Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Theo sits down with the talented and hilarious Erik Griffin. Check out Riffin’ with Griffin’ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI9fEg4ZCx6NsOgDpyzmX1Q This episode brought to you by… Skillshare Try 2 months free at https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Brandon Kirkman Carla Huffman Charles Herbst Christian Coyne Christina Peters Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook David Christopher David Smith David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug C Dusty Baker Fast Eddie Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Mariah Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sagar Jha Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Stephen Selph Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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He, you know, him from probably maybe Workaholics.
He has a famous character on there, Montez is the man.
And he also has been in a lot of other series and stuff.
He has a podcast of his own called Riffin with Griffin.
And he's one of a kind.
And he's here today.
My friend, Eric Griffin.
I'll set myself on my eyes.
Shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories.
I'm surprised you don't have Theo water.
Yeah, well, we're looking into it.
We got Gianni.
We just ordered some hydrogen and oxygen for Gianni to mix up for us.
In between his auditions for like big movies.
Is he interning?
What's he doing?
No, he's in here.
He's feeling himself.
You understand?
Like, so much.
Oh, he should be a centipede.
How much he feels himself, bro?
With all the hands he's got.
Unbelievable.
Yeah.
I'm here, man.
Thanks for having me.
You bet, man.
We're happy to have you here, man.
Good to see you today, bro.
Are you?
Yeah.
I don't even know what's going on.
I know.
Nothing's going on.
I know.
What's going on, man?
You look nice.
Well, you know, I said I wanted to wear my good shirt today for you.
Actually, I just did this movie.
I do movies too, Gianni.
And they gave me all the clothes.
Oh, that's good, huh?
Yeah.
So I was like, I'm going to wear that shirt.
Isn't that nice sometimes?
I know.
I know.
But, dude, you know what I did today?
Yesterday is like, I don't know if you follow Eddie Bravo.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so Eddie Bravo.
I have to listen to him in person sometimes, and it's wild.
Okay, he put up this post of this dude.
Okay, so the guy is, I was on his Instagram.
So a guy walks across the street.
He pulls out a gun to rob a dude.
And then the dude cold cocks him, beats him down.
And then now this dude that had the gun is passed out on the ground like this.
Okay.
The dude kicks him in the head like nine times.
I said, I think that's excessive.
I think I was going to shoot him.
I know, but the dude, the guy, now the victim has the gun.
You know, he picked the gun up and he kicked this dude in the head nine times.
I just said, I think that's excessive.
You already won.
Okay.
And then I'm talking about all the comments of these monsters that follow him.
Shoot the man?
Yeah, they're saying like that's street justice.
And you know, all that, but it's still excessive.
It's excessive street justice.
I mean, here's the thing about street justice is it's lawless.
You know, it's not, but there's no referee.
Check it out.
Once it was videotaped, it now has a referee.
Because humanity.
Yeah.
People are now like, because that guy could go to jail.
Like, that's the sad part about how the system works.
Wow.
This, the guy on the ground can actually sue that guy.
He could sue him.
He'd be like, yes, I know I tried to rob him.
But then he punched me and I'm passed out and he kicked me nine times in the head.
And now my neck is, this dude's going to be in court like this.
You know, I can't even move my head now, Your Honor.
You know, and he's going to, he's going to, he can sue that dude.
He can't even move his arms.
He has to put his head on the body.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
He's going to be like, I proverse to tell the truth, the whole truth.
I just, I don't know.
It's just the responses are crazy.
Like, like, I'm crazy.
Everybody's getting on me like I'm like, you know, like, you know, have you ever had your life in danger?
Like, like, what do you, all I said was this shit is excessive.
That's all.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, I think, look, man, I think, well, I'm trying to think.
Say if I walk up on a guy and I have a gun and he beats my ass.
Right.
The next day, I mean, I can't say anything.
Really, I can't say anything.
Like, yeah, in court, I could say something with some bullshit attorneys and a bunch of kind of Muppet shit.
But in reality, if that guy takes anything, cuts off both of us.
