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Oct. 6, 2020 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:33:23

E299 Adult Asthma

New Merch https://theovonstore.com This episode is brought to you: Zebra: https://thezebra.com/theo Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/theo Music “Our Time" - Grady Spencer https://bit.ly/OurTime_GradySpencer Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	You know, I was um I was looking at some drawings of uh Native Americans and you know, I realized I couldn't even it's sad to admit, but I couldn't even be Native American.
	And no offense to anybody that's in N.A. No offense to you guys.
	I love your work.
	I've seen, you know, most of what I've seen is drawings, but, you know, I love, but I love y'all's work.
	And I mean that.
	You know, I love all, you know, I respect Native Americans.
	If I, you know, I was born too late in the world.
	If I was born earlier, I probably would have, you know, tried to smooth things over a little bit better whenever, you know, you guys kind of had the falling out with some of the whites, to be honest.
	I would have said, hey, hey, hey, you know, let's figure this out, guys.
	But I think both of you guys are kind of high-tempered.
	It seems like.
	If I'm really honest, if I look back and some of the drawings, it seems, you know, excuse me.
	A little belt or burp.
	I don't know which one is which.
	They're both disgusting.
	I feel like air is just kind of just raping my throat every time it happens.
	Oh.
	I hate that.
	But yeah, again, I want to apologize to any, you know, I know we have some Native American listeners, some NALs basically, or something, you know, we know what I'm talking about.
	We have some Native American listeners.
	I have Native American in me, okay?
	I probably got half a pint.
	Okay, I probably got half a pint.
	I probably got six teaspoons of chippewa or something.
	Daddy's got it in him.
	I can feel it sometimes in the middle of the night.
	You know, I'll hear something outside.
	I'll hear something about 40 paces away.
	And I don't use the term paces very often.
	So that's right then when I know that, I say, oh, that's a very select ounce or two of me that's listening there.
	And that's that Native American in me.
	But yeah, I want to apologize to Native Americans on behalf of kind of some of the ways stuff went down.
	You know, it was just kind of a wild time, I think.
	And, you know, you can't win them all, I guess.
	You know, I don't know what to, how do we shake, you know, merge the past and the future.
	So, I don't know.
	I don't even know what I'm talking about.
	What was I talking about?
	Shit.
	I don't even know, man.
	Oh, my God, dude.
	What a week.
	What a weekend.
	My weekend was great.
	My weekend was tough.
	It was everything.
	You know, it was an everything weekend.
	It was like one of those bagels that have everything on it.
	It just looks like your spice rack just took a, you know, took some bread and just did a damn gangbang on it.
	But, but, yeah.
	So, you know, we do what we can.
	And, um, yeah, let's look, look, let's crack into the episode.
	I think that's the way to do it.
	And I'll just share more.
	You know, just try and share about what's going on.
	Yeah, you know, I need help sometimes.
	I need some help.
	Sometimes I need some help.
	So, you know, and it's hard to say that.
	It's hard to say that I need some help sometimes.
	And sometimes I do.
	Let's get into this episode.
	Here we go.
	You always are the one who keeps us together.
	You always are the one who knows just what we need.
	You always are the one who stays home with the baby.
	You gonna be the one who stays right here with me.
	I've been working.
	I've been working down.
	I've been working as hard as I can.
	Just find some time.
	Get you up.
	We can go and out on the sea.
	Have a little whiskey and wine.
	Baby, you know you're so pretty.
	And I don't know about, but baby, you're on mine.
	This is our time.
	music
	This is our time.
	And that right there, that's Grady Spencer and the work.
	And they're hitting you with that hot tune right there.
	They're upgrading your ear stems right there with that hot tune.
	Grady Spencer and the work, our time is that song.
	That listening piece.
	And we're here.
	We're here.
	We're here.
	We're moving in.
	It's October.
	You know, we're moving in and we're moving forward.
	And, you know, I had a tough weekend, man.
	you know, I don't want to, you know, I've just had a tough, I've just had a tough time recently.
	And I don't like to, you know, it's hard for me sometimes with to not to share how I feel and not sound like I am complaining or like I am not or just having a lot of self-pity.
	And it's hard for me to do.
	You know, it's hard.
	You know, I think it's become tougher sometimes on this podcast to talk sometimes about how I feel because I don't want to complain and I don't want to be seen as a complainer.
	And, you know, it's, you know, it's interesting, you know, as my career has gone on over the past few years and has gotten busier, you know, I start to feel like, oh, well, nobody wants to hear what your problems are if they think that your life is good or that you, you know, here I am getting to live out my dreams.
	And so to then still come back and have a have complaints, have uncomfort, that stuff sounds, I don't know, it's just hard.
	It's hard to share.
	It's hard to, it's scary.
	It's scary to share because I'm like, well, you know, who's who nobody wants to listen to somebody complain that that has, you know, that has, that's like living their dream.
	It just doesn't.
	So it's just been tough, man.
	I just have not been feeling that good, I think, especially about the past six or nine months.
	And I try to talk about it sometimes, but I don't know what's going on.
	You know, I don't know what's going on.
	And so, you know, you just keep showing up.
	And, you know, I just had a moment this past week and I was getting a drink the other night.
	I was going to drink.
	And, you know, I don't know if I have a drinking problem.
	I know that I don't do well.
	Once I get a hold of cocaine, I don't do super great.
	You know, I do not do super great if I am doing cocaine.
	So the other day, you know, I had the shows up in New Jersey with Trevor Wallace, and he's amazing, and it was great.
	And Francis Ellis, beautiful fella, tall fella, too.
	I mean, tall white.
	I mean, if somebody did something to the Native Americans, I'm going to, it was somebody he, you know, probably somebody he knew or in his gene pool.
	You know, if you drink a half cup of out of his gene pool, you could definitely taste a couple Native Americans, you know, losing their land.
	I'll say that.
	But one of the smartest and hardest working guys is Francis Ellis.
	No shortcuts with that fella.
	And so beautiful to, you know, just to see him and spend time with him.
	And Trevor's, you know, I just, I respect both those guys so much.
	And so I was happy to be out there with them.
	And the first show was amazing.
	It was one of my favorite shows ever out there in New Jersey, in the state of New Jersey up there in Northeastern America.
	And then the second show was, it was good.
	It just, it was all over the place, kind of.
	You ever look for something, you just can't find it?
	It was kind of like that a little.
	And that's my perception as well.
	You may have been sitting there and had a great time, but you know, I like it to be just, you know, I always want it to be perfect for everybody.
	And so anyway, I think everybody did have a great time, but anyway, that's just kind of how I felt about them.
	But that day was just rough.
	And I'd, you know, I'd been, I went to the I went to the airport in the morning from Nashville and I flew to the wrong airport in New York.
	And I flew into LaGuardia.
	And that's about an hour and a half away from the venue.
	Whereas Newark was about 40 minutes from the venue.
	So just it would have been a lot easier.
	So I flew into the wrong airport and I had to get an Uber.
	So I took an Uber an hour and whatever it was, hour and 40 minutes, hour and 20 minutes.
	It was a waste.
	And I was just stressed out, man.
	You know, I just really, you know, I've been trying not to drink for a while.
	And I just kind of decided in my head, you know, man, I'm going to drink.
	I'm going to drink when I get to this hotel.
	I'm just going to have myself a damn drink.
	You know, and I don't think, and I've never been the kind of person to just drink and drink and drink.
