Theo is back with a new solo episode talking about his recent tour in Florida, fishing with Emeril Lagasse, exploding Bees, and how he’s trying to better himself lately. He also takes time to answer some of your voicemails and video calls.
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Music: “The Come Up” by Eddie 9v: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jHN09U2420
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This Past Weekend
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Get that thing looking damn like a little walnut, baby.
You know what I'm saying?
Still in the shell.
You know what I'm talking about?
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Smooth sack.
Hello, hello.
Happy July.
Happy July to you.
I want to thank you.
I'm happy to be here with you.
I'm happy to be just, you know, sitting here anecdoting with you and just being in your ears.
Just get, you know, creeping my way into your brain.
I'm happy.
I'm happy that you're here.
Happy July to you.
I just got out of an ice plunge.
I've been doing a lot of ice bathing.
You know, I got an ice bath and this company called Blue Cube.
They make them.
And I get in there.
And I need it right now.
You know, I feel real fortunate to have it because I need it.
Because something is happening right now.
And I'm talking about the heat, baby.
The heat?
It is.
I mean, it is.
You go outside, you say, dang.
It's just like a bunch of damn lights just fucking you.
It's hot.
It's damn hot.
You see people, you know, people, you know, you see a kid running through the playground.
Even his hair gets just burn off his head.
Damn, damn, bald children running around.
Oh, just a bunch of hot-headed little kids just steam coming off their head, tickling each other and doing swing setting.
You see it.
You see somebody lose a damn eye, a strong piece of sun hit them and they lose eyebrow.
Somebody, Mr. Ronnie, showing up to work, half a mustache.
They got some strong Rays out there.
And I'm not talking about Sugar Ray Leonard or Sugar Ray the Band, who was all right.
They were all right.
I'm talking about Ray, baby.
The Lord's damn long arm, son.
Mother Nature got that hot nut up there just busting.
Damn, I mean, it's hot.
I got in my truck yesterday.
I couldn't even touch the, I couldn't touch anything.
I got out.
I said, shit, I'm just going to go.
I'll do a damn, I'll just call them.
I can't touch the wheel, the seat.
And God forbid you still have those metal plug-ins for your seat thing.
You're out of work now.
You can't get to work.
It is, I mean, it is hot.
There's heat everywhere.
There's just, I mean, the sun, it's just fucking looking for people.
Irish people are dying.
They're dying.
Name 40 Irish people right now.
I bet you can't.
And that's the SUN, baby.
That's that other bitch, baby, that big dog in the sky.
That big orange ginger MF her son.
You know what I'm talking about.
Sun.
Sun shine.
That bitch is beating people.
That bitch is beating people.
This dang, it's hot.
You know, you see a cat run through a puddle and burn his damn, burn the hair off his legs.
You see it, you know, you see a bird take two sips out of a bird bath and fucking just fall over.
Just damn death soup he ate.
We can't handle it.
And I, you know, I just, I don't know how to stop it.
You know, you can do prayer, you can do umbrellas.
But dang, you know, you almost got to write a damn hymn on the outside of an umbrella to even get a little respite from the heat.
The shit's cooking you, son.
Fuck.
I walk to, I feel like a damn TV dinner halfway through the yard.
I'm going to the mailbox.
I'm like, fuck.
I feel like a damn Salisbury steak.
Damn, I can't handle it.
And then I start hearing, oh, you a little bitch.
Some of the son will say that.
What?
This shit is, this heat is for real.
This shit's from fucking Detroit, son.
It's a different time.
Flowers have given up.
I haven't seen a flower since May.
Them bitches is gone.
They're potpourri now.
You see, you know, you had a rose bush.
That bitch is potpourri now.
It's all, it's steamed out.
Your garden, it's steamed vegetables.
You didn't even want them steamed.
Them bitches is steamed, son.
You better eat now.
It's a wrap.
And I don't know.
People say that it's, you know, global warming.
People say that it's the end of times.
And, you know, it's tough to know exactly what Mother Nature has planned.
Because we Started with the ice age.
That's when Mother Nature, they had so much meat running around in the world.
Mother Nature said, Damn, I'm going to save some.
Hit it with that ice, baby, that big freezer box.
Damn, bam.
I mean, hell, you go with a good pickaxe and a George Foreman grill and a knife and fork up through the Antarctica.
You're going to be living thick, baby.
You're going to be eating well.
Because that's a damn icebox up there.
But it's hot and it's warm in the world, and I hope you're keeping cool, finding a way.
Somebody yesterday mentioned the gas prices too much.
I said, gas, it's hot as fuck.
The last thing anybody needs is gas.
I don't care if that shit is 40 cents a gallon, bitch.
I don't want no gasoline.
Dude, you try to fill your car up, you fucking damn.
That's a carbecue, son.
You fucking gonna get roasted, you idiot.
I'll just call in.
I'll do work over the phone.
That's it.
People want gasoline, bitch.
You out of your mind.
This ain't no time for that.
We don't need that.
We don't need that, man.
It's a wild time, man.
It's a wild time going on out in the world.
I even saw in the news, this is in the news, if you believe in news, and that's okay if you do not, that bees, bees, bumblebees, baby God's little hit men, are ejaculating themselves to death in heat waves.
Bees across Europe may die from the severe heat plaguing the continent this week, ejaculating explosively as they do.
A doctor said, we don't know exactly why, but drones ejaculate when they get too stressed.
Ejaculation kills them because it basically eviscerates their abdomen.
They bust big, son.
A bee, that thing, black and yellow, black and yellow, that thing's, that's that little winged skeet demon.
That thing, a bee, son, that thing.
This happens during natural mating too.
Drone honeybees always die after mating.
That's a tough time right there.
When bees are ejaculating and dying because of the heat.
