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Sept. 8, 2020 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von
01:27:02
E295 Nashville

Theo records his first episode from Nashville.   New Merch -  https://theovonstore.com  Everything currently 25% off   This episode is brought to you by: Hawthorne: https://Hawthorne.co and use code THEO Raycon: https://BuyRaycon.com/theo  Draft Kings: Download Draft Kings app and use code THEO BetterHelp: https://Bettherhelp.com/THEO    Music -  Intro: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn    Hit the Hotline : 985-664-9503 Video Hotline: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline    Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Time Text
Maybe some type of skin or something.
An animal skin.
So audio is going?
Yep, audio is going.
All right.
We're all good.
We're all good.
Okay.
Let's do it.
And this is going to be the first one here from the Central East out here in Nashville.
From that Central East location.
Good to be here.
On the back end today, I got a local sidekick.
This fella Riley.
Riley Mao.
And you're of age, right?
I am.
Okay, beautiful, man.
Alright, let's get into the episode.
Oh, no.
I'm having me a Diet Coke.
I'm just sitting on your front porch, wondering how could I be so far from my home.
And my mind is somewhere else.
But when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been wrong.
Now I'm just folding on the breeze.
And I feel I'm floating like these leaves.
I must be gonna sound.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind.
Come on, here we go.
Let's go, baby.
It's life.
But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself on my eye shine that light on me There you go.
I'll sit and tell you my stories shine on me and I'll tell you my story I will find a song I will sing just for you.
And that's it right there.
The shine right there.
And you know it because it's the same one every time.
You know, it's almost like a ghost.
You know, it's you, it's there.
You know, a lot of people don't want to admit about ghosts.
You know, these days, people are too busy for ghosts.
You see it a lot.
You see, they're on the go.
You know, people lay in there at night and they're just, you know, they're just, you know, they're busy.
They're on their phones.
They're looking at an app or something.
Looking at a damn whatever.
Fox Hunter or whatever that Robin Hood, the app that's really got all these, you know, millennials out here taking their own lives and investing in damn Amazon or whatever.
Teslas.
You know, SoundCrack or whatever the damn whatever that stock is they're on.
But yeah, people are busy.
Too busy for ghosts.
And you can feel it.
If you really think about it, you can feel the ghosts starting to back up in the ether.
You can feel them, man.
And that's when I get nervous, because when I was young, you'd see a ghost.
You'd hear a ghost.
What is that?
That's a damn ghost over there.
You know, it was easy.
Something, you know, it happened outside.
It happened inside.
What is it?
It's a ghost.
But now people are too busy for ghosts.
And what is the repercussions of that is what I'm wondering.
When the dark side, when the you know, when the ghost, you know, the ghost vestibule or whatever, wherever ghosts are, whenever that damn just gets too backed up because nobody's seeing them.
Because I'd be pit, man, if I'm a ghost and you used to get all, you had all this clout.
And now you're at a, you know, there's a children's sleepover and they don't give a damn.
They don't give a damn.
They're doing the, you know, virtual hula hooping or whatever.
Or TikToking or doing, you know, BLM, the board game.
You know, they just, it's just different times.
But anyway, man, shout out ghost.
I don't even know what I'm talking about.
I'm over here today in I am in Nashville out of the Central East.
This is the Central East studio.
It's coming along.
I'll say that.
This thing is coming along, man.
And you can see it on the YouTube.
It's, you know, I got here about five days ago, got a painter in, found an old man to paint, and he had a little sidekick with him, and that fellow was using drugs, I think.
But not on premises, and I respect that.
And I guess the right amount of drugs.
That's what you want.
You want painters, you want contractors to be using appropriate amounts of drugs.
Because you get a guy who's got, you know, he's too sped up, and next thing you know, he's painted, you know, he's got your bathroom, he's got a flat enamel in your bathroom, but he's also fucking, you know, he's added a demi-gloss or something to your damn, you know, to your Toyota tundra.
And he's got half of that sped, you know, he's spackled all the doors shut because he's gassed up on too much dust.
But you get a man who's just even Steven on the right amount of drugs and he'll damn paint a one bedroom.
And that's what we had here.
So getting it into Nashville, I'm sitting here.
If you're on the YouTube, I got a silent assassin here with me today or semi-silent.
And this is a young fellow named Riley Mao.
And what is Riley short for, bud?
Riley.
Okay, man.
Okay, so nothing.
See, back in the old days, you'd have a longer name, you know?
Rolandro.
You would be, you know, Rolandro or, you know, La Riley or something longer.
And Riley would be short for something.
Right.
Nope.
I'm just Riley.
Okay.
All right.
Beautiful, man.
And you and you are, I don't want to say you are from originally California.
Correct.
But by way of Japan and Hawaii.
I guess so, yeah.
Okay, I guess finally.
Yeah, my grandparents, correct.
Beautiful, man.
Yeah, them beautiful Jaha's, baby.
I love Hawaii.
What island?
I like Maui.
I like Oahu.
I don't like that.
You know, I haven't been to the big one.
I haven't been to, what is it?
The big one.
The big island.
Yeah, it's just called the big island.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
See, yeah, it doesn't even have a name, but I'm not going.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm the kind of guy you name it, I'll show up.
Oh, yeah.
But if it's nameless, man, I'm not, you know.
Right.
I'm not milling around at that.
But we got Riley here off the internet and just happy to have some assistance here in Nashville, man.
Thank you.
Great to be here.
Yeah, thank you very much, brother.
What's been going on?
Let me think about this, man.
So, yeah, I got here to Nashville.
I want to let people know what's going on.
A lot of rumor mills.
Oh, Theo knocked a woman up.
You know, Theo's got it, you know, he's adopting.
They're doing foster children out there.
Rumors.
That's rumors.
You know, rumors are just damn, you know, it's not real information.
It's just bullshit that somebody made up when they were high or something like that.
But the truth is that I'm here and that we're just trying it out.
We got the Central East Studio sprouting.
Okay?
We're bringing in, we're doing unique stuff.
We got people of color.
Okay.
We got Riley Mao in here.
We got guests that are going to come on that are unique.
We're trying to, you know, change the vibe a little and expound.
People say, well, Nashville, what about, well, but 27 hours from Cape Town if you stop in Amsterdam and Qatar.
So it's definitely, it's, you know, we're trying something out.
That's it.
We're trying something out.
There's no other information.
There's no wedding bells.
There's nothing like that.
And have I felt welcome here?
That's what I've been asking myself, really.
