Back from Outdoors | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #276
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May, I listen to a little something for the G's and May.
May it's May.
May.
May is interesting, isn't it?
Because May, you know, it's really, that's when the calendar kind of starts asking you a question.
May I do this?
May I bring the summer?
May I just reel in a big batch of sunshine?
May I make you sweat?
May.
It's interesting, huh?
May, May, May.
May.
May.
You know, what's that old joke that say, what do a gay cow say?
May.
There's something like that, man.
Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.
1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles.
Gray Block.
Get that hitter.
Man, I was in.
I just got back from the really from the outdoors.
I was out there in southern Utah or Soyute.
Being out there and seeing a lot of different animals.
They got small animals and they got large animals.
They got alcoholics.
Also, they got it all.
And did a little camping, did a little yak, a little kayaking.
Not a cocaine.
And got into it.
Just, I mean, it was like Mother Nature just left her damn zipper down, and I got straight up in there.
You feel me?
It was like Mother Nature just, I mean, I really, God, I just really got up in it.
And that Mother Nature.
And you get out there in Southern Utah or Soyute, that's what people call it, but you get out there, they got a lot of people, you know, you have a, you got some people that got a little bit of a whistle in their talk when they're talking.
How you doing?
Hey, you doing?
Whistling, you know, they got people really just salt of the earth kind of.
You'll fucking, you'll lick a dude's arm and it'll really taste like salt.
Just that kind of people, you know.
You know, kind of, they'll have a man, he'll have a little, he'll have a treat in his pocket for an animal.
And that's natural.
You'll see him just break that bastard out and break out of, you know, an organic Tootsie roll or something or a homemade chocolate for a little badger or for a mountain cat or something.
It's that kind of space.
It's beautiful if you've never been.
I just got back.
And I'm happy to be here and I'm happy to be here with you guys.
Let's get into it.
And it is 2020, 2020.
And it is the time.
It is it.
And yeah, I'm feeling whoo.
I'm feeling, I'm feeling, you know, I got that gumption in my junction, bro.
I'm feeling that lift in my gift, you know.
And I get that when I go in out in nature, I get that recharge.
You know, I get nature just like just puts a damn, just a, like a hose of just nature sauce right into my veins.
And I just feel like a little, I start feeling a little more just part of the earth.
You know, I feel more like I could just, if I see a rabbit and I wouldn't be scared or anything, even if he was violent.
And even if he had a little knife on him or even if he had a little cut of a, you know, a little sack of cocaine or something on his little ass.
I would be more, you know, you're just more in touch with nature.
You know, a bird will shit on you and you'll smile a little.
You'll still be pissed, but you can giggle first.
You're like, all right.
Now I'm pissed, but all right.
Good to be here.
We're late.
The podcast is late.
We're late.
Did you know?
Hey, Theo, this is Antonia.
My husband, Caleb, and I were a little worried about you because your podcast didn't come on, and we always listen to it in the morning at any random time.
I'm a registered nurse And been working a lot with the COVID patients.
Well, thank you for working up there as an RN.
And I'm sorry that it's late, but aren't you glad that at least it is going to be late?
Thank you guys for thinking about me.
Thanks for calling and checking.
I appreciate it.
Somebody else knew it was late.
CEO, Stove Pipe.
How you doing?
Hey, I was looking for your podcast.
It's not up yet, man.
I'm not bagging on you.
Just looking out for you.
Hope you're well.
And shitty, chitty, gang, gang.
And I'm sorry that it's late.
You know, I was out there and I was just enjoying.
You know, I got in a dual person and single person kayak.
I met a man, I was jogging, and I met a man over there from a group called Guru Zion.
Because that's where I went camping and stuff was out near out east of St. George, Utah.
And that's southern Utah.
And it's really, they got a lot of rock out there, mystery rock.
You'll see hieroglyphics, petroglyphics.
And that's basically this old graffiti.
That's an Indian graffiti right there.
You know, a native just carved something in there into a rock.
You know, he might have wrote, oh, Rhonda's got that nasty, nasty.
And you'll see that carved into a rock from a couple hundred years ago.
You know?
Oh, yeah, you know, you know, little sidestep has that, you know, it'll be a lot of Native American graffiti, like, oh, little sidestep has that pow, pow, titty, titty.
You'll see, you know, just like graffiti you'd see now, but it's from the past.
And you can go on different trails and see it.
And they got real weathered looking.
A lot of people, they've been standing in the wind out there.
Because it gets real windy.
Oh, if you put your ear up to a damn kite, you'll hear that thing get erect.
Because this is wind country.
This is, I mean, you'll sometimes, you'll see a sailboat out there just fucking walking around because that's how much it enjoys that breeze out there and out in Soyute.
And it's, and I, you know, it just said, you know, I got out there, I went and met up with my family and it was just normal.
I went to a restaurant.
Did I went to a restaurant and had orders?
I ordered something.
Oh, you got something?
Yeah, I got it.
All right.
I'll give you a little money for it, okay?
You want to eat it here?
Yeah, I'll eat it here.
Hell, I'll pay you four extra dollars.
Watch me eat it.
How is that not an option at a restaurant?
For a few extra dollars, they watch you eat it.
You know, here's two extra, here's six extra dollars.
Won't you watch me ingest this?
Won't you coach me on my eating?
Okay, you chewing too hard on the right side, you know?
Won't you chew a little more on the starboard side?
You know, balance your bow.
There you go.
All right, swallow.
You know, it'd just be nice if they had, that could be an upsell option at a restaurant or eatery.
If you're at a sweet local eatery and somebody says, okay, they buy that $19 steak, you know.
They buy that high dollar meat cut.
And then you offer that upsell.
All right, for $5 extra, I'll watch you eat it.
PTL, baby, praise a lot.
You know people would be enjoying, they would be buying that, that extra experience.
Just to have that edible chaperone right there.
That little chew daddy.
That little swallow jockey right there.
Watching you ride the, you know, just watching you experience your food.
Restaurants are going to start having to do that kind of stuff because of COVID.
They're going to have to make that extra dollar.
How do we pull in that extra side buck?
Okay, here's what we're going to offer a unique experience.
You know, maybe they'll, I'll watch you eat.
For $7, I'll sit here.
And my little chubby cousin will watch you eat.
Big DeAndre or whatever.
Or Big Keisha or whatever.
Lil Carrie.
You know, something like that.
For $9, I'll fucking tickle you while you eat.
You telling me you wouldn't think about that?
That upgrade option?
I'm just telling you, we have to start thinking outside of the box.
You know, you guys had some calls on how things would change with COVID and what we could be looking at in the future.
And I want to thank the audio on the way in.
That was the North Mississippi All-Stars with their song Drunk Outdoors.
And we'll put the link in the YouTube where you can purchase that.
