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July 21, 2023 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:47:32

E454 Mark Normand

Mark Normand is a stand-up comedian, writer, and host of the podcasts “Tuesdays With Stories” with Joe List, and “We Might Be Drunk” with Sam Morril. His new special “Soup to Nuts” comes out on Netflix July 25th. Mark Normand returns to This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von to chat about life on the road with the Fully Loaded tour this summer, comedy vs AI, the ongoing Hollywood strike, how bad the pioneer life would have been, mushroom glow, going darker in his new special, and more. Mark Normand: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Babbel: Go to http://babbel.com/theo to get 55% off your Babbel subscription. LightStream: Go to http://lightstream.com/theo to get a special interest rate discount and save with LightStream. Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit https://forthepeople.com/thispastweekend or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek&ab_channel=BishopGunn ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Ben https://www.instagram.com/benbeckermusic/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	We have some new tour dates, and these are some new ones.
	Memphis, Tennessee, we've added a show August 4th and 5th at the Cannon Center for the Performing Arts.
	I know the Chattanooga show sold out.
	Don't worry.
	Don't go get a fancy price ticket.
	We will come back and you'll have another opportunity.
	Toronto, Ontario.
	August 30th, an eighth show added in Toronto.
	San Jose, California.
	We've added a second show.
	September 14th and 13th.
	Oakland, California, September 16th at the Paramount.
	Akron, Ohio, we've added a show on the 8th or 7th.
	Washington, D.C., we've added a show October 19th and 20th.
	If your city is sold out, just keep an eye out.
	We'll come back through.
	We also have some tickets left for Windsor, Ontario on August 18th.
	Get your tickets through theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
	And thank you so much for coming out and supporting the Return of the Rat Tour.
	Today's guest has a new special coming out on Netflix.
	Next week, you'll want to get a hold of that.
	He's unbelievable.
	The special is called Soup to Nuts.
	He's one of a kind.
	He has two of his own podcasts called We Might Be Drunk and Tuesdays with Stories.
	He's from New Orleans.
	He's a Louisiana boy like myself.
	I'm always in awe of his talent, and I'm grateful to spend time with him today.
	Today's guest is Mr. Mark Norman.
	Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I've been singing I'm going to stay I'm going to stay Somebody just got, I mean, you've been through a lot.
	We both, dude, we made it.
	Yeah, hell yeah.
	You were in Edmonton, Sin City, baby.
	Yeah, there was smoke in the air.
	They had some wild fires going on, and the governor said that they had to cancel the show on Friday.
	Oh, damn.
	So we had to cancel and stay an extra day.
	Was it all brown up there in the sky, like Trudeau's face?
	He was Indian or something.
	Yeah, that's true.
	He was like one of those lamp buddies, I think.
	He was like Aladdin.
	I don't know.
	And that's not a racial term.
	That's magical.
	Which I don't even think is Indian.
	Maybe I got that.
	What is that?
	Middle Eastern?
	Alibaba?
	I'm not sure.
	I think, dude, it would be awesome if you could actually rub on a woman.
	India, that'd be always good.
	Yeah, that's fun.
	If you could rub on an Indian person and they had to do something for you.
	They had to grant a wish.
	That would be nice.
	They also have to face Mecca when they piss or something.
	Oh, wow.
	Maybe that's not India.
	A couple of ignorant honkies here.
	Yeah, welcome to ignorant honkies, dude.
	Ignorant honkies in the morning.
	Welcome to ignorant honkies in the morning, dude.
	We're out of here.
	We're live.
	Bro, we just got through like some bat.
	I feel like you're like a battered spouse.
	You've been up all night.
	Rode hard and put away wet.
	Yeah, we stayed up all night.
	It was the last night of the fully loaded tour.
	Slip and slide all day, drinking all day, giant amphitheater at the gorge, 15,000 people, drinking.
	I did some shrooms.
	I'm gay.
	We did it up.
	Oh, definitely.
	If you don't end gay at the end, then you're out.
	If you're on drugs and you go gay, I think you're good.
	Yeah.
	It was just a thing.
	I just tried it.
	Oh, yeah, man.
	That cocaine gets a little gay at the bottom of the bag.
	That's true, especially with this shit.
	Nothing gayer than that move.
	Oh, the last two balls of an eight ball are on another dude, usually.
	Eight balls.
	That's four dudes.
	That's a lot, bro.
	Yeah, gay dudes name that appropriately, man.
	Yeah, dude, I saw the videos.
	That looked magical.
	I saw, I don't know if it was Bert or you.
	Someone put up a video of like you guys waking people up and just showing them where you were at on the bus.
	Like when you got up in the morning.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, the bus gets crazy because you drink all night on the bus because you're just sitting there.
	And then I had one last year was me, Shane Gillis, Joey Diaz, Big J, and Bert.
	It was like a sleep apnea convention.
	And Joey's like, cocksucking motherfucker.
	That's how he sleeps with a feather going up and down.
	Oh, yeah.
	Dude, his CPAP machine one time I saw had a bowl of weed built in.
	I'm like, I don't think that's.
	That'd be a hell of a bong, though, huh?
	Yeah, that's one way to do it, dude.
	It goes right to the lungs.
	But yeah, fun time.
	It was magical.
	The sun is setting.
	You ever been to the gorge?
	No, I'd never been able to sell 15,000 tickets.
	Wow, that's Bert, you know.
	But it's such an event, and there's catering and beer trucks and slip-inside.
	There's all these events and activities, and it's incredible.
	That's one vote for Trump right there.
	Well, you can see we're in a boom.
	Like you look out in this audience, like, oh, we are in a comedy boom.
	We're right in the eye of the storm here.
	Dude, it really is.
	I mean, people want to come out.
	What do you think that is?
	Why do you think it's at such a like a wild time where people want to come out?
	I have a couple theories.
	And then I want to talk to you if you like it this way or if you liked it more when it was a niche art form in a basement.
	So that was kind of romantic.
	But I think comedy is huge right now because A, the internet, you can just before you had a Comedy Central and an HBO hour.
	That was it, really, or some albums.
	So it's just so much, and we got used to it.
	And HR is up everybody's ass.
	So when you come out there and start cleefing, it feels good.
	Right, right.
	So these people haven't heard a good quief.
	They haven't heard a quief through a mic.
	They haven't heard somebody pop off.
	They haven't heard any risk.
	Yes, exactly.
	And people like that risk.
	They live for it.
	I used to go dark at shows and I'd be like, Jesus Christ.
	Now I go dark and they're like, shoot it in my face.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, my daughter's fucking a black guy.
	Somebody yelled at one of my shows.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	and people were like, All right, man.
	I think, yeah, there's sometimes people just coming to get something off of their chest, yeah, for sure.
	Because he's been thinking about that, but he can't say that at the FedEx plant he works at.
	Was he happy or was he like, uh, I think it was kind of like, he kind of, it was like halfway fist in the air.
	Oh, not a full white power.
	Yeah.
	It's like a little, yeah, like a mixed power.
	Yeah.
	It's kind of true because it's like, that's white power.
	This is black power.
	Yeah, that's true.
	There's not much, I mean.
	Not much in the middle.
	Yeah.
	So if you just raise your hand, ask a question.
	If you're just a mixed guy, you're just kind of curious.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	That's interracial power.
	Yeah.
	This is the worst Captain Planet episode.
	Dude, yeah, that looked magical with you guys, right?
	I was like, I was really, I was really jealous in a way.
	I mean, I was just like, wow, this is unbelievable.
	It is.
	What's it like getting to be?
	Because I always am just by myself.
	Usually, you know, I'll have like Ari Manis.
	I'll have like Laura Peake or Maddie Smith.
	Yeah, funny folks.
	But it's not like getting out there with such a group.
	Yeah.
	Does it feel more pressure?
	Does it get competitive when there's that many folks on the lineup?
	A little bit, and then you just want to kill and you don't want to be the one to fuck it up.
	But it's also nice to hang with comics because, you know, we're getting more successful.
	So you just start potting and then you do your tour and then you sit in your apartment or your house for a week.
	And this is like all day.
	I've got Santino over here and, you know, David Tell over there.
	And it's just fun.
	And it's good to be with comics again.
	It's just, it's like summer camp with booze.
	Damn.
	And you guys do a lot of events on Burt's tour, it seemed like I saw somebody eating an uncrustable.
	Oh, I missed that one.
	I don't know if that's an event.
	I don't know.
	It was a couple of kind of fat, like, I don't want to say a couple thicker guys eating.
	I don't know if they were Sharon one.
	Is that, what is that, the PB ⁇ J thing?
	Yeah.
	Oh, those are good.
	It was Stavaros.
	Oh, yeah.
	He was there.
	He was there?
	Yeah, man.
	It's a good crew.
	They hand-picked the right people.
	But those uncrustable, you got to watch out.
	I mean, I think that killed Ralphie May.
	I wouldn't be surprised.
	And this is the town that he died in, man.
	Is that right?
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	Ralphie used to live like less than a mile from here.
	Whoa.
	I know.
	Damn.
	This is a sham move around here.
	SeaWorld?
	I don't know.
	Sorry.
	That's it.
	He's dead.
	R.I.P.
	Mixed power.
	Mixed power, dude.
	Fly was open the whole time.
	Dude, yeah, man.
	You've been doing great.
	I mean, you just keep doing better, man.
	I got to say, your new special.
	I'm going to think he's all just to tell you.
	Dude, it's so funny, man.
	I can't believe you watched it.
	I appreciate it.
	Dude, it is, it made me like, I mean, you're just, I think you're one of the best joke writers that there is.
	And it's just so many jokes non-stop.
	So even if you hate your date that you're watching it with, there's more humor coming.
	Right, right, right.
	Like, you don't have to lean over and even check in with him or her.
	Right.
	You know, like, I can stay, this guy has me from the beginning to the end.
	Hey, I appreciate it.
	I worked hard on it.
	And I can't have silence.
	So I got to keep putting punchlines in.
	Some of these comics go out there.
	They're sitting on a stool.
	They're cool as a cucumber.
	I got to keep zinging.
	Yeah.
	Or I pan.
	And I think I'm kind of a boring guy.
	Do you ever feel like that?
	Like, I feel like when I go on stage, everybody's like, all right, we can pee now.
	Because I'm like, I'm regular looking.
	I'm not the fat guy or the gay guy.
	Yeah.
	So I feel like I'm boring them.
	So I got to really machine gun it.
	Wow.
	That's interesting.
	Yeah.
	You wonder sometimes why I got like why, well, first of all, the silence thing I can totally relate to.
	Yeah.
	It's like if there was silence, I always am like, okay, how long am I safe in this silence?
	Yes, exactly.
	But there's two kinds of silence.
	There's the shit, I'm freaking out silence.
	And then there's that like, let me hold you guys in the palm of my hand silence and then hit you with a big tension breaker.
	Yeah.
	And I can't do either.
	I suck at silence.
	I think it's a parental.
	My parents, they do a thing where they don't respond to you.
	You ever have this?
	You know, like my mom will be like, so what'd you do yesterday?
	How was your flight?
	Oh, it was crazy.
	Terrorists came on the plane and they put guns on the pilot's head and I beat one of them up and they're like, well, it's unseasonably hot, huh?
	And you're like, come on, nothing on the terrorist thing.
	Yeah, why?
	Yeah.
	Do you think that's it?
	Like, does it come from like when we were kids?
	Like, why is it that Kami, that some of us, some of us work with the silence better?
	Like, Dave Chappelle loves silence now.
	Like, he'll backstroke in the silence.
	He'll have a couple of cigarettes while things are quiet.
	You know, some like Anthony Jeselnick knows that, I mean, he's a master of silence.
	Oh, he's great.
	Yeah.
	He's a fuck.
	He's like a, like Hans Zimmer of silence, you know?
	Yes, the Zim.
	But why do, yeah, why is it, yeah, if things got silent, like I even notice it if I'm like dating someone or something.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's scary.
	And things are fucking quiet.
	I think I don't know how they're feeling.
	Yes, exactly.
	And it's like, I can't stand to not know how somebody is feeling.
	Yeah, you got to give me feedback.
	That's what's so great about comedy.
	You say a thing, they laugh.
	You say a thing, you laugh.
	There's a back and forth, but some people give you nothing.
	Yeah.
	You ever have an Uber driver and he's trying to chat with you?
	So you're like, all right, I'll chat.
	And then you start talking and he gives you nothing back.
	That's my superpower is I can say something and have no one respond like at a party.
	Oh, damn.
	What a horrible.
	It's a horrible power.
	I'm the worst Avenger.
	You're just talking and people just kind of just peel off.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think I say weird shit, you know, especially around normal people, like non-comedians.