	I don't like that.
	I don't like, hell, I don't like having to get up and go pee.
	So I don't want to have a bunch of drinks.
	You know, but the reason I don't drink is because I just get worried that then if I get approached with cocaine, you know, or that dust, that jack-jack, then I'm going to be out there, son.
	I'll be out in your garden.
	You know, I'll be out there in your recycling bin with a couple of raccoons, baby, doing dirty, baby, doing dirty works.
	So that's where my mind kind of goes.
	But I just decided, man, you know, I got a hotel room at this place called Oyster Point Hotel because they have the place is kind of, it's a little bit of, it's kind of shitty.
	And I like that.
	It's kind of nice, though.
	It's like shitty nice, you know?
	It's like That.
	Like, you ever been to a funeral, but they got like a thing of mints right by the coffin?
	Like a little snack bowl or whatever, right by the car, like a little, oh, yeah, you know, you know, you know, Keith is dead, but also, you know, have a mint.
	That kind of place.
	So it just had that kind of vibe.
	And anyway, I get there and I thought in my head, well, the whole time I'm riding there, I'm just furious.
	And the guy, oh, the Uber driver kept telling me he had asthma and about his journey with asthma.
	Dude, we got bigger fish to fry in the world right now than somebody having an asthma journey, bro.
	Maybe if you can't breathe well, maybe God don't want you round here.
	Have you thought about that, huh, Puff Puff?
	Maybe if you can't take a hit off the world correctly, maybe the Lord's looking for you.
	So anyway, an hour and a half of listening to, you know, Captain fucking Camp Puff talk about his 65 years, dude with 65, 65 years of lung issues, and he had crosses hanging everywhere in the Uber.
	He had, I mean, there was a cross, there's a cross here.
	You know, at one point, I reached behind my ear and I pulled out a cross.
	Like he had, there was, I don't know if this guy lives, if he had a vampire as an ex-wife.
	I don't know what's going on.
	But the Lord, I mean, I guess the Lord was with us for sure.
	It was an Uber pool because they had, there's no way there weren't a couple of straight-up disciples in the trunk.
	So I'm riding with this dude, Captain Asthma, and he kept pulling.
	Oh, this was the worst part.
	And I'm just thinking, oh, God.
	And I made it up to Black Belt.
	Oh, God.
	I was in Taekwondo for many years as a teen.
	Okay.
	Well, good.
	So what I'm saying is this, that, so I've been thinking about, I was thinking about drinking, I was thinking about drinking, and I'm thinking, okay, when I get to this hotel, they have a nice restaurant there.
	That's one thing.
	It's just, I really love a place that have a nice restaurant, nice place to eat.
	You're sitting looking right out the water.
	Beautiful.
	So you could be eating a fish and taste right where it came from.
	You could be eating a fish right there, having you a little bit of pond carp or whatever.
	You know, North African pond carp or something.
	You gutting down some of that, and you'll see its family member swim right up by the window and look at you.
	Just hit you with that one eye, you know.
	Hey, that's my dad, you know.
	And so I guess I kept romanticizing in my head, okay, I'm going to sit there.
	I'm going to have me some food.
	I'm going to have me some drinks.
	And I'm just going to relax, man.
	And so, you know, anyway, we go, oh, the guy kept having to pull over to breathe fresh air.
	The guy kept having to pull over to breathe fresh air in New Jersey off the turnpike.
	There ain't no fresh air.
	There ain't no fresh air by the turnpike, dude.
	Bring a bag of air from somewhere else.
	Fill up a balloon from damn Kansas or something and get that thing, you know, get that thing trucked in or trained in.
	So we pull over.
	This is the second time we pull over to get fresh air.
	And I'm not sure where it was, some little town.
	And a guy comes up to the car.
	We stop.
	It's literally like we have to stop for a minute.
	And he will, the first time he put his head out the window and the second time he got out of the vehicle to breathe.
	And I'm just, I'm like, it's already, this is a $200 Uber.
	And it was a small car.
	Okay?
	It was small.
	And some of you guys are thinking, well, Theo, you know, you've made some money.
	Why don't you get a nice, get somebody to pay?
	I agree.
	But that's just not who I am.
	I don't, that's not, I don't like to get, I try to be thrifty.
	You know, that's just who I am.
	I don't, you know, that's just who I am.
	It's just in my nature.
	You know, sometimes I don't want to, sometimes I don't want to give myself, you know, the creature comforts.
	I don't want to take care of myself like that.
	And I probably should because then I just get more stressed.
	So anyway, dude, we're out there and a brother, I'll be honest, straight up brother, urban brother, however you want to term it, you know, comes up and starts asking if we want to buy some drugs.
	And the asthma guy, the driver starts asking me, like, it kind of directs him towards me.
	Like, I don't fucking, like, what is going on here?
	I don't, I am, I'm paying to be on this shitty adventure with freaking Billy Badlungs up here who can't handle the world.
	And now I got to tell it, I don't want any drugs.
	The dudes starts looking at two of the crosses if they're for sale.
	Like, dog, we ain't doing this shit right now.
	Like, I'm just, you know, what y'all doing around here?
	We're here because this guy, this guy wants some fucking, this guy wants some fresh air by this railroad tracks and by these Walgreens.
	That's why we're here.
	That's why we're here.
	And just nobody wants to believe you, bro, when you're out there like that.
	So I'm just fearing, and I'm just like, I can't wait to drink now.
	I'm going to drink gasoline.
	I'm thinking of, I'm thinking, I'm going to drink ethanol.
	I'm going to drink, I am going to have someone else do a two, two, three, four, five, eight balls, a 40 ball.
	I'm going to have somebody do at least a 32 ball of cocaine.
	Then I'm going to drink their blood.
	That's where I'm at.
	That's where I'm at.
	I'm not doing super well.
	So we get rid of old dude, you know, and we hit the road and it's the last time.
	And finally we get to the hotel and the lady says, where are you coming from?
	And I said, I just flew in from Tennessee.
	And she goes, well, unfortunately, since you flew in through a high-risk state, you can't access any of our communal areas, which means the restaurant and the gym.
	She goes, however, we are going to open the gym after midnight if you wanted to get into there.
	And I'm like, oh, no, what?
	You know, that's not a real moment.
	But, okay.
	So anyway, so now I'm just furious, man, because the one reason I wanted to stay at this place, you know, and it's expensive place.
	It's $300 a night.
	You know, when they got the toilet in there, like the fraternity house one, the one with the silver handle out the side, you know, where you pull that little, like, it's like a straight handle.
	Like you can see the plumbing coming out of the back.
	Like it's a, it was really nice 30 years ago.
	But the nice thing there is there's the restaurant and the staff too.
	Nothing about the people.
	So anyway, man, so now I'm angry.
	I'm angry, man.
	And I've been angry, man.
	I've been angry for months.
	And I just, I'm angry.
	And I said, well, Kelsey, you know, that was her name.
	I said, Kelsey, I wouldn't do that to you.
	I said, well, could you at least like, you know, she goes, you can order room service.
	And I was like, but the reason I even picked this hotel was because I wanted to eat in the restaurant and I wanted to sit in there and have a drink.
	That's what I wanted.
	I'd romanticize this.
	I want to sit in there and I want to have a damn D-R-I-N-K.
	Okay?
	And I just rode two hours with Captain Cant in Hale over here.
	This beleaguered senior citizen.
	I mean, that guy, there's no way that guy's still alive.
