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Sept. 15, 2020 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:15:53

E296 Taut Baby

Taut Baby New Merch - https://theovonstore.com Everything currently 25% off Theo records his first episode from Nashville. This episode is brought to you by: Blue Chew: https:// BlueChew.com and use code THEO Manscaped: https://Manscaped.com/theo Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/theo Music - Intro: “Time is no Stranger” - Stevie Starlight Itunes: https://music.apple.com/ca/album/time-is-no-stranger/1517002225?i=1517003033 Hit the Hotline : 985-664-9503 Video Hotline: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Time	Text
	Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.
	Gray Block Pizza.
	You know what it is, baby boy.
	Get that hitter.
	Man.
	My neck hurts.
	Oh, my neck hurts.
	Sometimes I feel, you know, like just...
	I feel just like all my emotions and hopes and fears and everything are just thumb wrestling in the back of my neck.
	That's where I keep a lot of tension.
	You know, that's how I, you know, I'm kind of a tension man.
	Some people refer to me as a tension man.
	You know, when I was born, the doctor said, oh, he's taut.
	This baby's real taut.
	You know, you couldn't, you know, wasn't like a super malleable.
	You know, some children, they're real malleable.
	They'll come out foot first, head first.
	They come out, you know, sometimes they'll put a foot out and put it back, you know, they'll hang a foot out and then pull it back in.
	Like they're doing the, you know, the hokey pokey from, you know, from birth.
	You put your left foot into the world, you take your left foot, you know, and then they're shoulder first, lean with it, rock with it, and then fat Joe rolls right out of a womb.
	You know, that's how some babies are.
	But that wasn't me.
	You know, I was, I remember reading and, you know, my mother kept a lot of scripture and everything about my birth and different child memories and stuff like that.
	Even when she didn't have a camera, I remember there were some pages I have a baby book, and my mother would draw a picture of me having a good time or draw a picture of me crying out on the porch.
	But I remember it said in there when I was born, oh, the doctor said he's, you know, 11 pounds, whatever, but he's taut.
	He's real, real.
	This baby is damn real taut, you know, like he just a little well done.
	And that's kind of how I've always been.
	Were you breach birth, Riley?
	I was not.
	All right, man.
	Well, there's different ways to do it.
	Let's get into the episode.
	Lovers laughing in the springtime of the day on my way to see you.
	Crowds of people trying to stay looking at you see the cake and
	ladies and gentlemen right there, that's Stevie Starlight with Time is No Stranger.
	And that's off his new album, Unnaturally Happy.
	And you can go get that album and we'll put a link on there so you can grab that and get that sound inside of you.
	Yeah, I was that taut baby.
	I was that taut baby.
	I've always been that taut baby.
	You know, just taught.
	You know, just, you know, I remember my mother was, my mother's always had, Riley Mao's here.
	How are you today, Riley?
	I'm doing well.
	It's great to be here again.
	Yep, we're having you back, man.
	And, you know, it's a trial basis.
	And I hate to say that, you know, to you like that, but that's life.
	Right, exactly.
	You know, life's a trial basis.
	And how old are you?
	I am 22. Okay.
	So you're 22 years into the trial of life, really?
	True, right.
	And so, yeah, we're going to see and just see how people react to you.
	And, you know, but, you know, we're happy to have you back for an episode and we'll see how people kind of react to you.
	It's great to be back.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Do you have any birth defects or anything like that?
	Can't say I have.
	I mean, I'm a musician, like I said.
	But no, when you were born, were you missing anything?
	Did you have any birth defects?
	Dang, dude, I'm not sure.
	I don't think so.
	Okay.
	So straight up full birth.
	Yeah.
	Wow, must be nice, man.
	That's how it is these days.
	When I was young, I'll tell you this story.
	When I was young, people were born.
	You'd have a buddy missing a, you know, you'd have a buddy missing a clavicle.
	You know, you'd have a friend, you know, it wasn't crazy to shake somebody's hand and only feel four on them.
	You know?
	It was a different time.
	Somebody, people were uneven.
	Right.
	Somebody missing half a Cossacks or half of a damn, you know, have a square occipital, orbital entrance.
	You know, somebody, you know, have a damn square eye.
	It was just different times.
	People had rabies.
	What else?
	They had, people had diseases.
	You know, I grew up, they had this, the tail end of polio.
	You'd see somebody dragging themselves down, you know, dragging, you know, maybe they had a cane or a cane.
	Somebody got them a cane that was too short.
	And so they, you know, somebody out there short caning, just barely might as well just, I mean, look like, you know, might as well just drag themselves.
	If you're short caning, it looks like you're doing damn magic, like you're out there just, you know, is it cosmaticus or whatever.
	But anyway, you never had asthma or anything, huh?
	I have not.
	God, man.
	Living in luxury.
	Living in luxury.
	We're coming out here again.
	This is episode two from the Central East and happy to be here with you today.
	What's going on?
	You know, I've been doing the MMA.
	That's what's really going on, man.
	And my body just feels, I mean, it's so you get in there.
	And yeah, I'm still fighting the women.
	I'm fighting the women.
	And it's, and they are, man.
	I'm glad some of these women weren't my mother because my mother put a good, you know, put a good A whooping on me.
	You know, she beat, I mean, my mother kind of lady, she beat both cheeks.
	She'll make you pull on your pants afterwards to make sure they're both red.
	Not one of these one cheek wonders.
	A lot of these moms.
	They, you know, they get one cheek red and they give up.
	My mom going to burn up both of your little bottom hillsides, baby.
	That's how she was.
	You know, she's a hard worker.
	But, yeah, what was I talking about?
	You know what I was talking about, man by chance?
	You were talking about what's current and you were doing MMA.
	Oh, yeah.
	Thank you.
	So you're in there and you got a man in your lap and you in a man's lap.
	And it's really, I mean, it's just so, it reminds me of monkeys.
	When you see monkeys in a zoo or a penitentiary or something, if you've ever been in one of those, you know, animal prisons in Bali.
	You know, in Bali, they have so many monkeys that a lot of them have gone, they put them in the detention, the bad ones, they put them into detention centers.
	Have you seen any of this, Riley?
	I have.
	Yeah.
	And so when you look at that kind of stuff and you see the bad ones, do you support that kind of thing?