	You know, you're like, what's up with the black people not being able to swim?
	And they're like, all right, we got to get out of here.
	The meter's running or whatever.
	And I'm not trying to, You know, say crazy shit.
	I'm just saying what I think.
	Oh, yeah.
	I think saying something, I would say things like around my big thing was if I was around like a buddy and their family and stuff, I would spill an insane secret about my buddy in front of his parents in order to create any sort of environment that didn't, that I could watch and not have to be like the person that had the major, like, like didn't have like a real partnership in that exchange.
	Right, right.
	And you get to watch it.
	Now they're going, no, mom, that's not true.
	And she's like, well, you told me this.
	And now you're eating popcorn.
	Yeah.
	God, I loved that.
	That is, you know what else is nice?
	I have two friends, mutual friends who are fighting, and I'm in the middle.
	I love being in the middle of two friends fighting because they both keep coming to me.
	Like, can you believe he said this?
	Can you believe he said that?
	Blah, blah, blah.
	And I'm like, I know, I know.
	And I love it because I'm off the hook.
	But I get to be the good guy, help both friends, and they hate each other.
	It's a blast.
	Dude, it is fun when friends are fighting.
	You feel like you have something to do.
	Yes, yes, exactly.
	And they're so into it.
	They're like, fuck this guy out.
	I'm like, I know, he sucks.
	And the other guy's like, I know, he's the worst.
	I'm like, oh, it's so bad.
	And is that Bird and Joe?
	Oh, geez.
	Boy, you're good.
	Who do you think?
	Nancy Drew over here?
	No, Ari Shafir was talking about it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I don't know if they want us to bring it up.
	Oh, okay.
	I didn't know that.
	I thought it was.
	Ari will bring any, he'll put something in your drink, for Christ's sake.
	Yeah.
	He put that story in Bert's drink.
	Ari, I think you could bring up the look back on Ari's face just now, even looking at this.
	Look at this.
	Yeah, this is him.
	He's a little Jewish troublemaker.
	But this is the perfect look of a face that somebody's like, hey, look at this.
	I'm about to show you the fucking uncomfort between these other two people.
	You know, you said you like to throw it at the mom and your friend?
	That's what he does, but on a huge platform.
	Yeah, he does.
	He did it with the Kobe thing.
	He likes the big.
	The drama.
	Yeah, he likes that big fucking bomb.
	He does.
	He loves it.
	And I get it to a point because we're all nervous about people not liking us or whatever.
	So if you just go in all the way and give them a reason not to like you instead of just them not liking you genuinely.
	Are you wondering if they don't like you?
	Yes.
	But if you're like, hey, just don't like me.
	Exactly.
	Now you kind of have control of it.
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	Yeah, dude, this strike came up.
	Isn't it nice to not have to worry about that?
	Yeah, I feel for them.
	I hope they get the, I think they'll, I think it'll come around.
	The sag after strike.
	Yeah, right here.
	Negotiations cratered over AI, streaming revenue, sharing, pay hikes, and more.
	Can you get to that article just a little bit?
	That's tough.
	I did like what Fran Dresher said.
	I thought it was pretty cool.
	Did you see her video?
	No, the nanny?
	Yeah.
	I used to have a crush on her.
	Oh, you didn't, dude?
	It's a weird choice that she's the head of this.
	How did it become her?
	Well, the funny thing was a lot of people didn't know, right?
	Yeah.
	Because you get the things in the mailbox that it's like, vote for this person, you know?
	And I always try to vote for like the crazy, you know, I vote for like the wildest person to put in there because sometimes they're on there.
	Right.
	You know, it's like Wendy Williams.
	Yeah.
	Kanye.
	Yeah.
	Or Robert F.K. Jr.
	Yeah.
	Let's put somebody in there.
	Yeah.
	Who's really going to make something happen?
	Yeah.
	Let's shake it up.
	Yeah.
	Or even that little, they had a little person that was on like a soap opera.
	And he was always getting attacked by cats, you know, on there.
	What?
	Yeah.
	And I tried to vote him in a couple years.
	What soap opera was that?
	Google soap opera little person.
	I got to see this.
	Oh, this guy was beautiful, man.
	Really?
	Yeah, I think I even did it.
	I even donated to a GoFundMe for him.
	Oh, damn.
	That's him right there.
	Whoa, that's not, that's a kid.
	Passions.
	That was him.
	You sure that's not just a child?
	I mean.
	Or is that a Midge?
	I mean, I think you call Josh Ryan Evans.
	That was him.
	God.
	Man, that's a scary looking.
	Beautiful.
	He looks like Kim Zolsiak.
	Kim Zolsiak.
	Or in the face.
	He looks like Corey Bierman's wife.
	Oh, okay.
	Oh, is he Willow?
	No, I think Willow might have been his father.
	Oh, big shoes.
	Well, small shoes to fill.
	But yeah.
	Yeah, but he definitely, oh, he was on passions and he, and yeah, he was just, God, he was so beautiful.
	And I remember there's this famous episode because I saw two, I saw a little person fighting two cats one time at a.
	Wow.
	Was that pay-per-view?
	It should have been.
	It was unsanctioned.
	And there was, it was down in Hermosa.
	I was going down there to like a beach event or something and I'm walking.
	And there's a little person, I mean, battling two cats near in like a carport.
	Oh, my God.
	What a sight.
	And other people, and he like looked over to help.
	And I'm like, I don't even know whose side I'm on.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	What'd you do to the cats?
	You know, I got to hear their side.
	Yeah.
	And a lot of people don't believe in little people.
	You know, they're like, this is, you know, we got to stop this.
	You know, there's all types of kind of unique theories out there.
	But I used to tell a, and then I told a story about it on stage for a while.
	But, but anyway, yeah, I remember that guy.
	Deep cut.
	You know what the tough, you know, we're all friends with Brad Williams and I met We-Man once.
	The puffy hands are what throws me every time.
	Yeah, and I don't know.
	And you know what?
	I feel bad.
	I don't know sometimes when I shake a hand of a little person.
	I don't know if I should go down and kind of, you know, because you want to give them like a hug like you do everybody else, a little half hug.
	Right.
	But then I don't know if me going down to like a coming down more to their height makes them upset or something.
	I want to the same thing.
	I just pick them up and Zerbert them.
	That's what I do.
	Just to knock it out.
	Oh, like Biden did with that girl.
	Did you see that?
	Oh, my God.
	He likes to sniff those gals' hair.
	He fucking nibbled on that one little, it was a little whiter.
	It was like a delicacy, I think, for him.
	Bring that one up.
	Can you see that?
	Can you get on Twitter and find some of these?
	He's like a vampire.
	That's how he gets his energy.
	smelling kids.
	Yeah, and he goes, Oh, he really put it on that kid.
	There was that wild video where he's, I mean, sniffing all those kids.
	How old are you?
	Yeah, yeah, that was a crazy montage.
	He should sniff a little boy just to even it out.
	Yeah, it's true.
	Especially gay rights people should be like, hey, sniff a boy.
	Right, right.
	Or sniff a, you know, sniff a, I'd love to see him huff on a couple darker children.
	Yes, yeah, it'd be nice.
	To be honest.
	And hit some animals too.
	Like, mix it up so maybe people just think that's your thing.
	Yeah, or catch, I'd love to see him catch a little bit of dander off of a, off of a, you know, yeah, a pet, some type of a pet or even a Middle Eastern child.
	Yeah, now we're talking.
	You know, get a hit of something that's really going to fucking, you know, oh, you catch a little bit of cardamom off a Bangladeshi kid.
	That'll keep you up for two days, man.
	And he's out here riding these white kids the easy prey, too.
	Yeah, come on.
	Too easy.
	I mean, how weird.
	It is really strange, right?
	It's very odd, yeah.
	He's like the drunk friend at the bar.
	He's slurring words.
	He keeps falling, and then he's freaking out the gals.
	And I feel like the media just pretends like he's okay.
	Do you feel that at all?
	Of course, of course.
	Yeah, it's so obvious.
	Clearly, they know.
	They just don't want to, they can't say.
	That's what sucks about the media.
	Like, it's so biased.
	Just tell me what happened.
	Yeah.
	It's so annoying.
	Like, you know, Fox News, if it's a white shooter, Fox News won't really cover it, but CNN will.
	But if it's a black shooter, CNN won't cover it, but Fox will.
	It's very strange.
	It is.
	It's like, yeah, definitely.
	I think it's another reason why people want to go and see speakers.
	I mean, not only comedians are selling out or having a lot of big crowds, but speakers are.
	I mean, guys like Jordan Peterson, Lex Friedman, people love listening to him.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, I have a theory that things are so wishy-washy, like gender is very fluid and this and that.
	Nobody can tell you what's what.
	So when some guy comes out in a suit, like an autistic Lex Friedman, and like, this is how it is.
	You're like, all right, thank you.
	I just needed, I need some facts here.
	Yeah.
	Enough with the feelings and my truth.
	What the hell's my truth?
	Everybody's got a truth.
	Yeah.
	OJ had a truth.
	Yeah.
	You know, so like, you can't say that.
	Some people said he was selling cutco and shit just went awry.
	Damn, that's a bad sale.
	When a head heads comed off.
	I read that somewhere that somebody said he was just selling cutco and things went awry.
	Damn.
	Dude, did you see, speaking of that, did you see the kid that they just had a young man who lost his head?
	Can you bring this story up?
	Whoa, lost his head.
	Yeah, he lost his head and they put his head back on.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Man, AI is getting good.
	Holy shit.
	Do you ever see the old, it's not a video, but a kid was born with a giant dong and they had to, what do you call it?
	Reduce it.
	Yeah, so he had this huge football-shaped dong.
	And his dad said, this is, you got to get rid of this, but still make it a big dong.
	So they gave him an eight-incher.
	Yeah, they got to bring it back down to eight.
	Oh, wow.
	That's great.
	I know.
	I always had a large, I had an adult penis when I was a child.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Whoa.
	So it was very, I don't want to say it was challenging.
	You know, nobody likes to say that, you know.
	Sure.
	It's like, you know, it's not like a ball and chain, but it's definitely like you have to monitor how you kind of move, you know?
	Whoa.
	So like you'd have a diaper with like a, just a mushroom head coming out the side.
	Couldn't fit it.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I remember they'd have to get like the fat, like the, they had a different name for them, but like kind of the fatty kid diapers.
	And they had to, I remember having to sleep on my back or have like even like a little pillow put up against my mother said sometimes they would take a roll of my dad's socks and put it up next to my body while I slept and they would set my wiener on it.
	Come on.
	Isn't that crazy?
	Damn.
	Because they didn't want it to like pull my spine over a different direction or something when I was very young.
	Wow, it's a heavy dong.
	Yeah, it was, you know, when that song swing low, sweet charity.
	Oh, yeah.
	But you grew into it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, you grow into it.
	You know, it happens sometimes.
	I'm not sure what it's called when you have an adult body part when you're young.
	Yeah.
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	Have you been in an accident?
	Have you been damaged up?
	Check your body.
	Is something broken?
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	Did we get that franchise for video?
	I cannot believe it.
	Oh, here we go.
	Frankly.
	How far apart we are on so many things.
	How they plead poverty.
	That they're losing money left and right and giving hundreds of millions of dollars to their CEOs.
	It is disgusting.
	Shame on them.
	They stand on the wrong side of history at this very moment.
	We stand in solidarity in unprecedented unity.
	Our union and our sister unions and the unions around the world are standing by us as well as other labor unions.
	That's good.
	That's interesting, huh?
	I mean, I feel like she really kind of, I feel like she, you definitely feel what she's saying.
	Yeah, yeah, they got millions and they can't give the writer some.
	I know.
	The residuals thing is a bummer.
	Well, I think a lot of it goes back to just the history of people not getting residuals.
	You know, it's like all those years of people on shows and you hear that they don't have, they didn't make any money from, you know, like you hear that a lot about the cast from like Save by the Bell and stuff like that.
	Like they were on those hit shows.
	Right.
	And they didn't, it just wasn't part of their deals.
	I know.
	So I think a lot of you have that old energy that's built up.
	So she went through all that.
	Right.
	The problem is on Twitter, you have so many people that come out against her and are like, oh, here's a millionaire, you know, trying to say what the regular person wants.
	And it's like, but still, somebody has to, somebody has to speak up, you know?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And I think they'll be fine, but that sucks to be a writer and just like, ah, we're not going to, we're not going to pay you.
	Well, also, because a lot of the writers, they work on spec, you know?
	They do a project first and bring it forward.
	Oh, yeah.
	So I think when you partner in the fact they're doing all of that work, and then which some of those things never lead anywhere.
	True.
	How many friends do we have that have probably written five scripts?
	I've written three scripts.
