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Aug. 3, 2020 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

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E290 Andrew Santino 3

Andrew Santino returns for his 3rd appearance on This Past Weekend. https://twitter.com/cheetosantino ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- New Merch https://theovonstore.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by… Hawthorne https://Hawthorne.com and use promo code THEO Betterhelp https://betterhelp.com/theo Modiphy https://modiphy.com/theo ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.
	If you've wanted that feeling in your mouth that's warm and cheesy and meaty and crusty, well, you don't have to do something unnatural anymore.
	You can go to a wonderful place called Greyblock Pizza in Los Angeles, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach.
	Gray Block and get that hitter, baby.
	Today's guest is a man, and he's really one of a kind and very unique.
	He is an actor.
	He's a podcaster.
	He is a part of the Bad Friends podcast and host of Whiskey Ginger.
	He's a comedian.
	And he's my friend, Mr. Andrew Santino.
	I need to set that parking brake and let myself on my eyes.
	Shine that light on me.
	I'll sit and tell you my stories.
	Shine on me.
	And I will find a song.
	I'll be singing just a phone.
	And I'll be...
	He's got really nice, smooth skin.
	It's like black twists.
	He's almost not real.
	At some point, I don't know if we might find out that he's not real.
	Yeah.
	But he's a sweet, sweet boy.
	Oh, at some point, the Jumanji game is going to end somewhere, and he's going to disappear.
	He's just going to break.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Who is worst friends?
	So y'all's new show is called Bad Friends.
	Bad Friends, yeah.
	And who is worst friends, you and Bobby or me and what's it called?
	Pirates Booty himself, Bernan Schau.
	Oh, Bernan?
	Bernon?
	Yeah.
	I think you guys are worst friends.
	Barnyard, though.
	Barndor Schluben is probably...
	No, no, no.
	No one's...
	I'll ask you this.
	How about this?
	Bobby and I are friends because we get mad at each other all the time.
	Okay.
	Like, are you and Brennan friends because you bicker a lot?
	Do you bicker a lot and it makes you closer or no?
	Well, that's a good question.
	I mean, yeah, the reason the show even started was because we were ripping on each other.
	Yeah, right.
	Okay.
	So with us, it started because we undeniably have opposing lifestyles.
	So we would tease each other and get mad at each other for it.
	Oh, I hated that he played video games till four in the morning.
	Oh, yeah.
	He thinks sports are for losers.
	We're polar opposites.
	I like that stuff.
	He likes that stuff.
	And we make fun of each other for it, but it just, it works.
	Like the way that you and Barndor shit on each other, it's beautiful because I know half of it's real and half of it's all love.
	Yeah.
	But it's, you know, there's a balance to all of us.
	Yeah, it's that heartfelt dung, really, a lot of it.
	You know?
	It's like, hey, here's a turd, but man, you know, I put a Valentine at the end.
	It looks nice.
	I wrapped it up nice.
	Yeah, I wrapped this piece of shit for you, but you mean a lot to me.
	Yeah, that's kind of how it is, man.
	You look good.
	You feel good?
	I feel okay, man.
	I'm going to Nashville to look around over there.
	I know we talked, huh?
	You excited?
	I looked at Houses Online when I texted you.
	When you said you were looking at Nashville, I looked at Houses Online just to see what they're like over there.
	It's so funny to think that, like.
	Could you get something nice there?
	You can.
	You can, but not like I thought it would be.
	Right.
	Because Nashville's popular, dude.
	Yeah.
	That's not, that's, this isn't like a, you know, when somebody's like, I'm moving to Cincinnati.
	You're like, all right, you're going to buy the whole town.
	You could buy Cincinnati.
	Yeah.
	But you go to Nashville, it's still like it is out here.
	It's a little expensive in the sense of like, you know, you're going to get your money's worth, but.
	It's pricey.
	Yeah.
	Well, because it's desirable.
	Tennessee is great.
	There's no state income tax.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	It's also Nashville is a hub for music and culture and art.
	Anytime you get that, you're going to have people going there from places like Illinois where I'm from.
	It's too expensive to live.
	The taxes are as much as they are.
	My parents pay almost what I pay.
	No way.
	Yeah, in taxes for their house.
	And your parents are still married?
	Yeah.
	Damn.
	Yeah.
	But I mean, legally, legally.
	Right.
	Because when my dad's retired, you know.
	Do they sleep in the same bedroom still?
	No.
	Yes and no.
	My dad stays up late at night.
	Yeah.
	So he doesn't go, you know what I mean?
	That's the move.
	When it gets to that age, when it's the final 20, when it's that final 20 years, when that last quarter, when that last lap starts, the big move is to stay in front of the TV as long as you can once the spouse goes to bed.
	Because then they go to bed, then you go, oh, I fell asleep.
	I didn't know.
	I didn't know you went up last night.
	I fell asleep.
	He loves the couch.
	Sometimes he sleeps in the guest room sometimes because he says he didn't, if he goes, oh, I had a cough or I didn't feel good.
	Separation.
	I don't like sleeping in the same bed.
	Do you like sleep in the same bed as a lady?
	No.
	No.
	I don't like sleeping in the same apartment as a lady.
	I know.
	I want a shared room.
	That's why I want to get a big enough house where my wife can be on one side.
	I can be on the other.
	I have a couple friends like that.
	Yeah, just big enough homes where they split.
	I want to have a schedule in the kitchen.
	We'll meet here at noon.
	Yeah.
	But I can be in my wing.
	You're in your wing.
	We'll link up for breakfast or lunch.
	Then we continue on.
	How great is that?
	It's beautiful, man.
	I don't like sleeping in the same bed.
	I'm dead serious.
	I want my whole space.
	I get too hot.
	I get anxious.
	I flip around.
	Do you wake up at night or no?
	Yeah.
	I'm up all night long.
	Yeah, you seem like somebody that was up all night, Mike.
	I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I go to bed.
	I wake up.
	Oh my gosh.
	I go write something down.
	I watch TV.
	I can't sleep through the nights.
	Write something down.
	Yeah.
	What is this?
	Are you in like, are you on a ship and the birds?
	I'll tell murder mysteries week to week.
	And if I think of, the blood was on his shoe, and then I'll write it down.
	No, if I get a thought that I can't, I need like you.
	Yeah, you got to write it down.
	Don't you put it in your phone?
	Don't you put stuff in your phone like that?
	Yeah, I'll read a couple.
	Yeah, read something that you throw down in your phone recently.
	Let me see.
	What a comics condition by.
	A lot of mine's about gays, and a lot of mine's racial stuff, too.
	Oh, same.
	Oh, blind puzzle making.
	I thought it would be good if they had a game show where it was blind people making puzzles, you know?
	Oh, I love that.
	This says, why do adults like to get spanked?
	Why do adults like to get spanked during sex?
	It's gross.
	It's indicative of childhood trauma.
	It's very strange to like.
	Knock that trauma.
	Yeah.
	You want to spank the trauma right out of me.
	Yeah.
	That's where the term daddy bothers me.
	When I have a son, I'll hit him in the face if he calls me daddy.
	Yeah.
	I'm papa or pop or dad.
	Yeah.
	Daddy is gross.
	Daddy?
	Yuck.
	Oh, yeah.
	Daddy's too much.
	It's gross.
	Father?
	Father.
	Father's nice.
	Yes, father.
	Yes, boy.
	Yes.
	Go fetch a pail.
	Go fetch your pail, boy.
	Dude, I get a DM from this company that I've never answered, but for the past seven months, they've hit me up and they say, who's your jeweler?
	Who do you use as a jeweler?
	They're a jewelry company.
	I don't ever wear jewelry.
	I don't even wear a wedding ring.
	I don't like jewelry.
	I don't like stuff.
	And they hit me up every other week.
	They erase their DM and they send it again.
	Who's your jeweler?
	I think I might need to go get some jewelry.
	You think?
	I'm trying to think.
	Oh, I could see you in a chain.
	I could see you in a wrist chain.
	A tennis bracelet.
	But I want it on my ankle like a girl.
	Like a girl in spring break.
	Dude, I want one above each knee.
	Yeah, I want a most savage.
	Yeah, right above your knee wrapped around.
	That's dope.
	Wouldn't that be fun if you had $20,000 on each leg?
	I would love that.
	My knees are blinged out.
	Dude, that's so wild, man, to think that, like, I wonder, like, yeah, what jewelry is going to be like in the future.
	Like, if we, like, if people are going to start to get more stuff like installed into their bodies.
	Yeah, bro.
	Have you seen In Their Teeth?
	Will it all be virtual?
	I mean, I've seen those Johnny Dang.
	Have you seen that guy?
	No, no, no.
	I mean, in their teeth.
	People put diamonds in their tooth.
	Yeah, Simon Rex has one.
	That's wild.
	They physically put it into your tooth now.
	They used to put it on your tooth.
	Now they can drill a hole and put a diamond in your tooth.
	Put it in there.
	There's Johnny Dang right there.
	Yeah.
	Babo, Johnny Dang.
	Every rapper sings about Johnny Dang.
	And he's that Vietnamese gateway to the...
	Yeah.
	He's like, what?
	You need more ice on you?
	You don't have no mouth.
	You don't have enough.
	Look at how much ice he's holding on.
	Oh, he's iced out.
	Yeah.
	He's so tiny, too.
	Oh, yeah.
	Look at him.
	And you know, they grow him for the show when they do recordings.
	Oh, he's a little boba drink.
	Yeah, they stretch him out.
	You could sip right out of his little ass.
	Look at him with that girl on that Vice article up there.
	He could fit inside of her tits.
	He's a nice little sliver of a man.
	Oh, beautiful.
	Look at the look in his eyes, dude, the excitement.
	He's so happy about life.
	Yeah, he feels good about life.
	Yeah.
	These guys have beautiful stories.
	I'm always impressed by this kind of stuff.
	Oh, yeah.
	They make it from zero, you know, like builds his own empire.
	We're talking zero.
	Like, dude, I remember when I was on, when I went on semester at sea, so it was like a school, you know?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like a campus on a cruise ship kind of.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	So I remember we were coming into port in the morning.
	We would get into like the different port cities because you kind of go to different cities around the globe, right?
	So we get into port cities.
	I remember being up in the morning was the biggest thing if you could be up at like 5 a.m.
	as you come into the port of a new country you've never been to, right?
	Pretty crazy.
	Yeah, that's wild.
	And I remember getting into Vietnam and like passing fishing boats, like in a, I mean, we're in like a cruise ship, you know, and passing fishing boats, like little guy, hat, you know, like mouthful of melon, like he would fill his mouth with melon in the morning and then just only swallow a little bit throughout the day.
	Like that was his lunch.
	Yeah.
	Kind of like one of those little drip bottles for a hamster, but built into him.
	And then, and he would just be out there just fishing, man.
	And a cruise ship.
	It was almost like just two time zones passing each other.
	Oh, yeah.
	And it would just be so bizarre, like the wake of this cruise ship just going in.
	Rocking his boat.
	Yeah.
	Lifting these little bitty skiffs that they were out there.
	And that's his entire living.
	Yeah.
	It's sitting out there doing fishing in the morning.
	And you guys, meanwhile, are showing up just to party.
	Been, yeah, up all night.
	Just partying all the time.
	Doing bootleg cocaine that we bought in some country that we made.
	How bad is bootleg cocaine?
	Oh, some guy was making cocaine, I remember.
	Was it good?
	Here's what I would say.
	It didn't damage you.
	Yeah, it wasn't going to hurt you.
	Yeah, so you could do as much as you wanted.
	You weren't going to get high, but you weren't going to get hurt.
	Your heart wasn't going to stop.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	See, that's the opposite with like bad weed.
	Bad weed makes you feel sick, right?
	And you're going to get a headache and your stomach kind of turns and you feel gross.
	Like bad weed is bad.
	Bad Coke is just not real.
	Yeah.
	It's just not real coke, but somebody made it, man.
	This guy had this whole little deal going on and he was making it, man.
	So that was cool just to get some.
	It was even if it didn't work, just getting it.
	Just knowing you got it.
	Isn't that half of the hunt?
	Half of the fun was getting, getting drugs.
	And then when you get drugs, you do them and you're like, this is great, but getting the drugs was really fun.
	Yeah.
	Because the people you would get in trouble with.
	Dude, I've told this story before, but I used to do drugs with this guy whose parents were both deaf.
	Oh, wow.
	Yeah.
	And his dad would come in the room sometimes.
	We'd be high as shit.
	David was his name or not?
	Annie, what was his real, was his name?
	His name was...
	I'm being serious.
	We had a dea fellow named David.
	Oh, you.
	Oh, it wasn't his parents.
	I don't even know this kid.
	I don't remember his name.
	I just remember he had deaf parents, and I really...
	Well, deaf runs in the...
	Is that Deaf David?
	Oh, I don't know.
	This guy does have an earpiece in.
	Let's hear what he had to say.
