The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly | This Past Weekend #218
Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Theo opens the show calling his friend and drummer for Bishop Gunn, Burne Sharp, and asks him about the experience opening up for the Rolling Stones. Then Theo recaps a disastrous Single Mom’s Night Out, and calls the guy who nominated the single mom for San Francisco. They then takes some responses for Will, the 22 year old that was feeling down about knocking up his 19 year old girlfriend, including one from friend of the podcast Jocko Willink. Theo then tells a traumatic story from his childhood, and closes the show with an impromptu call with a second single mom that came out to the show in San Francisco. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to https://meundies.com/weekend Skillshare Get 2 months of Skillshare free at https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Music “Anything You Want” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/BishopGunn_AnythingYouWant Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Brandon Kirkman Carla Huffman Charles Herbst Christian Coyne Christina Peters Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook David Christopher David Smith David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug C Dusty Baker Fast Eddie Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Mariah Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sagar Jha Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Stephen Selph Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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All right That's the noise sometime I make that one boy When I wake up I do that one sometimes When I hear some bullshit I'll do this noise I'll
do that one sometimes You know We got the good we got the bad and we got the ugly let's start off with uh with some good man Let's check in with Bishop Gunn that is open up for the Rolling Stones Yo,
yo.
What's up, Bernel?
Suit, you already know, out here in Dallas, my boy.
Out there in Dallas, how'd that Rolling Stones show go, boy?
Dang, gang, gang right there, man.
Amen, bro.
How was it?
Oh, dude, it was insane.
I think they said the moment we took the stage, they had scanned in 41,000 people already.
Jesus, man.
I know it.
That's like the border.
Come on.
Come on, boy.
Come on.
Now, were you more nervous than a regular show walking out on that type of stage?
Dude, to be honest, I think that was probably like the easiest show day I've ever had in my life.
It was something, it was like exactly opposite of what I imagined.
I don't know if it was just what it was, but I just had this like super calm demeanor all day, just relaxed, walked out on stage and just knew we were going to kill it.
It was like no doubt in my mind.
As well as like last night in Dallas, you know, at just a club level, I was nervous all during sound check, making sure everything was perfect.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know why or how that happened that way, but it was something else, man.
Wow.
And when the Stones, when they, when was your first experience with them, like when you first saw them, like, what was your first interaction with them like?
Well, well, first of all, when they pulled up, like, it wasn't just a band getting to a venue to sound check.
It was, you know, we're in the loading dock right behind the stage where there's a big catwalk that goes up into the stage.
And we're standing back there just finished, you know, building drums and getting our production ready with the hands and stuff, you know.
And all of a sudden, all these guys come out and start yelling, like, get out of the way, get the fuck out of the way, you know, all this shit.
And so then, and then all of a sudden, a bunch of police motorcycles pull in, you know, lights on, just skirt in there real quick.
And would you think y'all had done a crime or something?
I did.
I didn't even know.
I figured it was them, though.
You already know they the stones, man.
They're going to be rolling hard.
There was six black sedans pulled in behind the police cars and just like came to a halt.
And the drivers all got out just at the same time, opened the doors, and there they were.
They just walked directly on the stage, did a quick sound check, and right back out to the cars and hauled ass out of there.
And what kind of cars?
Were they like Ubers or something?
Or was it like a fancy car?
And, you know, that Uber Elite.
Oh, wow.
I don't know.
It's Mercedes, though.
They were fresh.
And they all got out of different cars, each one of the stones?
Yeah, just one per car.
Wow.
And did they look at you or could you see them?
Did they look?
I mean, yeah, they were 10 feet from us when they got out, but I don't know.
They just seemed like they were there to do their shit.
You know, they just walked right on stage and owned it.
I mean, I'll tell you what, dude, they are surprisingly, like, even just watching their show, man, they still get it, dog.
That was, I mean, an amazing rock and roll show.
Just for doing it for so long.
I mean, there's the passion still there, which is, I guess, what we all hope to achieve, you know, and the careers we kick or whatever.
Yeah, I bet it was very, I bet so that I can imagine is very inspiring is just to see that and be like, wow.
Oh, I know.
Exactly.
You know, then after our set, we got to, it was pretty neat.
They led us back to their green room and we got to kind of talk to them all for a while and, you know, take some pictures and just kind of hang out.
And, you know, it was really cool, man.
I walked up on my drums before the show.
This is earlier in the day.
And Charlie Watts, the drummer, is standing there like tapping my drum heads and just talking about how he loved my kit because it's an old vintage, you know, Rogers kit from the 60s.
And he recognized that.
And that was the first experience I had with any of them in person.
And it was just like, holy shit.
You know, one of the most legendary rock and roll drummers just like, I don't know, came up to my kit and was and graced it with his presence even.
Oh, yeah, dude.
That's like if I walked up and, you know, George Carlin was, you know, touching my girlfriend's tits or something, you know, I'd be like, hey.
Just graced by the presence.
Damn.
Let me grace these titties real quick.
Hold up.
Or if I walked up and he was just doing my laundry or something.
I mean, that's crazy.
And did you know it was him when you walked up?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They're, I mean, just ingrained.
I mean, they're household names.
I mean, I know exactly.
You know, I was like, holy shit.
Well, dude, what's funny is your dad told me about the stones.
Look, I mean, obviously it was sheltered from music.
My mother used to make us listen to Brian Adams when we would clean the house, dude.
Everything I do, I do it for you.
Remember that one?
Come on.
That was a hit, boy.
Yeah, man.
That was a hit.
And then I remember your dad's like, the Rolling Stones.
And I'm like, I've never heard of them.
He's like, you've never heard of the Rolling Stones.
He's like, you never heard of the Rolling Stones.
So I know, man.
I'm just so proud of you, man.
Congratulations, bro.
I'm so happy for you.
And I know everybody at this past weekend, man, I know everybody just loves, you know, Bishop Gunn.
Oh, dude, gang, gang, man.
I'll tell you what, all those guys and everybody this past weekend there at every show.
You know, we'll be walking on stage.
You'll just hear a whole plethora of gang gang.
It's just like, come on, dude.
That's badass, man.
We definitely appreciate that love, man.
It's helped us more than you know, brother.
Oh, man.
Well, it's funny, man.
It's funny how the love always wins.
You know, it's like, you know, I mean, it's from top to bottom.
Your dad introduced me to the Stones.
Your dad helped me out when I needed it.
You know, you and I have become friends, and here you are opening up for them.
And we all love your music, man.
And just thank you guys, man.
Tell Travis and everybody we said, hey.
Oh, I sure will.
No doubt.
And I got to go because I'm going to listen to a little bit of Bishop Gum while I start this episode, baby.
All right.
Come on, get it.
Come in.
Anything you want, hit her, dog.
It's the name of the tour we're on right now.
Anything you want is y'all's tour right now?
That's the name of it.
That's the second song on the album.
I love it.
I don't know if we've ever played that one.
I don't think you have, man.
It's a fresh hitter.
That's that.
Show it to him.
Show it to him.
Okay, I'll put it out right here, boy.
We'll start off with some Anything You Want with that Fresh Hitter right here.
Gang, gang, baby.
Be good, man.
Love you, brother.