Too much heat and then, you know, and the bee, they bust out and just eviscerate into the universe.
They can't handle it.
When animals' nuts is busting because of the heat.
When the heat just got these little insects just sun coming.
That's something, baby.
That's the dark art, baby.
That's not good.
That's when the devil's at the door.
Knock, knock, baby.
Who's there?
Bees, baby.
Bees, who?
Bees, nuts, son.
Bees are fucking blowing up.
That's how hot it is.
The animals are fucking just, bam, I'm out.
You got to take care of yourself.
And you got to take care of your cousin.
Put a cold rag on your cousin's neck.
Put an ice cube in the baby's ass, son.
We got to take care of each other.
It's a new time out there.
And the sun is fucking people.
People getting damn, just heat AIDS on their face.
You see somebody got heat AIDS on their neck because the sun just damn got them.
Just, you know.
Bees are flying by and just damn, just skeeting out, blowing up.
It's time to take care of ourselves and it's time to take care of each other.
I believe we can do it.
Now let's get into the episode, baby.
Welcome to this past weekend.
No more.
No more.
i wanna come up yeah feels real good i've been so blue I'm on a comma.
It feels so good to have a brand new view.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I just broke up with my baby.
Now I can finally get the love on you.
Mm, mm, mm, mm, yeah, yeah.
Come on.
Well, I just moved up to Lucky Street when the mayor came and said to me, you're on a comma.
You're on a comma.
And it's plain to see between you and me.
We got so much love and chemistry.
It's about a comma.
It's about a comma.
Well, good things keep on coming.
And there ain't no wind, no running.
I'm on a comma.
You're on a comma.
Yeah.
I like that one.
And I like the young man that makes that music there.
And that is Eddie 9 Volt.
The come up.
And I like them.
I like that music.
I like the sounds that come out of them.
I like the, it makes me feel excited.
It makes me feel hopeful.
It makes me feel like I'm back.
I'm feeling good.
I just got out that cold plunge.
I've been doing a lot of things like that recently.
I got a trainer that I've been using.
I feel fortunate enough to be able to afford that.
And I got a trainer that I've been using.
And man, it's been, it has been helping me to a level I can't even explain.
I went six days this week.
And I feel, I mean, I just feel, you know, I feel more outside of myself.
I don't feel as inside of myself, you know, and I don't feel as in my head because now I'm using my body.
I've got a lot of my blood and a lot of my energy, which was just whirling around in my head, which is not a safe place to be.
Now it's kind of dispersed out.
And I feel a little more even.
You know, I think a long time ago, as human beings, we had to use our senses and we had to use them in the world.
You know, you had to be like, oh, there's a, you know, if you walked out there into the woods, there's a lion possibly.
And you might hear a damn little warbler in the distance and he might be giving you a clue.
Oh, there's a lion, you know.
And you'd have to be careful because maybe there would be poison ivy or poison sumac or some, you know, something.
But you'd have to be aware of your surroundings.
You know, all your feelings were outside of you.
You had to look at the sky.
What is the weather?
What is the air feeling?
What's going on here?
So all of our feelings used to be outside of us.
You had to be aware.
You had to survive.
And then humanity, we got our society, especially in America, we got into more like everybody's comfortable enough.
We all have a bed.
We all have a roof.
You know, it's safe enough.
We don't, you know, we don't, all of our senses, we haven't used them like that in a long time.
So now my senses, I feel like a lot of times they go, they've started to go inward because there's not that alertness that it's not necessary in the outside.
So now they've all gone inward, but they're still hunting the lion.
They're still looking for something that's uncomfortable or dangerous or alarming.
And so that's where I feel like a lot of our mental health is now.
It's like the senses that we used to use to survive, we don't need them outside of us anymore.
So now those sensors, they're lurking around inside of me, looking for lions.
But there is no lions in me.
Unless I'm some kind of damn centaur or something, there is no lions in me.
Or unless I've eaten a couple cuts of lion.
So it just, it finds this, you know, anything that's a little spooky, it finds like things from my past or fears.
It finds some trouble, but it makes it feel like it's a lion, you know.
I don't know if that makes any sense, but to me, part of it does.
It's like all those senses we used to use and need to survive because we were wandering around in a world, in the open, having to go into caves and see if it was safe to sleep, you know, having to, you know, know when the sun's coming up so we could navigate the next day.
We had to just be, a lot of our alertness was outside of our body because it needed to be.
But I've been feeling, I've been feeling a little better, you know, and I've just been, yeah, just trying to focus on taking care of myself.
Yeah, just, you know, going to more meetings, spending time with friends, doing some things that I don't want to do, sometime to get out of my comfort zone.
Even the ice plunge, the ice bath.
I don't want to get in that match.
You know what I'm saying?
That thing, it's uncomfortable.
But I need, you know, I don't know.
I'm finding, I don't know.
I'm just, it's working.
So I'm just sticking with what's working right now for me.
What else is happening?
What else has been going on?
I went to Jimmy John had his summer camp, the sandwich man, the sandwich mogul.
You know, he's a friend of mine, and he's been a guest here on this past weekend.
And he had his summer camp.
So I went out there and got to do some fishing with Emeril.
Emeril was out there, the chef, the famous chef.
And, you know, he likes to fish and I like to fish.
So we got out there, a couple of Louisiana guys, and that was beautiful.
Just to get to be on a, you know, fishing boat and ask him about desserts.
That's what I did mostly.
You know, I just, I mean, I just kept whispering little desserts by him, tearing me sue.
You know.
And I would just say stuff, you know, just like potatoes are grotten.
You know, I'll just kind of mumble little recipes under my breath And stuff and see if, and you'd see him sometimes, you know, you'd see him, he could pick up, or you know, he could, he could, if you throw out a low decibel recipe around that man, he'll hear it.