	Deaf runs in the.
	In the David family?
	Go, she's a fucking...
	What drug wouldn't you take?
	I think mine is probably fucking heroin, because, you know, no fucking needles, WhatsApp.
	So, what do you think?
	Gang.
	Dude, a big guy like that could handle a little bit.
	He could handle some wind.
	He could handle a freaking, you know, a little vein.
	He's the size of those baseball men hands.
	So you could shoot right into that middle finger, dog.
	You know what I'm saying?
	He said, what drug wouldn't I take?
	Yeah.
	I mean, he did say, but that's the thing about the mistake of heroin.
	He thinks you just have to shoot it.
	You don't have to just shoot it.
	You could snort it.
	You can smoke it.
	So, like, needles scare him.
	You could snort and smoke heroin.
	I don't think I would want to do heroin, but I think the drug I really wouldn't take, I don't think I'll ever do ayahuasca.
	I know people.
	I don't really want it.
	I don't know.
	And if people have a religious experience on it, I don't know if I really...
	I don't really want to do drugs anymore.
	I barely smoke pot anymore.
	Damn.
	I just like drinking.
	You sound like a damn grandparent.
	You don't want to do drugs anymore?
	I don't want to do drugs anymore, man.
	I think I did drugs that I need to do.
	I think I've done enough drugs that I needed to do.
	But what about Kakas CU?
	I did mushrooms this weekend.
	I did mushrooms this weekend.
	Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
	But they're chocolate mushrooms, and you take a little bit.
	Do you feel anything or not?
	Yeah, you feel a little fun.
	It's a little fun.
	Who'd you take them with the missus?
	Some buds.
	Some people came up with some fellas.
	It was two of my friends' birthdays, and we threw a little like happy birthday, and then we projected a movie on the garage wall outside.
	I got a projector.
	Oh, yeah.
	And we watched the sand lot.
	Probably one of the best movies of all time.
	Does the wife drug or not?
	No, no drugs.
	No drugs.
	Just drinking.
	She never did drugs.
	never really got into them.
	Wow.
	She's not opposed to them, but I've also just grown weary of doing drugs.
	I don't want to do, I did drugs when I was young as much as I could, and then now I'm like.
	What is it?
	Do you feel like the body can't handle it?
	Do you feel like it's not?
	That's the first step.
	Is it?
	Yeah, I just, I can't.
	Your body is, you ruin two days now.
	Yeah.
	I used to be able to do drugs and function.
	Go to work.
	Yeah.
	I used to do drugs at work.
	Yeah.
	Think about that.
	Half the people that are at work are on drugs.
	Yeah.
	All the chefs at a kitchen, bro.
	Yeah.
	If your order comes out quick, that's drugs.
	That's drugs.
	Yeah.
	People are like, oh man, this restaurant's great, dude.
	He's just, he's amped the fuck up.
	That's drugs.
	He's on meth.
	Eggs, hash browns, eggs, eggs.
	He knows how to throw it out.
	I just got to a point, I think, where I did a lot of drugs when I was young.
	And then now all I like to do was smoke some weed and drink.
	But even weed has taken a backseat in my life.
	I don't know why.
	I just don't.
	And do you ever remember, I remember getting so high at this girl's house one time when I was young that I couldn't even, I remember telling some girl, like I remember being stuck in this bedroom, like laying on my back on this bed or couch.
	And I was so high.
	Like everybody else had gotten high and gone to do something fun.
	Right.
	Right.
	And I was like, all right, I'm coming.
	And as I'm getting up to leave out of the door, I can't, I couldn't get out of my body.
	I couldn't, my body was stuck up in there.
	Yeah.
	And so I'm like laying there and some girl came back in the room to get something, right?
	And I remember just being like, hey, hey, hey, you know, get me, you know, get me.
	And I remember this girl looking at me.
	And I think she thought I was trying to hit on her or something.
	I might have been, you know, because even.
	Half and half.
	Yeah, because I'm trying to fuck, even though I'm down for the count, you know?
	I can't move, but I'll fuck.
	Yeah, halfway through a 10 count, I'll still get my dick up, you know.
	Even at six, I'll fucking say, hey, come fuck, you know.
	But I remember this girl just looking at me, and I remember speaking, but I couldn't.
	It was the only skill I had left was to speak.
	To get it out.
	Yeah, like, get me, get me.
	And they left, man.
	And I just remember being trapped there, literally, felt like I was loitering in my own body that wouldn't move.
	Yeah.
	Like just wandering around the hallways in my body.
	Trespassing.
	Yeah, trespassing.
	You wanted to call the cops on yourself.
	Get out of my body.
	I got so high one time at a college party and I went in this girl's room to just get away from people because I was getting, I was like, my heart was jumping.
	I was feeling really fucked up and I was like having a panic attack that I'm like, I'm too drunk.
	I'm too fucking high.
	I'm on a few things.
	I'm feeling real fucked up.
	So I go, I go, oh, dude, I hate it.
	I go and sit down in her bed and I curled up and I woke up to her and her roommate screaming at me.
	Like, get the fuck out.
	Get the fuck out, you fucking piece.
	I was like, dude, I hate that.
	I'm too high.
	I had like dried tears at this point because I cried, prayed to God 10 times.
	Don't let me die like this in this fucking, in this girl's one bedroom, one bath.
	I just don't want to die in a small place.
	I want to die in a big house.
	It doesn't have to be mine.
	But if I'm going to die of drugs, I want to die in a big house.
	Oh, wow.
	You know?
	Dying in a small place is sad.
	Yeah.
	You're right there.
	They find you right away.
	They walk in.
	They know you're right there.
	There's no investigation.
	There's no mystery.
	There's no allure.
	There's no hearing their heels walk on the nice floors as they look for you.
	Yeah, no.
	Where could he be?
	Is he in here?
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Nope, not in there.
	Upstairs?
	Yeah.
	And he's not up here.
	Yeah, no, I didn't want to die like that.
	I did.
	That's what college was.
	College was bad for me like that.
	I got myself in bad situations in college with drugs.
	That's probably why I don't want to do them anymore.
	Just nights of like, I remember sitting watching my buddy.
	And were you doing cocaine or drugs?
	Just everything.
	I did anything that came my way.
	I would take all sorts of fun shit.
	As long as other people were doing it, I'll take it.
	I'd throw a pill in my throat.
	I didn't really, I was like, okay, if other people were doing it, I was down to have fun with, if we were all doing it.
	But I remember one night my buddy was playing.
	He played acoustic guitar.
	And he was so high on cocaine that he was playing so much.
	And he's doing that like Coke mouse.
	And he doesn't even realize he's cutting his finger.
	His cuticles are bleeding because he's playing so hard.
	But I didn't want to stop him because the song was so good.
	I just let him ride it out.
	You know what I mean?
	Bible, like a musical Bible.
	Yeah.
	You're only going to get Dave Matthews crash into me so many times live.
	So I was like, let that motherfucker play.
	Yeah, I've seen some people do some nasty shit on drugs.
	It turns you off as you get older.
	Yeah, the older you get and you see people get real fucked up, you go, ugh, that's not cool anymore.
	It looks sad now.
	Yeah, what is it?
	There's something about it that gets.
	Well, when you're younger, it's more like you have time to kill for sure.
	Totally.
	So it's like, oh, if I burn two days doing this or whatever.
	Yeah.
	And your body can recover quicker.
	Yeah.
	And your responsibilities are less.
	You have nobody to answer to.
	Right.
	Like, oh, if I just lay in my bed for a day and a half, it's going to be chill.
	Right.
	It'll be, it'll be great, actually.
	Yeah.
	Also, I think when you're young, you want to test your limits of your body because you're kids think they're invincible because you kind of are.
	Right.
	Like you kind of are.
	You can get into a car accident and the next day as a young, as a 20-year-old, I could feel fine.
	They're like, man, yeah, we got hit yesterday.
	That kind of stung my back.
	I got hit a year ago.
	It fucked me up for like six months.
	Yeah.
	You know, and it wasn't even that bad of an accident.
	It's just, you test the limits of your body when you're young because you're flawless.
	You're, you're, you're a machine.
	You know what I mean?
	You can do, you can, you can go play sports.
	You can go work out.
	You can go get wasted.
	Then that afternoon, go to a party, stay up till 5 a.m., get on a flight the next day, go with friends somewhere.
	Your body doesn't really react.
	Then you get older and your body just, your body slowly just goes, nuh-uh.
	Nuh-uh, dude.
	We're not going to, no.
	Your muscles start to get tighter.
	You need to stretch more.
	It's like, and then young people are always like, oh, whatever.
	But then it happens and you're like, oh, shit.
	It starts to feel, you start to feel like it's, you can't do as much as you used to.
	You know what it feels like when I, like when a dad, when a dad is like playing sports with you, shooting hoops, and he's like, oh, oh, My back, and you're like, What?
	We just shot, we're just shooting around.
	Now, sometimes when I'm doing something, I'll go, fuck my back, yeah, and I know what dad was talking about.
	It's weird, man.
	And you start to like, you start to, like, whatever you're doing, you start to, as you're doing it, you know the repercussions, yeah, so you limit what you're doing as you do it.
	So, you're like, okay, I'm playing defense this time, I'm not playing defense next time because I don't have, you know, I can be in three days I have to do something.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Now, if I only have to do something in four, if I had to do something in four days, then I'd play defense the whole game.
	Right, right.
	But I got to do something in three days, so I'm going to have to kind of monitor.
	It's going to be half and half.
	You go in, I'll go in.
	Yeah, you like start to compromise with yourself on what you're willing to sacrifice.
	But it does get that.
	I mean, dude, even traveling.
	Let's play hoops.
	Let's go to Damon Buster's.
	Yeah, we'll go to Buffalo Wild Wings.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We'll watch hoops.
	Yeah, let's watch hoops.
	You know, when you travel for stand-up, don't you feel the same way that there's days when you travel that you can handle the plane schedule if you're jumping around like show to show to show?
	But then there's some times when city to city, city, it just hits me way harder.
	I don't know why.
	There's some days when I'm like more exhausted from the night after night after night.
	Even if I haven't changed the schedule.
	Yeah.
	You know, even if my diet's the same or I'm not drinking as much.
	Oh, yeah.
	It'll still mess me up.
	Sometimes I'll wake up in a city and just go, God, I'm like tired and in pain.
	And I think when I first started going on the road, dude, when I was 22. Please, please, I drove to Montana and back in a day.
	I didn't give a shit.
	Yeah, remember that?
	Yeah, dude.
	Oh, it's a 40-hour drive?
	And here.
	I drove back, did the stand-up, got back in my car and drove right back.
	Of course, it was like two or three days.
	In my mind, it was like, just did it in a day.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, because it didn't matter.
	I didn't need to go to bed.
	I didn't need to eat.
	Just to tell other comedians have, too, yeah, you know, I featured out there in Helena.
	They're like, damn, really?
	You're like, yep.
	Yeah, last night.
	Big sky, baby.
	Big sky last night.
	Yeah.
	It's like, well, you're back today?
	Drove to the night.
	Couldn't stop, dude.
	No money for hotel.
	Had to keep going.
	Just caught a good downhill, closed my eyes for a minute.
	Threw it in neutral.
	Kicked my feet up and just fucking let it ride.
	4,000 miles later.
	Bro, you would drive, bro.
	I remember times thinking, okay, instead of catching a flight for $217, I'm going to rent this car for $19 and then drive it seven hours overnight to get to a cheaper airport where the flight will only be like $140.
	That's right.
	Because we need to save that.
	Just the couple of bucks back then meant everything.
	You needed to save it because otherwise.
	Your time had no value.
	No, non-zero.
	Because time didn't exist back then.
	It was like, I didn't need to be back for anything.
	It was like, if I can waste an extra day getting what I need done to get to where I need to go, what's the difference?
	I saved the money.
	You know, I didn't lose any money.
	Especially because you're nickel and dime on your way through anything.
	You're not eating at nice places.
	You're just going by whatever you need, right?
	Gas station food.
	I survived on gas station food for years.
	I just beef jerky and protein bars and stuff, like Gatorades.
	That's what I would just eat from full meals.
	I didn't have a dinner till I was like 30. Yeah.
	Like I didn't have like a real sit-down dinner till I was like late in my 20s.
	And then I started to eat, you know?
	Yeah.
	But before that, you just, you know, you just, you lived, you lived as cheaply and efficiently as you could.
	But now, you know, now you can eat a good meal once in a while.
	Yeah.
	When you want.
	I mean, I know you.
	You're out every night.
	You're out every night.
	Nobu Malibu eating sushi.
	You got your own table.
	I know.
	They fish live for you.
	Don't lie.
	I know the Fio table.
	I've seen it.
	Straight to table.
	I like the hook to be in there.
	Whoever gets the hook in their cut of fish has to buy the next meal.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Fish out there, hook in, then you buy.
	Do you ever do credit card roulette?
	Have you ever done that with friends?