All right.
Love you, bro.
All right, man.
I'm proud of you, man.
Be good.
Bye-bye.
Anything you want.
*Dramatic music* They can spot you high-heeled
shoes, I'm so blue, shining from a mile away.
*Dramatic music* Every night looking so righteous, so tight, selling, make'em hey.
*Dramatic music* Keeping time on your wrist, checking that list, looking to assist with another man's foul to see.
*Dramatic music* So you take another turn, blime into a cold, do it till you're broke to escape reality.
*Dramatic music* I can hear you saying That's what I hold you got on me Don't let me spend all night alone If you'll just give me what I need You could have anything you want
Man, you could have anything you want.
That's Bishop Gunn.
That's Burn Sharp.
And they just, I mean, they got to open up for the Rolling Stones.
And I'll be honest, look, you talking to a guy right here.
I would rather probably, you know, don't tell anybody.
I'd rather hear a little bit of goo-goo dolls and maybe some little boosey badass.
But, you know, but just that they got to do it.
That they got to live a dream to walk out on a stage in front of 50,000, 40, 70,000 people.
And just, that's wild, man.
That's cool.
And you can still hear it in his voice, how pumped up he is, you know, and just, it's so cool, man, you know, that so many people that listen to this podcast and just how much a lot of us love their music.
Now, I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who I put on Bishop Gunn, man, and they're like, fuck, he's playing this song again.
But man, just cool to be a part of somebody's dream for a second.
And then also the wild thing for me is, you know, and I've talked about this before, that was the drummer Bern Sharp from Bishop Gunn.
And that's the good, man.
That's the good right there.
You know, and his dad, you know, gave me work when I needed it, let me work on their farm, let me live with them for a bit.
And he was good to me, man.
And his father passed away.
And his dad introduced me to the Rolling Stones.
And his dad liked to play the instruments and do drumming and music.
And here he is, his son, getting to live that dream and live that life and just have that experience.
You know, and sometimes, you know, our fathers or our mothers, somebody before us has to take, they have to kind of take an L or they have to do a lot of the labor so that the next generation can live a dream.
You see it in a lot of places.
Some family, you know, somebody has to come to a certain, you know, some families that come to America in the first generation, they have to, you know, work 50, 60 hours a week and slave away.
But then the second generation, they get to have maybe a different opportunity or live a dream.
And it's funny to think of all like that when we get to have an achievement or a dream that if we really think about our ancestors and stuff, like we get to do that for a lot of, not just for ourselves, but just for the stacks of history that are within us.
You know, for our grandmother, our grandfather, for our parent, great-grandparent.
You know, any of them who ever went an extra day at work and said, man, I'm going to do a little extra.
I'm not going to give up today.
I'm going to get this done so that my son or my grandchild could live a dream.
And it's pretty, it's just interesting because his father played music and he didn't, you know, and he tried and he, you know, battled with addiction and he didn't figure it out.
But he loved his kids and there were instruments around the house.
And so his son grew up to be a drummer.
And now here he is getting to open up For his father's favorite band, The Rolling Stones.
It's just, you know, life is doing its thing as well while we're doing ours.
So, but that was the good, man.
I wanted to just share that experience.
You know, and I'm so proud of it.
I'm so proud of that kid.
I'm so proud of Bern, you know.
And, and if you haven't seen him, look, I swear to God, bro, I get thrown a lot of shitty music, dude.
There's dudes.
One guy sent me a whole album.
It's just him and his mother fist fighting over a Salisbury State.
Like, what the fuck is this?
I mean, look, I liked it a little bit, but, you know, after the third track, you're like, damn, y'all need to go to neutral corners.
Y'all need to go to neutral corners because y'all ain't coming to real conclusions about this meet.
But just really, man, it's nice to know that over the weekend, maybe you or I didn't have the greatest weekend or we had this type of weekend, but somebody somewhere is living out their dream.
They're living out a moment that to them is very amazing.
And then the following weekend, it'll be our turn or it'll be somebody else's turn.
And we take turns.
I want to thank everybody that came out in San Francisco.
We did our best.
They had mice in the club.
And they had mice in a club.
If you've been to Cobbs and if your waiter is really little, see if they got a tail because they got mice at the club.
Every time I turned around, I was like, what is that?
And I thought it was the government maybe eavesdropping with little creatures, but these were natural mice because I lifted a couple of them up and saw the genitals.
And the government, if they're making like a little listening mouse, a fake one, you know, just a little bitty, you know, little squeak drone, then they won't put the genitals on it.
But a natural mouse, one of God's mouse, they got the junk.
Boy, you could see that little hitter on it.
That little skeet dealer.
Or that little, you know, that little ivory maker.
And you can say, okay, well, this is a real, this is a real mouse.
This is a city mouse.
And they had really, they definitely got mice in the club.
But great, great people there.
But we had a rough experience.
I'm going to tell you what it was, you know, and what it wasn't.
And so that's where we'll get into the bad.
The single mom.
So we like to have single moms come out.
And, you know, and I want to thank everybody on Patreon and just everybody that listens to the podcast.
You know, and I, you know, and I never, when I was young, I always wanted to help my mother out and I could not.
But, you know, I couldn't do it.
I wasn't, I didn't have the means.
And so that's why we do the single mom stuff is just so we can climb a little bit back up the ladder of time and try to help a little bit or do something, you know, do something nice.
That's what we do it for.
So we had a single mom that came out and she really took advantage of the situation.
You know, she, you know, ran up a huge tab at dinner and mostly on alcohol.
And then they came to the club, the comedy show.
And they, her and her friend, they, you know, they bought, like, they ordered like a bottle of champagne or something at the club.
They left halfway through the show.
They told the management that I was racist.
And they left and took the liquor with them out into the street.
So I just want to investigate what happened because, you know, I wasn't there.
And that's what I've heard.
I mean, I was there, but I wasn't, you know, I was on a stage and I wasn't able to meet up with the mother before the show.
So you had a caller that called in and recommended her.
So I'm going to call this cat right now.
Because honestly, at first, I was really mad.
I'm like, oh, this bitch out here.
That was my first thought, honestly.
It made me mad.
You know, I just felt like this lady had took advantage of us.
So let me give this fella a call and see what's going on.
because this is the guy that nominated her.
This is Michael that nominated the single mother.
I just want to know.
Yo, yo, yo.
Hey, Michael.
Yes.
Hey, what up, man?
This is Theo.
Oh, what up, Racking?
How's it going?
Gang.
Gang, bro.
Nice to hear your voice today.
How are you?
Doing all right.
Doing all right.
Just at work on lunchbook, chilling out.
How's your day, man?
Oh, you having a little bit of lunch.
What do you like to have for lunch?
I like to have Jimmy John.
You like that Jimmy John?
I got one of the microwavable smart ones.
Oh, you got that little smart bowl, huh?
Oh, yeah, with the little chicken and the noodles and the cream.
Oh, there we go.
I like it, man.
Well, yeah, thanks for letting me chop into your lunch break real quick.
Yeah, we had, you know, we tried to do the single mom's night out with the comedy show, and this one was a disaster, apparently.
Do you know anything about it?