A couple new things.
One, I tried the MMA.
So I tried it, man.
And it's basically, it's like full contact DMT, man.
MMA is a real thing.
And a lot of you guys know I've been, you know, I've been trying it out and having different experiences and, you know, just being a fan.
You know, I've been fortunate enough to meet a lot of MMA guys and do that kind of deal.
And so now I'm just trying to check it out.
I went in there and I got, well, they made me fight the women, which was fine.
You know, and I don't like to call them women, but they seem like women.
I'll say that, beautiful ladies.
And they whooped me, man.
And they were straw weight.
One of them was straw weight.
And I guess I'm straw weight.
And I'm scarecrow straw, I think.
That's the kind of straw that's in me.
But I got in there.
It was over at Nashville, MMA.
I hit up Mike Chandler, and he got me squared away over there.
And it was fun, man.
You get in there and you get in the outfit.
You get into the gi and you're just, you know, it's very, I mean, you feel like you could beat anybody in Antifa or any of these proud boys.
You could whip any of their butts.
You get in there.
You just kind of your arms are your weapons, your legs, your feet.
And, yeah, I mean, I had to fight the women.
You know, it was definitely, there was definitely that moment where it was like, okay, I'm excited.
I'm keyed up.
I'm in here.
And then they're like, okay, you know, Barbara's going to, you know, Barbara's going to put you in a leg lock or somebody.
You know, when I was young, if you wanted to know a woman, you had to go, you know, you had to look in her window.
You had to lurk.
You had to be.
Now there's more stalkers.
Everybody's a stalker.
If you go meet somebody in person, you drive past their house or you park in their, you know, in their driveway and have a smoothie or whatever.
You're a criminal.
When I was young, that was flirting kind of.
You'd drive over there and sit outside, say, hey, you know.
Yeah, they were startled, but it was a little more of that primal kind of like, have you ever seen that animal on the nature channel that makes its feathers real big so the other birds will come by?
It was like that.
Gotcha.
It was like that.
So what else happened to me?
Oh, well, I've already run into some issues here locally.
I will say this.
At the parks here, I took a little bit of bread out there.
You know, I took some biscuit out there to the lake to feed to some ducks.
And, you know, me, man, if I'm in a new area, I like to get acclimated with the animals, bro.
I'll pet an animal.
You know, I'll pick a snail up and walk three or four feet and set him down.
You know, save him fucking five days of travel.
That's who I am.
You know, I'll pet a dog.
I'll whistle at a falcon.
I'll fucking, you know, I go out and feed a duck.
I see a duck.
I feed a duck.
And I give a duck bread, right?
But I give him biscuit.
I had breakfast.
They had half a biscuit left.
You know, I'm watching my figure since I'm doing MMA now.
I'm straw weight.
I'm currently female straw weight.
And so next thing, you know, I'm feeding biscuit, man.
And these ducks are fired up.
These ducks are really keyed up.
You could see ducks in the distance looking.
You could see ducks that haven't even been born yet.
You could see a duck peek out of the egg.
You know, just hearing that there's a kind of a new boss man in town.
You know, a new fucking yeast Santa.
You know, I'm out there delivering goods.
So I'm feeding.
I'm got, you know, I got half of a nice biscuit.
And this is an expensive biscuit.
It's probably a $2.5 biscuit.
So we're looking at $1.25 worth of biscuit bread.
I'm out there feeding these bastards over there at Perennial Lake or whatever it's called, Perennium Lake, by the vestibule or something.
So anyway, I'm feeding them.
Next thing you know, I started getting, I put on my Instagram story, I started getting DMs, people angry.
You can't give them bread.
You can't give them bread, you know.
They'll die.
You know, they'll, oh, this is what they said.
Oh, if you give them bread, they get too jacked up on energy and they will rape each other.
Look, man, I'm not doing all of that.
I took a half a biscuit and went out there to treat these animals to get acclimated to the area.
If somebody else, if they're doing all of it, you know, I'm not doing part of sexual abuse for animals.
I'm not doing any of this.
If they don't want bread, they just shouldn't come eat it.
That's not on me.
People attacking me.
You're going to hell, bread boy.
And then sending me two caskets and a picture of a duck.
Emojis, man.
That's Mother Nature, man.
If there's a glitch in her pattern, she will work it out.
And these ducks look like they wanted the bread.
That's the thing.
You know, it's like, oh, they can't digest it.
They will rape each other.
Well, look, man, I didn't come to town to be part of that.
You know, I'm not doing no sex trafficking.
I'm not doing that kind of stuff.
I'm not doing, you know, I came here.
I just, you know, I'm trying to get acclimated to the area.
You know, when I was a child, ducks would eat bread.
Have you ever given bread to a duck, Riley?
I have.
And did you, I mean, what are you, or, you know, it's a lot of the youngsters getting at me, a lot of millennials coming at me.
You know, do you know any of this information?
I don't.
When I was back in California, where I'm originally from, I live around what's called East Lake Village, and there's always a whole bunch of ducks in the lake all the time.
I would always, as a kid, go out there and feed the ducks.
That's what I would do in my childhood.
It was just a big thing that everyone in the community did.
It's a piece of culture, I feel like, right?
I feel like it's a piece of youth culture.
It is.
And I feel like that stretches over all cultures, too.
I feel like if you were black, white, Malaysian, whatever, feeding a bread to a duck is normal.
Right.
I've seen literally anybody I could imagine doing it.
Right, exactly.
Amen.
So anyway, right out of the gate, they're jumping on me.
You know, you're bad.
What are you doing?
Take your bread back to California.
And then they would call me the F-word, F-A-G.
You know, just like, come on, man.
You know, it's just, it's like you can't do anything these days without somebody jumping down your throat and opening up a damn kitchenette, you know, full of mostly knives.
It's just that kind of place, man.
That kind of vibe.
Not the place here in Nashville.
I'm just saying that kind of vibe in the world sometimes.
What else happened?
Oh, I got to announce this.
I am going to be doing some live shows.
You know, I'm a performer.
Riley Mao.
I do performing.
I do stand-up.
I do, I'm an artist, I guess you would say.
I wouldn't say artist, but, you know, I do comedy.
And so I'm going to be doing live shows.
So I'm just letting them know that.
Thank you.
I'm going to be performing in Dubuque and Des Moines.
That's going to be September 25th and 26th, I believe.
And that's all going to go on sale on Wednesday of this week or Tuesday.
Probably Wednesday, I think.
And you can see it on the IG.
