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June 15, 2022 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:19:35

E397 Parker McCollum

Parker McCollum is an award winning singer-songwriter who was named “New Male Artist of the Year” by the Academy of Country Music. His latest album “Gold Chain Cowboy” is out now on MCA Nashville. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com Podcastville mugs and prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com ------------------------------------------------- Support our Sponsors: ShipStation: Go to https://shipstation.com for a 60 day free trial with code THEO Truebill: Go to https://truebill.com/theo to start canceling today BetterHelp: Go to https://betterhelp.com/THEO to get 10% off your first month Keeps: Go to https://keeps.com/theo to get your first month of treatment free Mint Mobile: Go to https://mintmobile.com/theo and cut your wireless bill to $15 ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Riley https://www.instagram.com/rileymaufilms/ Producer: Jeremy https://www.instagram.com/guyboybabyboolove/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	I want to let you guys know that next week I'll be touring there, doing Florida, Hollywood, Florida, June 23rd, Fort Myers, June 24th, Daytona Beach, June 25th, and Lakeland, Florida, June 26th.
	Tickets on sale now at theova.com slash tour.
	And thank you guys for your support.
	Today's, it's hot as hey.
	It's hot as heck in here.
	I don't know why.
	It is just, it's hot outside.
	And the ACs or something.
	You know, coils or whatever.
	Yeah, I mean, it's like somebody just damn put a bunch of heat in here.
	Like somebody just damn backed a damn truck of sunlight up into this bitch.
	Today's guest, fortunately, he rolls with the punches.
	Because dang, boy.
	Because we in here.
	I'm grateful to have him.
	He has hit singles in country music.
	He's a music man.
	And he has hit singles Pretty Heart and To Be Loved by You.
	I think if you like this podcast, I believe you'll like some of his tunes.
	Yeah, I'm grateful that he's here.
	He was just voted Best New Male, Country Male.
	And that's, I mean, that's, you know, that's unbelievable.
	So he is extremely talented.
	He's out of Texas.
	And yeah, I don't know why I'm rambling.
	But I needed him to be here today.
	And so I'm very grateful.
	Enjoy the episode with Mr. Parker McCollum.
	I set that parking brake and left myself on wine.
	Shine that light on me.
	I'll sit and tell you my stories.
	Shine on me.
	And I will find a song I've been singing just before.
	I'll see you next time.
	It's time to sweat.
	I know, dude.
	It's time to sweat.
	It's sweaty in here today, isn't it?
	It is sweaty.
	Do you feel like it's sweaty in here?
	Not yet.
	I don't really sweat a whole lot, man.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Oh, dang.
	Do you think you might have a...
	No, not at all.
	Oh, really?
	From like the sprawling metropolis of North Houston.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, man.
	I mean, I grew up, you know, out in the country, but very, very close to a lot of shit.
	Okay.
	Very humid, very hot.
	Is it?
	I think I'm just immune to it.
	Dang, yeah, you might be, man.
	Built up an immunity.
	Because you grew up out in...
	No, no, I grew up in Southeast Texas, just north of Houston.
	And then I lived in Austin.
	10 days after I graduated high school, I moved to Austin, and I was like, I'm going to be a fucking country singer.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Sorry, man.
	I got in late last night.
	That's good, though.
	Did you have a good time?
	No, man, I did not.
	Well, I mean, I don't know if I did or not.
	Parker McCollum, ladies and gentlemen.
	Thanks for being here, man.
	Man, thanks for having me.
	I appreciate it.
	Yeah, it's nice to get to meet you.
	Yeah, we had to go do an intervention on a family member yesterday, so it was like, damn, you know?
	You know who Shane Gillis is?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Have you seen his Live in Austin stand up?
	Is that his special?
	Yeah, where he talks about taking his sister that was doing heroin to her intervention.
	They took her to six flags.
	I haven't seen that part.
	Uh-uh.
	It's rich gold, dude.
	Then that's what we should have done.
	Yeah.
	Because we took her, yeah, we just wanted one flag.
	It was like the flag of surrender and she didn't, and you know, and we didn't see it.
	So it was just a long day, man.
	You had a better day than me.
	You played Nissan Stadium yesterday.
	I did, yeah, last night.
	That was good.
	That was crazy, man.
	Yeah, it was good, dude.
	It was, my mom was there, so I think that's kind of cool, you know.
	So I probably didn't look like the most promising prospect 10 years ago to play country music successfully.
	So I think that probably helps her sleep a little bit at night to see it going well like that.
	Oh, really?
	Do you think that, so 10 years ago, you think she didn't have probably as much confidence in you?
	No, I mean, I just, I don't think I was, you know, if you look at it from like a scout evaluating a ballpark, you'd say, all right, he's never going to make it.
	You know, and then he makes it to the league.
	Did it feel like that last night coming out there, like that I'm making it to the league?
	I mean, that must have felt like something unique.
	I mean, not many people get to play a stadium, no matter how well they're doing.
	Man, it was cool.
	I was so tired and so hungry that I was really excited to get done with it and go home.
	Yeah.
	But it was dope, certainly.
	A lot of people.
	Was it the kind of the thing where am I on dang drugs?
	Yeah, but it's kind of shining.
	It looks good.
	The lights are good.
	It's bouncing.
	It's good.
	Come get it.
	Yeah, if there's anybody out there with dry skin.
	Cold Spice commercial coming in.
	Come give me a hug, honey.
	I will definitely moisten you up.
	Yeah, did it feel like, so you're walking out in front of that many people?
	Can you feel, does your body start to not, because I mean, I have feelings I'll walk out in front of a few thousand and there's moments where like I think especially the first time where it's like, okay, are my legs still moving forward?
	Like it's almost you disconnect a little bit from yourself.
	Man, that's only happened to me one time when we played the Houston Rodeo at the beginning of this year.
	It's like the only time that I was like gummy worm legs out there.
	You know, I'd had like, I tried to have like a couple cocktails take the edge off.
	71,000 people sold out.
	The Houston, Texans Stadium.
	We were headlining and the stage is rotating and I was the whole like 60-minute show.
	I'm out there and I was just, it was just like a mess, dude.
	Like I ate shit on stage.
	I've never fallen on stage.
	Really?
	I fell.
	It was great.
	Oh, you were.
	Yeah, dude.
	It was the full, the full experience.
	And when you were saying, do you feel like as you were saying that you also like had control over what you were saying?
	Because I would, I'm trying to wonder if, because physically I can understand, maybe it's like, oh man.
	It's overwhelming.
	Right.
	It's like, usually if I'm nervous, like one or two songs in, you're back to, it's probably the same thing with doing stand-up.
	Like, you know, even if you are nervous, like once you get into your jokes, you're rolling, right?
	You've done it a thousand times.
	But that was like the one night that I was like, the whole entire show, I was just like googly-eyed up there.
	Like could not gather myself.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	So last night when I walked out there, I was just, I just, I don't know, you're kind of just normal.
	You've done it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Dang it.
	Isn't it kind of interesting how things that would seem like a dream start to feel kind of normal?
	Yeah.
	Well, that like kind of messes with me with crowds, man.
	When we go somewhere, we'll only sell like three or four thousand tickets, which is a lot of people.
	That's a lot.
	That used to be like huge for us.
	And now when we only sell three or four thousand, I'm like, have we peaked?
	Is it over?
	And then the next night we'll sell 10,000.
	But it's like, it's that perspective thing, man.
	It's crazy what you can get used to.
	Yeah.
	Very quickly.
	Yeah, how quick it happens.
	That's really what's wild.
	So you started out, I know you started out over there in Texas, man.
	And tell me a little bit about like, do you remember like the first song or anything you ever heard?
	Do you remember anything like that?
	Yeah, the first song I ever fell in love with was Amarillo by Morning by George Strowe.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Which was a good one.
	Yeah.
	I didn't even know what Amarillo was, man.
	I remember singing.
	I just played there on Saturday night.
	Wow.
	I called it their national anthem on stage, and I got a real good reaction.
	They liked that a lot.
	Yeah, I remember hearing, I'm trying to think of the first.
	Oh, I heard Bon Jovi was the first song that I ever heard.
	They were going to be a big deal.
	Yeah.
	The first time I remember hearing a song, Bon Jovi, and I was with like a babysitter.
	I've told the story before, but I was with a babysitter.
	And so I think like there was also like a woman there.
	My mom wasn't there.
	Was she hot?
	Yeah.
	I mean, she was, yeah.
	I feel like all babysitters are hot when you're the baby they're sitting.
	Dude, yeah.
	You know?
	Oh, I was like, dang, yeah, I wanted her to sit close.
	Kendra Scott actually used to be my babysitter.
	Really?
	Yeah, true story.
	Kendra Scott, who is it?
	Bring her up, Trevin.
	She was dating my uncle back in the day.
	Kendra Scott?
	She's like the big jewelry maker.
	All the girls wear all her stuff.
	Let's get an image of her.