	Now I'm kind of willing to do it, but for years I would see it go down.
	I'd be like, I can't get in this.
	I hated it.
	I used to have friends that did it all the time, and it drove me nuts.
	Did you have rich friends?
	Yeah, I had a lot of rich friends.
	Wow.
	I went to school with a lot of rich kids when I was in college.
	Yeah.
	A lot of kids.
	Did you go to Drake?
	Where did you go to school at?
	I went to Harvard of the West.
	Did you really?
	I went to Arizona State University.
	Oh, that's right.
	A very high-acclaimed university.
	Yeah.
	Because I went to University of Arizona for one semester.
	Tuxen, yeah.
	Real shit.
	It's a real shithole.
	Oh.
	Go ahead and say it.
	It is.
	It's like, what's the cousin who has the in Christmas vacation who has the fucking camp?
	Eddie.
	Yeah, that's Eddie.
	That's Eddie's campus.
	Yeah.
	Hey, Clark.
	Yeah, shitter's full.
	Yeah, that's exactly right.
	That's what it is down there.
	ASU was great.
	But yeah, I went to school with guys that had money because they came from California.
	Yeah.
	A lot of guys that can't get into Ivy Leagues and want to move away from where they are, their parents will send them to ASU.
	Well, because California has so many good schools.
	And if they don't want to go to a local school that isn't that good of a school, then they just go to Arizona just because it's a nice getaway, but it's close enough, you know?
	A lot of pool parties, a lot of cocaine.
	A lot of pool parties, a lot of cocaine.
	A lot of girls that are tens hooking up with sub-7s.
	I'm a six and a half, and I could get eights and nines out there.
	Yeah, it's great.
	You were over there eating cheek.
	Yeah, I was having nice, dude.
	I was steaking lobster every night.
	Meanwhile, I'm Denny's.
	You know what I mean?
	But like, damn, who installed a Denny's in this freaking Morton?
	Is that a norm's?
	What is that?
	Yeah, but that's the funny thing is like, there's so many hot guys and hot girls that at some point you're going to get something run off.
	You know what I'm saying when the hot truck of girls goes by and hits a speed bump, one of them bounces off?
	Where am I?
	You're here.
	No, at some point, it's like so many people were so hot that even like a girl that was a nine or something so beautiful.
	Yeah.
	The guys were already with the other hot girls.
	So she's like, you'll be fine.
	Like a nine would have to get like her pupils dilated for some condition she had and then you end up dating her for a while.
	And then three months later when her eyes went back to normal, she's like, oh my God.
	Yeah.
	I thought your hair was regular.
	Yeah.
	They never knew.
	Like, I thought you were different.
	Yeah, me too.
	You were different.
	Me too.
	I thought you were more symmetrical.
	I didn't know your face was that lopsided.
	You had to track.
	Like, she'd be like, oh, why is your bedroom a wedding chapel?
	We'd be like, look, I have to make ends meet.
	I got to do what I got to do.
	I have a marriage in 10 minutes, so you got to get out.
	I need a woman in my life.
	I got to do it.
	I got to do it.
	What was your first job out of school?
	Out of college?
	Yeah.
	What was your first job?
	Do you remember it?
	I was in college for about nine years.
	It took me a long time to get out of school.
	You and Bert.
	Bert did that.
	Yeah, Bert did that.
	I'm trying to think when I got out.
	Did you work?
	You worked your way through college, though, didn't you?
	Yeah, I don't know what I was doing.
	I was still doing, you know, I was doing MTV when I first started that, so that took up a good bit of my time.
	That's true.
	You were still doing TV, huh?
	Yeah, so that stuff was like, sometimes it would take you out of school, and then I would change my pay.
	I would be like, all right, I'm going to move here.
	I'm going to go live here.
	Yeah.
	Do you talk to any of those people from MTV?
	No.
	No.
	None of them.
	It literally feels like I didn't.
	It feels a different life.
	Yeah.
	Because when I met you, I didn't know about any of that stuff.
	Well, it was before that.
	Well, but even still, even after people referenced it, never knew it.
	Yeah.
	Like, I guess I was not attuned to it.
	Like, I had known what all those popular shows were.
	I had seen Real World when I was younger and all that stuff.
	But like, when I met you, even when I had known that you had done it in the past, it never registered to me.
	Was there a maybe because I never saw you or anything like that?
	Yeah.
	Was there a show that you liked?
	Like, what's one of your favorite reality shows every time?
	Did you ever watch For Love or Money or any of those?
	I loved What Was Flava Flaves show?
	Oh, yeah.
	I fucking love that show.
	Yeah, boy.
	When you met New York.
	New York is crazy, son.
	I love that.
	I thought that shit was wild because it was like, that dude had no filter.
	Yeah.
	When I first met, he didn't give a fuck.
	He gave no fucks.
	Like, that girl's booty is too small.
	And they'd leave it in.
	They didn't give Brigitte, me and Brigitte.
	That's right.
	Bro, he's easily the first black to conceive a child with a 70-year-old wife on it.
	I know.
	Bro, and he's ageless.
	This dude would laugh at me.
	Look, I'm going to give you the name Nicorette.
	Nicorette.
	You got me quitting all these other bitches.
	He'd always have weird names.
	Oh, your name is Booty Hole.
	Your name is Booty Ho, you know?
	Dude, when I worked in the music industry, one of my first day jobs out here.
	Yeah.
	Let's restate it.
	I've worked in the music industry.
	I worked in the music industry.
	I used to plan tours.
	Yeah, one of my day jobs was getting visas for bands to travel around the world, like tour management, tour planning.
	This dude, what is that?
	That's Howard Cernan Blackface.
	Sorry, I just thought he looks exactly like Flavor Flave.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, this is Howard Cerner.
	When did Howard Cern do Blackface?
	Huh?
	When was that from?
	Whenever he wanted him, man, he's got that kind of money.
	Yeah, I guess you can just come and go, huh?
	Here's the thing.
	You got to be rich enough to leak your own BF photo.
	Well, here's what's so funny about Blackface.
	Like, they tried to get Jimmy Kimmel recently, right?
	They did.
	And then he had to, like, apologize or whatever.
	I don't think he's going to be back.
	You don't think he what?
	I don't think Jimmy Kimmel is going to be back on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
	No way.
	He might not be back.
	No way.
	Why?
	Because of the Blackface?
	It's not a real thing.
	That was so long ago.
	He took off the whole summer.
	Yep, they always take off the summer.
	The late night show hosts.
	And also, late night shows, they always take off the summer.
	They always have a guest break.
	And they do this a lot where they bring in people.
	I mean, this is back to Carson days.
	Carson used to let Leno and Letterman guest host.
	But this is not a new thing.
	Also, he's taken off the summer to be with his family.
	I don't think it's because of that.
	I also think doing late night right now must suck.
	I mean, look at it.
	They're letting our friends do it.
	I know, it's insane.
	And it must suck for the hosts that usually do it because you're in a studio with an audience.
	You're used to the rhythm.
	Now they're doing it from their house or from a studio that looks like their house.
	I'm sure guys like Jimmy just aren't loving that, to be real.
	It has nothing to do with Blackface.
	And I know Jimmy.
	Jimmy is the shit, a hilarious, smart, cool dude.
	That whole sketch that they did, the Blackface sketch, like give anything context and you'll understand why they did it.
	Right.
	Ted Danson did blackface and Wobby Goldberg was all supportive of it and was like, it was at my birthday.
	It was a joke.
	So why didn't Ted Danson get fucking ruined?
	Well, because context means everything.
	If you're doing blackface, you know, at a Nazi Hitler party, yeah, hard to talk your way out of.
	But if you did it for a TV show sketch, get the fuck out of here.
	What are we talking?
	At some point, what are we talking about?
	Well, because also it's like if people co-signed it at that time and nobody said anything, like, it just all goes into how often, what can you go, you could go back to something in everybody's life.
	Always.
	And who are they?
	Like, obviously, Jimmy Kimmel, it doesn't seem like he is a person who is trying to offend, but he's had tons of black people on his television show.
	You know, it doesn't add up that, oh, it's not the same thing.
	No, it's not the same thing.
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	These guys don't F around.
	Y'all feel me there.
	Gang.
	But that's the thing is people don't care sometimes.
	They just want to get infuriated.
	They want to get triggered.
	Yeah.
	Well, but it bleeds over.
	Look at what Twitter has done publicly to a lot of stuff.
	It's turned things into shit that never existed, right?
	Like, look at what's happened to Ellen.
	Ellen's getting murdered, bro, because of Twitter.
	They're saying she might lose her show.
	You want to talk about someone that might lose their show, not Jimmy Kimmel.
	Ellen might get fucked.
	But she's notoriously been a real piece of shit.
	But that being said, being a piece of shit isn't illegal.
	Isn't a crime.
	You're right.
	It's not a crime.
	I don't agree with certain, but also, I don't even know what she did.
	That's true.
	Like, my whole thing is, like, did she say she outright say, like, I don't hire fucking Asians or derogatory comments out loud?
	No.
	Gays, humpback.
	Right.
	I don't hire gays.
	I don't hire one eyes.
	She doesn't do that.
	No.
	That's true.
	She has a diverse people on her show.
	Every fucking day.
	And also, there's a thing about, look, at a certain level of power, at a certain level of prestige, a lot of your character defects are going to be magnified so much.
	Like, you know, there's just no way to do it.
	Like, she's basically, it's almost like, I will say this, it's like a corporation.
	Like, people are always like, these big corporations, you know, they're killing out, you know, Kraft macaroni killed my son, you know?
	Even though your son never, you know, never ate a vegetable his whole life.
	Had nothing to do with it.
	You know, he was in an auto accident.
	But it's like people always want to blame big corporations because they get too big and they can't manage things at a comfortable level.
	I mean, Ellen is a corporation.
	She is like a Trump tower.
	Like she's like a huge building.
	She's a business.
	It's not a person anymore.
	So if the person on the first floor of the building is upset that they don't get treated a certain way, you know, some of that could be because there's 40 floors of business that have been operating.
	So whatever trickle-down kindness, it's just not there, you know?
	Well, it's also, didn't they say it was more her producers than her?
	Like from what I read, it was like a lot of, they said the executive producers were abusive in their approach or whatever, and it wasn't a lot of her.
	There wasn't a lot of quotes from her that I heard about her saying shit.
	Now, whether or not people say she was mean to them or disrespectful or whatever, that is what it is.
	But again, like we said, that's not against the law to be mean.
	It's not cool, but I don't understand.
	Why can't we just have a talk about it?
	Do we want people to change and get better or no?
	That's a great question.
	Do we want people to change or we just want to burn them to the ground?
	Because I've yet to find a quote, if you can find it, where it's like, direct from Ellen said, fuck black people, said Ellen.
	Like, I've never, I haven't seen that yet.
	I've just seen them say.
	Fuck dancers.
	See, look at it.
	That's vague.
	Yeah, that's super vague.
	That's everybody.
	Right.
	Dude, half my friends are alleged racists, bro.
	A former employee say Ellen's be kind talk show mantra is a toxic war culture.
	Yeah, it's just it's just that's vague statements.
	That's like anything else.
	You know who said, you know what somebody said?
	Like somebody had a great talk with me about Chris Hardwick's thing, you know, when they said Hardwick, his ex said he was emotionally abusive.
	Yeah, and.
	Who is him?
	It's hard to be alive.
	But emotional abuse, what is that?
	That's a really vague term.
	Yeah, that's like a stepdad.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Like, also, my wife said this.
	What past relationship of yours, your ex, wasn't emotionally abusive, man or woman?
	You hated each other at the end.
	I bet you were fucking mean to each other when it was over.
	What current relationship, there isn't some emotional abuse?
	Abuse, of course.
	And manipulation because you guys are fighting over certain things and everything is context, but we don't know what was going on inside of that world.
	I don't know what's going on inside of that fucking world because, like you said, that's a big building, dude.
	Yeah, you're right.
	And Ellen's in the pen.
	Ellen's in the fire.
	I'm saying Ellen's a piece of shit.
	I don't know any different.
	Yeah, here's my.
	You know what else?
	I don't watch the show.
	So it's another world that I'm not connected to that I don't really care about.
	So unless she outright said, you know, Filipinos are the lowest rung of human on earth.
	If she said some shit like that, then I go, damn, Ellen, what the fuck?
	That's edgy.
	Yeah, but until then.
	That's false, too.
	And that's very false because they're great.
	They're great.
	It's the Thai people that we don't like.
	Everybody knows that.
	Well, I don't want to say who it is, but it's the mix is the Tines, they call them.
	The Tines, dude.
	I mean, I work with a Korean, and I have net.
	Oh, we have one in here sometimes on Tuesday.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, yeah.
	Try to kill us all.
	North?
	Huh?
	Huh?
	Who is it?
	I don't know if he's North or South.
	Is he North or South?
	I don't know either.
	No papers?
