Theo discusses the Logan Paul vs Floyd Mayweather fight, reacts to a naked woman destroying an Outback Steakhouse, shares his love of woman's softball and pays tribute to some childhood friends that recently passed away. Plus, Theo gives a FaceTime call to a single mother battling cancer and Hodgkin Lymphoma and offers her some help.
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Music: "The Come Up" - Eddie 9Vhttps://bit.ly/3v6zQOA"I Can Make You Like Me" - Akira The Don
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Oh, yeah.
Mmm.
God.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, I love those sounds that come out of your body.
That kind of like, you know, if you see like a sound.
And if you've never been to an outlet mall, it's basically where people, really people that love each other unconditionally go to kind of waste money on shit that doesn't fit.
You know, you'll see somebody with like a, you know, you'll see somebody with a one shoe that they, it's like a size 10 and the other one's a nine.
But they don't, you know, they're not really, they don't care that much, I guess, or they just, they're willing to deal with it for the price at $6, you know?
You'll see somebody with a neck brace that says S. D. Lauder on it.
You know, people want things that have just big insignias on it.
You know, for $4, you'll pay somebody just to damn paint Levi's down your arm or to, you know, you'll get for 50 cents, Baskin Robbins will give you ice cream.
They just scoop it right into your hand.
You know, they just, it's like a halfway house for capitalism, basically.
You know, you'll see a damn Lacoste shirt over in the distance, over in the, you know, in the parking lot shooting up in the car by himself.
He's over there just dousing up.
So I don't even know what I was going to tell you guys, but I'm happy to be here with you, and I'm happy that I'm not at an outlet mall right now.
You know, when I was a child, we liked hitting that outlet mall.
You're on your way to the beach.
You got $17 burning a hole in your pocket.
And you want about 30 items.
You could get a shirt that's made out of all collars.
There's no, you know, they messed up in China or somewhere.
And they just, damn, it's just full.
It have collars on the arms.
So your neck has a collar and both arms have a collar.
You're like, damn, this is a real professional shirt.
You know, you just, that's the kind of stuff you see.
You'll get a baby diaper there, sorts coins.
And they'll give you that for 58 cents, 67 cents, 77 cents.
It's just that kind of shit, you know?
You can get a soda for 60 cents, but there's no cup involved.
They just pour it into your mouth.
Drink as much as you can.
And they'll have a store say unlimited beverages.
We'll douse you up.
We'll douse your daddy up.
Yeah, it's a lot of sunburnt people.
A lot of non-Bitcoin owning type of people, I feel like.
Just regular people.
You know, a lot of people that have been involved in domestic disputes better and, but now they're going to the beach.
And on the way there, they stop and get a little dose of that come up.
You know that.
And I'll say this, man.
No shade to Britain.
I know you guys send in whatever his name is, little Marky or whatever that guy's name is, Prince Harold.
Y'all send in his little ass over here with his trifling lady.
And we send her over there.
Y'all send him back.
You know?
Apparently, the current, the import-export business is just, we're just all just sharing a bunch of fuck tards, you know it.
And I'll say this, man, a biscuit would beat the hell out of a scone.
And you could put that on your great-granddaddy's damn doorstep, dude.
Unless y'all sold his home after he died.
No shade, baby.
Let's come up, baby.
Gang.
Gang.
This is Eddie 9V with the come up.
And that's nine volt.
I'm on a coma.
Yeah.
Feels real good after I've been so blue.
Mm-hmm.
Feels on a coma.
I'm on a coma.
It feels so good to have a brand new view.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I just broke up with my baby.
Now I can finally get the love on you.
Mm-mm-mm-mm.
Yeah, you're on a coma.
Well, I just moved up to Lucky Street when the mayor came and said to me, You're on a coma.
You're on a coma.
And it's plain to see between you and me.
We got so much love and chemistry.
It's on a coma.
It's on a coma.
Well, good things keep on coming.
And there ain't gonna be no running.
No, I'm on a coma.
Mm-mm.
I'm on a coma.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I just got home and now I'm back.
I got so many people asking where I'm at.
I've been to Tennessee and Ohio.
Oh, I toss a low, so women know I'm on a coma.
Nothing really more to say.
He's on a coma.
Well, if you're asking me what I really want to do, Is just come right back, make love to you.
I'm on a coma.
He's on a coma.
I'm on a coma.
I'm on a coma.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
There you go, baby.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah.
89 volt filling me.
Filling me, man.
Feeling my cornucopia.
Remember that deal they taught you about it back in elementary.
They taught you a cornucopia, man.
It was a damn little, I don't know what the hell it was.
Get a basket.
You know, it was just a damn, it didn't.
You know, it was just a greedy.
It looked like a damn oyster's little side piece or something.
I don't know what it was, man.
The cornucopias, and they fucking, they stuffed them with carrots and all kind of shit.
And it just, it was too much to, I couldn't handle.
I didn't know what was going on.
It looked like a it looked like a seashell, like a damn gay seashell or something.
Or a sexually curious, you know, or bit curious, they call it.
It looked like a bit curious seashell trying to have a salad or something at one time.
And that was cornucopias, man.
I'm gonna come up.
That's 89 volt.
That is a good tune, isn't it?
And thank you guys for being here today.
We are here.
And that is the choice that we made, and I'm grateful for it.
What's going on, man?
A lot of little deals.
You know, you had the Floyd Merriweather and Paul Logan Paul went at it.
And it really kind of had a, I mean, Logan Paul come in.
He came in hella German on that fight when you're looking at him.
Real Swedish, very Viking, very like, damn.
This fella owns an axe type of look.
You know, and I don't know.
You know, I don't know if I like watching, do I want to see millionaires fight each other?
I want the underdog in there, I feel like.
And I guess, you know, Floyd has accusings of wife of, you know, he's beat 50, 50, he's 50, you know, seven of his wins came against ex-wives, allegedly.
And so, you know, maybe that's what you want to see.
I don't know.
I was just wondering what made me want to, you know, I was on the airplane.
There's no streaming on there.
So you have to just guess what's happening, which is, you know, it's like the old days, really.
You know, it used to be like, what happened?
Somebody would tell you they described it.
No, it was like, and then the guy, and then he couldn't even, I don't know, man, it's on boy, wobble.
It's on boywobo.
But then it's, you know, it just gets different, you know, and now it's like there's just so much.
You get so many of the recaps and stuff.
But I'm on this plane.
I'm trying to get the thing to stream.
It wouldn't.
But about every 55 seconds, it would give me a glimpse.
Just a JPEG, just a BAM.
And yeah, and so I had no idea what was happening.