	I've written a million packets.
	SNL, whatever, TV show.
	Yeah, and they just steal your jokes.
	Yes.
	Hey, here's my jokes.
	You never hear back.
	I know.
	You actually have to sign a thing when you turn in a packet that says, hey, this is not yours anymore.
	You send it to us and you're like, that's my best sketch.
	I need that.
	Let me shoot it if you're not going to hire me.
	It really is, man.
	It's such a sick business.
	And there's never any accountability.
	You don't know once you send that packet off what happens.
	Yeah.
	And then now you have all these, yeah, you have a lot of actors, and I guess they're worried about AI, which makes sense.
	They're worried about all of that.
	AI is getting good, man.
	People send me jokes that they put in AI and my voice.
	And I'm like, that's pretty good.
	That's better than anything I ever had.
	Also, I'm a robotic guy who tells jokes.
	Wow.
	Now AI is taking my shit.
	That's a good point, huh?
	Yeah, scary.
	But I think maybe that's also one of the reasons why people want to come see something that's real.
	I want to come see a human.
	I'm sick of talking to a robot when I need my plane ticket fixed.
	I'm sick of not being able to say anything at work.
	Everything is like, like, goes into like what the rules of civility are and stuff at work.
	And I want to be able to come out and fucking, you know, hear somebody possibly drop an in-bomb.
	Yes, yes.
	And like little things, you go, unhoused?
	That's what we call homeless people now.
	So you're at work or you're in the shower going, unhoused.
	What the fuck is that?
	But you can't say anything at work.
	So then you go to the chuckle hut and you see the guy talk about unhoused.
	What's that about?
	And you go, ah, I needed that.
	Yeah, so you're special.
	Did you feel like you had to get it out?
	That's what I thought when I was watching.
	I'm like, Mark's so prolific that he's just got to get this out.
	No, I'm not one of those guys.
	I can sit on an hour for a while and just keep honing.
	I think jokes are better when they marinate over a long period of time.
	I think people put stuff out too quick.
	Yeah.
	You know, I think Louis fucked that up with the hour a year thing.
	Oh, remember when that pressure came out?
	Oh, that was new.
	You got Jay Leno going, I'm doing something about Reagan, you know?
	So that fucked everybody up and it kind of made it this weird, the new standard.
	I'm like, well, that was just him doing that.
	Yeah.
	But now we got to do it.
	Yeah, that was a lot of pressure.
	Yeah, but I think people just, I think you're right.
	That's why this is even popular.
	Talking.
	All we're doing is talking, having a conversation, which we used to do all the time.
	And that kind of even went away.
	Oh, that's true, huh?
	People don't get together.
	Yeah, like when do you, yeah, some of the biggest conversations now are when you hear people talking with like some lost kid that came with their ring doorbell cam.
	Yeah, ring doorbell ruined the Jehovah's Witness.
	Yeah, by the way.
	But yeah, like even this weekend, you know, when you're hanging out with a guy you kind of know, you know him, but you're not like hanging out every day.
	And there's that weird moment of awkwardness.
	Everything in my body's going, ah, get out of here.
	Look at your phone.
	Put your headphones in.
	Do something.
	But if you just get over that, it's a blast.
	But we don't want to get over that because comfort, everything is so comfortable now.
	Oh, yeah.
	There's definitely that moment.
	Like, it's like when you're on a diet and they come down the aisle of the plane with the cookies or something or a snack or whatever, you know, do you want a little cookie?
	All you have to do is if you just get past that thing of, no, I'm going to stick to whatever my little plan is.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Because there's so we've, yeah, we've become this like immediate fix.
	Yes.
	And the phone's the easiest one.
	Easy.
	One millisecond of discomfort.
	You're like, oh, Instagram.
	Yeah.
	Not good.
	Because it's hard to get back out of that.
	It's hard to get back to normal once you're addicted like that.
	Dude, you ever look up from your phone and you don't even know kind of where you're, there's like a half a second where you're like, where am I?
	Am I married?
	I have that while driving.
	I'm like, I just wrote to 10 people and I've changed states twice.
	I didn't even realize it.
	Yeah, dude.
	That's so, yeah, there's something.
	Yeah, that's true.
	These are like just people talking.
	Wow.
	That's it.
	We're just having a conversation, which was people crave it.
	I listen to like five pods a day.
	Yeah.
	I love it.
	But I think it's just generations and years and years of like DNA of hanging out, talking in a circle in the woods or in a castle or whatever the hell.
	And then we just stop doing it.
	Yeah.
	Dude, imagine meeting somebody just like on a road way back.
	Like I was out in Utah recently and I was like, dude, it is desolate out here.
	Oh, yeah.
	And it's so hot.
	Like, I couldn't imagine having been like a pioneer, you know?
	Yeah.
	I think about that all the time.
	Traveling across the way.
	You have a horse.
	One of your kids is sick.
	One of your kids is about to die.
	Yeah, they got the cholera.
	Yeah.
	And you don't want to say that you still want to play with them and wake him up in the morning.
	Sure.
	You know, even though God's not going to wake him up one of these days, you know, and I hate to say that, but it's like every, you know, and we even went to like little graveyards and some of the, half the graves were like four years old, seven years old.
	Oh, brutal.
	Nothing worse than a little coffin.
	Oh, yeah, so tiny.
	Yeah.
	But I think it's, I think about that all the time, those old guys who would get on a wagon and then like half their family would die before they got there.
	And they just had to keep going.
	They had to deal with it.
	Grandpa's dead.
	Keep going.
	Yeah.
	And it's just St. Louis when they get there.
	Right, right.
	I know.
	That sucks.
	Is this worth grandpa?
	Yeah.
	And there was nothing in St. Louis.
	There wasn't even an arch.
	Yeah, there wasn't anything.
	No dairy queen, nothing.
	Yeah.
	And I wonder if you met somebody back then, like all the things you'd have to, like, if you met somebody on the trail, you had to kind of really decipher, like, is this person a good person?
	You were really keen on like body language and awareness.
	And like every second of a conversation had a lot of like value to it.
	You had to know if at if you could share a campfire because if at night they were going to try to rape your wife or husband.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	I mean, think about the Native Americans.
	You see those fuckers pull up on a horse with the feathers and the face paint?
	Oh my God.
	Yeah, we're at a Chuck E. Cheek.
	I was like, I'm in St. Louis.
	What the fuck?
	But yeah, no, that's scary shit.
	And those guys were tough.
	Yeah, I couldn't.
	I don't think I could have done it.
	But I think the value of a conversation back then, it was like, that's where you got all your news from to some guy on a trail.
	Yes.
	Crazy.
	And that wasn't even, there was no paper.
	No.
	I mean, there was paper, but he didn't have like a extra, extra.
	You read all about it.
	He just had to go, hey, you know, whatever the hell is the president now?
	And you're like, oh, shit.
	I didn't even know that.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	They'd be like Thurman's in or something.
	Yeah.
	My God.
	That guy?
	I didn't vote for him.
	Whatever.
	Three cheers.
	Open up a can of beans, huh?
	A lot of beans back then.
	God.
	Yeah, it's just, yeah, the value.
	Yeah, how a conversation has like changed over the years.
	And yeah, now it's like we're like this little museum for conversations.
	Like, sometimes I think like all human things will just be in a museum.
	Like one day, like aliens will take their children to like see like a smile.
	Whoa.
	Wow.
	This was something that people's, if they had joy, their face would turn up at the corners of their mouth.
	Whoa, that's crazy.
	Good call.
	You know what's, you know, I was thinking about this the other day while high.
	If an animal shows you his teeth, you're in trouble.
	He's like, but if we show teeth, it's like, hey, you're good.
	We're smiling.
	Yeah.
	Isn't that weird?
	Because teeth are scary.
	That's what you bite people with.
	They're pointy and sharp.
	But yeah, with humans, it's a good thing.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you were high.
	I was so baked.
	Yeah.
	Forget I brought it up.
	Dude, those thoughts of when you're high, dude, I remember writing some of the jokes I'd write, then you read them the next day, and you're like, this is garbage.
	I know, but you think you're Bill Hicks.
	Oh, you think you're unreal.
	I know.
	You think you're unreal.
	Oh, sorry.
	So soup to nuts, man.
	Yeah, everybody's got to go watch this.
	Your last special, how did you feel like it helped?
	Because we talked about that, I think, last time you were here.
	Yeah, I did an hour on Netflix.
	Nobody would buy it, so it was like a failure.
	I'll just put it on YouTube and suck it up, take the loss.
	And I think that's some of my best work.
	And then this, this is, I kicked it up a notch.
	I went way darker.
	I don't know if you saw the whole thing, but I got some stuff I'm nervous about, like some Jew stuff, some black stuff, some trans stuff.
	Yeah, no, I'm probably about 30, maybe 30 minutes in.
	Hey, I appreciate it.
	You watch more than my parents.
	I think anybody only watches so much usually, but I'll watch the second half.
	I was thinking maybe if I get a date or something, I'll sit and watch it.
	Oh, that's not bad.
	Yeah, you can be like, I know that guy.
	Yeah.
	Dude, I know that guy, man.
	People love him.
	Yeah, no.
	Blow me.
	Do you feel like it's gotten, how do you feel like success has helped your personality or helped you?
	Like, do you feel sometimes like, you know, because I know as comics, like, we want people to like us, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	I know, like, we're desperate for it.
	I mean, it's why that thing, like, we can't have things be quiet sometimes because the silence is scary for some reason, you know?
	You know, I've always thought that I liked to, I liked, I know when I was young to make people laugh because I knew if they were laughing that they couldn't hate me at the same time, right?
	100%.
	I feel the same way.
	Yeah.
	And yeah, I can imagine most comedians probably do.
	So I wonder if some of that starts to dissipate as we get more success, do you think?
	I thought it would, but I think it's in the wiring.
	It's like baked in.
	The cement is dry.
	So it's just always going to be that way.
	You can get a little better, but at the core, you're still the same dweeb.
	Yeah.
	You know, it sucks.
	You almost think you're going to get some Netflix special and you'll feel better.
	Yeah.
	That's like I always say people are like, I'm going to Hawaii.
	I got to take the edge off.
	And I'm like, but you're still going to have your head in Hawaii.
	You're going to be on the beach going, what's up with the black people not swimming?
	I don't come on a shark.
	Yeah.
	You're always going to be, what's up with sharks' teeth when I show my teeth?
	You know, whatever.
	That's still going to happen in Honolulu.
	That's why drugs are popular.
	Yeah.
	And alcohol.
	Yeah, man.
	Does it feel like you got to party on those BERT tours?
	You can just do whatever, you know?
	Because sometimes I want to go, but I just, sometimes I feel like since I'm not the guy that can party, that I'm like kind of like, I don't want to be like people think I'm like the fucking dad or like the closeted uncle or anything.
	Well, we all know you're closeted.
	You know, you got to have the alone time.
	We're all introverts deep down, and there's only so much time you can be cracking jokes, chugging booze, and all that.
	So you got to have your downtime or you're going to fucking Greg Giraldo.
	Yeah.
	I was just talking about him with someone.
	Oh, Jim Gaffigan.
	Oh, nice.
	Yep.
	And he's got a special.
	Both you guys have specials coming out this week.
	Gee, what is that?
	His 38th?
	No, it's his 10th.
	Oh, my Lord.
	That's insanity.
	That's very impressive.
	It's unreal.
	Do you think, though, that at some point there's value into not putting out a special?
	And like, Bobby Lee, right, has notoriously, he's had some of this, like, the same material for a long time, right?
	And he makes up, he has new stuff.
	And look, I've done a lot of the same stuff over the years.
	I like, you know, but there's some, every time I see Bobby, I look, I, he's so funny.
	Unbelievable.
	But he can't put it that on that down on wax because you can't show your dick a different way in a new special.
	Right.
	You know, maybe he paints it black or something.
	I don't know, but that's his big thing.
	Yeah, it's so, yeah, it's like, can you, but that was the kind of the cool thing back in the day.
	It was like you had to go see them.
	Yeah, that is pretty cool.
	That's gone now.
	But is it, though?
	Is it still like, if you don't put stuff out, then people have to come see you.
	That's true.
	I guess you're right.
	But my thing is a lot of it gets online somehow or you put a clip up and so they go, I'd love to see this guy, but I want to see new shit.
	Yeah.
	Like Jay Leno or whoever, these old guys could just do that same act forever and they were fine.
	Yeah, I went and saw Bob Newhart.
	Wow.
	Love the Newhart.
	I think, can you bring a picture of him up, I think?
	He's a legend.
	Bob Newhart.
	Yeah, I went and seen him, dude.
	And he was, I think, probably 80-something, maybe 90. Yeah.