And also, you know, subscribe.
You know, if you feel it, I don't like to ask for things.
Or maybe I do.
Hell, I don't know if I do or don't.
But if you would like to be a subscriber of something, this is something.
And would love for you to subscribe to the channel.
I hope everybody's doing well.
I want to get into some things.
You guys had some interesting concepts about how life would change in the new post-COVID.
And here are a couple of thoughts you guys had.
Here was a call.
Gang.
Hey, bro, bro.
This Chief calling from Texas.
What's up, Chief?
What up, Chief, boy?
And you know, this fella probably huffing on that bag.
You don't get the name Chief these days.
Chief used to be a Native American superior term.
If you're a captain of the Native Americans, if you basically this, you know, the Chris Pratt Jawea, if you're a real, you know, if you that top dog in the feather, in that, in that, in that feather club, then you would get that name Chief.
But more recently, Chief is more of a, okay, you know, little Gary does a lot of Chief in that hay, sucking on that gas, bro, puffing that, that goo-goo, that herb, baby, that, that weed, huffing that nasty, nasty.
You know, he huffing that fuck, you know, Mr. McGregor's gunpowder, dog.
I'm talking about marijuana.
I'm talking about that puff, puff, puff.
I'm talking about that poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poo to your brain, that dope weed.
Onward?
I was watching the podcast, the fucking Ladies' Night one.
Whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah, it was Ladies' Night, brother.
Onward?
Watching that shit just now.
You said, what do you think is going to go away in the near future?
Talking about people getting their temps taken and shit like that.
Right, we were talking about people last on last episode, we were talking about people getting their temperatures taken when you go to an event.
You know, you go somewhere and now in the future, they might, you know, take your temperature.
Check if it's snot.
They might, you know, touch your kid's little ass or something, see if it's hot.
See if you're bringing in a little Timothy or whatever with that hot ass.
Because you can't do it.
You can't do that.
You're not going to be able to do that as well.
You bring in that up temperature.
Timpathy, it's not going to go over well with others.
Let's hear more, brother.
Thank you for the call.
What's going to go away, I think, you know, you're not from Texas like I am, you know, but they probably had 10 or 15 Mexican restaurants in Louisiana.
What's going to go away, though, is chips and queso and chips and salsa, son.
That shit is done.
That's not going to be on the menu no more, son, unless you get it individually.
It's not an appetizer no more.
You know what I'm saying?
Because what's everybody doing?
They're getting the chips, bringing chips to the dip, putting it straight in their mouth, going back to the chips, going back to the gift, putting it back straight in their mouth.
Damn.
Lean with it, rock with it, huh?
You know, you can't sanitize every time you touch a chip.
You know what I mean?
Them chips are just going to be too salty after a while.
So, yeah, R.I.P.
to R.I.P.
to queso installs a gang gang.
Gang, bro.
Man, wow.
I hadn't thought about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, each person will have to bring a couple of their own chips from home.
I guess, and, you know, or...
Yeah, I don't know what they're going to do.
But yeah, you can't have that group.
You can't have that swimming pool in the middle of the table.
You can't have that little cheese fucking strip mall in the middle of the table and everybody's just scooping in, getting this, picking up a pair of Adidas or picking up a pair of, you know, Motorola or something or get some speakers or some fucking Chinese food.
That Chang Chop, you know?
Yeah, they're not going to have that group, that little, that little, they're not going to have that little, where everybody's just hands are in there, just, that little bang, bang, bang up there with the chips.
Hmm.
That's going to be interesting, man.
Yeah, that could be one thing that could go away.
Now you got to bring a couple chips from home or something.
You got to write, you know, your name on the chip.
Darren.
You know, Lil Ricky.
And Lil Ricky got four chips.
You know, and Darren got nine chips.
Darren's big ass got nine chips.
And Ector.
Ector over there, and you know, he got, you know, chips running his family, so he gots 40 chips.
Come on, Hector.
No, you got 40 chips, bro.
Shoot the nine-pointer, Papa.
But yeah, it's going to be, and everybody, yeah, you're not going to be able to have that meetup in the middle of the table.
That could be something that could change.
Here's another thing.
Let's go how things could change.
This is Pete from Central Pennsylvania.
What's up, Pete?
And that's there out of Central PA.
And yeah, Central Pennsylvania, if you want to see the Amish.
And the Amish are basically like they're kind of like it's like Halloween, but it's kind of like the most boringest Halloween you ever been to, bro.
And you got to work the whole time, dog.
Anyway, they have a lot of Amish in central PA.
Gang shit, brother.
Onward.
I live about an hour south of that Schimoken there where they burnt down the Dunkin' Donna.
Oh, yeah.
Up there in Shamokin, where they burned down the Dunkin' Donna Dominance.
Dunkin' Donner's Dominance.
Oh, yeah, we used to meet up at the Dunkin' Donna's.
Yeah, I had me a, um, I had a, my parole officer, sometimes we'd meet up over by the Dunkin' Donna's, bruh.
You know, I used to, you know, use the can in there, maybe wash out my pants in there, bruh.
Gang.
All right.
Know what I'm talking about.
So I just wanted to call and comment about the, you know, the change to the handshake you brought up on last week's podcast.
Man, I came up with something the other day.
I think it might catch on.
I think I like to call it the ET greeting, where maybe you just outstretch that arm, stick that finger out, and just barely touch the tip.
That way, you know, you get a little greeting, but you can also maintain that social distance.
And I think it also might change the meaning of giving somebody the finger.
So that's what I got, man.
Love you.
Love the podcast.
Keep doing your thing.
Thank you, brother.
I appreciate this message.
And that's a, Yeah, could the handshake?
We talked about that last week.
Could the handshake change and what you would do?
Because it does seem like a lot to give all ten fingers out to somebody in a shake.
So maybe you do that one finger, just that little ET, that just that little touch me, that touch me tender.
And you also, you would know if the other person's real wasted or not, because you have to touch their finger, you have to line fingers up.
So if their finger, they can't even hit yours, then you'd be like, oh, this guy's all jacked up on something.
Dude, and you know, and look, bro, I didn't know.
I remember one time a buddy of mine, and he's a young homosexual fella, actually, and he's certified.
He's certified.
He'll tell you he is.
And he's really, he's been with men and he knows he's, you know, I'm not telling you, I'm not tattling on anybody's wiener.
You know, this guy's certified, you know, prefers homoeroticism.
And he, I remember the day he told me that he was, you know, he really loved men like that, like a specialty.
And that he really liked to hug men and just, you know, like he liked to sometimes put his hands up in another man's shirt while the man still had the shirt on and things like that.
And, um, and he said, oh, I remember when he told me, I didn't know what to do, dude.
He told me.
And I didn't know what to do.
This was probably about maybe 11 years ago.