That's just where he's at.
But that was really beautiful, man.
That was exciting, just fun.
Caught some bass, and I think caught me a little amberjack.
And what else?
I'm trying to think of what else has been going on.
Not too much.
You know, I'm taking a break, a little break off of dating.
So I haven't been doing any dating.
Trying not to touch my junk, bro.
Trying to stay off that freaking skeet handle.
Yeah.
That's really about it.
I don't know if anything else.
Oh, I went to dinner over at Kid Rock's house.
That was amazing.
We had a nice time over there.
And he's got a spinning table in his living, in his dining room, and it's like it spins around.
So if you, you know, you can get, you know, you get up to go pee and you come back and you're damn, you don't know where you are.
You know, it's almost like double dutch.
You're just waiting for the chance to get back into your seat, to get back to your damn appetizer.
That bitch is eight, nine feet away now.
You know, half a Caesar salad, that bitch is damn 40 degrees away now.
Because the whole table, it all, the whole thing spins.
So you can all, you can just continually pass by this beautiful outlook over the mountains and stuff.
And it's, it's nice, man.
It was really, really, it was, it's just beautiful.
And they had scenic, the food was nice.
And yeah, it was just good, man.
You know, it was just interesting.
I never spent on something like that where the table, you know, it kind of is, you know, it's trying to get you dizzy almost like it's trying to fuck you.
You know, if, you know, if it's, you know, I don't know if it's trying to do that, but if you got dizzy enough and laid there, I bet it would I bet it would fucking touch your ass a little.
I bet.
I don't know.
I wasn't over there that long.
But yeah, just had a nice time there.
And I'd gone up to Jimmy John's summer camp up in Wisconsin and his family's all there and that was beautiful.
Caleb Presley was up there.
He's been a guest here.
So it was nice to get to see him and spend some time.
And yeah, just fished and ate and had some nice dreams at night.
And just staying alive.
That's it.
Just staying alive at the moment.
I'm trying to think of something else I wanted to share.
Oh, I got my hair.
I went and had a hair surgery a few weeks ago.
So I got a few more taken out the back and plugged into the front somewhere.
So because I was shedding.
I was shedding a little.
I had some hair loss.
So that's nice, you know, how I had to re-enlist them bitches in the front.
You know, we had to support our troops, baby.
So I'm glad to have a little bit extra, you know, we'll see.
Hopefully they put in something damn fucking beautiful up there.
Hopefully I get a damn cornrow up there or something.
Something beautiful to pop out.
You know, I take care of my mind and my brain by going to therapy and by being active.
Those are ways that I do.
And my therapist helps.
You know, I see a woman right now that's a therapist and a man, actually.
I got two therapists right now.
And you have to.
You got to take care of that brain.
You got to let it get things in and get things out with the help of someone else.
It's like your car.
You know, you got to clean under the seats.
You know, you got to get that gunk out.
Throw out that old banana.
And there are plenty ways to support a healthy brain.
And one of those is BetterHelp online therapy.
BetterHelp has helped me.
It's a way to have contact with a counselor, licensed professional therapist.
You can switch between different ones to get one that you like.
You can do it over FaceTime.
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If you feel uncomfortable about going into a building or going into a place, if you live in a small area and you think there might be judgment, it's online therapy.
That's what it is.
It's more affordable than in-person therapy.
And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.
If you need help, please do it and do it for yourself.
Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash T-H-E-O.
That's better H-E-L-P dot com slash Theo.
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And I want to thank, you know, the last touring, we did a tour through Florida, and some fella made me a real nice amulet from a wrist.
It's a real nice little amulet.
And then someone, a lady knitted me a rat king and a doll, a crocheted doll of me and a rat.
And if you're watching on YouTube, we'll have the picture in here right now so you can see it.
But man, it just, you know, I just felt so lucky.
I just, just the, just the support.
I just appreciate it.
And we put on some fire shows too.
Fire.
So that's kind of what's been going on with me.
You know, we took a week off of the show a few weeks ago.
Gonna take another one off in the future.
So just getting, you know, just feeling, taking it easy, taking care of myself, doing the fitness, doing the cold plunging, on my medicine.
You know, I'm saying I'm milligrammed up.
I'm back on medication.
So that's, I think it's okay.
You know, I'm not trying to be too crazy about it right now.
I went down that ayahuasca road and got out there and really was just, you know, just surfing on my own dick out there, you know, and sometimes it was definitely helpful and amazing.
But I feel like I'm happy with what's going on right now.
So I'm on, I think I'm on Lexapro.
I don't know.
Or the cheap one.
You know, that's where I'm at.
I take that cheap bitch, son.
The name you can't even pronounce.
You're like, ah, fuck it.
I'll take it.
I'll take that bitch, boy.
So that's what's kind of new in my life.
Not doing no love right now.
Not doing no sex.
And yeah, just trying not to touch my wiener or nothing.
And just hoping I bust at night.
That's what I'd like.
Like one of them bees, baby.
Just buzz, baby.
You know, just hoping I just lay there and just, you know, just hoping God touches me in my sleep.
Praise God, baby.
We got some beautiful calls and videos and everything that came in from you guys.
I want to get into some of that because I haven't heard from you in a while.
I know we had a few guest episodes in a row, but I was so excited to talk to Mike Perry.
And I was excited that Riffraff came through.
And so we had to get those into you.
And I'm glad that we did.
As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503.
Some great calls that came in from you.
So I want to hear some of those now.
Hi, Dio.
This is Alyssa in New Orleans.
I first wanted to say thank you.
Alyssa, thank you for the call in New Orleans, baby.
Nolin, baby, Nolins.
And yeah, I love New Orleans, you know.
I love spending time there as a child.
