New Merch https://theovonstore.com Theo talks about the power of a mother, cooking himself a little bird meat, and takes some calls from listeners and calls former UFC interim champ Dustin Poirier to talk about UFC 249 and what’s next for Dustin. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by… Blue Chew Visit https://BlueChew.com and use promo code THEO to try for free with just $5 shipping Better Help Visit https://BetterHelp.com/Theo for 10% off your first month ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Intro “Celebrate” - Spencer Jacob http://bit.ly/Celebrate_SpencerJacob Outro “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It's time to it's time to just it's time to just wake up, I think.
You know, we rolling out this virus bed back out in the end of the world.
You know, it's time to get your legs going.
See if you still got them.
You know, we met when I was young, we had a man by us, this man, Big Gilroy, they called him.
And he had what they call a little fur snake on him.
That FS hitter.
And what it was, was everybody thought, oh, he gots a snake that has a hair malfunction.
You know, a snake that's covered in hair, but it was a squirrel that had lost its legs in an accident.
Some type of accident.
And all four of its legs had been decapitated.
Like in a, I don't even know, something was shoveling.
I don't know.
I guess it could have been like an automobile accident or something if, or somehow.
But anyway, and if you looked at it, it looked like a damn fur snake.
So it was just, you know, everything's just a matter really of perception.
It's how you look at it.
You know, we could have been sad when Gilroy would bring it.
We could have got out the Kleenex and the damn, you know, a little, you know, something sad, a little sad, you know, a little drawn a picture of the Grim Reaper, done something like that, and said, oh, it's so sad.
You know, he got some no-legged, you know, tree marsupial out here, squirrel.
But instead, everybody said, oh, wow, look at this.
He got that beautiful fur snake.
He got that footless little critter, hitter, gang.
Celebrate living.
Celebrate misery.
You know that soon we're gonna die.
Let's have some fun while we all die.
Amen.
Celebrate the day.
You gotta celebrate them.
You know, you could have that little ICU squirrel and look at it on that sad route and travel through the freaking Tear Creek.
Or you could ride that wave of just excitement and say, hey, dang, Gilroy gots a fur snake.
Good to be here.
Good to be here.
I hope you are well.
I hope I'm well.
That's always a concern.
It is May.
It is 2020.
And we are traveling in the time at the speed we've always gone into it at.
So we are traveling exactly the same speed forward into time, and that's where we are.
I hope you had a nice weekend.
And I hope you had that nice Mother's Day.
You know, the power of a mother, just that ability to create something in your body.
I mean, that's really, that's magic.
There's no, you know, I know Siegfried died or whatever, you know, and I know he died and him and his friend or husband, they, you know, they were lovers or something.
One of them died, right?
But that's artificial.
You know, that beautiful, gay, bad boy, he couldn't pull another person out of his body.
I mean, not that he had formed.
He could, I'm sure he'd done some stuff, but, you know, a mother's got that ultimate, that Rubik's cube inside of them.
That little formulator, that ivory.
And they'll roll out a baby like that.
That's God's Yahtzee right there.
I'm going to roll a baby, you feel me?
And I'm going to use your mother to do it.
I hope you had a nice Mother's Day.
And happy Mother's Day to all the single moms out there.
And just know that you are loved.
What did I get to do?
I got to go to, well, I didn't do too much, man.
I went for a run, worked out, cooked me up a little burger meat.
You know, the doctor has me on grass-fed meat now.
So the animals that I'm eating have been eating grass.
So it's, you know, we're all doing our part, I guess.
And, you know, I like to get me a burger made out of beef meat.
I'll do beef meat.
And I'll get that burger, that burger patty.
And I like to cut it up, put it in a bowl.
Cut me a nice tomat in there, one of them Creole tomatoes.
Cut that bad bitch up.
Like I just met that MFer in a Japanese alley, and it owes me money, dog.
I'll just slice that bad bitch up.
And then I get me that avocate, That Spanish avocado, and I'll slice that bad cat up.
You know, I'll straight up get into that sucker.
Put that in a bowl, dice it up, throw a little avocado oil on it, a little salt, a little sea salt, or even just land salt.
I use the original shit, bruh.
That basic ass land salt, brother, kind of shit used to get at school.
And I throw that in that bowl and get that tasty, that tasty little, that beef patty salad.
And man, I had a friend growing up.
His mother was named Patty, and that always blew my mind.
You know, to name your child after a damn cut of cooked meat or shaped meat.
How you going to name your child after a meat shape?
Oh, this Patty.
Oh, hey, Patty.
Behave, Patty, or I'm going to put you on the grill.
Oh, Patty.
And then for fun, you take a piece of cheese and just put it on Patty's head.
Oh, look what we did to Patty.
Oh, that's cute.
You know, doing little children can be very, you know, little, you know, there's something unique about them.
When my niece was born, you know, my sister had it.
My sister had, you know, fathered or parent, gave birth to my niece.
She gave birth to that little beautiful little damn crotch nugget.
And we'd never had a baby before in our family.
Nobody had ever had a baby.
Hell, no one had ever even walked in on anybody else masturbating or anything in our house.
And I remember we went to Chili's.
And Chili's, if you're not familiar with it, it's they kind of act like it's Mexican, but it's like just everybody from your high school started a restaurant.
And basically Chili's had these chips.
They had this, you get the order of chips in salsa, bruh.
And they hit you with the bowl of chips, this basket.
It looked like half of a little, like a Mexican hat.
It almost looked like a little yarmulke for like a little Mexican midget or little person, my bad.
And that thing would be full of chips or cheeps.
And you get the little dish of salsa, bruh.
And if you're like me, you order your own zowza for your half of the table.
Because I don't like it.
You got four people there.
They bring one thing of jeeps.
And one thing of Zalsa.
Dog, bring two Zowzas, bruh.
Bring two Zals.
Okay?
Because I'm going to put one in my area.
You know, I'm fine sharing one, but I'm not.
Like, there's two, if there's four people, you need two Sowzas, man.
I just hate that shit.
They just make it, they want to create tension right off the bat.
But I remember my little niece, you know, we'd never had a baby in our family, and she was real little.
I mean, real little.
I mean, a fucking fat squirrel could have given birth to this baby.
And we put her in the little chip dish.
We took the chips out and put her in there.
And we put the chips on top of her.
And we kind of just ate the chips.
And, you know, and she was, you know, kind of asleep or just too young to open her eyes.
But just kind of a beautiful family moment that we had, you know, years ago when my niece was first born at the Chili's.
What's going on?
Not too much.
I'm happy to be here.
Hope you guys have had a nice weekend.
What else?
Oh, I went over to David Spades and I watched the fights.
The fist fights, baby, UFC.
And we're lucky we got Dustin the Diamond Poirier.
He's going to be on in a little while.
We're going to zoom with him and talk with him.
You know, he's right there in the thick of all of that.
And just excited to get to chat with my buddy anyway and see how he's doing.
And man, those fights were exciting.
You know, those fights were really, really exciting.
It was interesting.
Now, if you go to David Spade's home, and I am home dropping, I'm home dropping, I'll be honest with you.
And we went and they had, I mean, he has, you know, they got a lot of different, you know, rich looking stuff in there.
He's got one of those houses that has like a couple different living rooms in it.
Like one of them looks like a lobby of like a, like at the bank, you know.
He got one area like you could do a chase or a Wells Fargo, the little business area.
And then they got a, you know, he's got a button you press and the damn curtains come down.
I mean, it's just, I mean, hell, it would be, it's the kind of place I wouldn't even masturbate in this place.
It's nice.
You know, I do have some respect.
You know, it's just the kind of place you wouldn't even touch yourself in.