And I remember taking one of my fingers, but I'm not even joking, and just put it into his mouth off of 23rd Street over there in Santa Monica by the park.
And I don't even know why.
And he laughed, and I kind of laughed afterwards, but I just didn't know the perf.
I don't like certain interactions, you know how to behave during it.
Someone falls down a stair, you know, or someone falls off the back of a, you know, the back of a building, of a one-story, of a ranch-style home.
You know what to do.
You go, you run over, you help them.
You put your hand, hey, you put both arms on them.
Are you okay?
What's up?
You know, somebody walks up to you, says hello, you know how to do it.
You shake their hand.
You put your hand out.
They put their hand out.
That's a shake.
That's a meeting of hands.
Each person brings one hand to the meeting.
But they don't tell you what to do if somebody comes out of the closet.
They don't give you how do you behave?
How do you gesticulate that?
What do you do with your arms when somebody comes out of the closet?
And I didn't know, I just didn't know it to you.
I just remember taking one of my fingers and just put it right into his mouth, dude.
And it was a natural reaction.
It wasn't a choice I made.
It was a non-choice that I did.
But that's something that could change.
People do something.
Now what do you do?
Maybe you take somebody's temperature and slap them.
Maybe you start smelling them.
You smell the back of their pants like a baby.
You know, I don't know what...
Another call came in.
Things are going to change.
Possibly.
Hey, Theo.
What up, baby?
Gang, gang.
This is Ryan from Worcester Mass.
What up, Ryan?
What the F, baby?
What's up?
I had a comment on what you were saying last week's episode about some stuff that we might start seeing.
Oh, yeah, brother.
And you sound fired up, buddy boy.
You've been having Red Bull or something onward?
It's kind of the new normal with all this going on.
And one of the things I remember hearing on some news radio I was listening to the other day, at outdoor concerts and festivals, things like that, they're starting to experiment with like, they want to fly these drones over the top of the concert.
And these drones, they're going to have like infrared sensors that can tell if someone's hot.
They can see if someone's running hotter than the rest of the concert goers.
So they're going to fly these drones above.
They're going to pick people out.
And then whatever, the security there is going to go walk up to them and be like, hey, we've got to pull you outside, take your temperature, or whatever, something like that.
Wow.
Yeah, I could see it.
You out there enjoying a little Willie Nelson, you know?
Or a little, you know, Megan the Stallion or something.
Or Big Meg or whatever.
You know, you out there enjoying a little bit of skinny Adele.
And next thing you know, they release a batch of hot hunters.
Just they got just temperature drones.
Just a bunch of damn freaking Fahrenheit falcons just nippling at you.
And you got one buddy, he's hot, bruh.
He's hot, but he still wants to party.
He's on a couple hits of acid, you know?
And he's, you know, he just, he's deep, deep.
You know, and he's listening to fucking, he's at one concert, but he's listening to another concert on headphones.
You know?
He's at widespread panic, but he's listening to Michael Jackson on his ear pods, and he's on two hits of acid.
And he's running high on temperature on body temp.
Because he don't want one of them electronic temperature birds coming and getting him.
And then the bouncers come over.
The heat bouncers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's up, man?
Are you hot, bro?
It used to be you got to be hot to get in the club.
Now, if you're hot, you got to get out the club.
It's full circle.
Hey, hey.
We need some ice cold bitches, man.
Dude, only cold bitches, only, I'm talking about real, legitimate bitches from Norway, Nordic, Greenland, Iceland.
Let me get that Antarctica girl and bring her to the club.
Oh, she's only 88 degrees, man.
She could stay in.
Hell, she could be an investor.
She could be a silent investor.
It's going to be cold people only at the club.
People are going to be wearing ice around their neck, real ice.
Diamonds ain't your shit, bro.
I need 14-degree gold.
Do you have that?
That's what I need.
Because it's going to change.
Everything's going to change.
Is it, though?
I mean, look, do I really think it is?
I really do not.
I really do not.
I really think that we've taken a good measure of trying to battle this virus.
I think we've taken a really good measure.
I also think it's time to get things back going.
And there's some people like, life will never be the same.
You know, some people are like, man, you will never.
Children will be born in incubator.
You won't even see your child till he's seven.
Oh, don't, you'll never go on a date.
You're crazy.
You'll never wash your own ass, boy.
You will never wash your own ass, boy.
You little freak.
You little, you little bitch.
But that's not true.
I think things are going to go back very normal.
I really do.
I really, really do.
Here's another call that came in.
You guys had so many great ideas, man.
As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503.
You guys had so many interesting things that could happen, you know, that could happen.
Onward.
Yo, Theo, my name's Chris Jones.
I'm from Des Moines.
What's up, Chris Jones?
And I used to know a fellow named Toby Jones.
Or actually, Chris Jones was his name, and they call him Toby.
And he was real, real white.
And his eyes, his eyes was always open pretty wide.
You know, he kind of had those eyes where, you know, he would tell you he was going to sleep, but you didn't believe him.
You were like, no way.
And he had a real, he was a young fellow that lived by me growing up.
And he was kind of tough.
He was a rap scallion, and he wore kind of large shirts that were collared and just a damn large shirt.
And sometimes his shirt was so big, he'd go inside, he'd be like, look, man, I'll be right back.
And he would just go inside of his shirt.
What?
Where is he?
And he'd come back out and have a licorice or have a jolly rancher.
Like, damn, this shirt's come with a damn kitchenette.
But they called him Toby, and he was a good friend when I was young, and he was a good kid, and I enjoyed living in the same neighborhood as that boy kind of.
Onward?
Just kind of an experience with this whole coronavirus thing that I don't think anyone's called in with yet, or at least I haven't heard it.
So my uncle passed away a couple weeks ago.
Oh, damn, man.
Sorry to hear that, brother.
And R.I.P to his beautiful ass, brother, and I'm sure he was a good man, brother.
And, you know, it's an interesting journey with life because you can die.
That's the real caveat.
Onward?
All good.
I've not been out of shape about it really too much or anything.
He was a good dude.
He had stage four colon cancer, and he fought it for two and a half years.
Oh, man.
Can you, I mean, I cannot even fathom, brother, fighting something that is, you know, fighting something that is in your own ass.
That is, you know, that's like a level, that's like, that's like a Zelda that we'll never know about.
I mean, that is the ultimate mortal combat, really, is fighting a curious disease that is inside of your own ass, body ass.
As.
You know what I'm talking about?
Butt.
And I'm sorry to hear that, brother.
Yeah, my father passed away at colon cancer, too.
And it's, you know, it's crazy to think that something could be in your ass that doesn't like you or that doesn't want you to be alive.
Onward?
You know, my family was mainly grateful for that.
And so he lives in Kansas City.
In Kansas City, they're still shut down.