	I mean, this guy was on his last lung, bro.
	So anyway, she said, I'm sorry you can't go in there.
	We can have food delivered to your room.
	So I was upset and I went up to my room.
	And then I ordered food in my room.
	I had about 50 minutes till I had to be at the venue.
	And I ordered the food in my room.
	And I prayed, man, honestly.
	I mean, I just hit my knees and prayed.
	I just said, you know, God, I need some help, man.
	You know, I'm just so angry.
	And I don't know why.
	And I got it.
	And I got in the shower.
	And then the guy brought my food up and the drink I'd ordered a Jack and Diet.
	And it wasn't the drink really that I wanted, but I just, I don't know.
	That's what I ordered.
	And there was something about the fact that I had kind of romanticized the idea, I'm going to drink, but I'm going to drink down in this nice restaurant.
	It's going to be, you know, this look.
	I'm going to be able to look out at the water.
	It's going to be cool.
	I'm going to have the fish.
	His family's going to swim by.
	It's going to be kind of like a part of the Godfather a little bit.
	It's going to be interesting.
	And instead, the fact that I couldn't have the drink there in that place, like once it got to my room, I just didn't want it.
	And so I said, well, if I'm still feeling bad later, I'll have it.
	And I ate my food and went to the shows.
	And that was that.
	So, I mean, I only tell that story just because, you know, I'm trying not to drink.
	And sometimes it's really hard.
	And that was just one of those times.
	I mean, and I don't talk about it that much on here.
	I like to keep that kind of stuff sometimes separate because I don't want to have to, like, every week report on how I'm doing with being sober or feel like I have to.
	You know, because it's my own journey.
	But it was interesting that once it was interesting because then I got this perspective that, oh, well, God's doing for me what I can't do for myself.
	Because if that, if they would have allowed me to go into that restaurant, I wasn't even going to put my bags in my room.
	I was going to go sit in there.
	I hadn't eaten all day.
	I was going to go sit in there.
	I had four cookies on the plane, but I was going to go sit in there.
	And I think, and now I just, here's what I'm saying is I realized at that moment, I was like, oh, I didn't, that if I would, if I, if I would have been able to go in just right into the restaurant, I wasn't even going to take my bags to my room.
	If I would have been able to go right to the restaurant, I was just going to go sit in there and order a drink.
	And I just, you know, I'm just trying not to.
	And I just, I guess I want to tell that story just, I don't know.
	I think, you know, I think God was doing for me what I can't do for myself.
	You know, he's he he and and and at first it was made me so angry, but then I'm like, man, if I would have if that restaurant would have allowed me in, then I would have drank.
	You know?
	I would have drank.
	And anyway, I know, you know, that doesn't matter to some people, but when you're trying not to, and you just got so much anger built up and you don't even know why, it just gets, I don't know, it gets heavy sometimes.
	Elephants are a good sound.
	It just, um, yeah, I don't know.
	And so, yeah, the drink just sat there and it melted and I don't know.
	I'm not saying that I won't, that I'm not going to drink sometime.
	I don't know what I'm going to do, but I just got to get some help.
	I just got to start feeling better.
	And I'm not trying to complain.
	But I just don't feel, I don't feel good.
	You know, and I don't feel good.
	And I want to enjoy my life.
	You know, I want to be able to enjoy my life and be of service to other people.
	And I'm just having a tough time doing that right now because I don't feel great.
	So I'm not trying to complain.
	I'm not trying to have self-pity.
	I'm trying to take action.
	You know, I'm trying to see a new therapist.
	I'm looking at getting a new sponsor through 12-step stuff.
	But yeah, I don't know.
	I just wanted to kind of tell some of that story.
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	I'm not shocked, actually.
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	I'd rather just keep that money.
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	maybe I will you know maybe I will you know I'm actually going to try an appointment with a therapist that I've had before and and then looking at if that's not what I'm feeling then maybe looking at getting a new one but I just have to take action you know that's what I have to do and I'm not ashamed to admit it man I want to be I want to I want to enjoy my life you know you know I'm living out some of my dreams and
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	And that song is called Our Time.
	But yeah, I just haven't been feeling good.
	You know, I just have been feeling a lot of stress.
	And I don't know.
	And I've just been feeling angry.
	And I almost, you know, I almost don't want to say that.
	I almost don't, you know, I don't, because I'm scared, I guess.
	I'm scared of what people are going to think.
	I'm scared of what you're going to think.
	But I don't feel that great.
	And I don't feel that great enough of the time where it's a, you know, it's a recurring, it's something that I have to just, I got to do more.
	Um...
	You know, so I'm going to try.
	I mean, I did some things today.
	You know, I went for a run in the middle of the day.
	I didn't want to, but I did it.
	I'm getting my blood work done, just check to make sure that everything's okay inside of me to make sure, you know, just staying on top of that.
	You know, I'm going to go to an AA meeting later today.
	And just I spoke to some of my, you know, 12-step friends on the phone.
	And I think some of it is just too much of me.
	You know, a lot of my life has, you know, I think something that will help me is doing stuff for other people.
	So I need to try and lean into that a little bit more.
	But I'm just tired.
	I feel every day like I'm fighting something and I don't know what it is.
	I feel every day like I'm fighting something and I don't know what it is.
	And I feel every day like I'm just constantly just pushing, trying to...
	I don't even know what I'm pushing or what I'm pushing against.
	I'm trying to explain it, but that's what I'm trying to feel it and share it at the same time.
	And I'm not trying to have self-pity on myself.
	I'm trying to be active.
	You know, I used to get bummed out for years and I would just lay in bed, man, be sad and sleep definitely helps.
	But I can't do that forever.
	You know, I have to take action in my life.
	I have friends and people that need me.
	And I want to be healthy so I can, you know, I feel like God wants me to be able to be a part of helping people or being a part of people's lives.
	You know, I want to be a part of that river of like comfort in the world and river of like healthiness and stuff.
	And I just can't be a part of it if I'm not feeling good myself.
	So anyway, I'm not going to try and dwell on it too much, but it was just amazing that, man, I wanted that drink, man.
	And that just the simple thing that that lady said, the restaurant is not open to you.
	And I was so angry, but really, that was a higher power saying, hey, you know, let me do for you what you can't do for yourself right now.
	And I did feel like that was pretty powerful.
	So, oh.
	But yeah, I talked a little bit.
	Here, let's get in.
	Let's take a call or two.
	Here we go.
	Let me shut up.
	Sometimes on this podcast, even I feel so bad just talking all the time.
	Because it's always me, you know?
	It's always me.
	Hey, Theo, this is Johnny from New Jersey.
	What's up, Johnny from Jersey, baby?
	And no relation to Jersey Mike's over there.
	And they got the sweaty meat.
	They got the meat that seemed glossy on the outside.
	Like somebody, you know, parked an 84 Chevrolet over the meat for half an hour and left it running.
	And now it's got that slick look on it, gang.
	Just watch this show.
	It was a great time.
	I think you're doing good making people laugh during these hard, rough times.
	I just want to say keep it up, and we all support you here.
	We had a blast over there.
	We were crying laughing.
	And we'll always support you, brother.
	So gang, gang.
	Gang, man.
	Thank you, dude.
	That was real timely, and I appreciate it, man.
	Yeah, I think sometimes I just put all this pressure maybe on myself.
	I don't know.
	Like, if I don't do something right the right way that people aren't going to care anymore.
