Theo sits down with H3’s Ethan Klein to talk about their respective interactions with Bill Burr, Ethan being a new father, and the future of of H3 Productions.
Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ H3 Podcast https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLtREJY21xRfCuEKvdki1Kw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode brought to you by Bex Sunglasses Use code THEO at https://BEXsunglasses.com for 20% off your order Italic $20 off orders of $100 or more when you use code THEO https://italic.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Bmayer Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brandon Woolsey Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Anderson Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dan Draper Dan Perdue Danny Crook David Christopher David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Doug C Dusty Baker Eric Tobey Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter James Schneider Jameson Flood Jayme Sta Jeffrey Lusero Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Joakim Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaylyn Dudich Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Lawrence Abinosa Lea Rashka Leighton Fields Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Noah Bissell NYCWendy1 OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Sagar Jha Sean Scott Shane Pacheco Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Taryn Feingold Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Tito Liebowitz Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Vanessa Amaya Victor I tuck back and sit down to pee Johnson II Vince Gonsalves Vlog Master William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke Harris
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I want to let you know before we begin the episode a couple dates that are rescheduled.
These are rescheduled dates.
February 27th.
The Sayersville, New Jersey date has now been moved, and it is February 27th in Red Bank, New Jersey at the Count Basie or Bassey Center for the Arts.
It's going to be the Count Bassey Center for the Dark Arts that night.
But those tickets go on sale Friday at 10 a.m.
Eastern Standard Time.
As well, the next night, I will be in Oxen Hill, Maryland at the theater at MGM National Harbor.
That is a rescheduled date, and it is now on February 28th, Oxen Hill, Maryland.
It's back on.
So if you had tickets before, then you will still have tickets.
They should be emailing you.
So you may want to touch base with your email.
Today's guest is a young man.
We became buddies on his podcast.
And I don't even like saying the word buddies, actually, so I'm not going to say it again.
But I will say that this man is a unique man.
And he's from the H3 podcast.
And he got some new child, him and his wife.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ethan Klein.
Oh, my.
Shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories.
Shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories.
You look lean.
Are you even leaning out?
Well, thank you that.
I've been on a feeding window, which is a funny way of saying intermediate fasting.
Intermediate fasting.
I know what you're talking about.
I am fasting sometimes.
Intermittent?
Intermittent, thank you.
I feel like a farm animal.
I like the feeding window analogy because it just sounds funny.
Like I just eat out of a trough for eight hours and then go into fasting.
I could see that.
I could see you with something around your neck full of nuts and beans.
Just a feeding bag around my neck at all times.
I feed between 10 and 6 and then I fast.
So it's good for me because my urge is to eat all the time.
And so by putting that restriction on myself, I feel like it cuts down on a lot of late night snacking.
Extra meals.
EMs, yeah.
Yeah, extra meals.
EMs make BMs, is what my grandma used to say.
Your grandma never said that.
She might have.
My grandma didn't let me come visit her for 10 years at one point in her life.
Why?
You had beef with your own grandma?
I didn't.
She had beef with me.
I was too young, I think, to have beef.
How does your own grandma have beef with you?
She had beef with me.
We had some discrepancies at the house, and then she said I couldn't come visit.
Tell me what happened.
You're being obscure.
Well, no, she said I ate some candies at her house, and I didn't.
I don't know if I ate them or not.
You're making this shit up.
No, I'm not.
You don't get banished from your grandma over candies.
You can use the term disbarred if you want.
Your grandma disbarred you over some Werthers classics.
Shit, that's cold-blooded.
Bro, it was icebergs.
Your background is tough.
That was probably one of the worst.
What kind of candies?
Oh, and here's the thing.
I know what it was.
It was chocolate-covered cherries.
And here's the thing.
She made these good cookies, and I didn't get to have this for a long time.
10 years over some as God's playing, bro.
You know?
I guess so.
Well, now that I know that the show is going, what were we talking about?
Because I was interested if we could go take a step back.
Yeah, what were we talking about?
Oh, we were talking about Beryl Bilber.
Yeah, we're talking about, oh, welcome to the Bilberr recovery.
Yeah.
I went into therapy after that episode.
I'm not even being kidding.
I mean, I was having a depressive episode for a long time.
Right.
And I had these antidepressants next to my bed for a long time.
Are you taking them?
No, I hadn't decided to take them yet.
I was hesitant.
And after that episode with Bilbert, I came home, and that's when I started taking antidepressants, and I went to therapy.
Wow.
It was soul-crushing.
And was it soul-crushing because you felt like as an interviewer, it was soul-crushing, or just like on a human level?
Like, do you think, do you know the levels where it felt that it hit you?
Right.
Everything, man.
My fans were, I don't know, fans, but the audience were very harsh.
As an interviewer, I felt like a failure.
It was just off.
It wasn't, you know, it wasn't, it didn't feel that bad, but it was the reaction, the audience reaction to it afterwards.
I mean, I knew I had goofed up and that it was not the best interview.
And I was such a big fan of Bill Burrow, obviously, who isn't.
He's a legend.
And you just, in your mind, have high hopes that you'll be able to get something good out of that.
Yeah, there's expectations, I feel like.
But there was people making video essays about how what a terrible interviewer I am.
Oh, really?
That's YouTube style.
That's kind of stuff I'm somewhat used to.
But that just felt, I just, it felt like a rock bottom for me because I was having a hard time with the podcast and interviews in general.
And that for me was just kind of like the culmination of a lot of stress.
Oh, that's interesting.
So it was like, so in hindsight, though, does it almost feel like it was supposed to happen?
Like it was like, oh, I needed something that kind of made me look at stuff or just gave me like a moment to reflect?
Well, I definitely needed something to push me because taking antidepressants, going to therapy was like the best choice I ever made for me and my family and professionally, too.
I mean, it's made everything better.
Really?
So, I mean, if it wasn't that, it would be something else.
But, um.
But that was like a little bit of somehow it was part of a catalyst.
It was, it was a fusion like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was, it was that.
And I had him on a second time somewhat recently, and it went great.
So I'm happy to hear that.
Yeah.
And he reached out.
He said he wanted to do it.
I was like, God bless, dude.
Let's go.
This is like Fear Factor for me.
Round two.
Yeah.
Ruined my life the first time.
Let's go.
And yeah, that's interesting.
Yeah, it was a yeah, when he came in here, it was a strange experience, man.
It was, I don't know.
I just felt like he was a different person not on podcasts than he was on podcasts.
It's almost like, but then also, I didn't really know him that great.
And so maybe I just don't know how people are.
That's true.
I wonder if he listens to these.
Probably not.
Oh, I mean, I doubt he does.
I mean, everybody's busy.
Yeah, he doesn't care what we think about him.
I listen to some of those murder things, you know, where people get murdered.
Some guy went walking into the woods in the Joshua Tree and fucking never came out.
And how do you hear that?
There's a podcast that's called like missing people or something.
Do you feel like that when you talk about Bill Burr, like a missing person?
Oh, dude, I felt like, oh, I felt like it was a couple of minutes afterwards.
I was just kind of wandering around, you know?
But I don't know.
I just, you know, I did not know him that good.
Let me ask you this.
When you guys ended, I mean, it was clearly, you knew it wasn't going well during, or was it when you started the research?
No, I knew that there was something uncomfortable.
I didn't know if, I didn't know, I thought for a second, like, maybe I was going crazy or I was like getting frank.
You're getting in your head.
What's going on?
Well, it was just an uncomfortable.
I'm just like, oh, well, he and I, obviously, there's only so much time that we probably...
No, it's fine.
It's because we shouldn't talk that much.
You know?
I just thought, here's a guy who is very, he's exactly what I thought.
If I really would have looked at it, oh, here's a guy who maybe this is exactly the way he is on stage.
There's not a way for, there's no real difference.
You know, it's just he's just rambling kind of like if he's unhappy, he's unhappy and he, you know, eternally disgruntled.
Right.
He's kind of, you know, guy who's kind of fighting against his own probably ill wills and shit.
Looks like all of us are in some weird ways, but for him, maybe it's like a just a different battle.
And also that he likes to, that he's the center of attention a lot, I think.
And so it's he probably, he might not be able to really notice how other people are feeling or reacting.
That's kind of the vibe that I got at the end.
So the thing is, like, I feel like most guests, 99% of guests, they're more gracious.
You know, they won't take the opportunity if they see you are uncomfortable or you goofed up or maybe you said, like, when he sees an opening, he attacks.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And it's the same way as comedy, which is fine.
That's why he's so good at comedy.
But he is unlike anyone else I've ever interviewed because the second time when I interviewed him, I really just talked as little as I possibly could.
And that was the best.
But you obviously have to handle each interview differently, but he was unlike anyone I had ever interviewed because.
Yeah, and I don't even really interview.
He was one like, why?
Finish that sentence.
Sorry, I said to him.
Because he's not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
You know what I mean?
And he will expose any chinks in your armor.
Yeah, yeah.
Because for him, that's comedy, right?
Right.
For him, he's going to make a funny moment out of it.
But for me, I'm like, oh, shit, dude.
My fragile ego.
And yeah, for me, I think I'm used to, I think I'm good to rip on people if that's what we're doing.
I think I never knew what we were doing.
I think it's like it brought roller skates to a fucking sword fight.
That's funny.
Yeah, that's a good analogy.
That's a good analogy.
So I think because in previous conversations I've had with him, it had been more of a communication about kind of real stuff that was going on in my career and questions I had.
And I was kind of looking up to him, I think, also in some way for me as a role model, you know.
And when you get a certain response from someone you have expectations on in your own mind, for me, when I get a response to them that they don't realize that I see them that way or it doesn't matter to them or whatever, and that's fine.
It's its own world I built up in my head.
For some reason, that hits harder a little bit, you know, where it like, it's just a weirder dent.
But for me, also, it's just like, I'm not even a fucking interviewer, dog.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.
We're doing our best, but I was just happy to sit down with him.
Yeah.
I think maybe we sat down maybe on the wrong day.
Maybe we started, you know, I don't know, but stuff we were talking about off the podcast.
When I brought it up on the podcast, it was like we had never spoken off the podcast.
And that seemed very weird to me.
I had the same reaction to him.
But like, you made this joke about, do you have a, do you have a gun in your helicopter?
But he, he just, I don't know why he took that so the wrong way.
Oh, yeah.
Like that's just a funny, I mean, I mean, that's just a funny premise.
Yeah, I think at that point, I, uh, I had also, at some point, I kind of checked out, I think.
Yeah.
You know, I think I was kind of.
But you said to me that you don't want to do guests anymore.
I'm doing, no, I'm doing less guests.
I had the same reaction, too.
I was canceling episodes after that.
Oh, no, I was, I needed to cancel episodes way before that.
I was trying to pair down.
We were just trying to just too much stress.
What do you mean?
What's stress about what?
This year, I just hit a level of just too much stress for me.
You know, just doing like you get into, you know, like I started podcasting.
It was just me talking to myself, which is what's always going on in my head anyway.
And then you get like, oh, and then you have a guest on, you try that.