And my dad got stabbed over there by a brother one time with a screwdriver.
But we had, you know, we had a lot of nice times also.
And also, my dad had a buddy and he had one of his limbs.
He had a limited limb.
One of his limbs wasn't very long.
His leg.
One of his leg just didn't want to, you know, was just didn't want to fucking do it all.
And it was shorter than his other leg.
And he used to stand on this piece of concrete all the time.
He wouldn't leave it because he looked even on it.
And he looked real even on it.
And he'd stay over there and stand on that thing.
You know?
And that was beautiful.
Pretty beautiful to see that.
See a man just be in one place all the time, just evened out because he had that chunk of concrete under one of his limbs over there.
Beautiful shit.
Onward?
Sorry, I'm chatting.
What else you got there, Alyssa?
Thank you so much for all the work you do, and I really appreciate how transparent you are and how artistic you are.
Oh, that's sweet of you, Miss.
I appreciate it.
Onward.
So really quick question.
I just want to get your opinion about tall women.
That's what I'm saying out the gate.
Yum.
Onward.
I myself am 5'10, and my partner is 5'10, 5'11.
It doesn't bother me.
I mean, I used to have like an issue growing up, just like with my own posture and things like that.
I mean, I'm definitely more confident now.
I take care of my body.
I stand tall.
What have you?
But I don't know.
I just wanted to get your opinion.
Look, I'll tell you right now, I like a tall woman.
You know, I like a little portable woman too.
But a tall woman, well, I guess it's some men feel afraid of it.
You know, some men, I think, some men will marry tall women because they also want to marry a man.
And they consider him gay.
And if you're...
But they're afraid to either be gay or they are not gay.
And so they just get a tall woman.
They say, you know, maybe I would love to have a man, but I'm not doing it.
So I'm just going to get a tall woman, you know, and cut her hair short and put her in jerseys and stuff.
You'll see a lot of times you'll have a dude out there that seems kind of like, you know, Like he could, you know, be for men, and he'll have his wife there and have her in a damn Dennis Rodman jersey and with a damn fade on the side.
And you're like, dang, he really carved her up.
You know, he really carved her up.
So, uh, or what are you asking about?
Oh, I like a tall.
I like a tall bird.
You know, I like that lady.
Hell yeah.
That long, that long lady.
I like that.
Run and jump up into that bitch's arms.
You know what I'm saying?
I like a tall.
I like a nine feet tall.
Get that bitch way up there.
I can't even see her.
You know, I'm just puss level with her.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm just, that's what, you know, that'd be fine.
I like a long, you know, hang a damn bird feeder off her ear.
I like get her two earrings, damn bird feeders.
That bitch up there, babysitting warblers.
And I'm down here hanging out by them pockets, baby.
You know what I'm talking about?
So I think that, yeah, I like a long woman too.
Because sometime, also, if you go somewhere and you all need to meet up in a group, like at a concert or something, y'all can meet up.
Meet up at the tall lady.
Let's meet up at Belinda at 7 p.m.
Meet up at Tiffany.
I like that.
So yeah, I like a long woman.
I like a long leg sometime.
You know, they had a lady had one leg that came out to one of the shows, I think in Texas.
And she brought that bitch out and let me hold it.
Fucking awesome, man.
Almost damn teared up.
You know, every time I get a hold of a damn good orthotic, I fucking, I can feel the wells start filling up inside of me.
God.
Because we had a place by us, probably on the other side of these little woods, they had a little place they made orthotics over there, extra limbs.
And sometimes they wouldn't, you know, they didn't had some faulty ones or people had used them.
They had some refurbished and they couldn't get the knee right or whatever.
Or the fucking ankle only, you know, they had one of them had an outward ankle or something on it and they'd just toss them bitches.
So as children, we'd go get up, we'd go pick, you know, scavenge over there sometime, roll out of there with a couple of damn, you know, cruise out of there with an arm, cruise out of there with a couple feet, you know, half a little sack of phalanges, bro.
We'd, you know, just fun shit.
Halloween, you know, especially around Halloween, we try to get over there, see if he get anything.
And sometimes you get you a good rubber leg that somebody had had.
I remember one fella just kept, I guess he'd taken a pen and just kept writing his name into this rubber, kind of rubber leg, you know, just Ernie, Ernie, Ernie.
He written the dude, I guess, unless he was writing somebody else's name.
But he, you know, pretty cool.
Anyway, but yeah, I like a tall woman.
You guys are doing good, and I like seeing y'all out in the world.
You know, and we need all types of women.
So I'm glad you're out there, Alyssa.
Thank you for the call.
We got another question came in right here.
This is a caller.
Onward.
What's up, brother man?
This is John calling from Illinois.
What's up, John?
Up there in Illinois.
And I like Illinois, you know.
Used to pee in a guy's car up there.
And he was nice about it.
And I'm grateful for that, man.
I love that place.
And my mother grew up out there in Wyoming, Illinois.
And she used to really, you know, she used to enjoy her childhood up there.
And that state has a big place in my heart.
Onward.
I had a question for you, dude.
For one, I'm taking a Dookie right now.
I apologize for that.
Dang, Bubba.
But at least you're efficiency.
You know, you're doing efficiency, brother.
And I don't like it, but I respect it.
But so my dad had just recently passed, and he was an amputee and had a fake leg.
Bruh, I want to save that leg, take it to ball games and everything else, and shove beers out of it.
You think that's a good idea or what?
Look, I appreciate you calling, man.
And this is crazy.
We're just talking about this.
And so, you know, I have a little bit of experience with extra limb.
And I'm going to say this, man.
First of all, yeah, you got to do something with it.
You know, put it to use, man.
That thing, that damn, that tibby or whatever, that bitch got magic in it.