	And that used to be your babysitter, huh?
	Yeah, she used to watch me when I was a little kid.
	And now she's like a billionaire.
	Oh, she is.
	Dang.
	She's done very well.
	And do you have any recollections of the babysitting going on?
	No, dude, I don't remember it at all.
	I would not have known had my mom not told me.
	She's like, oh, yeah, she used to date your uncle, and she used to watch you guys.
	Dang, and your uncle must have really, what happened with him?
	He couldn't hang on, huh?
	Dude, I think, I don't know.
	I never really heard the full story, but he, it's my Uncle Chris, my dad's little brother, and he was just like a future Hall of Famer in the game of life.
	Was he?
	True OG.
	Oh, is he?
	And it has not surprised me that he was pulling that back in the day.
	Wow.
	He's a real aficionado when it comes to the gals?
	There is no question.
	Dang.
	Like I said, I didn't get that part of that gene in the family.
	You didn't?
	No, I don't think so.
	Dude, I'm sure you, I mean, I feel like you kind of look like, I mean, you look like you play, like you would play center on like, uh, on Justin Bieber's like fan on fantasy basketball team.
	I feel like.
	I feel like if you had a fan league basketball team, you'd play center.
	I think you seem like you're doing fine.
	I would love to play center on Justin Bieber's family basketball team.
	I may have missed my calling.
	But you're locked down.
	I know you recently got engaged.
	Or you recently got married.
	Yeah, yeah, I got married.
	Like two months in.
	Was it a...
	Does it feel different being married?
	Does it feel...
	So it's no different at all.
	Dang.
	Other than now when I come off stage, I just get on my bus and go to bed.
	Yeah.
	So that's about the only thing that's changed.
	Yeah.
	So take me out of then.
	So take me where you start music.
	You start the first song you hear or that you remember hearing is George Straight America by Morning.
	That's the first song you remember hearing?
	Yeah, the first one I can remember being like, I like that.
	That sounds good.
	I want to do that.
	And I was probably like, I don't know, seven, maybe six years old, something like that.
	But my older brother, Tyler, he's like phenomenal songwriter.
	He was the one that when I was a kid, you know, he's Big Brother.
	I just wanted to do whatever, like he could have been fucking ice skating.
	And I would probably be a professional ice skater right now.
	Like whatever Big Brother was doing is what I wanted to do.
	But he happened to play guitar and want to write songs.
	And I was like, all right, I'm going to do that.
	So that's, do you have no doubt that that's kind of where your passion for it came from?
	No question.
	And I just, I don't know.
	I remember being like a little kid and I would hear that song or any song and I would sing it all the time.
	But I don't think anybody ever thought that I would sing it for or be singing 20 years later.
	And at what point did it start to turn into kind of a job for you?
	How did it evolve then into a hobby?
	Did somebody get you an instrument?
	Did you like, were you like dialed in at school and music?
	No, I wasn't.
	I was sweating so bad.
	Dude, I just went for a run.
	I just went for a run.
	The lights look so good on the sweat, dude.
	I would just own it.
	I'm owning it, but I just want to.
	I think it's sharp, dude.
	I think it's kind of setting the vibe, setting the time.
	There's no question with the time of year that we did this interview.
	Yeah.
	There's no doubt about that.
	Yeah.
	It's fucking summertime the good thing is summer's almost over though so not a whole lot of heat left you know only about four months well at least two months of her sitting right over here on my forehead that's for sure baby dang i feel lit up man it feels wet i feel like the lord is just god washing me with his tongue um so i'm trying dude i am so sleeky i can't even like i feel like getting my thoughts together dog dude that's good man i i i'm i don't that's what i feel like you make me feel better i was debating hitting the pin before i came
	were you really yeah damn but it's kind of hit or miss yeah because sometimes you hit the pen and like you're real funny and you're witty and and it goes well and the other times you hit the pen and you're like i mean just worthless as could ever be yeah so i was like man i think i'll just no pin this morning yeah i think that's probably a good chill i mean it's yeah i think that's that risk because you can't tell exactly how much you're gonna get yes you know and it's my driver shout out flex always gives me these pens he always like sneaks them you know when
	i'm getting out i'll like give him a hundred dollar bill and he handed me the little he's like the pens nowadays look like they come from target anything in the candy section yeah and he'll hand me one and sometimes they're i mean it's like you know do a crack or something i mean you hit it and you're like what is weed nowadays man back when i was in high school like it was dirty and had seeds and stems you know and nowadays it's like like you may end up literally like dead it's so powerful oh i feel yeah some of the stuff man i remember hitting something one time
	and i felt like they were just like somebody had done construction in my head yeah you know does it make you think a lot well that's a good word like it made me think i didn't want to hit it because i would come in here and i would look you dead in the eye and you'll be talking yeah and then you get done talking and i'll have to go theo what did you just say because i'm out there thinking about the fact that we're on a rock floating around a ball of fire in the void you know instead of having the conversation that i'm a part of and so
	i was like we'll just we'll hit it after we'll hit it on the way home we go on the way home i feel like it gives my mind a vacation sometimes if when i used to smoke weed it would give my mind a vacation but sometimes i would get too paranoid and then one of the first times i ever got high was at this girl's house and everybody had left we all smoked weed and everybody else left the room and then uh i remember her dad i kind of like her dad had been like sitting there watching me be stoned like i was just like laying on the couch being stoned
	and it scared me so bad i thought i had been in this room for like 15 minutes by myself i was like talking out loud and kind of like saying positive things to myself and shit and then i look over and her dad who is one of our teachers at our school was fucking standing there dude oh no and man i think at that point it made me feel so in like kind of introverted about when i was stoned you know and then i used to get um when i was young me
	and my buddy would uh we ate a bunch of no-do's one time we were supposed to go pick these girls up no do's yeah it was like caffeine pills you know and this before we could get any weed you know this is like we're just like what can we do at the convenience store to make us feel different than we do right now yeah 100 baby so uh yeah i took we took a pack man and um or we took we split a pack or something and we were supposed to pick these girls up for this date and we parked like by the street and
	we were so hot we just i don't know we could feel our hair growing and shit and and we literally we couldn't we couldn't move and get out of the vehicle so we just looked over at these we we could see them on the porch waiting for us and and we just sat we just sat in that car for a long time it's it's a like it's it's a hit or miss thing man sometimes i hit it and i'm like you know i've written some of the some of my biggest songs are you really yeah some of the biggest songs i've ever written are or
	right after coming off of a gun yeah you know it just makes me we think weird and then but it's so funny like i hit that pin all the time way too much and every single time i take a rip of it for 20 minutes i'm like i need to get my life together i'm a failure this isn't going well and then after 20 minutes i'm like damn i want to hit that pin again that was great you know but it's that the paranoid thing you're talking about it's like every time well that's interesting though because then why would our brains be like hey i want to hit it again yeah
	well it's because after the the paranoid goes away you're like oh this is great now remember like it's like wolf wall street when they take the qualudes yeah you know and like you have to get through the phase of like where they're moving like snails like you have to fucking food like you know that it's like once they get past that it's like pure euphoria yeah that's a good point man it's like a like a lesser example of that i'm trying to think i remember like yeah i i if i smoked weed like i remember if i was with
	a chick i felt like it made your girlfriend feel like a new girlfriend out there sure that was one thing that was great about it dude if you if your girlfriend doesn't it seemed like the same old girlfriend and you hit a little bit of weed bro yeah surprise you i remember one point sitting there having to guess my girlfriend's name bro yeah because i didn't know you know that's a lot of options too yeah hard to get it right you know and you can't ask her but i was looking around the house for clues and
	yeah reading old valentine you gotta take them to starbucks right and let them order a coffee and then they put their name on the cup and that's the old trick that's a great idea she wake up you don't know who she is you just take them to starbucks praise god baby that vinte for vanessa yeah that's it dude that's classic man i never tried that that's a great trick man we had a question come up with uh well i'm just this this today's just been a day bro uh i'm glad to be
	a small part of it yeah dude thanks for coming man i appreciate it i'm sorry you catch me on such a weird time i almost i was like should i even cancel yes i didn't want to cancel because i'm happy that you're here you know dude i'm like the king of canceling so had you canceled i'd have been like hell yeah let's do it another day i love canceling plans i don't think there's anything there's no better relief you know like when you have something.
	Yeah.
	You know, like last night, had you had a dinner you had to go through after everything that you went through yesterday, if you had something you had to go to, you would have been, the point comes like an hour before we're like, dude, I don't want to go.
	I just want to stay home.
	Yeah.
	And like the greatest relief in the world is when you make up your mind that you don't give a shit and you're canceling.
	Oh, yeah.
	Like after that, then you're just like, oh, we're not going.
	You know, but it's like when you're stressing about having to go and you decide to cancel, it's like, it's better than any drug in the world, dude.
	Damn, that is interesting.
	That is a real high canceling.
	No question.
	Especially if you have a good excuse.