And you're like, oh, it was kind of cool.
And then you try it again.
And a couple of times it's really fun.
And then you're like, okay, well, do I interview, you know, you see what other people do.
You see what other podcasters are doing interviewing all types of people.
And so then I start doing that and like just kind of finding my way what fits and what doesn't.
Then Brendan and I started that King and the Sting podcast.
And that's just goofing around.
But it also took a lot of, it took a lot of, it took time, it took effort.
And so it just all became a lot.
And then with the tour dates, it literally – There was about two months, man, where I don't even know like my thought, my peace, I was always a couple seconds off of peace of mind.
It was just, I was never able to, yeah, and just to feel okay or know what Was going on.
It was like I was speeding, but I didn't even know how to work the vehicle or something.
And I was still going real fast.
So that to me, it was just like, I need to tail back.
What am I?
Do I want to be a comedian?
Are we doing podcasting?
You have a lot of podcasts going on here.
You have three different sets in this studio.
Well, we will, yeah, when we move King and the Sting into here.
But this is only once in a while now, so this is kind of nice.
You know, now it's like, okay, I get to look forward to a conversation as opposed to being like, okay, you know, getting right here and being like, all right, I have to do this conversation.
I know exactly what you mean.
I was in the same place where I was taking, just trying to get more interviews, but you end up sitting across people that you, frankly, don't care about.
Yeah, that's true.
Or not interested in or you don't have chemistry in.
Yeah, Wolf of Wall Street, that happened with me.
That guy I thought was just kind of, I don't know.
I didn't, I don't know.
And then I felt I couldn't interview him the way I wanted to.
It was just like, I just didn't have enough of a plan of why I was even talking to this guy.
I know exactly what you mean, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
So the last time I saw you, I'm trying to think if that was right before you kind of took a break.
That was one of my funnest interviews, man, was going in there.
Really?
Well, sometimes I like being a guest better, man.
I know exactly what you mean, man.
It's a lot of pressure being the host.
You have to make sure the show's running.
I find it one of the hardest things as the host to be is like to actually listen to what they're saying, but also being prepared where the conversation goes next so that it's not dead air.
Right.
And it's because I really want to listen, but sometimes I'll be listening and I'll be like, huh.
And then you don't know where you're going next.
Yeah.
See, that's my worst moment as a host.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So not knowing where you're going to.
Being a guest is great because it's all like if this show sucks, it's your fault, I feel like.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I think some of the hosting maybe or just being like the person, the inviter, you know, it's almost like being a woman during a sex pop.
It's like, hey, come over here.
Let's see what you got.
And if you, if you suck, it's your fault.
Right.
I love that analogy.
Yeah.
Here we got a question right here from a guy who might be Jack London's son.
Gang, gang, what up to y'all?
What up, Ethan?
This is Chester Pink coming in from Detroit, Michigan.
It's cold out here, man.
I just wanted to call and ask Ethan, when you got into YouTubing, what was like your goal?
Like, did you have all of this crazy success, you know, in your head?
Or were you just making funny videos and it just happened organically?
I'm curious because I think a lot of people get into what you do now.
You know, they see you and they say, oh, man, I want that.
So they get into it maybe for different reasons than they should or than you did when you got it started.
So I'm just curious.
So to hear the podcast.
Gang, gang.
Gang, bro.
Thank you.
He looks cool.
He does look cold, man.
Damn, Detroit.
But he looks like one of those guys who's able to also, like, if you bundle up too much, you can't meet any women.
You know?
That's the thing about being a guy in the cold.
If you bundle too much, you're never going to meet any woman.
They're not going to be like, oh, I'm going to fuck this cotton ball going down the street.
They got to see what's going on.
Yeah, you still have to show a little.
Whereas a guy will almost unwrap anything to see if they can fuck it.
Do you think that guys should be able to like, you know how, I mean, women can walk around with their cleavage out.
Do you think that guys should be able to show their dick off?
Like tight pants and maybe like a maybe like a window to the balls or some shit.
Like a little plastic window that you can see somebody.
It reminds me of that old song.
Right.
I feel like chicks want to see our dicks on the street.
Uh-uh.
That's insane, man.
That's insane, bro.
That's fucking vague nation, bro.
That's fucking insane.
No, nobody wants to see my dick.
Well, I think if somebody, if you could show the nuts in a way where you could see the cleavage of them.
Nut cleavage, that's what I mean.
Oh, now that's talking, but I don't.
The problem is your dick is in front of your nuts.
Well, you wrap it up.
You tape it up or some shit.
Yeah, but now that's going to take an extra six minutes.
But it's like the peacock feathers.
It's the whole beauty you thing.
Like these girls spend a lot of time getting ready in the morning.
Why shouldn't we?
Let's tape our dicks up and get some fucking nut cleavage out there.
I don't know, man.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you, man.
Forget about the winter clothes.
We got to get our nuts out there.
Do you think you have stylish dick or not?
I think my dick used to be stylish, but as I got older and fatter, my dick is turning into like a fucking California raisin, dude.
Is that true?
Now, what happens to your dick is you get put on more weight?
I've always kind of weighed the same.
Well, your erection quality gets worse.
Really?
I think just because, you know, you're fat, you're out of shape, you got to get that good blood flow.
Oh, my.
I mean, it works.
You know, it's fine.
It works.
Ela laughs at me when I say that.
So she has some confidence in my opinion, at least, which is nice.
You know, you want someone to believe in your dick.
Can she does she?
Yeah, I mean, she must enjoy your dick.
That's the thing about a woman.
They have to enjoy.
That's the thing about meeting a man is really a two-part thing.
They have to meet you and like you.
And then they also, you have this second buddy that they have to meet that they kind of have to like enough.
That's funny.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, you also got to like my friend little Roger.
You know, it's like you have this one.
Some people like him, some people hate him.
Hopefully you're one of the ones that like him.
That's such a crazy date.
Yeah, she likes.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
I feel like vagina is not like that.
Like it's all like, it's all good.
Yeah, it's all pretty good.
I mean, you put it in and at a certain point, like, you don't even have to really see it, you know?
Just happens.
But to answer your question, you know.
Did I have a question?
Yeah, about my penis.
What happens when you get fat and old?
Well, not old.
I mean, you're not.
Not old, not 34. I'm not old.
Oh, you're not old.
I'm 39. Oh.
How's your dick working?
My dick has never worked that great.
Really?
Yeah.
My dick worked really good when I was about 17 because I had a real large penis since I was very young.
So the same size penis.
So it's got smaller and smaller as you age.
No, it's gotten probably the same.
I think it's looked different.
Maybe.
You said since you were, what age you had a big penis?
Really young.
So that's what I'm saying.
As you aged, you got bigger.
Your penis Stays the same size.
Dude, I remember there were times where I could wrap both of my arms around, almost like that's how young, like I wrap it around my penis and pull it close into my body.
Like, I remember, yeah, just like almost like high, like at one point, almost being able to not hide behind it, but I remember definitely being like, Well, that sounds pretty incredible.
So, what is the conflict with it?
Just that it never grew.
It stayed that way, and I grew.
That's what I said.
It is?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, is it so are you happy with the size of it and the, you know what I mean?
My opinion is a little bit more of like kind of a wider penis.
It's more of like somebody trying to park a church.
It's more like a church van type of a deal, you know?
It's a choad, as they say.
No, it's not a choad.
Choad is very short.
I think choad is like a fat guy kind of bothering you, you know?
I don't feel like it's that.
I don't think they're, I mean, the way you're describing your penis, I think, is sounds like something to be something to be proud of.
Yeah, maybe it is, man.
I think I, yeah, maybe I have a negative idea of it.
What about your penis, man?
Like, when I was younger, I was very proud of it.
I was like, I'm ready to put this thing to work.
I'm very proud of this.
This is beautiful.
I like this.
You remember showing it to women when you were showing it to girls?
Oh, well, I didn't get the opportunity.
You know what I'm saying?
Not that much opportunity, but I did.
I had nice comments, you know.
I never had a problem.
It's good.
But, you know, my pubes get longer.
Like, my dick, all of a sudden, when, like, I'm not hard, my dick is like in a, it's, like, lost in the, it's like an earthworm in a jungle of fucking in a humid jungle, dude.
Damn.
I got to mow the lawn.
And I'm getting fat.
I can't even see my penis these days, boy.
Wow.
Does it really get wild when you get started putting on some weight?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
You can't.
And I'm, I, you know, I think.
Is it like you're looking for something?
It's not like that.
Also, I had anxiety problems.
In college, I had trouble getting it up, too, at certain points.
Oh, yeah.
And that was a nightmare.
Dude, if there was a thunderstorm in the area, I couldn't get an erection.
I couldn't get an erection near broken glass.
I had so much kind of sensual anxiety, man.
A ton of that.
I totally relate to that.
It went away when I was in monogamous relationships.
That's when I was able to perform at full mass, you know?
Oh, wow.
But there was times when I just wanted to, it was such a shame, you know, because it would have been the perfect time for that thing to work.
You know what I mean?
Dude, I remember there was a girl I met at Tulane University years ago.
And we've been out, met at a bar or something.
I think I'd known her, but finally we met out and we went back to her place or my place or something.
I probably didn't even have a place, but we went somewhere to do sex.
And I remember I just couldn't get an erection.
You know, and I'm like, fuck, bro.
And she's ready to go.
Dude, I had both my arms up.
Everything else in the every body.
Everything was up.
Everything is erect, bro.
Well, that makes your penis look even sadder.
Oh, you're like.
And I would wear tight socks even to keep blood flow into the more perfect.
Did you really?
Oh, 100%.
Does that work?
I felt like it did.
Like it was a support thing, but I don't know if it really did.
But I would wear like those compression socks, you know, like senior citizens wear.
Oh, that's so sick.
Dude, it was so sick.
That's high level.
Pulling those long bitches on.
Fucking just going to the club, you know?
I wonder if girls.
You're just fucking rolling into some comm socks.
Is that something?
Just to listen to Nelly, bro.
That's awesome, though.
I wonder if that's thing.
Is that something guys do?
Bro, here's the thing.
Was that your idea or was that shared with you?
No, no, no.
That was my idea.
That was your original idea.
Yeah, I mean, it just makes it.
You're a Renaissance man, dude.
That's incredible.
I don't know about that.
I mean, that's.
I wish I thought of that.
You ever do anything like that?
No, I can't say that I have.
No, but Nick's also made some.
Nick's done a lot, though.
Nick put this whole studio together.
Yeah.
You must have a really nice dick.
I thought you were going to go into some more of my poor choices.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks.
I was going to, but I'm trying to change my way, I think.
So I'm trying to think of possibly.
Yeah, he's got a nice dick for sure.
But anyway, yeah, man, and I met it.
So anyway, couldn't, bro, and here was the excuse I remember that I used, dude.
I had to go meet somebody to go swimming, bro.
It was like 5. Oh, you got out of there?
Yeah.
I was like, oh, I got it.
I'm supposed to meet somebody to swim at 5.30, I remember.
People swim at 5.30.
That's what I thought.
I'd seen some people swim.