No, I mean, the only thing I really heard was that, like, you were tired and stuff, so, like, it didn't necessarily happen the way it would, I guess, normally happen.
Otherwise, I mean, I just heard you weren't feeling well.
Yeah, I was just under a lot of stress, and so I just needed to try and get some rest in the afternoon.
But, yeah, the mom, I guess they went to the restaurant, and they ran up like a huge tab.
Like, you know, we'd give them like $150, and they spent like $400.
They bought a bunch of alcohol.
Yeah, and then they showed up at the comedy club and bought a bottle of alcohol, which I didn't know you could do at a comedy club, and left and then ran out with it.
They told the management that I was racist, and they left out of the club with the liquor.
And so, yeah, they just ran up like a $400 tab at dinner.
And, yeah, I don't know, man.
This shit, it made me mad, maybe kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.
I just wanted to know.
Because you nominated this lady.
Yeah, no, I mean, like, again, like, I know she didn't tell me anything about that.
Like, I mean, like, I thought it was kind of weird that she didn't, like, hit me back up because I was like, oh, what's going on with the day?
Blah, blah, blah.
Not here anything.
The next day I hit her up.
And then that's when she replied.
She's like, oh, Theo wasn't feeling well.
He didn't, you know, when we saw the set, like, it seemed like everything was fine.
I had no idea.
I didn't hear anything about any of this shit.
Oh, okay.
Well, what kind of lady is she?
Because, yeah, I mean, it really kind of at first I was angry.
You know?
Yeah, oh, definitely.
But I just want to know who she is and why did you think or what made you think or maybe you don't know her that well.
I just wanted to get a read on you before on her.
No, I mean, that's exactly what it's starting to seem like.
No.
Like I told Nick, I mean, she's been my mom's best friend pretty much.
I mean, they don't see, you know, they're adults.
She went off and had her whole life and all that.
But she's married, got kids.
Seems like she's a psychologist type person.
She's married?
She was with the VA and stuff.
She was.
Was married.
She was married.
She was divorced and all that stuff.
Okay.
But it seems like she adopted her niece because the house that her brother or something was super weird or creepy or something.
So she adopted him, her from him.
There's been a lot of stuff.
So you know her, though?
Well, yeah.
I mean, like she always stayed at her house for like a week.
Okay, so you know the lady.
It's not a lady you do not know though, is what I'm saying.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
If it was something I had no idea about, no, I would never.
I mean, I honestly didn't even think that she would be picked.
It was one of those things where it's just like you said, oh, we're going to be in San Francisco.
And I was like, oh, well, I mean.
Right.
And then she let me stay in her house.
Like, she was out of town doing something else.
I see.
And is she going through a tough time or something?
Do you know anything else about her?
Because I'm going to call her.
I just want to know who she is before I give a buzz.
Yeah.
And apparently she's ducked all of our calls since then.
But yeah, I mean, from everything I learned from the management of the comedy club to the restaurant that she was just a nightmare.
And she ran up a $400 tab at a small restaurant.
Yeah, no, that's, what the fuck?
She bought a bottle of, yeah, like $260 champagne.
Like, you know, I'm all about like, it just kind of goes against what we do.
So I just wondered, you know, I was just trying to see if there was a reason that this is the lady that you would submit.
Because then it makes me wonder, well, who would submit somebody like this who doesn't seem...
No, I'll try to call her too.
But I mean, I talked to her, like I said, I talked to her, like, I've known her my whole life.
Like, it's one of those things where I, like I said, I literally thought it was kind of weird that I didn't hear back from her, but I figured maybe she had a good time.
Cool.
I figured it's one of those things where, you know, maybe, you know, she's, you know, she's an older lady, so it's not already, you know, she's like not older.
But you know, there's one of those things where she's older.
She's not older.
What is she?
No, she's in her like 40s.
Like, I mean, like, she's not old compared to like you.
I'm like 26. Right.
But no, no, I literally, like, I've known this lady my whole life.
I literally had no idea she, I, I mean, I thought it was weird.
I legit, like, I'm being real with you.
I thought it was weird that I didn't hear from her.
Okay.
Cool.
No, I appreciate it, man.
Well, look, here's the only thing, man.
Thank you for nominating.
I appreciate you trying to make the effort.
You know, obviously, you didn't know that it was going to be like this.
We've just never had this experience at all.
And I'm not surprised.
I've never heard anything sketchy from her.
Not surprised that she's single at all.
But just don't nominate anybody else, okay?
Definitely.
I'm so sorry, man.
Like, legit.
Like, I'm going to like.
Yeah, no, I know you are.
It's not your issue.
Look, some of it is, I don't know how to deal with the, you know, like, this shit just kind of made me mad.
It made me, like, think, because my first thoughts are, I don't want to do this anymore.
You know, like, oh, Jesus.
But that doesn't help, you know.
But yeah, she, yeah, I mean, she really, she offended people at the comedy club.
The manager sent me a letter.
I mean, if she didn't want to go, I don't know why she wouldn't have just at least said, hey, that's really cool, but no, thanks.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I just don't know.
She sounds, I mean, I don't know her.
That does not sound like a person I know, but I'm sure everybody is different, like, as far as the way they act with people they know versus how they act out in the rest of the world.
100%.
But thanks for nominating her, man.
I appreciate it.
I'm going to jump off the line, but I appreciate it, man.
I know you had best interests, and we did as well.
But yeah, just don't nominate anybody else.
Is that okay?
Definitely.
No, I definitely will.
Again, it was one of those things where I was, you said that you're going to be in Frisco.
I knew somebody.
Like I said, I stayed at this lady's house a whole week.
She let me walk with a crazy.
Yeah, it was one of those things where I just legit thought that she was the legit person.
When she may be.
I'm going to give her a buzz and see what's going on with her.
I mean, she's ducked all the calls, so at this point, I don't know why, you know, I just can't get a read on her, and I don't know what's going on.
No, and like, I'm a huge fan, man.
Like, this is like, I'm fucking up.
Yeah, I appreciate it, man.
I appreciate you.
You know, there's no, there's no, part of it is I'm angry a little bit, and I'm not handling it very well.
You know, I've had a stressful week, and I've just been stressed out, and just, you know, we wanted to do something nice, and you know that, and that's why you submitted her.
And just because she's the only thing I've ever known her for my entire life is being nice.
Like, I literally, like, had I've been in the middle of that.
I mean, she just had a bad experience.
Yeah.
They just said she came in drunk and that she was rude and that she, you know, then that she left with a bottle of alcohol, which is, they said no one's ever done that from the club.
But anyway, man, it's not your issue, but I did want to let you know that she took advantage of your kindness.
You know, and I appreciate you listening and I appreciate you nominating her.
And I'm sorry if I'm seeming a little angsty.
I've just had a tough, a little bit of a tough week.
But I'm going to give her a call now and see what's up.
All right.
Well, I mean, hopefully, if you're able to get a hold of her, I mean, hopefully she can at least explain herself.
Or maybe, you know, maybe when she gets wasted, she's a complete asshole.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
But I do apologize, man.
I'm really sorry.
That's okay, man.
I appreciate you submitting her, man.
I really do.
And I appreciate you trying to be a part of just something cool.
And we did our best.
