during the day and I would try to hit like meetings in the evening or something.
Yeah.
So, but at least you got your girl there, so that's exciting.
So you got one person there that you can connect with.
Yeah, no, it's super dope.
And I have some friends that are out here too.
Yeah.
So it's like, it's not the worst case scenario, you know?
Yeah.
So it's not, it's definitely cool.
I'm just trying to figure out what it is throughout the day, just in general, to do.
Like, it doesn't even matter if I'm in LA or not.
You could have a job.
You got a job?
I do, yeah.
Okay.
I manage an athlete and I'm a professional snowboarder as well.
Oh, that's right.
You mentioned that you snowboard, do you?
My bad.
Okay, good.
No, it's all good.
Yeah, dude, I think if you're brave enough to try something new like that and get out there, you're going to figure that stuff out, dude.
But I think, yeah, I think like, I mean, for me, I just noticed the more I can take care of myself, the more I can be involved in other people's lives, like in a, at least show up in other people's lives, you know?
And then sometimes it's for better and sometimes it's, Not sometimes I don't do the best, but at least I can show up, you know.
So if I'm taking care of myself, yeah, I mean, that's how I feel too.
Yeah, if I just do the things I need to do and stay off all the bad, yeah, I kind of become a better person and being a good person and trying to do things and being around other people feels a lot better, you know.
Yeah, I feel like less of a scumbag.
I don't know, I'm trying to get all my thoughts.
I'm honestly still mind blowing.
Oh, dude, no worries.
No, I think like, all right, let me think.
I am too, bro.
I think my energy's been weird today.
I just like, some days I'm just like, oh.
I feel like kind of spastic.
Yeah.
Dude, I think though, but I will say this Los Angeles has one of the best sober communities in the whole world, bro, out there.
There's so many great meetings where you hear some freaking amazing speakers and shit out there.
I mean, people that fucking, people that were eating their own fingers and shit and like, dude, guys that were like, some dude cut his thumb off and filled it up with dope and put it in his own ass.
Just people that are wilding, you know?
People that are really looking for God the long way, you know, taking the long way to the Lord.
Yeah, there's definitely a lot of those war stories.
I feel like when you're in LA and you look around, you can obviously tell that there's a strong homeless community, which means there's definitely a strong, sober community.
Yeah, because those communities.
I mean, that kind of makes sense, though.
Yeah.
Oh, bro, because those communities, it's a thin line between those two communities a lot of times, bro.
Yeah, for sure.
Like, a lot of us are very close.
We've been close to that edge of just walking off into the oblivion.
Dude, how about it?
How about it?
I've been battling this shit for so long.
I can't even believe I've gotten this far.
Amen.
This is the longest you've had, huh?
Yeah, way past the longest I've ever had.
And what do you think has been the secret?
I only had a couple months.
Hell yeah, dude.
And sorry, I stepped on your toes there.
But yeah, what do you think has been like, honestly, when you think about it and you're honest to yourself, what do you think has been the most helpful thing to you?
Or, what would you do differently?
What did I do differently?
I don't, you know what, dude?
I did have a pretty scary heart situation that happened to me last year where I've had like two near death experiences with a heart condition I didn't even know I really had.
And I had to get two heart surgeries.
And I think that kind of opened up my mind a little bit to it.
And then, but even then, after I was done with the heart surgeries and my heart was kind of like back to normal, per se, because it was a pretty simple fix.
I was drinking so much, but I wasn't drugging as much.
And my girlfriend was like, kind of telling me, she's like, hey, do you realize how much you drink?
And then I just took a step back and realized.
And I think that's when it all finally came to me that I've actually never stopped doing something.
I was always doing something.
Other than the time when I was ODing when I was a bit younger in my lower 20s, and I had no choice but to go to meetings and try and stay clean because my brother was also getting clean at the time.
Oh, so that was a whole other thing.
Yeah, the story goes on forever, man.
You know how it is, brother.
Yeah, and then sometimes we get tired of writing that story, dude.
That's what I start to notice for myself, man.
You know, I get tired of writing that old story because it's like, man, I've written this, you know, like just I've written it a lot, you know, and so I want to change it.
But, um, cool, man.
I got to finish taping this episode.
But, uh, yeah, dude, I just wanted to say, I just want to say, I appreciate you calling in.
Thanks for, like, just like, uh, yeah, including us in your drive across the country.
And, um, Yeah, dude, I'm glad that you got like, dude, you're like one of those astronauts on Artem or so, whatever.
You're out in some new territory, bro, coming up in one year.
That's wild.