Early morning swimming, yeah.
And she's like, really?
I was like, yeah, we got a group.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm sad for that past year.
Years later.
Yeah.
Meet up with her again.
Same fucking thing.
Because it's so, dude, the erection mind connection is too strong.
Because you remember that and you're like, all right, I'm over that.
That's an old me.
But the mind gets the best of you.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And that's what it was, dude.
I mean, I'm so in my head.
I mean, it's so hard for me to leave my head to live in a comfortable place in the world.
That's why I'm constantly seeing all my faults, constantly seeing all my problems, constantly seeing, you know, all my, you know, and people are like, you got to quit being so hard on yourself.
I wish I could.
I want to.
The bigger thing for me is I just have to get out of my head because my head is just faulty.
You know, it doesn't work really great.
I'll tell you what.
I know exactly what you mean.
I mean, I feel the same way, but, you know, you have this lens that you see the whole world through.
And when you different people, I've been through different shit, you know, and it all gunks up your lens.
And, you know, you don't see the world as it is, but as you are, right?
And so when your lens is all gunked up and you've been through all this shit and, you know, it's hard to see, to not see things all messy like that.
Yeah.
But do you go to therapy?
Yeah, I go to therapy and I do 12-step.
You know, I'm in a recovery program, so I go to 12-step and that kind of stuff.
What are you recovering from?
I go to 12-step for drugs and alcohol.
What were you addicted to?
You know, I think honestly, when I really think back on it, I was addicted to the way that I think.
My alcoholism is really...
Yeah, I have alcoholism.
So, you know, I never drank much.
I would do some cocaine sometime.
I really enjoyed it.
But, I mean, my favorite drink was cocaine, really.
That's not alcohol.
But I would fucking, I'll take a glass on it.
I'll take a glass of it.
Dude, I'll even fucking put ice in it.
I don't care, man.
You know, cocaine was just really enjoyable.
It's probably one of the best powders, I think.
I don't like it.
Isn't that interesting?
Really?
I've tried it and I hated it.
What did it make you just juke?
Just like I drank a bunch of coffee.
I didn't feel euphoric.
I didn't feel confident.
I felt just like on edge.
I couldn't sleep.
I didn't feel good at all.
And I would sit with people and they'd be like, people get so intense and like chatty.
But I was very aware of that that wasn't like a real moment between people.
It was just like you get all fucking crazy.
Wordburger cocaine.
People, I fucking call them.
You're like, this conversation's bullshit.
Yeah, you're just bullshit.
It doesn't make, it's nothing.
It's nothing.
Yeah, you might sell your car.
Who gives a fuck?
They're even talking about it for 40 minutes.
You know what I'm saying?
It's fucking 48. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
We're in a water burger.
Yeah, exactly.
That's right.
That's what I think of when I think of cocaine.
But I think I'm lucky in that my body, it rebels against drug use.
I always have the worst experiences with all drugs.
But cocaine was good for you.
No, it wasn't actually.
I mean, experience is very much like you described it.
So what did you like about it?
I think I liked that it gave me an excuse to feel that way without like it wasn't my fault anymore in a way because I would feel like edgy.
I would feel like, you know, just kind of overwhelmed or something.
It's like, oh, well, now it's, at least it's this, this substance's fault, not yours or something.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Interesting.
But in the end, I just realized it was for my thinking.
You know, my thinking, I need to have a program to help me relieve the way that I think and the way I feel about myself because those are really the drugs that I'm addicted to.
I'm addicted to, I think, feeling poorly about myself.
Right.
And I'm addicted to like this, just a negative system that started in my head, I think, when I was young that, you know, just a bad software kind of, you know.
I know exactly what you mean, man.
And I think what you're saying is right, because your brain releases chemicals that makes you feel certain ways.
And when you're used to releasing this chemical that makes you anxious or stressed or whatever bad feelings you have where your mind is racing and you're thinking all these negative thoughts, this is the kind of chemical your body gets used to producing.
And it's hard to put a stop to that.
Yeah.
When you're just sitting calmly in your house, your body's not producing that shit.
And so it's hard to kind of rewire your system.
But the antidepressants changed my life.
Really?
Yeah.
That's what helped me rewire my shit.
How long have you been on them?
Over a year.
Wow.
Fuck yeah.
Welcome.
Wait, you take it too?
Dude, 20 years.
20 years.
Holy fuck.
I used to do some positories before I go to the bar.
I'd put two fucking Zoloft in my ass, dude, when I was going to Charlotte, when I used to live in Charleston.
Why up your ass?
I don't know.
This is about the time when I think that kind of shit was popular.
You know, it was kind of somewhat different.
I don't think that Men and Hammer's experience.
Oh, dude, I'll tell you this, bro.
I could drink 13 gin and tonics if I had two of those in my ass, man.
I don't think you're supposed to drink on antidepressants.
You're not.
I think what they say actually is that it makes it worse.
I mean, it was all for me, it always felt like it was a little bit bad, but I do remember I could, the first time I got Zoloff, man, it made me feel like, oh, wow, man, I'm a cool guy.
Really?
I can drink.
I can get up early and go do something.
Oh, it activated you.
Feel good.
Yeah.
What did it do for you?
Nothing.
I swear to God, it didn't affect me at all.
The only thing that changed is that I became less irritable, which was really like destroying my life.
It's just I was so fucking irritable all the time.
Now, irritable, did that display itself as like anger?
Did everything turn up?
Did you get patients?
Yeah, anger.
I will get like irrationally angry at my wife.
Oh, yeah.
And I know in my mind, it's the worst part.
It's like, dude, why is this making you so upset?
There's no reason for you to be this upset over this, but I couldn't control it.
It's a prison.
You're a prisoner to your emotions in that regard.
Dude, it's so funny.
He said, I went to the gym this morning, right?
And I hired a trainer recently to help me just get me a little more motivated.
And when I got there, I was just not in a good mood, man.
It was 9 a.m., you know, so not that early.
And I told him, I said, hey, man, I'm just in a really bad mood.
I said, there's nothing I can do about it.
I said, I don't, I'm trying not to be.
I don't want to be.
But it's like having a shirt on.
It's like just, I'm in this shirt.
I have to have this shirt on today.
And I'm going to do my best in this shirt, but there's no, I can't fucking change this.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It's like you're in something and you know you're in it.
Yeah.
It's, it's really, you're a prisoner to your emotions.
And it's so frustrating because.
Fuck, man, I feel like I feel like such pussies that we're talking about this, but it's real.
It's so the realest shit for me.
So, I mean, it's everything.
It's everything.
It defines your whole, how you experience everything.
And it's so frustrating knowing that inside of you is this how you want to be, how you wish you were.
And you know that you've been there and you want to feel that normality.
And, but you just, you're in prison.
You can't escape.
And so for me, the antidepressants helped.
It did help.
It's not like a, you know, I still have bad days, but for the most part, I feel like, you know, I don't know.
The therapy helped a lot too.
I talked and kind of thought about things that I had never thought about before.
Good therapist?
Yeah, I think so.
Did you try a couple before you went?
I tried one through my health insurance.
It was awful.
Dude, they sent me to a guy who did puppetry work, dude.
I'm like, who the fuck is this dude?
Was his name Jeff Dunham?
Huh?
That would have been wild if you talked to Peanut, his puppet, for therapy, and then jalapeno comes out.
You're like, what is this?
I'm like, why is it?
Yeah, $200 an hour.
You would think it should be fucking Jeff Dunham.
Yeah, right?
Dude, my therapist was $4.50 an hour.
No way.
I was like, man, I didn't even know.
Like, he's good, but he doesn't give me a return or anything.
$4.50 an hour, dude.
He should be cooking food.
He shouldn't be making an entire dinner food while he does therapy.
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This is your time.
We got a question right here from a beautiful young Filipino.
Oh, we never answered the first one.
Huh?
Yeah, but he knows we care.
I can answer it now.
Can we hop back to it?
Because this one's kind of related to what you're doing.
I remember the question was, what did you plan when you started YouTube?
Did you want to get famous?
Did you want to get rich?
No.
What I planned, I'll tell you, I remember the exact moment.
I knew I wanted to do comedy.
I knew I wanted to be an entertainer.
I never thought that I could ever be on screen because it's like when you don't have connections and I didn't ever really want to be a stand-up comedian.
I knew that wasn't my path just because I don't know.
But you were brave.
You were brave in some comedic way.
You knew that about yourself because you did like vape.
You know, I was watching Vape Nation the other day.
Yeah, that.
And you did, you know, you were, that's kind of a brave, strange thing.
Yeah, I mean, those videos were really hard to make.
It's intense going on the street and doing that.
But in the very beginning, I thought I'd be a writer or something.
But at any rate, I remember I was watching Jimmy Kimmel of all people, and he says, you know, these days with YouTube, if you're funny and you work hard enough and you're talented, you know, back in the day, you had to know somebody, you had to be connected.
But these days, if you're funny and you just put yourself out there on YouTube, eventually something's going to happen for you.
There's something to the essence of that.
And so I was like, you know, that's true.
Like, I'm sitting around trying to find someone to give me an opportunity or something, you know.
I was working a day job.
I was full-time doing some marketing bullshit.
So I started on the weekends just making goofy YouTube videos, just not with any expectation at all, just to get my chops, to find my voice, to figure out what I liked and who I was comedically.
And I did that for like two years.
We collected a small following of people, which I was so, I mean, I was so blessed.
There was like, in the beginning days, there was like, I had a very loyal, small group of people that found me somehow.
Oh, yeah, it was like the book of Eli back then.
Have you seen that movie?
No.
Kind of similar.
What's the one when Will Smith finds his dog or whatever?
I am Legend.
He has like I am Legend.
I did see that, but I don't get the movie.
Early YouTube, I mean.
Because there's only one person.
You were the only person there.
There's like people wandering around just trying to find their group.
It's like just a few people.
I see.
Well, I was trying to think of it.
It takes another antidepressant.
Put them up.
You still put them up your butt?
Huh?
No, no, no, no.
That was college, bro.
that's good.
Jesus, dude.
You should take them by the mouth, I think.
Oh, I take them by the mouth, yeah, man.
But don't you get left with a bunch of powder in your ass, or does it just soak it all up?
No, dude.
This is back when I had a pretty fucking designer asshole.
When you're young, your asshole's a fucking sweet, tight little bastion.
It's a fucking, yeah, it's like just like a new alternative.
It's the fountain of youth.
Oh, yeah, bro.
And now your asshole's seen some mileage?
No, it's just, you know, it's more of a, you know, it's just had, it probably feels like, it seems like it's just had, I don't know, mileage is the term.
It's just, you know, the city, I don't know if the city's always taking great care of it.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's fair enough.
You ever take a shit, like a big ass shit, it feels so good.
Coming out, it's a very pleasant experience.
And you look, and it's like a big ass shit, like, and you're like, damn, I kind of get why dudes like getting fucked in the ass.
Nope.
But.
Because it's like, damn, like, if it can feel that, like a shit that big just came out of my ass.
And I didn't even mind it one bit.