And I know you did, too.
Oh, yeah.
And I love you, bro.
Have a good day, all right?
I love you too, man.
Have a good day.
And I'm so sorry about that.
I want to.
All right, man.
All right.
Alright, let's see if we can call this lady up.
BELL RINGS Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.
The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time.
Goodbye.
Well, there you go.
So that's that.
But, yeah, so it was just kind of a nightmare.
And I felt a little bad.
I kind of took it out on that dude a little bit, man.
But it's nobody's fault.
It's the lady's fault.
It's the lady's fault.
And then I get upset sometimes.
I want to blame other people, but it's that lady's fault, man.
But yeah, it just put like a damper on the weekend a little bit, you know.
But outside of that, San Francisco was great, man.
It was great, dude.
It was so beautiful there.
Dude, it's like the city, first of all, you really have to be an outdoors person to do San Francisco.
They got uphill.
They got downhill.
They got uphill or down.
Dude, sometimes you don't even know which way you're going.
You're just like, fucking somebody help me.
There's people going by, Chinese people on donkeys.
They got everything.
They got, you know, they got secret passages.
Like, they got Sherpas.
They have some serious hills going on in that city.
You know, they have some serious hills going on in that city.
But it was beautiful.
I mean, it was just beautiful.
And yeah.
And yeah, but yeah, so the single mom thing didn't make things cool, man.
And just the fact she told the management that at the club.
I'm leaving because he's racist.
She's wasted.
You know, they bought like it's not, and it's not about the money they spend.
It's just that they, I don't know.
I guess I just felt a little taken advantage of.
So, you know, I don't know.
I guess I'm just not really processing it as well as I would like to.
You know, and my first thought was like, oh, fuck it.
You know, I'm going to get angry at everybody.
You know, I call Nick.
I call, you know, I'm like trying to fit, you know, and then, but in the end, it's just that lady chose to not be cool.
And I don't know what's going on with her.
Maybe she's having a shitty week.
Maybe, you know, I could definitely see probably why she's single if this is the kind of shit she does.
But, you know, I don't know.
Maybe she just got drunk.
Who knows?
But that's that, man.
But how about Bishop Gunn, dude?
You know, how about that?
How about that?
They did it.
They did it.
They're doing it, man.
They're doing it.
That's that Pittsburgh accent.
You only hear that in Pittsburgh.
A random.
That's very Pittsburgh.
And different places have different sounds, you know.
Different places have different sounds.
You got to think about that.
You know, this is a sound you might get if you're like in Norway, you know.
Uleboki.
Uleboki.
I don't know what that means, but that's like a Norwegian type of sound, you know.
Well potato.
Well potato.
That's maybe something from Idaho or something.
See, because the person said potato in it.
But they got a lot of different sounds out there.
And you can hear them in different places.
What else we got, man?
Let's take some calls that came in.
You know, they had a young fellow last week.
He called in and he knocked a gal up because he was busting.
You know, he was busting.
And here's the thing.
You know, if you're going to ejaculate inside of another person, you can't be shocked if another person crawls out of that person nine months later.
I mean, here's the thing.
If you're about to do ejaculation, and I don't like to say it that much, but I'll say e-jack.
If you're about to do some e-jack, your body gives you a couple warnings.
First, your body says, A, A, A, A. I'm going to E-Jack in about eight seconds.
So after that, you got eight seconds to get out the building, Papa.
If you milling around, loitering, if you are loitering inside of someone else's body and you got the circle of life, liquid about to fire out of your newts, man, you're done.
And there's nobody to blame.
Your body gives you eight full seconds.
Dude, eight seconds, you could get, I mean, it's not an escape room.
It's not like there's clues around, you know, and you got to find this and that.
You got eight seconds to get out of somebody's body.
And it's very easy.
Just get out.
So I'm fired up today, man.
That anger, that lady got me with that anger.
You know, just what a fucking bitch, bruh, honestly.
And if I had a damn missile, I would just, if I had a spare missile, I'd throw it at that bitch, man.
I really, really would.
And I know that's not very becoming of me, but I'll be dang, bruh.
If I had like a little bitty, dude, if somebody was throwing tear gas and I had a gas mask and one extra, I'd put one on and then I just fucking wouldn't tell her about the other one.
You feel me?
So that's how I'm feeling right now.
Keyed up, dude.
If I had 60 wishes, I wouldn't fucking wish for nothing for that lady.
And I guess I should actually, let me think about why I'm actually upset.
Because yeah, my first, you know, I just, I get upset and I just want to lash out.
I want to lash out at everybody.
I want to be upset at Nick.
You know, why didn't we screen this person?
You know, why don't we, you know, like, I want to be, you know, I'm upset at myself for being exhausted.
Why didn't I make sure to go meet them during the day instead of just us trying to treat them to something?
So I'm trying to think about what makes me mad.
Why I'm really mad.
I mean, I'm just, I'm just mad that somebody, I'm mad that I understand why people at some point say, oh, you cage, you can't do anything nice because somebody fucks it up.
You know, you can't, you know, you can't put a water fountain in the park because, you know, suddenly, you know, somebody come along and put, you know, oleander in the water or put dirty poison in the water and somebody gets poisoned out.
And somebody gets poisoned out.
You know, that's what, so that was the thing.
I think that made me mad.
And then I think it made me mad that I, you know, I don't have all the time that I want to have.
I want, you know, I wish I, you know, I should have gone and met with the woman in advance so then I could get a feeling as to what's going on.
If I'm at dinner with her, then I can see, okay, well, she's drinking way too much.
This isn't, you know, we shut it down.
So that's just what it is, bro.
But anyway, I'm going to get off some of the serious stuff.
But, well, am I, though?
Because let's take some calls, though, that came in for Will.
Because he decided to loiter around in a woman's body for that last eight seconds, brother.
That ride, that rodeo Will.
And some suggestions came in for him.
First, let's listen to exactly what Will called in about.
And thank you so much for calling Will.
And I'm sorry I'm a little keyed up today, but let's replay what Will was struggling with.
I'm 22, and I feel pretty lost in life, man.
I got my 19-year-old girlfriend pregnant.
Feeling pretty down because sometimes I feel like she might be better off without me.
She had so much potential, you know, like she was going to a really good school, was going to get into pre-med, all that.
All kind of got thrown away because I got her pregnant.
And I can't imagine that struggle.
And actually, man, I applaud you for reaching out and being willing to just hear what other people have to say.
You know, and I don't have no child, man.
If you look in my pockets, I got nothing in there, no children, dude.
And or at my house.
Or if there is a child at my house, he's hiding.
I know that.
Because sometimes I hear somebody with something, but I look and it's nothing, you know, and it's nothing.
But we had a call from a good friend of mine who also has a really neat podcast.
And this man had some suggestions for you.
Will right here, Mr. Jocko Willink.
There he is.
Boy, man, he looks tough even when you open up the video player.
Hey, what's up, Theo?
And what is up, Will from Martha's Vineyard?
And Theo and Crew sent me your audio, your question, and I wanted to give a little feedback for you.
First of all, you start off by saying that you are 22 years old and you are, you, you feel like you're lost in life.