You can see it online on socials.
And those are going to be outdoor shows.
Those are going to be different outdoor shows.
And we're going to just see how that goes.
I'm going to experience it.
I'm just going to lean into it.
What else?
I hope everybody had a wonderful Labor Day.
You know, I hope, you know, it's a weird year for Labor Day because a lot of people haven't had work.
But a lot of people are getting back to work.
That's one thing I'm noticing.
People are getting back to work.
You know, a few weeks ago, I felt like with the virus, it was like people were pretending.
Like we all started to kind of pretend.
And now I feel like people are just like, you know what?
I'm going to work.
And for the most part, people seem to be doing okay.
Except for this freaking lady, this FL who works out at big lots.
I'll say this.
Now, we support a lot of small businesses, big businesses.
You know, from time to time, we'll even sell you some bullshit on here against our own knowledge.
You know, I've read ads for something, and the next thing you know, I get it, and I'm like, damn.
You know?
Like a hammock with a hot tub in it.
Just, you know, sometimes people are just selling a real piece of shit.
Excuse my language, man.
Excuse my language also, Riley.
Not a problem.
Okay, do you, where you're from, do you guys use a lot of profanity or what is it like over there?
So I am a Christian and an Eagle Scout.
I don't do swearing at all.
Okay.
That's just not me.
But I mean, hey, I don't judge.
Okay.
Well, you can judge me.
I'm going to let you know that.
Awesome.
You can judge me up until the point that I'm willing to accept it.
And then I'm going to try to use less of it around you then.
All right.
I might write some of the words down and show you some of the ones in advance that I'm going to use from now on.
I just don't want there to be not fair communication.
Sure.
Okay.
Cool, man.
Thank you.
Well, I will tell you this, though.
If you want to go to Big Lots, it is a real H-E-L-L of a store.
Okay, if you want to go to Big Lots Mercantile, you roll in there, they don't even know what they're selling anymore.
You know, they had a 180-ounce coffee pot in the front.
What?
And it came with the maker, the coffee maker looked like a damn washing machine.
You know, it just like, you would need half a family to even tip the thing over and pour a cup or a bucket.
You know, I guess it's for, you know, that kind of that groupthink mentality or whatever.
But anyway, I'm in there.
I'm looking for stuff.
You know.
Excuse me, a little bit of my chest is acting up.
I'm having a Diet Coke.
It's just a mini.
It's 7.5 ounces.
So anyway, I'm at the big lots, and I'm trying to get a few things, and I don't want to be there.
I wish I'd have walked into a Target, but I'd been driving, and I was wearing shoes with no socks, and my feet were real sweaty, and I was angry.
I started to get angry.
I hadn't eaten breakfast, and it was about 1.30.
And I just couldn't handle myself anymore.
And I was just angry.
And the car, I got a rental car, it keeps gearing into S. And I don't know what that is.
You know, I've seen the regulars, you know, N, D, P, R. And this one, every time you try to go to D, it ends up in S. And I just don't know what's going on.
And just, I was just furious, man.
So I parked in a dang, you know, when I get angry where I'm from, if men get upset, they would drive over to a Winn-Dixie, which was a chain grocer, and they would park in the lot.
Sometimes you'd see them crying over there or, you know, looking at pornography, pleasuring themselves, all kinds of stuff.
But it was kind of like a place where men would escape.
They'd park their truck behind the Winn-Dixie in the parking lot, and then they would just, you know, almost release whatever they had to do, whether it was sexual or emotional.
You'd see somebody crying so hard, they'd open the truck of their door to let the tears all out, you know, like they were vomiting.
And now, so anyway, so that flares up in me sometimes.
So that's what happened.
You know, I pull over there.
I haven't eaten.
And I was trying to eat healthy.
That was my goal for the day.
And all I can think about is a damn Wendy's, you know, Junior, whatever it is.
Whatever killed Dave Thomas, his favorite one, that one, the good one.
So I'm thinking about that.
And I don't have socks on in my shoes.
And I don't care in the beginning of the day if I wear socks without shoes.
I think it's kind of stylish.
But halfway through the day, your feet get sweaty.
And then I can feel myself ruining my shoes.
And these were nice shoes.
They were a gift from someone.
So I'm just losing it.
And I'll just say, look, man, I just, I got to get a few things.
I'm going to go into a place called Big Lots.
So I go in.
I got me a few items.
I get to the register.
Oh, no.
First, when I went in, the lady immediately pulls me over to sign up for a $5 gift card, right?
Now, I'm going to be...
And you can be totally honest.
You look very successful.
Really?
Just the way that you present your presentation.
Wow, present your presentation.
The way you just act on camera, the way that you show what you do.
Okay.
Okay, good.
Thank you.
Good to hear the millennial perspective.
And what I'm saying is this, man, that I'm happy to be a part of everything.
I want to be a part of society.
I want to be a regular man.
I do not need to spend 12 minutes getting a $5 off coupon.
Okay?
This lady couldn't figure out the machine, and I wanted to leave.
I wanted to go.
I wanted to get the few things.
I was already angry.
I wanted that McBacon Doubler or whatever.
I had sweat in my shoes.
I was sad.
I was just disappointed.
I just wanted to be behind the damn Winn-Dixie.
And I'd honestly masturbated a couple nights in a row.
I don't like to, this is something I probably shouldn't tell you since we don't even know each other and who knows if we're even going to work together, Riley Mao, but I do not prefer to masturbate.
It doesn't make me feel good.
So I do it sometimes as a, I don't want to do it.
So just letting you know that so you know what I'm referencing when I say that.
But anyway, so I didn't want to do it.
And anyway, so next thing you know, I'm at Big Lots.
I get the dang thing.
It's five minutes.
But the whole time she's having me fill out this form and stuff and get the gift card.
And I don't want to be at Big Lots.
I don't want to be at Big Lots, dude.
I parked there because I was not feeling good and I went inside.
At a certain point, you just, you know, I figured, you know, they have maybe a protein bar.
I need to see about getting a desk for the studio.
You know, maybe they'll have some things.
But I get in, the first thing you see, they got a 180, you know, 85-ounce damn coffee pot.
And there's a kid shooting a basketball into it.
I'm just like, this store makes no sense.
You know, they got the world's largest pillow or something.
It's like 8 feet by 8 feet.
Where are you going to use it?
There's no place for that.
So anyway, there's just a lot of stuff in there that you don't need.
And that's why they're going out of business.
Well, anyway, the lady, the lady Keeps asking me if I'm wearing cologne.