They couldn't have more than, you know, however many people in the building for the funeral.
And he has five kids and his wife and then the pastor and the videographer and all that because they were putting the funeral on YouTube.
So long story short, my dad didn't even get to go to the funeral.
None of us were able to go to the funeral.
His kids were able to and his wife was able to and everything.
We just watched his funeral on YouTube just a couple hours ago.
Wow.
So they YouTubing death.
You know, the Grim Reaper is upgrading his technology.
That's what it's come to, people.
The Grim Reaper is upgrading his technology.
Okay?
This man have to be somewhere watching his uncle die on a damn YouTube.
Onward.
And it was just kind of a trip.
It was just really weird.
And I'm Like the emotion wasn't really there watching this funeral on YouTube.
And even for my dad, it was just, it just wasn't quite the same.
He even said something about it.
Just, you know, the human brain may be processing that kind of emotion differently.
I don't know, man.
Just kind of weird.
I'm very sorry to hear about the passing in your family, and I'm really sorry for your dad.
You know, I got to see my brother this weekend out there in Soyute.
And it's, you know, it's a special gift to have a brother.
And man, I bet that was really tough for him.
But Jeepers, Jeepers, friend, when you hear this and you know, yo, how are you going to be on you?
What if in the middle of the thing, you know, you get an email reminder or a notification of a damn TikTok or something?
And you, you know, they're sitting, they're right there, you know, you know, you know, Johnny was a good man and he survived today by, and then it's like, you know, what if somebody comments on the thing?
Gang, gang, first.
What if somebody writes that on the freaking funeral?
You know?
It just.
Yeah, I mean, that's just a crazy, you know.
Somebody writes first on your uncle's funeral.
Or somebody writes like, oh, I thought this was magic, and I thought they were going to cut the thing in half or something.
It just, I mean, it all could get wild.
It all could get wild.
Those are some great suggestions, man.
Some great thoughts about what could happen.
What could the world be like?
You know, I was over here.
I was in Springdale.
I was in Rockville.
And I had a nice time.
Got to go fishing.
And I caught an endangered animal fish.
I caught an endangered animal fish.
And that thing, that little bastard, he was, he looked rare.
Right when I saw him, I said, damn, he looks.
You know, some fish look like they live in the lake that they're in.
Some fish look like they're just passing through, like they're from like a different place.
Like, oh, okay.
And he had that vibe.
Oh, he, this little fella's an out-of-towner.
You know, he ain't a local boy.
He seemed like he had read a few books, you know, like he had a different vibe in him.
And it was a chub.
It's called a North Chub endangered Utah.
And this fish, the Utah Chub.
And the river I was in was called the Virgin River.
And it is, it's a special river.
The Virgin River, Utah.
Let me tell you about it.
I want to tell you one interesting fact about this waterway.
The Virgin River Chub, federally listed endangered species, 18-incher.
Rare and beautiful, it says here.
This fish is the top native predator in the Virgin River.
And I could have sensed that a little.
It was daytime when I caught it, but I could see it getting into some shit at night.
It had that look about them.
The Virgin River chub feeds on small fish insects, and they like deep pools with boulders and debris.
And I caught one of those bastards, boy.
And I caught him on liver.
I fish on chicken liver and I fish on a worm, American worm.
And yeah, I caught him, man.
So that was nice.
We caught a couple bullheads and my brother caught a snapping turtle.
A big thing.
And we put everything back.
We put everything back.
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This past week, I'd like to support small businesses, and we want to support Lakeside Maple.
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And she listens to this now, so now she's going to expect it.
Damn.
Let's get back to the show.
Who is listening?
That's who I like to know.
Got a couple listeners right here.
Let's catch them.
Yo, Bizzle.
This is Joe from Philly.
What up, Joe, from Philly?
Gang, gang.
Gang, Bucko.
Just calling in and say, yo, man, your show is funny as hell, bro.
All night while I'm at work doing overnight freight, I have my Bluetooth earphones in.
Gang, brother.
And I appreciate you listening.
Overnight freight as well, also a nickname for burglary or burglary.
And I like the way you terminize it.
And I don't disrespect it.
I don't disrespect criminalism if you're a businessman.
If you out there just pocketing a little of this or a little of that.
But if you working at a job overnight and doing overnight freight or whatever, I respect that shit, bro.
Gang shit.
Another gentleman.
Hey, Theo, this is Logan from Alberta, Canada.
Just wanted to let you know we got listening way up here in the Great White North.
Like I said, up here in Canada, I'm a blacksmith.
Ooh.
And what a dichotomy, a blacksmith in the great white north.
And that's about the most Canadian thing.
You know, it's so white there, they got to make a black guy.
Isn't that crazy?
You got a dude out there chiseling out a black dude in a shed.
You know, chiseling together a Darius.
Or, you know, chiseling together a Sharquish.
I'm actually a farrier.
So what that is, is I take raw steel and I build horseshoes in a forge and an anvil, old school style, just like the medieval days.
Build horseshoes and knives and stuff.
And predominantly I build horseshoes and nail them on horses' feet so they can go up and go to work.
Oh, I see what you're talking about.
Yeah, man.
I mean, if that's what you want to do, then that's what's being done.
And I think that's beautiful to be taking care of a horse's foot.
Because the rest of us, we see a horse, we don't think about that.
I see a horse, I think I want to put a couple dollars on this one.
Striped passenger or whatever his name is.
Birdie's diary.
You know.
Johnson's pocket.
I'll throw $200 on that thing.
You know, Tricky Russell.
I'll throw $40 on Tricky Russell to come in third.
But you don't think that there's somebody sees a horse and says, you know what, boy?
About to throw some shoes on that bitch.
And look, I think that's beautiful.
I would love to see you guys up the ante, though.
I'd love to see you put a little put a Nike on a little wolf.
I'd love to see you throw a damn croc on a croc.
Now that would be some G shit.
I mean, I think it's savage as hell to be hammering a piece of metal into a Clydesdale.
But if it helps him, then I think it's beautiful.
But I would love to see you put a damn put a little piece of foo boo footwear on a frog.
Now that would be crazy.
Or throw some ASICs on a on a on a I'd love to see an ASIC on a fox.
People are like, damn, that fox is fast as fox.
Because he got ASICs.
Thank you guys, though.
Thank you for supporting the podcast.
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You know, I remember when I was a child for one year, I went to a school and it was called Lyon Elementary.
And they misspelled it, L-Y-O-N.
And named after this guy, Donald Lyon.
And he was the first man actually in our town that had ever seen, I guess, that had ever seen a Louisiana black bear.
And he didn't have one or anything, but he had seen it.
And no one else had seen it.
And there used to be value back then to seeing something before you could just have a camera or something.
You had to see it and tell people.
You could maybe draw them a picture or make them a thing out of clay.