	And he was doing jokes.
	Wow.
	He looks like that lady off of Ozarks a little.
	Oh, yeah.
	Good call with the heroin field.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, she was fucking the young Hillbilly kid.
	Yeah.
	I mean, he looks like he took a strong hit off some poppy and never came back.
	He looks like the guy in the movie who's just seeing the ghost and he freezes and turns old.
	I got to ask you, so you, you're, you're doing very well.
	I see these venues.
	I follow you on Instagram.
	These venues are huge.
	Yeah, it've been pretty crazy, I think.
	Do you like, because I like the level where I'm at.
	I'm scared of fame and all that shit.
	Not saying I'm famous, but like I would never want to be that famous.
	Not like you, but like some of these guys, like Burt Kreischer is so huge.
	Oh, yeah, that seems almost scary to me.
	Yeah, I just feel like that's when people start looking at you with a microscope.
	Well, I think you definitely, your anonymity starts to get lost.
	I mean, what happened with me was a lot of people took all my stuff and put it on, made it on TikTok.
	Ah, the Andrew Tate.
	And so that took it to like a different place.
	It wasn't in my management, you know?
	It was like, I mean, there's things people come up and ask me about, tell me, and they're so excited.
	I'd never even remember, I've never seen the clip.
	I don't even know.
	Oh, yeah.
	So that I think kind of took things to a different level.
	It's definitely been kind of like it's kind of a, I don't want to say that it's a bummer, but one of the tougher things about getting popularity is you spend a lot of your time defending yourself.
	Yes.
	Like hiding myself.
	Yes.
	When I get off the plane today, I go and kind of stand like in a space away from where I know people won't be.
	You know, just like little things like that, where you're just monitoring how visible you are.
	I don't know if that sounds egotistical, though.
	No, I get it because sometimes just not ready to chat.
	Oh, it's sometimes, yeah, and you've, and you've had that, you've, and you've already met a lot of people for the day.
	So sometimes it's like, I'll be like, if I've already met 20 people today, I can't, my brain needs time to think about stuff.
	I need to do stuff in my own life.
	You know, I have to take care of myself and make sure I'm fed and whatever.
	You can't spend all your time meeting people, right?
	Yeah.
	The part of you would like to.
	There's that part of you that's desperate for people to like you.
	Of course.
	It's a catch-28.
	You know, you want them to like you, then when they do, you're like, all right, but now you got to give me space.
	Yeah.
	So we are kind of dicks in that way.
	But let me just say this.
	You ever meet Theo out in the wild?
	Say hello.
	Great stuff.
	I love your pod.
	And then you got to move on.
	Because the worst part is that awkward shit where they're like, now what?
	And you're like, nah, we got, I don't know you, though.
	Yeah.
	You said your thing.
	I got nothing on you.
	I don't know your mom or where you live or whatever if you were a Cub Scout, you know?
	So that's always get in, get out.
	The lingering is tough.
	Dude, and that goes for anything in life, man.
	One of my friends told me one time, he said, be good and be gone.
	That's what he said.
	Ooh, I like that.
	And that had always had a lot of value to me.
	My friend Will Kirby said that.
	He's a board-certified dermatologist.
	And yeah, he's doing good.
	The guy, he's probably 50, looks like he's 44, but SPF'd to the gills, dude.
	Oh, yeah.
	got to moisturize.
	Oh, he's fucking, he's so supple, dude.
	He's slick.
	Oh, he, oh, good for him.
	He's so fucking supple.
	But yeah, he said that to me, and I always thought that that was pretty interesting because, yeah, you don't want to get stuck in a space with anybody, and it could be business, it can be with women.
	Yes.
	You know, especially anything you're kind of like approaching new, if you get stuck in that extra space where you don't have much prepared or you don't know what you're going to do, then that's kind of, you know, it's not the best.
	Right.
	That's not a good answer for that.
	But it's just, yeah, you want to be good and be gone.
	Put in yourself because you feel better then too.
	You're like, man, that was cool.
	It was a good interaction.
	Yeah, perfect.
	The best is like a guy on a bike who just goes like, gang gang.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You're like, all right, now that was perfect.
	Yeah.
	I got the recognition and no chit check.
	And then he stands up and looks back and says it.
	And then he has assless chaps on him.
	You're like, whoa.
	Yeah, Pride Month.
	Well, the worst is when you go, oh, thank you.
	And they go, whoop.
	They pull that Yui and you're like, oh, not the Yui.
	I thought we were done.
	But again, very nice.
	I sound like a cunt.
	I'm like, hey, you assholes with the hellos and the praise.
	No, I mean, and I think sometimes it's just what your own day is like.
	I'll tell people now, like, hey, man, I'm just having a tough day.
	Or, you know, I'll just be honest about what's going on.
	Yeah, that's put the burden on them now.
	So now they want to leave.
	Yeah.
	You know, what if you just start unloading your shit?
	Like, hey, man, I can't get it up.
	And I'm so glad we're here to talk.
	And he's like, ah, now I got to go.
	That's a good move.
	I think one of the things, though, too, is like on my podcast, like on my podcast, we talk a lot about, there's a lot of like people that struggle with stuff.
	Oh, yeah.
	So sometimes it's like, I can tell like if somebody's struggling sometimes, like I want to be in that moment and like some stuff you want to share.
	You want to hear what people have going on.
	But then some people have just seen clips and they're just like, you know, they're just, they don't know anything more.
	So sometimes if it's like a podcast fan who's into your pod, then that can be a little bit different, you know?
	That's a little different.
	Yeah, because they know we're weird.
	Right.
	And they're probably weird too because that's the thing.
	Right.
	It's like, dude, we are probably the same type of weird because we asso, you know, like a lot of the people, it's like, oh, I probably would have a conversation with them if I just met them regularly.
	So true, but you ever get the guy, like I read my DMs because I'm a psycho, and I'll get the guy like, hey, I see you're coming to Nashville.
	I got a cabin.
	If you want to come by, I'll massage you and I'll cook.
	And you're like, wait, what?
	Why would I do that?
	And he's like, I got knives and a snake.
	You're like, what?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And we have a family graveyard in the back.
	And you're like, I'm not doing that.
	You know, the guy's like, we can make a soup.
	We have a great homemade soup here.
	Oh, my God.
	Some guy texted me the other day and he goes, I'm going to.
	I want to suck your.
	That's what he said.
	Oh, hey, nice.
	Was that Rogan?
	I don't know who it was.
	Wow.
	But see, that's kind of what's fun about being a guy is like, if that was a woman, like, I'm going to suck your pussy, bitch.
	She's like, God, it's hard being a woman.
	But with us, we're like, look at this guy.
	How funny.
	My uncle.
	Well, women, women have gotten so vulgar in the DMs.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's a new world for the clam.
	Yeah.
	They're like, let me come drop this split on you.
	They'll say crazy stuff, huh?
	I love it.
	I mean, I'm married now, but those were the fun days, and I would always write back, hey, be good and be gone.
	That's it.
	Quick and out.
	I had a girl one time send me a DM and she was some huge brass.
	Oh, yeah.
	God, dude.
	You could see, like, her, yeah, her breasts.
	They even had like a sunrise and sun.
	There was like.
	It was an eclipse.
	Oh, they had.
	Yeah, dude.
	Yeah.
	She wasn't a flat earther.
	Oh, no.
	She believed in the truth, you know.
	She believed in science, man.
	She's too big, though.
	She just came.
	We just got together in the lobby of the hotel and played cards, and that was kind of cool.
	Come on.
	What is, that's weird.
	But it was nice, though.
	Really?
	There was something kind of like old school and romantic about it, you know?
	We played that game Speed.
	Have you ever played that?
	I don't know Speed.
	I've done Speed.
	I don't know the game.
	What's the game?
	Yeah, it's almost like being on Speed, but you're just doing it with the cards, and you can go to sleep after.
	Oh, yeah.
	No hangover, no crash.
	Oh, easy.
	Nice.
	We had a nice time.
	Yeah.
	That's why I like shrooms.
	Oh.
	Just the best drug.
	I don't know if you ever did them.
	Oh, yeah, dude.
	It's no hangover.
	They last about five hours.
	It's kind of natural.
	Yeah, fun.
	You can go into the bathroom by yourself at least twice and be like, oh, I'm weird.
	Yeah, that's right.
	That's right.
	But don't get a look at the mirror because you're ugly.
	Yeah.
	In that mirror, you're like, oh, how come people are talking to me?
	I'm a ghoul.
	Dude, the show got canceled on Friday, so we went out to the parking lot and we're just meeting people that were showing up.
	Yeah.
	And they had like five dudes that had come.
	They'd taken a bunch of shrooms to come to the show.
	Oh, man.
	And you could see their faces were all kind of shiny.
	Yes.
	Shroom glow.
	Yeah, you get that shroom glow.
	Yeah.
	Which is beautiful.
	They look like a happy child.
	They look like angels.
	Yeah, they're floating.
	God, could you imagine being RFK Jr. and having digging shrooms and hearing your own voice?
	Oh, I think I was the devil.
	Dude, he could win.
	He could win.
	He's the opposite of Biden.
	He's ripped.
	He has his own views.
	I think he's a bit of a kook in some areas.
	He's definitely on the fringes.
	He wants to bring back the middle class.
	He wants to stop the war.
	He's got some good stuff.
	Yeah, and he's able to say what he thinks.
	He's able to share what he thinks.
	I think he believes what he believes, right?
	Yes.
	I don't think any of it seems like he is saying it for some.
	And here's the thing, too.
	You know he is those are his beliefs because nobody's fucking believed him.
	Yeah, and they're pushing back like you fucking weirdo, you crank.
	They call him a crank, whatever that is.
	Yeah, they're definitely calling him names from the past.
	Yeah.
	Are you a charlatan?
	You gobbledy goo.
	You carpetbagger.
	You muckraker.
	Yeah, they're calling him stuff from the past, bro.
	I know, I know.
	Yeah, the internet and the paper are very mean.
	Like, he's just an old man who's ripped Trying to do his thing, trying to save the country.
	Yeah, and I've known him just, he's always been a stand-up dude.
	He's somebody that I would go to for suggestion.
	He's somebody that I've always really trusted just as a person.
	It's crazy to like know a person and then be like, oh, they're going.
	That's crazy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Heroin guy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Which makes me like him more.
	Oh, dude.
	Well, that's the thing.
	He's handicapped.
	Right.
	He's done heroin.
	He's ripped.
	Yeah.
	And he's, yeah, he's ripped without the heroin.
	Yeah.
	And he obviously knows Larry David, which to me in my book, that scores a few points.
	That's a great point, huh?
	I love that.
	But the fact that he's speaking that nobody believes, so that's when you know he's, I mean, the guy has been on his own.
	Yes.
	So you know those are his views.
	You know he doesn't have any lobbyists in his pocket.
	Yeah, he doesn't sound like any politician.
	Every politician is kind of a puppet, you know, for the man or whoever it is.
	And he has his own things.
	And he had a great line.
	Somebody goes, you know, Trump actually likes you.
	What do you think about that?
	And he was like, I think it's cool.
	And they're like, what?
	But it's Trump.
	But he's like, I know, but we got to stop fighting.
	We got to stop having this left and right shit.
	Let's just be Americans.
	And I'm like, I needed to hear that.
	I hate this division.
	Esta disfrutando de mi potcas?
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	Yeah, me too, man.
	I hate that like I go to the UFC fights and Trump will be there, right?
	And I feel like that people are going to judge me for it.
	Of course.
	For associating with them or like, like, I would never judge any of my friends if they associated with anybody, I don't think, you know?
	Here's a picture right here.
	I got asked to take this picture.
	Whoa.
	And this camera wasn't.
	It's Herb Dean.
	Yeah, I couldn't eat that.
	Well, you really got the lean going, huh?
	I tried my best, dude.
	You're limpoing.
	It's been so long to take that picture.
	Holy shit.
	I'm surprised you could hold up.
	Well, somebody's phone, I don't know whose it was, had like bacon grease or something on it.
	So any button I pressed, it wasn't, it was the.
	Oh, the grease was so thick.
	Well, it was kept taking the hit of the grease.
	So it was like, if I pressed a button, it wasn't like saying, okay, I'll accept that button.
	Right, you got some dirty Italian's phone.
	Definitely.
	But how cool?
	I was on the bus with Bert watching this, and I was like, there's Gillis, there's David Spade, there's Theo, there's Johnny Knoxville.
	Yeah.
	So cool.
	I mean, huge Spade in Knoxville.
	What?
	That's the movie I want to see.
	And Spade's become one of my, he's probably my best, he's probably my best friend in Hollywood these days for sure.
	Did you ever think watching Tommy Boy that you'd be hanging out with that little twink?