	Especially if you do.
	Yeah.
	I had a great one.
	Yeah.
	I was like, dude, I've been in a, yeah, I've been.
	In an intervention, I would say that, yeah, that's a gravy one.
	Usually I'm like, hey, I'm tired.
	You know, and you just sound like a plus sea.
	Like, it's not.
	I don't ever have.
	My soul was tired.
	We're in there like pleading, you know, and they said it was like three hours.
	And it was, it was good, but it just, and then when you come up with an L and an intervention, you're like, damn, you want to get the squad together?
	How do we regroup?
	Who do we send in next time?
	Should we have done matching outfits?
	Like, how do we get this right?
	You know, do we need a baritone?
	Like, what do we need to pull off the solid intervention?
	And then had you had a dinner last night and you'd have been able to cancel or cancel this podcast today, you'd have been like, fuck.
	Yeah.
	I'm chilling.
	I got the whole day to just screw off now.
	Which are those are the best days?
	That's my weed pen, dude.
	Yeah.
	Right there.
	Canceling?
	Canceling stuff.
	Yeah, dude.
	It's a hidden gem among people who are very busy.
	Bro, that's a great, you should do it.
	Like, sometimes if one of your buddies is flipping out about something you have to do, take his phone and be like, hey, I'm not coming.
	We're not fucking going.
	Dude, I look forward to it all the time.
	And then, you know, like it's a blessing and a curse, right?
	It's good to be busy.
	Yeah.
	It means you got some shit going on.
	People are expecting you to be somewhere.
	It's a good thing.
	Right.
	But sometimes I'm just like, fuck, dude.
	I'm not going.
	Yeah.
	I don't even have an excuse.
	Yeah.
	I'm just not fucking going.
	Dang, I can't make it.
	Sorry about it.
	Sorry about it.
	It's my dad's birthday.
	It's my dad's birthday.
	I want to make that a license plate on a car on like a cool Corvette.
	Make it my dad's birthday.
	Just so you always be like, what does that mean?
	Oh, it's my dad's birthday.
	Sorry.
	Yeah.
	It's the greatest excuse.
	Dude, that is a great excuse, man.
	Wow.
	Thanks, bro.
	Yeah, now I feel much more relaxed, honestly.
	Yeah, because then the planes got delayed.
	And I'm like, how do I, I thought about just driving or just getting a driver.
	I was just like, what are we even doing?
	And I was in Baton Rouge.
	So it was just like, you know, just like, it was just a lot.
	And it was just like family, people had been crying.
	It was just like, Jesus, you know?
	Somebody, I thought I was going to get high because of the intervention.
	I'm like, damn, I'm going to need, I'm going to need to.
	What is the drug of choice in this intervention?
	I don't know.
	We didn't know what they were on.
	Oh, that makes it super, that's a way.
	That's a whole other ballgame.
	That's like a guessing intervention.
	It was a lot.
	That's like, yeah, it's almost like a lot of people.
	It's like if the members of the game Clue had to have an intervention on like Mr. Plum or something, they'd be like, I think she's doing heroin with a needle in the laboratory, you know?
	I think so.
	Yeah, I think she's doing opius with a curling iron.
	Curling in the trap house.
	In the trap house.
	Dude, you're saving my day today, man.
	Thank you, bro.
	Thank you for making me laugh, man.
	You have made me literally cry laughing, staring at my phone multiple times.
	So I'm glad I could return the favor.
	I appreciate it.
	Yeah, man.
	You really are.
	Yeah.
	You really, really are, man.
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	So yeah, I want to know a little bit.
	So like you kind Of have been picked as the guy, like you get these, they get these accolades in the business side of music, right?
	And you've had a lot of those, right?
	Like, this is the guy that you know, the pick to click, little things that rhyme, you know, like or whatever, you know what I'm saying?
	Like, the uh, the uh, you know, like the, I don't want to say like the key, I'm trying to think of a good one, like, you know, the next guy to shine.
	You know what I'm talking about.
	And a lot of them are great.
	Like, you know, from, I don't know if it was the Country Music Awards that gave you like the top new male artist in the year, right?
	That's what I'm saying.
	Right.
	And congratulations.
	Thanks, man.
	Yeah, it's amazing.
	What I'm trying to get to is how do you get to, like, is there then some type of formula?
	Is there, and what pressure comes with how to fulfill that?
	Because really, it's kind of like saying, hey, bro, here's a bunch of pressure.
	Yeah, no, man, no.
	Is that what it feels like?
	Maybe that's my interpretation.
	Not at all, dude.
	The awards are cool.
	You know, like I watched the award shows as a kid.
	So it's cool to be on them.
	You know, it's just kind of like, kind of like the stadium thing last night.
	You know, you're like, damn, I used to sit out there.
	Now it's kind of the same concept, which is really cool.
	But, man, and I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, but I just don't give a shit.
	Yeah.
	You know, I really don't.
	I just want to be as successful doing this with as much integrity and respect as I possibly can, trying to do it.
	I've done it the hard way, you know, like started from the very, very, very bottom in my pickup truck, got a van, got a trailer, got a nicer van, got a tour bus, then signed a record deal.
	Now we have like three tour buses, 18-wheeler, the whole deal.
	Did it the long hard way, how I wanted to do it.
	And so the awards are great, man.
	The number one song's great.
	Double platinum song, awesome.
	But it just doesn't, like, that's not what makes me feel successful.
	You know, it's, they're, they're like just little bonuses, I guess.
	But there's no really pressure.
	I mean, you know, whether you win that award or you don't, you still got to put out another record and you still got to go on the road next weekend.
	You know, so it's, they're great, but I don't know.
	If you're not doing it, if you're not relevant in like 20, I mean, you look like George Strait, dude.
	He's like, say, he just turned 70 and he's still selling out like US Bank Stadium.
	Yeah.
	You know, I'm 29. I just played a Send Amphitheater in Nashville.
	Yeah.
	I had a long fucking way to go, dude.
	So the awards are good, but very, hopefully the very, very beginning of the road.
	And what gets you to that next?
	Like, is there a thing?
	Is it more, you know, because I wonder, I don't know if it translates with comedy, but it's just like, is there some, I guess, is it a certain type of song that kind of, like, what do you feel like you have to have then to continue to keep a trajectory then, or even a continuation of?
	Man, I think it's the songs.
	And that's what I tell all, like, you know, it's weird now that there's like young guys asking me stuff because I was always the young guy asking the stuff.
	And now they got these younger kids asking me for advice and stuff.
	And I'm like, dude, if you don't have the songs, fucked.
	Yeah.
	Like you may have a good, you may have a big single on country radio.
	I mean, if you have songs, you can sell tickets.
	And that's how you tour and have a career, right?
	So that's like the biggest thing, man.
	You got to have, you got to have, you got to write and have the best songs.
	Like Garth Brooks.
	I mean, mega hits, George Strait, mega hits.
	Tim McGraw, any genre.
	Country music really probably has the most longevity of any genre, it seems like.
	Like rap and pop music, like you don't see a lot of 50-year-olds still killing a game and popping rap.
	Those people get murdered all the time.
	Yeah, a lot of dying.
	You know, it's like, yeah, it's not like every couple of weeks, you know, a young Tim McGraw gets gunned down somewhere.
	No.
	You know?
	Have you seen Tim McGraw lately?
	The bullet would show 1832.
	The bullet would probably bounce off if he jacked on.
	Dude, he's nasty ripped.
	Really?
	Yeah, dude.
	Go look at his Instagram.
	He's like 50. God.
	And would just piece me up.
	Bring him up there.
	Let me see that man.
	He is a seriously.
	God.
	I wish I was.
	Tim McGraw is his name.
	Tim McGraw, dude.
	OG.
	Also a future Hall of Famer in the game of life, probably.
	Oh, this guy?
	Yeah, I saw him in 1832.
	He's there was a good picture just before.
	But can you just go to his Instagram, brother?
	He's nasty rip, though, dude.
	Like, nobody's gunning him down, you know?
	Yeah.
	I feel like they could gun me down pretty easy.
	Really?
	Especially if I'd hit the pin already.
	Probably easy target, moving slow.
	If you get off stage, here he is right here, dude.
	Yeah.
	I use it on the road quite a bit, too.
	Spelling the bar complex and I've had all into it.
	And it's a combination of 10 or 12 exercises for the purposes of time.
	And so many people out there work maybe six and we have to be traveling.
	We'll do our.
	I mean, he's making a million dollars on stage that night.
	And he's out there working out at 11 a.m.
	Oh, wow.
	He's doing that.
	Look at that.
	Oh, look at that.
	I mean, what a G, dude.
	And you're going home to Faith Hill and you look like that?
	Come on, dude.
	You got to really care.
	I would have mirrors all over.
	That's good.
	I'd have just mirrors in my house.
	I'd get rid of the damn wallpaper.
	Yeah.
	Nothing but mirrors.
	I want to look at me, baby.
	Oh, yeah.