It looked kind of like a couple of square dances.
It looked like a couple of young men that had met somewhere and was doing drugs and, you know, probably at a men's club, a nightclub called Splash or Fade or Joy.
Usually the gay club in town has that, you know, kind of like it's never like Care Bear Ernie's tug-it-out boys shop or something.
You know, I wish they would go with a more vibrant name, a lot of gay men, night, you know, drinking holes, water holes, bars.
But they don't, you know, they just kind of, it's always like vibe or glisten.
Glisten is kind of a dicey one.
I feel like that's, I don't know what they're doing in there, but yeah, we had, I'm trying to think, spray was one.
You're like, that's, that's, that seemed like a tough bit.
But yeah, I tried to watch on the airplane.
I couldn't do it.
I could not get that thing to load up and to function.
And so I just got a glimpse every now and then.
But that's what the one thing that's interesting, the old days, you know, I feel like that's how storytelling really found its that's why storytelling had some value.
It had some limbs on it.
You know, it had some legs.
Because you had to tell a story.
What happened to Ronnie?
You know?
Oh, you know, Ronnie got Ronnie got his ears pierced, man.
You're like, damn, really?
You know, He's a father of four and he's in his 70s.
And the people are like, yeah, well, you know, he likes boy bands.
You know, they caught him in his truck crying in his truck with an O-Town poster.
And then he got him pierced.
So, but yeah, just you had to tell a story.
Everybody had to.
Well, what happened?
You know, remember Paul Revere's, that fellow.
You know, the original drunk driver.
That dude's out there just rolling across the Central East, just screaming, yelling.
You know, just.
But you had to hear, you know, people used to have to tell the story.
There was a value to somebody coming into town.
Tell me what happened.
Oh, you were there.
Tell, share it with me.
It was different before we had all this mass communication.
We all had such a value, I feel like.
Because the story of the world and the story of existence, it was all, it needed all of us.
And we still have it.
We still iterate it.
But there's not that moment-to-moment value in everyone where you're like, oh, tell me what happened.
Oh, you got, you're not, man, y'all ain't going to believe what.
It's just, you know, now with so much videography, it's just a different time.
But I don't know why I said that.
I guess I was just kind of thinking a little bit.
You know, what's going on?
I got a smoothie.
I'm back out here in the Central East.
You know, and I got me a smoothie and I took that first sip and it's one of the healthy ones, man.
And it, God, it just, I wanted it.
It's a little too healthy, you know?
It kind of tastes like I'm just, like I stuck a thing into a plant and I'm just sucking that big bitch off.
Like I'm just giving it just really just giving that freaking that little baby hummer to a to a plant, you know, like I'm just damn taking down a damn begonia or something face first.
You know, I'm just doing oral on a begonia.
This thing's just heavy.
I mean, it may have dirt in it.
I have, that's the thing.
You go to some of the smootheries and it's too healthy.
It's too, it's just like, come on.
They just go too far with it.
You know, it's just too much.
Some of it's just too healthy, man.
You got a, you know, they have potting soil in it.
They'll have semen from Slovenia in it.
You're like, what?
You're just like, damn, man, you got the kind of shit make you suck off a bag of carrots after you have it.
You know, it's just some of it's just getting too healthy.
I missed the original smoothies.
That thing was mostly sugar, dude.
And then they'd hit you with two scoops of protein powder.
And they'd have like the one dude in town.
He was like, oh, I work at GNC on Folk Hawkada.
I'm eating meat right now in my head.
He would record himself eating meat with a video and then just play it back while he was also eating meat later.
You know, he'd have sound at night.
He would sleep next to an audio of him, just sounds of him eating meat.
Damn this, guys.
Got bacon brain, man.
What else is going on?
I went home to Louisiana, you know, and it was unjoyous circumstances, really, man.
I had a childhood friend that passed away.
You know, and he died of drugs and doing drugs.
You know, it's kind of wild when that happens.
And I know it's happening for a lot of people out there.
A lot of people struggling and a lot of people's friends and family struggling.
You know, I believe that there's some people that suffer from addiction and then there's some people who are somehow victims of these large pharmaceutical corporations and they're just throwing pills and everything.
You know, you go to Starbucks and get a muffin and, you know, you could get a damn, they'll do blueberry Zan bar in there.
You're like, what?
It'll be pineapples and soma.
Like, what?
That's a mixture now?
This muffin brought to you by damn Monteverde or whatever those big companies, Monsanto.
Like, gee, I don't know.
Should I eat this?
And you eat it.
You're just used to it, you know.
You're out there fucking knobbing on a couple Monsanto muffins, dude.
Now your mustache won't grow.
You don't know what's going on.
Your tongue smells like soybeans.
Anyway, man, yeah, I had to go home.
This buddy Will was a friend of mine and he passed, you know.
And it was just interesting, man.
You know, it was a lot of things.
It was a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time.
And some of you may know, you know, I spoke over the years about this gentleman.
And he and I, you know, we were friends when we were young.
When there was not a lot of people in our town.
And, you know, back when you could still hear the train come through.
And back when if somebody was on the train, it was a, you know, a decent person.
Now the train pulls up, dude.
It's a bunch of just damn, you know, anybody could be on there now.
It's mostly robbers only now on the train.
Let me put these shades back on.
I like them sometimes, you know?
It's almost like I'm in mourning a little.
And, you know, this fellow I grew up with, there was a time in our town when somebody got a hot tub.
And people had never said it, couldn't imagine, what is it?
Somebody's like, it's like a little ocean in your yard.
And it's, you know, you put a damn, you know, it's like warm.
It's like a little damn soup.
And so people were fired up, you know, and opening night, I didn't get to go to opening night at it.
There was more adults going there and seeing it and drinking wine by it.
And, you know, people would press a button and turn it on and then turn it off.
Like, oh, I just want to look at it.
Well, that's great.
You know, people bobbing for apples in it, you know, drinking.
And then maybe your buddy's wife's over there bobbing and nobody's looking and you go touch her ass a little or something or play crack hand or something for a second with her, you know, or whatever.
I don't know.
I don't know what the neighborhood was like.
I didn't go to opening night.
But the next day, they let the children get in it.
You know, and I was a child, and so I got in there and, you know, we're all in there and we were children, man.
There's many, as many kids as you could fit into a damn little hot tub.
And this, I think, this thing probably seated seven.
I don't know.
When you're a kid, everything seats seven, 70, 700.
You know, you're children, so it doesn't matter if there's people next to you or on you or whatever.
You know, little Lawrence will be in there and he'll be wearing little freaking Anthony as a scarf.
And they got nine other kids.
You know, they got twins in there.