And first of all, I want to say that there's a lot of people that feel like they're lost in life and there's people that are lost in life at 22 and at 32 and at 42 and at 52. So I actually look at it as a little bit of a blessing that this little baby is a wake-up call for you to recognize that you're a little bit lost and that you need some direction at 22. That's actually a positive thing.
And I also want to say that I know that you probably feel like you're overwhelmed that you've got this baby coming in.
But the fact of the matter is when you're having a kid, no matter who you are, you're going to feel overwhelmed because for the first time in your life, you're going to have something that you're responsible for that's more important than you.
And that can be heavy and it can be kind of overwhelming.
So just be ready for that.
Another thing that you talk about is you're saying that your girl that's pregnant is she had a bunch of potential and now that's all thrown away.
Man, her potential is not thrown away.
Her potential is not thrown away.
Will she still the same human being?
She's just going to have a baby.
And everything that she had potential to do before, she still has that potential.
You know, if she wants to go to med school or whatever you said that she was wanting to do or going to do, she can still do all that.
She's going to have to make some adaptations.
She's going to have to get some help along the way.
She's going to have to get some help from you.
You two are going to have to work together as a team to make it happen.
But her potential is still there.
And if she's a good person and she has high potential, that doesn't change at all.
So don't worry about that.
Just going to be some work for you and for her.
As far as you saying that you think she might be better off without you, that's just flat out not true.
That's just not true.
She's going to need you.
The baby's going to need you.
That's just wrong.
And, you know, you're at a point in your life where you don't feel like you can make enough money, right?
And that's a problem, man.
That's going to be hard.
And what you're going to have to do is you're going to have to dig in.
You're going to have to dig in to get a roof over their heads and get food in their mouths.
And, you know, it's going to be tough.
And that's sort of the way life is, man.
Life is hard.
And, you know, it's hard, but it's also like, it's good.
And you know, I was in the Navy, and you don't make a ton of money when you're in the Navy.
And my wife and I, we had three kids.
We lived in a little tiny 930 square foot house, two-bedroom house with three kids.
My wife and I, our bedroom, our bed was actually in the living room slash dining room.
So there was a dining table, and then there was our bed, and then there was a couch, and that's where we lived.
And when people came over and opened the door to go into our house, on the left-hand side was our bed where we slept at night.
So, you know what?
I was driving an old beat-down Dodge Grand Caravan minivan and living in this tiny house with my wife and kids.
And you know what?
Doesn't matter.
We didn't think about it.
We weren't running around complaining.
We were just happy that we were there and doing what we were doing.
So don't worry about that.
You know, another really positive thing that you say is you say that your girl is like an amazing girl and has a great attitude and she's smiling all the time.
That's awesome.
And what you should try and do is you should, you need to try and be the same thing for her.
You know, don't be moping around and feeling like you can't get anything done.
No, you need to step up and take action.
And that's probably really the final thing for me is I have a lot of friends, a lot of veterans.
I know a lot of veterans.
And sometimes when they get out of the military, they struggle and they get a little bit lost of what they're doing.
And I always say it's because one of the main reasons is because they don't have a mission anymore.
Because when you're in the military, you have a mission, you've got something to do, you've got goals, you've got other people that are on the same mission with you, and it's a really positive thing.
And then when guys get out of the military, all of a sudden they don't have a mission anymore.
Well, the way I look at this for you, Will, is right now you have a mission and it's crystal clear.
And that is your mission is to take care of these two girls that are counting on you.
And that means, yeah, you're going to have to work hard.
You're going to be working overtime.
And I don't know what your skill set is.
You know, you might be working at McDonald's.
You might be working at Wendy's.
When I was a kid, I worked at Wendy's.
Damn.
You know, guess what?
That's what you do.
Bro, I'm going to interrupt for one second, and it's a beautiful message.
Can you imagine?
I would be so scared to order at Wendy's.
Dude, you order like a junior bacon cheeseburger.
And next thing you know, you're like, you're on a mission in Afghanistan.
Like, that's how I feel.
I'd be so afraid to order from Jocko at Wendy's onward.
To pay bills.
So I worked at Wendy's.
And there's people that work in McDonald's.
They work at Wendy's.
They move up through the chain.
They end up making that their life.
And they make good money doing it.
I don't know if that's what you're going to do, but I'm saying there's options.
And you got to go out there and you got to make something happen.
And this little girl that you've got coming, she's counting on you to accomplish this mission.
So that's what you got to do, Will.
You got to get out there.
You got to get on that mission.
You got to make things happen.
And you got to get after it.
So that's all I got.
Thanks for asking me, Theo.
Good luck.
Good luck to Will.
And of course, Gang Gang.
That's all I got, y'all.
Have a good one.
Man.
You know, what a good message, man.
Right there, Will, that's a great, those are some great suggestions by Jocko.
Gang Gang at you, bro.
Back at you, Jock.
And he has a great podcast called Jocko Podcast.
And if you struggle, you know, a lot of young men these days, we struggle with you have to, sometimes you need to hear that.
We need to hear somebody say, look, you need to get your shit.
You're going to have to take action.
You have to make a mission for yourself.
Or there's a mission right in front of you.
Survival, taking care of a new born, someone you're bringing into the world.
And the great thing about Jocko is, man, is that, man, he's a loving guy.
You know, he loves being a family man.
He has three beautiful children.
He loves being a family man.
He loves it, man.
And we're going to have him back on the podcast this fall.
And, man, you know, I needed to hear that too, actually.
It's funny.
You can put all this into your own life, Will.
Like, even while Jocko is giving you a suggestion, it's me, too.
It's like, you know, we just got to stay on the mission.
You know, we stay on the mission.
You know, we stay on the mission.
We don't let things get choppy, things get this or that.
You know, we stay on the mission.
But yeah, if you need that, if you need to hear somebody tell you a message that, I mean, this guy's been through it all.
And he's big in the biceps and he's just as big in the heart.
And that's Navy SEAL right there, Jocko Willink from Jocko Podcast.
You can check it out.
Thank you, Jocko, man.
Really, really cool.
Man, I feel so lucky to just even, you know, be able to reach out to somebody when I need some guidance.
You know, we can't forget to do that.
You know, sometimes I sit around, like, I think, like, you know, I could have, you know, it's like, how do we handle things better?
If I don't know what to do, I have to ask somebody who's had the experience.
And I don't have to take the suggestions they offer, but to not ask somebody and just go blindly into stuff for me, man, it's just, I just, you know, just a good reminder.
Thank you very much, Jocko.
Let's get some other calls that came in for John for Will.
A couple more suggestions from the hotline.
Here we go.
What up, Theo?
This is Thai from Ponchatoula, Louisiana.
Gang, gang, Ponchatoula, that strawberry festival.
Dude, nice to go over there, boy.
I ate all the strawberries.
And a lot of people don't know, I didn't have, you know, when I was young, my mom would get strawberries.
And my grandmother would grow strawberries.
And every now and then, they would mail down a couple Pints of them and they were good.
And one time I had blueberries on 4th of July when I was probably about 13. And I'd never had them before.
So I'd never even had blueberries, bro, until maybe 14. And blueberries, they really are, I mean, they are, they're unique.
You got to admit it.
They're unique.