Hell, I wouldn't even write a letter.
I wouldn't even write myself a love note in there.
You know, it just has that kind of comfort in there and beauty.
And there's a big picture of art on the wall.
And I don't even know what the hell it is, but it looks expensive.
But it was nice.
Watched the fights.
Had a little bit of sea bass over there.
Because rich people eat different fish, man.
I like fish that is real, you know, that you can actually get a hold of.
Carp.
You know, what else?
Catfish, sunfish, eel.
If you do an eel right, bruh, then I'll do a damn eel, baby.
You feel me?
A little barbecued eel.
That's something I don't mind.
You throw some A1 on one of them freaking slick little pond phalanges, baby.
I'll suck that thing down, bruh.
God damn.
I will suck that thing face first, bro.
You put that big, beautiful eel out there with a little BBQ on it.
With a couple honey roasted peanuts, bro, to chase it down.
Come on.
We doing it.
But that's what I did, man.
You know, I went over to somebody Rich's house and watched the fights.
And actually, I went over to Gianni.
We got the Twink Gianni.
He's back in town.
So I went over with him and Nick and watched a little bit of the fights too, producer Nick.
But we'll talk a little bit more about the fights whenever we got Dustin on in a little while and talk a little bit more about UFC.
Yeah, what else?
I don't know.
The world's getting back.
You know, we're all being kind of reborn a little.
You feel that a little bit.
And some people's afraid to come out of the womb.
Some people wants to stay in the womb.
Some people want to just go outside of the womb.
Because we've all kind of been like wombmates for a while.
And that's running out.
And there's a lot of disparity out there right now.
People want to, some people want to start living life again and go back to the old days.
And some people want to just, you know, kick it up a notch and be natural.
Or some people want to just stay like, you know, quarantined.
And here's the thing.
In this country, both people, you can do both.
That's the thing about America.
It would almost be more helpful during a pandemic if you lived in a country that was socialist or communist because what they say goes.
There's no joking around.
There's no ifs, ands, or buts.
But we don't live in that place.
You know, we live in a place where everybody has a say.
And that's what's going on right now.
And people say, well, these people are wrong or these people.
Well, neither one of them are.
I mean, they may be wrong to me or they may be wrong to you, but, you know, everybody has a say.
And, you know, like the government can't just tell people that they can't do things.
They just can't do that.
I mean, and everybody, I feel like, is given this disease, you know, the virus.
You know, I feel like we've done a good job of planning ahead.
The only thing we could have done was take these measures.
You know, we had to take the measures that have been taken.
If it's raining, bro, even if you like the rain, you might want to start off by putting on a raincoat just till you know how long it's going to rain, what it's going to feel like.
Will there be lightning?
You know, am I going to be trying to smoke a cigarette?
What's going to go on during this rain?
And then once you have a plan, then you can take the coat off if you want.
Some people want to take their coats off.
Some people want to stay in the coat.
And both of them are right.
That's what I think.
Both of them are right.
And it's not even something I think.
It's just the way it is.
I personally, I'm more of a risky biscuit.
You know, if you smell my back, you're going to smell a bunch of risk jelly.
Because that's what God spread on me.
You know, he put that damn sweet risk paste right on my damn skin.
And that's who I am.
You know, and I'm ready.
I'm ready to take, you know, let's take some chances.
I'm ready to roll the dice.
I don't know.
I don't even, I just think that's, you know, because I grew up in a place we had rabies going around.
We had dangerous dog come and bite you.
You know, we didn't have a virus, but we'd have a dog come through town, bite seven or 18 people.
Like, damn, you get hit by that dog?
Yeah, I didn't get hit, but my grandfather did.
Oh, yeah, my cousin got bit by that dog.
Damn.
Yeah, he killed two chickens at our house and he got my aunt.
Like, damn.
So I grew up in an area where things were passing through that would F you up.
You know, we'd have like dangerous nails back when they had tetanus.
You had to get a tetanus shot.
Because 30, 40 people step on the same sharp nail in town.
Oh.
Ah.
Me.
Oh.
Ah.
You know, you'd have 30, 40 different people step on the same nail.
So I grew up in a kind of place.
Look, I tell Mother Nature, bring it on.
Throw that battle axe, Mother Nature.
Because I'm ready to get out there.
Now, it may be risky, but like I said, I'm a risky biscuit.
That's the baking soda I got inside of me is risk powder.
And some people don't.
Some people more safety.
Some people was raised in a, you know, they got a library inside of them.
And everything, they got all, you know, they wanted to be like this and this and this.
And hey, that's okay.
It might be different than me, but I live with those people.
So, you know, I respect what they want to do.
But they also have to, like, I'm not going to be ignorant about the way I live, but I'm going to live.
You know, I feel like I just want to live.
but it's tough because we all have to be careful.
We're not endangering each other.
You know, it's a unique time.
But people are ready.
People are getting back out there.
People are taking on new experiences.
And taking on old experiences, man.
We had a couple calls that came in.
I'm going to get into some of it.
The hotline, as always, is 985-664-9503.
Hey, DM Man, this is Max from Austin, Texas.
What's up, Max, from Texas down there?
And yeah, Elon Musk said he might be moving his plant down to Texas because he has issues with the way that they're governing the lockdown here in California.
Onward?
And, well, I've been a fan for about two years now, dude.
Thank you, man.
Thank you for the support, brother.
That's nice of you, man.
But I'm 15 years old, and that's important because, man, I'm getting a job as a bus boy.
Actually, and I know you and Julie Conforto were bus boys at around my age.
So, I don't know, man.
I'm really anxious about it, dude.
I'm doing it to help my mom out during this COVID time, dude.
But I don't know, man.
Just send me back some advice.
Gang shit.
Love you, man.
Gang, bruh.
And I love you too, brother.
And I'm glad.
Look, I'm glad first and foremost that you're taking on new opportunity to help out your mother.
You know, Mother's Day really is.
That Mother's Day is just a reminder.
That's just lighting the fuse.
The rest of the year is that candle, baby, where we try to keep it burning for our mother.
And it's hard.
It's a hard relationship sometimes, but I love hearing this, man.
This makes me feel, this reminds me that I'm a son and that I want to help out my mother as well.
And look, I'll tell you, man, bus buying, first of all, you have to remember that when you start out as a bus boy, if you start out, like I started out bees to the dub, baby.
Balls to the wall, son.
You know what I'm saying?
Nuts.
I mean, just nuts to the freaking dry wall.
I mean, I started out just, I was cruising.
We had bread over there, bruh, waters.
Who needs tea, bro?
And we had two different types of tea.
That was the thing.
And one of the pitchers had a little orange slice on it, a quarter orange slice on the tip of the pitcher.
And the other one didn't.
So if people got that tropical passion tea, you had to get that orange slice pitcher.
Hit them with that one.
And if they got that basic ass tea, you know, you had to hit them with that regular pitcher.
And so we had that in water.
Those were the three pitchers we had.
So I'm running regular teas.
I'm running passion teas.
And then we had these kind of a very light banana nut muffin.
And these very light banana nut muffins, it was, you had to replace the tray and then sometimes they had butter.
Sometime, you know, Big Lawrence or somebody, big Bernadette roll in there and they throw six butters on a muffin.
Like, damn.
On a half a muffin.
They cut it in half and stack that bitch up with that montequilla, that butter.
So then we got to hit him with that butter.
Bam, bam, bam.
But it was constantly just moving and shaking, bro.
I had the apron.
I was cruising.
I had the rag stuffed in the corner.
You know, and I had one wet rag and one dry wet, one dry rag.
So I was ready for anything.