Yeah, dude, it's crazy.
No, I appreciate you for reaching out, dude.
I'm obviously a super fan.
I've been watching this shit or listening to this shit for years.
Oh, thanks, bro.
That's good.
Yeah, but you were watching it last night.
What song were you watching last night?
Oh, yeah, the one with Timothy Shallowmate because I didn't hear that one, but I usually listen every week.
Oh, yeah, that dude's a G, bro.
He's a, That guy's got so much charm in him.
He's just full of damn charm.
He's just a damn charm.
Yeah.
Like a damn charm animal.
You know?
Yeah, bro.
No, but I appreciate you, Theo.
Thank you so much, man.
I've made my day.
It's really, really dope.
Oh, thanks, bro.
Yeah, I appreciate you, dude.
I appreciate you, too.
And thanks for just, yeah, sharing the message, man.
I think there's never too much of it.
So I appreciate you, man.
Healing Personal Struggles00:16:02
Have fun out there.
Give our best to your old lady and good luck on a year, man.
I know we'll see you there.
All right, thank you so much, Dia.
Have a good one, man.
All right, praise, bro.
Be good.
That's awesome, dude.
You sound like an upbeat guy.
I'm like, dude, it sounds like he sounds kind of like he just sounded like he had a good energy, huh?
Yeah, man.
I mean, he's a snowboarder.
Yeah, dude.
You're doing enough, dude.
You can't be doing snow and riding on it.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you can't.
Fuck.
I would lose my mind out there.
I'd be out there lost in the middle of the night.
Just literally trying to snort up a damn mogul.
You know, I get a brain freeze.
That's when you know.
Anyway, let's get some help.
Yeah.
Blessings to you, Alex.
Let's take another call here.
Hey Theo, long time listener, first time caller.
Um, man, I just wanted to call and say, appreciate everything you do.
And, uh, you know, I was just listening to your Ella Langley podcast about like, we all only, she was saying how we all, this is our first go around, right?
You know, we're all just living for the first time.
And, uh, I think I've been struggling lately with, um, feeling like almost like I'm stuck in this cycle where, you know, you're alone, you're lonely, you're by yourself, which, You know, sometimes it isn't like the best thing for you to do, but it's almost like a second nature.
It's just what you retreat to.
And then you, you know, you, then you want to go out and you go out and you hang out with your buddies and you have sometimes like a wild night and you get influenced by like what you think they want, what you think the world want, what Instagram and all, you know, social media tells you to do.
So you're drinking.
You might even fucking get your nose a little bit dirty like you used to.
And, uh, you know, you're trying to get all the girls numbers and like fucking, you know, have a, have a grand old time and you're out all night.
And then, uh, you kind of wake up the next day feeling like shit and you're like, I'm not even any closer to my goals.
I'm not getting where I need to be.
Um, but then you just kind of fucking retreat and then you do it all over again.
And, uh, I know, you know, I feel like maybe you once led through this and I think a lot of guys go through this.
And, you know, I've shut off social media.
I've tried to like, I've gone through periods where I didn't drink for long, long periods of time.
And, uh, I know you sometimes just always go back to this because then you're just like, what's the point?
You know, we're only, you know, I want to go around on this.
Like, am I going to like waste my youth?
Am I going to waste my opportunities?
Um, but I'm no closer to my goals and I think I'm, You know, I, uh, I lost my job last year and, uh, I've been supposed to be like studying and trying to get ahead for some stuff that's gonna give me a better job, but, uh, a lot of time I just kinda let the days go by and now I'm stuck here, you know, by myself, sitting in my room after the weekend, kinda just fucking, I don't know, man, feeling down and, uh, I don't even know why, okay, you know?
And I just wanted to know how you deal with this, how you get yourself out of this, how you get to a better life, how you get to a place where, like, you're not just cycling through and you're actually moving toward things that you want.
And I appreciate your advice.
All right, Theo.
Thanks, man.
Thanks so much for the call.
I don't think you said your name at the beginning, but thank you.
Yeah, the cycle of just like, okay, I'm going to do this.
And then I would kind of, for me, I would like, I would do, I'm going to try that.
I would let myself down.
I would try and I would ask God to help me.
And I would be like, I would pray, you know.
But I would just, and it was the same thing.
And I appreciate you being so articulate in your call and doing your best to share as honestly as you could what was going on.
I'll try to share.
You know, I've been struggling, man.
The past couple years, I've had, you know, it's been a struggle in certain ways with certain behaviors that I'm just not proud of, right?
Or really just behaviors that I didn't want to do anymore.