When you see them, you think, I ain't eating it.
And then you have a couple, and then you're like, dang, boy.
Next thing you know, you're buying a pack of them.
You know, next thing you know, you breaking open a swisher and putting a couple of blueberries in there.
And you just getting just straight up bloonted, bruh.
So I remember I had a bunch of 4th of July, and I had one, and they were big.
These things were, I mean, they would have been at least a size 36 or 38 pant waist.
These blueberries were large.
I mean, you know, a couple of them looked like they hadn't been working and just been living off the government, you know, that kind of thickness to them.
And I had a bunch.
And then a little bit later, I was out on the deck, you know, that night and people started tickling each other.
Because right before, I feel like I was at the age, we were staying at the beach, I was with my friend.
And right before the age when we started getting liquor and doing dope and all of that, that's really when people started really tickling each other.
And people really, right before drugs and alcohol kind of came out, that's really when people were tickling each other a lot.
A lot.
You walk down the street and see four or five guys in hoodies just tickling the fuck out of some dude till his wallet fell out of his pocket.
People were tickling.
And the thing about tickling is at first you get giggled up and then you get, you go past that.
Some guy will ejaculate.
Sometimes you tickle somebody 15 minutes, bro, it'll ejaculate.
It's crazy.
I mean, you know, anything can happen, but what was I talking about?
Oh, so everybody tickled me so much out on the patio.
I was on the balcony of this.
We were on a standard, a high-rise thing at the beach, you know, a hotel room.
And it was way up, and they tickled me so much, dude, and I was in a bath towel.
And the blueberries hit me.
They'd never been in my system before.
And blueberries really, you know, your body don't really, your body likes them, but your body also make your body feel like there's a mystery, like in your stomach or in your butt.
It'll make you, it kind of makes you feel like you got Sherlock Holmes in your stomach and then maybe a little bit of, you know, some of that encyclopedia Brown in your butt.
You feel me?
And so I did enough blueberries and I had to use, go to the bathroom and do it, you know, do a, you know, do the old, you feel me?
Do a little bit of, you know, do a little bit of that dark back work, you know.
And they tickled me so much and I just, my bowels gave out.
Because I still, my bowels were still developing.
I was 14 years old.
And you don't get fully developed, you know, you don't get fully developed in your bows until you're probably, what, 22, 24. And man, I just, I still feel bad about it.
But I just, I didn't like talking about it.
It's kind of gross, and I'm sorry to even say it, but I just dootied right off that balcony.
And just from like 14 stories up, just, and they wouldn't stop tickling me.
And the towel had come off me.
And then, you know, and everybody was tickling me.
And even an old person, one of the people that was tickling me was very old.
And there's something about watching somebody tickle your nude skin with really old hands that makes you, it just does something to you.
And I don't even know what it does, but it definitely does it.
So anyway, sorry.
But yeah, so I mean, I was just doing, just spraying basically duty off the balcony, just flying out of it because blueberries, they get real active.
They have active ingredients in them.
They got that Jamie Lee Curtis in them, bro.
That activia.
And that activia, my bowels just get activiated, boy.
And I just, I was just like a fire hydrant of just dark work, just flying off the 14th story of that deal.
And it got, I mean, people were getting crazy, man.
Somebody down below, I think one of the security guards shot a gun up into it, up into the cloud of it.
He just didn't know.
And I don't blame him.
I don't blame him, you know.
If a bunch of body dark has just fallen out of the sky on him, I'd fire a couple rounds into it.
Praise God, brother.
And so I think that pretty much counts as the ugly.
Yeah, we got, that's the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I mean, that's blueberries, bruh.
And that's blueberries.
But yeah, thank you for calling from Ponchatula there, home of the Strawberry Festival, the Louisiana Strawberry Festival.
And if you'd like to listen to some Zydeco music and do some dancing, or you want to fall in love with somebody that you already love a little bit and they don't know it, you take them there.
And you go dance and you get them a snow cone and you guys enjoy each other's company and it's a good place to fall in love.
Let's hear more.
I was in a similar situation about a young man who is about to have a baby on August 17th, about a year ago.
Well, about 10 months ago, I had just quit my job.
I was having some financial problems.
I was looking for another, a better opportunity for work, and I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant, and it shook me.
I didn't know what to do, I didn't have a job, I was lost, scared.
I was faced with a challenge that I wasn't sure that I could overcome.
But, like you said, Theo, you got to get active.
And that's what I did, man.
I got off my butt and I got after it, man.
I was doing everything that I could do to make it happen, to give my girlfriend and my child the best life.
May 26th, I had a young boy, a baby boy.
So to the young man that is coming close, you can do it, man.
The baby's going to get here.
It's going to change your life.
Just keep moving.
Be active.
You have a purpose now.
And you can do it, man.
I know you can.
Thank you, Theo.
Gang, gang.
Gang, bro.
Man, wow.
What a well-spoken young man.
And you can really feel his concern and you can really feel his hope for the other young fella, for Will.
And that's cool, isn't it?
Man, human connection is just.
Man, it's powerful.
Isn't it powerful, man?
It's powerful, you know.
There's something just so powerful when somebody cares about somebody else, you know, and you know it.
And that's why, you know, that's, I think that's the thing that made me the most upset.
Not to make this about me now.
That was a beautiful message, man.
It's a great suggestion.
Just the chance that the thing you're most scared of could change your life for the better.
That's fascinating, isn't it?
The thing you're most scared of.
You most scared to go in the cave at the end of the town, the one that says keep out.
And finally, after years, you go in there and nine feet in there, there's just bars of gold, you know?
We don't know.
But if you stay active, both of these men said that.
You know, this gentleman from Ponchatoula and Jocko said the same thing.
You have to stay active.
You know, yesterday, man, honestly, brother, the lady, you know, wrecking up the single mom thing, it made me mad, man.
It made me mad.
You know, and then it made me sad, made me angry at myself, made me feel stupid for trying to do something.
You know, and that's okay.
That's normal stuff.
That's the way I feel about things.
That's my process or whatever.
But, you know, I talked to a friend last night and, you know, she was saying, well, you know, it's nobody's fault.
It's just like you just have to learn together as a group and you do it better and different next time.
But staying active.
I went for a run last night.
I went to the gym this morning, even though I didn't want to.
You know, we stay active and the rewards will come.
The rewards will come, man, and it's going to come for you and it's going to come for this child.
You may have to do a little bit of extra work now, but this child is going to have a, what if the baby you're going to raise is, she might be the next Lady Gaga, ba.
You know, she might be the next Lady Gaga.
She might be the first female of Vanderhollyfield, baby.
You never know it.
You never know.
So, but that's a great suggestion.
Let's take one more call for Will that came in here.
But right before we get to that, I got to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skillshare.
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You know, if I want a son one day that's fluent in Spanish, I'm going to have to be able to speak some around the house when I have a son, you know.
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And let's get back into the episode.
Let's take this call that came in for Will.
Man, it's funny how many people love you, Will.
A lot of calls came in.
You know, it's funny how many people love somebody that they don't even know or want to care.
Isn't it powerful?
My name's Sidney, and I'm calling in response to Will's phone-in, and I want to share my opinion regarding his situation.