You know what I mean?
I won't take really big shits.
I wait till they feel a little bit smaller and then I take them.
Well, if you, oh, but I don't have control over that.
I don't wait.
It just happens when it happens.
Well, you can wait.
I mean, it's in your body.
You can feel it.
No, for me, it's like now or never.
Or it's like now.
It's not never.
When I need a shit, I need a shit.
There's no holding back.
Damn, you're like the fucking, this is like the fast and the furious.
I got that Jewish bowel.
Oh, Jewish bowels.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have Jewish bowel syndrome.
Oh, dude.
Yeah, my Jewish buddies, you give them half a teaspoon of fucking sour cream even though you won't see them for a month.
Yeah, that's right.
That's true.
Yeah, we call that Jewish bowel syndrome.
Dude, really?
No, I just made that up.
That should be a thing.
Bro, it's so crazy.
My Jewish buddies, smartest, most capable humans, dude.
Well, you know what?
Half of a fucking cracker that doesn't agree with them.
You know, you didn't even need the Holocaust.
He could have just distributed sour cream to the population.
That's the final solution.
You know why?
Because we're all inbred.
Yeah, we're just inbred as fuck.
So I guess that does something.
But we all have mental disorder.
I have like Tourette's syndrome.
You know, I'm a fucking mess.
We had a question that came in about that.
Let's get right to that.
We didn't have a question about the Tourettes, but we...
We had a guest.
Nick and I work for different.
All right, cool.
We had a guest named.
Oh, yeah.
We had a guest that came in named Nick.
Mark.
Mark.
Mark Elliott, he would give TED Talks because he cured his Tourette's through the...
What was he in?
That sex cult that Keith Ranieri got in.
That's a little weird.
In Vixen, remember that Invixi?
He was in that?
He was kind of like in one of the Well, I'm not surprised because that's definitely not possible.
There's a lot of different things that are like Tourette's, but Tourette's is a neurological.
Well, let's see.
This is what he's got.
Oh, wait.
Is this the guy you interviewed?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I can't diagnose him if that's what you're asking.
You can try, though, man.
It's YouTube, man.
Yeah, you can.
There was 15 kids in the class.
There's so many different tick disorders.
There's a new neurological disease I just heard about on the news that kind of manifests itself like Tourette's.
I mean, I couldn't possibly diagnose the guy.
For me, it's a heretical condition.
My uncle has it.
It's passed down from my family.
When you see your uncle, do you guys have a different type of, is there like a sixth sense almost?
Well, his is worse than mine, so it's kind of, it's really easy to spot.
But when you see him, is there like, here's what I'm saying.
Like, if I had wings on my back, right?
And I saw somebody else with wings on their back, I would be like, oh, you know, is there camaraderie between?
What?
Because I'll tell you, in my experience, it was a very personal experience that I never met anyone else that had Tourette's growing up.
I never knew anyone else.
So for me, it was a very personal.
So you're the only one?
Yeah, that I ever knew.
And it's a very personal experience in battle, the way I felt it.
I didn't, I preferred not to talk about it because I feel like even being aware of it made it worse.
So like when my parents try to talk to me about it, I would just tell them, you know, I would get upset.
I would say, just don't bring it up to me because I don't want to.
I felt like the less I was aware of it, the less it bothered me.
If you didn't make it a big thing.
These days it doesn't bother me so much, but as a kid, it's a lot to work out in your head.
And it was worse when I was a kid, too.
So I think I was very lucky, though.
I was very fortunate to have friends who were very cool and understanding and not judgmental about it because I can see that that could really fuck you up growing up.
But I mean, I was so fortunate to have friends that were very generous with their compassion.
Yeah, that's huge because imagine you have that and people are just giving you a hard time.
Yeah, you look weird as fuck.
It's hard to control it.
And what kinds did you have?
What kind of, because sometimes you get, we had a guy that was always kind of playing freeze tag with himself, it seemed like we had a guy, we had a blind guy, that's not Tourette's, we had a guy, what else did we have, dude?
We had a guy, we had a dude who was, he would always ride this bicycle that had a baby seat.
Remember the baby seat?
You would sit behind your mom on the seat?
And those used to be dope.
Now these kids ride in like a fucking big covered wagon or something like they're in fucking England or something, you know?
But we used to ride it with just a seat with like a shitty fucking seatbelt.
And you would just sit in there and fucking bounce behind mom.
We had a dude in our town that was like, he had some type of something.
And he would just drive one of those all the time, but no baby in the back.
And people always thought that something had happened.
He'd lost his family or something.
What was yours like?
I just had...
So when I was a kid, it was...
I feel like with Tourette, you can pass around your ticks.
So like, for example, I had one where I opened my eyes real wide.
And that, you do, you just, you don't want to draw attention to yourself, right?
That's what you avoid.
Okay, so you have one where having something but trying to hide it inside of yourself?
Yeah, like I have one where I roll my eyes so I would, I would like cover my eyes so people didn't notice.
Or I have one where I shake my head.
that one really bothered me.
It gave me headaches all the time.
So, what I found you can do is if you resist the urge, your body will manifest new ticks in different ways.
So, I would like fight off this urge to shake my head because it drew attention to myself and I don't like that.
And now instead, I wiggle my toes.
Oh, wow.
So, you can't see that.
You don't know I'm wiggling my toes, shit like that.
So, you can redirect, I found personally that I can redirect the tick energy.
So, it's an energy that's trying to escape you.
The best way I can describe it is like you, it's not like I don't have control over it.
I cannot do it, but it's like having an itch.
It's like having an itch.
So it's like, you know, it's awful.
It's a horrible feeling not scratching an itch.
It drives you crazy.
That's even what Mark even said.
I remember him saying something like that.
That Mark Elliott said.
It was like having an itch and you have to scratch it and you have to do something to scratch it.
And sometimes you don't.
Yeah, just.
That's the best way I can describe it.
I don't know what he's got, as far as I'm aware that, you know, Tourette's is not, it's not a curable.
Yeah, he thanked the Nixium cult, whatever their organization, their process was for getting rid of forearms.
I should look into that.
He had more vocal ticks.
Did you ever have vocal ticks?
Tourette's is characterized by vocal ticks.
So mine was clearing my throat.
Like, I do that.
I still do that.
Sorry, I'm such an asshole.
No, it's cool, I think.
Oh, I thought I muted it.
That's the difference between tick syndrome and Tourette's syndrome.
Tourette's is characterized by vocal ticks.
Was there any fun ones you would get sometimes?
No, there's no fun one.
They're all annoying.
they're all annoying it's just a matter of like being able to It doesn't necessarily bother me that I have to wiggle my toes.
But I have like, you know, I have like sleep paralysis where you wake up or you're in a semi-conscious state.
You know what sleep paralysis is.
Oh, yeah.
I love it.
That's sarcastic?
No, I love sleep paralysis.
When you get that thing where you're like off.
You mean like waking.
Every time I go to sleep, I pray for that, dude.
I love that shit.
Really?
Yeah, sometimes it's the most important thing.
You mean I wake up all month?
Can you expand on that?
Yeah, like sometimes, yeah, like you wake up and, but you're not really awake and you can't move, but you're like alive, you know?
I mean, that sounds awful the way you describe it.
I love it, man.
Really?
Yeah, because sleeping gets so boring to me.
Sometimes sleeping gets a lot more time.
Most people find it terrifying.
It's like, oh, I'm just going to lay here for seven hours, you know?
I like sleeping.
Sleeping rules, dude.
Yeah, look, I've thought it ruled for some time, and then recently probably bored.
Yeah, Patty.
It is a waste of time, technically speaking.
Yeah, I just feel like in the future, they're going to be like, can you believe that when our great-grandparents were tired, they fucking went and laid somewhere for eight hours?
That'd be amazing if we could eliminate that.
Think of how psychotic it seems, really.
Yeah.
To think that, man, oh, things weren't going well.
She went and laid down in a specific place.
She closed your eyes for eight hours.
Eight hours?
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
That sounds like fucking autism, bro.
This lady has a question right here.
Hey, Ethan.
Have you gotten a hit of that nursing Ila tit?
If not, have you thought about it?
I like how gang gang.
I like how excited she was by that.
She kind of lowered her voice and changed her mannerisms.
She looks nice, man.
She has two tits, too.
See that?
Have you had...
Did you try any of the rest milk?
The thing is that Ela wasn't, I probably would have, but Ila wasn't, she was having trouble lactating.
Okay.
So we've feeding him.
He was actually like starving to death during the first two weeks, and it was awful.
We didn't know why he wasn't getting enough food because Ela's.
Oh, she's nursing, but he's not getting enough food.
Yeah, she wasn't really producing.
And so I would have totally sucked milk out of her titties.
I mean, I've tried many times before.
Really?
Even before she was pregnant.
That's fucking pretty cool, man.
No, I would try it.
Look, dude, you're serious?
Yeah.
Everybody's had a sip of different things that come out of their body.
You know, everybody's, you know, I'm no fucking, you know, even Emerald Lagasse, he does like that.
Oh, yeah.
Little bam.
Bam.
Yeah, a little bam.
Yeah, I would have tried it.
You know, I've heard good things.
How has, I know last time you and I were talking on your podcast, man, which was really fun, dude.
I'm so appreciate it that you guys have me on.
I've gotten such a nice response over the years from people.
I wanted to hear from people that I'd love to come back.
Okay, good.
Soon.
We were talking.
We're in the same building.
We could go up there right now.
Nope.
We're going to stay down here right now.
But how about this?
I'll come back after, I would say probably after the first of the year, I'll come back.
Love it.
Yeah.
Let's get the books.
And thank you.
But yeah, we were talking about parenting and fatherhood and stuff like that.
Has your relationship with your dad changed since you have had a child?
Has it been, have you had even moments to reflect?
I just don't think it works that way.
You can change yourself.
You can inform yourself and hopefully improve your relationship with your own son.
But I just don't think that things change like that.
Unfortunately, it's not like it's not like I don't know what to say.
No, not really.
Not with my dad.
Yeah.
I mean, I have a fine relationship with my dad.
You know, we all.
Yeah, I'm not throwing him under the bus or anything.
No, I do all the time.
He gets angry at me because he listens.
Oh, yeah.
My mom started listening.
Yeah, which is sweet in a way, but it's like...
But it's like, you got to just buckle up if you're going to listen because I'm just going to talk about everything.
Yeah.
You're going to hear things you don't want to hear from, you know, how I wipe my ass.
Yeah.
You know, I recently started using a bidet and I had a lot of success with that.
Wow, really?
To sucking on, you know, trying to suck milk out of my wife Teddy's and even to saying, you know, hey, I don't think you did that good a job as a father.
Yeah.
So they got to be prepared for all that.
But I don't think it's prepared.
I don't think it's improved my relationship with my dad at all.
I think mostly it's just, I learned a lot about my relationship with my dad through therapy.
And that kind of stuff was very good, I think, with preparing me to be a father.
Are you digging it?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, of course.
You know, he's five months old.
But it's just there's a lot of stuff.
There's a lot of great stuff.