Oh, here it is.
This is what it is, you know.
It's a bear.
I'm like, well, it looks like a fat goat.
Well, I'm not that good of a sculptor, but that doesn't mean I didn't see it.
And I went to that school, man.
It was a kind of a, it was a school that was a little closer to where I grew up, and it was, it was, it specialized in special education.
And these are a lot of children who are mental, you know, mentally unique, rare.
A lot of kids kind of, you seem like they want to do magic or something, but they're just children.
And they don't, and they just, you know, sometimes they be in remedial classes.
You'll see a kid four years in the second grade.
But all of them are happy about it and they loved it.
And it was good, man.
And I went because it was close to us and I enjoyed it.
And the principal was this man, Troy, or T-Roy Jackson.
And he could whistle.
Dude, this guy, God, he could whistle.
My God, he could just pass wind through his lips, boy.
He could just whistle, man.
Imagine something flying out of your lips through a really small hole.
Now imagine that thing is beautiful.
That's whistling.
And he could do it.
And he could do it, man.
He could whistle from one end of the property to the other.
You could hear him at the other end of the property.
Which is one of the reasons why he even got the job.
And that man could, God, he could whistle.
And sometimes, you know, sometimes I still think about him.
And I think he passed away.
He might have died.
All right.
Let's get into a couple more calls here.
Here we go.
Gang Bro, what up?
Yo, Theo.
I'm in a conundrum.
Onions or onions.
Ooh, that is a toughie, huh?
Man, that is a toughie.
Because you know it?
An onion is the real deal.
An onion comes with all the emotions.
You know, it's probably the national vegetable of this past weekend, listeners.
You know, this is the kind of podcast sometime you got to crack into that onion.
An onion is, it's just, you know, it's the one that went to school and it got its, you know, it's, it's had some tough times and maybe it went through a bad marriage or two.
And then funions are just fucking onions that have just, that has gooped out.
They gooped out on methamphetamines or, you know, they've been smoking, doing cigarettes and doing a little bit of, you know, sneaking a little sip of fireball, you know, at church or something.
That's a tough one, man.
Onions are funyuns.
But funions got that fun in them.
You know, they going to community college, you know, and they had it.
They worked at Subway for a couple months before some shit went up.
Shit went down and some money went missing.
But onions, onions, you know, they grow in a real garden and they know other vegetables.
You know, they might have a carrot in their phone.
They might have a way to get in touch with a rhubarb or something in a Rolodex at their house.
You know, an onion has a chance to be part of other recipes.
You might see an onion in a salad or salad.
Or salad, actually, not salad.
You might see an onion in a salad.
You know, you might see an onion on the edge of a steak.
But funnys, nobody's ever serving a damn steak and funny.
A funyance ain't coming on a burger.
So I'm staying real with it, man.
Real with it.
Rock with it.
I'm going onions.
I'm going onions on that one.
Thank you for checking in about that as well.
We got this call that came in.
Hey, what's up, Theo?
This is Bryn calling from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Oh, thank you for calling down there in Baton Rouge.
You know, I spent much of time down there, and I bought some cocaine down there once and went jogging on it.
And that's called running the Graham, baby.
Gang.
Onward.
I got a question for you.
Who do you think would win in a feud between Hillary Clinton and Carol Baskin?
Who's got the better hit, man?
And also, they both kind of look alike, don't they?
They do have a similar visual.
When I get that visual of them, they look a little similar.
Who would win out of Hillary and Carol Baskin?
Damn.
Well, you know, Hillary's going to have a lot more firepower.
She's going to have men in suits doing her business.
She's going to have a lot more...
Carol's going to bait you with that kitty and then snuff you out.
You know, Carol's going to do that, you know, flowered headdress.
Let's go skip through the garden.
And then damn hit you with that sharp rake.
That's a tough one.
I mean, Hillary just has so much.
There's so much.
You know, Hillary's going to be harder to get to.
Carol's going to be probably kind of easy access.
She's on YouTube.
But Hillary, you might be able to bait Hillary more with something.
I don't know.
It'd be vicious.
I'd love to watch them wrestle, man.
I would love to watch them wrestle.
That's a good one, man.
That's a toss-up for me.
That is a toss-up for me.
What else is going on, man?
Oh, I'll tell you, I was going to tell you when I was at that school, so I'm at that Lion Elementary.
And this was a secondary, the premier elementary school in our town was Covington Elementary.
And Lions Elementary was, it was secondary.
And it was just a, it was a type of place, it was, you know, it was just, it was a second, it was a, you know, it was the bad news bears of education.
It was, you know, we didn't have some of the books, people had just written them.
Some of the school books, somebody's daddy had written.
You're like, Jesus, half of this is wrong.
You know, the kickball, it was just a volleyball.
And somebody wrote kick on it with a marker or marks a lot.
You know, the windows, the windows had been like repurposed from a local prison.
So a lot of them was that, you know, you couldn't see through them.
It was just mirror-sided.
You know, and you'd have people that carve crazy stuff into them.
You know, I didn't do it.
You know, God shall be my last decider.
Just, you know, prison chatter.
It was just a secondary elementary.
And they had this boy there, this kid, Wyatt Power was his name.
And now I realize, I mean, in hindsight, that's a wild name to have, dude.
You know, Wyatt Power.
But at the time, it wasn't anything racial.
It was probably a family name.
Because I think he was Wyatt, you know, Wyatt Power VI or whatever.
And he was always, he always had a little cricket on him or a little salamander.
You know, he always had a little snail or something or a little half a handful of lightning bugs.
Daytimers, making them work the daytime shift.
And that shit hurt me.
That shit hurt my feelings, man.
When you see a lightning bug working in the daytime, you can't shake that once you've seen it.
But I remember it was show and tell, and he told everybody in class that he was going to get a cricket, right, to pass gas, right?
Because remember when you were a child, this was third grade.
So passing gas or farting or doing body fart was about the most, it was like the, it was kind of like band for kids.
It's the only instrument really, you have two instruments, your mouth when you do your underarm like that, and then your butt.
So he would do farts, body farts.
He said he could get a cricket to do one.
So we're all like saying F, F, F, or whatever kids say, you know, not F, but whatever means F. F, you, Wyatt, all of this and that.
BSing him.
Telling him to go BS himself.
Well, here's what occurred.
So the day he was supposed to do it, I remember seeing him at recess and he was just pacing around and just scared.
And he was on these shitty monkey bars we had.
And we didn't, I mean, a monkey, dude, if a monkey saw these monkey bars, he would just, he would not even go buy them.
You know, they were more for a swan or something.
You might see a sparrow on them.
They just, everything at this school was just rot gut.
And so I could tell he was nervous.
I could tell he was scared, right?
And, because I'm like, he can't do this.