And somebody goes in and comes out as triplets.
Who knows?
It's just being children.
The connective energy amongst children is not as very strong.
You know, as we become adults, I find I become more of a proton or a neutron.
But when you're young, you're just part of the electricity.
So anyway, we had a bunch of children in there and we'd never been in a hot tub.
People didn't know, you know, people drinking the water and doing all, you know, washing their hair.
And one kid, you know, his dad come over and baptize him on the side and people just living.
One fella brought a fish.
It died immediately because of the heat.
But people didn't know.
We didn't know.
We weren't enjoying it.
And the directions got all wet immediately, so nobody knew what they said.
And we were just hot tubbing and pretending we were in fancy.
Somebody wrote Tahiti on a sign and nailed it to the tree right there.
And God, we were living it up.
And there was one fella named CJ, and he was older than us.
He was probably, he could have been 15. He could have been 60. You know, he had scars on his back.
I don't know.
He might have been a slave.
You know, he's a white guy, but he might have been enslaved at one point.
I don't know.
He'd been through a lot.
You know, he'd been through a lot.
And I remember he had hair kind of around the top of his pants on the back.
And so anyway, we're all in the hot tub.
We're enjoying it.
We're probably maybe 10 or 12. I don't know, 11. And Big CJ been under the water.
He'd been touching his body.
You know, and he'd been prepping his body to really e-jack out and spray, you know, and really just bust full, you know.
And I'm not a pedophile or anything.
I'm just telling you a story from my childhood.
So, you know, I was there and I was a child when this happened.
Anyway, so he's prepping his body underwater.
The rest of us don't know.
We're doing backstrokes, you know, we're doing one guy's filling his mouth with water, shooting it in the air.
Somebody else is catching it.
You know, people just having a good time.
It's like a little Las Vegas out there.
It's like our own little Bellagio.
You know, we're doing it all.
And CJ been prepping his body to bust out.
Well, at one point, he stands up in the hot tub and ejects out into the water.
And we'd never seen it.
We're like, what?
We'd never seen, you know, I think I'd only ever even seen anybody else's penis.
Probably my brother.
I'd seen my own penis in a mirror, but that's just your, you know, that's still your penis.
It's not, you know, it's still yours.
It's just one.
And then I'd seen some other kid's penis through like a fire.
He was on the other side of a fire and I was on one side.
But, yeah, this kid stood up and he knew about it.
And he, so he, you know, he's e-jacking out into the pond or whatever.
And my buddy Will was right there.
And Will was a sweet guy, man.
And he just, he thought something was happening to this kid, to this CJ boy.
He thought he was dying, I guess.
You know, he thought, well, if this, you know, if he pumps out another 20 or 30 servings, he's going to, you know, each time he gets going to get it smaller and smaller, he's disappearing.
You know?
And I could see in that moment how that all registered.
It was like, oh my gosh, this guy's, You know, this guy's eventually his whole body will shoot out of the end of his wiener.
So we didn't know what to do, man.
So Will grabbed it.
Will grabbed it to really stop it off at the end, like a hose, you know, like where you bend a hose like that.
And the fella punched him, man, fell unloaded, unloaded on him.
So, and that was a lot, man.
That was a lot for one moment in time because we'd never, I'd never seen any of that.
I'd never, you know, to see such, you know, a moment of kind of sexual advancement at that and experience that and then also see a saving, you know, this real saving grace, this real, this two-handed angel, you know, come in and try to save this boy's life to keep his body inside of his body, to keep him from just dripping out his existence into the world and then to see the abuse at the end.
And, you know, that's kids, man.
And that's kids, brother.
But God, man.
God, life is a lot of gravel on the road, isn't there?
And Will, we love you, man.
And I just want to let you know that you are loved, brother.
And you'll be missed, man.
You are always up for a good time, man.
I feel like you were always, and not just any time.
You were always pretty positive, man, and hopeful.
And you'll be missed.
I got to let you know we got tour dates.
We're adding shows coming up.
Those will go on sale, I believe, next Tuesday.
And we are adding shows in Cincinnati, Durham, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Minneapolis, Charleston, and Columbus.
So just letting you know now, you can follow that information through Instagram and through the podcast as well.
As well, currently we have shows in St. Louis, Cincinnati, Charlotte.
Durham, North Carolina, over there where my mother attended college.
Chattanooga, where my mother lived actually on a mountain or on a hill over there before they had a falling out.
Knoxville, Tennessee.
Wilmington, Delaware.
Wilkes-Bayer.
Minneapolis, finally getting back over there to Prince's hometown.
Charleston, South Carolina, where I went to college for one semester and I used to work at Frozen Options over there, where they had good smoothies and dirty, where we didn't fully clean out the only tannin bed in town.
And people got dysentery and pink eye out of there.
Because some fella butted out in there one night, came in there, you know, after a night of doing cocaine and desecrated the thing with his butt or whatever, and we didn't clean it.
Very well.
Richmond, Baltimore, Albany.
We will be there.
All the dates and all the tickets should be bought through theovon.com slash tour.
That's where you have to get these things because other places are, it's ridiculous slinks.
Young lady sent me a thing the other day.
Fuck you, buddy.
Fuck you.
I'm trying to take Arnold, and I guess that's her husband or whatever.
I don't know.
Trying to take Arnold to see you.
And each ticket's $260.
And then she called me the N-word, which is fine.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't mind being called it once in a while, but, you know, it just was like, I don't know.
I guess, I mean, I'm always ready for it, but I just wasn't, you know, this seemed egregious.
But anyway, and I wrote back, I said, well, just get you a ticket from a regular locale woman.
Get you a ticket from a decent locale because you're shopping indecently on random links.
That's all the links through theovan.com slash tour taking you appropriately priced tickets.
Everything else is that's cat ass, baby.
That's cat ass.
And I don't mess with cat ass, man.
I also don't mess with paying too much for insurance.
You know, I'm redoing the insurance on my home right now.
And I'm excited about that.
And my azaleas are doing good.
And I want to thank producer Sean, who goes the extra mile sometimes when I'm out of town and helped me get the Azaleas well, keep them well.
And those bitches are doing well.
And I'm grateful to be alive, man.
And I'll tell you this story.
So the other night I go for a swim, you know, and I go for a swim.
And I'd had me a little bit of blue chew.
I was testing them out.
You know, I was testing them out because, and look, I'll be honest with you.
I gave a fella one after a show one time.
He said he was going home with his wife.
It was their sixth anniversary or something.
I said, well, you got on this, you know, year six, you got to get back in there.
You know, you got to, you got to do a little bit of traveling.
You know what I'm saying?