And.
I couldn't change it.
I couldn't change the cycle.
And even as I say this, I'm afraid that I'll fall back into those behaviors.
But I'll tell you what for me has been helpful recently.
And I'm sorry if I sound a little animated.
I just, I've been like going through this in my own life recently, and it's on the tip of my thoughts and feelings.
You know, sometimes I realized for myself, I would pray to God to help me get away from certain behaviors in my life.
But at the same time that I was praying, there would be a part of me that knew.
I was probably going to do those things again.
You know?
That I was probably going to do those things again.
Like a big God, please help me.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to have this behavior.
But there'll be a little part of me that was like, I know even as I ask for God's help that I'm going to do it again.
I would know that.
So I started praying like this.
I started praying, like, God, please help me with this.
You know, this is a broken part of me that I bring to you.
I need help with it.
And then I would add to my prayer, I would say, and even.
God, even as I pray to you right now, there's a part of me that knows I'm probably lying to you.
There's a part of me that knows I'm going to do that behavior again.
So can you come into that part of me and help me there?
Help me in the part of me that knows as I pray that I'm lying.
And I don't know if that sounds crazy or not, but.
But I started to think that, like, a connection between us and a higher power, it's so, it's such the realest.
It's like, in my life, it's one of the realest things that I've ever witnessed, right?
Like, you go in, like, I'll be in meetings and, or a recovery meetings, or, and you see people's lives change.
You see something happen.
You see, you see miracles, right?
But that was what was happening.
You know, it was, I couldn't change.
I could, I tried everything.
I tried everything to change.
I would tell myself, I'm going to do it different.
I'm going to do that.
And it wouldn't, it just, I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it by myself.
And my whole life, I'd done everything by myself.
I thought, I thought I had.
And so something that's just been helping me recently is just praying differently, you know?
Because whatever's inside of me that's broken is really.
It's manipulative and it's, you know, it would be good at pool because it's good at the angles.
But so, yeah, so I've just been praying that God comes into those parts of me, you know?
Don't just come into like the water inside of me.
Come into the well.
Come into the walls of the well.
Come into the mortar or whatever that's between the bricks.
Because I'm broken.
Because I'm broken all the way there.
You know, and I don't mean that like in self pity.
I don't need it, I don't.
But if there's a part of me that doesn't even want the best for me, then there's something inside of me that is off.
So that's something that's been helping me because some of it's been coming true.
And I don't know if it's been coming true.
I don't know if that's the term, but I don't know.
I'm starting to just feel something different.
And then I was also looking on this Bible, and there's a story called John 5, and it's about a guy who's at these pools.
And some people follow the Bible, some people don't.
That's fine.
This is just a story that I'm reciting here.
And Jesus is at the pools, and it's in Bethesda, and they're like, there's a sick man there, and he's been sick for a long time.
And Jesus asks him, Do you want to be healed?
He asks him, Do you want to be healed?
And that's a crazy question because, you know, if I get healed, then I'm different.
You know, if somebody gets healed, they have a new story.
So that's just been something that I've been having to ask myself.
It's like, yeah, do I want to be healed?
Do I really want something different?
And sometimes a lot of the answer is no, I don't.
I want something different, but I don't want to.
I don't know if I'm scared of it, I don't know what I am.
I don't know if I don't want to do what it takes to get it, I can't even tell what it is.
It's hard for me, some of this stuff's a little bit hard for me to say.
I think I don't even know why, but I think I want a new story.
You know, my story in my life, and I'm sorry to make this about me kind of, but I'm just trying to share like, you know, when I was growing up, like, my mom, something was wrong with her.
I love my mother, you know, but she didn't connect with me.
She didn't, like, look at me, and she didn't.
You know, she wouldn't hold me that much and she didn't look, she wouldn't look me in the eyes, right?
And, uh, and so as a kid, I felt like, I felt like something was wrong with me.
You know, I felt like, oh, if, if the person that created me won't even look at me, then something must be so wrong with me.
Um, you know, and I've worked through a lot of this stuff and so I'm kind of going down this lane.
Um, But it just gave me, it gave me like a lot of low self worth.
You know, it just gave me low self worth.
And honestly, it made it tough for me to even have a self because the only person that I only knew who I was if you reacted to me well, right?
Like I became just a people pleaser because I didn't have any feelings of self worth.
So the only way I could get my worth was from you, right?
From somebody else.
And it made sense because I didn't have a me, you know, I didn't have a big sense of self.
And so, I got myself from who you thought I was.
And I needed everybody to like me.