And there's a lot of people prepare you for I think people oversell it in this way.
They say, first of all, people go, um, when my child was born is the best day of my life.
That day sucks.
That's like fucking such an awful day.
You don't sleep.
Your wife is going under this incredible dangerous procedure.
She's in incredible pain.
Then you have this crying little goblin that you've, you have no, like in my, I mean, I'm a first-time father, so you don't know what you're doing.
This baby is, it can't even lift its fucking neck up, bro.
I hate that kind of shit.
We had a guy like that on our basketball team when I was young.
Like you don't hold his neck up and he breaks his fucking head.
His head falls on the floor.
You're like, oh, shit.
And so stressed out.
They're going to lift him up to do a layup in the middle of the game.
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a very, that sounds like a dysfunctional basketball team.
Yeah, this is bad.
But no, so that day is horrible.
That day gets.
It's such an awful day.
It's so, you know, and it is beautiful when the baby comes out.
But at the same time, there's a ton of people there.
It's kind of confusing because you don't know what to do.
You know, my Ela's on the Ela's on the table.
She's getting sewn up because her asshole tore into her vagina.
You know, that happens pretty commonly.
And he was a big baby and his shoulders just tore her fucking vagina.
And by the way, his shoulders in there.
Well, they're real flexible.
I mean, and the crazy shit, dude, I saw everything, by the way.
You think that, like, oh, dad's just going to sit outside.
I was fucking holding her leg, bro.
I didn't have a choice.
They threw me in there.
John Wayne Casey, bro.
I didn't have a choice, bro.
That's what they instructed me.
They said, dad, come grab her leg.
I'm just like, all right, let's get it.
Let's do it.
You know, I'm here to support my wife.
But it was crazy seeing.
I saw everything.
His head looked like a meatball coming out of it.
Because it was all discolored and lumpy and little hairs.
It looked like a meatball with pubes.
I swear to God.
Bro, the no-joke, this story right here is better than the entire last movie of Halloween that I saw.
You see that last one?
No.
I don't want to.
Really?
It wasn't even scary.
Really?
It was almost like an advertisement for cutcoat knives, dude.
It was the fucking worst horror movie I'd ever seen.
I don't like horror movies.
I skip them all.
Well, then watch that, dude.
It's nothing.
It's basically kind of like a man window shopping for houses.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, this.
I felt safe, but it was intense.
Her shit was...
The placenta, the baby comes out.
You got to sell that.
You can sell that to Joe Rogan, bro.
Bro, they want you to eat that shit.
I'm like, fuck that.
I'm like eating that.
What are you insane?
I'm not a Campbell.
Oh, there's one of these fucking bitches from Montana Boulevard over something, you know, trying to put it in a smoothie for you.
People kept trying to get me to eat it.
I'm like, first of all, wow.
Don't be there.
I'm taking down names of people who told me to eat it so I cannot talk to them anymore.
But you should have seen it, Dave.
Because you cut the umbilical cord and then you got it.
And then you pull the fucking placenta out by the umbilical cord.
So she has like a second birth.
The baby's out getting checked out by the doctors.
And then meanwhile, the nurse is pulling this placenta out and it looks like a liver.
It's just huge organ, bro.
And it's all, you see, it's all bloody and there's all these veins and shit in it, dude.
And they pull it out of that.
It's crazy to see.
Do you ever look at your wife the same?
I mean, it must be.
What?
Yeah.
What, bro?
No way, dude.
Wow, she's better than, she's awesome.
No, I'm not saying she's not a great person, but I'm just saying, dude, if somebody, I genuinely think that it didn't.
It didn't.
No.
I mean, it was fucking crazy, bro.
I saw more than she did.
She didn't see any of that.
And then the nurses are going on and on about like, oh, it's such a beautiful placenta.
It looked like a fucking raw liver, bro.
Got pulled out of her vagina.
That sounds like Antifa, dude.
That sounds fucking way too intense, bro.
And like, and then there's this newborn baby I've never dealt with, and the doctors are all checking him out and shit.
And then he's your response.
It's scary.
It's scary.
And then they put you in the recovery room, and you got to keep this baby alive for two days.
And then they send your ass home, and you got to keep the baby alive there.
Was it scary to leave the hospital?
That would seem scary to me.
Like, what do you think?
I wanted to get out of the hospital.
The hospital was just awful.
I hated being there.
I wanted to get out of there.
But when we got home, the first two months was just agony.
Because, well, I think we had a specifically hard time because he wasn't latching on.
He wasn't feeding.
He was latching on, but he wasn't feeding.
Fuck.
And, you know, breastfeeding is very painful for the female, too.
Is it really?
Yeah.
They say that breastfeeding is oftentimes even worse than the pregnancy.
That's something that people.
I can imagine.
I didn't think about that.
Just sucking hard and munching, munching on the titty.
You know what I mean?
Not just sucking, munching.
Yeah, very animalistic.
Yeah.
And he was just crying.
I mean, it was just crying, crying, crying, crying.
We're like, I don't think he's supposed to cry this much.
You know, he wasn't sleeping.
They're supposed to sleep like 18 hours a day.
He was sleeping like maybe five at most, and he was just crying, crying, crying.
And they're like a cigarette smoker.
It almost sounds like someone, like, they don't sleep that much.
Cigarette smokers.
People don't think about that.
But anyway, I interrupted you.
Oh, is that the elevator?
Oh, you guys have elevator noise.
We didn't think about that.
Can they hear it?
Nope.
That's good.
It's not a big deal.
I think it's kind of sexy.
Yeah.
I saw you guys had a sign.
Please don't use the elevator.
I thought that was fun.
Oh, yeah.
Nickel loves that sign.
Is it up right now?
I think it's not at the moment because there's so much therapy upstairs.
I started to feel bad about it.
Oh, yeah.
So.
Yeah.
Yeah, one day we did.
You could carry a lady in a wheelchair up the stairs out there.
Oh, you should have probably just let her take the elevator.
Sound quality, man.
That's fucking.
Did the baby seem like now, does it seem human at first, or does it seem like an animal or like a pet at first?
And not in any way that you don't love the child.
No, it's a real, it's a little gremlin, bro.
Yeah.
It's a little troll.
Do you love it as much in the beginning as much as you're able to love it now, five or six months?
And that's another thing they don't tell you is that when this – You never met this baby.
You don't know each other.
And so, no, that's the truth.
Your love grows for the child.
And it's not, you don't have an immediate connection.
And that's something that worried me as well.
That I was like, you know, I'm not really connecting with this baby at first.
I mean, that's different now.
Now he's five months old and he's smiling and he's laughing and it's the whole thing.
He's much different.
But at first, especially for the first two months, there's almost no recognition of you at all.
So that's another thing that I think you don't expect that maybe people aren't honest about.
Because everybody, I think in retrospect, like when they're 20 years old or whatever, even five, six years old, it's like you just think you're all, you see all the happy, good times and you look back on that with not just rose colored glasses, but the dark pink.
What's more intense than rose?
Chiffon, maybe?
I don't know.
Chiffon, baby.
Chiffon colored glasses.
Is that something?
It sounds good.
Yeah, thanks.
But, you know, it was tough.
Was there a moment where you kind of started to feel grateful?
Like, okay, wow, I am starting to love.
Yeah.
There was a moment where I realized now he's like five months in a week and he's really been coming into his own for the past month or two.
And there's like this moment every day when he first sees you and he's so happy to see you.
And you know what?
I had this weird realization that you think that your parents are meant to have unconditional love for you.
But what I realized as a parent is that this child has unconditional love for me right now.
And it was like it was very sobering realization that he, it's almost like I feel unworthy of that love.
He's just so happy to see me every time and happy to spend time with me that it's it's it's freaky.
Like it's what it's what he does for me and not the other way around.
And you have to, I feel like I have, and it's not just with me either.
It's with everybody.
Like he's born so pure and loving that as a parent, you need to you need to protect that.
Oh, that's interesting.
You need to because the truth is, I think we're all born that way.
And only through our life experiences do we does that change.
Yeah.
You know, there's a debate that are we born good or not.
And I think once you see a baby, I mean, it's obviously that we are all born good.
Wow.
And it's just through our life experiences that any of that changes.
So, you know, you have a responsibility.
And it's so weird when you realize like that you're going to be the one to affect that.
Well, it's such a profound relationship, the father-son relationship, right?
Let's get this Filipino in.
We got a beautiful Filipino man has a question for us.
Hey, Theo, my name is Rezo.
I'm from North Carolina.
My question is mainly for Ethan.
My question is, when you're battling darkness and depression and dark thoughts yourself, how do you go about having a better, brighter perspective for your child?
When you're dealing with negativity yourself, how do you aim for positivity with your child?
In the nick of time, that's what we call him right now.
Thanks, Nate.
Well, I feel like, first of all, it's more like, how do you deal with it yourself?
You know, it's like you have to get your shit straight for yourself.
Right, before you go.
You can't, if you're feeling that way, you can't help it bleeding through to your kid.
And he's going to see that.
And he's going to learn from that.
He's going to take it.
So do you start to realize, yeah, you're like this weird filter.
Everything, bro.
He watches, he learns, everything, you know, they take it in.
It changed them day by day.
You know what I mean?
Their little DNA, their building blocks are taking everything in, bro.
And it's building a little human being.
And for me, you know, one of the fallacies that I had when I was depressed and anxious and really in the pit of despair, you have this feeling in your head.
You chase yourself in circles and circles and circles.
The truth is you can't talk yourself out of it.
You cannot change it.
You need something to slice through it.
Day by day, you just, you try to convince yourself.
You try to find different ways that you can feel better.
But for me, I found that it's all just, that's all part of it, dude.
That's not escaping it.
That's the trappings of it.
Right.
And for me, it's just, you know, therapy and medicine was what helped me get out of it because you can't, you just can't talk yourself out of it.
Are there moments now I remember having a moment where I felt like for one of the first times I felt good about myself?
Did you have anything like that happen after you got on antidepressants?
And I'm not saying that antidepressants are the cure for these things.
I'm just saying that that moment for me happened when I got into 12-step program that I remember having a day one day.
One moment I was walking and I was like, what is going on?
I said, oh, wow, I feel I feel okay.
Yeah.
I have had, I've certainly had moments of clarity.
And it's almost fucking scary.
Yeah, that's the thing is like before, I used to have good days and then just the awareness that I had a good, having a good moment or a good day made me, ruined my day.
How crazy.
For real, it did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For real.
Like it ruined it.
Bro, I can relate to that so much.
It's unbelievable.
But I think that that's, but I do have moments of clarity where I'm like, I think back to how bad I was.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'm very thankful for that, you know it's a little better.
Yeah Let's get let's throw another question.
I want to talk what do you talk what are you working on in therapy right now?
Like what do you I'm trying to think of I don't go to therapy anymore.
You don't I went for like three months or four months and I feel like I got I made a lot of progress I thought about a lot of stuff and I think there was just a moment well first of all it was super expensive and it was super far from my house so it was kind of a pain in the ass and I think it came to the point where I felt like it was more of a pain in the ass than therapeutic respect.