	And so then it makes me kind of, I think, afraid to, like, do anything.
	You know, if I'm not the right amount of funny or the right amount of serious or the right, I just, you know, I put this impossible.
	And I don't even know if I do it consciously.
	That's the thing.
	It's not like choices I'm making.
	It's like, you know, I think probably when I was young, I felt like if I didn't behave a certain way that people weren't going to care about me.
	That like the care that I received from people was directly correlated to how I behaved.
	And I was only going to be cared about if I behaved in exact way.
	And I could never figure out what that way was.
	So I think, you know, sometimes probably in my life that's why, you know, I've always probably a lot of me has been s searching, you know, this searching for some how do I crack this code?
	How do I get this how do I line what numbers do I have to line up correctly to get the care that I need, you know?
	Um...
	sniff
	But yeah, I think, you know, and I was never good at saying when I needed help.
	I was never good at saying, hey, I need help, you know.
	And it's so funny because even as a child, you know, I was a loud man.
	was always saying something.
	But it was all like...
	The thing I needed to say was just that I need some help.
	I need somebody.
	I need to feel that somebody cares about me.
	That's what I needed when I was young.
	But I had that emotional asthma, man.
	When you think about it, I had that emotional asthma.
	I just, because I just didn't know.
	I just didn't know.
	I didn't know what was going on.
	And I'm not trying to sound whiny.
	You know, I know I keep saying that, but I'm not like, you know, oh man, I don't know.
	Nothing's ever going to be good.
	I'm not feeling that way.
	I'm just trying to feel what feelings are inside of me so I can take some action.
	And some days, man, I just, it's hard to be funny.
	Some days it's hard to just, it's hard, man.
	It's just like I got in here today and I was like, fuck, what am I going to do?
	You know, but then I get this voicemail right here.
	I just want to say keep it up and we all support you here.
	We had a blast over there.
	We were crying, laughing.
	And we'll always support you, brother.
	So gang, gang.
	You know, and that changes the script in me because then I hear, oh, we'll always support you.
	You know, we'll always support you.
	And it's just something, you know, I think it's something that you got to tell your kids when they're young is that, you know, just that you love them no matter what they're doing, no matter what.
	Like, no matter what.
	Because I always felt like everything, every next step of my comfort was dependent upon how I was behaving at that second, at that moment.
	It was all so dependent upon like how whenever my mom got home, how was she feeling, you know?
	It didn't matter how I was feeling, however she was feeling, then that's how the night was going to go.
	You know, a lot of, there just wasn't room for my feelings.
	And so a lot of times I think when I was young, I just didn't have them.
	And so then that's why I have more of them now sometimes because I think, you know, feelings are, they're patient.
	They're real, real patient.
	But at some point, they're trying to leave the bus station.
	So I think some of them, they just, I have them later on and I have them now.
	And yeah, I don't know.
	I'm just trying to think out loud.
	And, you know, because a lot of people have said to me over the years that, you know, you know, Theo, I like when you share what's going on with you because sometimes you say stuff that I can feel.
	And you guys do it to me.
	You know, like this guy right here.
	Hard, rough times.
	I just want to say keep it up and we all support you here.
	We had a blast over there.
	We were crying, laughing.
	And we'll always support you, brother.
	So again, gang.
	Yes, you know, it's just, we got a good group of support here, and I think it's cool, man.
	But thank you again for the nice message, man.
	I really, yeah.
	And I don't know why, you know, this episode, just whatever it is, man, I'm just fucking tired.
	I'm tired of having to like sometimes not just be able to be how I want to be.
	And I know that you guys didn't make it that way.
	I know that sometimes I've made it that way in my own head.
	I know that sometimes just the past like, you know, life, this work got busier the past year and a half.
	You know, I was sitting yesterday talking to somebody and telling them that I went to tour in Europe.
	And man, I hardly have any recollection of it.
	Like, that's, you know, I hardly have any, it just, things are just things just fast, just fast, just, you know, just a lot.
	And it's a blessing.
	That's not what I'm saying.
	I'm just saying that for a guy like me that feels a lot of stuff, it's a lot.
	It's a lot sometimes.
	But the best part, man, I will say the best part, it was such a gift, man, when I showed up over to the show.
	I didn't drink.
	I felt so good about myself.
	I said, man, I don't know how you did it.
	You know, and I called a friend when I was in the car and I even told him on the way there, I said, hey, man, if this Uber driver gets back in the car soon or if he doesn't, I don't know, but I'm drinking.
	You know?
	And he sent me a link to some video and it was some, I don't even know.
	Some damn baseball thing.
	I don't know.
	It was the worst thing ever, but just the fact that I broke up the thought in my head, it just kind of gave weaken that power.
	And then I got to the place and they said, Oh, you can't go in a nice restaurant, you got to eat up in your room by the fraternity toilet.
	Said, damn, I mean, even this show, but this place was old, bro.
	They had old shows on television.
	Like, what the fuck, dog?
	Dude, I turned on Golden Girls.
	A couple of, all, all of them were still alive on the show.
	That's how this thing was old.
	Um, there was a George Bush Sr. advertise, like, vote for George Bush Sr.
	One of the commercials.
	Like, this, everything in there was old.
	It was, and I was angry, but that place has an amazing restaurant.
	And I got up to my room, and here was the crazy part that my room wasn't even facing, like, the water.
	It was just facing like the parking lot.
	And I'm like, if this, good thing it's only four stories, I'd jump out the damn window right now.
	Good thing it's only four stories, and that concrete looks, I could handle that.
	It was not concrete.
	It was asphalt.
	I could live off four stories in asphalt.
	I'll live.
	You can ask any gypsy that.
	I'll live there, dude.
	Kushkur.
	But if I go four stories on the concrete, I'm probably not going to.
	I'm not surviving.
	Oh, shout out to the dude, too, that came out to the late show in the wheelchair, man.
	And he had enabled legs.
	His legs was enabled by a dirt bike.
	A dirt bike just did him dirty.
	And man, he had such a great attitude, man.
	He had such a great attitude, man.
	I really, I just.
	I really, you know, I almost wanted to just cut off one of my damn legs and give it to him.
	And then me and him could just three-legged race around the world together.
	No homo, bro.
	You feel me, dog?
	You stay on your side of the leg.
	I'll stay on my side of the leg at night.
	But, but anyway.
	Well, I guess you couldn't do that.
	I guess if you gave somebody a leg, but then I don't know how that.
	But anyway, yeah, no homo, dude.
	100%, bro.
	But also, dude, yeah, you know, but if somebody is gay, then also yes, homo.
	I don't want anybody to think that I'm not, you know, being cool to gay people or anything.
	So no homo and yes, homo, dog.
	Gang shit.
	What else?
	Here's someone else that came out to the show.
	Let's take a look at more show calls.
	Hey, what's up, Theo?
	This is Steve coming at you currently from the highway leading into Virginia.
	What's up, Steve?
	Out there on the road, baby.
	And I've driven out on the road, and I like to get me a little bit of caramel corn when I'm out there driving or riding, brother.
	Onward.
	Originally from Long Branch, New Jersey.
	You're actually just about five minutes from my hometown over there in Blue Grotto.
	Oh, yeah, we was out there by the dog track.
	And a lot, you know, you could smell, oh, dude, you could smell a damn dachshund from the stage, man.
	could hear the dog track over there.
	People betting on the dog and losing a...
	Because the information, at least if it's a horse, you can get some information.