You got to torque out, big dog.
You know what I'm saying?
When she asks where you are, you say, I'm up.
Stay around.
And she'll know.
Don't be all, don't, you know, you could downstairs for years kind of two through four, but on year six, you got to get back upstairs.
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You know, I've been struggling recently also with staying active and staying mobile.
And my body gets tight and sometimes I just need a damn strong-handed woman.
I need a big German to get on there, you know, or a big Slovak, baby, you know, or a big urban.
Just to really just douse my muscles out with their strong manos.
That's hands.
And when I get limbered up, then I can really take care of myself workout-wise.
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You know, I've had instructors, they don't do nothing over there.
Some girl over there, over there, took her temperature the whole time and then said she, you know, was ovulating or whatever, and she had to go home to her husband.
Like, what?
Bitch, I'm here to do Carl's bitch.
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You know, I saw, I want to thank everyone for hitting the hotline, 985-664-9503, and for submitting unique videos and things to discuss here.
And there's a website here someone sent a video in of a woman who found a stranger living in her house.
Okay, backstory.
I live alone in a house.
I've a house to myself.
Nobody lives here.
Nobody lives here.
Okay, there's a woman in her bathroom talking about being lonesome and that no one lives at her home.
And this woman seems, I don't want to say vegan, but definitely, you know, kind of lady that kind of starts to...
They have a lot of ornaments and knickknackery on them.
My friends come over occasionally, but not super often.
I mostly go to my friends' houses.
Nobody uses my shower, gay.
Nobody.
First of all, every time I'm home, I hear the weirdest noises.
Weird shapes all the time that's like unexplainable.
And I just like brush it off because I'm like, whatever.
But this is my final straw.
I literally take a shower.
I've just got off work.
All I wanted to do was take a shower.
Open my shower curtain.
Someone lives in my house that has brown hair.
My hair is fucking pink.
And there you go.
At the end, she realizes based on hair color that somebody, and you can't see on the video, they pan down and there's an eyebrow or something in the tub.
And to me, this seemed like it's a who is a lady?
It could be a damn little mercantile.
What's that lady's name?
Lil.
Her name she's like uh I Uh Missy uh No, little.
Let me see.
Highest grossing female rappers.
Nicki Minaj.
I feel like it looked like Nicki Minaj was in there and lost a damn eyebrow or something.
But she said it's a man's hair.
It sounded like that, but this lady also may not even...
She'd found a damn eyebrow in the tub.
But she said she's been hearing weird stuff.
This is the final straw.
Like if you, like, if there's like, you know, somebody been making muffins and they left a bowl, you know, a muffin stuff, you know, stuffing out on your counter, then you got to call the police.
I mean, you can't, you can't be like, hmm, what is this?
Is there somebody making muffins?
Am I sleep muffining?
Like, she says, this is the final straw.
The final, I just wonder what some of the other straws were.
You know, I wonder what some of the other straws were where you finally found a piece of mustache in the tub.
And now the guy's obviously changed his, you know, whatever intel you had on him earlier.
This guy shaved his hair.
This guy's changing the game up.
You know, he could have dyed his skin.
You know, you could be looking for somebody's jaundice next month.
I mean, who knows?
But I think one way to do it, here's how I would do it.
Because obviously this dude does drugs or whatever.
And if you're willing to hide in somebody's house, if you're willing to be out there just straight Goldilocking or male Goldilock, I mean, that's the, here's what I would do.
I would stand against the wall, young lady, and I would just start counting.
I would put my hands in my face.
I'd be like, one, two.
And I think maybe it'll, then maybe they'll think it's a game.
Or maybe just stand in the living room and be like, you know what?
I can't find you.
I can't find you.
I don't know.
How do you, but it's crazy.
Put a little trap out.
You know, here's a way to find out if the man is thinking of anything sexual, if it's a rapist or not.
Get your little mouse trap.
Put a little condom on it.
And if he, you know, if you hear that thing pop off at night, you know, A, you caught him.
And B, he's a rapist, baby.
So, but I wish you well.
It's sad to see that men are now the Goldilocks in America.
You know, you got this lady out here kind of got that T-Pain vibe, and you got men out here Goldilocking.
But that's God's plan, baby, and that's where we are.
Praise God, baby.
And thank you guys.
I found that one out there, that video.
We got some other ones that came in from our listeners.
I want to thank you guys for hitting the hotline, as always.
I'm getting excited about this tour.
I'm going to figure that out.
Also, I'm going to take a little bit of time and go to a little bit of a retreat and do some just try and deal with some stuff I've been dealing with.
You know, over the past year, I've talked about it, maybe a year and a half even, I've just really been dealing with some anger issues.
You know, and I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but it's affected a lot of the way that I communicate and that I feel.
And it's affected the amount of joy and stuff that I'm having in my life.
And so I want to be a little bit more proactive.
And so I'm going to just see about maybe 10 days or something, you know.
And it's nothing where they're electrocuting you or something.
You know, it's nothing where they're beating you or anything or I'm mastoding people or anything.
It's real, I think it's just going to be an organized thing where you can kind of focus.
And so that's what I'm excited about.
I'm trying to stay excited.
You know, I literally have to commit to a spot when I get off of the podcast today.
And so I'm a little scared, I guess.
I think my biggest thing is do I really want to feel better sometimes?
You know, sometimes it's like, do I really want to feel better?
And I'm not saying that as a downer.
I'm not trying to bring anybody down.
Like, this podcast isn't about bringing anybody down.
But I, damn, sometimes I just, I want to, I have to be able to share what I'm thinking or feeling.
And yeah, you know, I'm just so hard on myself all the time.
I just want to start to figure what I have to, I have to find some, you know, I want to do some excavating there and just see what's going on.
And at the same time, keep moving forward.
You know, my mother sometimes talks to me about, well, don't sit in the past.
You know, don't sit in the past.
And some of that is super true.
You know, but sometimes it's also hard to really, you know, I notice whatever things from my past are affecting me from having like committed relationships, you know, feeling okay, being willing to dance at weddings.
I don't like doing that, honestly.
I've been so scared about dancing at a wedding.
Sometimes I wish that somebody will stand up during the nuptials or whatever and say, and protest.
So at least we won't have to dance, you know?
So, yeah, I don't know.
But I'm hopeful and everything's fine.
I'm not like in a bad place.
I'm actually in an okay place.
But I want to take some time and just kind of see what's going on.
And I have a little bit of time.
I have a little bit of space.
And so I'm thankful to God that I have this a little bit of space in my life where I can kind of investigate.
And then I can share with you whatever I'm seeing or thinking, you know?