I had a moment the other day with my therapist yesterday actually I was in there and I didn't like the fact that she kept sometimes she'll just tell me facts and shit and I don't I don't learn really that way.
I learn more from feeling like for me I really need to feel something to especially in therapy I need to have some feelings for it to really be of any value to me I don't care whenever they're talking about like well maybe the reason of this is that it's like I need to have the feeling I need to realize it myself I need to communicate it to myself almost right with your help right and I remember telling her I said you know I don't like when you talk and it was kind of interesting because we started
to get into this space where it's like she's like that's fine you can tell me that sort of thing and this whole time I've had this thing in my head where I'm just like I'm just trying to be nice at the same time is also getting therapy but sometimes you can use your therapist to embody things that you don't like like if they're doing something you know I didn't realize that I didn't realize I can say you know I don't like hearing you talk right now you know yeah I had a moment like that too she's like well why and then I get to start to explain the why and then I get to start to
realize something that's bothering me and I'm actually then dealing with it instead of just like talking to my therapist like right even you can you can even go that's right that's why at therapy you need to be like radically honest yes and radically honest in a way that I didn't even know was being radically honest like yeah I was like you know what I fucking hate it when you start to tell me like well maybe this is you know and I know that shit I fucking know that I know what's going on I just
don't fucking feel good but it was finally like an opportunity when I started to get there I was like oh this is a new space for me to communicate interesting because one of my biggest problems really is communication I don't communicate clearly sometimes in the beginning and then I start to live in these worlds where I did communicate clearly but I never really did communicate are you talking about with friends or lovers I think in all facets so then I start to build these weird resentments and things going on in my head when I just didn't
communicate clearly from the beginning but it's so hard for me to want to communicate clearly I don't know then then I start to realize okay that's where I have like an issue you don't have the energy you don't have the will to to like extra communicate I think I I think I just no one ever really taught it to me so I think I could learn weird ways to communicate even when I probably why I ended up doing stand-up I ended up needing to have this way to communicate with people to just feel like somebody
hears me you know I don't know I think and a lot of it I'm still learning about but it just anyway I just went on that tangent because I I just realized that for myself in therapy that I can also communicate with my therapist about how I feel about them yeah because it's going to help us as a team learn about what's going on and I can even tell them hey don't take this personally I know that I'm I know that I care about you I know that I think you're a nice person but
I'm going to communicate this way to be they like that I mean good ones I can't imagine a therapist getting all like defensive yeah I couldn't either but I always thought that no yeah you don't want to be rude right and you have then you have a weird thing where like you like them and they they they know you more than they know what's going on through your head more than your closest the people closest to you in your life yeah and you you want them to think highly of you yes because they know you so well it's a weird thing you need like a therapist about your therapy
we there needs to be a book on how to go to therapy i agree it's it's because there's so much teaching for the therapist there's no teaching for the therapy for the you know for the therapeutic or whatever the guy comes in here's my dude right here this guy was uh wasn't he the quarterback from um that tv show sugar hill gang or something where's the guy with the guy in wheelchair market 8 the guy who got in the wheelchair and they went to the city championship that's him with the with
the black guy that played superman i haven't seen him on the black dude who played superman there was a black superman friday night lights oh i thought it was called market 8 market 8 dude that's what they always said what is this guy you know i'm talking about philip allen or something quarterback i read the book one time oh jesus christ dude sorry what's up my question is for ethan um my wife and i are massive fans of h3 and the podcast and everything and the whole channel um have been for a long time my question is as a husband
and now a new father what does it feel like responsibility wise to put your family out there for the internet and how has that impacted you of recent now thanks well in certain ways it sucks because we get swatted and there's a lot of people that wish us ill will and uh we moved recently because we didn't feel safe at our last house where people were calling the police and saying like people calling the police and saying there's bodies everywhere there's bombs everywhere uh there's hostages
and the swat teams would pull up to our house and helicopters and they would come with their guns drawn and i felt serious yes and i felt very unsafe i felt very unsafe about it and so we moved to a new house in a gated community which is nice i feel better there but um it sucks being a public figure in that regard because there's always a little bit of uncertainty because there's just so many crazy fucking people out there and there's i don't know there's people that dislike me
on the internet for one reason or the other and um i wish i could erase that you know i didn't know if i would like you probably when i met you man but i realized i really did like you you know i wonder what that is though i wonder i mean and i don't mean that in any bad way i mean it almost in a way to explore you know like um I guess I just thought we might be so different, you know.
But then I realized that's true.
Yeah.
And I was kind of like, oh, we're really not very, very different.
I know, I don't know why, but I had a feeling like I was friends with a lot of your contemporaries, the comedians.
And I knew I wanted to meet you, but I don't know why.
Like when I saw you at the comedy club, I really wanted to meet you, and I'm glad that you said hello.
Yeah.
That was cool.
Yeah, man.
But I don't know why.
I don't know what it was.
But your set was amazing.
Funny days.
I appreciate that, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's been a fun.
That job's been fun.
It's been good to me.
But what is it that you think you wouldn't like about me?
No, I don't know.
I think I feel like I don't know.
Sometimes I feel like certain people just judge, would just judge me for some reason, you know?
But then I realize that, I don't know.
Let me think about it.
I am judgmental.
I'm kind of known for that.
Well, I think it's also probably because I'm judgmental.
And so then I always – Right.
So I know that.
So then my biggest fear is always that other people are going to be.
You know what's funny?
I always think this to myself.
If I met myself, I think I wouldn't like myself.
Maybe that's less true now.
But back when I was really in a dark place, I used to be sure that if I was outside myself in Memphis, I would fucking hate myself.
Yeah.
Sometimes I felt like that earlier this year.
I hit a bad spot this year for a couple months.
And it's still been, this whole year has been really tough for me, but I hit a bad spot earlier this year where I was fucking just a nightmare.
And I hated it.
It was the same thing like, you know, sometimes it just flares up and it's just like, I don't know.
I have some anger and it just won't.
I just can't get.
I almost want a fucking exorcism or something, you know?
I wish it was that easy.
Crazy.
I wish I was fucking possessed.
Yeah.
At least I could explain it.
You know?
Dude, think about back in the old days.
If you're being an asshole, you're like, oh, sorry.
Just ghosts in me.
Yeah.
Caught a bad demon on the stagecoach.
Man, they just take a little blood, call it a day.
Oh, let's get a question right here.
And this guy, right here, definitely.
Conor McGregor, I think.
Yep.
What's happening, guys?
This is Shane here in Australia.
I got you in Sydney, Theo.
At the Enmore show that you did, that was great.
This question is aimed more at Ethan, however, who might recognize me from this tattoo, which is not consistent with us.
I know that the Dayton Age video is probably a crowd favorite, but I was just wondering what is your own favorite video that you've made on the old H3H3 channel.
Thank you.
Gang Pop Bless.
Oh, he's got all the slogans.
Gang, bruh.
Gang Bless.
Yeah, Gang Bless, bruh.
That's our new podcast.
I love that.
I've seen that tattoo so many times.
It's Rick and Morty, Rick Sanchez doing Vape Nation.
I just met with.
I met with a different studio.
Bento Box.
I met with some of those guys.
But let's focus on this guy, man.
Thank you for coming out to the show there.
My favorite vid.
Well, Vape Nation's such.
I think Fate Nation is definitely one of my faves.
That thing was like such a...
Wow.
I had an outfit and a vape and a dream.
And the gods were gracious because I had all these incredible interactions.
We went to the vape star and the guys were amazing.
We were walking down the street and the news was live, which is something that I had never seen.
The news was fucking live and we were vaping and the engaged.
It's crazy.
I mean, everything was going on.
We were in Central Park and I was yelling at the police and they interacted with me.
We went down to Central Park and a cop let me sit in his fucking car and vape.
I mean it was all just the vape gods were on my side, dude, you know?
Everything was beautiful about that video.
But another one I'd say, another favorite, I don't know, I did this video called 90s Boy Band where I was making fun of these frosted tip, deep tanned boy bands.
Oh, yeah.
And we just went on a whole adventure through New York City where I got this fake tan and frosted my tips.
And I was on the subway applying tan.
It stinks so bad, by the way.
That tan, yeah, you can get some that has smells a little not as bad, but.
I was amazed by how foul it was smelling.
And in a petting zoo, you know, if you wear too much bronzer, they won't let you in certain petting zoos, too.
Why is that?
It just, the animals have a bad reaction to it.
They stop you?
And do they have like a pantone?
They check your tan levels.
Man, I wouldn't have been allowed in there for sure.
Yeah.
But that was fun.
That was a really fun video.
Yeah.
But Vabe Nash, I mean, even for myself, it's like.
It is.
It's beyond me.
But dude, I had a moment where you were talking about that.
It's interesting how sometimes with creativity, if you just take the, like you said, you had your girl or you, you know, who was your partner in crime, you had a camera, you had a little bit of an idea, and then you went.
And sometimes that's so much better than all the planets in the world.
It is.
And sometimes, and most of the times it's way worse.
That's the problem.
That's the problem I ran into is because I kept trying to re-bottle that lightning.
And it was always okay, but ultimately it's just, it's tricky because sometimes it's way better, but most of the time it's worse.
So it gets frustrated.
The process gets frustrating.
And ultimately, I think you learned that you need to be more structured.
You need more structure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it's interesting because sometimes it's like if something doesn't happen for the first time, if it's not exactly new, which is one of the reasons why I think I like laughter is because it's such a, you didn't know it was coming and it's going to be gone.
And it's just, there's no denying that it's.
You can't hide the emotion.
Right.
You can't hide the emotion.
There's no denying that it occurred and that it was a.
It's almost like the Big Bang theory of communication.
You know, it's like, you know, the first thing my son learned to do was laugh and smile.
Isn't that a trip?
It's crazy, huh?
That's the first thing they learn to communicate is laughter.
It's like the most deepest, the deepest, most primal feeling we have, a communicating feeling we have is like laughter.
Well, obviously he cries first, lots of crying, but ultimately.
You weren't feeding him.
Yeah.
But ultimately, beyond that, it's laughter.
His feeding window was closed.
Yeah, his feeding window is closed when it needed to be open big time.
His feeding window is always open, man.
He gained a lot of weight, though.
Now he's a little Fuppuccino.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, he's fat.
I mean, he's chunky in a good way.
There's something beautiful about right around six months when kids, you can still kind of hold them and they'll be really kind of chill sometimes, but they're just getting so alive that it's like, man, there's something real beautiful about that age.
Did I answer a question?
John Stainless has a question here, too.
Did we answer that other question?
Yeah, it was about your favorite video.
And good day, brother.
I'm trying to get over there to Australia, maybe with another comedian.
We're trying to partner up and package and come back over there.
Nice.
And this is John Stainless's son.
Ethan, man, just wanted to know if you ever plan on making any more videos on your main channel or if you're just focused on the podcast now.
Because we missed the main channel videos too.
So anyway, gang, gang.
Papa bless.
I appreciate that.
This is a blessed, dude.
That's going to be the new show.