	I want to look at a little bit of extra tint.
	Sit down for dinner, dear Lord.
	I'd like to say grace and letting everybody thank you for me.
	Amen.
	Take the A and the N out of it, baby.
	Me.
	Me.
	There's no I and amen, but there's a me.
	You just pray.
	Yeah, yeah, there is, baby.
	There's a me in amen.
	Thank you, Lord, for me.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, man.
	Do you have a routine when you're out there on the road?
	What's that like for you?
	Nah, man.
	Super lame.
	Yeah.
	Super bummer.
	I either wake up and play golf or I try to go to a gym and work out, not like old Timmy over there.
	I like to go and put a lot of weight on either side of the bar and sit there for like 20 minutes on my phone, and then I'll just take the weight off and go back to the bus.
	But I play a lot of golf on the road, dude.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, Nate Bargatzi is a comedian who plays golf.
	He is phenomenally funny.
	Yeah, he's very funny.
	He is unbelievably hilarious.
	But that's kind of the cool thing about touring: I mean, you're in a different city every day.
	Right.
	So you can play a different golf course every day.
	Now, some days you're playing like these really nice country clubs that you're not even good enough to be playing at.
	And then the next day you'll be in like Albuquerque, New Mexico, playing like Antler Hole Community Golf Course, and it's solid dirt.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's a halfway house.
	There's meetings and stuff going on.
	There's 12-step meetings on the fairway.
	Yes.
	Have you played Albuquerque?
	Yeah, we just played there a couple weeks ago.
	Remember, we were in Las Cruces or Albuquerque, something like that.
	Let's discuss it.
	There's not a lot going on here.
	Albuquerque is unbelievable, bro.
	Dude, everybody at the gas station had a parole officer with them.
	Yeah.
	With them, dude, it was like...
	Like Will Smith and whoever was in that movie with him is going to roll up on that little spider leg deal any minute.
	Yeah, it's almost like if I saw a drug dealer, I would be at least happy to be seeing a business person.
	Yeah, yeah, a hustler.
	Yeah, like, oh, man, glad to meet somebody with an LLC here.
	It is drugs incorporated.
	Bro, I just never been to anything like that.
	I didn't know what was going on, you know, and they were, and I was talking about this the other day, but they're always like talking about the aliens and stuff.
	I was just about to say that.
	It's like the drugs got to be good out there because they're seeing UFOs we're not seeing anywhere else.
	And you don't have any video footage of them.
	It's like all of a sudden everybody has a camera in their pocket and we're not seeing any videos of these UFOs.
	Because the aliens are the people they are.
	We may be the aliens.
	It's not us, bro.
	We're passing through.
	You think only the citizens of Albuquerque?
	We're coming to the zoo to visit.
	I like that.
	And I'm not saying it's the citizens, but it's there is there are easily aliens or bots or what I don't know what they're called, drug bots.
	I don't know what you'd call them in Albuquerque, but they are woven into the fabric of the species there.
	Maybe that's how they're getting that stuff into the United States.
	I mean, there is definitely some, there's fentanyl in the DNA over there.
	They're sucking people up into that UFO and they're dropping down kilos of kelk and all kinds of stuff.
	Maybe that's how it rolls out there.
	I wouldn't be surprised if they are.
	It's like a greyhound station for UFOs, I think.
	That's a great.
	I mean, I'll tell you this, it's not somewhere, it wouldn't be on the top of the list of places to retire.
	Yeah.
	You know, if someone told me that they're retiring and headed to Albuquerque to live out their days, I'd be like, are you in prison?
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Did you just catch a large sentence?
	And that's what you mean by that.
	You're federally assisted.
	This is my federal retirement.
	Yeah, because I think, yeah, dude, it just blew my mind because we went to the gas station.
	There was a lot going on.
	A guy in there is like promising the lady, he's like, hold my cell phone and let me pump as much gas.
	Then I'll come back and get my cell phone from you.
	And she's like, that's not a deal for us.
	She's like, I have to give you your cell phone back and you get gas.
	But he didn't understand the deal.
	And then this is all just at a gas.
	We're like at a pilot or a loves or something, you know?
	And then there's this other guy walking around like this, like with his arms like above his head, you know, like that.
	And he's like, and he had a parole officer with him.
	And it was just, like, I've seen the backstroke and I've seen the front stroke, but this was just, this guy was like, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog.
	That's all he said, bro.
	He was like, I think he worked for Peter or something, you know?
	He's good alien drugs.
	Oh, dude.
	I'm like, this dude is definitely this guy's.
	Like, they got to start putting birth control in the heroin, I think.
	You may be on to something there.
	Because I feel like that's getting out of hand.
	There's a lot of people nowadays.
	Yeah, there's a lot going on.
	I didn't considered taking it.
	Really?
	No.
	Oh.
	That's an honest thing.
	After seeing Wolf of Wall Street, I did want to.
	Did you?
	Fucking smoke crack with me, bro.
	Lions.
	You know that scene?
	Yeah.
	I never wanted to smoke crack until I saw that video.
	Until I saw that movie.
	Man, they make it look great.
	God, they do.
	Yeah.
	And they're just super rich and they're dressed really nice, smoking crack.
	I'm like, I know for the long game, that's probably not the play.
	But for the immediate like 24 to 48 hours, if you had $100 million in a nice suit, like let's say you had like 48 hours to live, I'm smoking crack.
	When are you going to do it, though, in the beginning or at the end of the 48 hours?
	Maybe like the last six hours.
	I heard it lasts a long time.
	So, you know, go like skydive and then maybe even smoke crack on the way down before you land.
	It'd be so hard.
	You'd have to get in like a little box or something to be able to probably light it in there.
	Dude, they have to have pens by nowadays.
	Oh, that's true, huh?
	Crack pin?
	Crack pin.
	Dude, I got, I was at a smoothie place in Maui.
	This dude's like, hey, you want to do some DMT, right?
	I'd never done it.
	Did you do it?
	Yeah.
	And?
	And it's incredible.
	Yeah, it was crazy.
	Well, this guy takes me back to his house with his wife and there's children running around.
	That is not ideal.
	Yeah, that was a bit much.
	I was like, are you sure this is the place to do it?
	That's not good.
	And they're like, sure, you know.
	And they had like this little dish of macadamia nuts, I remember.
	And I love those.
	And so I took that as like a sign.
	Like, I'm, you know, you know, everything is probably going pretty good.
	And I hit it, man.
	And it was, yeah, it was definitely, I mean, I went out there.
	You know, I was like, I remember feeling like I was at like, I kind of went into the speaker at like a drive-through, like a, like a, like a drive-through food place, like a Sonic or something.
	Like I went into the speaker, and then I fucking worked at a foot locker, I remember.
	I remember getting it.
	It didn't last very long.
	No, it lasted, maybe, I don't know, maybe six, seven minutes.
	Yeah.
	What was your experience like?
	Man.
	And where were you?
	I was in Austin, Texas.
	I was living on UT's West Campus, University of Texas, West Campus at the time.
	I was not enrolled in school.
	Not enrolled.
	I was writing that first record, the Limestone Kid, I put out.
	And there was actually this kid from India who was a chemist that we had gone to high school with that was majoring in chemistry at the University of Texas.
	And he had like ordered the bark from like the Amazon rainforest or whatever, whatever chemical that they get for the DMT.
	And the bark came in.
	He made it like in his, and now looking back, I'm like, my thought process that day probably should have taken a little longer.
	But a buddy of mine was in town and he was like, hey, let's go over to this house.
	And then this, he's like, he's incredibly smart, this kid that we went to high school with.
	And he's a chemistry major and he made this shit in his dorm room.
	And everybody took a little hit.
	And I crawled out on the fire escape like a Monday morning at 8 a.m.
	And I like saw myself as a kid.
	Like I saw little like five-year-old me running across our front yard in the house I grew up in.
	And then all of a sudden it was back.
	And I felt amazing afterwards.
	It was like just complete.
	Did you feel that way afterwards?
	I felt a little spooked out.
	For y'all that don't know what DMT is, it's the chemical in your brain that makes you dream.
	Like we talked about spoken crack.
	DMT is not crack.
	Yeah, no, DMT.
	Just for the listeners.
	Yeah.
	It's like the opposite of it.
	Yeah, it's like can't harm you.
	I would recommend everybody one time in their life does that because it's like, it's very, I think it's a good thing.
	Yeah, it gave me.
	It sounded like a hardcore drug.
	No, right.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You're probably not going to see somebody like, you know, you're not going to get it in like a back alley or something.
	You know, there's not going to be a shooting over DMT.
	But it's a crazy.
	It was wild, dude.
	And then like a few minutes and you're out of it.
	And I was and felt totally normal.
	It felt great, dude.
	Just like on Cloud9.
	Yeah, I think I don't remember.
	I did it then later because then I got it.
	I was like, I want to do it again because I thought I could get to the next level.
	It was like a video game or something.