You know, it's the last piece of your father you have.
You know, maybe hanging in the garage.
And, you know, like some people hang a tennis ball so they know when to stop the car.
Hang that bitch right there.
Every time you, you know, the windshield or your Dodge Neon or whatever hits that thing, you're going to remember pops.
And you're going to stop the car.
Stop for pops.
It could be a little moniker.
You know, every time stop for pops, bam, hit that leg.
That's beautiful, bruh.
Or put that bitch in it.
Get some damn, light some candles around that bitch and ask it questions.
That bitch has got powers in it, bruh.
You out here chugging beers out of it like a fucking homeless kid, dude.
Are you out of your mind?
That's a piece of your damn father.
And you're doing business calls and shitting.
Come on, bruh.
I mean, you know, your dad lost his fucking leg.
So you could sit around and do shit calls?
I don't think so, baby.
I don't think so.
You know what that makes me want to do?
That makes me want to vape on this fucking plant.
Thank you.
That's what you get, boy.
Take care.
It's the last piece of your father.
You know how much I'd love to have a piece of my dad.
I'd love to have a damn earlobe of my father's or something.
You know, when you out here with a whole damn limb, bruh.
And you fucking sipping damn blue moons out that bitch or whatever.
Get your life together, bruh.
Get off the shitter and get out in the yard and fucking hit dingers with that bitch.
You know?
Drive down the street at night and hit people's mailboxes.
Give your dad a fucking life, bruh.
A fake leg never dies, man.
A fake leg never dies, bruh.
It's halfway between ghost and human, man.
And you got that bitch.
You know, sneak that bitch into the Olympics, dude.
Get a job running the torch and then surprise them.
Light that bitch at the top.
And run that, you know, run it to wherever.
Damn Iowa, you know, Cedar Rapids, run that bitch over there.
You know, let the kids have a sleepover and just hum that bitch into the tent in the middle of the night.
Fuck them up, bruh.
But do something, man.
Do something special.
But live a little, man.
That's what I tell you, to be real honest with you.
I'm sorry for getting angry at you.
But somebody has to tell you something, man.
Maybe that's why he left that, bruh.
So you could get a kick in the ass and get some motivation going.
Gang, baby.
Let's get into another call.
What else we got here?
Hey, this is Hunter from Kentucky.
Hunter from Kentucky.
That checks out.
Onward?
Called earlier and left a message.
I got kind of nervous, so I kind of cut it short.
Well, I appreciate you calling back, man.
Yeah, I know it can be kind of hard to just leave a message if it's something that means something to you, or even if it doesn't.
I know it's a lot for you guys to just put your voice in there.
And so I appreciate it.
And it's okay if you have to call back.
Thank you.
Onward?
I just got a question.
I struggle with a lot of anger and stuff like that.
And I kind of take it out on my wife and stuff sometimes.
I mean, I'm young and stuff like that.
It's only 20 years old.
And I just wonder if you got any advice about controlling anger or maybe controlling myself a little bit more to make my days go better.
And stuff like that.
I get mad.
I'm like, I got to go to work.
So it bothers me.
I don't know why.
But, man, I love you.
I love the podcast.
It's awesome, man.
Gang, baby.
Thank you for the call, bud.
I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, and I appreciate you calling about it.
You know, it's nice that you care enough.
You know, you care enough about your wife.
You're able to get a little oversight of yourself.
You know, you're able to see, okay, this anger isn't helping me.
You know, I was dealing with a lot of anger a few years ago, even eight months ago.
I just wanted everything to be a certain way, you know, and I couldn't control everything.
And so that left me angry.
I was like, this needs to be like this.
I couldn't control everything.
And that left me real, real angry.
I was having a tough time.
And some things that I've done for me is I've started a little bit of meditation.
You know, just 10 minutes, put my timer on.
You can look up some YouTube videos how to meditate.
And that helps give me a little more space before I'm going to get angry.
It gives me a little more space between me and the world.
Because the world is going to make me angry.
And if I'm right on top of the world, then whenever something happens, I'm right there.
But meditation starts to give you a little bit of space between the world and you.
It just gives you a little bit of space.
I find that that helps.
I find that asking God to help, you know, God, I find myself being really angry, you know, and it affects me and it affects my loved ones and I don't like it, you know, and God, can you help me to figure out what's going on?
And if you believe in God or not, it can be the universe.
It can be a higher power.
But putting it out there like that, it kind of makes you feel not so alone about it.
And you'll start to get some feedback from the world, from God, from whatever you believe.
You'll start to get some feedback from it.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what was really, you know, and this would be a good one if people have some suggestions for Hunter about how to handle this anger.
And I guess I can't really tell if it's about your wife or you're just saying that it comes out towards her.
But one thing I've also noticed for myself is even going back to just doing fitness and stuff, that's been helping me a lot.
You know, it's been helping me get out of myself.
It just gets a lot of energy out of me.
And it makes me feel more in control.
A lot of times I feel anger when I'm not in control in some way.
And so anger just comes out.
Let me try and think about it for just a second.
You know, I didn't like being angry, man.
I'd find myself, I could, I was literally watching myself behave ways that I didn't want to be.
And a lot of it was because for me, it was control.
I wanted things to be a certain way they weren't that way, certain things, and I couldn't control it all.
And so for me, I started to have to get a higher power.
I had to get a higher power that helps me.
It's out of my control.
Oh, and thank God it is because I can't control everything.
And I was trying to.
And now it's like, hey, God, that's your job.
You do it.
You're doing it anyway.
I'm just pretending I am.
And it's causing me a lot of frustration.
So those are some things that helped me.
But I'd love some suggestions, actually, for Hunter.
And we can put those at the end of an upcoming solo episode.
Just hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
But thank you, man.