He can't do this.
You know, a man can't get a little cricket to do a fart.
You know, he can't do it.
So anyway, next thing I know, dude, we're back in class and he had, I guess, gotten some flour, right?
And we're all sitting there watching and the teacher let him do it.
You know, they were like just right before class started.
They were going to give him like two minutes to, you know, he was a bit of a showman.
So I remember, and this happened really fast, but he like threw the flower into, we're all sitting there in like a semicircle.
He threw the flower in everyone's face.
And then while we were all kind of what I guessed he thought was going to be blinded by the flower, he turned around and he basically ended up defecating onto the floor of the classroom.
But I think what he had meant to do was pass gas, do fart.
I think he had meant to do fart.
But he, you know, he was going to blind us with the flour and then make a, do a fart, a body fart.
And then have us believe that the cricket had done it.
Because there was a cricket.
Sorry.
There was a cricket there.
And instead, man, everybody had flour.
And the next thing you know, I just remember it really smelled like poop.
And then somebody said, oh, Wyatt pooped on the floor.
And it was just, you know, it just goes, you just.
It's hard to pull off magic.
It's hard to pull off magic if you're doing it all alone.
But anyway, man, what else do we have?
Let's get into a little bit more so we can get on with our day, man.
Thank you guys for all the communication.
And thanks for caring that the podcast was late.
You know, I was just enjoying myself.
You know, I was really just enjoying myself.
We got a Patreon question that came in.
And this is from Kim Chickens.
Camping is fun.
Beautiful country out here.
How do you like being back inside?
Do you have a balcony you can sit on to enjoy nature?
I have a park near me.
So I go over there.
But yeah, it was really nice.
You know, I went and stayed at a campground.
So, you know, I went and stayed at a campground.
I went with my friend, and it was nice.
We stayed at a campground one night, stayed by my family's in-laws the other night.
My brother and his wife were there with their children.
And, yeah, just, you know, you hooked the water into the camper and just did it all.
You know, you got to take out the gray water, take out the dark water, you know, plugging in for electricity, running the generator.
We didn't even use a generator.
So that was nice.
It was nice and cool.
And if you've never driven through Zion National Park, the park wasn't open, but you could drive through it.
You could motor on and hot dignity.
It was beautiful.
And I like being, you know, you go to a campground, they got somebody next door.
They set up, they bring their whole life out there.
They slang and they got a strawberry garden.
Some people go camp at these campgrounds for a year.
They'll do a six-month lease.
You park that thing, plug in the electricity, $50 a night.
Beautiful.
Great way to spend that stimulus check.
Speaking of stimulus check, here's a call that came in.
What's up, Dio?
This is Cooper down in Austin, Texas.
What's up, Cooper?
Thank you for calling, brother.
Onward.
I was just listening to the episode, and you talking about being grateful for the $1,200 and everything, and how our government's really helping us out.
And listen, if you're struggling and you needed that $1,200, then I'm definitely glad you got it.
But when you really look at it, man, at all the money they spent and printed for the stimulus, it was about $6 trillion.
So, you know, that's more than $15,000 per person.
Most of that's going to, you know, wealthier people.
It's going all back to the top, you know, and the reality is that's our money in the first place.
They're just going into debt, robbing future generations.
The government doesn't produce any money itself.
So it's nice that people are getting a couple crumbs, but number one, it's their money in the first place.
And number two, everybody's going into debt an additional almost $20,000 just to get a little thousand.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, you know, I don't know a ton exactly how it works.
You know, I do know that if we just print money, that it lowers the overall value of money because there's more.
Some people are just like, just give me money.
Give me some dang money, man.
Print money, man.
You see people out there like, why can't the government just give me $60?
Why can't they just give me $60, man?
Well, I mean, they can, but it's just like in the end, the overall value of it goes down because if we just print more of it.
Yeah, it's look, yeah, there's definitely a lot more into it.
I think my overall, my point, I felt like, was just that, and I think you're saying it as well, that, yeah, like we get to, it's nice on the surface if it looks this way, but that there's bigger things in the background going on that are affecting us more long term.
And yeah, I agree.
I agree, man, that there's a lot happening.
But I guess, yeah, it's just, it's, even if the money that we're making ends up lowering the value of our money down the road, if it, you know, yeah, it might not be the best long-term move.
But yeah, at least we're just in it.
We're in a, whether it's good or not, it is interesting that we have, and it makes us feel good that we have a structure here in the U.S. where they can kind of, where at least people are able to be helped.
You know, I feel like we do help sometimes the lowest common denominator, people that don't want to contribute.
I wish there was a way to see if people are contributing to society.
You know, I wish there was an evaluation or a score in a way.
But it would have to encompass so many things.
It would have to encompass, you know, their ability based on their circumstances, based on their opportunity.
It would have to encompass all those things.
But yeah, just you get so many opportunities in America.
You know, if you if you lose your home, you can get a you know, you can get a mortgage, you can get a second mortgage, you can get it, you can lose your home, you can get a mobile home.
You could be homeless and still get a money from the government.
You know, there's shelters.
There's so much.
There's so many.
There's such a structure in place to help us.
Now, how long can we keep it going?
I don't know.
Or at least the facade of it going?
I don't know.
It's really interesting, man.
It's a bigger conversation, but let's hear a little bit more on what you have to say about it.
You know, you got to take a little bit of a deeper look at it.
Sometimes you can't just take everything on face value.
And, you know, we do live in a great country and we live in a great society.
And, you know, you can't give all that credit to the government, though.
You know, it's just not the case.
It's, you know, the free market, it's the people, technology that's allowed us to live such comfortable lives.
It ain't the goddamn government, man.
So, yeah, man.
You know, as Eddie Bravo would say, look into it.
Yeah.
Good call, man.
Yeah, look into it.
Yeah, it's interesting with the virus, like, that's why a lot of people, they want to be able to open their businesses back up.
They want to be able to go live normal lives again.
And if we lived in a communist country or socialist, then the government could say, okay, shut down.
You have to do it.
That's it.
But we don't live in that.
We live in a democracy where people can have businesses.
And at a certain point, people want their rights.
They want to be able to run their businesses.
So it's really interesting.
You know, it's a real experiment.
And I understand why people now are like, let's get back.
Let's take some chances at getting it back to normal.
You know, other people are like, you want to kill everybody?
You want to kill everybody.
You're going to kill everybody.
Well, I mean, some people could stay home.
I mean, you know, it's, that's the thing about America.
It's like everybody, everybody has a say.
You know, and the government isn't the be all end all.
And the people have a voice, or at least we think that we do, you know.
It's interesting, man.
It's a lot of interesting levels of stuff going on.
I personally, I felt like when I was in, I mean, I was just in southern Utah, but I felt like I went to some, I went to just a whole new world.