If I wake up with no arms and legs, I can't be like, well, dang.
Check it out.
I get you.
But if the cops come to you because they go, hey, we have this on video.
Right, right.
At that point, you're like, okay, well, yeah, I got to say something now.
Let me get something out of this.
Right.
If that's your vibe, if you're like, let me get something out of this, then yes, I agree.
And I'm not saying it's your vibe, but yeah.
Then you do that.
You go and get your deal, you know, get your Christmas, you know, a Christmas.
Let me, let me make that.
There it is right there.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Perfect.
And let me make this point too, by the way.
Is he a black gentleman?
No, no, I think that Well, I'm just saying.
Just getting all the facts.
Oh, wow.
I like the voice of racism coming from the side.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Pow.
He cold knocks him out.
One kick to the head.
Two.
Three.
Well, he's angry.
Four.
Yep.
Five.
Yep.
Oh, that guy's almost like a.
Now he's going to call the cops.
Six.
You get it.
Dude's out.
Dude's gone.
Seven.
Gang, bro.
Okay.
Now he's going to get the gun.
At one time.
Oh, this is like Poirier versus Khabib, man.
He's got the gun.
Now he's cursing at him.
Now, I think he's just filming for Instagram, actually.
He should be.
Nine.
There's eight.
Okay.
Yep.
Nine.
That's too much.
Okay.
Theo, Theo, Theo.
This is what I'm saying, man.
Now he gets his hat.
He gets the dude's hat.
I think you do eight.
Listen.
Wait, wait, wait.
This is my point, okay?
This is my point.
If he would have kicked the dude in the side three times, I'm with it.
But that dude wasn't coming.
How do we know that dude was going to shoot him in the side?
He had the gun.
But he's trying to kick the Satan and put something in a man, okay?
He's trying to kick that out of that man.
Whatever that is in the man's head.
This is the Lord's work.
That's the Lord's work.
But look, man, the Lord is wild.
People think the Lord lives in a library, baby.
The Lord is wild.
This is when your 800 number pops up and people call to donate money.
No, but I'm here.
We're here for the Lord.
Call 888 the oven.
888 the oven.
The Lord works in mysterious ways here on Theo Vaughn's podcast.
No, listen.
If the dude would have broke the guy's hand, if he would have stomped his hand, I'm with It.
You ain't ever going to use his hand to steal again.
Okay, well, let's go back.
Can we watch one more time and see exactly what kind of occurs?
And the gentlemen look a little darker from the video, and it could be grainy footage.
Why do we have to confirm the dude's black or not?
Why does that have to confirm?
Because every video of people fighting on the internet is usually black people, I feel like.
No, that's not true.
There's a lot of white trash out there fighting.
That's true.
It's about 70, 30. Yeah, who's fighting in backyards?
70, 30. That's true.
Who's fighting in backyards?
Is it black people fighting in backyards?
Backyards is white people.
If you want to find the black people fighting footage, you have to look at like those officer, the officer camera footage.
Look at this.
He knocks him out.
Okay, he knocks out.
Okay, one.
That's the stomp.
Okay, I'm with that.
I'm done after that one.
I'm done after four, bro.
You a little hoe, bro.
The stomp kick, I'm done.
The stomp kick, I'm out.
But he don't know how to kick, man.
The guy has a book bag on.
Okay.
Okay, well, he, he, the dude knocked him out, dude.
Does he know he's out?
Maybe the guy's still talking shit.
No, he's not.
This dude's out, man.
This dude's out.
Don't you ever.
Wonder what he's saying.
Don't you ever.
Yeah, that's the one.
Oh, that's the one.
With his in here.
You know what I mean?
The guy can't see.
Now he's out.
Now he's out.
The dude was out.
But the guy might have still been jabbering like, hey, I'm going to shoot you next time.
You don't know.
The problem with a lot of these videos, you don't get audio with them.
But I say this.
What would the audio be, Theo?
Can you be the guy on the ground?
You kick that man.
I think what he's trying to do is.
Go back.