	You can get a little bit of intel on them.
	But a damn, you know, somebody got, you know, a Wameraner.
	You know, somebody gots a Rottweiler shit zoom mix out there and it's supposed to run in the seventh race.
	You know what I'm saying?
	But it hasn't had lunch.
	Like, you'll just get weird.
	Like, oh yeah.
	You know, Peaky Blinder or whatever the dog's name is or something.
	You know, he hadn't had lunch.
	And that's the kind of intel you get.
	And you're still supposed to lay 20, 30 on a damn dog.
	You know, I took a date out to the dog track over there in Tucson, Arizona one time out there.
	And she hated me.
	That lady hated me.
	She was an older lady.
	And I thought, well, what does an older lady want to do?
	Probably something, you know, advanced, you know?
	So I thought gambling.
	And I took her out there and bet on the dog.
	Bet $6 on this dog.
	You know, $9 on that one, trying to show out a little.
	And I bet $9.
	And both them bitches lost.
	And then that bitch left.
	So you got to take women where they care to good stuff.
	But anyway, sorry, making this about me.
	Onward, Steve?
	God, I missed the show.
	Good and go.
	I've been trying to see you for a couple years now.
	But I'm in the Marine Corps, so, you know, duty calls can't be around.
	But, man, I bet you probably had a great show.
	Trying to see you at some point this year, hopefully, even with all this COVID stuff going on.
	But, you know, I've been going through tough times and relationships and stuff since starting on my career.
	But, hey, man, your stuff on this past weekend and King of the Symphony, that stuff keeps me going, man.
	Makes me laugh.
	And like I said, can't wait to see you on the show sometime.
	Definitely excited for the next special or something.
	Thanks, man.
	Thanks, dude.
	That's sweet of you to say that, man.
	And I can feel that, you know, I can feel you being genuine.
	And yeah, thank you.
	And we do have a new special.
	We're signing a deal with Netflix and it's just paperwork now and to do a special.
	And so that'll be great for that to come out, Steve.
	So you'll be able to see it and share that with your simper phi fellas out there.
	And, you know, I think that's pretty cool, man, to be in the military.
	I think there's one thing I admired when I used to go do some military tours, and I hope to do some again, was just the camaraderie you get to have to be in a group of people and to be able to just joke around.
	And, you know, I know it's grueling a lot of the hours you guys have, and I know you're not where your desired location a lot of times, but, you know, it's so rare, sorry, in life that I find you get to have a group of people around who enjoy one another, especially right now.
	So, man, I'm really, I'm envious in a lot of ways of just you able to have that brotherhood and just people are just, you get to enjoy people.
	That's a delicacy right now.
	A lot of people can enjoy people.
	A lot of people can't, you know, people still can't go see their grandparents, or there's fear around it.
	But, but be well, man, and thank you for the warm message, man.
	And enjoy that.
	Enjoy each other.
	You know, enjoy it, man.
	That's such a it's going to be prehistoric human beings spending time with each other, the way that we're so addicted to Electronica now.
	Let's take another call, Hombert.
	Hey, Theo.
	It's Dar from Trenton, New Jersey.
	So I just got home from your show.
	I went to the 7 o'clock show.
	Hey, Bear.
	And thank you for calling.
	And that's a unique name for a woman.
	But that's how they do it in the Northeast.
	You know, you got more people from Britain, more people, you know, you got that Native American meets kind of, you know, kind of defeated by the white kind of vibe up there.
	So you'll have a kid named Bear.
	You love a kid named, you know, River Branch or whatever.
	You know, Fire, you know, Fire.
	You love a kid named Fire.
	Like, damn, where's Fire, dude?
	I don't know.
	He's got the weed, you know.
	So they got, you know, you'll have unique names.
	Go on, Bear.
	Down there in Ocean Port, New Jersey.
	And, man, it was a great, great, great time.
	And I really needed it because I've just been going through a really batch where I went through a breakup and I went through drinking way too much.
	And now I'm sober.
	And I'm on anti-depressions.
	But besides that, it was great, except there was this bitch, and she just kept screaming for no reason.
	And then the last 15 minutes of your set, she just talked shit about how she was on your podcast before.
	How I was on his podcast before.
	And everyone just wanted her to shut the fuck up.
	So, but besides that, you were great.
	And me and my friends, we had a great time.
	And I really appreciate it.
	And love you, man.
	Love you, too.
	Thank you very much for that, for the nice message.
	And I think there was one lady up at the front that was too loud.
	And she might have been doing drugs.
	I don't know.
	And she had big titties, too.
	I'll be honest with you.
	Two of them.
	And she had them big old titties, man.
	It looked like each one of her titties had been drinking beer.
	It looked like each one of her titties could have been on a bowling team in the 90s.
	You know, she had the big old, she had them long branches, if you will, baby.
	And she was loud.
	I think a lot of times a titty will hold a lot of volume.
	You know, so sometimes if you see somebody with a big titted woman, they'll have earmuffs on or something.
	But yeah, next time I'll do a little bit better job.
	It's hard for me to gauge.
	Here's the hard thing to gauge from the stage if somebody is a heckler or somebody is being obtuse.
	Are they enjoying themselves or are they trying to be seen?
	That's the tough part.
	Because some lady the other night up front laughed like had a really really really weird laugh.
	And I don't know honestly how to handle that.
	I don't, honestly.
	I don't, honestly.
	So it's tough.
	You know, it's tough to know what is a good sound and what isn't a good sound.
	Elephants are a good sound.
	It's tough.
	You just have to, but if it gets a little too much, that's when I say something.
	And also the staff is supposed to do something.
	But you also don't want to interrupt the jokes.
	The second show, there was a drunk guy who was not, he needs to be sober.
	You're probably, you sound okay.
	That guy probably needs to tighten it up because he just was, the show, he made it about him.
	But maybe not.
	Who knows, man?
	But thank you for the warm message, you know, and that's the thing.
	It's just like, sometimes I don't want to drink because I want to be able to be there for somebody if they're having a tough time or something.
	I want to be able to say, hey, man, I'm here and I'm available and I'm of right mind right now so I can be a part of.
	I don't know.
	I just feel like it's hard from a higher power to use me if I am all fucked up on that gas or whatever.
	But that's just me.
	Some people can do a bunch of Coke, you know, and raise a family.
	I'm reading the My Pillow Guys book right now.
	That dude's smoking crack and making pillows.
	So if that ain't, I mean, that sounds like community college.
	So there's ways to do it is what I'm saying.
	But I'm glad y'all came and I'm glad you laughed.
	And I'll tell you this, that first show, I'll put this on anything.
	It might have been the best show I've ever had.
	Man, it just, you know, sometimes I just feel, and that's the crazy part.
	I don't feel bad all that.
	Sometimes I just feel great.
	But this impending feeling, that's what I want to get out of me, you know?
	And I want to let you know, too, man, that we recently got the website redone, TheoVon.com.
	And you can check it out.
	And I'm sorry for just talking about myself a lot on this episode.
	I really am.
	You know.
	But that, you know, it's funny because I just have, I don't know.
	I think sometimes I still have all these things inside of me like I want to say, you know, but I just can't.
	I just don't know what they are.
	Like I have this feeling sometimes like there's like I want to say things in my throat and I just don't Know what they are.
	And sometimes I think, man, well, you're just going to keep talking till you figure it out.
	You know?
	And it's not gay stuff either.