	Yeah.
	I work with a Korean every day, me and Robert.
	And I got to tell you, I was never, ever racist towards Koreans until I started working with them.
	But it opens up a new light.
	You really start to see, you really start to see who you hate.
	And that's why I still work with them because I want to just, you keep your enemies close.
	And that's bad friends.
	That's bad friends.
	And that's bad friends.
	You keep your enemies close.
	And that's bad friends.
	No, I think this whole thing, everything can get pulled out of context.
	I'll tell you why I even think this.
	For one, I'm jealous probably of Ellen.
	Yeah.
	That she had, I feel like she's, at this point, she's gone to the point where she's taking a job from a young man, it seems like.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's kind of how I look when I see her.
	I'm like, damn, she's taking some young fella's job.
	Some young dude's job.
	Now, I'm not saying that's a right way for me to think or feel either, but that is a thought that comes to my head.
	The second one is a friend of mine used to work security for her at her house.
	Private, like personal security?
	Yes.
	And said that she was a complete asshole.
	But also, now that guy was a nice guy.
	He was a little bit bow-legged, honestly.
	No, I don't trust bow-legged people.
	Well.
	How did you get that way?
	Huh?
	How'd you get that way?
	What era did you come from?
	Your parents break your knees when you were young?
	That freaking polio bad boy.
	Or it's privileged because you rode horses or animals a lot.
	If you rode a lot of animals, you can get bow-legged.
	Well, if you rode a real small animal, then you're like, Yeah.
	Yeah, you don't get bow-legged.
	But if you're privileged, you get to ride big animals, big more bow.
	You bow up.
	Yeah, the bigger the bow, the bigger the privilege.
	That's what I say.
	And so that's where a lot of my, you know, I guess my disdain comes from.
	And I think I just have a general disdain sometimes for that culture.
	Now, if she asked me to be on her show next weekend, I might have a different opinion.
	I don't think you would go.
	You know?
	I don't think you would go on Ellen.
	I don't know.
	Imagine if she asked you to dance.
	Would you go out there dancing all the way down the aisle?
	No.
	Theo Vaughn.
	And that DJ and the DJ is like, what's up, Theo?
	And you have to do that thing.
	You're like, what up, dog?
	Yeah, you got to do that all the time.
	Hey, Stanley.
	Hey, diverse person.
	I could just even imagine.
	I don't even need to know who the DJ is.
	I'm just like, hey, diverse person.
	He's like, what up, what up?
	But would you go on there?
	You would.
	On Ellen?
	Yeah.
	No.
	I couldn't.
	I would have no business.
	What would I do on Ellen?
	You're more of an actor.
	You do acting.
	Yeah, but they're not.
	I mean, you know, if anybody from my show, they would have little Dickie.
	They would have like, I'm not the star of that show.
	Even if I was the star of a show, Ellen wouldn't be where I would go to promote the show.
	Because nothing I would make would be Ellen's audience.
	Right.
	Ellen's audience is moms, middle-aged women mostly, you know?
	Yeah.
	Like, they wouldn't like me.
	You know, like the content I put out, that's not what they like at all.
	I mean, kudos to those that are broad enough, but I think what we make is a little bit more specific than that.
	Acting or not.
	That'd be too hard.
	They'd be like, ugh, I don't like the language he used on this podcast I heard.
	So, no.
	What would I go on?
	I mean, I would slit a throat to be on Stern.
	Would you?
	I love Stern.
	I've always loved the guy.
	I mean, like, I love the show.
	I've done the wrap-up show because I know Gary.
	I'm very too.
	Yeah, and those guys are fucking John Hines.
	Those guys are adope.
	They're the nicest.
	And they have the most fun.
	They don't give a shit.
	There's no rules.
	They kind of let you be you.
	Sometimes you go on shows and they like dictate how you're supposed to be.
	You know, and they shut you out and they don't make you feel welcome.
	And you're like, all right, well, I guess, you know, I'm just filling a gap for two minutes.
	But those guys let you do it.
	I just, I want to be on that, on the show one day to talk to him.
	That's a good goal, man.
	You know what?
	Sometimes I feel like I keep myself out of my own goals with judgment.
	Why?
	You know, I don't know.
	Would you want to be on Howard?
	I don't know if I would.
	I mean, I don't know if it.
	Do you like him at all?
	I like him.
	He's not a big fan.
	You like him just fine.
	I used to be a massive fan, and then just time-wise, I don't get to listen to it anymore because I'm not in my car listening to Sirius anymore.
	But I used to love it.
	You know what I loved about the guy, honestly, that in the sake of how we're comedians and we can joke around like I did before.
	I'm joking about not liking Koreans and one of my best friends is Korean.
	Totally.
	We can throw that away and have a joke and then go back to something real.
	He does that a lot, which I like, that he's able to just go, fuck it.
	If you can't tell the difference in when I'm kidding and when I'm not, that's on you.
	Like, get fucking, get real.
	Yeah, he used to be a lot more like that, I feel like.
	I mean, he's definitely a legend.
	I think also he's getting older and it's getting harder.
	The show is obviously getting harder to do.
	It's tough.
	You're making content every day.
	All of it's tough.
	Yeah, that's hard.
	I just think.
	And you change, too.
	Yeah, he's probably not the same person he was 20 years ago.
	Not even close.
	He's like a vegan who paints and does yoga every year.
	You know what I mean?
	He's completely changed, which is cool to watch his.
	He's a Jewish Diamond Dallas page, really.
	He's Jewish?
	Huh?
	Is he Jewish?
	Howard Stern?
	Oh, God, I'm not listening anymore.
	I didn't know.
	I didn't know.
	Imagine 25 years.
	Oh, no.
	No.
	He is.
	He is.
	He's the Jewish.
	He's the Jewish Diamond Dallas page.
	He really is.
	Are you a wrestling guy?
	All the jokes that we do about wrestling, do you watch it?
	Oh, the truth is, man, if I had to be real honest, there was a guy in our, I don't want to say our neighborhood, but in our, probably an adjacent neighborhood that trained wrestlers when I was growing up.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And did you get trained?
	Huh?
	No, but I'd go watch.
	You'd go check it out.
	And I'd try to get in there, and I got the britches one time for Christmas or something.
	Yeah.
	And they got me some shitty ones.
	You know, all they had, they got me one at the Ballet Surplus or whatever, somewhere and some fucking little Billy Elliott's out there.
	Hand-me-downs.
	Oh, yeah.
	I look like a damn newsie, you know.
	I look like a newsie.
	You're selling papers and watching training?
	I look like a newsie at the gym, you know.
	But I'd go over there and watch them, you know, and the guy had a ring set up in his own yard, you know, and they'd throw him off the ropes and do the body slam, you know.
	Love that.
	And they had this one wrestler guy who was, I don't want to say mentally disabled, but probably had autism.
	This is before they had autism.
	So it was just like, oh, that guy's a fucking, you know, strong.
	Yeah.
	And it would be like this guy, Fireboy, was his wrestling thing, you know?
	Fireboy.
	And he had like the pants.
	Yeah, with the flames on the side.
	And some kind of Doc Martens, but before Doc Martens, you know, Nurse Martens, you know?
	This guy had like these lace up boots, and he wrote Fireboy on each one, you know?
	And I'd go over there and watch them train the guy.
	Are you sure it wasn't?
	And then they were on drugs.
	Are you sure it wasn't Andrew?
	Yeah, it would have been.
	Was it me?
	Fireboy?
	What if it would have been?
	But dude, I'll tell you, I'll say this and I'll say this again, man.
	I still don't understand why some of the podcast people do not make a wrestling script.
	This is a good thing.
	I know we talk about this.
	I don't have any wrestling in my blood, though.
	Who cares?
	Yeah, but I don't even enjoy it.
	It's not for me.
	Then you can still do it.
	Have you seen wrestling, dude?
	I know, but there's something about wrestling characters.
	I don't like typing.
	Have you ever been angry at a costume party?
	Yeah.
	That's wrestling, bro.
	I know.
	I mean, no, I have.
	I got no fight with a guy at a costume party.
	That's wrestling, dude.
	It's just the Halloween.
	Yeah, but we really fought.
	Yeah, bro.
	Oh, that's a good idea.
	We really fought.
	Then that's not how it fits.
	Yeah, we really got into a fist fight.
	No, I don't like...
	I didn't like, I don't think I like the boots and the pants.
	I didn't like tight pants on men in boots.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, like, well, they're in jeans.
	I guess I could do it if they were all wearing jeans.
	And this guy, his whole thing is like apathy.
	He doesn't take his hands out of his pocket.
	He kind of hates the whole thing.
	That could be you.
	That's me.
	I'm just, yeah, apathetic Andrew.
	Tommy Dreamer.
	Well, see, that's my thing.
	You know, I know they actually slap him too.
	Carl Lentz, the pastor?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I just, it's not for me.
	Yeah, this is getting weird.
	It's not for me.
	Yeah.
	Something about it misses for me.
	It's just like, look, and I like theatrics.
	I know that it's all a big play.
	I think it's cool.
	The idea is cool.
	Some things have gone on too long.
	Some things which are institutions have gone on too long.
	I do think a lot of times.
	But then some things went away for no reason.
	Do you know what High Lai is?
	I've seen that scooper.
	High Lai, yeah.
	You know, that was one of the most popular sports in the world at one time.
	No way.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	One of the most spectated sports in the world at one point in time.
	Put a Highline name.
	Put a High Lai.
	Especially because in India, it was huge.
	You're talking, you know...
	It's not working.
	It's never going to come back.
	But that's Jory Cornbitt.
	He's one of the most famous.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	But this game is fucking insane.
	It's in a court?
	Yeah, and the balls get thrown 170 miles an hour or something.
	It's just, it's a wild, but it's a wild, cool sport to watch.
	But it'll never come back.
	I can't tell you why.
	I don't know what the appeal, I don't, I don't know why it lost this cool appeal of watching people do that, just huck that ball.
	When you listen to the echo of the ball off the wall, too, it's daunting.
	It's like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that.
	Really?
	It's crazy.
	But look at how hard they fucking whip that thing.
	And you get hit in the face with that, you're gone, bro.
	Oh, they got to wear the helmet, too.
	Yeah, but people get hit all the time.
	Really?
	Yeah, yeah, people get hit all the time.
	It's fun.
	That kind of stuff, but that loses its luster.
	Right.
	It's gone.
	But now, what about female roller derby?
	Did you ever watch that when it was on TV with the kids?
	But they hurt each other.
	That's why I love that.
	See, I love the physical real pain.
	I love to watch someone get clipped or taken out.
	Yeah, that's why I love football.
	Same thing.
	I'll tell you, one time I went to the USC Stadium.
	Yeah.
	And it was Super Bowl Day.
	And they had the women's tackle football going on down there, right?
	It was like halftime.
	I think they were doing like, I don't know, something during that day.
	They were putting on a game.
	And it's pretty lame to say, you know, I forego watching the Super Bowl.
	I guess it was two teams I didn't care about or something.
	And I went down there to watch that women's tackle football game.
	Yeah.
	And they lit each other up.
	I love it.
	You've seen lingerie football.
	You've seen that, right?
	Maybe that's what it was.
	Yes.
	Okay, so that's what it was.
	Oh, my God.
	It was hot with the pads on.
	They did broke some of these chips.
	You should pull up that highlight reel of those girls.
	They clip each other.
	And there's also, they're able to get away with more of the NFL doesn't let anymore, like horse collar.
	You can still horse collar in that.
	There was a pigtail on the thing in front.
	I mean, look at that.
	She's blatantly throwing her shoulder.
	Yeah.
	At her neck, you know, like, oof, ooh.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	Wow.
	Dang, that girl and shilt and somebody.
	They just are straight fighting.
	Some of these chicks will shoot upright into the middle of the tit.
	I think fighting is all legal, too.
	I think it's legit.
	Oh.
	Damn.
	It's an incredible game.
	This should be way more popular.
	Bro, and I'm getting mildly erect, brother.
	I really am.
	Which is good because I actually ended up masturbating yesterday.
	So to get an erection the day after, I'm masturbating.
	That's really good.
	You're able to fill up again?
	Oh.
	I can't get a tank in that fast.
	Very rare.
	So I didn't know this was going to do it for me.
	This is it.
	Now I know how to pique your interest.
	Ooh.
	Now, some of the ass cheeks get a little small the stronger the women get.
	Well, yeah, you got to.
	Yeah, you can't hold out all that weight.
	Some of the running backs.
	Ooh, whoa.
	Oh, yeah.
	Fill her up, dude.
	See, this is a way to handle daddy issues.
	Don't go stripping.
	Get out on the field and beat the shit out of another girl.
	Now, the problem, I think, is just the money.
	They don't get paid enough.
	I'm sure they don't get paid shit.
	Yeah.
	Well, there's not enough money to be made.
	You know, like, you got to have more fans.
	But that's the thing.
	It's like, this should be a bigger sport.