Can you go back?
Not on Instagram.
There's no rewind.
Oh, I'm just saying that dude can fight.
That dude right there.
But the guy thought he couldn't.
No, no, no, I get you.
Listen, the guy's in the wrong.
The guy's a criminal.
He brought a gun to a fist fight.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm saying that dude that punched him, that dude is a fighter.
I mean, that was a solid pow.
And that knockout punch was real.
Okay.
So he, like, good for him.
You know what I mean?
And what I'm saying is if you have that kind of skill, you trained.
You know, that wasn't a lucky punch.
The dude had stance.
He was like ready to go.
He ready to defend himself.
He ready to defend himself.
I can't watch it again.
Okay.
We're not watching it again.
There's 600 replies to Eric's comment.
Yeah.
You should read some of them.
After the second.
These people are monsters.
Well, you commented.
Let's see.
You came in.
This is what I wrote.
After the second kick to the head, this dude is in the wrong now.
Excessive, don't you think?
Wow.
I don't see this as excessive.
I'm not saying the dude deserves it or not.
I'm not saying the dude is in the wrong, bro.
He tried to take this man's life.
No, no, no, okay.
And so what the other man did was he tried to take half of the man's life out of him.
No, but I think he could have taken his life.
Listen, if the dude wanted to take his life, he would have shot him and then took his money off his dead body.
But he came at him with the...
Okay.
I'm with you 100%.
All I'm saying is I'm just saying it's excessive.
I'm saying like there's now video.
The dude is in the wrong.
Yeah, he's in the wrong after the second kick, man.
After the second kick, yes, after the second kick, you already got him down.
Get out of there.
Call the cops.
He's down.
He's never getting up.
You have the gun in your hand.
Okay.
How about this?
I'll push.
I'll step back from the second kick.
He was wrong after the third kick.
The fourth kick on, that's too much.
Eight is when I started to fail.
Because I wait till my heart folds.
When my heart folds, that's when I know I'm dumb.
And I know when the guy's working overtime.
But guess who?
But look at this.
This man was walking to school.
Who brought the anger?
Who brought the violence into the vision here?
Was this other?
Oh, I agree.
So whatever's in that man, that man brought it.
Oh, I know.
He messed with the wrong dude, obviously.
So that dude had to give him a bullet's worth.
How many kicks is in a bullet?
That's what you got to figure out.
Oh my God.
The Lord just left the studio.
Okay, the Lord's gone now.
Look, the Lord works, bro.
Because that guy is never going to do that again, probably.
Oh, yeah.
Who knows?
But that's some of the comments.
Some of the comments, people are like, he made it so he'll never do that again.
Or what if he comes back and kills him and all this stuff?
All I'm saying is people are trying to justify what the guy did.
All I'm saying is that justification just means it was excessive.
That's all.
It's excessive.
It was a lot.
I don't think I would do that.
I don't think I would kick the dude.
How many kicks is in a bullet?
Let's figure it out.
It depends on who's kicking.
Okay.
All right.
If Eddie Bravo was kicking, I guarantee you this.
If that was Eddie Bravo, okay, it would be excessive.
Yeah.
I mean, even.
Okay, I agree with that.
This dude was kicking with a backpack on.
He also looked Indian to me.
Did anybody else get that vibe?
Okay?
He wasn't black.
He didn't look black, so he's definitely lighter than black.
Right, but he's in, you know, he's headed in the kind of a black direction.
So he seemed Indian to me.
All right.
So I'll say this.
Visually, I'm saying he visually.
Now, an Indian leg has very little meat on it.
We've all seen an Indian leg, bro.
If you get hit by an Indian, dude, I could put it.
What if it was Russell Peters?
Russell Peters got a chubby leg, bro.
Nobody thinking Russell got muscle.
His name rhymes with muscle, and I've never once heard it rhyme.
The views expressed by Theo are not the views.
It should be.
His name should be Ristle, because you know what that rhymes with, baby.
Gristle, brother.
Look at him, dude.
Oh, yeah.