	Dude, not a tense.
	I thought, dude, I remember when I first saw Joe Dirt, I thought it was real, right?
	I thought that they had left this kid at the Grand Canyon.
	Oh, come on.
	Yeah.
	Really?
	I remember really believing that when I was a child and fucking broke my heart.
	You thought it was a documentary?
	A really documentary?
	I guess I did.
	And I don't remember why I did, but I just did, you know?
	But yeah, so that anyway, that's just wild because then you're also there with Spade, which kind of gives you carte blanche with like other celebrities and stuff.
	So he meets somebody.
	I'm like, hey, I'm right here.
	Yeah.
	What's Knoxville like?
	Knoxville is kind of like, he seems kind of serious a lot of times.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Well, his dick doesn't work.
	Oh, really?
	I'd probably make it a little more serious.
	Oh, dude.
	Well, I'll probably, good thing we're, I'm glad we're sitting near each other.
	Then nobody's getting fucked.
	Yeah.
	And if a lady shows up, you got dibs.
	What's he going to do?
	Go down on her for an hour?
	I'd probably be right there next to him, dude.
	Dude, my 20s, I couldn't even get an erection.
	My 20s, I had so much anxiety.
	Oh, yeah.
	Right.
	And that's fucked up.
	All these kids now they got the blue chew, the sialis, all that stuff.
	I'm like, man, back in my day, you had to think of something real in the bathroom and get chubbed up and then run into the room.
	Oh, I remember trying to squeeze my butt cheeks, hoping to push the blood to the front.
	I remember squeezing as hard as I fucking could.
	Oh, it's the worst.
	And your brain is going in so many directions.
	You're like, please, please get hard.
	She's right here.
	Yeah.
	Oh, it's so embarrassing.
	Then you have the, no, it's not you.
	It's me.
	I'm in my head.
	And she's like, you think I'm ugly?
	You f ⁇ ing it.
	You're like, no, no.
	You're gay.
	You're like, I'm not gay.
	I know.
	You know, I have pic, I'll draw a picture of some Vulva right now for you.
	With my eyes closed, you know, I'm not gay.
	And the saddest part, dude, I would notice my brain because I would get in those instances, you know, and I would feel so fucking defeated.
	And I didn't know it was because I had so much anxiety around women.
	I just thought there was something wrong with me.
	I didn't know that it was, you know, my mother didn't look at me for 14 years.
	So I didn't have any connection to how to, if I, if a one, I like.
	Yeah, well, she saw that big hog of yours as a kid and she couldn't make eye contact.
	It's too awkward.
	But yeah.
	Yeah, she saw that front end loader, dude.
	Yeah.
	Damn, unless I'm moving cement in the yard.
	I don't, I'm not fucking with this baby.
	Using your dick as the tar mop and flattening it out with the.
	It's a boy.
	It's a girl.
	It's a dick.
	Yeah.
	But I have a weird thing where I couldn't get it up if I liked the girl.
	Oh, if I didn't like her, I was a porn star.
	Yeah.
	I think there's a term for that, Benson, if you want to give that a goog.
	Yeah, let's look that up.
	But so I remember my brain would start to say, okay, you need to have an excuse now, right?
	But it would be like 5 a.m.
	sometimes.
	I know.
	And I would always say I'm part of a swim team, I remember, and that we have early practice.
	Damn, that's good.
	Swim team, because no one lies about a swim team.
	Right.
	People would be like, that's, who would say that?
	Yeah, it's too, too specific.
	But sometimes they'd be like, you're 28 years old.
	Right.
	Right.
	You're not even in college.
	Yeah, yeah.
	What swim team are you on?
	Right.
	Yeah.
	The things, the places your brain will go to get you out of that situation.
	And I'd be like, you don't support the mid-city fins.
	I'll just yell some shit and leave.
	Or sometimes I would say, I have to go home and let my dog out.
	Oh, yeah, that's good.
	But I don't know.
	Most guys would fuck her and then get the dog.
	I feel like.
	But then there's a little bit of like, oh, this guy's a pet lover.
	This guy's a good guy.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	But women don't have to worry about it.
	I don't know a lot of women who are like, oh, I just can't get wet.
	Like Jim Jeffrey said that great bit where if I can't get it up, it's my problem.
	If you can't get wet, it's my problem.
	And I was like, that's kind of true.
	Also, don't turn a lady down in the throes of passion.
	She will hit you with a frying pan.
	Oh, they get so, yeah, it really debilitates.
	They really feel affected by it.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, sometimes I feel like I should go back through my 20s and just do like an apology to her.
	Go to cities where some of these women live.
	Bring them and their current husband up on stage.
	I had that in Phoenix.
	I hooked up with some comedy club waitress 10 years ago.
	And I did the theater a year ago, and she came out with her husband, and it was awkward.
	He was like, I know everything.
	I'm cool with it, man.
	But he's shaking your hand real tight and giving you like a weird, aggressive hug.
	He said he knew everything?
	Yeah.
	He was like, ah, she told me everything, but hey, it's all good.
	You come here, you big dilute.
	And he's nugging me.
	And I'm like, this is weird.
	He doesn't like this.
	God, that is weird, huh?
	Yeah.
	And this girl had a Nutella fetish.
	So she would make me put my dick in Nutella.
	Ooh.
	Yeah.
	European.
	Yeah, hazelnuts.
	I gave her the hazelnut.
	Yay!
	Yeah.
	Two pumps.
	Oh, dude, that's interesting.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think of some good.
	Yeah, dude, it was, oh, that shit was traumatic for me.
	Oh, the worst.
	The worst.
	Not to keep harping on it, but that was tough, man.
	But that anxiety.
	Yeah, it was just, it was so much anxiety being around.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know, and then it starts to dissipate.
	It shows how powerful your brain is because, like, she would, a girl would leave after I couldn't get it up and I was so bummed out.
	And I put porn on and I'm hard in two seconds.
	It's all mental.
	You just got to get a, your brain's like a horse.
	You got to learn how to control it or else it'll just keep galloping into a bad place.
	Yeah.
	Into a place with no boners.
	Yeah, it's tough.
	But like, I took finasteride.
	You know what that is?
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm on it right now.
	Oh, yeah, me too.
	So I would take that and everybody's like, it's going to kill your boners, man.
	You'll have hair, but you won't be able to get hard.
	And I'm like, oh, that can't be true.
	And I bought into it.
	And so I would hook up with girls and I couldn't get up, put it up, but it was all in my head.
	Literally.
	Yeah, it's hair.
	Yeah.
	But I never had a problem.
	But then I had to sit down with myself and go, this is all in your head.
	You're fucking crazy.
	And I got back to it.
	Yeah.
	Well, I take the Bluetooth, man.
	I like them.
	Oh, really?
	And what I like is you can have a nibbleable amount.
	You know, I can eat, you know, how's the evening going?
	How much are you in love with this girl you've been seeing or something?
	And you can try to take it, you know?
	And so, you know, that is nice to be able to have a nibbleable amount.
	That is nice.
	Because the Viagras, dude, I remember when I was in my 20s, I remember I would go, I went and lit, you couldn't just get when they first came out.
	You were like, damn, bro, old people are fucking.
	I remember a dude one time, this black dude came up to me.
	He's like, hey, bro, bro, bro, bro.
	Old people are fucking.
	You know?
	I heard those old folks' homes are just orgies.
	And then he robbed a guy.
	And I was like, oh, dude, this is, that's not even funny, dude.
	I just said that.
	But, but, so I remember I went and lived, a buddy of mine, his dad was getting a prescription.
	So I went and lived with him.
	He was my roommate.
	So I could chirp off his Viagra.
	Wow.
	Just, that's the only reason?
	I mean, I liked the guy as well.
	Sure.
	But the prescription helped.
	It was hard.
	It was like plutonium back in the day.
	It was expensive.
	It was hard to get.
	It was $60 a pill.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Because they know you need to get laid.
	Yeah.
	It's like that AIDS guy who jacked up the price, Martin Skirelli.
	Oh, yeah.
	That fucking slime ball.
	He was that T Cell Hitler, wasn't he?
	T Cell Hitler.
	There you go.
	Piece of shit.
	I know, I know.
	And he's just walking around.
	He's free now?
	Yeah, he's out.
	He's doing podcasts.
	He just did Legion of Skanks.
	They got him.
	No way.
	Pull it up there, Benjo.
	Pull it up.
	What was his name?
	Martin Slurker.
	Skirelli.
	Skirelli.
	Something like that.
	Legion of Skanks.
	I think Gillis was on it as well.
	I think Gillis called him out even.
	But, yeah, that guy really...
	See with the doofus hair.
	He's got the Hitler hair, too.
	He's got the swoop.
	Down one, Martin Skirell.
	I can't believe they had him on.
	I know.
	I mean, he's an interesting kid.
	Let's see him.
	There he is.
	Wow.
	He looks like a 10-year-old.
	He looks like all of the West Memphis 3. He's mushed into one.
	Yeah.
	He kind of looks like the kid from Toy Story.
	Oh, yeah.
	He looks kind of AI.
	There's Lewis J. What a great group.
	It's a fun pod.
	It is fun, huh?
	And Skank Fest is also fun.
	I don't know if you ever been to that.
	I haven't been.
	They invited me one.
	Lewis has invited me two times.
	The weekends have just been, you know, it's tough when you're touring.
	Of course, of course.
	And the one weekend you have off, it's like you want to have it off.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And that, you can't have that.
	Like, you're going all in on that.
	It's booze, it's crazy fans, it's parties.
	Yeah.
	What else were we talking about?
	Boners.
	Oh, yeah.
	But I remember living with that guy.
	But then the problem with the Viagras was you'd start taking them.
	And here was the problem.
	Your face would get so red.
	Yeah.
	And I remember I couldn't bend my arms on someone when I first started taking them.
	Even your arms were boners.
	You would.
	Oh, yeah.
	Wow.
	Damn.
	Because that shit is strong.
	Oh, yeah.
	I felt like a cricket judge, you know?
	You're like the guy at the airport.
	That's all you can move.
	Yeah, it was, that shit is strong.
	I took a half if I needed it.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, I would start getting nibbleable chunks.
	But then even then, I still had problems.
	Really?
	Yep.
	It was just because it was still so in my head.
	Well, here's a question.
	Let me, I wonder if I gave you a Viagra, but it wasn't real.
	I bet if you ate it, you'd still be able to get a boner easier than if you didn't just because of the mental.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Yeah, I bet you're right.
	Like sometimes when I'm really hungover, I drink a cup of coffee and I feel better.
	Sometimes if I smell coffee, I feel better because your brain's like, oh, it's about to come in.
	Just the smell of it.
	So no caffeine has hit me, but just smelling it, my brain goes, oh, we're good.
	Pretty wild.
	Yeah, I think we don't even know the powers of our brain.
	And I think the direction we're headed as a society, I don't know if we're, we're not, that's not the thing we're trying to learn.
	No.
	We're trying to learn the, we're so addicted the other way.
	It's like.
	So true.
	I mean, we are addicted to our phones.
	We are addicted to that next thing.
	We are addicted to vaping, to sugar.
	It's almost like, I don't know, sometimes it feels like the puppeteers, if you will.
	Oh, yeah.
	The people that big sugar, big tech, you know, big pussy.
	Big pharma.
	Yeah, big pharma.
	He was on the Sopranos.
	Oh, yeah.
	Big puss, yeah.
	Oh, bring him up.
	His birthday's today.
	Shut up.
	Bring him up.
	What the hell?
	Is Mercury in retrograde?
	We're connecting here.
	Our periods are synced.
	Bring him up.
	Yeah, we should be on a volleyball team.
	Bring him up, dude.
	You know why?
	It's because it's WNBA All-Star.
	Oh, boy, the spotting must be crazy.
	Oh, the spot up, the spot shooters out there are fucking nuts.
	Just bring up Big Pussy birthday on Twitter.
	There he is.
	Is it?
	77th birthday today.
	Well, a day ago or so.
	Scroll a little?
	Yeah, that's awesome, dude.
	I saw this because somebody, keep scrolling.
	Somebody put, they accidentally put Joey Diaz's picture.
	One fat Italian for another.
	Vincent Pastore.
	Oh, wait, actually, he's Cuban.
	Sorry.
	Yeah.
	Cocksucker.
	God, dude.
	What a one.
	I mean, how do you find a guy like him?
	Yeah.
	One of a kind.
	One in a mill.
	Hope he's all right.
	Yeah.
	You ever take one of those edibles he has?
	No, we did shrooms on his show once.
	I don't think I took an edible over there.
	They don't do it.
	They're called like stars of death.
	at league.
	That's how I felt when I took one.
	I was just in space floating alone.