I'm not wearing any cologne, right?
And she won't take no for an answer, not being real, real cool.
Anyway, anyway, I walk around there, and uh, and it just nothing makes any sense.
They'll have like a um a thing of Cheetos, like a literally like a burlap bag full of Cheetos, and then right next to it, they'll have like an aquarium, and then they'll have one of those fountains, like a fake stone fountain where the little guy is urinating into the bird bath.
You know what I'm talking about, Riley?
You ever seen those or not?
I've seen them everywhere.
You have?
I have.
Okay.
And when you see that, what do you feel like?
What is that?
What is that?
Is that cool?
Is that lame?
What is it?
I mean, I just don't really...
I just see it and I just disregard it.
I mean, I couldn't care less, honestly.
Okay.
And there you go.
That's the young perspective.
They don't care.
And it's fine.
I'm not judging you or anything.
I'm just, when I was young, when they came out with the bird bath baby that would urinate the little sherub or whatever, the little angel boy, and he's urinating into the bird bath.
Oh, dude, it was like, that was our 4K.
You know, that was our Vietnam.
It was so exciting.
No one had ever seen it.
A bird bath had just been a place where birds would come to bathe and kind of go on about their business.
And now suddenly it was this, you know, there was a stone baby and he's urinating.
It was just more exciting.
So anyway, but anyway, this is all besides the point.
So here's what happened is I get some stuff that I do not want and I'm buying out of sheer anger.
I'm wandering around the store.
I'm just, I'm not well.
Every other aisle has sandals in it.
It's just like, what is going on here?
What is going on here?
It's basically like a trap house for, it's almost like a halfway house for shit that should be at Target.
It's like, oh, here's a lawn chair that got, that was doing heroin.
You know, here's a, oh, here's a swing set that they caught with a couple grams of coat.
You know, it's just everything there kind of, it's like it's all part of a big Foster family or something, and nobody's paying the rent.
That's what Big Lots is, if you haven't been to Big Lots.
So anyway, I'm leaving.
I'm at the end of my rope and at the end of my journey in there.
And I did, I will be honest, I ate two protein bars in there that I paid for one of them.
I'll be honest with you.
I don't want to lie to you, Riley.
I paid for one of them.
You know, and in your culture, do people lie a lot?
Is there a lot of dishonor in lying?
Yeah, there's a lot of lying.
I mean, a lot of it could be, I mean, there's plenty of examples.
Lying could entail, what was I going to say?
Keeping surprises.
I see.
That's one of them.
Another one could be, I mean, just flat out lying because they don't want to maybe hurt someone.
It honestly depends.
But yeah, lying is a big thing.
It just honestly depends on what the lying is about.
Okay.
And in your grandparents' culture, do you notice anything different between your grandparents' culture and your parents' culture as opposed to lying?
I'm just trying to get to the root.
I know your family has deeper roots in the universe probably than mine.
So I'm just trying to establish, do they care more about lying?
Do you feel like?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, I feel that.
There you go.
Thank you.
So what I'm saying is this, I'm at Big Lots.
I'm leaving.
And the lady, I get up to the register.
And I'll say this.
The lady was not nice.
I tried to be cool.
I said, hello.
How are you doing?
No response.
Zero response.
And I'm already not doing well.
Okay?
I'm already not doing well.
Okay?
I have 200 feet of telephone cable in my buggy.
I have shit I do not need in there.
Okay?
I got a 60-pack of baby Ruth minis.
I don't want any of this.
I want to get out of the store.
And I already feel compromised.
I've got the $5 coupon.
I've already spent the time getting it.
I feel like I at least need to use it.
I did get two throw pillows that aren't that bad.
Anyway, the lady, not being nice, very Rubin-esque woman, okay?
And I'm not striking low here.
I'm just saying she wasn't cool.
And her name tag said Largishe on it.
Now, if you're going to have a child, we all probably have, you know, I don't have children.
You have children?
As of now, now, I'm only 22. Okay.
Well, you're going to have them probably.
Or you could probably still be adopted if you wanted to be.
But what I'm telling you, man, is that if you have a child and you don't name it something that you don't have a child that could be big and name it Largesh.
Okay?
And the lady's giving me a hard time.
And I don't know if it was Indian or Native American.
But Largesh was not happy.
She put all of my stuff I bought into one bag.
Okay?
Okay, Riley?
Wow, that's crazy.
Yes.
Yes.
Like I'm Santa Claus or something, right?
Like everything into one sack.
And she can tell if she would have looked in my eyes, she would know I'm not doing, I wasn't doing very well.
So, anyway, man, it just was a rough welcome.
It was a rough welcome here.
You know, it was a really, really rough welcome between Large being a real piece.
Just not, just not cool.
You know?
And I even, when I left, I didn't look at her name tag immediately, and then I was like, oh, well, I just try to be nice.
You try to one-up them at the end and still be nice, you know?
And I said, oh, thank you very much.
And then I looked at the tag and I could barely get the largish.
It just, because it almost seemed like I was making fun of her because she was a larger woman.
You know?
Like, if you have a daughter and you're, say if you're, if you are Ruben-esque, you're tall, you know.
I'm just saying, if you and your wife or spouse have some physical attributes, if both y'all are bigger people, you're not going to name your son Fat Randall.
You know?
It's not going to behoove him.
You know?
You're not going to name your boy little Big Rounder.
You know?
Or Marble Daddy.
Or Gravity Junkie.
You know, you're not going to name your kid things.
So, anyway, but Largesh was a real bitch.
And I'm sorry to say that.
I know you're in here.
And I shouldn't have said it again.
Go for it.
I know you do, though.
And I just don't want things to get out of control.
So, anyway, but yeah, I'm here in Nashville, man.
I'm excited.
I did, oh, I'll tell you what happened.
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I'm not a big fan.
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Oh.
Now, Riley, do you ever donated blood?
I have.
There you go, man.
That's what I'm talking about, man.
And so you don't see a lot of that.
You know, you youngsters don't know what it's like, man.
When I was growing up, blood, you know, now there's tons of blood.
Now you drive down the highway, you'll see blood on the damn side of the road.
But when I was young, blood was a real commodity.
You know, when I was growing up, blood was a, there just wasn't as much blood, man.
You'd have a friend that have eight pints in them.
You know, and the requirement is nine.
You'd have a friend, you'd shake his hand, and it would feel like almost like a beanbag chair.
Because you'd be a little light on blood, you know.
But now everybody's got blood and it's just...