He ain't doing nothing.
This is not a good video.
He looks fat here.
Why would you show this video?
Because he looks like he is.
Did you put fat guy boxing?
Is that what you put in?
Yeah, fat Russell Peters boxing.
Oh, man.
That's unfair to him right there.
Unfair to what?
That's him.
How is he unfair to himself?
But no, I love this, Eric.
Man, it's a great thing because you're going to start to think with all of the stuff they keep coming down on police and like, you know, and police are undertrained.
They're not paid well.
I agree.
You're not getting the best people doing, you know, or not, you're getting people that want to do the job, but you're not probably getting like people that have maybe, you know, some of the most experience or the best training or anything like that.
So is that at a certain point, the police, who's even going to go do that job anymore?
You know, what you're saying right now to me is the root of the problem right now.
And I'm so glad you said that, how you're talking about it.
The problem is not necessarily the cops.
The problem started with who are you choosing to be cops?
You know, you're not paying them enough.
It's a dangerous job.
Their whole motto is get home.
Yeah.
Damn, that's crazy.
I don't know if you ever, you ever meet a cop like that.
This is like a real motto.
They're like, just we need to get home.
Make sure you get home.
And I always say, thank God firemen don't feel like that.
Right.
You know, because they get to a burning building with some kids and help.
And they're like, we got to get home.
That looks dangerous.
So sorry.
I hope it works out.
What I'm saying is I feel like the cops should be trained like Navy SEALs.
It should be five years before you're able to be a cop.
You know what I mean?
And you, you know, you're trained, you know, and look, talk to any in-shaped cop.
You know what they can't stand?
Fat cops.
Oh, yeah.
You know?
And those are the ones that They call them.
Those are the ones that cause the most trouble.
Oh, dude, a fat cop.
Dude, look, here's the thing about a fat cop, dude.
You say something to them, they pop off.
Yeah, but I would too.
Listen, if a cop is my size, I totally get why they need a gun.
Yeah.
You know?
You think I'm fighting?
You come at me.
I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Back up.
You know what I mean?
I'm not fighting a, so I get it.
So I just think like, so they're not, and people aren't leaving like Harvard going like, you know, you know what I want to do?
I want to be in law enforcement.
I want to be in law enforcement.
I want to be on there in the front.
No, they're not doing that.
So these are people like they should be, cops aren't paid enough.
They aren't trained enough.
And they're not enough of them.
And if they fix that problem, then the problems that filter down through there are these, these are people out there worried about their life and their safety.
But what I'm saying is the job's dangerous.
You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.
So no, I'm saying, yes, you might get shot.
You might get beat up.
That's the job.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, the job ain't selling shoes, but also you got to put handcuffs on somebody.
Like if doing podcasting, you might get shot, then I'd be like, okay, I get it.
This shit is dangerous.
Theo got to have a gun right here.
Somebody come in and you pop off because people are like, man, podcasting's dangerous.
No.
Now, look, I will say, though, if I pull out my gun and you take it from me and kick me eight times, bro, I'm okay with it.
Okay, I'll say that.
This dude, right?
I would not kick.
See, you know what I'm saying?
No, but I love this conversation.
Let's get back into it.
All I'm saying is I'm not going to kick a dude eight times in the head.
I'm going to kick him in the side.
I'm going to break some ribs.
Oh, you're flirting.
I'm going to break it.
I'm putting the tip in.
In the UFC, that's flirting.
Them boys out there trying to take...
I get it.
But they also, there's a guy there to step in and go like, you're about to kill him.
There was nobody there to tell that guy.
I think that ninth kick to the head, it might have done some real damage.
And yes, I get it.
People would say he deserves it.
I'm just saying, like, damn, are you just that kind of monster?
You know, so I'm not that monster.
Right.
You know?
Okay, look, so let's say if that man had come at you, how do you, how do you, what do you do?
He would have got my wallet.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I'd have been like, here you go.
Don't, you know, get out of here because it's not worth it.
Yeah.
To me, it's not worth it.