	Something.
	I'm like, oh, I want to beat that level.
	See, I've been different, like all that kind of stuff, like any kind of psychedelics or anything.
	I just like one or two times and I'm out.
	I think that like that's what those should be.
	Like people who like, like I had buddies that would eat mushrooms like all the time.
	Yeah.
	And I'm like, I don't think those are for that.
	Right.
	You know, like Welch's grapefruit snacks, 10, 15 packs, no problem.
	But mushrooms, probably, probably don't want to buy the box of those, you know, just a one-time, two-time deal.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's interesting, man.
	Yeah, I think everything's kind of like that, you know?
	But yeah, I remember that DMT, man, and then we went outside and did it, and it was like in a park, and then people were recognizing when we were leaving, and I felt like I could see kind of skeletons a little, and that wasn't good.
	So I don't think I want to do that again.
	No, skeletons, you want it to be happy.
	You want it to be positive.
	I want to stay on the joyous side of things.
	Yes.
	We had a question that came in about partying and stuff on the tour.
	Can we get to that?
	Yeah, I'm sorry.
	It's so out of here.
	Jesus.
	I don't know what happened.
	You can call Guinness Book of World Records and say we just did the hottest podcast of all time.
	It's got to be eight.
	Dude, we should go do one in the Sahara Desert and really set the record.
	Get Rufus DeSoul to play?
	Do it in Albuquerque.
	Could do it in Albuquerque.
	The fuck is somebody left the oven on up in Albuquerque.
	Dude, it's been on for 100,000 years out there, dude.
	Yeah.
	They don't even have bushes and stuff.
	It's so hot.
	Dude, they got people there.
	Yeah, they got a dude with two tongues, and he'll be standing there talking to a dude with no tongues.
	And you're like, this is insane.
	Do you have his tongue?
	This is damn serpentry, bro.
	Both of those yours?
	Let's play that up, buddy.
	Theo, Parker, huge fan of both of you guys.
	Absolutely insane to see you doing a podcast together.
	Very, very excited for it.
	My question is for Parker.
	I'm a Texas guy, born and raised.
	Been a huge fan of the more Texas style of country music, you know.
	And you kind of hear a lot of tall tales, a lot of speculation, a lot of crazy stories about you and Ko Wetzel on these tours doing crazy stuff, doing just all kinds of shenanigans.
	I'm wondering if we can get a story or two out of you.
	Some crazy shit you and Ko have done.
	That'd be really, really cool to hear coming from a fan.
	Thanks, guys.
	Gang, gang.
	Gang, baby.
	Yeah, Ko is unbelievable, dude.
	Ko is like a disco ball in a cowboy boot.
	He's really one of a kind.
	I want him to come on here.
	I think he's going to at some point.
	A true future Hall of Famer in the game of life, that young man.
	Fucking Spark McGuire, dude.
	He really does it.
	He's great, man.
	And it kind of bugs me sometimes because people overlook how good of a singer he is.
	Because his show, it's all about so hardcore rock and roll.
	It's such an entertaining show.
	And no one ever talks about how just fucking good of a singer.
	Like, his voice is incredible.
	He's such a good singer.
	The first time I ever met him and heard him sing, I'm like, I'm fucked.
	Very unique.
	Yeah, dude.
	And incredibly creative.
	And if I was a fan, I would be a huge fan.
	If I was just a fan, I would be a huge fan of his because he gives those people 110% of Kowetzel.
	Oh, he's too.
	I mean, he's almost the sweetest guy in the world, dude.
	He's extreme.
	He's so generous.
	Yes.
	I mean, he's an East Texas boy, dude.
	That's how it rolls out there, man.
	A lot of, just very well raised.
	But as far as, oh, man, crazy stories.
	Yeah, there's one in particular that comes to mind.
	Man, I hadn't thought about this in a long time.
	We were playing in Waco, Texas.
	And this place called The Backyard.
	And we used to do this acoustic tour during Christmas time, him and I. And even before we had tour buses, like the first year we did it, we were just in a van together.
	And we'd do like, you know, six nights the week before Christmas.
	It's acoustic, go play bars, you know, and it's like the level of entertainment was just unbelievably underwhelming because we were just so messed up every night by the time we got on stage.
	It was a lot of fun.
	And the first year we ever did it, we played in Waco at the backyard.
	And before we even went on stage, I mean, we were floored, dude.
	Like, I mean, I don't even remember being on stage.
	And after the show, he wanted to go to the titty bar.
	And I don't know if you've ever been to the titty bar in Waco, But it's smaller than this room.
	There's like two dancers.
	And that's never been my thing.
	I've never been a fan of the, I never wanted to have to pay to touch.
	You know what I mean?
	But Ko loves them.
	Loves them, dude.
	And he may be buried in there in one of those one day.
	Oh, he looks like he loves a titter.
	Yeah, he loves a good titter.
	And I have no disrespect.
	I cast no judgment.
	Oh, no.
	Look.
	If I've got to go into one to get to where I'm going, I don't mind passing through, you know.
	But we come off stage.
	He wanted to go there.
	And so we, I don't know who drove us, an Uber or somebody drove us.
	It's the worst.
	It's like Hall of Fame, not Hall of Fame.
	Yeah.
	You know, worst Hall of Fame ever titty bar.
	Bad titty bar.
	Yeah, it really bad.
	Scoliosis, I know that.
	Yeah.
	And so we go in there and we have a few shots.
	And we don't even, we didn't even like, no girls dance or anything.
	We're in there for like 30 seconds and he orders a drink and the room's very small.
	And he picks the drink up in a glass and just slams it against the mirror on the wall and just shatters fucking everywhere.
	And I'm like, dude, we're literally, we're either going to jail or we're going to die.
	Like it was, it was, it was a scary situation.
	And he just doesn't give a fuck, dude.
	Like he is just like, it's his titty bar.
	Well, so they kick us out and we have to go out into the parking lot.
	We don't have a ride.
	We don't have anywhere to go.
	It's like 1.30 in the morning and waco.
	And it's like a Tuesday night, you know, the first night of that tour.
	And dude, he.
	Well, dude, I'm sitting there.
	I'm like fucked up on my phone trying to find a way to get us out of there.
	And I look over and he's in the road on all fours crawling at oncoming traffic.
	Damn boy.
	True fucking story.
	And I'm sitting there.
	I'm like, oh my God, he's going to hit by a fucking car, but I'm too fucked up to do anything.
	Yeah.
	He's like Tamplona.
	Yes.
	And so eventually he, you know, he gets up off of the road and somehow or another, somebody came and got us and took us back to the venue.
	And the venue has like this apartment you stay at.
	We go in the fucking apartment.
	He starts kicking holes in the wall.
	And he's like screaming at me in the face to kick a hole in the wall.
	I don't want to kick a hole in the wall.
	And he's like, you're not fucking going to bed until you kick a hole in the wall.
	So I have to kick a hole in the wall.
	Oh, damn, man.
	And I get real, you know, even more fucked up.
	And I end up laying on this little air mattress in all of my clothes.
	And I wake up at like 5.30 in the morning.
	Coast, still awake.
	And he's yanking my boots off.
	And he's just going, I'll never let you sleep in your boots, P. I'll never let you sleep in your book.
	And just yanking my clothes off of me.
	And I'm like, like Vietnam.
	I'm like, dude, that was like one of the first times him and I had been on the road together.
	And I was like, man, this guy means business.
	He's one of my best friends in the world, dude.
	I love him.
	I would take a bullet for him any day of the week.
	He's a hero.
	I mean, he is like beloved by people.
	Yeah, dude.
	When you go that hard and you give that much of yourself to those people every night, you're going to get that in return.
	Yeah, I mean, he definitely, I mean, like there's something about him where he will give everything he had.
	He'd give you all the blood out of his body.
	100%.
	Dude, he is a great dude.
	And everything that kind of surrounds him and his brand and his vibe and everything, I just, I don't even think people understand or appreciate just how good naturally of a fucking, he can just belt.
	Yeah.
	Like we get fucked up seeing Frank Sinatra and he can just rip it.
	It's really impressive.
	Yeah, he's got a, I mean, yeah, he gives you the blood right out of his body.
	How much blood is even in a body, I wonder?
	How much blood's in a body in there, Trevin?
	You pull that up?
	Like five or six liters, maybe?
	Is it liters?
	Damn, huh?
	We've gained it.
	I mean, I'll tell you, global warming is not affecting that shit, huh?
	How many liters are in a gallon?
	See, that's the problem.
	They give you all these charts.
	Approximately 1.2 to 1.5 gallons.
	Okay.
	So that's like, you think about a gallon of water.
	That's just one and a half of those.
	That's crazy.
	I think that's all that's in us, huh?
	I would have thought that was way more.
	I thought like a little half a baby pool.
	Half of a baby pool of blood.
	I wonder if that's ever been a thing.
	If that's ever, has there ever been a baby pool full of blood?
	I would hope not.