	I mean, they're monkeys.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I support all monkeys, whether they're bad or not.
	Yeah.
	And, well, yeah, I mean, I guess that's one way to do it.
	But for me, if you're already a monkey, that's risque for me.
	And then if you are a bad one, at that point, you know, I'm not trying to take one of God's animals out of commission, but we got to thin the herd a little bit.
	You know, you're a bad monkey and they're having detention centers for you.
	It's too much for me.
	For me, at a certain point, you got to stop the bus.
	But anyway, but yeah, you get out there, you're doing the MMA, and I'm over there, and there's like, you know, people are being really helpful.
	It's definitely, you know, they'll have somebody who'll show you the same move 30 times.
	And I'll be in there for an hour and all I learned was, I can't even explain to you what I learned, like how to roll over.
	Okay.
	You know, it's almost something you would see a strong baby do.
	Everybody's behaving like animals.
	They're behaving like it reminds you when you see the chimpanzees.
	When you see the little, you know, the monk, the monotantos, you know, the crazy monkeys, whatever.
	You know, that's how they're doing.
	Some are sitting on the side just kind of watching.
	A couple of them are rolling around.
	You're grabbing each other's feet and neck.
	You know, that sort of thing.
	And it's wild, man.
	the tips of my fingers are all sore, almost like I've been playing the guitar.
	But the instrument that I'm playing really is...
	It's, you're playing like another person really, but the instrument that I'm playing is, It's almost like I'm playing my own...
	I don't want to say confidence, but I've been...
	I can't really think of it.
	But that's what it is.
	You're just on the grant.
	You're just learning this thing over and over again when you're doing the MMA.
	So have you taken any classes like that, Riley?
	Do you have a extracurricular thing that you do?
	I do.
	I was in Taekwondo for many years as a teen.
	Wow.
	And how did you guys train often or were you under a certain sensei or whatever?
	Yeah, so it's this one location by my house in Anaheim.
	And I would go there almost every day after school and just train constantly.
	And I made it up to Black Belt.
	Damn, really?
	Yeah, that was my top goal.
	Same as Eagle Scout.
	A lot of people don't make it to Eagle Scout.
	I made it to Eagle Scout.
	I made it to Black Belt.
	Now, is there in the Eagle Scouting process, is there a moment where it's like, okay, you guys are all lined up and they say, okay, William, you're going to be an Eagle Scout.
	Teresa, you're going to be one.
	DeAnthony, you're going to be one.
	And then you guys kind of step forward.
	And I kind of picture these other kids, this guy couldn't make whatever he needed, a edible shovel or whatever, the different merit badges.
	couldn't do it.
	And so he has to...
	Honestly, not really a separation, but it's more like, hey, if they don't want to, it's totally their problem.
	They don't have to.
	But I know a lot of people try to get to that point.
	Like at the very beginning, I know they want, that's why they join scouting, because they want to become an Eagle Scout.
	Oh, yeah.
	But later on, once they go through all the hard work and all the merit badges, they're all like, you know, it's too much.
	I give up.
	I have too much on my plate.
	Or I just don't want to do this anymore.
	It's Navy SEALs for fourth graders.
	It's Navy SEALs for fourth graders.
	Right, essentially.
	is everybody cut out to be an Eagle Scout?
	If I want to say yes and no.
	Yes, if they have their mind set to it, then yeah, they can be an Eagle Scout.
	It's not too hard to the point where it's impossible.
	It's always possible.
	You just have to just believe.
	You have to apply yourself.
	And right, apply yourself, work for it.
	Okay.
	And is there a special, was there, is there a finishing, because I'm just wondering, because what I'm picturing is a moment, there's a night somewhere, there's a campfire, there's a tent, and there's like, you know, a man comes in, everybody's wearing kerchiefs, and everybody, which I like that style.
	You know, I like the Eagle Scout style.
	First of all, I like the I like kind of the flair.
	It's almost like Bear Grylls meets TGI Fridays kind of in a weird way.
	You know how they have like a lot of the, you know, the medallions and that?
	Right.
	But what I'm, I just picture that there's a night or by a campfire or something or an extended cab tent where people are saying, you know, I'm going on and you're not, you know, and you're, I'm going into this other tent.
	I'm a, I'm, I'm an Eagle now and you are.
	What, Weeblow is under Eagle?
	No, Webelows is the bridge from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts.
	Okay.
	And that's where you guys lose a lot of people too, huh?
	Right.
	Yeah, because a lot of people, and I've actually lost a lot of friends from the, or not friends, I mean.
	You could say it.
	Well, I mean, they're still my friends, but I've lost them like going from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts because they didn't want to transition on.
	Wow.
	But, I mean, you know, it's totally their choice.
	I mean, they're doing well now.
	I see all them.
	Are they?
	I mean.
	Yeah, you see them on Facebook.
	Do you see them in the field of life?
	Do you see them using the skills that you guys have learned?
	Because that's where it matters, man.
	That's what I'm saying.
	When I was young, you came out of the womb.
	A lot of people had to, you know, you had to boat knot your own damn umbilical cord.
	Right.
	You know, there wasn't a man in there.
	Now they cut your umbilical cord.
	They'll give a, you know, they mail a, you can mail, they got a website.
	They'll mail a piece of it, teach your grandparents, that kind of stuff, you know?
	A little freaking, you know, that utero caviar or whatever they're calling it now.
	And they all get together on a Zoom call and all four of your grandparents eat a, you know, do a shot of, you know, Greek whiskey or whatever and, you know, eat the babies.
	You know, everybody, you know, eat the umbilical cord at the same time.
	You know, there's all these little group chats or whatever.
	But when I was young, it was different.
	That's what I'm trying to tell you, brother.
	Right.
	But that intro song was Stevie Starlight, man.
	That's unnaturally happy.
	And, man, he's been with us since the beginning of this show.
	And he sent me a nice email the other day just checking in.
	Yeah, what's going on, man?
	This past week has been good.
	It's been good.
	It's been, you know, I had some moments where I was really like, you know, what am I doing?
	How am I going to kind of make this work?
	This feels uncomfortable.
	You know, had a day where I didn't want to do anything.
	You know, was really feeling down in the dumps.
	You know, and thankfully I have moments in that day where it's like, okay, just, you know, yeah, maybe half the day hasn't gone well, but let's get the other half.