You know, I think if that guy was really going to kill somebody, he would have done it.
Like, that's what I'm saying.
He obviously that he just messed with the wrong dude, clearly.
That dude would, that dude was serious.
Like, I'm not a fighter.
You know, I'm a big dude, but I'm not a fighter.
So, yeah, if he was a cop, you'd pull out that piece then.
Oh, yeah.
Saw him off right there.
Dang, bro.
That's it.
I feel you.
But I wouldn't want to be a cop because I know how dangerous that job is.
I wouldn't want to, you know.
Do you feel like people think you're a cop a lot of times, like a plain clothes officer?
No, nobody would think that.
Really?
No.
You think I'm a plain clothes officer?
If I could see you and you're like, yeah, I'm also a cop, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I could see that.
I'm like a, I'm a retired cop.
I would believe that.
I can see you on desk duty a lot.
I'm a dude that, you know, can I help you fill out this paperwork?
You know, I'm that guy.
I'm that guy in the movie.
Or I'd be like Die Hard.
I'd be the dude buying Twinkies at the, you know, and then the thing breaks out and I'm like, you know, we need backup.
You know, I'm doing this all the time.
We need backup.
Do you think, because, you know, obviously, especially in the past couple years, cops have been under attack.
You know, they're always like the, you know, not only are they under attack when they're on their jobs, you know, they're in dangerous environment, like you're saying, but they get, you know, under attack in the media too.
Yeah, I agree.
I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not anti-cop at all.
Yeah.
But I do feel like there's two sides of this and we need to talk about both things.
And one of them is like, this is what they signed up for.
Right.
They didn't, it wasn't, it wasn't government assigned.
Right.
Okay.
They weren't like, you know, they didn't, you didn't get a thing in the mail said, oh, God, I got to be a cop.
And then, oh, man, so I'm scared of certain types of people.
Yeah, it wasn't like publisher clearing out like an old dude shows up with a big thing and says, you a cop now.
Yeah.
That'd be so great, right?
They walk in with a thing.
Guess what, Theo?
You have to be a cop.
You'd be like, what?
I don't want to be a cop.
No, no, these people actually, you know, I had a friend of mine.
Do you have any friends of yours that became cops?
Yep.
I got a friend of mine that is a cop.
I've had two friends that become cops that I remember from high school.
I wouldn't even say they're necessarily friends, but I remember one guy in particular.
I remember him saying, like, you know, one day I'm going to be a cop.
Yeah.
And then, and then, and all these people, they don't know.
You know, you know what I mean?
He had like a, it was like a revenge job.
Oh, wait, I think it is for a lot of people because, well, first of all, in, you know, people that interact with the cops the most, it's poor environment.
You know, I remember the cop, dude, when I was like growing up, the cops were always around.
Like, you know, somebody's always calling them, you know, like people don't know how to communicate as well.
There's not much skill to be able to communicate.
There's no, nobody has their own yard.
Everybody's all kind of mashed together.
So, you know, the more problems arise.
So the cops, people need the cops.
The cops always need to be around.
So then there's a lot of people that have grudges with the cops, you know, so then with authority.
With authority, yes.
In the same way that you are with your parents or your teachers or anybody.
I mean, this is just, that's just, that's, that's, that's the dynamic.
Right.
A lot of people look at cops as like, oh, yeah, they're authority.
Right.
And then some cops also, they get, you know, a lot of cops were people that were troubled or always harassed by cops.
They end up becoming cops.
So now they're like, oh, I'm either going to do the harassing.
We're speaking about motivation Right now, yeah.
Why does someone want to do something?
And I think that that's part of the training process.
You know, it's like when you go to jury duty, right?
And then somebody and they ask questions to you, like, you know, have you ever, whatever?
And then you were somebody that's like, yeah, I don't like police.
Or if you said, I think all black people should go to jail.
If you said something like that, they'd be like, oh, thank you, Mr. Vaughn.
You are excused.
Yeah, and then they let you back out of the world.
It should be when you get to the door, they're like, can we?