So I'm 18, nearly the age of Will's girlfriend.
I'm also headed to college with plans of being pre-med.
Okay, so she's 18, headed to college with plans of being pre-med onward.
And first of all, I think that while you may feel very overwhelmed and be having self-doubt about how good of a father you'll be, I think your presence in your baby's life and in your girlfriend's life is far more valuable than any sort of financial contribution you could be.
That's really true.
You know, your son ain't going to remember your, the daughter ain't going to remember.
You know, it's funny, like, I don't think back and think about my father and think, oh, man, I wish he'd had this for me or had this for me.
I mean, my favorite thing about my dad, I just remember he put his arm around my neck a couple times, you know?
And, you know?
Or he would tell me that I'm a survivor, you know?
And those are the things that, I mean, hell, my dad used to take money from me.
He used to borrow money from me for my allowance.
And I didn't care about any of that.
You know, I just, all you care about is a child, you just, you know, that you guys are together and that somebody loves you and that they put their arm around your neck sometimes.
Let's onward.
Giving.
And I know you seem to be worried about money.
I understand that's totally reasonable considering babies are expensive.
But I think when that baby's grown up, they aren't really going to remember the amount of money or the material items they have.
They're going to remember their memories with you.
I myself have grown up with my father being absent most of my life and due to substance abuse issues.
And while I'm so happy with my life, I have to say it's the one aspect I'd give anything to change.
And I'm very thankful to have a beautiful, incredible mother.
But as a young girl going into womanhood, I think it would have been so amazing to have a man provide strength and safety to a family.
I'm very thankful to have a beautiful, incredible mother.
But as a young girl going into womanhood, I think it would have been so amazing to have a man provide strength and safety to a family.
Gang.
Oh, and that's what it is.
It's a gang, man.
It's a gang.
It's a gang.
So some great suggestions there, Will.
Thank you, young lady.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, she said, you know, her mother was very, it was amazing, but it would have been nice to have her father there.
You know, and it's the, it's the, and in her life, she will, she will try and have something different for her child.
You know, whenever she has a child, it's like, you know, we just have to learn.
Our generation, we learn from what our experience was, and we hopefully try to make a better experience moving forward.
All right, let's get another call that came in right here.
Hey, yo, Sam from the Jersey Shore.
What's up, Big Sammy, huh?
Big Sammy, Sammy.
Oh, hey, Sam.
And then some people, they say sometime, Uncle Sam, you know?
They say, Uncle Sam wants you.
You're like, who is that, dude?
And it's a pedophile sometimes.
Let's take a call.
Here we go.
Listen up to your new episode.
And you were talking about doing whippets at the restaurant I used to work at.
Oh, yeah.
Praise God, baby.
Shout out Billy Conforto over there, R.I.P.
Man, in Bank Gang, bro.
And we used to do them whippets together and just fill each other's mouths with handfuls of bread pudding, bro.
Gang.
And I used to work at Hopskins Ice Cream growing up in high school, iconic Jersey Shore ice cream shop.
And we would do all the whippets.
We'd order extra cases of whipped cream.
Whippets went down at the Drewsy Shore, at this ice cream shop.
But yeah, just brought back a lot of memories.
A lot of fun times being stupid kids, scooping ice cream, doing whippets.
And yeah, man, have a good one.
All right, man.
Peace.
That's amazing that someone called and just left that voicemail about the whippets, man.
I love that.
That's what's great about the hotline.
Leave whatever you got.
You had a remember about doing a whippets?
Leave it.
Hey, remember?
I used to do them.
Hoskins ice cream.
Shout out to them and the employees over there.
And dude, I can't imagine doing whippets and also getting brain freeze from ice cream.
Now that's some serious seriousness.
I mean, you got to...
You might wake up in China or something.
You might wake up back in your mother's womb.
I mean, if you do whippets and you get a brain freeze and you're wearing sandals, bruh, I mean, you could end up time traveling.
Right there, you could end up time traveling.
Well, you know, sometimes I know how to end the episode and sometimes I don't.
You know, but I feel better than when I started.
So I'm glad I came here today.
And, you know, for one, I quit thinking about myself.
You know, I quit thinking about the situation and about the lady with the damn single mom thing.
And it doesn't really matter.
I agree.
But, you know, I ain't letting nobody bust our funk down.
Fuck!
I ain't letting nobody bust our funk down.
These funk down busters, and I ain't doing that.
So, but you guys be good to yourselves out there.
We got it.
We'll be back on, you know, we're going to keep it cruising, keep it moving.
And we're not going to let anybody ruin our funk.
You know, we're not folding just because some 40-year-old something person doesn't want to start to try and take some responsibility or awareness for themselves.
And also, who knows?
Who knows what happened?
Maybe that bitch got electrocuted or something wild.
Who knows?
You know, but I do know that I think we all know when we're taking advantage of somebody or we're taking advantage of a situation.
And I don't know.
We'll see.
But I feel better.
I feel better after listening to thinking about Will.
I feel better.
I feel more hopeful about his situation.
And it just makes me feel better.
And yeah, just even just a little bit of break from thinking about my own problems and trying to help be a part of a solution for somebody else's.
And I feel better.
You know?
And that's really one of the gifts of existing is just learning that and knowing that when I'm feeling bad, there's a way out of it.
Because if I'm feeling bad, if I start feeling about somebody else, I start helping somebody else feel good, then I'm not even worried about how I'm feeling anymore.
And what a neat gift that is.
Gang, gang, man.
You guys be good to yourselves.
You deserve it.
And what is going on?
I'm coming up in Sacramento, Las Vegas.
We got Oslo, Norway, Memphis, Atlanta.
A lot of shows coming up.
A lot of these dates are already sold out.
That's why I haven't been talking about them.
Thank you to everyone that came out in San Francisco that didn't ruin the weekend.
Because the truth is it was amazing.
We had so many wonderful people come out in couples and diverse as could be, man.
All type of people.
People, you know, people that can read, people that can't, people with darker skin, people with whiter skin, people with no skin.
One guy had his buddy in a little jug of saline solution.
So anything is possible.
You know what I'm saying?
Umbrellas for Shella, son.
We ain't letting them rain on our parade.
You guys be good to yourselves, man.
People are living their dreams, bro.
People are living their dreams, man.
And I ain't going to let them take it away from me, bro.
I ain't going to let them take that away from me, man.
Let's leave out with a little bit of Bishop Gun as requested by them today.
Man, anything you want, we make it.
We make it happen, man.
we do it for each other, gang.
We do it for each other.
Every night looking so righteous, so tight, selling make a day.
Keep your time on your wrist, checking that list, looking to assist with another man's foul to see.
Come on.
So you take another joke, line into a code, do it till you're broke, to escape reality.
You can do it, Will.
We got you, Daddy.
I can hear you saying, that's what I hold you got on me.
Don't make me spend all night alone.
If you just give me what I need, you can have anything you want.
Reminds me a little bit of widespread panic.
I'm 18, had a dream of a big screen, all gone up where the bright lights shine.
But you wound up here 21 years wiping black tears, getting ready for the next in line.
Chief motels, a lot of clock bells, with farewells, it goes on and on and on.