	Let's salvage this other half of this day and let's go.
	You know, one of the beauties of just the past few years has been meeting guys and being able to come into worlds.
	You know, like, you know, Joe Rogan, you meet Joe Rogan, you get into his universe and know him and you get inspired.
	And then you start, you know, following guys like David Goggins and reading their books and Jocko Willink and Cam Haynes and you start getting, I guess it's like inspirational type of guys.
	You have Dustin Poirier come in and sit down, you know.
	And you just, it's interesting.
	I start to realize that I almost, thankfully, I almost know too many people now who don't give up to give up like for like a full day sometimes.
	If that makes any sense.
	It's just like it's like, oh, if you stack your deck of cards with enough cards that, you know, if you take some of the fives out of your deck and you throw in a couple extra jacks, you know, something with a sword, you throw in a couple extra jokers, you know, a couple extra beefy jokers, you know, some riddler, some juggler using Test 200 or something.
	And now you got a deck of, you know, you got a deck of cards that's a little bit stronger.
	It's a little bit more like inspirational, I guess.
	Yeah, I guess I've just found myself getting more into, you know, I know enough inspirational people almost personally where, yeah, it's interesting.
	It almost makes it harder for me to give up on myself a little bit.
	So I don't know what I'm saying really there, but what I was saying was I was just, yeah, sometimes you have tough times, but I got some calls that were welcoming.
	Oh, a man called me the N-word.
	I'll say that.
	And it was a black man.
	A black man called me the N-word.
	And I just, I just said, hey, man, you know, it's our time, brother.
	That's what I told him.
	I said, it's our time to shine, baby.
	You know, BLM, daddy, we can't be putting each other down.
	So, you know, it was just interesting.
	How do you deal with kind of inverse racism a little bit?
	Have you ever had to deal with anything like this, Riley?
	Sometimes a little with racism, with being Asian and all.
	as a child.
	I mean now never.
	I mean even if I do I kind of laugh it off as a joke because I mean I honestly couldn't care less what people think about that.
	Like I'm not I'm not too sensitive about racism racism to Asians.
	Yeah.
	And Asians handle things differently man.
	Right.
	You guys are really kind of like you guys kind of bob and weave with the racism I feel like.
	Right.
	You know?
	And you know, you guys, you know, you look at Asians, and there's also all different, what I don't like is get specific with the racism.
	These Asians.
	You know, I've said it.
	I've definitely said it.
	I'll be honest with you.
	Oh, yeah.
	Everyone has.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I'm sure you probably said, you know, if people are behaving a certain way, I mean, I stereotype all the time.
	And I like it sometimes.
	It doesn't mean my heart is bad.
	There's such a difference between somebody who's out there sharpening a sword, writing, you know, writing a name on it, like writing a black man's name or a white man's name or an Asian man's name or something on it.
	You know, this sword is for, you know, Ledarius or something.
	You know, it's like, that's crazy.
	But if you're just like, oh man, dude, these Asian people are driving me nuts.
	If say if you're stuck somewhere at a festival or something, like an Asian festival, that's not, is that racism?
	If everybody's Asian at the festival?
	Not really.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And plus, dude, you got to look at I believe that we all are going to be, I believe in beige power.
	That's what I say.
	I believe we are all hurtling towards one color eventually, tone.
	I mean, you and I are probably on the same skin tone.
	Yeah, about, yeah.
	Getting there, closer.
	I mean, we're almost the same damn skin tone, man.
	Right.
	You know, it's also, yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about, but.
	But yeah, the guy called me the N-word.
	I didn't know what to do.
	You know, and honestly, pardon me, I was pretty excited.
	I'll be honest with you.
	You know, I quit using the N-word probably about four years ago when everybody else did.
	Fully.
	I mean, I would never actively, you know, but people would, you know, if I saw it in a.
	Sometimes people would do, you know, like you'd be playing that game of where you draw something out of a hat and you try to act out the movie.
	You know what that game is, Riley?
	Do you ever played that in your town?
	Yeah, charades.
	Yeah, yeah, definitely played charades.
	And are you good at charades?
	No, not at all.
	Oh, wow.
	I wish I was.
	And what I would see was people would write it in there, write in a racial slur or something.
	And so you'd pick it out and you'd start acting it out and you're like, oh, shit, this isn't even a movie.
	You know, this is racism.
	Right.
	So, you know, you'd see that old trick.
	But anyway, but yeah, I just didn't know how to react.
	You know, I didn't know how to react to that.
	And so I just, I figured one day we're all going to be the same thing.
	So I tried to channel that energy from the future and say, hey, man, you know, just accepting that, just, it's our time, baby.
	You know, we're out here, brother.
	That's what I said.
	And I tried to handle it as good as I could, you know?
	Because there's no correct way to handle that kind of thing.
	There's no correct way to handle that kind of thing.
	What else do we have going on, man?
	What else is happening?
	What'd you do this week, Ryl?
	Did you get anything exciting?
	Just been editing some music videos.
	Pretty much it.
	And do you eat?
	What do you like?
	You eat regular meals and everything?
	Right.
	Sometimes.
	I mean, I sometimes like skip breakfast or lunch because I'm just too busy editing.
	I'm too much in the zone.
	Or I'm just, you know, laying back watching TV.
	Now, I find, now this is one thing, and I'll get into a little bit of racial discussion here.
	I find that Asian people are good.
	They are very good at dropping into something and just staying in the pocket.
	You go to some of these, you know, I've been to, I've probably been to maybe seven Asian countries or whatever.
	And you'll go into some of these bank, these buildings where there's just thousands of Asian people playing video games until they die, some of them.
	Like it's just the uncanny ability to drop into something and stay there.
	I've honestly I've haven't really thought about that for, I mean, for being from Asians.
	I've never really thought, I mean, I think that's honestly just like, it could be anybody.
	I have a few friends that are like that, and I mean, they're definitely not Asian.
	They're, you know, they're white.
	But would you be better than them?
	Could you beat them if you guys were in a contest?
	Honestly, it kind of depends.
	I'm not one of those, like, those gamers, like those Asian gamers that you see that are like.
	Right, right, Asian gamers.
	Right, exactly.
	I'm not one of those guys.