	God, I hope not.
	But yeah, I mean, I don't know if I get.
	Yeah, it's definitely.
	Here we go.
	Better find out.
	We are on the last leg of production staff here as they Google baby pool full of blood, baby.
	That's awesome.
	So how do you get to that part where, you know, you're just learning about music and then you get to the part where you and Co are going out and touring together?
	Just get me through some of that timeline for our listeners.
	I put out my first record, The Limestone Kid, in 2015.
	And I had a song called Meet You in the Middle that kind of blew up off of it.
	And I had a Twitter message.
	I had just gotten a Twitter, and it was from this guy named Ko Wetzel.
	And he was like, hey, man, like your stuff.
	You know, let's haul it.
	Let's write sometime or whatever.
	And I messed him back.
	I was like, yeah, you know, whatever.
	I'd love to.
	And this is like 2014, 2015, something.
	And I actually ended up meeting this guy named Jake Murphy, who's one of Ko and I's greatest friends, also a future Hall of Famer in the game of life, one of my favorite humans on earth.
	And he was buddies with Ko and he had started to roll on the road with me.
	He was tour managing for me at the time.
	And he was like, man, you got to meet my buddy Ko.
	And I'm like, dude, I think he messaged me one time on Twitter.
	I think he's a singer too, right?
	And he's like, yeah, he's really good.
	And so he, the first time we ever hung out, we went fishing.
	I think, I want to say it was on like the Leon River or something in Stephenville, whatever the name of that creek or river was.
	And it was like us three people in the smallest John boat that has ever been made.
	And we were fishing and the river had flooded.
	We almost just had a great time and started hanging out.
	And, you know, I mean, we just kind of ran around with the same people.
	And I was kind of rolling a little bit at the time.
	I had a little bit of steam going in Texas.
	And obviously when I met him, I was like, dude, he's so fucking good.
	I was like, people got to know, you know, so I was trying to kind of, you know, whatever I could do for them.
	And they didn't need my help whatsoever.
	Like they were, they were raw.
	There was no question they were going to be big time.
	But me and him just became really good friends.
	And we were kind of the only two in our circle when we started to see a little bit of success that kind of understood, you know, kind of the things that were going through our minds, the shit we were dealing with and stuff.
	And so that's really kind of where I think we became really good friends was we kind of had each other to be like, yo, you know, talk about your shit.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And so, I mean, it was, I don't know, probably a year or two later.
	I was sitting at my house in Austin working on that next record.
	And he called me and he's like, hey, man, I wrote this song called Love.
	Would you want to finish it, write the last verse and sing it?
	And I was like, yeah, do you mind if I kill her?
	And he's like, no, that'd be great.
	So I wrote the last verse of Love right there.
	I think I was still on the phone with him.
	I was like, what do you think about this?
	He's like, yeah, it's great.
	Let's cut it.
	And we went in and cut it.
	And it was a huge song for him and did a lot for me, too.
	I got way too much credit for that song more than I deserved, certainly.
	He really deserves all the credit for that.
	I just killed her in a little small verse at the end.
	And man, it was like the second that song came out, it was like, all right, get ready to be a rock star.
	Because, I mean, there was no question in my mind he was going to be a superstar.
	So I love him, dude.
	I'd take a bullet for him any day of the week.
	People love him.
	I get a lot of requests.
	A lot of people ask me about him, just spending time with him.
	I got to go to the Super Bowl with him.
	And, dude, we had such a good time.
	I mean, he's just so much, he's just so much fun.
	And he's just so dang lovable.
	Yeah.
	He's just such a good dude, man.
	I mean, I think people see him and, you know, the way he looks and the way he acts on stage and stuff.
	And they probably think that's like, you know, like he wakes up in the morning and it's just like that away.
	But I mean, he's really just a good dude, man.
	He's got a huge heart.
	And, I mean, just a good person.
	I love his family.
	He comes from good people.
	He's a lot of heart.
	I bet he has more than five leaders in him.
	100%.
	Way more than a baby pool good old.
	I think he got that.
	Hell yeah.
	I think he's a six-leader man.
	I think he has an album cover or something of Babypool now that I think about it.
	I think he is a damn six-leader man, bro.
	Yeah, he could.
	Maybe that's a new nickname for Cove.
	Six-leader man.
	Yeah, dude, because he's got, yeah.
	You need to have him on, though, dude.
	I mean, he.
	I know.
	Well, I just want to have him on just from the pure stories.
	And I've also been found.
	I mean, I just went through Texas touring.
	Yeah.
	So it kind of was like, you know, and we talked about you on the Jelly Roll was in here a few months ago and we were talking about you.
	And I don't know if that part made it in the episode because there was some lighting issue.
	But we were both singing a lot of your songs and stuff.
	And then when I was going through Texas, I was like, oh, man, this is kind of the perfect time, you know?
	Because I didn't know Texas was what it was, man.
	We went through Midland and Lubbock.
	Yeah.
	And that's when we went through Albuquerque.
	And it's, I mean, it's, they got some real people out there.
	It's like just real people.
	There's some people hiding out out there.
	There are some people hiding out.
	There are people hiding behind cactus.
	You'll see a lot of dudes and they'll just be walking around like this.
	It's like you've been hiding behind a cactus, bro.
	Dude, West Texas is its own animal, man.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's its own thing.
	It's almost like being on Mars, but with ranch dressing kind of.
	I always say it's like Corpus Christi without the ocean.
	Have you ever been to Corpus?
	It's what it reminds me of.
	But I love West Texas.
	I went to school there.
	I grew up in East Texas and so Southeast Texas.
	And so pine trees, like thick-ass national forests, stuff like that.
	And so West Texas has always kind of been, like you said, like Mars to me.
	There's no trees.
	Yeah.
	There's no bushes.
	Yeah.
	Not a lot of grass.
	And then people come out to the show.
	It's like, where'd they all come from?
	I know, dude.
	And dude, we'll sell 8,000 tickets there.
	And I'm like, what are these people doing?
	But it's great, man.
	I love West Texas.
	Midland, Odessa, Lubbock.
	We've played in El Paso.
	We just played Amarillo this past weekend.
	That's so cool, man.
	So I love it out there.
	Yeah.
	It's amazing how big it is.
	It's amazing how many people are out there.
	But yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed it, man.
	I just couldn't believe it.
	Like, we'd pull up at a venue and we'd look around in the parking lot and you couldn't see anything forever.
	You're like, where's people going to come from?
	You know?
	But then people are.
	It's like you're going to see like a Mars rover pull up and like 10,000 people get out.
	Yeah, like an express for Turkey.
	It's like the last, like that into all the way out to California.
	There's just not a lot going on.
	You know, there's like Vegas plopped in the middle out there.
	It's like the Oasis, but I mean, it's just like a whole stretch.
	Just like still like the Wild West, man.
	There's just no town.
	Like if you want to, like, if you're wanted by the law and you love hardcore drugs, you have like a thousand mile stretch right there where no one's going to find you and you can get great drugs.
	Yeah.
	So that's true, man.
	You're right there.
	You're really on the front porch of great drugs coming up through Mexico and stuff.
	That's beautiful.
	Look, I've been burnt out for a while.
	I've had a lot of burnout.
	I mean, just exhausted.
	You know, my body sweating, stomach growing, hair falling out, teeth feeling gentle.
	A lot of burnout.
	I've been working too much, not taking enough time for myself.
	Well, life's overwhelming and many people can be burned out without knowing it.
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	You know, I got on there to get my sister an umbrella.
	She was getting wet.
	And they said, well, dang, welcome to Umbrellas Unanimous.
	I didn't see on a little box at checkout, it said if you want to get unlimited umbrellas.
	And they even said umblimited.
	Play on words for them.
	And so I did it.
	Next thing you know, she's getting umbrellas every month.
	Goddamn, so many umbrellas, just unbelievable.
	You know, she, you know, can't even get a glass of water down her these days.
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	What about, sometimes you used to sing about drugs and some of your music and stuff.
	Have you had any troubles with it?
	Were there any point where you wanted to kind of rein yourself back in?
	Yeah, man.
	I do not go near as hard as I used to now.
	I had to.
	I kind of had like a just a point where it was really through COVID.
	Like I hadn't been off the road like that since I was 22 when I started going on the road.
	And I mean, sitting around with money in the bank and nothing to do.
	You know, living in downtown Austin, there's plenty you can get yourself into at the time.
	And I just went a little too far and I had a couple nights where I was like, you know, is this it kind of thing.
	But well, you know, next day I was like, I got to get out.
	And I'd been dating Hallie Ray for a while and I was like, you know, it's, if I want to see 30, 35, 40, you know, it's probably, I just had, I had to get out, dude.
	I started, you know, it all started partying and all the fun and games on the road.
	And then, you know, when you, when you take that stuff back home with you and you're by yourself, still doing those same things, that's when I was like, I think, and I had so much to lose, man.
	Like my career started to really go well.