Gang bless, bro.
Yeah.
Gang bless.
That was a recurring question.
We probably had that about 10 times.
Yeah.
It's a tough one to answer.
You know, the truth is, by the way, it's nice that everyone likes me.
I have a feeling that most people hate me.
Really?
I do.
And I'm so refreshed when people are nice to me and care about me.
You know what reminds me that I think you're a neat person is that you are your ability to that I just feel you're transparent.
Your transparency reminds me.
It's just such a nice quality I feel like you have.
Oh, thank you.
That I think it's just like, oh, immediately I know at least I'm going to be able to be very real with this person.
And there's something that's very comfortable about that, I think, for people because we don't get that very much.
I think for me, I found it like, I just think it's real healthy.
You don't want to like that, that could make you, I mean, that makes me feel real bad at one point.
It's like, oh, I'm assuming that everyone out there hates me.
But at the same time, it's nice to be able to say that.
You know, it alleviates the pressure.
To be able to say what?
That I think everyone hates me.
Something like that.
Right.
You know, instead of holding that on, it feels real serious if you hold on to something like that.
Yeah, yeah, to get it out.
That's a good point.
Yeah, so many things we don't realize that we have to get it out, though.
You got to get it out.
I try to get as much out as I can.
Yeah, even little things, little resentments we have against people, that shit fucking hides into an episode of Dateline.
Yeah, absolutely.
When did Dateline turn into just, was it always just murders and shit?
Well, the two most watched shows in the entire world, Joe Rogan, Dateline.
Is Dateline that popular?
Oh, I believe that there's...
I've tried watching Dateline a couple of times, but it kind of just feels like a poor man's Netflix series.
Yeah, definitely.
You know what I mean?
I was raised on it.
Bro, my mother, the first show we watched together was America's Most Wanted.
That show was badass.
She made me hold her hand when the parts got scary, and I was so fucking scared.
Oh, shit.
How old were you?
You need to come for me.
Seven, maybe.
Dude, that show was badass when I was a kid, though.
That was real shit.
They were catching criminals.
Fuck yeah.
That was scary as fuck.
Those guys scared the shit out of me, all those criminals.
Man, my main channel, here's the thing.
I feel like I'm in a new phase of my life.
I feel like at a certain point, those videos were exciting.
They were fun.
They were great to do.
It was fulfilling me in every way.
But I feel like not just on YouTube but in myself personally that those videos don't – they don't fulfill me anymore.
I find them to be – I have to pull my own teeth to get the work done.
And although I know people like it, and frankly, I like it too.
The final product is always fun to look at.
I just find that maybe that part of my life is behind me.
That being said, I still have a studio in my house that's ready to go if I ever feel the need to make one of those videos, which I like.
And it could happen.
Yeah, I like the idea of just making one off when I'm real inspired to do it.
When something comes up, then I'm like, I need to make a video about that.
But I just feel like, you know, I've been doing that for a long time, man.
And I think it's time to just open a new chapter and just be there.
Because a lot of times I've been doing the podcast for a while now.
And I feel like just now recently, since Theodore was born, that I really feel like I'm doing the podcast.
Right.
You know, I was doing it, but now I'm really doing it.
Yeah.
And I like that.
I like that it's a new challenge.
I like that it's testing new skills.
I like that I'm working with other people, that it's collaborative, where if I'm making a video, it's all on my shoulders.
And I feel like I had a lot of resentment and frustration from that.
You know, it's like, oh, it's all my fucking job.
Like, nobody can help me do this.
I like collaborating with people.
You do?
And in the case of the podcast, at first it was very difficult for me, but I found that it's been fantastic.
Like we have three cast members that are back there, and they've become a big part of the show.
And I think that it's, I think it's great.
I think it's a really fun dynamic.
It's fun.
It's exciting.
It's a new experience.
It's testing new skills in myself.
And I think I'm following that feeling that there's something else out there for me to do now.
Yeah, it's interesting, man, hearing you say that.
It makes me think like so many times we often, so many times it's hard to move on.
It's hard to like I'm really I'm really struggling recently.
I don't want to grow up.
I just don't want to.
It's like it's what does growing up mean to you?
I think it means like just like letting go of your freedom, letting go of.
I think I've always revolved in such this kid space in myself that I don't really know how I am as an adult.
And that's very scary to me.
Like I'm good.
I do well as a kid.
Like I was a kid.
It wasn't the most fun a lot of times, but I fucking did a good job of it.
Do you have like positive adult role models in your life?
Ooh, I don't know.
I mean, I have Brendan from King and the Sting, but so probably not really.
He's not, I mean, he's your dad.
But he's your contemporary.
Yeah, he's a man.
As a kid, looking up to an adult, did you have any positive adult role models?
No, probably not, dude.
Me neither.
And I think that I went through the same thing is that I think a lot of the anxiety and pressure I was feeling too was kind of a, in a sense, not wanting to grow up.
And I think the problem is that you never saw an adult who was content and happy.
And you thought, hey, that's cool.
That's a good thing.
That's something I want to be.
That's something I want to do is aging gracefully and becoming more mature and paying fucking bills and having a kid.
And you know what I mean?
All the things that, but for me, that was all scary shit that I associated with negative things.
But it's, you know.
But yeah, I think at some point, yeah, what you're saying is that, yeah, getting to a place and then embracing it instead of living on both sides of the fence.
You can't, you know, it's inevitable, right?
So, right.
Yeah, and also, though, I think some of it is too.
It's like, it's fun to like still be young while I can, you know, young enough.
You can, and you can.
And some things I can't do.
Like, I can't, you know, you can't date some of these young girls.
You have to go out and pretend like you never fucking heard of some movies.
Like, you can't even mention any movies you like because they never heard of them.
And it's so fucking scary, dude.
Interesting.
You mean like old movies or new?
What do you mean?
Old movies.
Yeah.
You might feel old.
Oh, that even when I'm in a conversation, if there's like a young, you know, like not a young girl, but I mean a young girl.
I know what you mean.
Yeah.
I know what you mean.
You're like, fuck, dude.
I am an adult now.
Yeah.
It's happening and I need to get on board with it.
How old are you?
I'm 39, man.
I'm an adult.
You look youthful.
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah, you look youthful.
Thanks, man.
You look younger than the last time I saw you.
Maybe it's the haircut or maybe it's the pills, you know, but you definitely look younger.
I don't know what I always look older than I am.
Really?
People assume I'm like 50. Which is, I don't know if that's good or bad, but.
I think for you, it's kind of funny.
I'm going to live till I'm 100, but I'll die when I'm 60. You know what I mean?
Yeah, you're like in a weird type of dog gear.
People think I'm like some weird lecher on Ila, like I'm some dude who dates outside his age by like a decade.
But I'm like, nah, dude, we're two years apart.
But what are we talking?
I think I agree.
It's hard to move on.
And I think that maybe one of my strengths maybe is just knowing when it's time to move on.
Certain points in my life where I've just, you know, it's tough.
And especially the fans are resistant too.
And they make you question your own decision to move on.
But ultimately, you know, ultimately, you'll know before they will.
And so it's tough on you.
It's tough on them.
And it's tough on you because they don't want you to move on.
But you know for yourself you have to move on.
And they, and, you know, they don't know that.
They don't know what you feel.
They just want more of the same.
But the truth is, these people will get tired of the same shit too.
And then they'll eventually leave.
And you're just stuck in a rut doing the same stupid fucking song of dance you've been doing for a decade.
And nobody's happy anymore.
You, most importantly, aren't.
And the fans don't care.
They say, oh, he's fucking stale.
Right.
Yeah, there's, you have to, yeah, there's a, there's a gracious time to evolve.
Right.
You know, like a worm is only a worm, you know, and finally like, fuck y'all.
And people are like, oh, this fucking war.
You're going to quit being a worm, dude.
You're out of your mind.
This is the best fucking gig in terms of fucking earth.
It's moist out here.
It's moist as fuck, dude.
There's a rain coming tomorrow.
And he's like, oh, yeah, fuck y'all, bro.
And then he flies by.
You got to leave when it's good.
Yeah.
You got to leave when it's good.
Let's leave into one more question that's come in.
What do we got, Nick, from Frank Castillo?
It looked like something came in.
What up, Theo?
What up, Ethan?
This is Preston coming to you from Frankfurt, Kentucky.
I got a quick question for the Vape Nation God over there.
You know, so far, how many months into it?
But you're a few months into being a dad.
What do you think has been the most rewarding part about being a dad?
And what do you look forward to the most as a little Fupa Jr. gets older and starts Fupaing around, man?
Yeah, baby.
Let me know what y'all think.
Can't wait to hear from y'all.
Love both of y'all, man.
Y'all make the week so much smoother.
So let me know what y'all think, man.
Get the gang in.
Vape nice, y'all.
Yeah, baby.
I love the y'alls.
He's dropping y'alls like molasses.
From Frankfurt, Kentucky, man.
Thank you.
Spencer was his name, I think.
Yeah.
Thank you, dude.
Spicer, maybe?
Preston.
Another.
Preston, sorry.
Preston.
Preston, the other Spencer.
And first of all, she never would have guessed he was a Preston.
Would you have?
Probably not.
He's more like a...
Look at him.
There he is right there.
Beautiful young fellow.
He's got hair on his face, on the bottom of his face, beard.
I don't know what his name is on him.
Romel.
I could see him as a Romel.
Romel?
I could see him as a karate instructor.
I'm with you.
But thank you very much, Preston.
Another person who apparently likes me, so that's nice.
Did you get any that hated me?
No, there were a ton that loved you.
so many inside jokes, people that they weren't really questions.
Yeah.
But people were huge fans.
We probably got over 100 questions.
Wow, that's nice.
Thank you to everyone who did that.
I appreciate that.
The best thing about having Theodore right now is he's just got this beautiful smile.
when he's just expressing joy, it's a beautiful thing.
I can't wait to talk to him.
I can't wait for him to be able to sit up on his own, to walk.
I can't wait to communicate with him.
That's so exciting to me to be able to know what he's thinking and what's going on in there because he's a little person who's marinating inside of there.
And I can't wait to know who he is.
It's like a piñata almost, kind of.
Right.
I don't hit him with the stick.
There's not candies inside.
I don't want to kill him.
No.
Never mind.
It's not like a piñata.
But in other ways, he is.
I do want to hang him from a tree.
No, I don't want to do that.
I'm not sure in what ways he's like a piñata.
Yeah, I don't know.
He's colorful.
Color sweet inside.
Yeah, there he is.
There you go.
Nick of time right there.
I can't wait to do stuff.
Because right now he's still very young.
Yeah, he can't do anything.
He's very young.
He can't fucking walk.
He can't really tell you that much.
No, but I'm excited to take him places, do stuff.
It's going to be fun, you know?
Tell him about life.
Tell him dadship.
Teach him about pussy, probably, or something.
Or Wiener.
In the future, who knows what they'll want?
Yeah.
That talk, I hope, it doesn't come for a while.
I'm not looking forward to talking to him about pussy.
Yeah.
But that day will come, I'm sure.