	Are you a diehard Asian, would you say, or not?
	And this is just...
	Wow.
	Yep.
	I mean, well, I mean, not in terms of my looks, but of my physical appearance, but like how my mindset works.
	I didn't know you were Asian.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	Well, I am.
	All right, let's take a call right here.
	Hey, Theo, man.
	It's Nathan from Nashville.
	Now, it makes me really excited to hear that you might move down here.
	And I just want to offer perspective.
	Thank you for calling, Nathan.
	I appreciate that, brother.
	Sounds like you're reading.
	Does it sound like he's written this and is reading it?
	Did you pick up on that, Riley?
	Sounds like it, yeah.
	Thank you.
	About a year or so ago, I was kind of obsessed with moving to L.A. in my van with the idea of laying it all on the line for my dream.
	And maybe by doing this, God would, you know, buy the ticket to the dream at the price of The ultimate sacrifice, you know.
	But a lot of my mentors here said they were like, dude, just slow down.
	You're kind of where you need to be.
	And I just want to let you know, man, like, Dashville's changing and growing.
	And if you moved down here, you'd kind of be at the floor, the ground floor of the movement.
	Well, first of all, thank you, man.
	I appreciate this call, young fella.
	And I'll say this, man.
	Definitely is getting a van and driving somewhere apart, is that laying it on the line?
	I guess in a lot of ways it is.
	You know, you definitely, you could easily get fleas.
	You're probably going to at least have a pet at some point.
	I don't trust the person that has the van, but not the pet that lives in it with them.
	That guy I feel like is a little bit more non-murderer.
	You know, because you can't murder, if you have a place, if you have a van, you're not going to bring a person home and murder them with the animal right there.
	Because then there's two degrees of what's going on.
	There's you being murderer and there's the animal watching.
	You know, there's just...
	I'm talking dog.
	A bird doesn't count.
	A cat doesn't even count.
	A cat is just a friggin four-legged bird.
	But when you get that animal, if you get a van with an animal, that guy ain't murdered, you know, that guy will try to screw you probably or do sex with you or give you, you know, and make you a little grilled cheese or something.
	And maybe have you listen to a little bit of widespread panic or something like that.
	And freaking, you know, he'll want you, you know, he'll do some henna tattoos on one of your ass cheeks, but he's not going to murder you.
	But I feel like you get into a van that has no animal in it.
	That's Murder Town right there.
	What do you think, Riley?
	Have you ever had an experience with anything like that?
	I have not, honestly.
	What else is going on, man?
	I'll say this.
	I appreciate the call.
	I appreciate the call you calling and saying that good things are here.
	Things are happening.
	Let's hear a little bit more of whatever you had to say, brother.
	Just to give you an example, my band is a psychedelic gospel funk group.
	And oddly enough, we've been kind of welcomed and embraced.
	And again, just things are moving and changing.
	It's not just.
	Yeah, but one way to get welcomed and embraced if your band does everything, you know, we're a country, you know, we're country Zydeco, emo, drywall.
	Can we play here?
	And it's like, yeah, you know, sure you can.
	You know, as long as you refinish the kitchen, you can play wherever you want.
	Like, if you have so many options to a band, you know, if you're like, oh, we do acoustic, a capello, Jamaican, sort of, it's like kind of like a 6'9 Dixie Chicks mashup.
	Then people are like, they can't say no.
	So I think to challenge yourself, brother, try one type of music.
	Because if you got that Christian disco funk, Trap House, Choppin' Screwed, Paul Wall meets Paul Simon.
	Hell, I don't even know what I'm at that point.
	I might as well just damn, you know, drive my car into a damn amoeba music, into an abandoned record shop.
	But thank you for the sentiment of this call, man.
	And sentiment, when you think of sentiment, it's almost like cinnamon and mint.
	Somebody put them together.
	Let's hear the rest of this.
	And oddly enough, we've been kind of welcomed and embraced.
	And again, just things are moving and changing.
	It's not just country, right?
	And Nashville might not be known for comedy, but man, we could sure use a king down here.
	And, you know, music and comedy go together like peanut butter and jelly, my friend.
	Well, I appreciate it, man.
	I appreciate it, man.
	Music and comedy are interesting.
	You know, a lot of comedians will end up getting into music.
	Riley Mao, do you know that?
	I do know.
	A lot of comedians will get into music.
	You know, Sinbad is a famous kind of black Asian kind of comedian.
	And he does music now.
	He has a band.
	Steve Martin, famous white man.
	You know, he might have been Italian.
	I don't know what he was.
	But he also, he did music.
	He does music now.
	He plays a banjo.
	Jim Brewer does music.
	He does music.
	And he was, you know, he definitely, I mean, he, you know, he barely, he seems like, yeah, you know, he's kind of a rescue kind of man.
	A lot of comedians get into music.
	I think it's because at a certain point sometimes you get, I think it's why anybody does anything or changes it up.
	You know, your voice and your humor become an instrument.
	And then after a while, you're like, I want to play a different instrument.
	You know, I wish I could play the piano.
	I wish I, you know, because your voice and your humor, it's just an instrument that's in you.
	Some people's instrument in them is their voice, you know, to sing.
	Some people is, you know, do, you know, speed, you know, deaf signaling.
	You know, what is that called?
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Riley?
	Hand gestures.
	What's the name of it?
	I think it's deaf signaling, but they have speed competitions now for deaf signaling.
	You know, you'll see, you know, four people are trying to rattle off, you know, half of, you know, flowers for Algernon or something.
	They're just reading it as fast as they can with their hands.
	But everybody has a different, you know, people have a different, playing a different instrument.
	Some people may do bow and arrowing.
	And you just get, sometimes you just tired, you get tired, you know.
	I don't want to do, you know, I don't want to sing.
	I want to try something else.
	I want to try something else.
	So I think that's why a lot of comedians sometimes will get into music eventually because they want to play something else than the instrument they've been playing, which is their sense of humor.
	It's just a refined instrument.
	That's all it is.
	It's just like singing, but it's just a little different.
	I mean, at least four times a day, I think about playing the piano.
	I just, I'd like to play it.
	So, but, but yeah, thank you for the nice call, man.
	And we're actually, I'm going to tell you right now, I will be performing September 26th in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
	And you can get those tickets, theovon.com.