And I was smiling.
I was cruising.
I was hyped.
I was excited.
But what I'm telling you is this.
If you start out at a new position as a bus boy, you want to start out with some enthusiasm.
But if you start out balls to the wall, they're always going to expect balls to the wall.
And what happened to me was over years, you know, I ended up using steroids and creatine to enhance my performance.
And because that was my sport, man.
In high school, that was my sport, man, being a busboy and getting that minimum wage.
You know, pocketing that M dub, baby.
And so I was next thing, you know, I'm using D-ball.
I'm using Windstrom.
I'm on test 200, test 240.
Some real questionable shit that came out for a little while.
But what I'm saying is, if you start with, if you start at a level 10, they'll always expect that level 10. So if I could go back in time, I'd have started at a level 8. I'd have known I was capable of 10. And I would have ramped it up around there from about maybe 8.30 to 9.45 during the heat hours or peak times, they called it.
Peak business times.
That's when I would have ramped up my ability.
And then I would have ramped it down the rest of the time.
Because I burnt out.
You know, after that two years, I'm having to do, you know, I'm on creatine.
I'm on, you know, I'm on uppers, bruh.
I'm, you know, I'm meeting up with people after work doing drug.
Like, I just got burnt out.
But I was a, dog, I was Alan Iverson of fucking dirty tables.
That's who I was.
And anybody in Tucson will tell you that, that knew about that in like early 2000s.
So that's all I would say, man.
Go in there, be passionate, but have that extra gear you can always go into.
And if I could go back in time, that's how I would do it.
I'd have that extra gear because I kind of ran out of it.
Man, I'm looking at this video.
They got robots in Singapore in the park.
And I don't know if you saw this thing.
It's like a little electric Dog.
It's like a little, you know, this little, just a damn, it looks like a damn future.
It looks like somebody took a piece of the future and just threw it in a park.
And it goes around and tells people they're too close together and kind of videos.
It looks like it video records also what is going on in the park.
It lets people know if they're in a group that they need to be at least one meter apart.
I don't know if you saw this video or not.
And it's just, it's an electronic.
It's a robot.
And what I don't like about it, first of all, it doesn't have a head.
So it looks extremely, it has that whole futuristic look.
You know, every now and then on Facebook, they'll come out with something real futuristic that just, it kind of looks like it's just to scare you.
It's like, this is what it's going to be like.
But that's in Singapore, man.
Okay?
You let that bitch loose in Baltimore?
Somebody, somebody will, first of all, will have that thing, will have that, somebody will have that thing fighting a pit bull in five minutes, bruh.
You let that bitch loose in Baltimore?
First of all, somebody else will be mating that thing.
Dude, my buddy Satchfield, he'll mate that thing with a damn Australian Shepherd.
You have a couple little, you know, you'll have a couple of R2D2s about six weeks later, however long it takes to make a dog baby.
But yeah, I don't think this is the wave of the future.
I think that this is something that's kind of spooky about science.
Because in some countries, people are going to listen to this animal, to this robot animal.
But not here.
Dude, if that thing comes close to somebody, they're going to pull out a weapon on it.
Dude, a couple crackheads will fucking melt that thing's leg down and sell it.
Sell the copper out of that MFer.
So I just think, you know, you got a unique deal here, but I don't think that this thing's something that anybody needs to be scared of.
Not here.
Not in the U.S., man.
But it's definitely pretty fascinating.
A Boston Dynamics robot named Spot was deployed in Singapore to help police citizens during their nationwide COVID lockdown.
Spot roams around public spaces and reminds people of social distancing rules and is equipped with cameras and analytic tools to observe how many people are in a given space.
Breaches of Singapore's strict lockdown rules can result in fines or jail.
Yep, and that's fine.
But let me just tell you this.
You let that thing loose over there on McGee Street where I grew up, bruh.
Somebody will steal that little MFer's leg, bruh.
And put that thing and use that thing somehow in a damn toy editor cell.
Somebody, dude, somebody melt that little bastard down and make a hubcap for a freaking 88 Camry in a heartbeat, bruh.
And that's factual.
So in Singapore, yeah.
In Baltimore, this little M Afro get carjacked in a heartbeat.
What else went on in the news, man?
Oh yeah, Elon Musk, I was talking about earlier, talking about moving Tesla out of California following extended shelter-in-place rules.
Local California officials refused to let Tesla reopen its Fremont factory.
Tesla has filed a lawsuit against Alameda County.
Elon Musk threatened to move Tesla's headquarters to Texas or Nevada, where shelter-in-place rules are less restrictive.
Elon Musk tweeted, the unelected and ignorant interim health officer of Alameda is acting contrary to the governor, the president, and our constitutional freedoms and just plain common sense.
He said, frankly, this is the final straw.
Tesla is the last car maker left in California.
I think you're going to run into stuff like this because, you know, business owners, business operators, they want a business.
Business people want a business.
And we live in a free market where people can business.
And so when a government comes in at a certain point and says, oh, you can't business, you know, I think you're going to get, this is what you're going to get.
You're going to get people to say, that's fine.
I'm going to go to a state that is a little bit more along the lines with the way that I want to do business.
And I say more power to that.
You know, I'm all for a little bit more for state governments.
You know, I'd love to see more, you know, this is this state and this is the way that they like to do things.
Because we're such a people that, you know, people have so many ideas now and everybody has a platform now to share their ideas and how they think and what they like that I feel like that there should be almost more options.
I wish that everybody were just, we are America, but that doesn't seem to be the way that it is anymore.
And so I think if you have a bunch of different kind of smaller types of America within states, then people can say, okay, this state is more to my liking.
This is where I want to do my business.
This is more what I'm in line with.
And I think you're going to get that.
You know, especially California.
I mean, California, you know, it's very liberal and, you know, they try to kind of cater to, you know, or always help the lowest common denominator or give everybody, you know, they want to help everyone.
And I love it.
I love it in theory.
But sometimes in practicality, it's not always, You know, I don't feel like there's a lot of you also need to help yourself.
Whereas some states, I feel like there's a bit more in the constituents or constants in the ball bag of each of that state that says, or in the Avaries, that says, hey, you know, we'll help you.
You also have to help yourself.
You also need to do things for yourself.
So, yeah, I think it's neat that there's, if that if, and if businesses want to go, and then they have the ability to do that.
But I'm not surprised.
You know, I'm not surprised.
It's interesting, too, because in California, a lot of businesses are so, you know, people are very, there's a strong sense of, okay, everyone needs to wear a mask or a stronger sense here than there are in other places that I've been.
And I'm living mostly in the Hollywood area.
So, but I see, I hear a strong sense of, okay, we need to wear masks.
Do you have your mask on?
Why don't you have your mask on?
But now some businesses aren't going to be able to come back because they're not going to be able to make enough money.
Like a restaurant in a neighborhood where it costs them $20,000 a month for their rent.
Now if they have to keep tables six feet apart or whatever, they're not going to be able to survive because they're not going to be able to have enough tables in their restaurant.
So it's just like you have places that it's almost like their own extremely or their own more liberal rules are now eating up their own businesses, if that makes any sense.
And sometimes I don't know what I'm talking about.
And I always don't know what I'm talking about.
But it's like, okay, well, this is the way it needs to be.
We need to follow all these guidelines.
And now the guidelines have it so they can't even run their own businesses anymore.
Whereas you have other places, you know, I was in Utah last week and they're just like, hey, let's rock.
You know, let's rock.
So that's America, though.
People can, you can do it different ways.
But businesses are also going to be able to decide, okay, I want to do my business in the place where they're a little bit more less rock or they're a little bit more, no, we can't rock because these are the rules.