	Some people send me messages, hey, fella, look at this wiener, look at this, thigh, thigh, wiener.
	Nut, wiener, nut, nut.
	And gay men need to quit doing that.
	A lot of gay men sliding in there and in the DMs.
	Hey, hey, hey.
	You want to check out this wiener?
	How heavy is your wiener?
	Some guy asked me.
	How heavy is your wiener?
	Get it together, man.
	Okay?
	A lot of gay men take advantage of the loophole of being gay to make it that they can then be gross towards straight men.
	And that is too much.
	Man, send me a message.
	How heavy is your wiener?
	I'm not scaling my wiener, man, and I'm not telling you, sir, okay, buddy.
	It's you're being nasty.
	So, anyway, I had to say that.
	But what I'm telling you is we got the website redone, Theovon.com.
	And who did it was a company called Modify.
	Just finished the new site.
	The process, no joke, was effortless.
	That's what I like.
	The turnaround was swift.
	I don't have to do anything.
	It was almost like magic.
	It was almost like too good to be true.
	Modify has a new plan that rivals any other option on the web market.
	They provide a subscription-based professional web design service for the cost of your old cable bill.
	That's right.
	For just $249 a month, you will enjoy the relief of creating your new website, easy process, quick turnaround, and an evergreen site.
	And the convenience of having a personal web design team assigned to your account to handle all of your ongoing website needs.
	Modify's plan includes unlimited updates, unlimited support, easy editing tools, and future redesigns, no cost to build, no contract, and they do it all for you, only $249 a month.
	Get yours today at modify, M-O-D-I-P-H-Y.com slash Theo.
	That's Modify.
	M-O-D-I-P-H-Y.com slash T-H-E-O.
	There's no F in Modify.
	These guys don't F around.
	You feel me?
	Gang.
	Modify change is good.
	What else can I tell you about, man?
	You know, and I got to recognize, too, a lot of people are feeling, you know, rough.
	It's a rough time.
	There is a lot of, you know, we don't have the regular things.
	I was talking to Maurice Claret the other day.
	And, man, I really, really admire that guy.
	has so much solution in his brain and in his heart.
	And and and And he was saying, you know, one of the reasons people are all so antsy right now, he thinks, because nobody has anything to do.
	There's no sports to watch.
	There's no outlet.
	The only teams that have been playing this whole time have been political.
	So everybody's getting on one or the other.
	So it's just, it's interesting.
	And I thought about that.
	People have become more fans of politics.
	You know, we've become more fan, it's become without other sports and other things, politics has become the thing to be a fan of.
	I like this quarterback.
	I like this quarterback.
	Oh, the backup quarterbacks, you know, is racist.
	The blackup quarterback's racist.
	You know, it just, there's all, it just, there's, people are becoming fans of politics and becoming activists.
	That's one thing.
	I'm just, dude, we've all, I feel like we've all become such addicts to all of this junk that is then making us be angry about stuff that I don't know if we're really angry about.
	I know that we are concerned about things.
	I know that we have views about things, but I don't know if we're really angry about things.
	So I really question the side effect of just all the snippets and all the information and the constant barrage of information and the effect that has on us.
	You know, it's just, because you start to wonder, well, everybody, like, so many people are activists now.
	Like, what's going on?
	Like, I get being activated.
	But at some point, it's just we're, I feel like we're being taken advantage of.
	You know, at some point, we feel a little bit used by all of the just the media and all the hype.
	And a lot of it's like panic porn.
	You know, my brother's friend coined that phrase, and I don't know his last name.
	I think he's a Latino fella.
	But panic porn, where you just, everybody's getting, we're getting some dopamine hit in our brain by getting off on all of this political and social jack-jack.
	And I made it up to black belt.
	Dang, dude, I'm not sure.
	I don't think so.
	I don't, honestly.
	You know, it's, I mean, what would Riley Mao say?
	He don't know.
	That's what he would say, bro.
	So you got to think about that sometimes, or don't think about it.
	And those are the options.
	But yeah, I just start to wonder, well, if I'm more stressed out than usual, if there's more, what's going on?
	What's causing me to feel this way?
	So let's hear another call or two that came in.
	Here we go.
	Hey, Theo, Riley, this is Way.
	I'm from Ohio, but I live in a little town called Wheeling, West Virginia.
	Oh, yeah, that wheeling feeling, baby.
	And I got offered sex by an aunt and a niece one time over there.
	Adults, both.
	Both of them adults, adult sex offer, okay?
	And I know we've both had that wheeling feeling.
	Yep, and that's pink eye also.
	And it's a dangerous thing.
	You know, if you hold on to that feeling for too long, you're going to end up doing some methamphetamines in the back of a 7-Eleven.
	Amen, baby.
	That's the guarantee.
	Maybe get an STV by the swirling machine.
	But I just wanted to call in, say I'm a huge fan.
	He makes my day a little better every day.
	I'm a coal miner, and I don't know that you've had any coal miners call in.
	But I wanted to say that it's a tough job.
	It's a rewarding job.
	I just wanted to say if there's any questions about coal mining, please reach out.
	I'm a huge fan of the show.
	Thank you for everything.
	Thank you, brother.
	I appreciate it.
	And maybe we do have a question or two about coal mining.
	And if I think of what they are, I'll let you know.
	But right there, you got to think about that.
	Somebody going in the earth and getting something out of the earth, helping it out.
	And that's really, you know, I'm not trying to be racial here, but that man goes into the earth and gets something black and helps it out of the earth.
	So that's pretty cool.
	That's pretty helpful.
	You know, it's just pretty cool to see that.
	You go down there and you come up with a bucket of black, couple of positive, a bucket of positive black, black title, you know, that coal, baby.
	And I love a coal.
	I love a brickette.
	And we actually had a black kid at our school when I was growing up.
	Briquette Lawson.
	And he was beautiful, actually.
	He could have been a male model, actually, but he just wasn't doing all of that shit, man.
	He didn't like a lot of shit like that.
	He liked more just regular shit, McDonald's and shit.
	Let's take another call.
	Here we go.
	Hey, Theo, this is Cole from Texas.
	What?
	And that guy's name is Cole?
	That's baffling.
	That was totally unplanned.
	There you go.
	And right there, you see that wicked web that's out there.
	Onward, brother.
	Thank you, Cole.
	Name after a briquette.
	I'm just calling to see if I can maybe give you a little encouragement.
	I'm kind of in the same boat as you are.
	I just moved to pursue a new career.
	And it's kind of nerve-wracking, really.
	You know, I don't really know anybody here.
	And I'm just trying to get into the group of things in this new foreign environment.
	But I hope you are doing well in your new environment.
	And you and your new buddy Riley Mao are doing all right.
	Elephants are a good sound.
	Can't say I have.
	I have not.
	Well, actually, what is Northeast Arkansas?
	Like, what cities?
	I mean, you know, I'm a Christian, Eagle Scout.
	I mean, you know, I'm a Christian.
	I don't know.
	Eagle Scout.
	Well, you know, thank you for that, man.
	You know, it is.
	I just have to remember that because I wake up each day and there's a question in my head like, why isn't everything perfect?
	You know, there's a, and I'm not even asking the question.
	There's some invisible thing in my head every day that's asking this question, why isn't everything perfect?
	Why isn't this done?
	Do you do this?
	Do you do this?
	And it just, and it's like, I don't even hear it, but I still, it's like it was asked to me decades ago and it still echoes.