And that really feels like a gift.
And thank you guys for your support.
Man, so many supportive people.
You know what?
I want to be able to be a part of some solution in the world.
I don't know what that means exactly.
But I think, you know, it's like, I think we're in a weird place in society where we realize maybe that all these things we're getting aren't really...
oh, there's got to be more out there than this box set of wherever.
Or this me Undies subscription, you know.
Or these two, you know, 12, you know, these 24-inch speakers.
So, anyway, I don't know.
You know me, man.
I'm always fucking hitchhiking out here inside of my own heart.
So, gang, baby.
And that's okay.
That's who I am, bruh.
I'm a sensitive fella, man.
But I'm also a bad MFer, dog.
You know what I'm saying, dude?
And I'll fucking hug Ty Your Cousin, dog, and remodel that dude's fucking lips, fam.
Praise God, bruh.
Don't even try me, dude.
I'll restack your spine, baby.
Call me Jimmy Janga, dude.
And I'll give you that slip disc.
Mecha.
So don't even put it past me.
What else is going on?
A lot of good calls that came in and a lot of great people involved with this podcast, man.
And, you know, one of the things I noticed over the year, over the past year and a half, is sometimes when I listen to people, I can't hear them as good.
Like I can hear them, but I used to be able to hear them and feel them.
And I miss that, man.
You know, I miss that.
And I don't know what inside of me is making me uncomfortable, you know, or making me.
But when I hear, when I see people or I hear people and somebody's talking and they're sharing something that's important to them, man, I want to be able to hear it and feel it.
And yeah, I just, I want to be able to do that.
And I don't know.
It's just important to me.
You know, it's important to me.
Yeah.
So that's okay.
You know, this is just a journey that I'm on, and I'm grateful to be on it.
You know, that's another thing.
I do believe that my higher power has like a plan for me that means something.
And for you, too.
I do believe there's a reason that we're all right here listening to this right now.
Because I can feel you listening too, you know?
And, yeah, I don't know, man.
I don't know.
But praise God, bro.
PTL, baby, you know that, baby.
Get in there.
It's so funny.
We did a show the other night.
And thank you to everybody that came out there in Los Angeles the other night, man.
We had a fun show.
And this guy stands up in the back, man, this fella.
And he's like, let's go.
And people are all excited.
But it's so weird.
At a comedy show, there's nothing to do.
It's like we're all fired up, but there's nothing to do, you know, except like sit back down and listen.
So it's just the weirdest dichotomy, man.
It's a weird or whatever they call it, dichotomy, dichotomy, one or the other.
Oh, I got this bad smoothie.
Damn.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, is it, is this a in this thing has a real enema type feel to it.
I'll wash it down with some liquid death.
You know that.
Dude, I've been watching that softball.
Let's go, boy.
I've been watching softball.
Dude, am I a lesbian?
Oh, my gosh.
I've been watching that S-ball, baby.
A lot of thicky thicks out there with them sticky sticks.
You know that.
Dang.
I mean, you could see.
I wish you kind of knew the minstrel cycle of the team.
So you were like, oh, okay, these, these girls, they got a little grudge.
They got that grudge.
It would be like a grudge flow factor.
Okay.
You know, they showed like the moon, the moon going, whatever, you know, oh, these girls are half mooning over here.
And these bitches is wolverine and over here.
But my God, you know, I just love watching it.
I love watching the softball, man.
I like seeing them thighs.
I like stalking the girls on Instagrams.
I like doing it all.
You know, you're with your girl.
She's like, what are you doing on your phone?
You're like, I don't know.
JMU just hit a homer.
You know, you're just getting in there, man.
And these girls, and dude, one thing that's interesting, too, the crowd at the softball game is you could hear all these chirpers.
A lot of women out there.
Not a lot of fear, not a lot of, you know, a lot of real bird-on-bird action.
A lot of ladies that like to, you know what I'm saying, it's Taco Tuesday, four Days a week, you know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Ah, I'm downstairs.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
So, yeah, it's just fun to guess like who's really, you know, out there wallet hopping.
You see some of the ladies, you know, in the stands, and they just really, those biscuit friskers, you know what I'm saying?
These ladies out there, they just checking wallet on a lot of these girls.
But it's all beautiful, man.
It's all love, you know, and happy gay pride.
And it's, man, I just damn love softball.
And the girl Montana fouts through a damn unlimited strikeouts or whatever it's called.
Like Jeepers.
You know, and it's just fun.
You see, everybody out there, they doing it.
And you see in the distance, you know, Big Tiffany's in the distance.
And she's stunting like my daddy.
You know what I'm saying?
She got some, you know, she's just out there Manny Freshing and it's just really, God, it's good, man.
I mean, what a, and it's just fun to watch.
You know, it just, there's a lot of action in those games.
There's a lot of like excitement by the ladies.
Whereas the guys, it's a little more too cool for school a lot of time with the guys.
You know, it's all tobacco and spitting and, you know, or gum or whatever.
But the ladies, they got the cheers and the chants and they're doing it all and they're touching tits.
I mean, I saw two of them jump up in the air and just damn touch tits, brother.
You know, I don't, they'll jumpstart a civic, baby, with them milk knuckles, baby.
Let's go.
And here's one, here's one right here.
This is, thank you for sending this in.
This is Naked Woman Destroys Outback.
*BANG*
This breaks my heart, man.
First of all, first of all, lady, you in here, we just got restaurants open, lady.
We just got them open.
And you know how hard it is to get anything imported right now?
Huh?
And you out here at Outback, okay?
You out here at the Australian, what is it called?
Center of teamwork.
You're out here at the Australian Consulate in wherever this is, Buffalo, New York.
And you can't handle yourself.
This is why we can't have nice things.
*Gunshot*
Look at her.
Oh.
And she's naked.
Look at this.
You don't bring a blooming onion to a blooming onion, honey.
Okay?
Good Christ.
Oh.
And the guy asked, he said, look, this is the worst part about having to work at a corporate thing.
He goes, ma'am, please.
And she don't get it.
She don't get it.
Lil Tiffany can't tighten up for one minute.
She's out here showing that slick wallet to everybody at the dang outbat.
My favorite part, there's a woman waiting in the distance.
There's a woman waiting to be seated still in the foyer.
She's going to stay and ride it out.
She's like, you know, I drove over here.
I'm going to still see if they can get me in.
Am I choosing?
Ooh, and you can see a little bit of booty right there.
Damn, boy.
Ooh, ooh.
Shorty got that back smile.
Damn.
Now here comes the officer, baby.
Let's go.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is like CSI Australia, dude.
This is it.
She's throwing stuff at this cop.