I'm going to play that part again where you talked about what was going on so people can know how to respond.
I struggle with a lot of anger and stuff like that.
And I kind of take it out on my wife and stuff sometimes.
I mean, I'm young and stuff like that, only 20 years old.
And I just wonder if you got any advice about controlling anger, controlling myself a little bit more to make my days go better.
And stuff like that.
I get mad and I got to go to work.
So it bothers me.
I don't know why.
Gang, baby.
Oh, another thing that I do, I started doing is when I get up in the morning, you know, and I'm kind of lucky, I think, because I have some time right now to do this.
But I'll do a small prayer.
I'll do a meditation.
And then one of the first things I do is I'll check in with other people.
I start checking in with other people.
You know, I'll call different friends.
I'll just check in what's going on with you.
What's going on with you?
So then I'm not thinking about myself.
I'm thinking about them.
And that takes some pressure off of me, I notice.
There's also, you know, you could do a 12-step program.
There's like, you may have anger and resentments in your life that you don't really know about.
You know, there's all types of, there's Al-Anon, there's CODA, there's ACOA, adult children of alcoholics.
I'm not saying that any of that is part of your life.
I'm just trying to think of, you could even just go do one of those programs and it would help you solve some of these things.
You know, if you did a 12-step program, there may even be one for anger specifically.
And you can go to Zoom and you listen to other people talk and one of them is going to say something that's really going to help you.
But, you know, having gratitude, writing gratitude lists.
You know, it's hard to be angry and grateful at the same time.
Oh, and I just, I got this grateful shirt on today.
This is from our boy Dustin Poirier from his shirt.
You can, he has these shirts.
And anyway, man, I'm sorry you're dealing with that, but I'm glad you're at a young age, bro.
If you're looking at yourself to see what's going on with you, and it's awesome that you care about your wife and, you know, you want to figure some of this out and you recognize that it's hurting you, that it's hurting your world.
You know, that's powerful, man.
So right there, that's really, you know, you should feel good about yourself for that.
I think that's really special.
You know, I was angry for a long time.
I had a lot of anger and resentment towards my past and family and stuff like that.
And I'm still working through that stuff.
And I'm hopeful about it.
But we'll try to get some suggestions from people and throw those on at the end of the next episode.
But keep your head up, baby gang.
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How safe is this?
People were like, you should use incognito mode.
Well, that's fine, but incognito mode does not hide your activity.
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All right, let's see.
Oh, we got a call that came in right here.
This is an update from someone.
Oh, hey, Theo, this is Jordan.
Calls me from Mandeville, Louisiana.
What's up, Jordan?
Over there in Mandeville, baby.
And my God, I spent a lot of good time over there.
And I remember the night that the Taco Bell opened up and people were damn fired up.
People were fucking beating their stepchildren and drinking Dr. Pepper and just fucking, you know, and just, God, people were excited.
And me and my buddies got all high.
You know, we was high on something.
You know, probably Whippets and weed, maybe the W's.
We were making it through the alphabet that year and we got pretty far.
And we got all baked out and was headed to the Taco Bell like everybody was.
The whole fucking town was over there.
Probably had 200 people at that bitch.
And I pulled up and got out the van and my damn stepparents were right there, bruh.
Damn, dude.
And I couldn't even barely see out of my eyes.
I was just so just cooked out, bro.
I mean, just like the devil had just been damn grilling burgers up in my fucking sight balls, baby.
I was just gassed up.
And I don't know what, dude, I don't know what I said to them, but it wasn't probably very good.
But let's hear more, brother Onward.
Shout out.
I was listening to the Riff Rath episode just now.
I heard you mention Tiffany Lane's, where he got that first little bit of pussy heat on you.
Yeah, brother, I lost my virginity over there behind Tiffany Lanes over there on Highway 190.
Beautiful little establishment.
If you like bowling or if you like eating bad popcorn and seeing people be depressed about their families and loved ones.
Homeward.
Oh, and the carpet was always wet in that bitch, bruh.
Dude, every fucking step was damp up in there.
Just like the damn carpet just had that, you know.
Like it, I mean, just like it had dang, I don't know what was in it.
I think they didn't have any sub-flooring.
They might not have had any flooring.
It might have been carpet straight on damn swampland, bruh.
Because there was, I mean, shit.
It was damp.
Tiffany Lanes is now closed down.
So, maybe a little sad to hear that great memory, but I know exactly the place you're talking about.
And unfortunately, with the pandemic, they closed it down.
So, anyway, love the show.
Thank you, brother.
Thanks for that update.
Dang.
You know, things change, and I have a tough time dealing with that.
I can't believe they closed it down.
We need to go put a cross-up or something behind there where I caught that first 7-10 split, baby, where I picked up that spare, baby.
You know what I'm talking about.
Getting cooter, baby.
You heard me.
But thank you, brother.
Thanks for sharing that.
Everything changes, bro.
Everything turns into a fucking lens crafters or something, you know?
Shit just hurts a little.
Or a damn QS diagnostics.
Dang it.
What else?
I know we're kind of call heavy here, but I want to hear what's going on with you.
What else can we get into?
Yeah, I'm sorry if this is call heavy.
I'm not sorry about it.
But yeah, it's just been a few weeks since we've had a solo episode, you know, and some of that's been because I'm just so, you know, since I hadn't really been feeling like myself, you guys know that.
And the hard part sometimes with podcasting is putting yourself out there when you don't feel great.
You know, you want to put at least the most, not the most comfortable you out there, but you want to at least be able to, you know, get through the episodes without feeling a lot of stress.
And, you know, for a long time, that was hard for me.
I mean, for two years, it was tough.
And I'm not crying about it.
But I've been feeling better, but I'll just trying to, you know, just trying to take it easy.