But I was able to go to restaurants.
There was one horrible place I went to called Porter's, I think it was.
Jesus Christ.
Why would you sell food to somebody if your food isn't any good?
You're wasting your time.
You're wasting their time.
Hey.
Hey, this is garbage.
You want some?
You're going to hate it.
And I don't even like it.
I work here and I don't even like it.
So nobody cares along the entire transaction line.
Anyway, let's take another call or two that came in, man.
Here we go.
Hey, Theo, this is Adrian Gregory calling from down here in Oklahoma.
What's up, Adrian?
Thank you for calling, young fella.
Gang shit.
I'm sitting here listening to your latest episode and the guy where he went to college for nine years and this and that, you know, and that's badass that he graduated finally.
Kind of had a similar story, you know, growing up wrestling, you know, throughout school.
Got a college, a couple scholarships for wrestling.
Turns out ended up getting my girlfriend pregnant.
Oh, yeah, boy.
Wrestling with that ass, you feel me?
Wrestling with them ivories, baby.
Gang.
Wife now, you know, we've been together for 13 years, but had to put some of my stuff, some of my dreams on hold, you know.
But come this December, I'll be graduating and working on power lines out here, you know, gang shit.
Keep doing you, man.
I really enjoy it.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Man, look, I like to call, man.
You know, you got to, you always have to work.
We got to stay working.
And, you know, you say you had to put your dreams on hold, and I could understand that.
It's got to be really tough.
You know, I've always had the dreams also of having a family and of being able to be in that comfortable situation.
And, you know, having that place to go home to in the evening.
And, you know, you open your door and, you know, there's somebody there that cares about you and that you care about.
And you maintain that.
You know, you wake up each day and go to bed each night knowing that this is my family and I'm not straying from this plan and this is what I'm here to do.
And it's funny because to me, that's almost a dream.
You know, telling jokes and screwing around basically or whatever I do.
I don't know.
But that kind of stuff was always the easier part for me.
When I think of walking into a home and, you know, having there be someone that I love and, you know, and I want to touch them and be naughty and everything.
And they got a child or something in the other room, maybe doing a you know, one of those color by numbers or doing a, you know, drawing some shit or something.
But, you know, just having that place.
Having that continuity.
You know, there's a lot of there's a lot of power in that.
That's a real dream, man.
I think, you know, you'll get other chances for your, for your, you know, you got to wrestle.
You'll get other chances to wrestle, bro.
Hell, you up there wrestling with voltage, daddy.
Dude, you up there wrestling with them gigawatts.
Dude, that freaking...
That should be lights out.
Dude, that thing will blow your occipitals right out of your ass.
But congratulations, man.
Nine years in school, you got it.
You got your family.
And look, now they got all these older leagues.
You could always get into a 40-year-older wrestling.
You know, I mean, I still want to go and train some jiu-jitsu.
I still want to get out there onto the mats.
You know?
But, but yeah, you know, we all have dreams, and some of them we get to do now, and some of them we get to do later, man.
But it sounds like you're making some things come true in your life and also in the lives of others, man.
So I see you.
I see what you're doing, bro.
You know, and be safe up there, dog.
Dang, you up there on them power lines, boy, you wilding.
You wilding, bro.
Good luck, dude.
Don't make me go to a damn YouTube funeral.
Don't make me comment buzz buzz because of the power.
That would be the first thing I would comment.
All right, let's get through.
Let's get through this wonderful episode.
We got another text that came in from Patreon.
Aaron Lugo, did you see any beautiful stars out in southern Utah?
I did see some stars.
I did see some nice stars out there.
What did I see?
Man, the mountains are just...
It...
I mean, it really was.
Just so majestic.
It just.
I mean, we went out to Gooseberry Point.
We went up to KTR.
We found snow for the kiddos.
And, you know, the nephews got to throw snow.
I met a kid out there who had a mullet just like me, a little fellow named Colton or something, or Colby or something, I think, named after the cheese.
And just a beautiful group out there.
My little nephew was weird, bro.
He was putting the front of his pants, like his wet part of his crotch in the, like a front part of his pants in the water.
Just cooling off his junk.
Just kids are weird, man.
Kids are weird and they're wonderful, but they're also weird.
But yeah, I had a nice time, man.
I was lucky to be able to go do that.
And it was a little risky at first, but look, I think we're going to smoothly get back into regular life and I'm looking forward to it.
That's really what I think.
And I hope everybody's adjusting and getting ready to adjust comfortably.
And I hope that people have found some joy and some good things have happened to them during this time.
Let's take a call.
Here we go.
985-664-9503.
Hey, Theo.
This is Tanner from Nebraska.
What up, Tanner?
And from Nebraska, baby.
And this is my third time calling.
The first time I ended it a little short.
And second time, I got interrupted by a work call.
So I just wanted to say that my car got broken into, and I lost all my tools that I need for school because I'm going to be an electrician.
I'm on the last quarter to be an electrical technology associate degree.
So I just wanted to tell everybody to be safe and keep your tools locked up.
Don't need prescription glasses because they'll take those too.
They'll take everything the ox cord and even my cologne.
So there must be a market out there for that for used cologne.
Well, I used to, you know, my mother for a little while was in the secondary magnet market.
You know, people throw magnets away and they don't want them anymore, refrigerator magnets and that kind of shit.
And for a while there, in the 90s, there was a secondary market there for magnets, magneting onward.
They're left my car next, so that's good.
But I just want to say thanks for everything you do.
Stay safe, like your cars, like your house.
Gang, gang, buzz, booze.
Gang, man, I'm sorry to hear about your tools, man.
They're really...
You got to finish up school, man.
Let me see if I can hit your hotline here, dog.
Tanner got them hitters.
Hey, man, this is Theo Vaughn, bro.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can.
Hey, how's it going, man?
I got your call about the tools, man.
What happened?
Yeah, so I mean, it was just last Sunday, and I went over to my girlfriend's house, and she lives, like, five minutes away from us, where I live with my two buddies.
And went over to her house for a normal night, and I came out, and I got in my car.
I just noticed everything was kind of thrown around.
And I was like, oh, that's kind of weird.
Maybe my girlfriend came in in the night and threw stuff around.
And so the first thing I did is I went out in the trunk.
And all my tools, everything was gone.
My sunglasses were gone.
They left me my chapstick, but yeah, everything was gone.
Oh, man, dude, that's the worst, bro.
I'm sorry to hear that, dude.
And it's for school?
Yeah, so I'm in a trade school to be an electrician, and I'm in my last quarter.
So I do my plumbing class, which is now online because of Corona.
But then, yeah, so I just, my next step is just to get a job out in the field, and then I'm done with my degree.
Word, man.
Well, congratulations.
You're almost being done with the degree.