What?
And I want to apologize to Australia, man.
We, you know, we better than this, man.
we better than this.
I'm calm down and you know.
Because when I let it come, seriously, when I let it come, don't go down, don't go down.
She just told the cop, when I'm at a club that she is treated a certain type of way, well, bitch, this is Australia.
Okay?
And your little woke ass about to go to sleep.
He shook her head.
On your stomach, you're going to get it again.
Ooh.
And he freaking, he lit her up, baby.
That's at December 25th, baby.
He gave her that freaking that pistol Christmas, daddy.
You feel me?
She got tased up.
You could see her just hit them kookaburro wings, dog.
That's what you get.
That's what you get, ladies, when your dad doesn't, you know, kind of teach you how to do stuff properly.
And right there.
And that's probably addiction right there as well.
But shout out Australia, man.
We love you guys.
And, you know, that's not us.
That's that bitch.
And we ain't her.
So I love you guys.
And I can't wait to get back over to Australia.
And I'm sorry about everything with that lady.
Dang, boy.
He gave her that signature sampler, boy.
And she broke all that dishware.
We just got restaurants open.
And this is what you do.
I hope they spray that broad down with COVID.
Here's one other that came in.
Jolly Bee faces backlash after a customer receives deep-fried towel instead of fried chicken.
Philippine fast food chain Jolly Bee.
Jolly Bee is facing backlash after a customer allegedly received a deep-fried towel instead of its famous crispy fried chicken.
You know, people say they want to eat clean, but do they really want to eat clean?
That's really all I got on that.
What else do we got here, man?
Some other nice things that came in.
Let me get to a question from one of you guys.
And thank you for it.
Here we go.
Hey, Theo, man.
This is Evan.
I'm living out in Red Wing, Minnesota, southeast of St. Paul, Minneapolis here.
Oh, yeah.
Out there near Red Wing, man.
And Red Wing is definitely that menstrual cycle bird.
You know what I'm saying, baby.
We actually dip into a slip one time when she's taking off.
And then, you know, you, you know, it's a little bit of, you're going to have a little bit of turbulence on the course, baby, when you got that heavy wing a little bit ironed out.
And also, Evan, that area where you live is, or where you are.
That's where Billy Vallens died.
Richie Vallens and the Big Bopper.
They died over there in that plane crash.
And a lot of people don't remember that, but the movie La Bamba.
And I hate to spoil the ending, but they died there kind of on the Iowa-Minnesota border around there.
And I believe it's down near where you are.
What else we got?
Onward, Evan.
Thank you.
Minneapolis here.
Right off the old mighty Mississippi River.
Just kind of looking for some advice for me.
You know, I've been seeing this girl for a few months, and she took off today for basic training for the military.
She's going to be in the National Guard.
And, you know, I know I'm going to have some downtime.
I'm going to, you know, be kind of bumming or whatever.
But, you know, I go fishing a lot.
Maybe that might be my way to kind of unwind and get my mind off things.
But I just kind of look in like what you've done, maybe if it's been like a long-distance relationship or just knowing you're going to be away from someone you care about for a long time, how you've kind of dealt with that.
Because, you know, it's only three months and they'll end.
You know, it's not that bad.
But there's no way for me to communicate with their letters.
You know, you can't talk to them on the cell phone or nothing.
I'm just kind of reaching out to you, man, looking for kind of your wisdom or your advice on the topic if you have any experience.
Well, thank you, man.
You know, I've long cheated on every woman I've ever dated and been a, you know, been a real dirt diver over there.
You know, I run across the yard to smell something.
That's the kind of animal I am.
But I have had some moments when I was in love also where I behaved as a lover, you know.
I mean, and you can be two things.
You know, you can be someone who's loving and caring.
You can also be, at the same time, someone who has an affliction and really gives in to those dark arts of touch and titty, you know, of reaching for that third tot when your lady's already got two, you know.
Or reaching for that second handrail when your man's already weaned up.
And, and, you know, I used to do some nice things, man.
I remember I gave this girl a nice box of like candies and different things.
Like, you know, kind of like, I don't remember.
Like, I do remember, but I'm just ashamed to say I made like a nice box.
It had like all these like little fires in it.
And like, it was like, you know, I got the hots for you.
And it had some red hots in that bitch and a little fire engine.
Little Clifford the dog, little Tickle Me Alma.
You know, had a gauze kit for like a burn victim type of thing in there.
Had some aloe vera in there, everything.
You know, picture of a skin graft surgery or something that I printed.
Back when the printer ink, it was like, you know, you printed one thing and you had to go get a new ink.
And your dad was pissed.
And your stepdad was also pissed, dude.
And he wasn't even really your stepdad.
He was a man letting you live at his home.
But I think, dude, be sweet.
You know, it's funny because I was just talking in the beginning now about how there's no connection.
There's no ability to be a storyteller.
This is a chance for you to be that.
You know, whether this relationship works out or not, which I hope it does.
And thank your lady for her service.
But this is a chance for you to, I don't know, explore how you feel about when she is gone.
You know how you make me feel like this.
You know, or these are some things I think about.
And also try to have some respect for yourself and not overdo it.
You know.
You don't need to write every day.
That's too much of responsibility, you know.
But it sounds like you guys have a pretty good foundation.
You don't sound really concerned about that.
You just sound like you're just thinking about how to handle it.
And what I've done, man, is, yeah, just done some nice things, try to do some thoughtful things.
You know, try to like include sometimes her family or something and, you know, make like a nice little deal for her, send it.
Yeah, it's a different time now.
We're the Goldilocks.
You know, a lot of men's are at home and women out there doing electricity and doing, you know, working at the blood bank or whatever.
So.
But I just think it's nice that you even care, bro.
That's nice.
A lot of people will be like, damn, I hope they send this girl to fight in Iraq because I'm ready for a break, you know?
So I think it's beautiful for us to take that moment and see that you care, Evan.
And yeah, I think this is also a good opportunity for you to do some things you want to do that you don't have that time when you have that immediate, constant, day-to-day connection.
You know, it's hard to get your hands dirty if you got a high-five somebody every day with a clean hand.
So this is a chance for you to maybe do something new.
Learn how to do a cheese or something, a Gruyere.
You know, learn how to provolone.
You feel me?
By yourself.
You know, you could learn how to bake or learn how to shuffle or learn how to do magic.
A lot of shit you could do.
Praise God, baby.
Good luck over there, man.
I think you got it.
I think you're going to do just fine, man.
But don't just take care of her.
Also take care of you.
What else we got?
Here we go.
Kevin from Houston.
Hey, Theo, it's Kevin from Houston, Texas.