	This should be a way bigger sport.
	Dude, you know what I'm realizing?
	Sometimes I don't even really want to have sex.
	I just want to put my penis in there.
	Just let it sit and soak?
	No, just get...
	As long as you get it in, it's like it's...
	That's enough, really?
	Yeah, really hardcore.
	Mormons.
	Mormons will call it, it's called soaking.
	Wow.
	They're allowed to put it in.
	They just can't make friction.
	It's hard, though.
	You got to sneak it in there and let it sit for a second.
	Like for an operation, kind of.
	Don't touch the sides.
	You got to let it soak for a while, dude.
	That's scary, bro.
	Yeah.
	Dude, you got to let it soak.
	Well, because the thrusting is a lot of work, Right?
	Oh, it's all a lot of work, dude.
	Have you ever worked with Brendan Schaub?
	It's a lot.
	That's a lot of work.
	It's an uphill, like Atlas, that guy who pushes that ball up that hill.
	You ever seen that guy from Greek mythology?
	And it always keeps falling down on him.
	Yeah.
	And no matter how close you get to the top, it's always coming.
	And that's the same thing.
	No, that's why that ball always works.
	That's Sisyphus, right?
	Sisyphus never was able to get it up there.
	Thick boy.
	I was like, why does this ball of a thick boy bike love shirt on?
	Dude, he loves the biking, huh?
	Oh, dude, it's crazy.
	I was like, is he sponsored by Bike?
	Is Bike sponsoring him?
	I feel like he got so into bikes overnight.
	He's like, oh, bro, I'm fucking 25 miles today up this hill.
	I'm like, good for you, dude.
	Dude, yeah, I'm phony Hulk.
	He will.
	That's the thing about Brendan.
	People knock him.
	The one thing that he is that inspires me is that he is a hard worker.
	Yes, he's committed.
	Who else can go from one thing to the next?
	Right, he jumps all in.
	Find their footing in it.
	Football, fighting, podcasting, comedy.
	And biking.
	And freaking bike.
	He gets sponsored by Bike, the company Bike, who made it like Q-Tip.
	Really?
	All the bikes sponsored him.
	Wow.
	Any bike company he wants.
	Thick boy.
	His Instagram has become like an autistic kid's Instagram.
	It'll just be, he'll be like, big snake on road.
	Picture's a snake.
	Oh, yeah.
	Here's a danger noodle.
	Yeah, he pulls a snake like he hasn't seen.
	You've seen one every day.
	It's not a mystery anymore.
	Now it's a nuisance.
	To me, I'd go, God, for these fucking snakes.
	He's like, whoa, here's another sandwinder.
	Whoa.
	The best is the other day he's like flags down some lady biking.
	He flags her down and let her know there's a snake there.
	And she doesn't give a fuck.
	He's like, whatever, loser.
	It just drives by.
	Is he into motorcycles?
	Is he up there yet?
	He is.
	It's on his calendar, but I don't know.
	I think it's 2022.
	2022.
	He'll get into those sit bikes, you know, with the big sides on them.
	Like the Mexicans have out here?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, the beach beach cruisers.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	I'm talking about the ones where the older people and it has like the little case on the thing for a Gatorade.
	Yeah.
	You have a little picnic basket in the side.
	Yeah.
	You got your sandwich in there, honey.
	You want a bologna?
	I got you baloney.
	Bologna extra mayo.
	He's going to ask me why we said this about him.
	I know, but it's all because he's addicted.
	When he gets involved in something, it becomes obsessive.
	He's obsessed with bike culture now.
	Now it's like, it's not like where you say, if you were like, yeah, man, I just got into, you know, jiu-jitsu.
	Like, if you just got into it.
	I'm sure you would like it and really get into it, but it wouldn't consume me.
	Like, when Brendan gets into something, it's like all-consuming.
	Again.
	Yeah, he's an athletic addict, right?
	He's addicted to athletics.
	Or he'll buy the chef's hat and then he gets the spoon set.
	Right, right.
	And then he gets the knives.
	Then he wants to make the knives.
	Yeah.
	Then he gets the cheese grater and he does it all.
	Right.
	Then he starts making his own cheese.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	This guy gets all the way in.
	I like things, but then I can't get, if I get too involved, I know I'll go crazy.
	So I have to from a distance, you know?
	If you've ever walked into a scent establishment to get that smell, to get that upper on your body, to get that, you know, you want something that smells good across your body.
	You know, it used to be the old days you would carry something with you that smelled good.
	You'd carry a rose or carry a muffin, something to get the other sex or the same sex, depending on what you love, to come over to you or to get anything to come over to you.
	You wanted to have some kind of scent, something coming off of you.
	Well, I want to tell you right now that Hawthorne is the company that cares about how you smell and the essence that you give off into the world.
	You know, I'm still using the same cologne that I had when I was in high school.
	You know, probably it's, I think it's called Ralph Lorraine CK1 online polo sport.
	The same one everybody has, right?
	But Hawthorne now has a quiz that can help you find an updated scent that really caters to who you are.
	The quiz is, it's really, it's personalized.
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	You know, how moisture, how moisture do you like your skin?
	It really, it gets to know you.
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	On a, you know, on a scale of this to that.
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	You just got to update.
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	You know, if you want a new life and you want to attract new things, you need to go into it with a new body attitude.
	And Hawthorne will give you that.
	What do you think about when you see these guys doing the drive-in shows and some of these new opportunities that are coming up for stand-up?
	I talked to Segura about it.
	Okay.
	But I'll be real with you when I say this.
	I know this sounds annoying, but I think stand-up isn't going to come back for a long time.
	And I mean it from a personal level.
	I've done so much searching inside about it.
	I just don't think it's going to be the same when it does come back.
	So I was talking to Schultz last night about this.
	And I was like, man, you know, what we're making, this kind of stuff, this is our stand-up current future right now.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because this is more fun than trying to do a digital show to me, you know, and perform to an audience that's not there.
	Because this is the same.
	They're there, they're watching, But I don't have to wait for their response or know that they're engaged.
	They can engage on their own.
	Who are they?
	The audience.
	Yeah, who's ever watching, whenever they're watching this.
	But like those live shows on Zoom and all that, I just don't know if it's for me.
	I've been offered a few times.
	I don't know that I can, I don't know if that's my shit.
	But the drive-in shows, the, you know, Bert's doing, I called him too, and I talked to him about it.
	He's having a lot of fun.
	We were trying to plan a tour with me and Bobby to go do that, and it just didn't work out.
	The schedules was too hot.
	It was too hard to get to one city the next, and it costs a shitload of money to put those on outside.
	Because these aren't pre-established venues.
	It's not like going to a club that the building's already there with this lights and the sound.
	They have to build this shit outside.
	And they're hoping that multiple people like us do it so they can keep the venue up, keep the permits, but it's very costly.
	You'd think you'd be able to go and set up a tent.
	Yeah, but even still, you've got to pay staff.
	You have to have union.
	You have to have sound engineers.
	you have to, people who build stages.
	I mean, you know, it's just kind of like If you're going to small town.
	Yeah, you have to hit somebody off, and then even still, they're going to want to be hit what they should have got from the union.
	Either way, no matter how you shake it, I don't know if it's worth it for me right now.
	If I was as big as Bert or Segura, yeah, maybe it's worth it for them to go get 500 cars in a parking lot.
	I just don't know.
	Also, I feel weird inviting people to go out and not be able to touch them and interact with them and see them and be, you know, have those moments in a room when you're with people, it's just irreplaceable.
	And I don't know.
	Yeah, because I'm sure, you know, I got invited the other day to do a show where the televisions are in front of you.
	There's a guy haunting the game.
	Yeah, they invited me to the house.
	Great guy, puts on a lot of awesome shows.
	And apparently there's like 20 screens in front of you where you can see the audience, actually, see them right there in front of you.
	That's interesting.
	Yeah, it is.
	No, it's cool.
	I did tell him.
	I said it looked really cool, but I also know my habits as a performer, and I don't know if that would cater to my habits.
	I really enjoy feeding off the live energy of people.
	I'm significantly better in pressure situations where it's live and big than I am in those where there's almost no pressure because it's digital.
	There's a lot of growing room.
	And it's almost like there's almost no pressure, which I don't really like.
	I think the pressure of live is why I like it so much.
	It's like, we paid to see you, bitch.
	You better rip.
	And when you do, it's like, it works, you know?
	Whereas there, there's a disconnect.
	And it's okay if it doesn't work great because both people know that this is a weird medium of comedy.
	Yeah, that's interesting.
	It almost caters.
	It almost seems like it caters to that the reward isn't actually being good.
	The reward isn't actually being funny.
	The reward is their kindness.
	Because then people might act like they're laughing or laugh out of like, haha, you know.
	Yeah, one of those things.
	But yeah, just because that's how they're supposed to look like they're behaving because you're not going to be able to hear their audio.
	Right.
	They're just going to hear you.
	So then it's going to become this world where you're performing for virtually for people.
	Everybody's pretending that they're having a good time because they paid to be there.
	And it's just going to be.
	See, I'm worried about that.
	I'm just worried.
	I think it's good for people that are doing it and that it's working for them because there are people.
	So I'm not hating them.
	Right.
	No, I'm not hating them.
	Because I might do it.
	I just wonder if the reward, if it's creating a reward system that is different than the original being on stage and getting, you know, and feeling that moment between you and them and forcing a laugh out, you know, like some people laugh because they have, there's, it's not, they're laughing because they want to.
	They laugh because you.
	The rhythm.
	Yes, you did it.
	You made them laugh.
	You did the job.
	Whereas if it just looks like I'm supposed to be doing a certain thing, then I might just do that thing.
	Well, because, you know, it's how people, they always talk about how people react when they know a camera's watching them.
	So, you know, like there's someone in the streets, you know, they're going to react different if they have a camera on them.
	They start to function different.
	Their eyes, their movements, everything becomes hyper-aware that they're on camera.
	So when they're on camera watching you, they know you see them now.
	Versus in the room, you don't see audience members.
	You just hear them.
	If they're laughing, they're laughing.
	And if they don't like the joke, they'll sit there and smile politely.
	You know, if they're not a fan of the joke, they're like, oh, you know, that's okay.
	And those guys, you can tell, usually, I bet they hit their girlfriends.
	There's always that guy.
	100%.
	There's always that guy you see up front.
	You kind of look at the girl and just, I always look at her and let her know.
	It's okay.
	And if you need to go, we can go.
	Yeah, just, you know, I know what's going on.
	You should have a help code when you start the show.
	Ladies, if you're here with your man and he's abusive and he doesn't want to be here, you know, we should have a help code.
	Order that salmon.
	Yeah.
	I'll take a salmon, then I know you're ready to go.
	Yeah.
	You come with me, we'll save you.
	Yeah, there's always a guy or two at the show that's not enjoying the show because he's mad that you're doing the thing that he doesn't do, right?
	Because he hates his job or whatever, and he's annoyed that his friends like you.
	And he's like, I'm not really a fan.
	But I came with them, but they love you, but whatever.
	Good to meet you.
	It was pretty funny.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you're not, stand-up, I don't think, is going to come back for, I don't know, summer next year.
	I think the vaccine has to be the thing to give people the, I think to give people the comfort level.
	It's more about comfort.
	I start to, do you start to feel, I started to feel this this week, like every Monday, I start to feel like, wow, okay, we get a little further from the existence that we knew.
	Dude, Sundays usually make my old lady depressed because work on Monday is like a whole thing for her.
	You know, that's like a startup again.
	It's like, oh, shit, I have a big week ahead of me.
	And I never got it because our weeks bled together, right?
	We don't really know what, you know, it's like I've got shows every night of the week or we're on the road or so Monday and Sunday weren't significant days, but they are now because Sunday, to me, is this end of a week for me.
	And Monday is like, how many more of these weeks are going to happen without us having the ability to go do whatever I need to do?
	Because I was saying it, I feel like forced retirement.
	I don't like it.
	I feel like I've been forced to retire from stand-up.
	You know, it's kind of like if you meet someone that retires too early, they usually get depressed.
	You don't get to do the thing that you love.
	I have no outlet.
	I can't go work out at night.
	It kills me.
	You know, it kills me not to go to the club and work out new shitty jokes.
	But now, what are things?
	Yeah, yeah, I feel you.
	I start to feel like, okay, the interesting thing is each time I started to, I just finally started to notice.
	I was like, oh man, I'm starting to think like we're getting further away from the life that we knew to the point where it's interesting, this new one becomes the norm.
	This is it.
	Strap in.
	This is it.
	Because a lot of me still thinks, oh, this is just such a temporary thing.
	No, I don't think so anymore.
	But do you feel that too a little bit where you're like it slips away?
	Whatever was before starts to slip away and this slowly becomes about a month ago, I've therapeutically admitted to myself and people around me, friends and family, that I'm like, the new norm is going to be, we're never going to go back to what it was.