I needed everybody to like me because I didn't know if there was one person that didn't like me, if one of the plates stopped spinning, if it was all going to fall down.
So, anyway, sorry, I'm kind of rambling, but the thing that also happened was that whole, all of that energy, that negative energy, That uncertainty, that became my story, right?
And it gave me like a chip on my shoulder where it was like, you know, I'm going to show them, I'll show these motherfuckers, you know, I'll do this and I'll, you know, it gave me all of that.
It gave me all of that energy.
Like I'll prove to them, I'll prove to somebody that I'm worth something.
I'm going to make, yeah, I just want to look in somebody's eyes and have them be pleased with me.
That's what I wanted.
That's what I wanted.
I think it's all that any kid wants.
I wanted to just look in somebody's eyes and have them be pleased with me.
And all that gave me a chip on my shoulder.
And so, anyway, so it gave me all this energy.
It was like, I'm going to figure this out.
I'll do it myself.
And all that stuff served me well until I think just until now, it's like.
I don't know.
I'm just tired of living that story, man.
I'm tired of that story.
You know, I'm tired of that story.
I just don't want that story anymore.
You know, it's been a good story and it served me well.
Dang, homie, I'm leaking.
It's been a good story and it served me well, but I don't want that story anymore.
You know, I want something different.
Because the more I just tell that story, it's just like, you know, I stay in that world, I stay in that cycle.
For me.
And I think I, yeah, so I want to have a, I think I, and it's scary to say that I want to have a news story because I'm so used to like how those other feelings work.
I know who to be angry at.
I know how to operate here and I know how to operate there and I know who to not give love to.
And I, you know.
I know how to make love very conditional.
I know how to do all these.
I know how to navigate to get this fucked up vehicle down the street.
But I think I want a new story, dude.
And it's crazy for me to even say that.
But yeah, I think I want a new story.
And so that's one thing that I'm asking God for.
Yeah, I'm asking God for a new story, right?
I'm asking God for the next part of me.
You know, and being okay with saying, I'm not, you know, like these days, you know, my mother and I have a great relationship, and I love my mother.
There's nothing I want more than my mother to be happy, you know?
And it's funny because as she gets older, she kind of turns in a little bit more like a child sometimes.
And, uh, and you kind of like the roles kind of like, They, I guess they switch a little bit, and you get to be, you get to try to be what you needed in a way.
Ready for Eternity00:09:32
And it's pretty cool.
And that's a gift.
That's a gift from God, I think.
And so, yeah, I want to be able to, I just want to be able to, I don't know.
I don't even know what I'm telling you, dude.
Jesus Christ.
This guy's got to be like, God, why'd I call this idiot?
Yeah, so I think, anyway, that's what's been helping me.
Like, and I never thought I would be saying some of this stuff, but I'm glad that I am because I just, I'm ready for a new story.
I'm ready for a new story.
And I'm ready for, like, yeah.
And the scary part is, I don't, I like, is who will I be if I let go of these things that I've always done and known, some of these behaviors, if I even can let go of some of them.
And I know I'm not going to get anything right or whatever.
There's no, like, it's just like, ah.
I don't know, man.
I don't even know what I'm saying.
I'm kind of tired.
What can I suggest, do you think, Trevin, or offer some thought?
Do you have any thought about any of this?
I think it's really hard.
And I think praying is a great first step if you don't know where to go or how to break a cycle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
I just like, yeah, I just start, like, that's something that's helped me is I just started praying, but I started praying like.
Like, as honestly as I could.
And even honest past that.
Like, God, you know, these behaviors I don't like of mine, will you help me?
Even though I know that I might do them again, even though I know I want to do them again, will you come into the parts of me that want to do these behaviors again and help me there?
Will you come, just, will you come, you know, will you come all the way to the, I mean, will you come to the, like past the roots?
And yeah, and it's just like, I don't know.
And it's crazy to think that I could, like, I could have an, like, I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
A lot of it's scary to me and some of this isn't making sense.
And I'm sorry, man.
I think I'm just getting kind of burnt out.
It's been a, it's been all, I don't know what it's been, but I just, I'm glad that you care about what's going on.
And yeah, to get out of the cycle, man, it's hard and to show up for myself.
Other things that I've been doing is I've been getting up early.
I've been doing some yoga.
I've been doing a workout at home.
Um, I went and played basketball the other day with some friends.
I hadn't done that in years, man.
And you know what?
I felt good.
I left out of there.
I went to an AA meeting and I started, like, just like I'm not bragging.
I'm just saying I started getting active, you know?