You kids are real spoiled.
All right, man, let's get into a little bit more what happened, dude.
And I want to say, I don't usually get angry, but man, Largesh, you got to G up, boo.
Because that attitude ain't going to help you.
You know, and then packing my bag like I'm Santa, bruh.
Dude, I had to walk out of Big Lots with two hands.
Two hands on the thing in my bag.
Walking out of there.
Are you paying attention, Riley?
I am indeed.
Okay.
Just seem like you're not, but that's all right.
Oh, no, I definitely am.
Okay, thank you, brother.
I do not believe you, but I do appreciate that.
All right, let's get into a call right here.
Now, Riley, what we do on this show is calls come in sometimes.
You know, and a lot of people are like, why is Riley in here?
Why is he in the room?
It's usually a solo episode.
And I don't know the answer.
You know, I just, I don't know the answer.
You know, I was nervous.
I'm in a new place.
We're trying something new by just being in a new place.
Nick isn't here.
Nick came here for a few days.
He seemed a little stoned when he showed up.
Best judgment.
Is that judgment, Riley?
I don't think it is.
Thanks.
But Nick will think it is, though.
I do know that.
So let's get to your calls.
I want to say thank you always.
The hotline is 985-664-9503.
Ooh, I saw Leon Bridges last night.
You familiar with him?
I am.
Yeah.
I saw him.
I saw him playing music, man.
And that's really a beauty right there of Nashville.
That's a beauty of Nashville, man.
You are somewhere and a piece of magic shows up.
And I mean, if you have not seen Leon Bridges, then I just don't even know what's wrong with you.
You might have eight pints of blood in your body.
The man is just, I mean, he just, oh, I felt like I went to church.
I felt like I got married.
I felt like I got buried.
I felt like I learned to cook.
I felt like I had just bought, you know, five fresh scratchers all at once.
I mean, it's just like, it's almost like you opened up your ears and he's just over there just scooping sugar into them.
You know?
And he got that sound axe, baby.
He got that freaking loud hammer, baby, that geta.
And he's just serving, bro.
He's just agaveing you up.
And you just leave out of there filled with sweet, man.
And he showed up and played the hits.
And I'm talking about Leon Bridges.
So if anything is going to get you over troubled water, you know what it is, baby.
Leon Bridges, man.
As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503.
Let's take a listen right here.
Hey, Theo.
This is Alex from Kansas.
Thank you for calling, Alex, and I appreciate it over there in Kansas.
And if you say Kansas backwards, it spells SASNAC.
Let's hear more, brother.
My wife and I have had like a lot of animals we love kind of, I, My wife and I have had a lot of animals with Upcom on a small farm.
and I have an eight year old daughter and we tell us like a lot of animals die.
'Cause we'll have like unorthodox stuff, Like chickens and lizards and fish and outdoor cats and some like chicken chillas and just some weird stuff.
It'll be a great experience for my daughter to like raise.
Yeah, I'm just going to cut the call because it sounds like you're calling from a dang one of those rock tumblers.
You know, it sounds like you're calling from the inside of somebody's gastrointestine.
You know, when they've been eating a fucking, you know, they had a half a handful of rough cinnamon.
You can't, I don't know what you're calling.
I mean, you can't.
Are you calling from the middle of a tectonic plate shift, brother?
You got to get your audio up, daddy.
And I'm sorry, I know I'm sounding rude, but, you know, Largesh wasn't real nice to me.
And it carries on.
So I'm sorry, I'm kind of, I am kind of being rude.
But look, people have called about this a lot.
You know, and you don't know this about me, Riley.
I grew up.
I used to raise hamsters when I was growing up.
And I've been involved in a lot of small ground game my whole life.
Okay, have you ever had any small animals?
I have.
I had a dog when I was little.
Okay, that's great, man.
And so, what I'm telling you is this, brother, is that people call in, and this man's saying, hey, how do we teach the kids when the animals die?
How do we teach them a lesson?
How do we use it positively?
And this fellow's on a farm, and yes, when you're on a farm, you get different animals show up.
You know, you go out there one time, there's a little toucan out there, and he's putting a little, you know, a little, you know, a little dip in his beak or whatever.
You know, you go out in the morning, there'll be a herd of ants out there, you know, pushing half of a damn jolly rancher down the driveway.
You know, farms, just animals know where they are.
So if they're in the nature, they'll stop in.
A group of sparrows will stop by and attack a yard man.
You know, R.I.P.
Big Johnny over there, too, in Natchez, Mississippi.
And I used to work with him.
And he got ganged up on by a whole swaggle of them sparrows.
But a farm is basically like the Hampton Inn, a mother nature's Hampton Inn.
When animals see a farm, they say, oh, yeah, let's stop here for the night, even if they're just passing through the area.
But the way I've found to help children learn about death, you get a little animal and you name it the same name as the grandparents.
That's what they did in our family.
You know, Pop, Pop, and Clara.
So then when they die, you practice, you know, you get them that three-month Roborovsky hamster, you know, and most of that market has gone to Russia now.
But at the time, when I was growing up, these were beautiful animals.
They were well kept.
You know, they had full amount of blood in them.
Now you get a, you know, you get one that's got 60% of blood.
It's got a lot of, you know, it's probably 40% saline solution that's been dyed red.
You just, they're not the same.
A lot of that market's gone to Russia, a lot of hamster, small ground game market.
Anyway, I'm rambling.
What I'm saying is you get the animals, you name them the grandparents' names.
And when they pass away, you practice with the children.
Oh, let's bury Pop Pop.
Let's bury Clara.
Let's bury Zab.
Let's bury Laddie.
Let's bury Gene.
Let's bury Monmer.
And then they get the hang of it.
So then when the actual grandparents die, it's, you know, now things can get a little weird because it'd be like, hey, let's flush grandpa down the toilet.
And that's kind of, you know, that's where you got to plan ahead.
And what do they do in your culture, Riley?
What have they done with the animals?
Honestly, it depends.
Fish would be either down the toilet or in the ocean.
Because, you know, I'm in California, so we have the whole Pacific Ocean next to us.
For dogs, I mean, for my dog, at least, we, I have a friend, or my friend's mom, she owned a bioearn company.
So we had our dog turned into a tree.
You hear them?
That's what the youngsters are doing.
They're having the dog turned into a tree.
Unbelievable, man.
And does it feel positive to you?
What does that feel like, you think?
It does.
It does feel positive until, like, you know, there might be like a tornado or something.