You got to go through this six-month program.
Right.
I'm saying they don't, they don't, I don't know if they do that for the cops or not.
If they ask them these kind of questions, I think that when somebody comes in to be a cop, there should be a questionnaire to let you know after you answer these 25 questions, they'll be like, yeah, I don't think this person should be a cop.
I don't think they're doing that because they need cops.
Well, the racial problem, too, I think with cops, cops, so many times cops run into like black neighborhoods or poor neighborhoods, which in America, a lot of them are black neighborhoods, like, you know, especially in cities.
And there's a ton, there's a lot of crime.
There's a crime.
So they get used to showing up and somebody pulls out a gun and shoots their friend.
So I think there's more of a nervous energy when they pull into like a black environment.
I don't think that that's.
Well, here's the thing, though.
Then maybe they shouldn't be pulling into the black environment the way they pulling into the black environment.
Well, what do they do?
Supposed to slowly leave letters and stuff and say they're coming?
Listen, when we're talking about the Army, the Navy, the Marines, they have something called rules of engagement.
Yeah.
And rules of engagement in war, they'll tell them, hey, don't go into that village and shoot anybody because you're going to start an international incident.
Right.
Where the hell are the rules of engagement with the police?
Right.
Like with all this stuff in the news, right?
About this, and then it still was happening.
I was like, damn, is somebody up top mad about this?
Yeah.
Like, you would think there'd be some kind of mandate that came down, like, listen, I don't care what's happening.
You make sure that this is a justified, whatever you did.
Right.
Let's make sure there's no wiggle room or iffiness to it.
And it was still happening.
So I don't know.
I just feel like this is how the cops are structured, how it works.
That's where I think the problem is.
I mean, we need the cops.
You know, the first person that's going to call the cops is the same dude that don't like the cops.
He's going to come home and be like, damn it.
What's wrong?
Somebody robbed us.
Call those pig ass panes.
They still going to call the cops.
So we have to have a better relationship, you know, and not just.
Yeah, I think that's a good point.
Yeah.
Some better relationship.
It's like, is it better training?
Yeah.
What are the rules of engagement?
If you show up to a place and you're a cop and you're, you know, like and you're engaging with somebody, you know, and they're, they don't like at a certain point, you have to, at some point, if it's a criminal, if somebody's committing a criminal act, you have to put, I guess, physical force on, would you just leave at a certain point?
No, no, what I'm saying is this.
And this is, and this might be unpopular, but, you know, it's like, I think that the criminals need to be the ones to shoot first.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I, and listen, I get it, but that's the job.
It's dangerous.
Yeah.
You are dealing with, listen, I remember working at a school and like these gang member dudes came and was messing with some one of the kids.
So like I had to get in the back of the cop car with the kid to go identify him because they caught him, you know?
And I'm in the car listening to the radio and I was like, that's the first time I had like my respect level for cops went up a thousand because it was like on the radio, like, you know, suspect has a machete.
My brother, you know, you know, it's like, it was like all these things were, it was like all this stuff was, I never, I never, I remember that machete.
It was like suspect has a machete and he's like, you know, you know, it cooped up into whatever.
And then it was like 10, 15 of those.
And I was like, damn, it's just these two in this whole area, probably.
Yeah, and imagine they get like anywhere they get out of their car.
That's why they probably get out and look around because they're like, I don't even remember what they just said on the radio.
Dude, if somebody comes running to me with a knife, I'm thinking I'll get out a cake or a steak.
You know what I'm saying?
That's my first thought.
Oh, you got a steak knife?
Hold on.
Let me get this brisket out.
But it's crazy.
He's a loving man.
That's what that is.
A cake or a steak.
I love it.
See, somebody got a big-ass knife and you like, hold on a second.
You like an old grandma.
Hold on, baby.
You got a steak.
Let me go get this cake for you right now.
Hold on.
Let me get this cake.
Let me get that handle engraved for you.
Nah, man, but I just.
But isn't it interesting, though?
It's kind of fascinating.