	Brutal.
	Hated it.
	Well, there's still that famous episode where Owen Benjamin couldn't, he couldn't, he went too deep.
	Damn.
	It's like a mental Viagra because you're like, you know, when they say, if you're hard for four hours, call the police or whatever.
	This, your brain is so high, you feel like you'll never get back to normal.
	Yes.
	Scares the shit out of me.
	That is the, that's the exact, dude.
	That's the perfect statement.
	That's the, that's the scariest part about some of the drugs is that you're not going to get back to normal.
	Yes.
	It's that Alice in Wonderland shit where you're like, I guess I'm here now.
	This is my life.
	Oh, the worst feeling.
	Yeah.
	How will I ever make a sandwich again?
	Oh, my God.
	Forget about it.
	Yeah.
	God, that was unreal.
	I know.
	I don't love weed.
	Yeah, you know, I never could make, but then here's one thing that I noticed after a while.
	Weed, a certain type of weed, would make me be able to do boners.
	Oh, whoa.
	Have boners.
	Because it just, it like trumped whatever little part of my brain was and I could do boners.
	Whoa.
	Oh.
	That's interesting.
	Oh, I remember even texting my mother when it first, and I said, mom, because I told her over the years, you know, about this, you know, I have this problem.
	Really?
	Bro, it was traumatic, man.
	It is pretty traumatic.
	And then you're in relationships and I couldn't have sex with my girlfriend.
	Oh, man.
	This is horrible.
	Can marijuana save your sex life?
	A growing number of doctors are prescribing THE for everything from erectile dysfunction to difficulty orgasming.
	Look at that.
	You are ahead of your time.
	We've known for a while, at least anecdotally, that cannabis can enhance the sexual experiences of women.
	Now, I've also noticed it'll make your wife feel like a new woman you've never met.
	When you're high.
	When you're high.
	Totally, totally.
	You're like, oh, these tits are new.
	These shoulders are new.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But a recent survey of medical cannabis users conducted by HelloMD, a telemedicine.
	Let's scroll down.
	Platform found that men and women had seen a boost in their sex life.
	How do you like that?
	See, when I'm high, I'm not horny.
	Really?
	I'm just in my head too much.
	I'm thinking about, you know, sofas and cookies.
	But is that an indica, though?
	I wonder if it's the wrong strand.
	Maybe.
	I don't know my strands that well.
	Yeah.
	Indica's in the couch, and then sativa is like the energetic one.
	Oh, I think it's vice versa.
	Oh, is that right?
	Okay.
	Ben, what is it?
	Yeah, they say the in-to-couch thing.
	So it's basically Indica's kind of mellow and the other one will kind of give you an energy, but it really doesn't matter.
	Damn, well, then I've been doing it all on for a long time, dude.
	You're smoking something, getting boners.
	Yeah.
	But that was good, man, when I got those boners, dude.
	It was fun.
	It's a great feeling.
	You got married.
	Now you're off the market.
	I'm off the market.
	Happily married.
	Got a great lady.
	And we're going to maybe have some rug rats.
	Do the whole thing.
	Are you guys doing embryo?
	Are you guys going to outsource it now?
	Nah, She's young enough.
	So I think we're going to just try to shoot loads.
	Fill up that yum tunnel.
	Huh?
	There she is.
	Hey, there's the lady.
	Oh, wow, dude.
	Bro, was that scary for you?
	Was it scary to commit to being married?
	Of course.
	Terrifying.
	I still wake up every day scared.
	Oh, wow.
	She's hot, huh?
	Oh, hey, thanks.
	I mean, I'm not looking at her, but she seems hot.
	She's got an ample bosom.
	Great gal.
	Funny.
	She's funny?
	Yeah, really funny.
	I can't, she says horrible shit around the house.
	Like, if anybody, if Alexa was just like, I've been listening to the whole thing, I'm going to tell everybody, we'd all go to jail.
	But I like that.
	You know, you know, you hang out with a girl and you say some offensive joke and she's like, okay.
	Yeah.
	Like, all right, we could never hang out.
	Yeah.
	She's the opposite.
	She's a psycho.
	Was that one of the first, like, is that, that's definitely a thing.
	You have to have a woman who's funny or gets, at least also who gets jokes.
	Gets it.
	That's even more important.
	She's got a great laugh.
	Don't you love a lady with a laugh?
	Yeah, dude.
	I used to think, yeah, if I could have got my mother to laugh at me, then I don't know if I ever would have done any of the jokes.
	No, you'd be sane.
	You'd have no mullet.
	You'd be working at, you know, Pinkberry.
	Yeah, I'd be a manager.
	Yeah, you'd just have a normal life.
	Oh, I'd have, yeah, I'd have been a local attorney.
	You would have been, too.
	Oh, really?
	I think in Louisiana?
	Ah, dude, declare.
	My client did not rape that woman.
	They're always sweating, too.
	Like, there's no AC in the South.
	Yeah, dude.
	Even if they are, we'd have been wearing sear.
	Bro, from New Orleans, we would have been wearing sear sucker suits.
	Oh, yeah.
	We'd have been eating fried shrimp every day.
	Yeah, mint juleps.
	Oh, yeah.
	And begging some judge to give our client some leniency and probably some ambulance chaser fraud.
	Oh, remember Morris Bart?
	Oh, yeah.
	One call, that's all.
	I'm on your side.
	Yeah.
	Remember Chip 4 Stall?
	Yeah, whoa.
	You're blowing my mind.
	Chip 4 stall takes care of it all.
	Dude, every town, the family that I went to live with, the dad worked for Chip 4 Stall, so I got to go meet him.
	Whoa, that was big.
	He was a celebrity.
	He was a big shot.
	In Louisiana, Morris Bart, Chip 4 Stall, Morgus, the presenter.
	Oh, shit.
	Yeah.
	How about 1825?
	Two Lane.
	Whoa, you knew that one out in, was it Covington?
	Covington, we knew that?
	Yeah, dude.
	That was good, man.
	No one knows what the hell we're talking about except for like three people.
	Yeah, they were just small, like, everybody has their local like attorneys or grocery stores.
	Yeah, the billboards you see.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, Louisiana had theirs, and those were some of the biggest ones around the area.
	Yeah, and you know what's fun is when you do the road and you just flip through the hotel TV and some like, crazy Carls, fireworks, Sunday, come on down, have fun.
	It's Wheelchair Wednesday.
	And crazy Carls, we've got the ramps out.
	Right, right.
	I love that because it feels homey.
	You feel like, oh, this is a little community here.
	Well, it's another thing that we've lost by everything just being so like, like when Sirius bought out all the radio stations, when everything just got so big, it's like the value of your hometown or whatever, unless you really care, there's not as many like little things that bring, that have, that bring people together like in a common space, you know?
	100%.
	Those old auto guys, like they were selling car, used car guys would write.
	I see, I see.
	Let her have it.
	Let her have it.
	That was the guy by us, dude.
	Yeah, that was, I think it was a furniture store.
	Well, there's that famous racist furniture ad that goes on, you know, there's like, bring up racist furniture store.
	Racist furniture is a funny horror movie.
	You sit down in a chair and you're like, I hate Jews.
	Like, it makes you racist.
	Bro, yeah, yeah.
	It's like that hat on Harry Potter.
	Oh, yeah.
	We're in the courtroom like, he had the hat on, sir.
	He was laying on the racist couch.
	He loves Asians.
	Oh, man.
	What was I thinking about?
	What were you talking about?
	Oh, well, let's see.
	Are we talking about boners, racist furniture, special?
	Uh-oh, yeah, these killer whales are running amok.
	Yeah, well, they killed a bunch of them at this.
	I saw this.
	There was a cruise ship pulling into port.
	Where was this at?
	What?
	A lot of times on cruise liners, people will go out and witness when the ship comes into port.
	It's like a big moment and people out there with their kids and like, hey, we're there.
	We're in, you know, Mexico.
	We're in some made-up Mexican, like Plentabaya or something.
	Like, oh, have you been to Plentabaya?
	Right.
	Every year, it's like a new place that never existed the year before.
	I know.
	Like Tulum.
	Yeah.
	I never heard about Tulum.
	And then one day, that's all I hear about it.
	Is every white person's going, well, we're summering in Tulum.
	Yeah.
	And we're also, and also it seems kind of sex trafficky, doesn't it?
	Oh, yeah.
	There's a lot of that going on in the Mexico.
	It seems like a lot of people just like a lot of companies just flying chicks down there and banging them.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And more power to them.
	You're making the world a better place.
	Not for them.
	Right, right.
	A cruise line has apologized to over 1,000 of its passengers after one of its ships arrived at the port in the middle of a whale hunt where dozens of the marine mammals were being slaughtered.
	Aren't they endangered?
	Yeah, why were they doing it?
	Can we go up and see this?
	These poor whales, man.
	Incredibly disappointed that this hunt occurred at the time that our ship was in port.
	Well, no wonder the orcas are pissed.
	Yeah, as has been.
	Whaling still occurs in the Faroe Islands today.
	They've eaten pilot whale meat and blubber since they first settled the islands, so it's just part of their tradition there.
	Today, as in times past, the whale drive is a community activity open to all.
	Damn, see, it's funny how progressive people love brown people and immigrants, but they couldn't agree less with progressive people.
	They're like, we're going to kill animals.
	There's a lot of gender roles.
	You know, like these old school Tribe people, or whatever you want to call them, they're wild.
	Oh, I see what you're saying.
	They're like, we should give all this place back to the native inhabitants, but then the native inhabitants do stuff like this, which is something that progressive people would be totally against.
	Exactly, exactly.
	Like, we make a gay joke that's off color, and people are like, you know, cancel them.
	These guys are doing crazy shit.
	Yeah.
	It's like hitting their women and stuff.
	Well, it's also like, I used to think about how like they would sell like, like, it's fancy spas.
	They sell like mud baths and stuff.
	Yeah.
	But if you go to, but then they have countries, literally, where kids are bathed in mud and they're like, we got to help them.
	Right, right.
	What do you mean?
	That costs $300.
	That's hilarious.
	You ever notice, too, about these spas?
	I did a gig in like San Diego.
	It was like a rich area.
	And it's all these hot moms with little dogs and their Mercedes.
	Oh, yeah.
	And they go into a spa all day and get massaged and the kiwi on the eye and all that.
	And I'm like, who needs a spa less than you?
	These roofers or Lanskin, they need a spa day.
	They need a foot massage.
	Oh, yeah.
	Dude, imagine.
	Have you seen that guy, Vic Blenz, that rolls up and cuts people's hair?
	No.
	Like a drive-by cutting?
	No.
	Too hard.
	It's consensual.
	Yeah, it's consensual.
	He pulls up.
	What?
	He's a really neat guy.
	He's on TikTok and he pulls up and it's mostly and he likes trimming up brothers, right?
	Yeah.
	Really, which is, you know, he favors a black community, I think.
	I haven't seen, the ones I've seen, it's all young black men that he's trimming.
	And it's cool.
	It's like, you know, it's a lot of times it's a guy I saw one the other day.
	It was a garbage man, right?
	The guy's in a truck working.
	He's like, hey, man, why don't you take a break for 10, you know, 10 minutes?
	Let me tighten you up.
	Yeah.
	So he kind of like gets, you know, it's just like, it's like a, it's pretty beautiful what he does.
	Okay.
	Because right now it feels like a trap.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	This does feel like weird.
	Yeah.
	Like, give me your kid for 20 minutes.
	Yeah.
	This feel, uh, so he does that and then, oh, shit, what were we talking about?
	Uh, wait, shit.
	What was that?
	Oh, right before that, though.
	Oh, shit.
	I just had it.
	Oh, spa.
	Oh, yeah, the spa.
	So.
	Who needs a spa less?
	The mud bath.
	Right.
	Wouldn't it be great if there was a foot massager that did what Vic Blenz does?
	Oh, yeah.
	And he just rolls up on a couple brothers like, hey, boys, y'all look like y'all had a tough day out here.
	I don't know if the bros would go for that.
	That would still be fucking wild.
	That would be wild.
	Hey, let me touch up them low nuggets, homie.
	You know what I'm saying, boy?
	That's why I'm so jealous.
	Not to change sub, but I'm jealous of guys who are in a feet.
	Yeah.
	Because they're everywhere.
	Like, we like tits, but you don't really get to see tits out in the wild, but flip-flops, open-toe sandal, barefoot women, they're just there.
	That's true.
	I never thought about that.
	Must be nice.
	Yeah, it must be nice to live in just an assorghus bore.
	Like everywhere's a nudist colony.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I mean, and you could be one of those guys like, hey, you're coming in here.
	You got to take your shoes off and come to my house.
	I can't do that with a bra.