And both of those are okay.
I'm excited to talk about these fights, man.
We're going to do it in just a few minutes.
I got to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.
And if you want to get in the ring with your wife, or if you love men and you prefer a sexual man, and you want to get in a ring with a sex man and touch that man, or if you want to get a woman and y'all be naked and touch each other, if you want to have an erection during any of that, then I have to let you know that this episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.
And we're grateful to them.
And look, even if you don't have a problem with an erection, grab you a couple of blue chews.
Surprise a lady, throw one in.
Hell, give one to your freaking cousin.
Have him come by.
Not for a threesome, but just to show off that work, you know.
Tell your lady, hey, I love you so much.
I gave, you know, I gave, you know, I gave two of these to Steven.
And look what he's doing over there.
You know what I'm saying?
He can paint without using his hands.
Look at him.
But that's what I'm telling you.
You can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed.
BlueChew.com.
That's blue, like the color blue.
Blue Chew brings you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Sialis.
You can take them anytime, day or night, even on a full stomach.
And since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast as a pill.
So you can be ready whenever an opportunity arises.
If you could benefit from more confidence where it counts, Blue Chew is the fast and easy way to enhance your performance.
Yep.
Blue Chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians.
So you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy.
Don't you hear that?
And it ships right to your door in a discreet package.
So they send you in that surprise package.
It could be something.
What is that?
You got a piñata?
What's in it?
They're going to think candy.
But hey, wiener candy.
They're made in the USA.
Amen.
And since Blue Chew prepares and ships directly, they're cheaper than a pharmacy.
And best of all, there's no more awkwardness.
There's no more awkwardness, man.
You don't have to meet your buddy in an alley or meet a brother on the dance floor, you know.
Say, hey, you know, hey, Quivarius, you got that big, you know, you got that big pecker, bro.
Loan me a little bit.
Let me get that chew off of you.
Right now we have a special deal for our listeners.
Visit bluechew.com and get your first shipment free when you use our special promo code T-H-E-O.
Just pay $5 shipping.
Again, that's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com promo code T-H-E-O to try it for free.
BlueChew.
It's the better, cheaper, faster choice.
And we thank them for sponsoring the podcast.
Go and support this past weekend.
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist.
You can start communicating with your therapist in under 24 hours.
You know, I was having quite a day one time and, or quite a time one day.
And I was driving somewhere, man, and I couldn't get my brain to, I was angry.
Somebody had called me something, I think, called me a little bitch or something, or called me a little pussy, You know, and damn, it hurt me.
Damn, it hurt me.
And I didn't know what to do, and I just wanted to run my damn car off the road or just drive into a fucking Wendy's, drive right into the back of a Wendy's.
But instead, I hit up BetterHelp, and within minutes, I was on a FaceTime call with a therapist, and she was able to talk me into some comfort, and then I was able to go on about my day.
It's not a crisis line, it's not self-help, it is professional counseling done securely.
There's a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp's counselor network, which may not be locally available in many areas.
The service is available for clients worldwide.
You can log in to your account at any time and send a message to your counselor.
BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed.
It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.
And look, those are really nice things.
We all need help.
Everybody.
We all need help.
BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today.
Visit betterhelp.com slash T-H-E-O.
That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.
And join the over half a million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.
Special offer for this past weekend listeners.
Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash Theo.
Oh, man.
Getting through this episode.
The world is starting back.
You know, it's funny.
Some people don't want the world to open back up because I feel like it gives them a sense of control over others.
I just noticed this.
I have some friends who say, no, no, no.
But I think they're just thinking it gives them this, oh, then they can control what happens.
Now, you know, it gives them like they get to control everybody.
Some of us, it's like a sense, you know, we don't want to have to be responsible.
I think there's part of me that's like, dang, let's keep it like this.
You know, I don't have to be responsible.
I don't have to, you know, there's no, the system is down.
The checks and balances is all gone.
The rat race isn't there.
I don't have to be lazy.
can take it easy You know, it's been a break.
So, yeah, I guess there's a difference there between it's been a break and am I being do I just want to keep being able to be lazy, you know?
But there's a part of me that definitely feels that.
Like, oh, this break is nice.
You know, I'm afraid if things start back up, then I'm going to have to be, you know, back into competing for a job and competing for this and trying for that.
You know, I think there's a little part of me that's like, oh, well, I guess it's been nice to not have to do that.
It's just so, there's so many little things going on throughout this whole Corvid, man.
Gang, bro, let's take another call.
They came right here.
Corvid Positive from Gentleman Omard.
Hey, Theo, it's Sergio from New York.
What's up, Sergio?
And that's Spanish for Serge, I guess, or Sergeant.
I'm living in Dallas now, and I was listening to the podcast when I was hearing that you were trying to get somebody with something positive that happened to them.
So I just wanted to let you know, man, you know, I changed my whole life around.
I started smoking weeks when I was 14. I was drinking since I was 12, man.
I changed my whole life around.
I even got a little Yay, you know, at 81, Pedrico.
But I got all that.
I got rid of all that, man.
Okay, he's off the dope.
He's off the bag, baby.
And Sergeio's off that bag, gang shit onward.
I lost over 100 pounds, you know, and just right before the whole COVID thing happened, you know, like you say, I changed my whole life around, and it's crazy that I left New York in January right before this went down.
So I just wanted to share with you.
I changed my whole life around trying to get back together with my wife.
We got separated.
We're trying to get back together, and we're trying to be good together for the kids, you know.
And there you go.
Listen to that.
You know, this is a, yeah, people have used this opportunity to adjust, to recalibrate, to look at things.
And that's beautiful, man.
And thank you, Sergio, for that call.
You know, that's a beautiful call to get from you, brother.
Let's take another right there.
The hotline, 985-664-9503.
Hey, CEO, it's Leah from Mount Joliet, Tennessee.
Hey, Leah, thank you for calling from Mount Joliet onward.
And it is currently 4.30 in the morning, and I just finished high school.
It's really weird.
I didn't think that I would finish high school on my bedroom floor, but I did.
And I finished it.
I took my last final while watching your latest episode, Back from Outdoors.
You know, dying of laughter as always.
Oh, well, thank you, Leah.
Yeah, to think that, yeah, somebody finishing their high school, the end of high school, and you've just been at home, you're on the floor.
You know, it's well, hell, I remember the end of high school, we had a dance, I guess it was prom.
And a buddy of mine, the Spanish teacher, grabbed his dick, Penis, Wiener.
So, you know, the guy had tried to for years and shit.
And finally, he kind of, my buddy just kind of let him.
You know, everybody was drunk.
It was at the dance.
And he just kind of let him fucking hold it for a little.
Not in like a homoerotic way, just like in a specialty human way.
Hey, buddy, you know, yeah, finally I'll let you look at this, bruh.
You know, but just give it back.
And so there's two ways to look at it, Leah.
You know, you know, there's a way, at least you're in the safety of your own home, you're finishing a paper, you know, it's 4.30.
You can go back to sleep.
Meanwhile, my buddy is getting, you know, sexually accosted by a man, you know, a fake Spanish man.
So, gang, baby.
What else?
We got this call that came in right here.
Hey, what's up, Theo?
It's Richie down here in New Iberia, Louisiana.
Oh, Richie from New Iberia.
And that's actually extremely close to where Dustin Poirier lives.
And we're going to be on Zoom with him in just a few minutes.
Onward?
And I was just thinking, you know, I want to hear what you thought about names people name their children.
And what name basically guarantees that your kid is going to turn out a certain way?
You know, back in the day, you know, people would name their kid Bertha.
That was a popular name.