I wanted to let you know about an encounter I had with a fellow this past weekend enthusiast.
So I'm a pest text inchian, and my last stop of the day, it was pouring rain in Houston.
I really didn't want to do it.
I could have called and called out and not done it because of the rain, but I thought, you know, let me just see what this guy's problem is.
You know, I'm going to take care of it if he needs me to take care of him sooner.
I like that.
You know, I went to a restaurant the other day.
They said they can't even find any workers right now at the restaurant.
People don't even want to work.
So anybody that's doing a job, man, I commend you.
Thanks, Kevin Onward.
So I got there, started talking to him about his past problems or whatnot, and I looked down.
And we got a lot of pest problems, and it sounds like the dude had one of the ultimate pest baby Theo Vaughn gang.
And what do I see but a Theo Vaughn dark art store shirt?
And I stopped mid-30s because it doesn't matter what I was saying before.
I was like, dude, I love Theo Vaughn.
And he stuck that little hand out, that little fist, and he goes, gang, can we fit something?
And I got to tell you, that made my entire day.
I just wanted to let you know you're affecting people everywhere from Covington to Houston.
So keep it up, man.
Gang, Kevin.
Thank you, man.
Thanks for sharing that, dude.
That's awesome.
And if that guy hasn't paid his bill yet, man, will you please call into the hotline?
I'm going to see if we can't pay that pest control, man.
Because you know that dude has it.
He probably is infested with the dark arts, baby, if he's got that tour shirt sitting there.
I'm going to tell you about this, man.
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If you had an extra eighth day of the week, what would you do?
You know, I'd probably do some spray painting or something, some light graffiti.
I would organize things.
I'd find the smell in my truck that smelled like a banana.
I'd get a new logo for this past weekend and help us design some t-shirts.
I would do different things like that.
And I'd find ways to be more a part of other people's lives.
Well, if you're a business owner, you probably know exactly what you'd do with an extra day each week.
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What you really need is Fiverr, F-I-V-E-R-R, your one-stop shop for world-class freelance talents.
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With Fiverr, all the freelancers you could ever need are right at your fingertips.
If you wonder who can do this, who in my area, you don't have to always post on Facebook, does anybody know anybody that could build a retaining wall?
Go to Fiverr.
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Thank you for supporting the podcast.
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You know what?
Let's hit a win that came out today.
Let's hit a win.
We want to get some wins on the board, man.
And let's hear one right here.
Here we go.
Audi, man.
This is a little cross between a big, big win and a little bit of tip for you.
You know, you're talking about how you're thinking about settling down, maybe getting something going.
And what worked for me, man, I was throughout my 20s, I think my late teens and all that.
I was partying, listening for the weekend, and even realized it just kind of, and I wasn't finding the meeting.
I thought I would find it there.
And what happened for me was I was getting lots of girls, but not B-girls.
B-Girl would always be, I just couldn't get her.
She would never be interested in me the way I was obsessed with her.
I'd fall in love with these girls.
And they'd never told me, I'm a good-looking guy, man.
Trust me, over the phone, but trust me, I got all these other girls who I didn't really respect.
You sound decent.
'Cause Marge, it was just like, Praise God.
Happy Pride, but also NH.
I think you get what you put in.
You get in what you put out.
And so I changed my ways.
I actually found Christ.
I came to know him more.
I cleaned my act up.
And what do you know?
Like, the exact girl I dreamed up fell into my lap, man.
My life's been so amazing ever since we're married now.
We're talking about kids.
And oh, man, I pray for you, man.
I pray that you get the happiness that I get experienced.
Thank you, brother.
I appreciate that, man.
Yeah, I mean, look at, if you even look at the first chapter of the Lord's novella, if you look at that first chapter, two people blind-dated a damn olive garden, dude, in the Olive Garden of Eden, baby.
Two people, he BD'd him.
He blind-dated them right there.
Damn.
Lady orders apples right out of the gate and shit goes haywire.
And somebody, damn, and there's a snake on the premises, you know, and they got to call down pest control.
And, you know, and the two guys end up realizing they're Theo Vaughn fans there.
But no, I appreciate it, man.
You know, and yeah, I just, you know, it's funny.
I want different things in my life, but it's, I'm all so comfortable.
And man, it all makes things so comfortable these days.
You know, it's just like a damn people just serving comfort caves.
And I'm just in there, I'm just sitting here between two boulders with a book of matches.
You know?
We make it so comfortable, each person separate, comfortable.
Sedate.
Oh, you got a sexual feeling?
Jerk out.
You know, bust out.
Oh, you got this?
Don't worry.
Here's this.
You got a headache?
You got a tickle?
Are you ticklish?
I saw a pill yesterday online.
Are you ticklish?
Then get this pill.
You shouldn't have to live that way.
What?
What way shouldn't you have to live?
In laughter?
It is a battle.
It is a war.
But I appreciate you, man.
You're right.
And it takes effort and it takes adjustment.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You know, we do what we can here.
And, you know, let's keep it moving here.
And let's keep the light where it is.
And that's moving forward in front of us.
If you're struggling out there, man, know that I love you.
And know that you are loved.
And sometimes people are reaching for you.
And you got to put your hand out.
You don't have to meet them halfway, but sometimes you got to meet them at least 5% of the way.
And you can do it.
You can do it, man.
Thank you guys for being a part of my life.
And I want to say, you know, we do what we can here to be a positive thing in the world.
And we got a single mom nomination that came in right here.
Let's get to it.
Hey, Theo, it's Alec here, South Mississippi.
Man, I have a single mother I'd like to select.
Her name is Janae Seveja.
She just went through her second round of chemo, I believe.
She's battling cancer.
She has a sweet little boy, man, and she's sweet herself.
And she's just been heavy on my heart and my mind.
So I thought, why not submit a video?
Man, if you're seeing this, love you, brother.
Thanks for all you do.
Love the show.
Gang, gang, baby.
Gang, baby, there you go.
And that man is up there.
You can see that man does, he gots a hard hat on.
He might be a damn, I mean, he could be a coal miner doing a, hell, he could be doing an industrial microwave.
He could do it, industrial-sized microwave.
That dude could have a Bodor and be cooking up the damn biggest Tostito pizza roll you've ever seen.
You know, you just don't know what a lot of these people are doing nowadays.
But let's see if we can't get Janae on the line here, man.
And yeah, thanks for the submission and for brightening up my day, man.
As always, you can submit things through Theovon.com, videos for us to talk about, to discuss, things you've recorded, single mom nominations, questions you want to have possibly on the show, anything like that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hello?
Hey, Janae.
Hey.