	You know, I had pretty heart went number one in platinum and I had a major record deal and all this stuff.
	And I was just going down the wrong road.
	And nobody knew.
	Like I didn't go to rehab.
	I didn't go tell anybody.
	I didn't tell my parents.
	I didn't tell anybody.
	I told my brother a little bit.
	But I just kind of was like, dude, you're a grown fucking man, you know, and you got a lot to lose and you got a lot on the line.
	And it's going to be a whole different ride and probably a lot shorter ride if you keep on the road you're on.
	So I just fucking woke up one day and I was like, I'm done, dude.
	Wow.
	I'm out.
	Good for you, man.
	That's powerful.
	Thank you.
	That's powerful to have that ability, to have that wherewithal and then, but also to have that ability.
	I think that's where some people lack that, to say, this is it.
	Dude, you can get used to anything.
	That was really the way I looked at it.
	I was like, dude, you can get used to something so quickly.
	You think about like, I'm sure you've talked about it earlier.
	You've been on a private jet.
	Yeah.
	How easy is that to get used to?
	I just applied that same mentality to the shit that I was doing that I wasn't supposed to be doing.
	And I was like, I can get used to living without this.
	And it took a little while.
	But I was like, I just, I had to get out, dude.
	I didn't want to, I didn't want to live.
	I love being on the road and waking up in the morning and feeling good.
	I look forward to the show.
	I look forward to writing a record and going to work and trying hard.
	That was like something I didn't think was cool for a long time.
	Now I'm like, dude, trying hard's dope as fuck.
	Like, trying hard's a great thing that I wish I would have realized a long time ago.
	I used to think trying hard was like for losers.
	Yeah.
	You know, like, this guy fucking putting effort in.
	What a ding-dong, you know?
	Bro, that's so captivating because, yeah, when you're like, if you're kind of going through school and stuff in your high school and if like there's some dude trying real hard, you're like, this dude is a nerd.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	But then you kind of get around in your own later life.
	You're like, oh man, if I took what I naturally, some of the natural blessings that I've had and applied some hard work to them, damn, baby, it could be lights out.
	Man, I was living in that condo in downtown Austin.
	Dry wall, dog.
	I'd be hanging dry.
	Nerds in my lungs.
	And there's a bar on top of that building that's a residence only that's open from like 4 to 2 a.m.
	every night looking over the city.
	It's a super dope place to live.
	I'd never lived in the city before.
	I'd always lived, you know, on land or out in the country, whatever, like inside the city like that.
	I'd never lived there.
	And I wanted to do it.
	And so it was a lot of fun.
	It really was.
	I had a lot of good times.
	But it just, and I think any good advice I give to a young dude, I'm like, set your time.
	Pick your age.
	Like, you're going to go as hard as you can fucking go.
	You're going to party until 28 or 35 or 25, whatever it is.
	And then that's your heart out.
	And after that, it's time to try hard.
	Gang.
	So.
	That's good advice, man.
	We had a question coming here about a suggestion right here from a young fella.
	Let's get to it real quick here.
	What up, Theo?
	What up, Parker?
	This question is for Parker.
	So, Parker, I'm getting ready to move to Nashville as a songwriter.
	And I was wondering, what advice would you have for making those industry connections and getting in better rooms?
	And just what advice would you give somebody getting ready to move to Nashville to try and do it?
	Appreciate y'all.
	Gang, Theo.
	Gang, baby.
	Man, I don't know.
	You know, it's kind of a general question, but he seems sincere about it.
	Yeah, I mean, dude, it kind of goes back to the trying hard thing, man.
	I mean, you don't have to live here.
	You really don't.
	George Straits, the King of Country Music, he's never lived in Nashville, never moved here.
	I moved here because I had to get out of what I was just talking about in Austin.
	I had to go somewhere.
	I had to get out.
	And that was the only option for me at the time.
	And I can't wait to move back and buy a ranch and move back to Texas.
	But, man, some of the people are here.
	There's a lot of people trying to do it.
	But if you don't know what you're trying to say and you don't know who you're trying to be or who you want to be, then it's going to take a long time to figure it out in this town.
	I think you have to know.
	Like when I started coming here, Randy Rogers from the Randy Rogers band was managing me at the time.
	He's the one who told me to come here.
	He's like, dude, I think you could be a superstar, but you got to go to this town to do it.
	I didn't want to come here.
	And even when I started coming here, I would call him and I'd be like, dude, I don't want to be here anymore.
	Like, I don't want to come back.
	And he's like, you need to, like, just trust Me.
	And it was the greatest decision I ever made.
	Shout out Randy Rogers.
	And so to that young man right there, dude, I would just say, know what you're coming here to do before, you know what I mean?
	Like, what kind of, what do you really want to be?
	Do you just want to be a songwriter?
	Then you need to have some songs that are absolutely as stout as a song can be, as well written as they can be.
	So when you come here, you have a little something to bargain, you know, you have a little something to negotiate with.
	It's kind of like when I signed my record deal, I was already selling a bunch of tickets all over.
	Right.
	So I had all the, the ball was kind of in my court on the record deal.
	I didn't have to sign one.
	I wanted to sign one.
	So same thing as a songwriter.
	If you're coming here trying to get a publishing deal, have a little something going already, you know, and be like, hey, I've got these songs.
	You know, have a little something.
	And, you know, you don't just want to come in empty-handed and you get signed into a bad deal because you don't know any better and you don't have anything to offer.
	That's a great point, man.
	And I think knowing what you have planned, I noticed at the comedy store in Los Angeles, that's like a popular comedy spot right there.
	And there'll be people that go there, they make the mecca out from wherever, you know, to different cities or wherever town they're from.
	They get the, you know, and I'm going to live here.
	And then some of them choose to just be somebody that sits on the porch and drinks there every other night, you know?
	It's like, okay, that's fine.
	It's definitely a way to be, you know, but it's like, are you really living out what your goal was?
	You know, some people, yeah, they just, they'll move to LA and they'll get invited to all these parties and stuff, but then they're just up in the hills doing Coke every night.
	And it's like, you know, five years go by.
	It's like, okay, well, what were some of your goals and aspirations?
	Did you really have any?
	Yeah.
	That's a, you know, I wish I'd have set some of those lines in my own life at certain points.
	Same, dude.
	Well, dude, I just realized I realized like as organically as you can watch it unfold, like the people around me, I was like, man, nobody's like, nobody, everybody's coming over to my house to party, but nobody's trying to make any money.
	Nobody's trying to build a career.
	Nobody's trying to hustle.
	And it just took me like going to the bottom of that hole to be like, the fuck, dude, trying hard and taking care of your business and acting like a grown man, that's cool shit.
	Like it's not for losers.
	It's really fucking cool.
	And I just, it took me a little longer to realize it than I wish.
	And dude, do you think about some people never get there?
	Some people never realize that.
	Some people realize it when they're 60. Some people are born like that, I guess.
	Like my sister, she was born like that.
	She's just hustling out the womb.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Some little babies come out with a watch.
	Yeah, dude.
	They're just destined to hustle and everything's success.
	You'll see a baby, some of them cut their own umbilical cord.
	Absolutely, dude.
	Like, damn.
	I think my sister, Michael was probably one of those people.
	But yeah, I don't know.
	I wish I would have realized that younger.
	But you're not old.
	No.
	You still got a lot of time.
	And your music is kind of like you still make music that almost feel.
	It's funny because your music makes me feel your music makes me feel I feel young when I listen to your music.
	That's dope.
	So I don't feel like it has, because it only can have, I feel like music can really only have as much history as you have if somebody's really to believe it.
	Yeah, you're right, what you know.
	Right.
	And this is, look, I don't know anything about music.
	I'm just a person with two ears.
	But yeah, your music makes me feel like, I don't know, I sing along to it.
	You know, I feel like.
	I mean, my switch is, it's not, you know, like nowadays in country music, there's so much pop influence.
	Yeah.
	Like a ton.
	It's like basically rap in a way, pop music.
	And like, like Wallen is, like, that's the greatest pop country I've ever heard in my life, dude.
	Yeah.
	Like, it is, the songs, the production, his voice is so fucking good, dude.
	But I, like, that's just not, like, I love that I have that to listen to.
	I love that that's what he's doing, but, like, I'm so boring, dude.
	I just like writing sad country love songs about everything going terribly wrong.
	Yeah.
	And that's what this whole podcast is about half the time.
	Well, dude, I just, that's like what I love.
	And I'm, and I'm like, it's kind of hard to, you know, it's like so much of the genre of country music, especially in Nashville, is so pop influenced.
	And mine's just, mine's not.
	And so it's like, I really struggle all the time.
	When I write songs, I'm like, who the fuck is going to listen to this shit?
	You know, it's not making you bob your head.
	It's not making you want to dance or drink beer.
	Like, it's making you want to go fucking Tex Old Gal that you swore you would never talk to again.
	Like that's a big feeling sitting there.
	Yeah, dude, that's my favorite song.