	This is going to be the future.
	Do you think so?
	No, no way.
	I don't.
	I really don't.
	I think we will inherently, time will change us for the better.
	We will adapt.
	This is all going to change.
	I think jumping back into what we thought was normal will never happen ever again.
	I just don't think so.
	It'll be a new normal, but it will be okay as well.
	But we will function significantly differently.
	I mean, you look at anything like any kind of societal turn, right?
	A big flip, whether it's the internet and the takeover of what the internet did.
	Yeah.
	Or flu or something.
	But anything that's just a big change in our society inherently changed us forever.
	And we did it.
	Yeah, we did it.
	We did it okay.
	Yeah, we did it fine.
	We fixed it.
	We created new jobs because of it, right?
	The Industrial Revolution created fucking an entire new society for us.
	Did it create other problems and put other things out of business?
	Yeah.
	Is stand-up going to go out of business?
	The power drill fucking changed the whole world.
	Everything.
	Everything.
	The power hammer.
	Yeah.
	Didn't work.
	Oh, the jackhammer?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, but it led to the jackhammer.
	It led to the jackhammer, right?
	The first one.
	The power hammer was not.
	You pull up power hammer?
	Power hammer didn't work.
	Jackhammer worked.
	Power hand hammer.
	Power hand hammer.
	Yeah, I think we're going to function at a higher level in a different way.
	That's all.
	We just have to find new ways to do it, which is why I applaud the people doing the fucking, doing those shows online because you got to try.
	You got to swing the bat.
	Right.
	Try it.
	Yeah, I think the reason why I haven't gotten into the shows online is because I'm like, are there enough of these yet where I can go and do two and three in a night?
	Do a bunch, right?
	So that I can actually cultivate the material and ruminate it as opposed to just going and doing a one-off.
	Are you going to dump all the old stuff that you were doing before or no?
	Well, I'll have a special with Netflix set up.
	So hopefully I'll dump it into there.
	But when's that going to be filmed?
	Right.
	See, that's what I feel like.
	That's a good question.
	But at a certain point, they'll just be like, they're going to need material.
	They're just going to be like, look, shoot it at a, you know.
	Starbucks.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Shoot it at Starbucks.
	Cold brew?
	Cold brew for Micah?
	You're slinging junk.
	I just think, I think, but I think they need to, but I think this is a good opportunity for Netflix to film or let people film at very unique and different places instead of a traditional theater.
	Like, let's do it at a different kind of venue, right?
	Yeah, I think about that, but then I think you see outdoors ones are just a little bit more.
	No, not outdoor.
	Do an indoor one.
	Well, bring up that boat thing that Nick, what's his name had in here?
	Who?
	That hand hammer never worked.
	Never, ever.
	Power crank.
	Look at that.
	Concepts.
	Yeah, remember that thing that Tim Dylan had?
	The boat, the drive-in boat show?
	This guy's so funny.
	I loved him.
	It's unbelievable the stuff he says.
	He goes, yeah, well, he shoots for the moon.
	He sounds like a real Slimball.
	He is.
	He's our generation's Rush.
	Yeah.
	Except he's sober now.
	Yeah.
	Rush is on pills.
	Yeah.
	Rush is pilled out.
	Cinema-equipped.
	Social distancing boats coming to Los Angeles.
	Love it.
	Floating cinema.
	Yeah, great.
	That's just rich people.
	Yeah, if you're rich enough, that's great.
	Dude, here's the crazy thing that rich people do, too.
	Oh, let's go to this graveyard and watch a movie.
	Love it.
	You sit on the dead.
	Yeah.
	You let them know that you're above them.
	Yeah.
	Synespia.
	Have you ever been there?
	To Hollywood Forever Cemetery?
	Synespia?
	That's what I did.
	It broke my heart, though, seeing that.
	All these rich people having a little cheese on top of fucking, you know, Henry Ford or something.
	Ingmar Bergman and stuff like that.
	Yeah, I love that.
	I love eating that old dead Hollywood people.
	It just shows how little we mean, right?
	Oh, totally.
	It shows how this town, you mean nothing.
	You mean something for this long, and then you're Ellen, and then they kill you.
	And then you go sit on Ellen's grave and you watch, you know.
	But isn't that part of the thing, though?
	It's like they built, now it's become such a system.
	They build you up and then they tear you down.
	Yeah, they're excited for it.
	But we've always done that.
	I think.
	Yeah, look at the Bible even.
	Yeah, they have to take down someone that's at the top.
	Because it feels you raise someone up because you're impressed, and then when you have societally raised them up, then you get tired of their success because inherently they have more than you.
	They're bigger than you.
	So they have to kind of peel you down a little bit.
	And it almost, and we all need to be, it's like we're all imperfect in the end.
	So it's like we have, the truth is that there is a down.
	There's a down.
	Life, I mean, death is the down.
	You know, death is a down.
	The whole story ends with an arc.
	You know, it's a high and then a low.
	Right.
	The story ends with us in a field with someone younger eating cheese on top of us, watching a movie.
	Yeah.
	That's how the story ends.
	That's okay, as long as you enjoyed it when you're above the ground.
	I feel like I'm cool with however the story goes as long as I am putting forth effort to make it go somewhere.
	Yeah.
	Because it's never going to be, you're never going to have a, oh, the whole time.
	You know?
	What is your industry going to be like in the acting world?
	Because I know you guys' show Dave got picked up for season two.
	Yeah, we're supposed to, we're supposed to already have been shooting it.
	It should be almost done by now, I think, shooting.
	Wow.
	Technically.
	Yeah, we'll probably not do it until, I mean, they keep saying November, but I don't think so.
	I think we'll probably do it next year.
	And who knows?
	I don't know.
	Luckily, our show is for Hulu.
	I mean, it's FX, but it's Hulu because they're one now.
	And so we're digital, which is, I think, where TV lives anyway.
	TV's digital, dude.
	I don't.
	There's a guy right here.
	He's got a question.
	What does he say?
	It's Brendan's son.
	Who had the idea in Dave for you guys to have a bath scene and you wash his back?
	There's a scene in the Dave show where I get in the tub with him and we're naked and I wash his back.
	Were y'all really naked in the shoot?
	Yeah, and you know what?
	That wasn't supposed to be on camera.
	That was a moment of Dave and I kind of having a bonding, and they put it on the show.
	And I don't know if I appreciated that.
	I think they kind of went above and beyond artistic integrity there because we said we're kind of working the characters.
	We're trying to figure out what we need from each other in the scene.
	So it was a long day.
	It was the end of the day.
	I said, I'm going to take a bath in this house that we were shooting in.
	He said, I'd love to take a bath as well.
	There was only one bath.
	I said, we'll share a bath, but I want a closed set.
	They put cameras in there.
	Damn.
	It's a little disturbing, but that's what the business does.
	Yeah.
	They're invasive.
	Nothing like putting two men together and getting them naked.
	Yeah.
	In this town.
	In this town, that's really what happens.
	Yeah.
	You know, and they filmed it, and it was my choice.
	And I don't enjoy that they filmed it and put it out there.
	Dude, I'll tell you a story that happened to me.
	I remember, I just remember this.
	When I first got into town, some man set me up with a guy who was an agent, right?
	Some agent guy.
	I know what this is.
	He's like, I'll take you to this party or something.
	So he takes me to a party.
	Cuba Gooding Jr. is there.
	So I'm all excited.
	He's always there.
	Yeah.
	Then the guy's going to give me a ride, drop me back off of my place.
	I didn't even have a car yet, right?
	And I remember the guy saying, if you grab my dick while I drive, my car will go faster.
	And did it?
	I didn't touch him.
	Oh.
	But we'd been doing a little bit of coke, you know, and I remember thinking, first I was like, that's insane.
	I don't, you know, that sounds, you know, that sounds fake.
	Yeah, I don't know if there's a correlation between his penis and the gear.
	I didn't even realize that the guy was trying to be perverted or homoerotic or anything.
	I didn't realize any of that.
	I just thought, oh, this guy.
	He says a big car.
	He's a gearhead.
	This guy's a real gearhead.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But this guy said it twice, and then I remember just having to stand up for myself, you know?
	Yeah, at some point.
	Man, I love women, dude.
	I still had a picture of my girlfriend in my wallet.
	Showed him.
	Look at Shannon.
	He didn't want to see Shannon.
	Huh?
	He didn't, you know.
	It killed him, bro.
	Yeah.
	He's like, you sure that's not Sean?
	Yeah.
	That's not a Sean?
	But I forgot about that, man.
	It's that kind of town where they want you to be in a bathtub with a man.
	Yeah, well, and that's exactly right.
	And when you do want to do it on your own volition and not have it filmed, they end up putting it on a television show.
	That's the problem.
	I got proposed to by a proposition by a guy who was trying to be my manager.
	Really?
	Yeah, he said, I'll only take 8%, but you have to make up the 2% in other ways.
	And I said, what other ways?
	He said, I want a kissy kiss every time you drop off money from a job.
	And I just was appalled by the idea to kiss him, dropping off a check, my money to him, and kissing him.
	Yeah.
	So after two or three years, I had to drop him.
	I just couldn't do that shit anymore.
	Especially a kissy kiss.
	A kissy kiss.
	Well, yeah, because that's one on the cheek and one on the lips.
	That's a kissy kiss.
	The nerve of this guy, you know?
	That's sneaky.
	That's like when your grandma's like in her last year of life, she fucking sneaks one in on you.
	A kissy kiss.
	Give me a little kissy kiss.
	Let me get that double up.
	Yeah.
	Come on, Nana.
	Stop it.
	Hit it on the lips.
	Hit me on the lips.
	We smell like old artichokes.
	I'm done, Nana.
	I'm done with it.
	Why does every party feel so cold?
	What else we got, Nick?
	Yeah.
	I wanted to bring up Andrew Clapback when you had Tom on your Instagram.
	I was commenting from the King and the Sting Instagram.
	Oh, yeah.
	What did you say?
	I said the show should just be called Bad.
	Right.
	Which I was pretty proud of, actually.
	Hit him pretty hard.
	His self-promotion.
	I like it, though.
	Yeah, this is Nick.
	I'm helping out King and Sting.
	Comment whoring gets you a lot of followers.
	But then he clapped back and he said, well, your show should be called Yeah Man and COVID Boy.
	Yeah, man and COVID Boy.
	Yeah, Man and COVID Boy.
	Well, here's one of my favorites too, man.
	Well, you know, I got a lot of hate for this, by the way, from Bobby.
	Tom came on as a guest on Whiskey General Glory.
	No, no, no.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Yeah, Tom came on Whiskey Ginger, and we went to the Bad Friend studio, and Tom, this was Tom's idea to say that he's going to replace Bobby.
	Bobby, I'm not kidding, was fucking livid.
	I was like, it's a joke.
	He's like, it's not funny.
	It's not fucking funny.
	You think you just replaced me?
	I was like, Bob, we're kidding.
	Tom, of course, is not going to do the show.
	Yeah, that's joking.
	But also, Bobby was mad.
	So.
	Bobby's so oddly fragile.
	He's so fragile.
	He's just a delicate little thing.
	He's like something you get at the airport and it's like nice, but you're like, how do I keep this on this plane?
	I got to go two flights.
	You have to hold it the whole flight.
	Get him put it in a bag.
	I'm tired.
	I'm going to go to sleep.
	I took a pill.
	You fall asleep for 20 seconds.
	It's on the floor and it's cracked already.
	Yeah, I had to do a little clap back into the King and the Sting.
	Rename your show, Yeah, Man and COVID, boy.
	Well, that was good.
	There's another one that's really good, too.
	Go to a different picture.
	Go back to his main.
	And Cheo Santino's where you can follow Andrew.
	I'm sure a lot of you guys already do, but there was another one you posted.
	I said something.
	That you commented on.
	Yeah.
	I can't remember which one you said something on.
	Go down a little more, maybe.
	Or if not, it's that one in the middle, maybe, right?
	If I was Dylan on our laps?
	If I scroll down on Instagram through his page, it'll probably just, you'll be the top.
	Show where it is.
	Okay, yeah, whatever you think is best, Nick.
	That's Dylan.
	That's me, and that me, Rogan, and Kreischer holding Dylan on our laps.
	You know what's so funny?
	Like, that is a picture that genuinely makes me go, God damn, I miss hanging out with friends and doing stand-up and fucking around.
	I mean, that's the kind of stuff that genuinely, when I scroll past sometimes, it just makes me a little, you know, a little soft.
	I go, fuck, I miss hanging out and saying hi to people.
	I think we didn't know how good.
	I think everybody, and this includes everybody for their own walk of life, everybody didn't know how good we had it.
	Oh, we had it so good.
	We did whatever we wanted.
	This is the freest country in the world.
	We're allowed to do whatever we want all the time.
	And then when this happens here, it just goes to show you how restrictive life can be.
	When something gets in your way, I mean, what can you do now?