Well, I mean, obviously in California, there's no tornadoes, but like if there's a tornado here, like how there was, and like if the plant was here, well, I would like run with the plant.
You would take the plant and leave with it?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, wow.
But now you're on the hook.
Now you got this tree you got to care about.
Right.
Now, if it gets ants, the tree gets worms, the tree gets, you know, now at the middle of the night, somebody comes out there, you're throwing a frisbee against the tree.
You know, it's like it's not going to.
It just, things are supposed to have a life path.
Right.
And now we're just continuing it on.
But that's California.
Hey, we'll put a dead dog in a tree, you know?
That's the, you know, that's that next, they just keep you on the hook.
Now you're, you know, now every month for an extra $30, they'll dump a freaking, you know, they'll open a can of cat food or something, put it, set it on the branch or something.
So it just never ends.
It just never ends, man.
But that's how you learn about death.
And you mentioned they had a storm here.
They had a tornado that came here?
Correct.
Okay.
And people...
It did a lot of damage, for sure.
It did, I think, I want to say a billion, $2 billion worth of damage.
Dang, really?
Yeah, it was a lot.
It tore right through Middle Tennessee.
It went from the middle of Nashville all the way over to Hermitage.
Oh, wow.
I didn't know it was that bad.
I know it definitely.
It took down a dang soup plantation over there in Hendersonville.
Yeah.
And that broke a lot of hearts.
But one thing that gets me is Mother Nature is going to do what she's going to do.
And it's how we react to it.
You know, and everybody also wants to play a victim a lot of times with Mother Nature.
Oh, Mother, no.
Oh, it's so hot.
Well, you live on Earth.
You know?
There's sun in the air.
You can't be shocked that there's warmth coming out of it.
You know, you can't be shocked if you live on a glacier that your feet get cold.
You know, and everybody wants to be, oh, you know, the tornado and, you know, we were about 60 miles from it and the power went out.
We lost power, some lady kept telling me.
That ain't, look, get a candle, boo.
You didn't losing power.
Losing power is not your arms don't work.
That's losing power.
You know, when you can't hug anybody, you just got to rub your neck against them to let them know you care.
That's losing power.
Okay?
Or your legs don't work and you got to elbow crawl to the door to get a damn Amazon box, you know?
That's losing power.
You know, electricity, you light a candle.
And you can change all that up.
But that is how you name the pets after the grandparents.
That's how it works.
Or you know what?
Name the pets Largish, bruh.
Because she's got something coming.
I'll tell you that.
Let's go to...
Let's go to another call right here.
Here we go.
Hey, Theo.
It's your boy, future Army Helicopter Pilot, Mikey.
What's up, Mikey?
And thank you for calling in.
Good luck out there in that military, bro.
It's my first year away from home, and I'm spending all this motherfucking dorm money on it.
Ugh.
And why did he have to curse, you think, right there, Riley Mao?
Who knows?
It's just how he talks.
Yeah.
Okay.
You're right.
You're right.
Onward?
On a virtual education from an ROTC.
Okay, you take an ROTC virtually.
Okay, Omward?
Got us doing sweat activities on the Zoom call, son.
Anyways, they got these college girl hitters in the Zoom call, and I want some advice on catching their attention with these opposite sex hitters, but do the online calls.
Sometimes I make them laugh by mirroring what they do on the call, and that's really all I've done so far.
Any advice on catching the attention of these fine ladies?
Gang, gang, don't do Coke onward.
Gang, brother.
Do you do cocaine, Rally?
I don't.
All right, so what this man is asking about is being on Zoom and flirting with women.
And I guess there's something to be said for having some Zoom game.
You know, I think one thing you can do, I love the idea of mirroring what the lady is doing.
That's like a cute way of flirting, kind of.
You know, she dranks out of something, you drank out of something.
You know, she puts on a, you know, would do a lipstick, you do a lipstick.
You know, she, you know, pets an animal or something, you pet an animal.
I really like that.
I also think you need to, you want to have stuff in the atmosphere that shows a woman how you feel.
You want to set something nice out there.
Get your little plant, get your little bonsai out there.
A little cactus, man.
You know, set a nice, some shoes or something in the back, something nice.
You know, you want to have, you just want to have a, you want to have nice things.
You know, if you're eating something, make sure it's something classy.
You know, get a plant and even, you could do gardening while you're on the call.
Start doing a little garden.
You know, and do something sexual.
Throw a little, you know, plant a couple Viagras, plant a couple blue chews.
Throw out the vibe.
Say, hey, you know, I'm ready to grow a little root for you, mommy.
You know, you got to, you know, you got to plan ahead a little bit.
You know, leave things out that are good.
Leave things out that she'll see on the Zoom.
Things that, you know, some fresh bread, a little freaking, some remotes, you know, different remote controllers.
Let her know you got a little bit of money.
You know, do that kind of thing.
It's gentleman it up.
Hang a tuxedo in the distance.
You know, put on some James Bond or something in the background.
You know, get a picture of, download a picture of rich parents.
Google rich parents on the internet.
Print it out.
Hang it up.
Plan ahead.
So that's easy, brother.
And you're welcome for that.
All right, I do want to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Ray Khan.
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What else is going on?
Oh, in the news, I saw this that they had a gender reveal party and they lit up the dang forest in California.
Couple people trying to beat open a, you know, somebody trying to beat open a flaming armoire with a golf club just so they can let you know who their son, what the gender of their son is.
And California said, we ain't having any of it.
And now there's a forest fire.
Over 7,000 acres of male and female forest have been burnt to the ground.
Look, man, they don't, you got it.
California is not, they don't, nobody has a gender.
There's no more gender there.
They ain't doing gender.
They ain't doing gender.
You try to reveal anything's gender, fire.
That's the new rule there.
Oh, you want to see this?
You want to see it, you know, see if the baby gots a titty or something.
They shooting open a damn water balloon with a cannon.
Do the baby gots a titty or wiener or whatever?
Bam.
Fire.
The gender reveals they can't handle it.
You know, when I was young, Riley Mao, when I was young, you would look, you know, you got to be five or six years old.
You'd sneak off and look in your pants and see what you were.
I remember not, I didn't know what I was, you know.
I remember one time, I'm over at my friend's house.
He's a little bit, kind of, he was kind of fat, a little kind of chubby guy, and he was taking a break.
He was always doing that.
You know, we'd play any game.
We'd be 10 seconds into the game, and he would turn red and have to take a break.
So I snuck off behind his house over kind of by the firewood, looked in my pants, and I was a man.