And yeah, and I miss the solo episodes because I miss, I feel like this is where I get to connect with people and hear what's going on.
So maybe we're a little call heavy today.
And that's just how we're going to be.
I'm excited.
I'm going down to Austin for the coming week.
So I'm looking forward to that.
What else is going on in my life?
My sister, we just got her into a New house.
And, you know, that makes me so happy.
You know, she has two little girls.
And just to know that, you know, they'd had a tree fell in her trailer, and that bitch has been in there for eight months.
And not my sister, that tree.
I mean, they're both bitches, but, you know, they were both in there.
But just knowing that her and her girls have a roof over their head, you know, and a washer-dryer and just, you know, man, that makes me feel good.
My brother moved out to Utah recently.
And so I've been thinking a lot about him and what his life is like.
And, you know, just what it's like to be in a new place and the challenges he probably feels and stuff like that.
You know, we had another family member we tried an intervention on recently and that was just our choice.
And so I've been thinking a lot about them.
And what else has been happening with me?
Oh, I'm going to do a friend of mine asked me to be in his movie.
So I'm going to do that next month.
It's about a sober living, and it should be exciting.
So it's not a huge time commitment, and it's like a new thing.
I didn't want to do it, but I'm trying to do contrary actions and do things I don't want to do.
Because sometimes I get so set in my comfort zone, like, oh, you know, I'm doing this, I'm doing that.
And my life just going a certain way.
And I want my life to be different, but I keep doing the same things.
And so I'm like, if I want to have different feelings and stuff and different experiences, I have to do them.
And sometimes I don't like doing new stuff.
I don't really want to try it.
You know, sometimes that stuff scares me.
You know, I like to be in control.
I like to know the outcome of things.
I like to, you know, somebody will invite me to a movie and they'll technically want to go see me.
I'm like, what's it going to be like?
I'll text stuff back like that.
What the fuck is it going to be like a fucking movie?
And I'll be like, well, who's going to be there?
And they're like, well, who the fuck?
It's fucking dark.
It's dark in there.
And people's fucking hiding and eating damn jujubies, dog.
Who gives a shit?
But it's like, I want to know everything.
I find that a lot for myself.
I've always, I want to know how everything's going to go so I can be okay.
Because if I know how everything's, you know, there's not going to be any real surprise.
Then I can do, you know, I'm in control.
It gives me some sense of control.
But what it takes away from me, it takes possibility.
And you can't really have a lot of fun if you don't have a lot of possibility.
You know, that's where fun happens.
That's where something new happens.
It's, you know.
And I think I used to be more relaxed and more open about that.
But when my life got real busy, I got real scared.
You know, and I just, I was like, I just, I don't know.
I got real scared and I didn't know how to con, and the only thing I knew how to do was I just, I need to tighten down on control.
I got to control everything.
Anyway, I don't even know what I was talking about.
But yeah, that's just been what's been going on with me.
So I've been trying to be braver and try new things and do things that could be different.
And the funny thing is, once I even agreed to do my buddy's project, I felt suddenly more excited.
It started to turn from fear and like, what's it going to be like?
And to like hopefulness, like, oh, this could be fun.
I'm going to get to meet some new folks.
I'm going to get to be around some fun people.
Bobby Lee's going to be on there.
So I'm going to get to be around him.
You know, it's like things like that.
What else?
Oh, I've been writing a movie script.
Me and David Spade wrote a movie script together.
So that's probably a dream come true.
Even if it never even gets made, man, we worked hard.
You know, we worked hard.
And my buddy Adam E get on there helping out and we worked really hard.
And I don't know.
So that's just stuff that's been going on with me, I guess.
I'm not trying to brag, but I'm trying to share things that are making me feel excited.
And yeah, that's what's going on.
Let's get into another call here.
This was a video call, too.
We get to see this person.
This will be neat.
Theo, what it do, bro.
My name is Kate.
I'm from Louisiana.
I've always appreciated the homage that you give to the place that you came from, the homage that you always give to Louisiana.
I think it's really important that we remember where we come from so we know where we're going.
That's something that was instilled in me as a young kid, and I carry it to this day.
And I'll hand it down to those who come after me someday.
Amen.
Yeah, thank you for calling.
You sound like you got a little bit of that Ville plaid in you, baby.
Stuck in your throat there, Donna.
You got a little bit of Booyah base in you.
You know, you got that rema lot over there in your windpipe, baby.
You know what I'm talking about?
You sound like you're from Lafayette area.
I'm guessing, Boo onward.
And in that same vein, my question to you, Theo, is: Do you feel a connection to your ancestors?
And if you do, how does that connection show for you in your life?
How do your ancestors manifest in you, Theo Vaughan, in the year 2022?
Well, that's really, that's interesting.
You know, you know, my father was a dang ancestor.
I mean, he was born in 1910.
And, you know, he passed away when I was 16. And my folks separated when I was seven.
And so sometimes I still feel my father around.
Sometimes I'll feel my heartbeat.
And sometimes I'll even put those ear listeners on.
I got a stethoscope, I think it's called.
I don't know what it is.
From a doctor's office.
And I'll listen to my heart.
Because it's really, that's my father's beat.
That's my grandfather's beat.
Like, like a heartbeat is like, you know, your parents made that.
It's from their heartbeats, made your heartbeat.
So it's really crazy that like this sound of this heartbeat started way back when.
And it's, it's still, you know, it's in me.
This is, this isn't my sound.
It's my heart.
But this was created, this sound has kept going.
It's been remixed by people doing sex and making a new person.
But this heartbeat, this is, I mean, this is my fucking, you know, this is the same fucking beat that went through my father and my grandfather and on up.
I had a tough time with my own family growing up and we were not very close.
And there wasn't a ton of education about the grandparents and the family history.