	Yeah, I feel like we're damned.
	Which one was it?
	Go down a little bit more.
	It couldn't have been that further away because we just, I remember it just happened.
	Okay.
	I don't remember what it was.
	Was it on your personal account?
	I mean, it could have been on the Bad Friends account.
	Yeah, maybe it was Bad Friends.
	It could have been Bad Friends.
	I was like, oh, I got asked to do this show.
	Oh, I'm glad Bobby found somebody to do this show with him.
	That's what it was.
	That's what it was.
	Maybe it's a Bad Friends episode, maybe on that one.
	No, you know what?
	Go back to my profile.
	I bet you it was that same picture.
	I'm telling you, I bet you it was the exact same picture with Tom.
	And you said, I think, Theo, I think you said, I got asked to do this show.
	I got asked to do this show.
	And I said, You already do a show with a handicapped guy.
	Shout out, Brennan Shaw, man.
	Shout out, Sanders.
	Shout out, Barnor.
	Yeah, that's our boy.
	We love Barndor.
	Barnyard Source Shabbat.
	He's going to get freaking mad.
	No, he's not.
	Yes, he will.
	No, he's not because he knows how much we love him.
	That's true.
	You're right.
	You're right.
	He knows love.
	There's a big difference.
	Also, what did go back up in that scroll?
	Let me ask you this, though.
	Look at that.
	Oh, I thought that was somebody else.
	never mind I was like who did Who could fight?
	It might be up at the top.
	Yeah, he usually does.
	Why does it punch?
	You could call it just bad.
	Oh, he did that.
	If you think he gets it.
	Yeah, that's you again.
	Mistake, Rick, and his alcoholic burn victim friend.
	Look at that.
	Nick kept throwing punches.
	He should.
	But did I comment after that?
	Did I comment at that one?
	I don't know.
	No, because I was busy.
	And that is Theo's line, Alcoholic Burn Victim.
	I gotta.
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, I know.
	I like that.
	I love that.
	That's when the Rat King shows up, dude.
	When he's got to freaking defend his guy.
	But he doesn't have a choice at some point.
	Do you think...
	It's interesting.
	Yeah, now I changed my opinion.
	I used to think, I genuinely used to think.
	And I'm not saying, I'm not putting you on a political side or anything.
	I'm just talking this openly.
	Who do we think could win this election?
	No, no, I know, no, no.
	It's not a political thing.
	I used to think Trump was going to win for sure.
	I thought in my mind, I was like, there's just no way because he was so polarizing and it just was controlling the country.
	Keep that up, Nick.
	And then now, I don't think so anymore.
	I just don't.
	I think in lieu of what's going on, I don't think so.
	Who won the 2020 presidential election?
	And this is over the past year.
	What the percentage is.
	I see.
	There you go.
	Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
	There you go.
	I still don't know.
	I don't think he will anymore due to the fact that...
	He didn't.
	Between BLM and the pandemic, I think are a perfect storm for him to cause him to lose.
	Do you know what I mean?
	I think those two things will make it go.
	Nick is just checking his fantasy stuff.
	No, he's checking it out.
	No, I know.
	A couple of years ago, I laid money on Trump.
	On 2020?
	Yeah.
	What'd you put down?
	I put down $250 that he'd win again?
	Yeah.
	And it was like $101.
	Is there a parlay?
	Do you get to pay whatever.
	I saw the same thing.
	It was before he had won the Republican nominee.
	He was plus $800.
	And you knew he was going to win that.
	So at that point, it's $50-50, essentially.
	What are the odds right now for Biden and him?
	It's like Biden's the favorite.
	You wouldn't see them.
	Sorry, Nate.
	No, no, yeah, I do want to see the favorites, because that's wild to think.
	Wow.
	Well, see, that's what's silly.
	Why would they throw in Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama?
	Because here's what happens.
	Just in case?
	If Biden can't make, physically cannot do it, the Electoral College gets to pick the representatives.
	There's a group that gets to then put somebody in his place.
	Yeah, sure.
	I mean, the DNC then gets to replace the DNC then gets to put somebody in his stead.
	That's why a lot of people still think, and I've thought this the whole time, that Hillary Clinton is going to slip in at the last minute and replace him, or somebody is.
	But Michelle Obama has never even talked about being – She just launched a podcast on Spotify.
	It's huge.
	Yeah, that's because they want to get paid.
	They got seven Emmy nominations from their...
	Oh, yeah.
	Intelligently so.
	If you're going to get out of being a president, you can't just play golf and sew because they're still young.
	They did the thing that you would do if you were that young.
	You'd go, well, let's get a media deal with Netflix for $100 million.
	Make shit, employ people, and keep making money.
	What about this then?
	Here's a different question.
	What do you think the effects of the pandemic will have on how people vote?
	That's what I start to wonder because I start to wonder if a lot of people think that we're going to head towards socialism, then they're going to be voting against that.
	I start to wonder if a lot of people think that the president is the one who got us into this situation, then people are going to vote against or vote Democratic because of that.
	You know, it just starts to make me wonder how this thing that we're in right now is going to make people vote.
	Because I don't even know if people are voting for one person anymore that much.
	I mean, I feel like...
	I think people used to vote for their party, right?
	I think a lot of times people voted for their party.
	I think now people are voting because.
	Yeah, I think people hate the other person now.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, what you said.
	I think people used to vote, oh, I don't really love the guy, but I'm a Republican, so I vote for XYZ.
	Now I think people go, I fucking hate Joe Biden or I hate Hillary or whoever.
	And they go, oh, so I'm for sure going to vote for this guy, regardless of the party.
	They just get so they get so annoyed with the other party that they're like, I'll do anything to make sure they don't get in.
	You know, which in essence is the same, but I think it's more personal now.
	People really who hate Trump hate Trump.
	People who hate Biden and Hillary and Bernie, same way.
	They have the same kind of hate on both sides.
	But people have gotten so diverse.
	People are more...
	Two-party system is the most flawed thing on earth.
	And hopefully, that's what I think, is that whatever is going on over the past eight years, four years, and in the future, that's where it's leading us.
	Well, you should be able to pick.
	You should be able to pick from, you know, what?
	You have to have an odd number.
	Isn't that the case?
	So you'd have to have like three per side or something like that?
	So yeah, if it was three candidates from the Republican Party, three candidates from the Democratic Party, that's who you would want to put up a fight because then you'd get an extreme from the Republican, a middle from the Republican, and then a more almost left-leaning Republican or someone like Pete Budigej.
	Budijej is almost like he could be both.
	I don't even, he's somewhere in the middle.
	You know, he's a gay vet who loves guns, but also is pro-gay marriage, but also is very conservative in his financial approach about taxes.
	So, you're like, this guy's kind of all over the place.
	But you need that option to be viable because it's legitimate.
	That's how people think these days.
	Nobody is one way at all, no one's all the way in on anything.
	I don't believe it to be true.
	I wish we elected the president and the vice president.
	I always thought That Bernie and Trump would have been a good ticket.
	Yeah, like, why does he get to bring his friend to the party that we didn't approve?
	I don't understand that.
	It's always weird because, yeah, why did they get to bring in?
	Because then you could really check the, say, if somebody got president, then you could check them by having a vice president that had different views and like incorporated more of your views.
	So then it would always be like they're always going to have somebody that they're going to have to discuss things with.
	Yeah, no, I think people are going to, this is going to change a lot.
	But it'll change a lot.
	But also, I think we need to get back to a place where we step back after all this chaos and we start to understand that like agenda isn't the way to get messages across.
	We need to have conversations.
	Yeah.
	Because people are just hearing stuff and then they get mad.
	Like I got mad the other night.
	Not mad, but I just got, I was like, this is fucked up.
	There's a Procter & Gamble commercial.
	Procter & Gamble is a major fucking corporation.
	And it's a commercial where it's a young black dad with his son.
	And they get looks everywhere they go, right?
	There's a little girl waving out of a Mercedes, a little white girl.
	And the mom rolls up the window when she sees that she's waving.
	at a black kid.
	And then he puts his son in the pool and a white dad gets his son out of the pool because the black guy is in the pool.
	And then the very end of the commercial, you see that he's actually, we're in a courtroom, and then you pan around and he's a judge, the dad, the black dad.
	And it's this thing that's like, it's a conversation we need to have about racial inequality and judgment and silent racist intentions and yada, yada, yada.
	While I know what they're saying, I know what they're trying to communicate, I think that is so poorly done.
	This is the commercial because all this does to me is you can play it in the play in the background because I don't think there's any, it's just music.
	There is no, there's no dialogue.
	But, you know, they show him and his son having a good day and then it's waving at a white girl and a Benz and the mom is like, no way, you don't get to wave at blacks.
	What?
	What is this from 1940?
	This is now.
	They're airing this shit right now.
	And look, don't hold the elevator for the black guy, says the three whites in the elevator.
	Oh, my God.
	I mean, dude, this is insane.
	This is going on.
	I just saw this last night when I was watching baseball.
	Ooh, is that a thought coming in the door?
	She's cute, huh?
	But look, would you like to sit at the table next to the black guy?
	No way.
	We'd rather sit over here.
	You know, let's get out of the pool.
	I don't want to get in the pool because the black guy's in there with his son.
	Right.
	Oh, you're in a fancy shoe store.
	Look at the black guy.
	Look at the black guy.
	Checked on the black guy.
	He's black.
	We don't know what he's going to do in here.
	So, right.
	The message is extremely obvious of what Procter and Gamble is saying.
	I just want to see what the script is at the end.
	Should you skip ahead?
	Yeah, skip to he's a judge now.
	You know, we cut to a courtroom.
	They turn the cameras around, and obviously we see he's a judge.
	And their statement is.
	For him, man.
	Yeah.
	And this is based on a true story?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But it turns out he didn't even go to school to be a judge.
	Let's all talk about let's all let's all what is that?
	Let's all talk about the look so we can see behind it.
	Talk about the look so we can see beyond it.
	Okay.
	So here's my here's what I here's what I want to say about this, and then I don't want to ramble on too more about it.
	But it made me mad last night because I know what they're saying.
	Do many black people in America or maybe a high majority feel that they get things like this, that things like this happen to them?
	Perhaps, yes, perhaps so.
	That can be true, right?
	This message, though, is almost like saying all white people do this stuff.
	All of you do this, which is so fucking wrong and not true that this should say there's a very small percentage of white people who publicly have no shame in being racist.
	Right.
	And they're fucking assholes and fuck them forever.
	But the conversation that should, it should say, let's talk about how people are blatantly racist and why it's wrong versus this shows different factions of white people at different levels of life shunning black people.
	And it's almost saying, this is what you do without knowing it.
	It's like, no, the fuck, I don't.
	No, the fuck, I don't put that saying like it's a, this, I believe in my heart that most, the high majority of whites in this country aren't inherently racist towards black people in that fashion.
	I agree.
	Right.
	I just don't believe that to be true.
	And I've agreed it for a long time.
	Do I think there's some people that are?
	Yes.
	Right.
	Yes.
	There are probably a portion of people that see a black guy in a pool and don't swim in it because that white guy's racist.
	Okay.
	Do I think most do that?
	No.
	But this message is like saying most, if not all, white people are racist towards black people.
	And I just don't believe it.
	I just don't think that's true because it is perpetuating a narrative that is so broad.
	How could you encompass all the whites?
	It's ignorant to have this be the narrative almost.
	Yeah, it's fucked up because that's not how I fucking feel.
	So you're speaking for me now?
	Right.
	Procter and fucking gamble.
	Yeah.
	And so a lot of this comes from, I think, the people who make these commercials now and who are in the driver's seat of a lot of the advertising and all of that, they're all from a lot of the same places.
	It's the same repeat people over and over again who have never lived in different communities.
	And so they think that this is what it's like everywhere because that's what they see as well.
	They don't live in those worlds.
	You said exactly what I said on this last podcast I did with Fitzsimmons.
	My biggest beef with a lot of white people yelling the loudest is they don't interact with anybody of color anyway.
	They have no black friends.
	They have no, not fuck saying just black friends.
	They have no friends of any other race besides whites.
	So then they go, this is what I think other whites do.
	Well, you don't live in the world, especially Procter and fucking Gamble, a trust.
	That's insane.
	A massive corporation.
	What world do you live in that you know that?
	And what I would rather see, what I think it would be more helpful would be to show a commercial that shows people of all ethnicities treating a different ethnicity a certain way.
	Because I think there's, I believe that there's way more bigotry in the country than there is actual inherent or, you know, like that systemic racism people talk about.
	I think there's way more bigotry that goes all types of ways.
	Oh, please.
	Everyone is racist.
	There is so much bigotry to any other race.
	Yeah, it's not just a street of one-way street of white people being racist to black people.
	And people are so tied.
	White people who have been doing their best their entire lives to not be racist and to be supportive of black community, to be supportive of black artists.
	My favorite comedians are black and have been my whole life.
	Well, the most popular ones are.