I wanted to see if maybe we couldn't help out by if there's tools that you still need replacing, man.
We'd love to replace them for you.
Well, yeah, I mean, that'd be awesome.
I mean, honestly, I've tried to tell everyone, like, this is just a horrible thing that happened, but I mean, it does happen.
And, I mean, I've been in a pretty great position with my family.
They've kind of taken care of me, and it's really remarkable.
All the people have reached out and asked me if I needed tools.
So, I mean, there is some stuff that would be nice to get, but I don't want to force you guys to understand.
Well, it's no, man.
I like your attitude, brother.
Yeah, we'd love to have Nick reach out and see if there's a couple of things that we can't help out with or things that you need to, you know, that you still need.
And whatever it is, man, we want to help out, dude.
You know, I think it's cool to get a trade.
And especially, you're there so close to the finish line.
And I hate it when that kind of stuff happens, man.
Yeah.
I told, like, my buddy's dad, I told him about it because I work for him at the moment.
And he said, just make sure you don't lose your faith in humanity because not all people are like that.
And that kind of hit home for me.
And, I mean, you can't just walk around with your head down.
I mean, it's a bad lesson that I had to learn, and it sucks.
But, I mean, not all people are like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true, man.
I love that lesson, bro.
I'm glad you just said that, man.
It is.
Because it's so easy that we could just say, oh, everything's like that.
It's so easy to just jump on that.
It's a little harder to keep our own head up and to kind of hold the line and say, you know what, that's just one thing that happened.
It's unfortunate, but that's not everybody.
Yeah.
And I mean, the best thing is if you start thinking about it like that, then, I mean, think of all the times that it hasn't happened to you.
Like, how many times have you gotten to somewhere safely and you haven't even thought about, wow, I didn't die today?
Like, it's easy to focus on the negatives, but it's hard to focus on the positives.
So that's my kind of message.
And that's what I've learned over this last week is just kind of working through it and just protecting myself and my family.
It's just recognize when you do have something good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love it, man.
I love your attitude, man.
I'm going to have Nick reach out and keep in touch.
And if there's things that we can help you replace or anything that you need to help you get through to the end of the semester, we want to help out.
Well, yeah, I appreciate it so much.
And thank you guys for doing everything you do.
You keep me going through it.
Everything.
So I appreciate it.
Well, that's nice of you to say, man.
And best of luck, too, with this last semester.
Thank you so much, Steel.
All right.
Peace, Tanter, man.
Have a good day, brother.
Yep.
Thank you, guys.
All right, gang, right up peace.
Man, that's nice.
You know, that's nice to be reminded oh it's nice to be reminded that you know we can look at you know we can look at the we can look at all the rocks or we could ride in the river man yeah just that hit that that really hit me yet is to focus on the good bruh
there's a lot of good out there a lot of fun stuff going on a lot of people having fun we'll take this one this last call that came in this is kind of wild but uh i wanted to hear it yeah what's up to this is tyler from uh texas i uh wanted to tell you that i i rear-ended your car when i on my 18th birthday in covington louisiana and
you got out and i was like oh my god it's my birthday and i just crashed my car and i had a force focus and you had a uh i think it was a camry or something and you said uh it's your birthday and i said yeah he said it's all right man get out of here and you let me go never forget that shit gang that's funny man that's funny well i'm glad i'm glad that it worked
out that way tyler man uh i probably it probably dude i remember i would borrow a camry sometimes uh and i wasn't supposed to be doing and i would i would get you know i would dip chewing tobacco real heavy that plugged tobacco and i'd vomit out of the windows of it um so who knows man i could have been not in a car that i was supposed to be in but i'm glad we both made it out unscathed from
that uh thank you guys man thanks for making this this episode was fun this was fun just hearing getting getting people's different points of views and uh and just i don't know just being alive you know there's fun there's this is it this is the gift and um and a lot of the gift is each other and a lot of the gift is uh the experiences that we have and sharing them and i'm not trying to preach that i'm just i believe that you
know i believe that and i and i believe that right now after this episode you know this this just made me feel it was fun you know shit i got a guy here who uh we got in a car accident you know we got some blacksmith we got a guy making black people in canada i mean if that isn't that's beautiful you know if that isn't trying to help another race i don't know what is man um it's just there's a lot
going on brother there's a lot going on let's well i'll take one more let's go hey theo uh this is tate from des moines uh i'm just calling and i listened to that ladies night and man it touched my soul man in a lot of ways you know you're talking about life and what's going on in these current times and i just wanted to call in man i've been listening for a while now and you do help people man you really do and i'm sure you know it i'm sure you get
told it every day but i mean i struggle with some of the same problems that you do man like not not being able to lead myself you know that addiction piece and that depression piece man it's it's legit i've been struggling with that for shit a couple years now um you know it's it's a it's a daily battle and you you know it like i know it like everyone that struggles with it knows it um but i did just get a new dog and
i named him theo um that's it's pretty cool man you help me a lot and take care man love love you love you too bro thanks man thanks for the nice message dude if that dog starts doing cocaine boy you know it you know then that's then we are of the same breed for sure um but nah man you know you do the same thing for me man by making that call and it is a daily battle you know a lot of people that struggle with addiction and
that sort of thing man when when you have a brain like us is i don't think other people realize this my problem every day isn't not drinking or doing drugs my problem is me and just something inside of me that doesn't fit correctly and that every day i have to get up and i have to sand it and i have to make sure that it's going to um it's like a this puzzle piece that regrows overnight and it can regrow negatively overnight and i got to get up in the morning and i got to evaluate what's
going on before i can attach myself to the rest of the world or things ain't going to be real kosher um but thank you for that bro thank you for the nice message man a lot of good people around these parts bro um let's roll out the same way we came in man i know some of y'all like to get bent out and so a good song to do it to is uh is this one right here man drunk outdoors
you guys take care of yourselves man be good to yourself you know i'm gonna try to do the same all right gang outside we got the dollar double child we go right outside door you
got money, you can get a little bit.
If you got money, get that hit up.
If you got money, you can get a little bit.
If you got money, get that hitter About to roll right in the taping an episode of King and a Sting here.
So this has been a great prep for that, man.
It's put me in a comfortable place, man.
And thank you to the North Mississippi All-Stars in this song, Drunk Outdoors.
We'll put a link where you can get that hitter, man, in the YouTubes.
We'll put a link where you can get that hitter.
Ten toes down, soldiers on the grind.
Down at the club on the county line.
Ten toes down, soldiers on the grind.
Let's go get drunk outdoors.
Burping on dirty dance floors.
Let's go get drunk outdoors.
Burping on dirty dance floors.
Let's go get drunk outdoors.
Don't get drunk outdoors Music by Ben Thede Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sweet.
Easy to you.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
John.
I'll take a quarter pottle of cheese out of the glory.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
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