There wasn't a ton of it.
And I think that some of that, you know, I always wanted to be different.
I wanted to do my own thing.
So I think as I get over more of that, like resentment, I notice my own family connections growing stronger these days that I hope to have a greater knowledge of and not only a knowledge of,
but a care for and a care to explore where I'm from and what's inside of me, what I'm made up of.
Um...
But yeah, I think there's sometimes, you know, sometimes I'll see a little rabbit go by or something and I'll feel a little, that Native American kind of tingle in me, you know?
But yeah, I mean, I feel a connection to Louisiana.
I feel a connection to Covington where I'm from and that just the, you know, I realize that I love to tell the stories about my youth and stories are important because that's how we learn a lot of things.
You know, that's how you instill a lot of like the past into people.
So yeah, it's interesting.
I don't, I feel a connection, but I would like to have more.
You know, I would like to have more.
But for now, I think I'm just working on the gratitude that I didn't get here alone.
You know, that I didn't do or create me by myself.
You know, I think I've had resentments in some of that space.
And so I gotta, I'm still working through some of that stuff.
And that's okay, you know, but I think that's an interesting question.
And I think it's important.
You know, I think it is really important because if you tell your kid who his grandfather, and you introduce, this is who he is.
And this is what he did.
And this is who your great grandfather was.
And this is your great grandmother.
And this is what she did.
You know, that's, because then they have a history.
They have a meaning.
There's a purpose.
Oh, I'm a part of a chain.
I'm part of something.
You know?
I think that that stuff used to be huge, probably like in a lot of native cultures.
And in other societies, it might be really big.
And in some other families.
In our family, it was not.
There was not a lot of sharing stories of the past, you know.
And I think my father had some.
I mean, he grew up in a village.
You know, he said that there were people eating dirt in his village, that people starved.
But we were kind of ships passing in the night in our ages and our ability to connect.
So, yeah, I don't know.
That's a really interesting question, though.
But I do think it's important because then a kid doesn't feel like he's just here.
You know, if he knows where he's from, if he knows his lineage, if he knows who was before him and what they believed and what they were.
I think that's really valuable stuff.
I don't have a lot of that stuff in me, but I hope to gain more and I hope to, if I have a family of my own, to have more information to pass on.
You know, I think I really hope that.
So thank you for that call.
All right.
I want to, yeah, I want to thank you guys.
We got one more call in a hit, but I want to just want to thank you guys just for tuning in and for being a part of my life and letting me be a part of your lives.
You know, that's cool.
I think it's cool.
And yeah, I just want to let you know that.
That, yeah, it means something to me.
And, you know, one thing that I have that I think about a lot is that this show and this group is important to me.
And, yeah, I just, I don't know.
I want to be able to make the most out of it.
And that's always a goal of mine.
And that's something that even comes back to me more the better I feel.
You know, it's like, man, if I'm feeling good, then I can really be a part of this.
And that's nice, man.
So that's been a real blessing.
Let's check this one more.
We had one more little deal he came in from a young lady right here.
So I can't help but die laughing every time he busts out with the I'm upstairs.
I'm upstairs.
You know that, boo-boo.
I grew up in a two-story house, and that was a totally valid excuse to not have to do something.
You just yell, I'm upstairs.
So I started telling my seven-year-old this.
We don't have any stairs in our house, but every time he wants me to do something and I don't feel like doing it for him, I started yelling, I'm upstairs.
So now, this is what we do.
Hey, Jacoby!
What?
Can you bring me my water bottle?
No, I'm upstairs.
Jacoby, please bring me my water bottle.
I'm upstairs.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, you are, Jacoby.
Dang, huh?
Jacoby, and you know, Boo Boo got with a freaking, she got with a brother, baby.
If you got a Jacoby running around, that's beautiful.
Boo, gang.
I love it.
I'm upstairs.
Best excuse in the book.
No stairs, basement only, no problem.
I'm upstairs.
I love it.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for that call.
And I hope Jacoby's doing well.
You give him a hug from us.
And look, that's where I'm going to try to stay.
I'm going to try to stay upstairs, man.
That's all we're doing here.
We're just trying to stay upstairs, aren't we?
I think that's it.
You know, things are going to get risky.
You know, things are just trying to stay above it, you know, or beside it or just, you know, just trying not to get stuck in the sludge and try to take care of ourselves and take care of one another, too.
I think that's good.
But you guys, be good to yourselves out there, huh?
I know you can.
I know it's not easy.
But yeah, take care of yourself.
It's important.
You know, we've created this society that there feels like so much pressure.
You know, it feels like we don't even exist sometimes anymore.
But I don't know if that's real or if that's just a side effect of something we've created.
I think the truth is that we are important and that we do matter and that there is purpose to us.
I think we just got to refind our footing a little.
You know, and I don't know exactly how we do that, but I know that we can.
And I know that we will.
And in the meantime, just take it easy.
You know, and be good to yourself.
I know you can.
And if you need me, I'll be upstairs.
And if you're not up there, then come up.
Music.
Jacoby, get my water bottle.
I'm on a coma.
Yeah.
Feels real good out there.
I've been so blue.
He's on a coma.
I'm on a coma.
It feels so good to have a brand new view.
He's on a coma.
Well, I just broke up with my baby.
And now I can finally get the love on you.
Yeah, yeah, coma.
Well, I just moved up to Lucky Street when the mayor came and said to me, You're on a coma.
You're on a coma.
And it's plain to see between you and me.
We got so much loving and chemistry.
It's about a coma.
Y'all be good, baby.
Yeah.
Well, good things keep on coming.
And there ain't gonna be no running.
No, I'm on the comer.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I just got high Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Aye, Suiar.
Easy deal.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Jermaine.
Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
Oh, no!
*BEEP*
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
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