And I started coming to my own rescue a little bit, but I started just showing up for myself.
And if I told somebody I'm going to do something, then I came and did it.
And I haven't, I've never done that a lot in my life, but for the past few weeks, I've been doing it.
And when, When I say something and then I do it, there's a part of me that hears that, right?
And there's a part of me that starts to have, like, a, okay, this guy is, he's somebody who says he's going to do something and he does it.
And so that then part of me starts to build up that it's like I'm building somebody new, man.
And I'm not trying to challenge you or anything.
I'm just telling you kind of what's been working for me.
And yeah, I know.
Anyway, this shit's all over the place.
Plenty of my vape, you know.
I wish the church made vapes, dude.
Those things would slap.
Is that bad, Traven, to say that?
They're basically in the Catholic Church, they got the incense.
They're basically, they've been vaping.
Oh, dang.
Yeah, let me get a little bit.
Dude, if they freaking had a, you know, I got that frankincense, 3,000 puffs, homie, that thing would be popping.
But yeah, I don't know.
I've like, I've sat in rooms and been in meetings and done this for like a cycle a long time.
And right now, something's feeling a little bit different.
And it's scary for me to even say that because there's a part of me that doesn't want things to be different, but there's a part of me that's growing that wants to have a new story for me.
And I didn't think I could have a new story, you know?
I think maybe in my head I did and shit, but in my heart I didn't think that.
And so, yeah.
But yeah, thanks for calling, dude.
And thanks for thinking of us.
And yeah, I don't know the answer to how to get out of the cycle.
I don't know.
And if I ever get all the way out, I promise I'll share it with you.
But yeah, thanks for hitting the hotline.
And yeah, just thinking out loud.
And just thanks for being honest, bro.
I felt like your call was really honest.
Like, this is what's going on.
And I'm tired of it.
And what can I do?
And I wish I had the answers for you.
You know, I wish I had the answers for you, but that's all I got.
All right, let's hear this call.
Hi, Theo.
This is Quinn.
Big fan of the show.
I just wanted to share a Bible verse with you.
It's Ecclesiastes 3 11.
It's brought me a lot of comfort because the way things are lately, it's been pretty weird, pretty scary.
Amen, bro.
It's weirder than that.
Onward.
And I know that people who care deeply can kind of be affected by that fear deeply.
So, anyway, the Bible verse is this.
He has made everything beautiful in his time, and he's put eternity into the human heart, and no man can know his plan from beginning to end.
That's pretty close.
It's funny, I got nervous for a voicemail.
But anyway, everything is beautiful in God's time.
Even if that's a reality we don't live in right now, it will be a reality because God promises us that he'll make it beautiful.
And I know you've got eternity in your heart.
You've got that eternity mindset, and you spread a lot of light.
So.
I know things are weird, but it's all going to be good.
So, anywho, I feel silly leaving this, but I hope you have a great day, and thanks for what you do.
Type shit, King.
Oh.
It almost felt like that was like, what if that was like the kid me calling back and telling me this?
And yeah, we have to just do our best, you know, and pray.
I'm praying that God, like, helps me be a warrior.
You know, I'm praying that God helps me be a warrior.
You know, because we might need people that can be warriors.
Now, I'm not going to be like one of the front warriors, dude.
I will be a warrior in the back.
You heard me, bro?
I'll be a warrior in the back eating chips and talking shit, boy.
But still, bro, you still qualified.
You get that warrior payment.
You still get that warrior check, that W check, bro.
So I'll get that shit.
But yeah, thank you guys for being a part of the episode.
You guys be good to yourselves.
You deserve it.
And yeah, just thanks for giving me a place where I can come and share about things and that we can come and we can share about things.
And yeah, that's all I got.
Trevin, anything you want to say?
Not much for me.
It was a great one.
And yeah, check out the movie if you guys can, busboysmovie.com.
Thanks, Trevin.
And yeah, and I was singing this.
Spring, that's the thing, man.
You know, like a spring is a time for a new story, you know?
So, and I don't even know if I can stick with this.
Some of these behaviors that are making me feel different, I don't know even if I can.
So I'm scared even to really talk about it, to be honest with you.
But I don't know.
So many times I've been in spaces and I've been afraid to say that.
I feel like there's a possibility for something new for me.
I've been afraid to really say that.
And then I end up in the same spot.
So I think I'm at least just trying something different today.
And if that's, you know, if at the very least that's all that is, then I'm trying something different, trying something new.
You guys be good to yourselves, baby.
You deserve it.
Praise God, baby.
I'm upstairs.
Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.