And then I think at some point people realized if you name your little girl Bertha, she's going to be fat.
She's probably going to be fat.
I can't name a skinny Bertha.
And then I was, you know, then that's.
Yeah, Bertha, you know, would often lend itself to a largeness, you know, to a girth.
Hombert?
Think about like Shane.
Shane's a name you see a lot of.
And I don't know about where you was over in Covington, but I know where, you know, all the research I've ever done, anytime you see a dude named Shane, he's up to them dark arts.
He's probably doing some mischievous things.
He's huffing Freon.
He's stealing somebody's propane tank and throwing it at him.
Yeah, Shane is a sneakier name.
Oh, Shane over there, you know, sipping coolant.
You know, Shane over there huffing at gas, baby, getting that astro hit.
You know, just freaking astroing up his old lung holes.
Yeah.
Yeah, different names, different for sure.
I agree with you there.
I'm trying to think of a couple right now.
Cliff.
You know, you call somebody Cliff, you name them Cliff.
That's dangerous.
Because if they get into their own name, they're going to go to a mountain.
They're going to go to a quarry.
They might take that chance, bro.
They might take that leap.
You know, whereas if you name somebody Candy, if they get involved in their own name, they may be going to get a cavity.
They may, you know, it's more limited.
But different names, for sure.
You know, we had Roy, Sugar Roy.
We had this guy by us, this guy, and he could have been a gay man, but he was still a child.
But they would call him Sugar Roy.
And Roy sometimes can have that type of name, you know?
A little bit more sugar in the tank.
Or Ricky, they call him Tricky Ricky.
Maybe he does magic.
He does tricks.
Or Licky, Licky Ricky.
They call him, oh, Licky Ricky.
He'll lick anything.
Put something by him.
See if he'll wet it up with his tongue.
With that liquor.
What else?
We had a guy named Jeep.
This dude, he was dangerous as fuck.
And he was named after Jeep, man.
And I remember he couldn't get a driver's license as we got older because they kept thought he fell out the paperwork wrong.
Because he'd write Jeep in as his name.
But that was his damn name.
But yes, certain names.
Dexter, that could be a nerdy name.
Darcy, that's a library name.
Winston, he gonna smoke.
You know, Splinter, he gonna probably do lumber.
You know, Mark, he gonna probably chalk up the football field before the games.
So everybody, you know, yeah, a name could be definitely a different one.
You know, a name could lead you a certain type of way, some type of way.
All right, let's take one more call here before we get into hitting up the diamond Dustin Poirier here.
And this gentleman right here had a call in that came into the hotline that hit me.
Gang onward.
Hey, Theo, this is Russ Belt Johnny calling from Rochester, New York.
What's up, Russ Belt?
And you up there in Rochester, baby, the ROC.
And shout out to my boy Baggins that died out there outside of a Days Inn, I think.
Yeah, man, Rochester, baby.
Home of the neck tattoo, dude.
Home of the neck tattoo, and a lot of white dudes shooting three-pointers, bro.
Five-pointers, gang, bro.
Homeward.
I was just listening to your latest podcast here.
And you saying America's getting soft.
And I took exception to that because maybe some are, but this one ain't.
I slept outside for 10 years.
Ten solid years.
I lived on park benches.
Had a tent by the highway.
Staircases, the parking garage staircases.
One winter it was so cold that I had to check out a psych ward because I went crazy.
Oh, damn.
Well, yeah, you're right, man.
My bad, dude.
Yeah.
I hate being cold and crazy.
That's the worst, isn't it?
Isn't that the worst, man?
When you fucking, you're losing your mind and you fucking freezing cold?
I hate that shit, bro.
You're like, I'm seeing ghosts.
You're right, Johnny Man.
My bad, dude.
A lot of people holding it down.
A lot of people are tough, gang.
So, you know, drunk bum fights, all sorts of stuff.
So not every American living that soft life.
Just, you know, keep that in mind, man.
A lot of people work hard.
You're right, man.
You're right, bruh.
You know, I'm out here in Safghanistan, man, in Hollyweird.
I got to remember that.
You know, I'm out here where it's just me.
Really, I mean, the only perception I have is my own.
So I'm speaking from my own way of life, really, man.
But gang, bruh, and stay warm, daddy.
Get that coat.
All right, let's get this.
Oh, here's another call from New York.
I want to get this in a little bit more.
I know I've been talking a little bit about the disease today and how we're bouncing back from it.
And if you have any calls or suggestions or constructive criticisms of things that I've said, feel free to hit the hotline 985-664-9503.
Onward.
Hey, Theo, this is Johnny from Long Island.
What's up, Johnny?
I was hoping you could give me some advice.
I was getting into a pretty dark place.
My dad died a few weeks ago from coronavirus.
Yeah, I was getting into a pretty bad trip.
Same like that guy who called three days ago.
His dad died of colon cancer.
So I thought I'd call you.
Yeah, hoping you have some advice for me.
Man, I'm sorry, brother.
Man.
I'm sorry to hear that about your father, man.
You know, let me see if I can get you on the line, Johnny Boy.
I got your number right here.
I want to hear a little more.
Hello?
Hey, Johnny.
Hey, what's going on?
What up, man?
This is Theo Vaughn, man.
I got your voicemail on the voice machine.
Hey, Theo, what's going on, man?
I appreciate you reaching out, dude.
Yeah, man.
I wanted to check in, man.
I'm just real sorry to hear about your father, man.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, um, yeah, it's kind of surreal.
And it makes it, like, a little bit harder that, you know, everyone's kind of locked down with what's going on here.
So, like, you know, I'm upset about my dad.
And then on top of that, I got, like, you know, the whole world's going through this, like, global disaster.
But, um, yeah, I reached out to you, man, because I've been using your podcast as a while to, like, kind of structure, for a while, to, like, structure my thoughts, my emotions, and stuff.
So I'm like, I've looked up to you for a while, man, and like, I always saw myself in you.
And, like, every time I'd hear you talk about how you'd structure your feelings and stuff like that, I was always, I always found it, like, very easy to relate.
A word, man.
Well, thanks for saying that, dude.
Yeah, sometimes it's easier than others, man.
Sometimes, you know, when life gets hectic and stuff, it's hard to, I don't know, sometimes it's hard to just keep everything kind of cruising, you know?
Yeah, man.
Yeah, dude.
It's definitely a tough situation.
And I find myself struggling sometimes just to keep my head up.
Yeah.
I got a younger brother, so I'm doing it mostly for him.
Amen, bro.
And was your father pretty, was he pretty ill?
Take me through some of that, man, because what a surprise that he had COVID.
Yeah, yeah.
It was off really quick.
Really, really quick.
He got it in the beginning of April and he had it for like a week at home.
And we thought he was doing fine.
He was a pretty healthy guy.
He was 65 and he smoked for most of his life.
And he had a few stents in his heart, too.
But he exercised a lot.
And he ate very healthy.
So we thought, oh, no problem.
He'll get over it.
But his situation just got worse and worse.
And eventually, he just kind of, I would just hear him coughing throughout the day, throughout the whole day, just like that, like a hacking cough.
And yeah, then eventually we just figured like, fuck, we gotta, like, it's serious, we gotta call a hospital.
And the ambulance came and he was in a hospital bed for about a week.
And then they put him into, they put him into a coma.
Jesus.
And yeah, they put him on the ventilator.
And then he lasted on the ventilator for around like a week and a half, I'd say.
And did you, do you think if he did do you think the ventilator is what did it?
You mean like if the ventilator like killed him?
Yeah.
I honestly have no idea.