It's like there's a lot of levels to it.
It's like, you know, cops show up into places that are violent, right?
Or places where there has been called that there's something violent happening.
Yeah.
You know, so they're on alert, right?
There's probably a lot of people that once they get there that are like, oh, fuck the cops that aren't like, don't want to pay attention, don't want to listen, don't want to like engage with the cops at all, which probably sets them in more of a fearful mindset.
Not to mention that they don't have probably a ton of training.
Dude, I remember I went to a place in Tocoa, Georgia one time where they train officers.
And it was like this simulation room.
They're like, okay, you go in there, right?
They have a screen that comes on and it plays like 50 different options of when you get called into a scenario.
So you get called in, like it was all types of scenarios.
One of them was a classroom.
You get called in.
There's six people in class.
Somebody's smoking a joint in the back of the classroom, right?
It's like a college.
And it looks like that on the screen.
You go in and you can talk to the screen and the people would engage back with you.
So it was really, and then also in the corners of the room, they have weapons that are loaded with these paintballs, but that are plastic, right?
And so if some of the scenarios, you get fucking shot at, right?
Yeah, but here's my thing.
Right.
And here's, I know why they do that kind of stuff.
Because this reminds me of that scene in Men in Black, you know, where it was a little girl with the physics book.
That's the one he shot.
He had his justification.
What I'm saying is you can't just walk in the room because you think the black dude in the back smoking a joint, well, he's the one.
Maybe he got glaucoma.
Right.
Maybe he got like, you know, a terminal cancer and this is what he has to do.
But you don't know that by just coming in.
You can't just judge a book by its cover.
Right.
No, I agree with that.
Yeah, I'm not saying that.
And then Tan Bundy, Ted Bundy's over here looking all cute.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You know what I'm saying?
You coming in like, yo, you trying to holler because you see Ted Bundy, and then he's the one that wants to eat your fucking, you know, liver.
You know what I'm saying?
So.
Yeah, he got his little spice rat in his butt.
You go get a steak, you know?
It was just interesting, even in this thing, and not even like, I don't even remember like if any of the students, I can't remember what if there were different races or anything on the students, right?
But it was interesting to think, like, okay, one kid is going to cough, right?
One kid is going to, you know, somebody comes in the door in the back, like, somebody just comes in the door to drop off notes for the teacher.
Like, there was just so many little things.
You were like, one kid reaches for his bag.
Now they play it three times on the video, and the kid just pulls a book out, but one time he pulls a gun out.
It's just like, man, how much was going on?
That seems to me like it trains people to go, whoever's reaching for shit needs to die.
It's dangerous, right?
Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
And that's why they do that.
What kind of training is that?
But there's also, at a certain point, what more training can you even have?
That's why you have certain, again, rules.
Like a magician.
What if the dude's just a magician?
Yeah, you know?
A fucking dove comes up.
What you doing with that white dove?
I don't know, man.
I just feel like maybe then you shouldn't come in the classroom like that.
Maybe it should be a thing where you're like, everybody hold your hands up.
Right.
You know?
But, you know, I had a cop friend, and I'm not going to say too much about this person, but he would tell me about like, you know, sometimes as cops, you in the bad neighborhoods, you get to know some of the kids, and some of them need beatings.
Right.
Like, some of them need like, you know, why you in this, why did you do this again?
Yeah.
You know, maybe a quick gut punch to this kid, you know.
Oh, there was a kid growing up in my neighborhood, and he was just a, I'm sure bad stuff had happened to him, you know, but he also, he ruined every, he ruined so many people's lives on a daily basis, man.
Right.
I'm not saying that cops should have done anything to him, but I wouldn't have.
It was a couple kids like that, probably, you know, that really needed some discipline.
They needed some discipline.
That's all.
They needed some discipline.
So they're not getting it at home.
They're not getting it at school.
And they're running around with guns and they're running around with drugs and they're running around just, you know, fucking people up at a certain point.
But we're talking about the deterioration of society in poor neighborhoods.
That's basically what we're saying.