	You can check those out right there.
	And I appreciate the support out there.
	I have men in Iowa.
	I have men over there with the Dark Arts tour over to Iowa.
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	You have a lot of body hair, Rally?
	I don't.
	I would have guessed that, man, honestly.
	Really?
	And I hate to be...
	If I guessed that, you know what I'm saying, kind of?
	Right.
	No, I get it.
	Kind of, yeah, I would think so.
	Because Asians, you can't.
	I mean, you take a razor to an Asian, you barely get a damn, you know, a quarter cup of hair, probably.
	You probably, you know, you'll barely end up with a damn sideburn on the ground if you trim an Asian.
	So they're kind of like, you know, they just, they're not hairy people.
	Are they?
	Are the Yokozunas hairy?
	I don't think so.
	Okay, I'm going to have to look that up, man.
	We got another call that came in, man.
	Let's check it out right here.
	And this man had some nice stuff to say onward.
	What's up, Mr. Vaughn, you beautiful bastard?
	Listening to the latest episode, man, here you're talking about Nashville.
	And if I know anything about that, I would imagine that you're stressing and overthinking it, bro.
	But I think you probably have the core of your fans.
	It's probably some of the most loyal fans in the industry.
	I know that I got nothing but love for you, man.
	And I know that a lot of others do, too.
	It doesn't matter where you go.
	It's the same as Death for Boston, bro.
	We're all here for you.
	It don't matter where you go.
	So know that.
	Knows that your fan base is loyal.
	We're going to follow you everywhere.
	And if you go to Nashville, man, you're so closer to me in the Indie Louisville area.
	So spread your wings, bro.
	This comfort is where we get our greatest achievements at, is when we kind of shake things up a little bit.
	So spread your wings, little birdie.
	Fly.
	Much love, homie.
	Gang, bro.
	Yeah, man.
	You're right, man.
	Leaning into the fear.
	You know, leaning into the fear, man.
	That's a really nice message, man.
	I appreciate you saying that.
	And yeah, you know, I'm really, I am so lucky to have people that care, you know.
	And people remind me all the time, constantly, through this podcast.
	And just nice people that I met.
	And yeah, it never ends, man.
	You know, thanks, man.
	That's nice of you to say, dude.
	Yeah, leaning into that discomfort.
	What's over here?
	It's so hard to sit sometimes with your discomfort.
	It's so hard to sit there and hear the sounds of your truth.
	Are your truths just echoing to you?
	Are your truths just echoing to you?
	Yes.
	Thank you, man.
	Thank you for that.
	That's nice.
	That's a sweet message, man.
	You know, we have a lot of nice people listening to this podcast.
	Riley Mao.
	All right.
	Oh, I remember this, man.
	You know, Halloween is coming up.
	And I remember that, Riley, I wanted to ask you what you thought about that.
	Do you guys practice that?
	What is some of your experience with that?
	Honestly, I don't have an opinion.
	I don't, honestly.
	All right.
	Do you remember ever being costumed as a child?
	Did anybody dress you up and kind of trick you out at different areas for sugar?
	You know what I'm talking about, Halloween.
	But you know what I'm talking about.
	Yes, for sure.
	But have you experienced it?
	Were you costumed up?
	What do you mean by that?
	Did you dress up?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	And what were some of the outfits or different styles or something?
	Oh, man.
	Anything that kind of stands out in your life that you enjoyed?
	I remember I was Spongebob.
	Okay.
	SpongeBob was great.
	I remember I was a three-legged man, and no one could tell which one was the right or was the fake leg.
	So that was pretty funny.
	That's a dirty grandpa's trick right there, too, you know?
	Yeah.
	That sounds fun, though.
	It was really fun.
	I actually enjoyed it.
	I always love Halloween.
	I've been...
	Yes.
	So I've been Elwood Blues.
	Actually, no, I haven't, actually.
	I actually lied about that.
	Yeah, I'm sorry.
	You should watch it.
	But yeah, I used to be Asian Elwood Blues.
	Yes.
	Okay, remember Asian Gym?
	It was like one of the later episodes, or one of the later episodes.
	I didn't watch all of it yet.
	I'm on season one.
	Oh, gotcha.
	Okay.
	Well, it's fantastic.
	There was one episode where he where Jim tried to trick Dwight and have an Asian gym and trying to trick Dwight into being like, no, that's really me.
	I've been here the whole time.
	So I was Asian Jim.
	Oh, I like that.
	I met Jim one night at a club one time.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And he was drinking and chasing women, I remember.
	And really hard up for a little bit of cooch, man, at the time.
	And so was I. And I could see in his eyes just something that I saw in myself, you know.
	And, uh...
	Yeah, just I just remember that.
	But yeah, I remember Halloween was so big when we were young, man.
	Mom would get us out there.
	And man, we would sometimes, you know, like I remember my sister was in like a cast or something one time for something.
	She lost a battle with some ants or something.
	She tried to get artsy with a with a group of wasps and came in second place, you know.
	And so she was in one of those kind of full body soft casts where they really just trying to get that aloe vera on you.
	Where they kind of, they almost have to embalm, you know, like a mummify you with aloe vera strips of lotion and, you know, and wax paper or whatever.
	But I remember we took her around one time.
	We had to take her in like a little wheelbarrow to go get the candy.
	One time we tried to be light.
	We thought light was like the really bright white thing.
	So we covered our bodies with flower and went door to door like that.
	My brother went through a phase, kind of like he would take a mirror and he would like wheel it up to their door.
	And they'd be like, What are you?
	What are you?
	You know, he'd be like, You don't want to look at who you really are.
	You know, he was like a he was just going through a phase, you know, you know, I'm the scariest thing, you know, yourself, you know, your truth.
	Like that kind of Edgar Allan Poe, kind of Benjamin Franklin shit.
	But God, I remember it, dog.
	I remember just going door to door and there was always a lot of pedophiles out.
	There was always a lot of pedophiles out living their life and doing their thing.
	And that was there.
	You'd see them out with no kids.
	You know, dressed up like a pedophile.
	You're like, oh, this is.
	This is interesting.
	So.
	But yeah, man, leaning into the fear.
	I'm going to lean into the fear, man, and lean into the uncomfort.
	You know, I didn't even know about, you know, having Riley back, what it was like and what, you know, we're, you know, just figuring this all out.