	So I think always when I wake up, I immediately just feel like, oh, there's so much I haven't done.
	There's so much I have to do.
	There's not, it's.
	So I got to recognize, I got to, you know, I got to recognize, hey, that voice is not real.
	And while that voice will serve me well sometimes to go and do some things for myself and get me motivated, at some points that voice is just, yeah, it's just, it's just bothering me because it's not going to give me any peace.
	But man, I'm sorry that you're struggling with it, man.
	You know, some things I did do to stay busy?
	I joined the MMA gym.
	I now have four bruised ribs.
	Some guy named Alex or Alexis or something.
	I don't know what his name was.
	Oh, my God, dude.
	This guy, he might have eaten two of my ribs, dude, when I wasn't looking.
	This guy did me.
	He did me up.
	So that is a lot of pain.
	I went and saw Tim Dylan perform two times.
	So that was really great.
	I'm just trying to get some guests onto the podcast, trying to get Morgan Wallen to come in.
	I'm a fan of his music.
	He's a musician, musical man.
	We have a trucker next week coming in.
	Female trucker.
	A Vadrucker, a lot of them people will call it.
	Beautiful lady, decent lady.
	So, yeah, so just, you know, thanks for thinking about me, man.
	You know, and I'm thinking about you, brother.
	And I wish you well in that new environment.
	And just, yeah, it's so funny, man.
	It's like I can offer you suggestion, but it's like I can't hear it for myself.
	Isn't that so crazy?
	It's fascinating, man.
	This thing that we were part of.
	All right, let's hear another call that came in here.
	And sorry to just keep going to calls, but I just, you know, I want to get some of you.
	I just, I'm just tired of listening to myself sometimes.
	Here we go.
	Hey, Theo.
	My name is Chance.
	I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and I'm currently about to, I'm driving through Amarillo, Texas right now.
	I'm headed over to Bentonville, Arkansas for a new job.
	Now, Bentonville, Arkansas, home of the largest Walmart and first Walmart ever.
	So if you're thinking about Walmart, think about Bentonville.
	For a sales job.
	And I'm just kind of taking this huge leap of faith.
	I'm listening to some of your podcasts, and I just got the urge to hit the hotline.
	You know, I'm feeling a lot of feelings right now.
	And, you know, one of them that's really strong is just hope and hope for a better life, hope for, you know, to be successful.
	You know, I'm 23 and I haven't done much with my life.
	I just got sober about almost three years ago.
	So my life has just been getting so big.
	And, you know, I don't know maybe if you have any advice for me, you know, starting something new.
	I know that you've traveled, you know, you made a big change traveling over to California.
	And now you just made another travel, you know, down there to well, thanks for the call, man.
	And not to cut you off, but I did.
	But yeah, you know, I think what you're doing, the long term of it is you can't see it now, but in the future you'll see, wow, just by making moves, it allows you to be less inhibited when you need to make other moves.
	So in the future, when an opportunity comes up, another move or an opportunity to take a leap of faith in love or a leap of faith in friendship or in a different realm even besides employment, that the experience you have had right now, that'll resonate within those other fields.
	And so you might, you won't even know.
	You'll be like, oh, wow, I took a leap of faith here.
	I took a leap of faith there.
	You know, hell, you can become a damn long jumper of faith if you leap enough, man.
	And that sounds like what you're doing.
	So 23, you're trying a new city, and that's a lot, man.
	You know, and I need to be patient with myself.
	You know, I get at home and it gets late and the place is a mess and it's not even my place.
	I'm just renting it.
	And sometimes things just feel like heavy, man.
	And I just need to get some help.
	I need to, when I need help, if I need a therapist, if I need a house cleaner, if I need an assistant, if I need, I just have to get, I got to ask for what I need.
	You know, I never, you know, I was talking to my brother today and, man, I never really ask for what I need.
	I never say, hey, this is what I need.
	I don't say it in relationships.
	I don't say it in friendships.
	I don't put down those, hey, look, this is what I need.
	Because I don't want to be, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to step on any toe.
	I don't want to.
	But it's funny, I just won't put any, you know, hey, this is what I need.
	You know, I need, sometimes I need someone to listen to me and not even tell me anything.
	You know, the other day I was talking to my brother and I was just telling him I've been having a tough time and just, you know, and I'm lucky.
	My brother's worked in like youth therapy and stuff like that.
	And at the end of the call, he said, hey, man, I'll just, if you want, I'll just sit on the line with you for a little bit and not say anything.
	And at first, I was like, nah, man, I'm all right.
	And when I said, all right, I could feel something in my voice, like I felt like I wasn't all right.
	And he said it again.
	He said, no, he said, look, I'm happy to just sit here.
	You know, you don't have to say anything and I don't have to say anything.
	And I'll just be here with you.
	If you need, you know, I can just be here with you.
	And man, I started bawling like literally uncontrollably, like a dragon flew out of my fucking soul.
	Because I think never in my life had anybody just said, hey, I'll be here with you.
	Thank you.
	I'm not going to give you any suggestions.
	I'm not going to give you any.
	I'm not going to give you any.
	I'm just going to be here for you if you need me.
	And it was powerful, man.
	I had no idea in my whole life how much I needed that.
	Just even a moment.
	I mean, it was, you know.
	And then, you know, I was like kind of sobbing.
	And, you know, some of this shit, no homo, bro.
	Some of the shit's kind of, you know, it's tough to say I'm not trying to sound like a little bitch, but I'm trying to sound like, I don't care, whatever, dog.
	If you're still listening, bro, you part bitch the same as I am, son.
	You're probably about 11% bitch, you feel me?
	But and then I was like, oh, thanks, man.
	I'm good.
	I kind of got my composure.
	And then he said, Are you sure?
	And I lied.
	I just said, Yeah, I'm good.
	And I wasn't good.
	I didn't feel.
	I just, and he goes, oh, I can still, you know, he said, I have like 10 minutes.
	I can just sit here with you.
	And man, I just fell apart again.
	You know, no, I just, I don't know.
	I think it just, in just such a world of so much sound and so much constant, constant, constant.
	Just like for somebody to say that they had 10 minutes where they could just be there with me.
	Man, it was real powerful.
	Because I think he was speaking to that kid in me, to that child, you know, that young fellow who just.
	You know, hey, I can sit here with you without any judgment, without any concern, without any, not concern, but with just concern, you know, with just time.
	You know, I can sit here and just.
	And you just know, the only thing you need to know is that I'm here for you.
	No matter what.
	And it was just powerful, man.
	So the hotline, as always, is 985-664-9503.
	I'll be back in with Riley Mao maybe next week.
	We got that female trucker coming in.
	I'm excited about that.
	We're also looking for a, if you know somebody who is a unique death person, a death, like a lifeguard, but at a funeral.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Like a Margit?
	Marget?
	What is it?
	A Margitian?
	A Margitian?
	No.
	Margitian.
	Somebody that like, you know, hey, hey, hey, you know, here's the body.
	You know, that guy, uh, like Howie Mandel, but for like death.
	Mortician.
	If you know somebody of a mortician, do you?
	Not at all.
	If you know somebody that is a decent or a unique mortician, we would like to speak with them.
	You can email us, I think, through the website.
	Or hit up the real Nick Davis.
	And you can let him know.
	Preferably around Nashville or Los Angeles or within a flight distance, you know, somewhere close.
	But, all right, one last call that came in.
	Here we go.