I've heard that, that like people don't recover after the ventilator, but I just we kind of just entrusted the hospital staff and the doctors to like make the best decision for him.
But I've heard that.
I've heard the ventilators like something funky up with them.
Oh man.
Gosh dude, I'm so sorry man.
You guys were pretty close?
Yeah.
We um I was kind of uh yeah, we got really close lately because uh I graduated from college this past year and I got a I got my first like real job in Manhattan.
Damn.
And he was really proud of me.
He was an immigrant from the USSR.
So like basically like he achieved his like American dream.
Wow.
He had like his son like, you know, get this like job.
So like he was we we got we got really close this past year.
Yeah.
Wow man.
That's amazing that you guys uh you know had some you know had some stuff that you know kind of some achievements it sounds like in this past year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you Peel.
Yeah, I'm so sorry man.
I just it's just such a shocking I guess were you guys able to able to have a funeral or anything like that?
Yeah we did I was worried like there would be limitations on it, but we were able to get like around like 50 people out to like support him.
But the one thing I didn't like, they didn't there was no casket.
They just they literally buried him in a box.
Oh.
And yeah, that like that kind of I haven't really acknowledged that fact up until like right now.
But yeah, it's kind of fucked up.
And you didn't have a say-so in that?
No, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't have any say in any of the funeral proceedings.
That was up to my older brother and my uncle.
Jesus.
And it was like just a pine box?
Yeah, pretty much.
It looked like it was made out of like plywood.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been to some of those, man.
It's a basic...
Was your dad a pretty flashy guy?
Yeah, he had a great sense of style.
He was like very like very European sense of style.
He was always like, you know, it's kind of, it's not fucked up.
I don't think it's fucked up, but he was kind of materialistic.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was...
Yeah.
He'd always be like, wow, son, I got you a great Gucci jacket, douche-color jacket.
You want it?
Oh, man, that's wild, dude.
Damn, man.
Yeah, man.
I wish it was something special that we could do, man.
I wish that, you know, I think it's amazing that you're able to be there for your younger brother.
How old is he?
He's 15. And so I just feel like, yeah, I got this responsibility now.
I got to be his male role model.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, wish you luck, man.
I'll definitely check in and see what's going on.
And thanks for sharing with me, man.
And, you know, I mean, obviously a lot of the regular stuff, just, you know, keep your spirits up and just know you're not alone.
And, yeah, it's wild how your dad came here to America and now you're here like first generation.
That's pretty crazy, man.
It's interesting how sometimes our parents have to really make that sacrifice or make a big move so we can have some opportunity.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
But I'll be thinking of you, Johnny, man, and I appreciate the call, brother.
Word, Theo, thanks for reaching out, man.
And yeah, keep it up, dude.
All right, you too, man.
Keep your head up, man.
Love you, bro.
Word, love you too, Theo.
Take care, man.
Gang, bro.
Oh, man.
Don't you hate that when sometimes somebody's having a tough time, you just don't know what to say, you know?
And it doesn't matter.
There's nothing you can say.
You know, sometimes it's not about saying anything.
It's just letting somebody know you care.
You let them know you care.
Man.
But yeah, you're going through all of this and then your dad goes to heaven at the same time.
It's a lot of, and there's international travel restrictions.
Can you even get to heaven right now?
You know, what are the rules?
You know, and then you take the flashy dad and you got your brother, your cousin, or whatever kind of skimps on the.
You know, I can't believe they wouldn't.
The funeral parlor themselves should put the guy in a nice casket, you know?
But there's something also beautiful about going rolling up to heaven in just that basic stroller, bruh.
In that basic freaking body boat, you know?
That plywood freaking...
There's something kind of.
You know, there's something kind of everyman about it.
You know, now he's like an immigrant in heaven, man.
You know, now your dad's like a new...
I mean, he came here and did it.
You know, another beauty of this country.
People can come here and live their dreams and achieve their dreams.
You know, people can come here and raise their son to be, you know, what sounds like a very good young man.
You know, there's a lot of beautiful things that can go on in this country, and that's the freedoms.
That's the freedoms people are allowed to do these things.
You know?
So I wonder what his dad would have wanted.
I wonder what his dad would have wanted.
I'm going to ask him.
I'm going to ask him one more time.
How his dad felt.
Hey, Johnny, man, I have one more question, bro.
I was just thinking about your dad.
I was wondering, do you think he would have like, was he more like kind of scared of coronavirus or was he more like, let's get out there and rock?
So he like, yeah, he didn't take it seriously at all.
He um he was going to Queens every day because that's like where like a lot of the Russian community is.
And he was just going like grocery shopping, like going to like see see like some family of ours.
And like he he would he went there for like maybe a week straight.
And he absolutely like definitely got it there.
And I went with him one time and like he was like making fun of people like wearing masks.
He's like oh fucking vegan.
Like yeah it's a shame but um yeah he didn't yeah he didn't take it seriously at all.
Wow.
And do you wish he would have taken it seriously or do you are you like that's my dad?
Of course no yeah like I helped him anger over like I was I helped him blame against him because like what the fuck dad like you put us all in this situation but um you know obviously yeah I wish I wish you know I wish he did take it more seriously yeah yeah um word man yeah I was just curious just curious about because you know people just have there's just different schools of thought on how
to handle it and but no this is I think it's just important to hear man well I appreciate it man I'll be thinking of you dude I'll be in touch man I love you too man be good wow it's interesting it's risky you know it's risky and there's risky biscuits in the oven baby there's
risky biscuits in the oven there's nothing riskier than uh than I don't think fighting for your life man and that's what um that's what our our next guest does and and he's one of a kind and he is he has been the the interim lightweight champion and yeah we're gonna give uh get him on a zoom call
in just a moment should I put on some good cologne I thought you were gonna say cologne I mean that's cool curve in the back dust and the diamond Poirier man good to see you bro good to see you too man I like that chain oh thank you very much bro that's that old carnival chain baby yeah buddy pick pick the animal on the wall yeah pick that chain baby how you feeling today good
good yeah man i just uh got home about an hour or so ago and ate got a good wrestling practice in this morning man i'm grinding nice man uh i saw you uh the ufc putting your tweets up and stuff the other night during the fight uh how did it feel to be watching fights again man it felt good it freaking motivated me dude it motivated me so much i uh woke up the next day with a different pep in my step you know i'm i'm i want to fight and i want to i want to show the world what i can do man when you were watching the fights was there any part during the fights you're
like where without the crowd being there you're like wow that must have been totally different or what are some things that kind of stood out to you that were either surprising or even humorous even uh i was surprised at how how patient and and uh calculated gaiti was when he had tony hurt a few times you know i think the gaiti of old would have just ran in uh threw kosh to the wind and tried to finish him and maybe got hurt himself but he was very composed um i'm not sure if that had anything to do with the crowd not being there maybe he's
a guy who feeds off the crowd ah you know um yeah because if the crowd's going nuts and you might just follow their lead yeah just angry bird in there yeah but uh you know he he had a great performance dude showed a lot of growth and since his last few fights and uh you know hats off to him he's the man yeah you called that fight i saw um what made you going into that when you're like oh i i feel like he's got this i just thought that tony makes a lot of mistakes and
um i didn't think the fight was going to go to the ground i thought it was going to be a stand-up fight which it was uh i just you know tony's been hurt in a lot of fights he he said tony actually surprising man he's way more durable than i thought he was wow you know because he's been dropped by pettis um lando venata a few guys he's been hurt by he gets hurt in almost every fight yeah but incredible durability man what a warrior would was uh was there any moment in the fight was
there any moment in a fight where like does a fight ever get going so good where you wish you were in it or the fight going so good where you're like oh man i'm glad i'm not in that no i like that type of stuff of course i don't want to get my brain beat up but when fights like the gate cheat tony fight are is happening that was kind of more one-way traffic but it was a great fight yeah um during those type of fights i just you know i always go to sleep after watching those fights and just pray that i get a chance to to be in one of those type of fights and
show the world you know my grit and um my fortitude in there you know when i watch fights like that i i just want to be part of that violence man wow that is the total opposite of how i feel i i will tell you this though man i was very surprised uh with the charles rosa fight with your buddy yeah because you know charles i trained with charles and he has good jiu-jitsu and he completely got shut down you know like uh oh with the yeah because you guys work with american top team right yeah
yeah and you know i've been training with charles probably since 2012 i've been rolling with him and training alongside him and he does have very he does have very high level jiu-jitsu do you think he was just shocked do you think that he i mean i think everybody was kind of shocked that bryce was able to pull off that type of uh you know just i mean he turned in almost just like a cricket you know like i mean he was just you know he was just right there oh dude he was sunken in yeah i i think uh what really surprised rosa i think is is uh bryce's top pressure just
his control on top and uh being able to continue to get charles down like that um that was that i was surprised man i was really surprised in that fight yeah yeah it was an exciting night of fights um towards the end of the night did you i mean you like your division lightweight's like a it's a i mean there's so many stars in you guys's division um After the,
did you have any difference of who you wanted to fight, like, or who you would like to see for your next fight before the Gacey Ferguson bout and then after?