	And, you know, even last week, we kind of talked at the end of the episode about, you know, I just like trying something new.
	It's hard to try new things sometimes.
	Why does comfort feel so?
	Man, it's weird because comfort, it's a good thing, right?
	It's a positive word.
	It's a positive feeling.
	But it's such a...
	Too much of it is...
	You know, it's...
	You know what I'm saying, Riley?
	No, exactly.
	I totally get what you're saying.
	Have you been uncomfortable in your life before?
	Oh, many times, for sure.
	Whether it's, you know, just being on stage during one of my band performances.
	Oh, you're in a band.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, I didn't know that.
	I was in.
	You were in band.
	Right, yeah.
	I was in a marching band, concert band, jazz band, pep bands.
	Damn.
	Yeah, I love being in band.
	And what's the heaviest instrument you could carry, you think?
	Actually, I think the heaviest one was I was...
	Right.
	The four or five drums.
	Yeah, I carried that.
	That was really heavy.
	Then again, like, right now I'm 5'5.
	I was like maybe 4'11 or something or like 5 feet.
	And it was tough.
	I'd smoke a blunt to that, man, watching a little, you know, a smaller, unique person of color kind of carry a drum set, dog.
	Right.
	I'd get high out of that.
	I mean, I was the only Asian.
	I was the smallest guy on the team.
	It was tough, but I did it.
	You were fierce almost, really.
	Right.
	And it was actually kind of too heavy to the point where I actually had to move to a different instrument.
	So I went on the smallest bass drum there was.
	You know how there was like different size bass drums in drum line?
	I was the smallest bass drum.
	Oh, wow.
	That beautiful little baby bass, huh?
	Exactly.
	Damn.
	And could you hit it pretty hard with the sticks?
	How many sticks did he get?
	Two.
	One on each side.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Because we had a guy in ours that only got one stick, I remember.
	Really?
	Yeah, because the band was barely funded.
	The band was basically stuff they made in Woodshop that would make a sound.
	So you'd have five or six dudes.
	We had this real, this kid named Brian St. Pierre out there, and he was really like the first kind of black white kid ever, the first white kid ever to act like a black kid, and they'd never seen it before.
	And so he was in mentally handicapped courses and everything, but he, they gave him half a drum.
	You know, and he'd get, he'd get halfway through a song and he'd be fist fighting somebody at the concession stand for a damn airhead or something.
	That kid was really real POS, man.
	Real POS.
	Let's take another call that came in right here, man.
	Hey, my name is Kyle Sickle.
	My phone number is 8499.
	I just called in, actually.
	I live right around Nashville, Tennessee.
	I realized my message was probably a little long, something I wouldn't really listen to.
	I just want to let you guys know, like, reiterate, if you guys are ever around the town, Nick, Theo, you know, any of the Kings and Sting family, like, I got some good places all around Nashville, some families, some property.
	I'd love to show you guys around.
	Show you a good time, really.
	Now, as right now, this guy sounds either like a super nice guy or murderer.
	I like to show you around the property.
	If I'm a woman, if I'm drunk outside of a bar, that's death.
	We got a big private lake.
	Let you guys come fish, catch some big old bass instead of chin's baby bass and really have a good time.
	Hit me up.
	My name is Kyle Sickle around Nashville, Tennessee.
	All right, Kyle.
	Wow.
	I appreciate that, man.
	It's really nice of you, and I will hit you up.
	And I would love to come out there and catch a bass, you know?
	You ever reeled in something big?
	Riley Mel?
	I haven't.
	I mean, I love going fishing.
	I am super bad at it.
	I haven't done it as much.
	I did it when I was in scouts.
	That's when I would always fish with a few of my friends, fellow scouts.
	And do you guys have like a no-man left behind kind of thing like that?
	Like, what is their, what's the mantra?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, man.
	We are always like, we leave no man behind.
	We leave no trace behind.
	That was actually.
	Well, yeah, that was actually our thing, our scout motto.
	Not our motto.
	I forgot what it was called.
	One of our sayings, leave no trace behind.
	Our scout slogan, that's what it is.
	And that basically means like we leave no trash, we leave everything better than how we found it.
	So like if we're at a campsite, you know, if there's a few, you know, pieces of plastic on the ground, you know, we pick it up, throw it out on the way out, leave it better than how we found it.
	Wow, amen, man.
	Yeah, thank you for the fishing offer.
	You know, that's a nice, that's really nice, man.
	And I will hit you up, and I will come fish.
	You know, I appreciate that.
	That'll make me feel more, you know, at home here.
	And getting into the MMA has made me feel more home.
	You know, just going in, just keep going back, even though it's like, yeah, I go in and some of the people recognize me and say, you know, or they're super friendly, but it also makes you feel a little uncomfortable when people, not that they're trying to make you feel uncomfortable, it just, there's just a different, it's like, it's cool, but it's also, it's like, okay, you know, I want to take the class.
	I want to be, when you, I start thinking that they think differently of me.
	And so then I start, it's just in my head, you know.
	So anyway, all, all, all they've been is really welcoming and yeah, just starting to feel a little bit more confident about, like when I was young, I was just so, I just didn't have any confidence, man.
	You know, I just didn't have any, man.
	Who got you in a Taekwondo, Riley?
	I've actually kind of wanted to do it myself.
	I just wanted to learn martial arts.
	Self-starter, they call it.
	Right.
	And I just wanted to.
	From the very beginning, I've always wanted to earn black belt.
	That's the same thing with scouts.
	From the very beginning, joining Cub Scouts, I've always wanted to become an Eagle Scout.
	That was like my thing, and I had to make it.
	So I did the same exact thing for Taekwondo.
	Praise God.
	I loved it.
	I'm glad I did.
	You know, there's something real powerful about having self-control is real powerful.
	Right.
	You know, because I'm the other end of that where I've struggled with, oh, Jesus Christ.
	I've struggled.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	I'll just struggle.
	I've struggled with it.
	You know, I'm short of the, you know, so doing masturbation and that kind of stuff, I really struggle with that.
	You know, it's hard.
	It's hard to do it, man.
	It's hard to not do it.
	That's what I mean.
	So what else are we talking about, man?
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	You know, my fingers are hurting from, I think, becoming a man.