Not to mention, you grab attention, and it calls easy, but for how long?
Oh, but you can't say it.
That's what I hold you got on me.
Don't make me spend all night alone.
If you just give me what I need, you can have anything you want.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, anything you want.
Oh, yeah.
If you just give me what I need, you could have anything you want.
And who knows, maybe that's that guy, maybe that's Will's little daughter reaching out from the not here yet and saying, hey, daddy, if you just give me anything, if you just give me anything I need, if you just give me, if you just give me what I need, that you can have anything you want.
You know?
Maybe that's going to be Will's ticket to freedom to happiness, like that guy from Pontchatula said.
If you just show up for me, that your dreams will come true a thousandfold.
That you'll be opening up for the Rolling Stones.
Now, whether that's what you want to do or whether you just want to be happy, whatever it is, you'll have your version of opening up for the Rolling Stones, man.
Maybe that's his little daughter saying that.
You just give me what I need.
And you can have anything you want.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about it.
But I'm just happy I'm not alone.
I'm happy I'm a part of this group.
Gang, gang, thank you to everybody that came out of San Francisco, man.
It was awesome.
And I'm lucky.
I'm a lucky guy.
Because I'm living out some of my dreams.
And we're just going to continue to make other good things happen.
If you have a single mom you want to submit for Sacramento, we've got a Sacramento coming up.
And you can hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
And yeah, hopefully if they have younger children or something, and we'll see if we can do something special.
We ain't giving up here.
We ain't giving up here.
Hello?
Hey, Vanessa.
Hey, Theo, what's going on?
Not much.
Where are you?
Are you hiding?
I was trying to find a quiet place.
The last place I was in actually echoed.
Oh, no.
Well, I appreciate that.
Are you at work?
Yeah, I'm on my lunch, actually.
Okay, okay.
No, I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming to the show.
I thought it was so sweet of you.
And I just really appreciate it.
Did you have a good time?
Yes, I did.
I mean, I appreciate you for coming out.
Well, that's nice of you to say.
And I know you have a little, do you have a daughter?
What do you have, a little girl?
Yeah, I do.
She's 20 months, so she's like four months away from being two.
Oh, dang.
So she's really living it up.
Yes, she is.
Oh, that's cute.
And who watches her while you're going during the day?
I'm very thankful that my parents are willing to watch her.
You know, her dad tries to be there as well in her life.
He loves her very much, but the most stable is my parents.
Well, that's awesome.
Well, it's great that she has family around and people that care about her.
So you're a single mom?
Yes.
Well, yeah, because we just had like kind of a crazy instance where, not crazy, we just had, we had a single mom that came out last week and, you know, she got real drunk and made like a, like a scene and kind of just.
Yeah, and it was just a bad...
It just wasn't...
And so I was like, you know, we still...
Yeah, I know it can be tough.
You're right, actually.
And you know what?
That's a really good point.
So maybe she just had had a crazy night.
I don't know.
But we just had like a spare.
We didn't get to give her a gift.
That was a thing.
We liked to try and do something nice.
And I was like, you know, I said, Vanessa, I said, I remember, you know, I remember her from San Jose, and I saw her this weekend.
And so that's why I messaged you and asked for your number because, yeah, we just had, you know, we wanted to do something nice.
And so we just wanted to offer just like a nice gift to you so that you could do something fun for your little lady or you and the dad, whatever you want to do.
And we love him too.
He loves you, Theo.
He's the one that put me onto you.
Oh, that's cool.
You're a big, you know, hope for us and the future and for our individual lives.
So I really appreciate the time you do with those podcasts, these shows, and all of your life that you put into it.
You know, I'm always, when Theo's talking about addiction or all the hard stuff, I'm always like, oh, let's see what Theo has to say.
I'm a big psychology major.
So being with my baby daddy, you know, I really wanted to understand as much as I could about him.
And he's an aspiring comedian, too.
Oh, cool.
Whether we're together or not, I would love to support him.
I would love my daughter to look up to a comedian father.
Yeah, that's pretty, I'm sure that they would have a lot of fun together, too.
Yeah.
He writes music.
So there's a lot of potential in that guy.
Oh.
Well, I love that you see that.
You know, I think, yeah, I mean, I just, I love that you're able to see that and even look past some of the things that aren't exactly perfect.
And that's something I needed to do.
Like, yeah, I was kind of upset at the way that things went with this lady that came out.
But the truth is, I don't know what's going on in her life.
I don't know anything.
But I don't want our program to be derailed.
And so instead, yeah, we would like to send you.
Yeah, I don't want to like, we just want to send you like a financial gift, and you guys can do something fun and take her and dad out or something.
And I just wanted to say thank you for your support.
And even just when I met you this past week, you know, the second time, and you just have such a beautiful energy about you.
And, you know, your daughter's going to be very lucky.
And so this is actually, this will be, this is exactly what I needed today.
So thank you.
Oh, thank you.
This is exactly what I needed to finish off my birthday weekend.
Oh, dang.
Yeah.
How old are you?
Boy, I'm one year into 30. Oh, wow.
So you're getting up there.
You that Baskin Robbins girl, 31, huh?
Yeah, but I look like I'm 22. Oh, that's what I said.
I said, she looks about 11 when I saw her.
I said, there might be a crime going on.
This girl looks like about 11. Well, give a hug to your daughter.
Are you guys Latinos or no?
Yes, Latina.
And my daughter is Latina, black, and Caucasian.
Dang, that's that Neapolitana.
Oh, ya sabes.
That's beautiful.
Well, I look forward to meeting her one day and give her dad a hug for me.
And you guys have a good day.
You too, Theo.
Thank you so much.
All right.
Love y'all.
Keep doing you.
Yes, ma'am.
I will.
Bye-bye.
Man.
So, we win this round, boy.
We didn't give up.
We won this round.
I remember that young lady, Vanessa.
I sent her a message.
She has a little girl.
I said, hey, can you give me your phone number?
We called her.
We got the job done, boy.
So, you know, that's the thing.
You can't slip too much or you might miss your gift.
So we're going to do something really nice for her.
We're going to send her $500.
And it doesn't matter how much we're sending or whatever, but, you know, but we win this round, boy.
So we ain't taking no L's on this one, son.
But that's it.
That's it.
And thank you guys for sticking through this one.
And, you know, we learn as we go.
We learn as we go.
I'm going to play that Bishop Gunn song again, dude.
I like that song.
That's quite a hold you got on me.
Don't make me spend all night alone.
All right, let's do it one more time for Bishop Gunn.
And I want to thank Michael for nominating.
He nominated, you know what, lady, he tried his best.
Thank you, Michael.
And I'm sorry if I gave you a hard time.
And I want to say thank you, everybody.
And we don't stop, baby.
You know, not this time.
We ain't taking this L, bro.
We might take the next one, son.
But we ain't taking this one.
And if you take action and you show up, you can have anything you want.
*music*
*music* *music* *music* *music*
*music*
*music* *music* We did it!
Take that, Satan.
Amen.
*thud* you
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
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Longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sweetheart.
Easy to do.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Come on.
I'll take a quarter bottle of jeans to add a bit of glory.
I think Tom Hanks just buttiled me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
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