Did that change?
You know, I always wanted to get in there with Tony, but he's injured.
I believe he broke his orbital in that fight, so he's going to be out a little while.
Gachi's obviously going to sit and wait for Khabib to be out of Ramadan and able to fight again, which I heard them talking about July or August, maybe.
I've seen a couple of tweets about that timeframe.
So I kind of knew, I thought possibly the loser of that fight, I could fight again.
You know, if Gachi would have lost, the rematch would have made sense.
And also if Tony would have just lost and not been injured, the rematch, or not the rematch, but that fight would have made sense.
So I really have no clue what the UFC, what direction they're going to go, man.
But I want to fight.
Yeah.
Do you think it's kind of unfair?
It seems like everybody's willing to fight except for Connor, kind of.
And this, look, I'm just a lay person.
I'm just a fan and not even a great.
And I'm also afraid to fight people.
But it seems like from just a fan's point of view that Connor gets kind of put in this different, not class, but he gets a different treatment kind of a little bit.
Does it feel like that as a fighter or no?
Yeah, he gets to pick when and who and where he fights.
And he's done a great job of maximizing his earning potential.
And it is a business.
Right.
But if he's out there complaining about the rankings in any other sport, what you do is you compete against the next person in the rankings to climb.
Yeah.
So let's fucking go.
Yeah.
Are you feeling like that it's going to be hard to cut weight?
Like are you noticing that as you get along in your career that you're like, oh man, that to get down in 155 is going to be tough?
Yeah, it's very tough.
The last few weight cuts were pretty hard.
The fight with Khabib, the weight cut was a little easier on me because I put so much into it and focused so much on it because I thought it was going to be a grueling fight and I knew I was traveling across the world.
So I just wanted to make sure I had that part of the fight camp down.
So we went the extra mile and I brought in a nutritionist for the last few weeks and he made every meal for me for the last few weeks of camp and that really helped me.
But it's not easy, man.
Getting down to 155 is very hard for me.
And so and that's the only like, so for you guys' weight class, that's where you have to fight at, right?
155?
155, yeah.
If I jumped up, I'd have to fight at 170 pounds.
And those guys are even bigger.
You know, those guys are walking around 200 pounds.
So your next fight, will you have any control over that?
Do you have a say-so in it?
Is the hooker fight still on?
Do you know?
You know, they wanted us to fight May 16th.
Then they talked a little bit about switching our fight to here in Florida when all the stuff got scrambled because we were originally supposed to fight out in California and San Diego.
Then they were going to let us fight at a higher weight class.
They were going to let us fight at 170 because of lack of preparation and training.
It just didn't work out.
That fight didn't work out.
It was rushed.
I didn't want to fight outside of the weight class.
It was a bunch of weird things.
And if they want to book it, I'll fight him.
I just want to fight.
Whoever I need to fight to show these guys that I'm still the best, the best, the top in line to get another title shot, I want to fight.
I just need to win.
You're ready.
I'm ready.
Yeah.
So how many weeks' notice do you think you need to be ready for a fight or hours?
Dude, I'll tell you what.
If there's like one roll of toilet paper at the Publix and there's somebody and we're about the same distance and we start sprinting, I mean, I'm going to fight.
You're ready?
Yeah.
But, dude, four weeks.
Give me four weeks.
I'll be ready.
Yeah.
And that's quick for me, you know?
Yeah.
So as right now, then so the hooker fight isn't definite.
It's not on right now.
Right now, anything could happen.
Anything could happen.
But I came to South Florida, you know, a week ago just to start preparing because I know I want to fight and I know they're going to start pumping out these cards now that they had their first event back.
I think they're going to keep them rolling and I'm going to be ready when the opportunity comes.
How soon do you think it could be until you have an idea of your next bout?
I actually, Saturday night after the fights, I started blowing up Dana, Dana White, John Shelby.
I just kept texting them, kept texting them.
They told me I'm fighting next month, so let's go.
Wow.
Yeah, they didn't tell me who.
That's exciting, though, man.
That's dope, man.
What have you been doing?
But it might have just been like, get this crazy guy.
Stop bluffing my phone.
You'll fight tomorrow.
Yeah.
There's not even a fight card tomorrow.
What have you been doing during the quarantine?
I know you've been saying busy training because I'll check on you.
I'll see your videos on IG and stuff.
What else have you been up to?
Dude, besides training, well, I've only been here a week, so I've been home with my family for the most part.
Since I got here, I've just been training and playing PlayStation.
But my wife and daughter are coming to meet me this weekend, so I'm pumped, man.
Two weeks is my limit.
I can't do two weeks without them.
Oh, yeah.
And any new little Poirier kids on the books or what, man?
Y'all got another little one in the oven?
Nah, not yet, but it's coming.
It's coming.
You know, I want to shoot for a boy.
Can't really pick it, but we'll see what happens.
Yeah, I know you love being a dad, man.
Sweet P looks pretty damn tough, though.
Yeah, she is pretty tough.
She likes to wrestle, man.
I bought her a trampoline.
You know, the trampoline with the cage around it?
Yeah, of course.
Look, man.
Of course, in your family, you put a cage around anything, man.
You guys are ready to go.
But overall, did you feel like just watching those fights the other night, it just really got you amped up and ready to rock, huh?
Yeah, I went to sleep Saturday night and woke up Sunday more focused.
I felt like something clicked.
You know, I got my calendar out, started writing stuff down, started writing a timeframe down, went for a run, woke up early today, got my whole day planned, cooked my food for the day.
I started a diet.
You know, I'm ready.
Let's go.
Were you shocked that UFC was like the first sport back?
I know they wanted to, man.
I know Dana's a trailblazer and he likes to set records and be the first to do things.
And I really thought he was going to do it.
I thought it was going to be the other card that got canceled in April, I believe.
I thought they were going to go through with that.
I just know Dana, how hard he pushes and rallies to get things going.
But he is his first sport back, man.
Yeah.
Word, man.
And a pay-per-view, you know, in a time where everybody's home and everybody's still cheering from the NFL draft, you know, if they're getting that kind of ratings, I'm sure the pay-per-view did well.
I know, huh?
Do you I had a question.
What happens if DC fights Nanu?