	That's what I'm feeling like.
	And I know that sounds crazy, but, you know, I think I've been to four of these.
	You know, I'm doing MMA.
	And so I've been to four classes now.
	And I know, look, I'm not saying that I know anything.
	I know absolutely nothing.
	But I just, I don't know, it's weird.
	My hands always feel like I don't know what to do with them.
	And then suddenly, just a little, my hands feel like a little bit more like they're going to be okay.
	That's all.
	That's the only little thing I just start to notice that my hands will, they'll be okay.
	Like, I can't explain it.
	It's just, they feel a little more confident.
	That don't mean try me.
	I don't want somebody to, you know, come at me or hit me with a sword or shoot me or nothing or, you know, do something, you know, do anything.
	But yeah, it just feels interesting.
	But that's what they feel.
	It's the same feeling if you've been practicing a guitar and you get those things on your fingers.
	What are they called, Riley?
	Do you know?
	Calluses?
	Yes.
	It's just like that.
	All right.
	I remember one year we got into some racial stuff at Halloween.
	My dad had gotten some cinnamon sticks.
	You know, and somebody, I think maybe like a Cuban person or something, had left them somewhere.
	I don't know.
	Someone got them.
	He got them.
	But, or he might have got them.
	My dad used to go to South America a lot and do some stuff.
	I don't know what he was doing.
	He might have been probably running around in my mind, but I don't know.
	I was, you know, I was a child.
	And anyway, so we were all excited with the cinema sticks.
	So we were like, oh, let's go, let's do Halloweening as cinnamon, cinema sticks, family.
	And so we got everybody out there, dude.
	And this is back When you could do something darker without getting raced out, you know, nowadays I've jump in some yellow paint and run out there, and people say, Oh, you're being hateful to Asian people.
	I jump in red paint, they say, Oh, you're being hateful to Native Americans.
	I jump in, you know, I try to do a little bit of cinnamon sticking as a family, and they say, Oh, you're being hateful, you know, you're being hateful to blacks, black people or black culture.
	And back then, nobody, it wasn't like that.
	People were, you could be a cinnamon stick at Halloween.
	You know, and I remember a day when in America you could be a cinnamon stick at Halloween and not get called out for racial injustice.
	People were like, you hate, you hate, are you being hateful?
	Like, I'm being cinnamon.
	That's all I'm being.
	And every, cinnamon, everybody loves cinnamon.
	You know, and I long for a day like that in this country again.
	You know, I really long for a day like that.
	But the disease, I feel like, is lightening up.
	I feel like people are, I don't know what's going on.
	You know, I don't know.
	I feel like with the disease, COVID, or lung AIDS, some people call it, I can't, I am, I'll just, I am shocked that we shut down the world, but we didn't really know what to do, I think.
	We didn't really know.
	There's no, people can, you can't Monday morning quarterback a pandemic.
	But I feel like we should have let, it seems like people that are highly susceptible should have been given maybe a government stipend, give them something, help them get, stay safe, and let the rest of the world operate.
	That's what I feel like we should have tried to do.
	But one thing about being a free country is sometimes everybody wants to do their own thing.
	And they can.
	You know, they can.
	All right, let's take one or two more calls.
	Here we go.
	Hey, Theo.
	This is Mike Jenner calling.
	Just want to say, hey, man, thanks for all you do.
	I'm a recovering addict.
	Two years sober.
	Over two years sober.
	Gang, man.
	Congratulations, Mike.
	Two years, baby.
	Dosaños, baby, them Spanish years, daddy.
	You got them.
	Off of that methamphetamine.
	Ugh.
	Crazy shit.
	I never did any meth, man.
	And I always wanted to smoke crack, honestly.
	I never did smoke any crack, and I always wanted to know what it was like.
	Have you had a high drug experience, Riley?
	I've not.
	You will know me as the most innocent man.
	I mean, you know, I'm a Christian, Eagle Scout, so I'm like the most innocent guy that you will probably ever meet.
	What's a high stimulant you've been on?
	What's something heavy you've been on?
	I want to say the highest thing would probably be when I got my wisdom teeth pulled out.
	Other than that, I mean...
	On that gas?
	What the hell you on?
	It was gassed you out?
	Yes.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	It was.
	That's crazy.
	There's videos of that where you can watch Asian people getting gassed out.
	Sorry, I'm generalizing.
	There's a lot of unique Japanese videos where they do different artistic stuff with laughing gas.
	Have you seen any of that?
	I have.
	Yes.
	But see, I'm not...
	They're like, you know, they do funny stuff all the time.
	That wasn't me.
	I remember that my arms were up on the seat.
	And I have pictures.
	My mom took pictures of me like that.
	It was funny.
	But other than that, I didn't really do anything funny.
	Like, I was conscious enough to know, like, I saw, I still remember seeing the camera on me.
	I'm like, put that away.
	No.
	I mean, other than that, I didn't really do anything too funny.
	It was an interesting experience, I gotta say.
	Hell yeah, man.
	Yeah, look, man, getting gassed out and doing that and getting your teeth pulled out.
	That's the only thing.
	See, if every time people got high, they had to pull their teeth out.
	That should be the rule.
	People want to do crack.
	You want to do a little bit of mathematics.
	Then they rip a molar.
	They freaking take an incisor out.
	Every time you get gassed up or get blotched out on some Percocets, they pull another tooth.
	And once you're toothless, no more drugs for you.
	That's how it should be done.
	Would you throw out a couple more teeth to get one, you know, to go another round, you think?
	Well, I'm currently getting an implant put in.
	Oh, yeah, boy.
	And I had to, basically, there's this one oral surgeon.
	There's like this tooth that wouldn't come down, so he was trying to pull it down.
	That took about a year and it didn't come down.
	So I went to a different orthodontist, and he was like, no, no, no, it was supposed to go over, then down.
	So then we were like, okay, so we wasted a whole year going down.
	So we tried going over and down, but that wouldn't work after a year later because of the first guy that was trying to pull it down.
	So then they had to end up taking it out and it was like a shark tooth.
	It was really curved.
	It was really weird.
	So then, yeah, so I got it taken out.
	Dorsal.
	Exactly.
	I got it taken out.
	And then now I'm trying to, it's like, I think year five or something of this.
	Something crazy.