	Hi, Theo.
	I just finished eating a McDonald's breakfast griddle bacon sandwich.
	Oh, dang.
	So you're living high on the hog today, literally.
	Onward, Lil Mama.
	And I really like them.
	I started eating them after I heard the show on Howard's Dern.
	And that was one of my favorite things to get in McDonald's.
	Unfortunately, we can't get it after 10.30 a.m.
	So my next favorite thing at McDonald's is with lettuce fish.
	But I always want lettuce and onions on that sandwich.
	So my question is, what's your favorite fast food spot?
	Well, look, I can't, ma'am, I love you.
	Hey, I'm going to tell you that straight up.
	And I'm here for you.
	And I won't say anything, but I do have to, I can't handle it.
	If you can't eat a damn filet of fish at a McDonald's, you can't eat a fillet of fish at a McDonald, mama.
	That ain't even fish in there.
	You know, that's trans oyster or something they're using.
	You know, they're not using fish meat.
	That ain't damn fish meat.
	You know, they're, you know, that's something else.
	They're doing something nasty.
	Nasty.
	You can't be having a, you know, I can't, if I'm trying to talk to a lady and she have a bite of fillet of fish on her lip.
	Come on.
	Your children can't even love you if you're sitting around with a bite of fillet of fish on your mouth, on your breath.
	Who do you love?
	People can't love you if you eat in filet of fishes, lady.
	They can't love you.
	And they can, but it's just, it's going to be harder.
	It's so hard to love a woman when you see her with it.
	You know, you go in her car and she gots a couple, you know, you open up to get the glove compartment thing to get a lozenge or something for her.
	And a damn filet of fish wrapper freaking rolls out.
	Like a dang tumbleweed.
	It's hard to love somebody that's on them filet of fishes, baby.
	You know that.
	And if you don't, then you know it now.
	Okay, I think we got it.
	We had some calls that came in about Riley Mao, but we'll get to him next week.
	You know, we just had him here this week just in spirits.
	I mean, you know, I'm a Christian.
	I don't.
	You know, and he's a talented man.
	So we'll figure it out.
	We'll figure it out.
	We don't have to figure it all out today.
	That's what I got to remind myself.
	Because we don't have to figure it all out today, and we don't have to figure it all out alone.
	And, you know, I feel a little bit better than when this episode started.
	You know, I'm going to even see if my dang therapist emailed me back.
	I'll check right now.
	Nope.
	Not yet.
	Hmm.
	But there's an AA meeting in five minutes online that I can jump in.
	And as much as I don't want to, I want to go do something else.
	I want to do, I want to, you know, do my bookie bed on the night game.
	I want to do this.
	I want to do that.
	You know, it's probably what I need to do for myself.
	You know, I got to get active in taking care of how I feel.
	Instead of just being reactive to it all the time.
	You know, if I'm going to feel this much as I do, I deserve to have some control over it.
	So, anyway, thank you guys for coming out there in New Jersey.
	Both shows were great.
	I just felt like the early one was more tame.
	The second one, when people was drunk, people was out there drinking each other's blood.
	You know, somebody's out there.
	They had some guy came out with a, you know, we had another guy that came out.
	I guess he had a fake hand or something.
	He'd lost a hand.
	You know, he'd lost a hand.
	He, you know, some guy, he was, maybe he was, you know, throwing dice, you know, and mowing the yard at the same time.
	You know, and he caught a blade.
	But he left his hand there, some guy.
	So that's wild.
	You know, you go home and you can't even, you know, I guess he drove home with just with, you know, instead of 10 and two, just 10, maybe just locked in at 10 or something.
	Unless he just taped his arm to the wheel on the other side at two.
	But that's, you know, some guy woke up, he don't know where his hand is at.
	You know, when they got a bucket of beers, five empty beers and a damn cold hand in there.
	So if that's you, man, call Blue Grotto.
	B-L-U-G-R-O-T-T-O over there by the dog park.
	And you guys, too, I want to say shout out to Joey Diaz and his new podcast.
	You guys got to go check it out.
	It's just starting up Uncle Joey's Joint.
	And it's, you know, I watched some of it and it made me feel good to just kind of share what was going on.
	You know, sometimes I like to be entertaining and sometimes I just, I just want to be.
	And I know you guys don't, you know, I just, it gets in my head as to what's going on, but you guys have always been there for me, man, and I just appreciate it.
	You know, and I love you.
	And I love the group of you.
	You know, I got to meet some of you here and there out in Jersey, a couple quick groups and this and that.
	And, man, I was walking, you know, I was so happy that I didn't drink.
	Like, just because I try not to.
	I'm not saying it's anything bad.
	Look, if you're doing some good Coke, I'll hold the back of your neck, you know, while you do it, bro.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I'll feel your tits while you do a little Coke.
	That's who I am, bro.
	Even if you're a man, bro, if you're a strong man.
	But I'm walking from the venue.
	They had a bouncer guy that would walk you to the back of the stage.
	And we just started talking.
	He's like, yeah, man, I got 23 years of sobriety.
	And I was like, damn, and it was just exciting, you know, and he said his dad had a couple years of sobriety.
	And it was just nice because in that moment, I was, you know, I was towing my line, whatever my line was, you know, and I was, it was just like, oh, okay, good.
	I'm glad I'm here for this just to be here with this moment.
	Because then I could connect with him.
	I said, oh, man, I have six months and almost drank today.
	And I'm just, man, it's just really hard right now.
	And so, yeah, in that moment, there was somebody I could tell that to.
	Because you go just up to a random stranger at the show and you tell him that.
	Well, actually, a lot of the people that come to our show is pretty good.
	But he might be like, oh, dude, where's, have you seen my hand?
	Like, nah.
	You lost your hand, dude.
	That's crazy.
	Fucking.
	You're only going to be able to hitchhike in one direction now, dude.
	Let's go out the way we came in, man.
	Naked and feet first.
	No.
	Let's go out the way we came in.
	Let's go out the way we came in.
	This is Spencer...
	Sorry.
	That sounds good.
	World's been dropping down like the head of a hammer.
	I need some time alone, baby, just you and I. I've been working down for bloody minutes.
	I've been working down to the bomb.
	Well, I've been working hard as I can.
	Just find some time to get you up so we can.
	We can't get away from the music.
	Baby, you know I'm so pretty And I don't know how, but baby, you're mine This is our time My baby, my mama You're my lover too You're my
	baby, my mama Don't want nobody but you We can, we can
	We go and out on the sea Have a little whiskey and wine Come on, let's go baby, I'm taking you out I don't need a plan B you my baby That
	is Grady Spencer and the work if you're taking your lady out play that song for him on the way out When you're leaving the house you're getting ready put that on Put that on for them.
	This is our time, you know you're gonna enjoy it.
	I know some couples came out and and sat at the tables the other night and it was cold at that second show too and uh and just thank you guys man just thank you for being a part of my life man and letting me be a part of yours and I'm excited about where we're heading uh and I'm just trying to take care of myself while we get there baby gang ladies and gentlemen I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things
	like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner the answer may shock you sometimes I'll interview my friends sometimes I won't and as always I'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice messages a lot of people are talking about kite club I've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody else so great hi sweet is it there anyone who doesn't listen to kite club is
	a dodgy bloody wanker jar main I'll take a quarter pot of cheese and a McFlurry sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me anyway first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club third rule like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube yeah and yes don't worry my Brad Pitt impression

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