	And everybody wants a foot massage.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's the thing.
	You roll up, be like, hey, let me just, let me touch them hooves, baby.
	Yeah.
	And they're like, please, I had a hard day in these heels.
	Oh, dude, if somebody came up right now, a strong, I think it would have to be a woman, though, for me to do it.
	I don't want a man pushing around in my feet and feeling me like that.
	No, I think I'd prefer a man.
	Really?
	Well, I don't want to, I got bad feet.
	I got a yellow toenail, a bunion, a canker, a hemorrhoid.
	It's bad down there.
	Why you have a hemorrhoid?
	Well, what do you got?
	A bunion.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's like a foot hemorrhoid.
	It's like, yeah, if you're shitting out of your foot, you're not doing good.
	Not there yet.
	Yeah, the roll-up foot massage, that's not bad.
	What else was I thinking about, dude?
	So you guys are living in New York, though?
	Living in New York?
	Spouse, you feeling good about it?
	Feeling good.
	We're going to buy a place in Brooklyn, like a bigger place with a yard and stuff.
	Sorry.
	So that'll be fun.
	And yeah.
	You see my boy Louis around ever?
	Louis C.K.?
	Sure, he's around.
	I love him.
	Yeah, he's great.
	God, dude, I don't know if there's anybody funnier than him.
	I mean, he's definitely one of the best of all time.
	For sure.
	Just his bro.
	Like, I'll talk to him on the phone.
	And I'm not trying to humble brag or anything.
	I mean, I love, he just, and he, I'm laughing so hard.
	Yeah.
	He loves you.
	He really, I listened to that episode and he really blew you, which is rare for him.
	It was nice of him.
	He and I have become buddies.
	Oh, that's great.
	Yeah.
	So again, like David Spage, did you ever think?
	Oh, I can't even imagine.
	I used to watch him on Comedy Central when I was in college.
	Yeah.
	It's crazy.
	Dude, yeah.
	That's what's great about comedy is like if you're just some guitar, bar, guitar guy, you're never going to meet Mick Jagger.
	Yeah.
	He's the top.
	But we can meet top comedians.
	I've met Seinfeld and all these guys.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's not that weird.
	We're all comics.
	Yeah.
	There's less pretension in comedy.
	Oh, that's interesting.
	Yeah, there's less pretension in it.
	Yeah, one crazy thing.
	So at the UFC, Shane Gillis had on Versace, huh?
	Yeah.
	Did he change her?
	That did not feel like him.
	He's always the black t-shirt guy.
	Yeah.
	I was like, wow, somebody, you know.
	Yeah, well, you get out there with the Rogans and the UFC.
	You start changing, you know, you get that evil in you.
	It's something that happens, man.
	You want to buy a Tiger and buy like a cool car?
	Yeah, get a face tat.
	Yeah, yeah, Mike Tyson.
	What comedy would be most likely, do you think, to get a face tat?
	Well, Dahlia got a neck.
	That's as close as you can get.
	Yeah.
	Face tat's tough.
	Yeah, who would it be?
	Maybe Louis J. Oh, yeah.
	That's pretty good.
	Because he's into fighting and stuff.
	He's into jiu-jitsu.
	He's a tough guy.
	I don't think it would look bad on him.
	No, it would work.
	Right, it would work.
	I think Cat Williams could do something.
	Something nutty on the face.
	I can't decide what he would do.
	He's my number one podcast guest that I want to have.
	Oh, his feet wouldn't hit the floor.
	He's so little.
	He's cute.
	Oh, he's tiny, but he's so fucking funny.
	Wow.
	Oh, yeah.
	I always thought he should have done comedians and cars with coffee.
	Just those two in a car together couldn't be more different.
	Oh, man, that would have been gold.
	That would have been so gold.
	Wow.
	Yeah, he does these arenas.
	My friend used to open for him.
	He's got stories.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	One time he was late, apparently, and he gets paid in cash and an arena.
	You're making a lot of money.
	And so you have to use two hands probably to put that bag on his back.
	That's expensive.
	That's a lot of.
	Tons.
	Tons of cash.
	But he was late for the gig, so he felt bad.
	So he said, pay me now.
	And he was throwing the money out into the audience.
	Wow.
	Crazy.
	And he's only famous from, I guess he did some BT stuff, but I think he was just on a movie.
	Well, he did that comedy special in the green or purple jacket.
	Which one was it?
	He's had a couple.
	But yeah, he's so funny.
	Oh, he does have a face tattoo.
	Oh, I called it.
	Oh, he tattooed a goatee on.
	Damn, he could have just waited.
	He didn't need to do that.
	Oh, there he is right there.
	That was the one.
	Polo tink tank.
	Remember that?
	Yeah, Pimp Chronicles.
	God, it was so good.
	Imagine seeing him at an open mic.
	Like, how does a guy like that start?
	Was he like, hey, Milk's weird?
	Yeah.
	You know, or did he just come out of the gate in that suit?
	That's a great point.
	I couldn't even imagine Cat Williams at like his going to do his first comedy set.
	Wild.
	Well, a lot of black guys are just built.
	Black people have some just built-in funny.
	Black people have so much fun joking and making fun of you.
	It's like it's always like that, like the kids around the middle school table.
	Yeah.
	Totally.
	That energy keeps forever in the black community, I feel like.
	I know.
	It's a lot of energy and ball busty.
	And they say funny shit like you got a, you got a head like a box cutter.
	And you're like, damn, how'd you think of that?
	Damn, Larry got that box cutter.
	Larry got that box cutter.
	I know.
	And there's a box cutter.
	Then it's a dance.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Never ends.
	It never ends.
	Like, damn, I was hoping that box cutter, they wouldn't catch on.
	Damn, Larry working for UPS with that head.
	That's one nice thing about growing up in Louisiana.
	We were exposed to a lot of that.
	That's a good point, man.
	And there was always, you always wanted to make black people laugh.
	I mean, if you could get the, and also black, a lot of black guys, when I was growing up, you know, a lot of black guys were real scary.
	You know, there was a little violence.
	So you had to fuck, you had to be like, I got to make this guy fucking laugh.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.
	He didn't have a dad.
	Yeah.
	Somebody's got to fucking bring some.
	I have to at least bring, like, yeah, there was something about that, man.
	Yeah.
	It's like if, because you had to find some way to communicate with black, it was tough back then.
	It was different.
	It was a little different.
	It was definitely different.
	There was a clear tension.
	You know, like you would walk up and the record would scratch.
	Yeah, dude.
	You felt definitely uncomfortable.
	Yeah.
	You think that tension will ever go away in the world?
	Like the tension from, because there's a lot of, there's also a lot of like black, there's a lot, people always, racism always gets blamed on white people, right?
	Sure.
	I feel like, which is very exhausting because as a modern day person, you can't do anything to go into the past.
	I know, I know.
	It's tough.
	And I get it.
	I get the anger.
	Yeah, if I could go into the past, like, you know, 600 years ago or something and work for the Coast Guard or whatever.
	Sure.
	You know, I would have shut all that stuff down.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But you think maybe, but it was so normal then.
	You might have just gone with it.
	It's like being a Nazi.
	I don't know.
	I think I would have.
	I don't think I would have either, just because I want to be liked.
	So I don't care what you look like.
	Yeah.
	I'm still going to tap dance for you.
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	But yeah, that is tough.
	But do you think that, and then I think the hatred and stuff like that, it just gets stuck in D. Sometimes you get stuck in DNA, you know?
	Of course.
	I think some of that stuff takes, like, if your grandparents went through a ton of pain or an unfair life, then I think that gets in the DNA and it takes generations for it to pass through, right?
	Yeah, I agree, but we'll find any way to hate another group.
	It doesn't have to just be skin color.
	You like Rwanda, what is that?
	The Shoot Tus and the Shiites and the Tutus and the Tutsis.
	Yeah, they're both black, but they hate each other.
	We'll always find a way, you know, with the left and right.
	It's all you need now.
	Yeah, I wonder if that is.
	Yeah, you know, I think a lot about that.
	Is that just part of nature?
	Because nature is that too.
	You know, a zoo, if you took the cages down in a zoo, half those animals would immediately kill the other half.
	Exactly.
	It's like jail.
	They always go Aryan nation, black guy, Mexican guy.
	Yeah.
	And if you're Asian, you're getting fucked.
	Yeah, dude.
	Oh, you're though.
	You're a, you're like a little Christmas ham.
	You're a little sitting duck sauce.
	Oh, that's good, dude.
	Yeah, it's just tribal.
	It's in the DNA.
	We had to survive like that for hundreds of years.
	And sometimes I wonder, do we ever get to a point where there is any of that?
	Or is that just, you know, like, will that just always be nature and this idea that one day everything will be completely harmonious?
	Well, it's better now than it's ever been.
	Yeah, I think, especially with young people, you see that.
	Definitely, definitely.
	Like, you'll see young kids of like different ethnicities and stuff hanging out and it's totally chill.
	Yeah.
	I'm like, holy, you don't even realize this guy's a Chinaman?
	I know.
	He's got the chopsticks and everything.
	Like, what are you kids doing?
	Yeah, if you want to be racist now, you have to have a chart.
	You literally have to know math.
	Like, you have to be able to divide and figure it out.
	But now it used to be racial divide or gay divide or men-women divide.
	Now it's, oh, you disagree with my ideology or whatever.
	You're no friend of mine.
	Yeah.
	You know, it's all become opinion-based now instead of color-based.
	So we still have hatred.
	We just put it into a different gutter.
	Yeah, it's just kind of, you know, that's the thing.
	Being alive is just interesting because you're like, okay, will this kind of stuff always be there?
	I know.
	I just think you can't get rid of everything.
	And it's all cyclical.
	Like, I saw this thing in the 70s where, like, battle of the sexes, men and women aren't getting along.
	And you're like, oh, that's just like now we're not that different.
	Yeah.
	But you know, you ever see a dog about to take a nap and he circles the rug three times, then sits down?
	Oh, yeah.
	You know what that is?
	That's sundowners, isn't it?
	Well, what is that?
	Oh, a dog?
	You know what?
	It circles around, then it sits, lays down.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	They're flattening the grass from the wolf days.
	That's just in the DNA.
	So that shit is imprinted.
	Yeah.
	So I'm just saying, like, we're always going to be tribal.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	I think about this.
	Like, the other day, I don't like being in traffic that much.
	Right.
	And if it's on the interstate sometimes and there's a holdup, I'll go around the side.
	Sure.
	Right.
	I'll just go.
	I'm willing to get up there and see the cop and he's like, hey, you're going to jail.
	That's fine.
	I'd rather go to jail than sit back there and wonder why somebody's holding me up.
	I'm with you.
	But then I realized the other day, what if like 20 cars just said, you know what?
	Fuck it.
	We're not doing the rules anymore.
	Yeah.
	How far after that tipping point does that, you know, like if one police precinct gets taken over by a group of fucking anarchists or whatever?
	Oh, yeah, it's happened.
	How, like, how, like, the scale doesn't have to tip much before everything goes into anarchy.
	Oh, dude.
	It's so true.
	We had a hurricane in New York a couple years ago and all the power went out.
	It took 20 minutes for it just to become martial law.
	You heard gunshot, glass breaking, a woman.
	You didn't know what was going on.
	It was pitch black in the city with millions of people.
	It happened in 20 minutes.
	It went to full chaos.
	Yeah.
	Like, it's so fragile.
	The line that we're on of like Oregon like that.
	No, no, no.
	It's basically lines in the road.
	Yes.
	They keep us in shape, but it's real easy to drive over that line.
	Yeah, and that's what I realized.
	I was like, oh, I can just do this.
	Like, of course I can face some repercussions, but if everybody right now decided to do this.
	Then what are the cops going to do?
	Right.
	If everybody, if, yeah.
	All it takes is enough people saying, fuck this right now at the same time.
	Exactly.
	Well, that's how gays got marriage.
	Yeah.
	They just enough of them got together like, we're going to break shit or fuck each other or fuck you in the ass.
	So you better let us get married.
	That's a good point.
	Once again, yeah, that's a, and that was the move gay dudes should have done.
	Like, hey, governor, we're coming to, you're going to, somebody's fucking you, buddy.
	Like, all right.
	All right.
	Do whatever you want.
	Yeah, do what you want.
	Yeah, go to, go to Claire's.
	Make it happen, man.
	You're going to have Claire's.
	You're going to have this neighborhood.
	Man.
	Gays will fix a neighborhood.
	Yeah, there's something special about Gays, huh?
	They really are.
	They're a magical people because they can't reproduce, but they keep popping up.
	Yeah.
	Isn't that why?
	They're not even worried.
	Like, Jews are like, we got to make more of us.