There wasn't no party.
There wasn't no cake after.
There wasn't no petty fours.
You know, no balloons, no BS.
But there wasn't any fire.
You know, you youngsters, you want everybody, you know, you know, you got a win or you want everybody to have a damn, you know, slice of homemade pie or something.
So, just different, man.
It's just different.
What else have I been seeing a lot of?
Dude, you know what I was thinking?
A lot of these BLM rallies, it's all white people.
That's how lame they've gotten.
Black people aren't even showing up to them anymore.
Could you imagine if a black guy showed up to a BLM rally?
He would be like, this has gotten bad.
This has gotten...
I'll say this.
there's people fighting in the parks and stuff and you keep seeing it.
This is what is interesting You know, the world has gotten a little more violent.
They got the UFC now.
You can watch people beat each other into unconsciousness in three-minute increments on the weekend.
Brought to you by Toyo Tires.
They're selling you tires while somebody is losing their ability to recognize their family members.
That's why a lot of protesting, I think you get these Antifa, you get these proud boys, you know, you get these wildcats out there.
That's the new Renaissance fair.
Get a turkey leg, go to the park, and watch them LARP it out.
That's all it is.
That's all it is.
Let's take a couple more calls that came in.
Here we go.
What's up, Theo?
It's your boy Jim from Jacksonville.
What's up, Jim?
And Jim can be short for a lot of different names, bro.
Jimothy.
Let's hear more.
I was wondering if you had any thoughts on this WAP.
See, like, WAPs are hot in the streets right now.
Just wondering if you had any thoughts or comments on it.
That WAP.
Worship and praise, my brother.
Praise the Lord.
Amen, baby.
PTL, brother.
I feel you.
And a lot of people are talking, you know, they have a lot of risque music out there.
You know, and they got the new song WAP, and it stands for wet private parts, basically.
Female Crotch.
For me, I don't listen to it.
I just don't, you know, I just don't.
I think it's more of a girl's song.
You know, I just don't listen to it, man.
I don't listen.
When I was young, WAP was also a racial slur, I think, even.
You know, and so I'm not, if I go around yelling WAP, you know, I just don't want to get involved in any, you know, I don't want my grandfather to get excited and run and grab a weapon, you know, that kind of shit.
So I don't listen to it, brother.
Jim from Jacksonville, I appreciate you calling.
I don't, you know, I just don't need to be thinking about it.
Because I have enough visions in my head of female body crotch, titty, shoulder area, you know, neck, back, leg, nice leg.
You know, and I'm trying to keep, I just, and it's okay to have them.
I just don't want to be, you know, touching myself.
So that's why I'm trying not to, I don't need to be driving around as an adult man listening to someone yelling about their crotch being wet.
I don't.
I don't need that.
Okay, great man.
Onward.
Let's take one more call here that we got here.
Let's hear it.
Yo, what's up, Theo?
This is Nick from just outside of Baltimore in Maryland, the safe side.
But this past weekend, my girlfriend and I, we took a trip to Lancaster, Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
You know, out there in Amish country.
And we saw this girl on like this scooter bike that didn't have wheels.
And she was moving faster than a horse.
Literally faster than a horse.
And I thought, man, what are we missing out on?
What if the Amish were in the Olympics?
Think about that.
I was like, man, I know you're always thinking about the next movie that you and your podcast buddies could do.
You talking about wrestling or something like that.
But I want you guys to do the Amish Olympics.
Anyhow, man.
The Amish Olympics, huh?
And this Riley, this is a fella calling.
This guy's obviously under the influence of drugs, marijuana.
You know, this guy's driving through Pennsylvania.
He's his girlfriend.
And they are watching a child and a horse.
They're watching a child on a scooter pass a horse.
You know, the Amish were the original aliens.
You know, before they went to aliens, oh, space, there's people in space, you know, being crazy, doing this kind of stuff, and, you know, lasers, all of that.
They had the Amish.
That was the original alien.
Like, hey, let's go watch a guy hang laundry.
People are like, no-uh.
Let's go watch a guy make his own milk or milk his wife.
Like, no.
You're kidding.
And then you go out and you'd see it.
You just, you know, you'd be in the woods.
It'd be a couple of men.
And that's a police, I guess.
I don't know.
If you see the studio here, I mean, we have a limited.
It is learn as we go.
It's been a learning experience, man.
It's been a little bit of a trying time.
But what I'm telling this guy, Amish Olympics, let's do it.
I'm ready to see everybody in it.
And I want to know where the black Amish are.
Where are the black Amish?
You want to get out there?
You want to do something different?
Find these people.
Find these people and report them.
All right, man.
Let's take one more call.
This has been a wild episode.
It's been, you know, we're getting through this.
That's what this is called, I think.
Getting through this.
I want to say, I want to thank everybody for their patience.
As we, you know, this episode, we got it out a little bit late this week.
But we had to make sure that we're figuring things out.
There's not a, you know, we're missing, you get over to different areas of the country.
They don't have the same people.
You don't have the same, you know, you can't just, you know, kidnap somebody and next thing you know, they know how to help produce a podcast or edit video.
You know, it's just not the same.
It's not the same types of people.
So it takes them, so you got to look through the woods a little.
You got to find your black Amish, you know.
You got to find that rare person, that alien, that unique, that large-ish.
And let's take one more call that came in here.
Here we go.
Yo, Theo, this is Jesse, man.
You just gave me a call this afternoon.
And, you know, what's up, Jesse?
Yeah, I remember, man.
This is last week, but I do remember, bruh.
Hope you're doing well, man.
And yeah, thanks for chatting with me, Ombud.
I've been thinking about it.
Well, I just got out of work, and I've been thinking about it.
And like, you know, I feel bad because like, you know, I felt like I was just, you know, maybe I'm just overthinking, but I feel like I was discrediting your feelings because I was like in the, you know, starstruck kind of moment of, you know, you giving me a call or whatever.
And like, you know, you were expressing to me some things you were going through.
And like, you know, looking back on it, I was kind of like dismissive of it, I think.
And, you know, maybe I'm just overthinking.
That's what I do.
But I just wanted to express that to you and how grateful I am that you actually did reach out, man, because it did help me today.
I was going through a lot today.
And I've been going through a lot lately.
And, you know, I try to put on a mask of everything's great and golden.
But, you know, there's just life's going on and stuff, you know.
So we can get through anything together.
You know what I mean?
We do together with this, I can't do alone, you know.