	It's my favorite kind of song.
	You know, lamenting, thinking about things, looking back, you know?
	And I think what's interesting about it, here's what it is.
	For such a guy, for a guy at your age to have some of that perspective, you don't get a lot of that sometimes.
	So I think that's what I think is really enjoyable about it because it makes me feel kind of young and old at the same time.
	That's dope.
	Because there's some perspective in it, you know?
	It's a lot of looking back.
	It's a lot of like, like you're driving away from something, I feel like, a lot of times.
	A lot of leaving.
	Yeah.
	A lot of leaving.
	Like, this is the record I'm writing right now.
	Like, every song is about going somewhere and leaving.
	And I'm like, who the fuck wants to listen to this shit?
	You know, hopefully a lot of people, but Theo Vaughn, man.
	I'll listen, baby.
	Dude, I thought your name, I listened to you for a long time before I realized that your name was Theo Vaughn.
	I thought it was The Ovon.
	Yeah.
	Did you ever get that?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, okay.
	I'm not the only one.
	Okay, yeah, because I would always be like, dude, you guys know this guy, The Ovon?
	I'd be like, fuck you talking about?
	Yeah.
	From Albuquerque Turkey.
	Two names, bro.
	From Albuquerque.
	Albuquerque Turkey, dude.
	Let's get into one more question that came from a fan for you.
	So I just want to make sure so that we got, so you started out music, you started out in Texas.
	Yeah.
	And where'd you get your first instrument?
	Where'd you get into music?
	I just want our listeners to know everything about you because some of my listeners may not know of you.
	No, 99% of them don't.
	And they're probably going to be like, they're going to love you, though.
	Who's the dipshit with the gold chains?
	You saved the day today.
	Thank you.
	You did.
	I appreciate that.
	My first time ever.
	Must be known.
	Blue ribbon for that, man.
	Dude, I played like orchestra.
	Like everybody in fifth and sixth grade was wanting to be in the band.
	And I was like, fuck that, dude.
	No one's doing orchestra.
	I'm going to do orchestra.
	So I started playing the violin.
	Can you still play that?
	Fuck, no.
	And then my mom bought me a guitar just because my brother wanted one for Christmas and she didn't want me to be all upset that I didn't get one.
	So she bought me one and my brother would never fucking teach me anything.
	Like he would never, he'd like I'd be like, yo, we teach you how to play that.
	And he'd be like, dude, get out of my room.
	And so I really just had to like, you know, I'd like learned on like the internet once the internet very first, like, there was a thing called cowboy lyrics on the internet back in the day.
	And you could look up like chords how to play.
	And I would learn how to play Chris Knight songs.
	And that's when I was in like seventh grade.
	And I wrote this song called One Man Mariachi Band.
	And it was about going to Mexico and running away and starting a one-man mariachi band.
	And so that, and then I, and my mom was like, hey, that's pretty good.
	So I kept doing it, you know, and then I wrote a song in my freshman year of high school called Permanent Headphones.
	It's not on the internet or anything anymore.
	I think you can find it on SoundCloud.
	And my brother was like, dude, he came home from college and I played that song for him, Permanent Headphones.
	And he was like, he was like, dude, you're going to be the next George Straight.
	And I was like, damn, that's a lot of pressure.
	Yeah, dude.
	I was like, ease up on that, dude.
	But it was him saying shit like that, instilling that confidence in me that I actually might be good at it.
	And so I just, I fell in love with it, dude.
	I was like, I mean, all my buddies when I was in junior high and high school listened to, like at the time, it was like Chameleonaire and Slowrider and all these rappers that were big in like the mid-2000s.
	And I was listening to Chris Knight and Adam Carroll and Slade Cleves and James McMurchie and Robert O'Keen and Randy Rogers and Pat Green and Cross Janny Ragweed.
	And I mean, just all these great songwriters.
	I was like obsessed with it.
	And Todd Snyder, I was just completely obsessed with it.
	And I had no friends that listened to that.
	So it was kind of like, and then once I got into high school and I was like, I was a real average athlete.
	Like, I wouldn't go to play college ball clearly.
	And I was like, no, not at all, dude.
	And I was like, cause I would like realized when I was like a sophomore in high school, I was like, I was like, I'm not faster than anybody, but I can play guitar and sing better than every one of those son of bitches.
	And so my junior year of high school, I was walking out of the workout and I told my head coach, I was like, yo, I'm going to quit football and go play guitar.
	And he's like, that's the biggest mistake of your life.
	Also, if he's a Texas football coach, he has to say that.
	It's the only line he has.
	Like, if you pull the string on his back, like, have you seen Dazed and Confused?
	Yeah.
	And, you know, Pink, and he doesn't want to sign the contract.
	He doesn't want to play on the team.
	He's a quarterback.
	He's real lazy.
	Okay.
	I was like, and that's one of my favorite movies of all time.
	And I was just dead set on being that guy.
	And all my buddies were like, dude, you're such an idiot for quitting football.
	What are you doing?
	And I was like, yeah.
	Like that.
	And now every one of them's like, damn, dude.
	I saw you on television.
	Yeah.
	Damn.
	Y'all see about the limestone?
	Yeah, let's go.
	You see me on Theo Vaughn?
	Fuck that.
	Gang, baby.
	Shout out to my buddy Jeff Bean if he's watching this, man.
	He was super stoked.
	I was coming on here today.
	He's a big fan.
	Was he?
	Yeah.
	Well, thanks, Jeff, bro.
	Praise God, bro.
	Praise God.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think of what else to talk about, man.
	I think we got a good dose of you, man.
	I don't want to keep using it.
	It's super underwhelming, dude.
	I always apologize when people come up master pictures and stuff.
	I'm like, I wish I was cooler to meet.
	I was like, I'm sorry.
	I'm super underwhelming.
	Being met is underwhelming, though.
	Being met, I feel like, it's like you can't.
	Get met.
	Yeah, you can't compete with what you're capable of or whatever your skill is.
	It's like, as a human, you falter to feel like, you know, people be like, yesterday, dude, you came up to me in the airport, bro.
	I was like, it was plane delays and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	The dude's like, are you dealing, bro?
	And I was like, not today, I'm not.
	Yeah.
	I said, fucking not today.
	Dude, the airport, the airport can be the worst.
	Because usually, if you're on your way, it's like a Thursday and you're flying somewhere to start the weekend.
	Yeah.
	You're like, oh, yeah, fuck it.
	Let's take some pictures.
	Like, good to see y'all too.
	But if it's on Sunday and you're like a connecting flight home, you know, and you just feel so shitty, you're so hungover, and you got people mobbing you in the airport, it's like, fuck this.
	But I'm always trying to be as sweet as I can be.
	Oh, totally.
	Be patient with them, take the pictures, but I'm just always like, dude, I'm sorry.
	I wish I was, like, I just write sad country songs.
	Yeah.
	There's nothing very impressive about it.
	Yeah, I'm just the Kleenex, baby.
	I'm basically this musical Kleenex, baby.
	You know?
	Parker, thanks so much, man.
	Honestly, bro, you really made my day, man.
	I mean, I just, and I hate to, you know, make it about me.
	It was just a fuck, it was just hectic yesterday.
	And I was like, how do I do?
	Because I was like, how do I get my feelings and my mental back to a regular level where I can just have a conversation?
	That's heavy shit, dude.
	Yesterday sounds like it was some heavy shit.
	It was just, yeah, it was.
	I've been through that with someone in my family back home.
	And it's still, he's still going through it.
	He's still battling that every single day.
	And so I get it, dude.
	100%.
	I've been down that road with him.
	Well, thanks, man.
	Thanks for being understanding.
	No sweat, dude.
	Yeah.
	Thanks for carrying the show today, bro.
	You really did.
	I'm just glad to be here, dude.
	I'm a big fan.
	I've watched it a lot.
	I still think the Ray Charles reverse ghost joke is one of the greatest jokes I've ever heard.
	I tell it all the time.
	And I heard that and I was like, I want to go on that show.
	Oh, dude.
	Well, that's awesome, man.
	Yeah, I appreciate it, bro.
	Yeah, I didn't know what it was going to be like, man.
	You really saved the day today.
	Thank you, dude.
	Yeah.
	Thanks for coming through.
	Parker McCollum, guys.
	If you guys haven't heard him, check out his music, man.
	If you're listening to this podcast, then a lot of his music is going to fit right inside of your heart, man.
	All 1.3 to 5 liters, baby.
	All three liters, baby.
	The baby pool.
	Yeah.
	Gang, baby.
	Okay.
	Thank you.
	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
	The answer may shock you.
	Sometimes I'll interview my friends, sometimes I won't.
	And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
	You have three new voice messages.
	A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
	I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
	So great.
	Hi, Sweet.
	Easy to you.
	Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
	Jamaine.
	Hai.
	I'll take a quarter potter with cheese and a McFlurry.
	Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
	I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
	Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
	Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
	Third rule.
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