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
We saw Stipe out wrestle Nganu, but that was a little bit, you know, a little while back.
You know, Daniel's, he's a heavyweight, but he's not a big guy.
He is not, dude.
He's like my height.
He might be an inch taller than me.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Nganu is a huge human being.
Dude, he's big.
And I'm friends with Daniel.
He can get it done, but that's one mistake.
But he was a strike force Grand Prix heavyweight champion.
You know, he beat a bunch of other former champions to win that belt.
That Nganu guy is scary, though, man.
Dude.
Damn, bro.
Oh, man.
His arms are like long cars.
He has like limousines in his arms, bro.
You say that.
They said like his punching power was equal to like a Ford Taurus or something.
So I don't know.
I don't do the numbers, but I guess that's a pretty good car to be compared to.
That's a lot, man.
Have you been on Mike Tyson's podcast?
Nah, man, I would love to go.
I would love to go.
Yeah, it seemed like something that you would be on.
Tyson Ranch.
Yeah, that Tyson Ranch, bro.
After the fight, man, they serving the salads with marijuana in them over there, bro.
Well, dude, I'm so excited for you, man.
Thanks for jumping on.
I just wanted to kind of touch base and just kind of see what you were thinking after the fight, man.
Obviously, you really enjoyed it.
What was the biggest surprise to you of the evening, you think?
Honestly, the biggest surprise was Tony's durability because he got hit clean often.
And, you know, he absorbed most of it.
I believe in the final few punches that he kind of turned away and the ref stopped it.
I think the ref knew something was wrong with Tony.
And obviously there was.
So great stoppage.
His orbital was broken.
If they would have continued to fight, the broken orbital could cause you to go blind.
And a lot of bad things could happen if you get hit while your structure, your face is broken.
So great job by the ref.
But I was really surprised at Tony's durability, man.
I didn't think he was that durable at all.
Would you have stopped the Cruz Sejudo fight?
That's tough because I thought Cruz was, you know, building up.
I thought he was starting to.
And it's a world title fight.
Man, of course, on this side as a fighter, I want to let me go out.
I know what I signed up for.
I know what I'm walking in there to do.
I know the dangers.
Let me go out all the way so we know the fight's over.
And I feel like Cruz was kind of robbed of that opportunity to be put all the way out or to get up and continue fighting.
You got to let it play out.
You got to let it play out.
UFC and boxing world, obviously, you know, cross paths sometimes.
Have you heard anything about a Tyson comeback?
I heard some rumblings of him maybe joining bare knuckle fighting.
Damn.
Yeah, bro.
That's brutal.
I've been to a few of their shows.
I've been to one out here in Miami and I've been to one in Mississippi.
And dude, that's hard to watch, man.
And I love fights.
And I've been to thousands of fights.
Sitting ringside and watching these guys bump knuckles.
Oh, man.
Does it take you back to a time like in the beginning of your career or is it just a totally different ball game?
Yeah, it's a, you know, I've never fought bare knuckle, only in street fights, you know, but I've never fought a sanctioned bare knuckle fight.
Only at Mardi Gras, huh?
Oh, dude.
That's why I don't even go to Mardi Gras anymore, man.
Yeah, dude.
In Louisiana, bro, too many fake Mike Perrys want to show up, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want them problems, man.
I don't know, but I know they bare knuckle also signed a former world champion Shannon Briggs, a guy out here in Florida.
So if Tyson does sign to Bare Knuckle, I mean, these are two legitimate heavyweight champions of the world that could fight Bare Knuckle would be madness.
Wow.
That'd be crazy to see Tyson bare knuckle.
Dude, he's 50-something years old.
He's blending somebody up, it looks like, right?
The way he's moving.
Oh, man.
Each one of his knuckles is like a fist.
They say power is the last thing to go.
Really?
When you're aging as a fighter, yeah, power's the last thing to go.
Damn.
And that's what he had the most of.
All power.
Yeah.
Damn.
Well, cool, man.
Best of luck, dude.
I hope you have a good time over there with your family in Florida, man.
And excited to see you in the ring, man.
Hopefully as soon as a month.
Yeah, they said next month.
So somebody's going to be though.
Yeah, I know.
I love it, bro.
Gang, man.
Dustin the Diamond Poor Yay.
Thanks so much, Champ.
We'll see you soon.
Yes, sir.
Thanks for having me.
All right, cheers, brother.
And that is Dustin Poirier right there.
And sports are back, man.
It did feel good to have sports being back.
It felt good to, I mean, I can't, I don't know what the numbers were, how many people tuned into that.
But just to have people just, to see people doing something, interacting.
And to see people fighting in real life, not on Facebook was nice.
They should have one round.
It's just two motherfuckers from Facebook.
Put them out there, huh?
Put them little dirty bears out there in the park and see them.
But no, always a pleasure to talk to Dustin.
Excited to see the next step of his career.
You know, just exciting, man, to be in that world.
You know, just to be in that world where just the fierceness of it and to just to get in, want to get into a fight.
And imagine being in a fight and knowing what you're doing in the fight.
That was always the hardest thing for me, bro.
I would get in a fight, dude, and have no clue what I was doing.
I was not, I just felt like I was not fighting.
That's what I felt like I was doing a lot of times.
But no, people want to get back to regular life.
But is regular life ever going to be the same?
It's a little risky.
You know, it's wild, man.
you know it's a rebirth It's a rebirth going on Which is just so fitting that Mother's Day just passed because it's a rebirth You know and what are we gonna do?
I like the way that Dustin does in me so we fight We keep fighting We keep fighting That's what we do What else I think we did well for today You know this past card was the first card of UFC that I watched all the way through from top to bottom Man,
it was great and you know Dustin brought up Bryce Mitchell and he did a great job You know he we're you know really fortunate that he and Dustin and Uriah Faber have been our only UFC guests to come in and and we've wanted to have some more and maybe we will in the future but you know I'm just I've just been learning about the sport but just you know a lot of people are just itching to go whatever their job is if they's a fighter
they ready to fight if they's a milkman they ready to drop off that milk you know they ready to drip that leche on their neighbor or on somebody splash somebody with a little bit of that white fucking uh breast gunpowder you know everybody's ready to kind of get back and fight i think we got to a good space here i think that we get to a good space these
are our lives and we gotta live them you know we gotta live them so if you're struggling with some motivation i i you know i really hope that you find it and and just take that next step take a small step and a few small steps make a big step and a few big steps make a real distance and you can be in a new space um thank you guys for being here and being a part of my life today and
um and you guys be good look at the hiccups man i didn't even have anything i had some water oh my god um well i'm not gonna waste your time or my time anymore not really my time this is really the most exciting thing that i do uh what else that's it man we did it
we did it you know i'm um thankful to everybody that gave in a call uh thank you to producer nick for making this episode um you know making this happen today uh thank you to dustin porier for for for uh for for jumping on a call with us and and and gracing us with his presence to talk about fighting um you know he has a good speaking of fighting he has a charity called the good fight foundation and we'll put the link in in uh the youtube here and uh and thank all you guys for for
continuing to fight man this is our lives you know and we all have different ways that we go about fighting um but uh but we don't give up you guys be good to yourselves man and uh and i'm gonna do the same for me man we deserve it brother gang i'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could i be so far from my home and
my mind is somewhere else but when i find it i'll patch up where it's been blown now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be cornerstone oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it in my bones
but it's gonna take a little time for me to slap that pocket with
the Ladies
and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voices today.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sweet.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy-bloody wika.
Come on, mine.
I'll take a quarter bottle of cheese out of the quarry.
I think Tom Hanks just buckdowned me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
Third rule.
Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