So, you know, my celebration's coming up here September 26th on the Zoom platform.
And I'm pretty excited for that, dude.
Thanks again for calling, man.
Keep up the good work and, you know, keep that gratitude, man.
I'm grateful for you every day, dude.
Love you.
Gang.
Thanks, man.
That's a nice message, man.
That's a really nice message.
Yeah, I don't think that you were rude, man.
And I didn't mean to surprise you just with the call, but I'm glad that we got to chat a little.
And, yeah, I overthink everything, man.
I overthink everything.
Like, dang.
Like, dude, I'll be like, dang, man, was I too weird in that meeting?
Like, did I stay?
Sometimes I'll be talking.
I'll be list in a conversation.
I'll be like, am I looking at this person for too long?
Like, do I blink right now?
Do I, what do I do?
Touch my face?
Oh, I wish I had some gum.
And some of them I'll keep a little, you know, a baby Snicker or Jolly Rancher in my pocket so I can open it up.
You know, if I start to, about eight seconds into just staring somebody in the eyes, it's like, okay, blink, have a JR.
You know, break up the momentum.
But we do it together, man.
We do everything together.
You know, and I appreciate your call back and just, man, you're golden in my book.
And just the fact that you thought to give me a call and just say, hey, man, that means a lot, you know, and just, and that you cared how I was thinking or that, you know, it's, you know, we're here on earth and this is the gift is each other.
You know, the gift is each other.
And it's been a rough time for a lot of people.
You know, a lot of, you know, we get addicted to the news and addicted to the watching the drama.
And I was thinking the past week, I've been thinking, man, people over politics, I've been thinking.
You know, I care about people.
I don't care.
I don't care about politics.
It's too much of an argumentative space.
It all feels like a dirty show.
You know, so what can we affect?
What can we be a part of that feels good, I feel like, is each other?
What can we be a part of that?
You know, I'm tired.
I don't need all the extra curriculars.
You know, I'm just going to show up and just feed the ducks, man.
You know, if Large wants to be a, you know, if she wants to be a Large, that's fine.
I'll be a small, I'm just going to try and be a small Jeesh, man.
You know, I'm going to check in with people that I love and people that I know care about me.
I'm just going to try to keep it going.
But for me, man, I just, I don't want to be in the, I don't want to be in that hurricane, man.
It just, I just notice more, I don't know, man.
I'm not trying to preach at you.
I just, you know, when I look back on the past few months and I just feel like, oh, just all the stuff and the opinion, the stuff online and the opinions I get.
And then I get angry at this person.
And then it's like, man, I'm angry.
I'm getting upset with people and opinions and stuff, people that I care about.
You know, what's real here?
So I don't know.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
But I'm just glad I'm not a dang pedophile.
I'm glad I'm not, you know, there's things to be grateful for.
And we got each other and we trying something new.
And I'm glad I don't have to try it alone, man.
Dude, two days ago, I'm sitting in here and I'm like, man, I'm never going to get this studio put together.
I'm not going to be able to figure it out.
You know, three days ago, I was just bummed, man.
And now I'm sitting here.
We got a place.
They got fresh paint.
You know, we got another human here.
You know, sitting here working with people from different cultures, different worlds.
And it's okay.
You know, we just keep going, man.
We keep going onward.
I think that's it.
Riley Mao, anything else you need to say, man?
No, I think this was great.
I love being here.
Great to be here.
I like your attitude, brother.
I like your attitude, man.
Alright, let's roll out on some shine.
The same way we rolled in, man.
People say I'm tired of hearing it.
Sometimes I'm tired of hearing it, but it's keeping me going.
You know, I am excited about getting some musicians, different musicians, and introducing their music through the podcast.
You know, different Nashville musicians and just trying to focus on that again, getting some new music and giving young artists a platform.
You know, I'm excited about that.
You know, and it's sometimes we can't even be in the results of things.
You know, we had, you know, with the last episode, solo episode, we try to reach out to some of the different single mothers and say hey to them.
And we're going to, you know, it's taken a little bit, but we're going to send them some cards and do, you know, send a little gift to help out with just some of them being a part of doing fun stuff with their kids.
And, you know, and we got just some just kickback from it about, you know, one of the moms have an OnlyFans account.
You know, and it just.
You know, you just do what you can.
You know, and it's even when you try to do something good, it's something that don't, or whatever, just, you know, it's not always going to be perceived that way.
Oh, well, you know?
It's just, you just try.
You just try and you go again and you do something.
You just do what you can.
You know?
You just do what you can.
I don't know why I'm really sharing that with you guys, but it just, I don't know, it's just, you do what you can.
I don't even know if you ever win.
You just do what you can.
Everybody's just trying to survive.
I really believe that.
Everybody's just trying to survive.
And we do what we can, man.
But I'm glad to be here today with you.
And I appreciate you being supportive of this podcast as we expand and get this Central East location.
We'll still be going back to L.A. We're trying things out.
We're trying something new.
And I'm trying to stay hopeful, man.
And I'm not doing it alone.
Thank you, Riley Mao, for being in here today.
And being a true Japanese Hawaiian.
Is that your culture?
Correct.
Them Jayhaws, man, beautiful people.
And thank you, producer Nick Davis, who flew over here with his girlfriend, and they came and helped out.
And you know, it takes a village, huh?
Right.
Right, exactly.
You know, we can't do things alone, can we?
Not at all.
You always need someone to help.
Yeah.
It's true, man.
Sometimes I want to do things just alone.
I just get stuck that way, you know?
Right.
Do you really?
But then whenever I do decide, okay, I'm going to do it with somebody else, I end up feeling better.
Right.
It's a lot easier with someone else, whether you just need them, whether you need them to be something for you or either.
Yeah.
That's it, man.
I'm glad you said that.
All right, you guys, be good to yourselves, man.
You deserve it.
And we'll see you guys next time.
I
I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home And my mind is somewhere else But when I find it I'll patch up where it's been blown Now I'm just footing on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone
But when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it But it's gonna take me to the city see
to you Shine that light on me I I still can tell you.
Shine on me And I will follow song
I will sing it just for you Oh, oh yeah Shine For me, yeah Shine Oh yeah Oh yeah, yeah Shine
Oh, baby, oh, baby Oh, baby, oh, baby Shine.
Shine.
And bring your feelings again.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voicemails.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, sweetheart.
Easy deal.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Tommy.
I don't think a quarter bottle of teams added a bit quarterly.
I think Tom Hanks just buttiled me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Third rule.
Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
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