Well, you want to give him the talk right now?
You and I can give it to him together?
This is your dad from the past?
Yeah.
Well, Theodore...
Theodore, there'll be a time where, uh...
There'll be a time where you'll have to explain to your partner why your penis is so small.
And just know that's my fault.
The micropenis is my fault, son.
But also let them know that it doesn't really...
Right, that doesn't count.
You've got to fist someone to count for that.
You got to go elbow deep to lose your virginity.
You're talking about noodling, bro.
Yeah.
That'll be an Olympic sport by then.
Nick, anything else pertinent that you wanted to hit?
I was a little curious if you're worried about him growing up, like with the, how much you know about the internet and then as he gets older, like discovering stuff on his own?
About me or just on the internet?
No, just on the internet.
Dude, the internet's fucking terrifying.
I don't know how these young kids, because me and you, we grew up, the first time I saw a smartphone, I was in college.
Yeah.
The first time I saw, yeah, a smartphone, definitely.
First time I had a cell phone, I was at 20. And so, and, you know, I am.
I'm scared.
I seen like, actually, Bo Burnham made a great, this great video about it, or movie about it, eighth grade.
I never thought about how these kids grow up with Instagram and all these social medias and these little fucking kids with goddamn smartphones in like, you know, middle school.
And it's, yeah, it's scary.
It terrifies me.
I don't, I just, I never grew up with that.
So I almost don't know how to relate to that, that kind of social pressure.
I know that like the social pressures you feel just as a, as a, as a pre-pubescent or in high school or middle school is, is, you know, already stressful.
But the added stress of like interacting with people on Instagram and do people like my posts?
Do people like me?
People are like trashing on people on Instagram.
There's like bowling on Instagram and there's all these clicks, like cyber clicks and shit.
I mean, it's scary.
I hope that I can, you know, give him guidance through that because I'm not sure what it's like to grow up like that.
I think keeping him human, you know, try and keep him in human spaces, you know, where he's having real feelings and things that are, you know, actual emotions and stuff and not just reactions.
I think a lot of these kids are just more reactive, it seems like, the way that they live kind of with electronics.
But yeah, I don't know.
Like, my niece thought imagination was an app and that really sucked.
Oh, crazy.
What was the context of that?
Just like, I was like, you know, your imagination.
He's like, what do you mean?
I was like, you use your imagination.
Really?
He's like, I don't think we have it.
I'll check my mom's phone.
And I was like, all right, well, we're all going to be in hell.
Yeah.
But that, you know, that's not far off.
It's terrifying.
And I'm afraid of like, I mean, it must tear apart their, I mean, the self-esteem, you know, you got to put pixes of yourself online.
I mean, when I was that age, I couldn't look at photos of myself.
It would ruin my day to see a photo of myself at that age.
Yet these kids got to put photos of themselves online and try to compete with like the handsome kids in their school and shit.
You know, it's tough.
I don't know how these kids are going to grow up.
But do you think in the end that it all equates back to exactly the same way it was?
Just the medium is a little different now?
I'm starting to think about it.
Probably more or less.
I mean, more or less, you know, I think.
Because the electronic thing, it is different.
There's this weird other reflective surface in the world that wasn't there when we were.
Well, you know, it's not all bad either.
I mean, you have a ton of knowledge at your fingertips.
I think that it gives them certain coordinating skills.
And, you know, I've read studies like being in a 3D world can kind of help your brain.
Like playing video games in a 3D world can enhance your perception and wire your brain in a different way in a good way.
Really?
Yeah.
Because it's kind of an incredible task to be able to actualize a 3D space on a 2D monitor.
Like if you're playing a video game and you're wandering around and you're really existing in this 3D world, but it's just on a screen.
I mean, that takes a lot of brain power, I feel like, and a lot of educating.
It just happens that we enjoy it.
We like doing it.
But I think that that definitely taps into some kind of part of our brain that could be good.
I really do think so.
I think a lot of that kind of stuff is over, maybe over, is alarmist stuff.
I grew up playing video games, you know.
Right.
Yeah, me too.
I loved them.
We played it a ton.
I'm not worried about video games so much as I am about the social pressure of being on Instagram at 12. Yeah, the social media would definitely be different.
because at least whenever we left home and stuff, when we went home from school and stuff, that was Instagram.
School was Instagram, and it was gone once you left there.
Right.
And you got to go home and have a life outside of there that was separate and that was.
And I looked in the mirror a couple times a day, and that's when I saw myself.
It wasn't like I'm trying to find the good angles and represent myself.
I never even thought about that.
Yeah, you had to wait until you got home to see the mirror to even fucking see yourself.
You look like shit.
I only need to remind myself I look like shit three times a day.
Not every time I open up on my phone.
Yeah.
It's tough, man.
I don't know how I deal with that as a young kid.
I am a little bit worried about that, but I'll, you know, hopefully.
You'll navigate it, man.
Hopefully he's handsome.
We did it.
It's fucking Theodore's problem.
Yeah, that's true.
We did it.
He's got to deal with the fucking world that's burning.
Yeah.
And Instagram.
You fucking.
I'll be dead by.
I'll be dead.
So it's his problem.
Look, man, any kid that for fucking two weeks is sucking on a dry tit, bro, I fucking respect that.
He's a warrior.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, bro.
He'll be fine.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Ethan, thanks so much, man.
I appreciate it.
Thank you for inviting me.
I'm so happy for you, bro.
And I love.
I wish you'd have gotten to maybe talk a little bit more about some of the mental health stuff.
Just for our own well-being, you know, I really want to.
It's hard to get into the right.
You can't always do it.
The groove.
I'm here, though.
You want to keep talking?
It's up to you.
You trying to end this?
Obviously, you're trying to end this.
You got shit to do.
You're a busy guy.
You're a busy guy.
I just have an appointment at 4 p.m.
What time is it?
You know what?
We'll do yours.
This has been a good experience.
Sometimes for me, it's also about...
I know exactly what you mean.
You know?
It's just easier to be in a place.
I think even being as a guest, sometimes it's easier for me.
Definitely.
Being not a guest for me is very tough sometimes.
But dude, you inspired us to get this office space.
Dude, I love what you guys did.
The space is incredible.
I don't know if you ever showed a tour.
I don't know if we have.
We really just kind of finished buttoning up.
Like these counters in this control room were the last part.
So I do, I was going to pitch that to you, like shooting like a crib style thing.
It's a good idea.
This is the first time that we've actually even comfortably had Nick in there.
We did it one other time, but this is really nice.
It's all just evolving.
But yeah, I remember you saying, I think there's a space in our building when I was here on your podcast.
Yeah, we're in the same building, dude.
I used the bathroom before.
I had the key already.
We could hear it when I was coming down the pipes.
Yeah, absolutely.
Most definitely.
It's beautiful.
It's like Africa.
No, you guys did an amazing job in here.
You changed the carpet, too, eh?
Oh, no.
They put in new carpet for you guys?
Yeah, they had some mannequins.
Somebody was storing mannequins in here, which was creepy as fuck.
That's like a Doctor Who episode.
And I wanted them.
I said, Keith, the mannequins were in.
I said, at least two.
There were two in the negotiations, bro.
And specific ones.
Did they leave them?
No, they ended up taking them.
Specific ones, they were like, no way, these are off limits.
And I'm like, well, what the fuck?
Like, okay, sorry.
I didn't know, you know?
But it definitely got interesting with the fucking.
It's interesting what people do in these offices.
My kinfolk, they call them.
Kinfolk, your mannequin?
How do you sexually identify?
I sexually identify as a straight male.
Binary?
Is that binary?
Or no, how do you call that?
He's binary.
Yeah, you're binary.
That means you're straight married.
Yeah, I'm straight male.
I'm doing women this time.
Maybe in next reincarnation or two or three down the road.
Suck some dick.
I'm not going to suck it, bro.
Come on.
I'll hold one outside, but I'm not doing anything indoors.
But I'll say this, man, is that Trisha Paytas, you guys just had that fay.
She's a male.
What was going on?
She had nine different ethnicities or gender that by the end, I didn't know what was going on.
By the end, I literally looked at my pants to see what was going on.
She's just a troll.
I don't think she actually.
She seemed kind of desperate to me a little bit.
But she's also very...
I watched some of her dance shows and stuff.
Some of it's pretty entertaining.
I agree.
She's very entertaining.
She'd made this whole video about how she identifies as a trans male, even though she looks like a female.
She dresses like a female.
She even does porn as a female.
Yeah.
She says you can be a lesbian and a gay man at the same time.
I was like, whoa, dude, I'm in like the LBGTQ zone right now.
Fuck that.
I'm out, bro.
I'll see you at Popeyes.
Dead brother go to Popeyes.
Don't go to Popeyes, dude.
You'll lose your life.
Dude, take a fucking gun, bro.
I'll shoot somebody.
Somebody got stabbed to death, you know, recently?
Dude, I went to Mardi Gran New Orleans every year.
We would go to the Popeyes and watch people fucking fight.
Is that where it goes down?
Where it goes down.
What is that in those sandwiches?
I don't know if it's the food, bro.
I want to say it's for the people.
But what is it about Popeyes?
I mean, I had Popeyes.
It's good.
Sandwich chicken for Popeyes.
Damn, that's an understatement.
Kill people for Popeyes.
Dude, and shout out to my boy fucking John, bro, Red John.
He works over there at Popeyes off of Highway 190.
Dude, yeah, Popeyes was like a nice restaurant when I was young.
Oh, that was like Agora going out the Popeyes, son.
We get it.
And it came with this little like figurine.
Can you look up the Popeye's figurine toy that came in their Happy Meal?
It was a little actual one of Popeye or olive oil.
Oh, it was actually Popeye?
And it came in.
It was associated with Popeye?
Yes.
What?
Where's the spinach?
Yeah, he's like, whatever it was.
I had no idea there was an association.
It used to be associated with Popeye.
It should still be.
Gotta like drop the fucking Popeye.
There it is.
The blue toy right there.
Click on that.
There we go.
They're like, you know what?
The chicken's better than Popeye.
Nobody cares about Popeye.
You could get spinach back in the day at Popeyes.
Wow.
I had no idea there was an association.
They totally dropped the Popeye from Popeyes.
And now it's just known for mixed people fucking body slamming each other in the parking lot.
More than the chicken.
The street fights.
Bro, if Popeyes doesn't start to sponsor the UFC, that's a fucking lost opportunity.
I'm out, man.
Ethan Klein, thank you so much.
Give a big hug to your wife and congratulations on Theodore.
Thank you very much.
That's your name.
Yeah, it's a beautiful name, man, and I'm happy to share it with you soon.
Thank you for your blessings.
We'll see you at the H3 Podcast at the next year.
Yep.
Gang blessed, bro.
Gang blessed.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm Falling like these leaves, I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind.
I found I can feel it in my bones.
But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking break and let myself on my shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my story just for you.
We'll be right back.
And I've been moving away too fast on the runaway train with a heavy love with a body.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sweet.
Is it deal?
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
John Main.
Hi, I'll take a quarter potter with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