	Like, It's been since high school.
	Praise God.
	Trying to get one tooth out of you.
	Yep.
	And so now we are trying to get, or I'm trying to get an implant of where it's, I think.
	So the space is, it was too big for two teeth, but too small for three teeth.
	So I think we're just going to do three small teeth going in.
	Oh, wow.
	So it's going to be interesting for sure.
	Three small teeth, man.
	It's been years of doing this, but it's almost done.
	Hey, everybody's got their Vietnam, baby.
	You know, that's the wild thing, man.
	Let's finish this call up right here.
	But hey, man, just wanted to say shit fucks with your emotions.
	Two years sober, and I'm still feeling the emptiness.
	I'm trying.
	I got a full-time job, a great job.
	I'm a great employee.
	I haven't missed a day of work in over a year and a half.
	I love it.
	I love my job.
	I'm outside all day.
	That saved my life.
	But man, I feel empty, man.
	When I'm not working, I feel empty.
	Yeah, you know, I can really relate to that.
	You know, sometimes I notice I'll get, I just have to keep doing work.
	I can't sit there and not do work.
	Because then it's like if I don't have work, then I'm almost just kind of left with who I am or something.
	So I just lean so heavy into work, man.
	Let's hear more.
	Anyway, people got it worse than I do.
	I know that.
	All I gotta say is gang, gang.
	Gang, bro.
	Congrats on your two years, man.
	And yeah, you know, life is a game.
	It's a survivor's game.
	I mean, it's a survivor's game, man.
	And sometimes it's, you know, sometimes I don't want to take care of myself, really.
	Sometimes I get tired of taking care of myself.
	I just want to let somebody else do it.
	You know, or I just want to, but that's where you pull it up.
	That's where we get, that's where we get G up.
	You know, have a half a Red Bull or something.
	You know, so long as you don't have the right word.
	There's nothing to say sometimes.
	It's just, we just keep battling, man.
	That's it.
	We keep it cruising.
	You know, we do our own thing.
	All right, we got one last call here, man.
	And I want to thank all the callers and 985-664-9503.
	As always, is the hotline.
	You can call and be a part of this show.
	All right, let's take one more call right here.
	Hey, Cio, this is Darren.
	I'm calling from Indiana.
	What's up, Darren?
	Indiana.
	It's Spanish 4. Indiana?
	Indian.
	Oh, Indian.
	I did not know that.
	Yeah.
	I just wanted to say that I really support your move out of the Los Angeles metropolis.
	I've lived there.
	I came from Toronto.
	I lived in Los Angeles.
	Now I'm living in Indiana.
	You know, it's just a whole nother view of America.
	I know you grew up more rural in Louisiana, but man, I think you need to reconnect with that because while you might be scared, the benefits far outweigh the fear.
	You look around and you're like, oh, whoa, what's that?
	That's a blade of grass.
	Oh, whoa, what's that?
	That's a leaf on a tree.
	These are things you forget about when you're in L.A. Just endless.
	There's no way to escape it other than going into the ocean, you know, and then you'll drown.
	Yeah, that's true.
	You know, L.A., it's a never-ending.
	You know, it's a never-ending.
	And look, it's not a move.
	You know, it's a test drive.
	But thank you for the well-wishes, man.
	A lot of well-wish calls came in.
	You know, a lot of people just saying, hey, you know, it's exciting and, you know, stay positive.
	And, you know, I had that trouble last week at big lots and, you know, ran into some issues over there.
	And so, you know, but, you know, I'm just rolling with the punches, man.
	You know, and I'm trying to find things that will connect me.
	Because it's real easy for me to get disconnected.
	You know, it's easy for me to be disconnected, man.
	So I'm trying to find little things to connect me and to just be a part of my own life, man, to stay active in my own life.
	To get up each day and say, all right, this is, you know.
	And if I lose half the day to say, hey, man, let's make a comeback here in the second half.
	You know, we can do it.
	You know, we can do it.
	We just got to keep going.
	That's all we can do.
	Riley Mao, do you think?
	Yes, sir.
	That's all we can do.
	You heard him, ladies and gentlemen.
	Thank you guys for joining us this week.
	I'm going to go out on the same way that we came in, man.
	You know, out here riding into the apocalypse of time with Stevie Starlight.
	Time is no stranger.
	Again, September 26th, I will be in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
	That's outdoors.
	Trying to get back on doing some dates and going to hopefully tip a Netflix special here soon.
	So we want to, I got to do the material.
	I got up for the first time the other night in Nashville, and we'll talk about that next episode, about what that was like.
	I'm going to go back and get up tonight.
	And yeah, just keep going.
	You know, just keep going.
	So, congratulations on the guys that hit a couple years of sobriety and anybody else that's out there struggling.
	And anybody that's struggling in silence.
	Man, it's...
	There's nothing tougher, man, than...
	Than struggling in silence.
	But you can do it, man.
	Woman.
	Everyone.
	Thank you for being here, Riley.
	Thank you for having me on.
	All right, let's go out with a little bit of Stevie Starlight.
	Time is no stranger.
	Lovers laughing in the springtime, the other day.
	On my way to see you.
	Crowds of people trying to stay.
	There's nothing left to see.
	You and me.
	The fire, the gender reveal fire is still burning.
	And shout out to all the firemen and firewomen out there fighting that blaze.
	And I think it's consumed like 70,000 acres or something now.
	And they still don't know if it's a boy or a girl.
	Isn't that crazy?
	Really?
	Wow.
	So.
	Time is no stranger.
	If you're all by yourself.
	This time there's no danger.
	Cause you found someone else.
	You once told me to be patient.
	Love will find its way.
	Wait and see.
	But I waited so frustrated.
	For a day to never come.
	Look what's happened to me.
	This is Stevie Starlight.
	Time is no stranger.
	When you're all by yourself.
	This time.
	This time.
	There's no danger.
	Cause you found someone else.
	We hope when time you late by my side.
	But indeed you've got something to hide.
	Words you say in my life.
	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
	The answer may shock you.
	Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
	Sometimes I won't.
	And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
	You have three new voice messages.
	A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
	I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
	So great.
	Hi, Sui.
	Is it there?
	Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
	John.
	I'll take a quarter pot of cheese and a McFlurry.
	Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
	I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
	Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
	Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
	Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

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