Can you hear me?
I can hear you.
Hey, my name's Theo.
I just work on a podcast.
We do a thing where some of our listeners sometimes will call in and they want to suggest like a single mom that they know who is just who they really admire.
So we had a guy named Alec call in, and I don't know if he works at like a carnival or he might do like railroad work or something, but he nominated you.
And so we just wanted to send you $1,000 to do something fun with your kiddo.
That's awesome.
Thank you so much.
You're very welcome.
You said, what have you been up to?
What's going on with you right now in your world?
Currently, I'm at home.
I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma.
No.
Is it hard?
Is it scary?
It was scary.
It was, well, the way I kind of found out about it was by accident.
So at that point, it was stage two.
So it wasn't as bad as what it could have been.
But I've been going through chemotherapy.
And May 7th is when I had my last PET scan.
And so that will show kind of how much cancer is still there, if there's any there.
And the scan showed that there was nothing there.
But I still have to go through treatment though.
And then also when I found out that I had cancer, found out that I have bells palsy too.
So I don't know if you can tell, like the right side of my face is just temporarily paralyzed.
Really is no telling when that will self-correct itself.
But yeah, since March, I've just been kind of staying at home and I haven't really been able to work because my white cell count is really low and I'm more susceptible to getting sick easier.
So I'm more at risk, especially with COVID and all that stuff.
They want me to stay at home.
And how were you able to stay positive during this?
Like what's some of that been like, if you don't mind sharing some of that?
I don't know.
Well, I have a really awesome group of people.
My family, they have been the people that helped me get through each and every day.
And it's been a blessing, really, to have those people in my life.
Without them, I couldn't have gotten as far as I am now.
For sure.
Yeah.
What is that like?
Like, how much does that influence or affect you, you feel like?
Like, what is like, what are some things that people do that really kind of let you know that you have support?
You know, I've had people text me, you know, single mom, like, I have my son Brent.
You know, does Brent need anything?
Do you need me to pick him up from school?
Do you need to, you know, make dinner for you?
Or is there anything that I can do that can help, you know, your day-to-day?
That's been a really, you know, big help in my life is just knowing that I have people out there that are willing to take time out of their day to help me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's big.
It's so important, people just knowing that other people care about them, you know?
Right, exactly.
It's a big thing.
My friend had Bell's Palsy, dude, actually.
It was pretty.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, not to say it was cool, but I always kind of admired it.
I like things that are a little different.
So I don't think it's cool.
I'm still over it.
It's been like three months, but.
Really?
What does it feel like?
Can you whistle?
No, I can't whistle.
I can't.
It's crazy.
I can barely drink through a straw.
Like, it's just, I don't know.
It's weird.
Does it feel like, does it almost feel like when you're at the dentist, actually, and they kind of give you that stuff?
Wow.
Yeah, it does.
Sometimes, though, like if I use that muscle a lot, it'll kind of tingle a little bit.
Like, it feels like it's wanting to do something, but it just can't.
I don't know.
It's really weird.
I've never had that feeling before.
Oh, yeah.
I've definitely wanted to do things, but not been able to do them.
But dang.
So what about your son?
So he goes to school?
Yeah.
Well, right now he's in like pre-K.
He goes to daycare, but he'll start kindergarten in the fall.
Oh, pre-K is pretty easy, I think.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He's doing good.
Is he?
Yeah.
He's doing real well.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, yeah, we just wanted to say, hey, and let you know we just want to be a part of something positive in your day today.
And your friend Alec really cares about you.
And yeah, we're just going to be cheering you on.
And when do you get that next PET scan?
That I'm not sure.
We're kind of just doing it by ear.
We're just playing it by ear right now.
So I'll go back to the oncologist next Tuesday.
And depending on how my blood level looks and my blood work looks, it'll determine whether or not they will continue with treatment or not.
But my oncologist has to make that call.
But once I'm done with the chemo treatments, they tell me I have treatments left.
And then I'll get another scan, but we'll just have to see.
So it could be soon.
I don't know.
That's cool.
They got them dogs now that could smell cancer, they said, but I don't know if I trust them.
No, I don't know.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, you could just have a damn beef jerky in your pocket.
And next thing you know, you test positive, you know?
Well, I have cats too, so they can probably smell the cat and then mistake you for, you know, the cat.
Yeah, next thing you know, you in treatment and it's just because you a pet owner, you know?
Right, exactly.
Yeah, that seems like a little bit unnecessary.
But well, look, when that bells wears off, you send us a picture of you with a full smile.
How about that?
Awesome.
I sure will.
Thank you so much.
Oh, you bet.
And go do something fun with Brent.
And you have a good day.
We love you.
Thank y'all.
Thank y'all so much.
Yep.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
And there you go right there.
You know, nice to see a young lady staying so positive, man.
That's a thing.
You know, that lady, she's out there.
She got, she can't even do a full smile for her kid right now.
Part of her face is taking the summer off or whatever.
And she's got to do, you know, she's just getting it done.
And that's pretty positive.
Thank you guys for being here with me today.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm upstairs.
If you need me, baby, you know where I'll be.
You know, I'm going to be just keeping on going on.
You know, I did some treadmilling earlier and I saw a damn bluebird this morning.
So I know the Lord's got my bag, baby, and I'm out there.
And I'm out there, baby.
You know that.
And I'm about to roll my quads out with a quad roller.
And really, I got them jostles up in my damn thighs make me damn.
I just feel so damn thoddy.
You know, God.
But thank you everybody for being a part of this episode.
I want to thank our sponsor, Liquid Death.
I want to thank you.
You know, we'll make sure that we have episodes coming up.
Even if I am out of town, we're going to make some this weekend with some neat guests.
Really excited about it.
And yeah, that's all.
You know, be good to yourself.
You know, you deserve it.
And be good to each other, man.
We try.
God, I want to.
You know, I get in a place where I just gotten angry sometimes, and I want to just be better.
I want to be better at it.
And I don't think I'm being hard on myself.
I want to, this is it.
This is the rodeo, dog.
You know?
And I want to freaking know the whole cattle.
You know that.
We had this, this, there's a gentleman, Akira the Don, and he's a music man.
And he made this, he took a piece of a podcast and has made some different things.
And one of them is this right there called I Can't Make You Like Me.
And it's from pieces of old from this past weekend.
And thank you to everybody.
Thank you to those two fellows that met up in a pest-infested living room to fist bump.
Thank you to everybody that's ever been to a hot tub and seen somebody who was pretending to be a child, but was probably an adult masturbate out into the water.
Thank you to everybody who loves people.
And if it's hard for you to love, man, I know how you feel.