	You know, we're going away.
	But Gays are like, we're going to be all right.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yes.
	God's doing it for us.
	Somebody is.
	Yeah.
	Well, they had that, you know, Kennedy was on Rogan talking about that atrazine.
	Can you look that up?
	Where they put some frogs in this chemical called atrazine.
	They put it in the water where the frogs lived.
	And some of the frogs, their gender changed.
	No way.
	Over time.
	And then he was saying that there's a level, and don't quote me.
	Maybe you can quote me on this if you can bring it up.
	That there's a level of atrazine in the water supply in some places.
	Oh, shit.
	So that could be part of the reason why suddenly you have people whose gender kind of seems like in the wind.
	Whoa, fascinating and scary.
	What do we got here?
	If you expose frogs to atrazine, male frogs, it changes their sex and they can actually bear young.
	They can lay eggs, fertile eggs.
	Transphibian.
	Yeah, that's transphibians, dude.
	Whoa.
	And find another article on that.
	See if we can see an article where we can see it in.
	Alex Jones got yelled at for for making that frogs game meme.
	It's the exact same thing.
	Oh, it is?
	Yep.
	But is there another article if you go down anymore?
	Oh, yeah.
	The herbicide atrazine is one of the most commonly applied pesticides in the world.
	So it's in a lot of, they're spraying it on crops.
	As a result, atrazine is the most commonly detected pesticide contaminant of ground surface and drinking water.
	Atrazine is also a potent endocrine disruptor that is active at low ecologically relevant concentrations.
	Previous studies showed that atrazine adversely affects amphibian larval development.
	The present study demonstrates that the reproductive consequences of atrazine exposure in adult amphibians were both demasculinized and completely feminized as adults.
	10% of the exposed genetic males developed into functional females that copulated with unexposed males and produced viable eggs.
	Damn.
	Wow.
	Scary stuff.
	I mean, that's, is this legitimate?
	What site is this from?
	This has been a thing for a long time, actually.
	Okay.
	Atrazine induces complete feminization and chemical crastiation in male African clawed frogs.
	Dude, and if you can do that to an African, you could easily do it to a white.
	That's true, yeah.
	African makes everything kicks it all up in a African killer bees.
	You're like, oh, shit.
	Yeah.
	I'm not fucking with them.
	Yeah, but some local honeybee dude, oh, sootomize that thing.
	Yeah.
	But no, African is, you know, it's tough.
	I mean, Africans are made out of tough.
	They, you know, they have tougher head.
	They're tough.
	They're fucking tough.
	They're tough people.
	And they have the history, you know, dude, I remember looking into an African dude's eyes one time.
	You could see, bro, I feel like you could see a fire like 30,000 years ago.
	I believe it.
	You don't want to fuck with them.
	Like the timeline, you know?
	Yeah, he was just digging a diamond mine four years ago.
	Oh, yeah.
	And now he's selling a purse in Broadway.
	Whereas you look into some honky's eyes over there in Topeka, you know.
	It's somebody having a muffin two weeks ago.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's a chick holding a small dog in there.
	That's it.
	With a yoga mat.
	What topic were we just about to get into?
	Wrap up.
	I know you got a show.
	Oh, shit.
	I'm going to jump on stage with you.
	Is that okay?
	Please.
	That'd be great.
	I want to see this new old bit.
	Yeah, dude.
	And I don't want you to have to work too much tonight.
	Oh, yeah, I'm on fumes, but we're going to have fun.
	Yeah, I had to get, I mean, I didn't sleep last night.
	I just went to the airport.
	And yeah, I got a new disguise that I wear when I go through the airport.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	What do you?
	Well, I guess you can't give it away.
	Yeah, I probably can, but I'll put a picture in.
	Okay.
	Because I don't have the shades on me that I wear.
	It's just a full clan hood.
	Just walking through an airport.
	Credit cards.
	Sign up for your credit cards.
	No, there was something we were just...
	Do you think.
	You got to worry, though.
	I don't want to get Roseanne here.
	Really?
	Well, I just don't.
	Sometimes I worry, though, your episode's getting clipped like crazy.
	Oh, yeah.
	They got...
	But I had a lot of people reach out and support.
	Yeah.
	And then Elon Musk shared the episode.
	That's insane.
	Which if he can, if they could find a way where you could, say, post an episode onto, if they could just find a way to make a player on there.
	Oh, like a screen, a TV thing?
	Right, right.
	Because now you can put a full episode, but if they could make it where if you click on that, like, you know, Twitter has a little box as you're, whatever you want to watch.
	So you're on your laptop, you see like this little, okay, this is here.
	Let me, I can click on it, make it bigger.
	Yeah.
	If you clicked on something that had a video in it, right?
	If it went, if it expanded into a bigger player, like an actual, like, okay, you can navigate the screen easier just for the video things.
	That's like a streaming.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	If just when you clicked on that, it expanded into a stream.
	Immediately that square went into a, like, morphed into a streaming platform of sorts.
	Right.
	That's good.
	Then it would be really fascinating because now you have an avid player, right?
	That people can put stuff in and they can move on the timeline easier.
	I think that's what they're trying to get to.
	I think that's a great idea.
	And the porn on Twitter is wild.
	That's another thing because it's like, yeah, you're trying to learn and then you're jerking off.
	Yeah, you got an animal attack and then anal.
	Yeah.
	It's a lot.
	Colin Quinn always says Twitter's like giving yourself schizophrenia because there's just a million opinions and ideas and hate and anger and a sandwich coming at you at once.
	It's a lot of shit.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it is.
	It's like, and I think we're starting to realize that this stuff is really bad for our brain.
	Oh, 100%.
	And it's defeating people.
	It's like people don't have their own ideas anymore.
	And I notice I have to give my brain.
	I have to say I cannot look through stuff.
	You got to do it.
	Because that's the war these days.
	You want a Vietnam these days.
	The enemy is whatever's trying to take your attention.
	I know.
	And they're so good at it.
	They got that algo TikTok.
	I got twerking Chinese women and shit.
	And you're like, how can I turn this off?
	Yeah.
	It's like Down syndrome guy who loves pro wrestling.
	You're like, oh, black people seeing magic.
	Yeah.
	You can't beat it.
	Yeah.
	And they just want, and right when you almost get a little bit bored, they flip it to a new thing.
	You're like, what's this?
	So.
	Did you know historically?
	Yeah, I get a lot of this historical things too that come through.
	And then the murder, the crime report.
	Brian Koberger, they just found a glove.
	Dude, I was thinking about this, man, about like with a lot of people that come out to see comedians.
	And I notice I have a tough time.
	Like, do you ever have a, do you have a tough time feeling proud of yourself, do you think?
	Of course.
	Yeah.
	It's hard to absorb that.
	I'm working on it.
	You got to sit and just tell yourself to be grateful.
	Well, being grateful, I think, but yeah, like I can feel grateful, I think, but I think feeling proud of myself, I'm noticing, because I've noticed a lot of times people are like, man, you should be proud of yourself, you know?
	And it doesn't even land anywhere with me.
	Like, I hear them and I believe them and I know that.
	And it's not like I don't want to, but it's almost like no, it's like you never learn that, like there was never any knowledge put into you of like, this is how you feel proud of yourself.
	This is what pride feels, you know, like.
	Yeah, I have the same thing.
	Why do we have that?
	I don't know.
	Because one negative comment, I'll sit on that for three weeks.
	Yeah.
	But the pride thing, nothing.
	Yeah, why is it so hard?
	Why is it so hard to feel?
	Because proud of yourself, you're saying somebody's saying, hey, you should feel good about yourself for this thing.
	To me, a lot of times, if I start to feel proud of myself, it goes to ego.
	It's like you should.
	But you don't want that either.
	Right, right.
	And you really want to try and stay away from that.
	So, yeah, I don't know.
	It's interesting.
	I wonder, too, if it's something that, and I'm not trying to have self-pity or blame parents or anything, but is it something that you have to learn as a kid?
	Like, do, because that's a weird thing you wouldn't think to teach your kid.
	Yeah, but how do you teach being proud?
	You know, like, I have, I get, I don't get pride with comedy, even though we should.
	Look, you've built an empire.
	You got your big house with the studio and the specials and money and all this.
	But then that does nothing for me.
	And then if I'm at a party and somebody goes, that's a good question.
	I'm like, oh, oh, I had a good question.
	Oh, totally.
	I love that.
	But the comedy thing is hard to take in.
	Yeah, man.
	And it's funny, dude.
	It's like, and I have a, yeah, I have a nice home here and it's nothing crazy.
	This is beautiful.
	You know, thank you.
	Yeah, it is.
	But it is nice, right?
	I'm happy to have, it's funny.
	I felt I felt as ashamed to show my home as I did to show my apartment that we lived in when I was a kid.
	Just a different kind of shame?
	Well, like, I don't want people thinking, I don't want people seeing that I don't have anything.
	And then I don't want people seeing that I do have something.
	Yeah, I totally get it.
	I know what you mean.
	Because you'll get zinged either way.
	Yeah, I can't figure out what it is.
	It's just like no matter.
	You don't want to stand out.
	You want to be in the middle.
	We want to blend.
	If you're poor, everybody's like, look at the poor loser.
	And if you're rich, you're like, look at this asshole.
	Yeah.
	And I think I always, I think I all rich people, when I was growing up, was always the nemesis, dude.
	Of course.
	Still is.
	When they found those submarine cleefs, they were like, all these poor guys.
	And then they go, hey, they're billionaires.
	And they go, ah, fuck them.
	Like, wait, what?
	Still people with feelings.
	I never got that rich hate, but it's 100% right.
	In the movies, it was always the yeah, the fucking rich guy.
	And I think, yeah, and I don't think part of you never changes.
	I'll always hate the fucking rich guy.
	Yeah, yeah, you know, because I think also I know I could easily the part of me that's the poor guy will always is always going to be there.
	Of course, you know, the only things that are easier is just knowing that my rent will be paid and that I'm going to have food.
	But outside of that, it's like, how do I, I want to figure out better things to do with earning money or with making things fair in the world, I think.
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	But do you ever think if you had, if you started feeling proud, you might work less?
	Like that non-pride is kind of motivating you to chase it.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	There's something about like the desire to want to do things that you're so fortunate that that's in you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's, it's kind of a double-edged sword because you're never happy with your work.
	So you keep working.
	Right.
	But if you were happy with it, you might just take a break or slow down.
	Yeah, it's just interesting to think about.
	And I'm sure a lot of people deal with that.
	And so that's why I wanted to think about that.
	About how hard it is to accept pride.
	So it makes you wonder, is it a good thing or a bad thing?
	Because it sucks you can't accept it, but it's also keeping you a fire in your dick.
	Yeah.
	And you need that.
	You need people that have a fire.
	Like, what if guys like some of the greatest creators of our time, you know, if Einstein, if Mattel, if Tyson, you know.
	Chicken or the boxer?
	Chicken.
	Okay.
	But if people just got, or like, oh, after his first nugget, he's like, I'm done.
	Right.
	And he never makes the meals.
	Yeah, you see?
	It pays to be insecure.
	Yeah.
	It keeps you going.
	Yeah.
	There's some value in all of it.
	Soup to nuts.
	That's your new special.
	Oh, yeah.
	And do you plan a tour right after it?
	I mean, do people get these plans?
	Does it matter to you?
	What are you thinking about?
	I got a big theater tour selling like hot cakes, but hopefully after the special, it sells more.
	We start adding shows.
	But again, I need some new fucking material.
	You'll come, if any, but you come up with it fucking by tomorrow.
	Oh, thanks.
	You're so funny, man.
	Well, I'll try anything.
	I'm throwing shit against the wall.
	You'll see tonight.
	It's going to be a shit show.
	Yeah, good.
	Good, man.
	I'm happy to be over there.
	Thanks for letting me jump on.
	Hey, anytime.
	Mark Norman, people can check out your tour online, on your website, everything.
	Oh, yeah.
	MarkNormanComedy.com.
	Yep.
	And dude, thanks for making time, dude.
	And congrats on all your success, bro.
	Thank you.
	And always a pleasure to see you there, Fatty.
	Yeah, I'm proud of you, man.
	I'm proud of you.
	A couple of Louisiana boys made good.
	What the hell?
	I mean, if you would have showed us at an open mic, I would have gone, these guys are going nowhere.
	And then here we are sitting on some racist furniture.
	Yeah.
	Oh, this thing is fucking, I feel I'm warming up, dude.
	I better slur to fucking set the cooling in.
	Oh, yeah.
	All right, Mark.
	Thank you, brother.
	Thank you.
	Praise Allah.
	Comedy.
	Comedy.
	Now I'm just footing on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found.
	I can feel it in my bones.

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