	Yeah.
	Like the best.
	And they're the most popular, the most popular musicians.
	Like, I feel like there's a lot of support of black culture.
	I see that a lot more than I see stuff like this anymore.
	Correct.
	Because this exists.
	I'm not saying it doesn't.
	But it's so small.
	And you're making the rest of us who aren't that way, you're making us angry, not at black people, but you're making us angry at this repeated beating us over the head with the narrative that doesn't apply to us that you keep putting us into.
	And I think you're going to have a lot of people that are going to vote in the election against the media.
	And I don't know what that vote looks like for them, but I think a lot of people don't care who the candidates are.
	But if they can find a way to vote against shit like this, that's what they want to vote.
	You said it right, bro.
	They're beating you in the head with a narrative that doesn't apply to you.
	And so it infuriates people like me to go, you're saying that you're, it's like you're saying, I need to have this conversation about racists.
	I already know there's racist pieces of shit.
	Yeah.
	I don't need, fuck them.
	The conversation needs to have, look how many people in our communities, at least the ones that I live in or my friendship circle, people that I'm a part of, that are supportive of other cultures and races and we get along and we enjoy one another's company.
	If you put that image out more, don't you think that does better?
	Don't you think it does better to show us interacting with other cultures and races versus going, this happens all the time.
	This is happening on a daily basis?
	No, I have enough black friends that have told me they get treated differently in different situations.
	They have, to my face, been like, no, when I walk into this kind of place, I get treated like this.
	That's right.
	It happens, right?
	But this is, once again, that is a small amount of people who are outwardly racist and do racist things, right?
	I'm not talking about subconscious racism.
	I'm not talking about when someone says they see a black guy in a nice car and they go, well, he must be a rapper or an athlete, you know, in their mind.
	They go, he can't just be a lawyer, right?
	That's subconscious racism that people have.
	I'm talking about this is blatant, obvious, get my kid out of the pool.
	There's a black guy in the pool.
	I just don't believe that this is rampant.
	I just, and maybe it is in certain parts of the world, but our country, but I got to tell you, that ain't the fucking majority.
	No, it's not at all.
	Dude, I was in Oklahoma.
	We were touring.
	We stopped in Oklahoma at a lake, right?
	This is one small little bitty example.
	We stopped in a place where if you showed pictures of the place to anybody in one of the coastal cities, they'd be like, oh, man, you know, I bet there's, you know, I bet there racism everywhere.
	Right.
	We went out and stopped and went swimming in the side of this lake, right?
	And it was mostly white people.
	They had three black kids there, or two black children that seemed full black, fully African American, and then one black kid that seemed black and white.
	It was mixed, yeah.
	And they were part of the, they had a black and white couple, and then they had a, one of the kids had been adopted.
	And it was like, nobody there was doing, there was no race.
	Everybody's having a good time.
	Like, that's so much more of what I've seen in my life.
	Same.
	I see more of that than I see the other side.
	And we travel the country.
	When somebody goes, you're a California liberal, you don't fucking know.
	What do you mean?
	I lived on planes for 10 years going to every part of this country, seeing all the different cultures.
	And yeah, there are people that have hate in their heart.
	They exist.
	But you can't help that as much as you can help anything else.
	It's like that's going to, ignorance will exist.
	But I think the message we need to show people is people getting along with other people.
	We need positivity in this shitty time.
	Show people interacting with people of other race.
	Proctor and Gamble put out a commercial about how we're doing our best to be one, to be a race of humans, instead of this fucking great divide, you know?
	Instead of, you know.
	Because it's not even real, bro.
	No.
	The divide is not even real.
	No, they've made it more of a thing.
	Yeah.
	The news wins when you do that.
	That's a scary thing.
	Well, look at what they did in Portland.
	You know, it's a fucking war in Portland.
	And, you know, look up the fucking stats in Portland.
	I just looked it up the other day.
	You know, it's like seven.
	But it's also like these storming the streets for Black Lives Matter.
	I understand why people are protesting, but you look up Portland, Oregon on fucking Wikipedia, and you're like, the inherent fucking racist past of Portland, Oregon, you want to talk about?
	Go Google it, of railroad workers that were black, that were basically socially enslaved in this fucking city for years.
	And it's one of the highest percentages of all white communities in the United States.
	There's all these fucking loud, angry white people with no black friends, with no black communities near them, but they're mad at things they have no connection to.
	And you're like, how real can it be when you've never lived with any other race?
	Do you really know what you're talking about?
	That's the thing.
	I've always said that.
	Like, how do you know?
	You don't fucking live among, it's like 79% fucking white or something insane.
	You're like, what?
	I just like, you're the most segregated fucking city in the United States.
	You're the most mad?
	I don't understand.
	Like, I don't get it.
	That kind of stuff blows my fucking brain.
	That's crazy, man.
	I just, I just, I get frustrated because I'm like.
	Yeah, no, it's frustrating.
	We should be coming together as one, dude.
	And we should be coming together.
	Because that's what we're actually doing in real life.
	We are coming together.
	Yeah.
	Bro, you watch sport, like, we are, in reality, we are coming together.
	You look at younger generation, all their friend groups.
	I feel like a lot of their friend groups are really mixed.
	Same.
	I see that all the time.
	All the time.
	But why isn't that on Procter and fucking Gamble?
	I don't know.
	That's what my point is.
	Like, we need to push that narrative more for us to be like, yo, we're trying as a community to grow.
	And most people do, I think, Andrew.
	I think a lot of people choose.
	We can choose to.
	And there are moments in the week where I choose to want to get angry.
	Yeah, I mean.
	And so I go to find those things to make me that way.
	But we need to not anymore.
	I think, and we're trying, and we can do better.
	That's what we can do better.
	Yeah.
	Is not imbibe in their bullshit.
	Right.
	It's just pushing to the side.
	Yeah.
	If I want to be racist, I'll be racing against Dan Brendan.
	He's fucking half British, I found out yesterday.
	Is he really?
	Yeah.
	And you know you can't trust those.
	I mean, you can trust them.
	It's documented that it's risky.
	It's very risky.
	It has a bad history.
	He's half British.
	Dude, his aunt has an accent.
	Oh, fuck.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Good day, bro.
	Chip, chip, period.
	H-R-E-O.
	Clean out the Gemini pub.
	That's his aunt, dude.
	She's putting the thicky thick up on the roof, dude, with her damn, you know, feather deal.
	Dude, I got to come on whiskey.
	Yeah, yeah, you got to come on.
	You got to come on.
	I want to have you on so we can sit and talk.
	Yeah, I want to come on in a couple of whiskey shop.
	Do they have non-alcoholic whiskey, I wonder?
	They have de-alkalized wine.
	They have like soju that's de-alkalized.
	I don't know.
	I'm going to find some.
	I'll find some whiskey that's de-alkalized.
	We'll try.
	They'll have something, huh?
	Yeah, they got to have something that's close to it.
	Alcohol-free whiskey.
	There you go.
	They got to have something.
	Can we order?
	Let's order one right now if we can, Nick.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And then I'll bring it in.
	That's great.
	It's part of the ritual.
	Zero proof.
	It is.
	And I'll make you an old-fashioned or something.
	Ooh, yeah.
	Yeah, we'll make something good.
	Get a bottle, dude.
	I'll come in.
	Yeah, I want to come in.
	I'll come in in a couple weeks.
	I think it'll be really fun.
	And we won't yell about what's going on in the news as much.
	It's just that my passion got real.
	It's okay, man.
	Well, it's just last night rubbed me the wrong way.
	And then you know what's so funny?
	I took my dog.
	And she made two, and it just made me feel okay again.
	You took that dog out?
	Yeah, I took my dog out, and I was like, okay, it's fine.
	I was mad for a little bit, and then I was like, that's fine.
	Life is okay.
	Animals will show you that life is fine.
	Like, it's just like, they just show you that they're like, no, it's fucking, we're going to be okay.
	We just keep functioning the way that we function.
	You don't need to worry about other people's bullshit.
	It's really true, man.
	It's like, yeah, we just have, it's always that.
	It's just like, do what you can do.
	Yeah.
	Do what you can do.
	Try your best.
	We're all going to die.
	So have some fun.
	Figure it out.
	Be as cool as you can.
	Yeah, be a part of, yeah.
	Try your, yeah, just try to be a part of something that's a little different.
	You know, sometimes it's tough, you know?
	Yeah.
	Sometimes you grow up with stereotypes.
	Dude, like I grew up, yeah, they didn't have any wealthy black people when I was growing up, except for some athletes.
	Right.
	So then I would get older and when I would see a black guy in a nice car, I would think, oh, is that guy, for a certain age, I would think, oh, that guy must be an art, a musician or an athlete.
	Right, because you never saw anything else.
	It was the only thing, it was the only way black people could get ahead.
	But now, in places you see a black guy, it's not, you don't think the same thing.
	No, well, if you live in an area that has thriving culture, yeah, yeah, it helps to live in a place where you go a major metropolitan area when you see people have millions of different careers and there's not just one way to get out of a either impoverished or lower socioeconomic place, right?
	When you see it, you learn it, you grow.
	The more you fucking travel, the more you meet more people, and I don't mean travel to like, I'm vacationing in France.
	I mean, go two states over.
	Go see how other people live in different places.
	You automatically learn inherently that your view of culture is not the, it's your little telescope is all you see in your hometown.
	When you leave that and you go to other places, you go, fuck, they don't function like that.
	They don't feel this way.
	It's worth it.
	And that's one thing that's great, I think, about the whole Black Lives Matter movement is it has made me examine how do I look at other races and cultures.
	Like just to make sure, like check in and be like, do you have a different, do you have like preconceived notions when you see a black guy?
	Sure.
	Like just from your own stereotypes over the years or your own experiences.
	Do you have preconceived notions about anybody?
	I think there's been some I noticed a little bit where I'm like, I'm a little bit more pensive sometimes when I see black people.
	I have a fear just from my own experiences growing up.
	growing up like a Right.
	Agreed.
	I agree.
	But also it's good.
	Like some of this movement has made me stop and look and say, hey, man, you can try to be, to not carry those sometimes.
	Totally.
	You can try to, because people can feel that energy.
	And I don't have, I mean, I have black friends.
	You know, I have like, I don't always have it, but there's moments where it's like, hey, man, you know, recognize that you're just kind of having maybe a little bit of that flare-up or a little bit of stereotype and see if you could just not, you know, try to let it be.
	Well, yeah, because you know that.
	So that's one thing that's great about this, I do think, is that it does.
	It helps people be introspective.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	You should look inside yourself.
	And I think that's a positive thing.
	100%.
	Because you know that any flaw you have doesn't come from hate.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	That's the difference.
	That's why I'm asking people to let people grow.
	Yeah.
	It's like, I'm sure it doesn't come from hate.
	I'm sure it comes from ignorance or misinformation or a lack of interaction.
	That's okay.
	Let's let people grow, though.
	Because otherwise we're fucked.
	It's all going to be canceled.
	What's that?
	Zero.
	Oh, you bought it.
	Oh, I like it.
	Amen.
	I like it.
	We can't play.
	Yeah, I like that.
	Well, that's a zero proof whiskey.
	Zero proof.
	I want that zero proof.
	By the way, I'm excited to see what it is.
	Can we get some zero proof Coke, Nick?
	Will you order that as well?
	Dude, we can get some B12, actually, and do that for you.
	Let's do some B12.
	That's what you do on TV when you sniff Coke.
	I've done it before.
	Dude, I did some a pilot like a year and a half ago, and they had it, and there's like these two 15-year-old girls doing it at this pool, and I went over there and did about eight lines of it, dude.
	These are the good old days.
	Oh, yeah, bro.
	I've been pissed like a fucking straight-up wizard, dude.
	Like a water wizard the rest of that day.
	The B12 does, it does kind of give you a little tickle, though.
	Like it does wake you up a little bit.
	It's a little baby bump.
	Yeah, it does.
	It's like, whoa, whoa, what?
	Oh, okay.
	It's only a couple seconds, but there it goes.
	Yeah, we'll have you on.
	We'll drink some zero proof.
	I'm in.
	Yeah, the world will be a better place, too.
	It will, man.
	Check Andrew out on Bad Friends and Whiskey Ginger.
	Thanks so much, dude.
	Thank you, dude.
	I appreciate it.
	Thank you, bro.
	Now, I'm just falling on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.
	I found I can feel it in my bones.
	But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking break and let myself hold myself on my moving
	way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my past.
	And these wheels that I've been riding on, they're once so thin that they're damn near gone.
	I guess now they just weren't built to lay.
	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
	The answer may shock you.
	Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
	Sometimes I won't.
	And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
	You have three new voice messages.
	A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
	I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
	So great.
	Hi, Sweetheart.
	Easy to you.
	Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
	John Maine.
	I'll take a quarter bottle of cheese to add a bit quarry.
	I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.
	Anyway, first rule of Kai Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
	Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
	Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

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