Because by the way, what you're talking about is if you can Google YouTube, so many incidents of like, you know, sort of wealthy people dealing with the cops and it's a whole different experience.
And they're saying things that they shouldn't say and they're just going off, you know?
Yeah.
Oh, I agree.
Yeah, I've been pulled over before.
Yeah.
And I guess it was scary.
I can imagine, though, it is scary if you're a black guy.
I can imagine that it is like I can imagine it is scarier.
I could imagine that for sure.
But I think there's a bad...
I just want to get this.
We're always paying for the previous generation shit.
Yes.
And it never ends, man.
it's like you know like so like you know i think why sometimes you have more problems or more stuff in black neighborhood you have more poverty right and so you're gonna have more do when you when people don't have things there's more crime there's more trouble there's more not trouble but there's just more you know uh there's more i don't even want to say it's negativity but there's Yeah, there's more malcontent.
Thank you, Nick.
That's great.
There's more issues that go on, right?
There's more people struggling to survive.
And the byproduct of that sometimes is crime.
The byproduct of that, it sometimes is, you know, like communication that's not like super, you know, it's vague, you know.
So I think you get cops that go into enough of these areas and after a while, they get programmed negatively.
You know, they get negative programming.
They get like, okay, I went to this area four times and every time somebody shot their friend or something.
And so now when they even pull up for a fucking, you know, somebody's cat is in a tree.
They're like, well, somebody's, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'm about to kill all this cat's friends so nobody kills this.
You know, it's just, I think there's like a lot of negative programming.
But then the reason that that's even in that neighborhood is because, you know, these, because people didn't have an opportunity two generations.
It's just like we're always behind the, I don't know how we catch up, you know?
Well, I mean, I hear what you're saying, but like, I don't know if you ever watch cops.
Oh, yeah, I watch it.
Sometimes it hurts my feelings.
I know, but what I'm trying to say is there's a lot of white people on cops.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's a lot, like, there's more white people on welfare in the country than white people than minorities.
Right.
Because just per capita, there's just more white people in the United States.
There's a lot of poor white people.
Yeah.
And cops go into those areas too.
Yeah.
You know, it's just for some reason we're not hearing about the unarmed white kid getting shot.
And it's probably happening, but we're not hearing about it.
Right.
We don't hear it.
Yeah.
The news doesn't choose to make that a thing because it doesn't.
That's a good point.
You don't hear that as much.
And also, I think black culture has more of a black culture is more, they have more, they're more excited about guns, bro.
They're basically, they're kind of like Navy, you know, they.
I wouldn't say that because when I'm looking at, you know, I'm looking at cops and I see, you know.
That's a good point.
I'm just saying it's like, I'm just like, the perception that you have is that, because you've said quite a few times now about the urban areas and black areas and that kind of stuff.
And I'm just saying, like, there's a lot of like those trailer parks and all that kind of stuff.
They got guns too.
They got guns too.
It's a good point.
There's meth.
There's that, you know, there's a lot of poor white people in the country doing a lot of bad stuff.
But it's for some reason.
So the perception against cops is that they only are treating black people this way and black people deserve to be treated this way.
That's the perception.
And we have to like crash all that down and just look at like, because like, look, when I was a kid, I first started driving.
And you're black and white.
So just for our listeners.
Yeah.
I'm very mixed.
Are you definitely mixed?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm mixed.
So it's like.
Can you say the N-word at home or not?
Yeah.
That's crazy, man.
Look at you.
He wants to be able to say it so bad.
But only in, can you only say it in certain rooms at your house or can you say it anyway?
It is what it is.
I don't like even talking about what I am because I think people want to know what you are so they can know how to hate you.
Right.
So they can know what box to put you in.
Do you feel that way about me sometimes?
I know I joke around about that stuff sometimes.
I just think it's like a time and place.
You know what I mean?
We're comics.
I know you.
And it's like we have like a, you know, a push.
There's like, there's a level that we want to push the envelope.
You know, so it's like, that's such a word that polarizes people so much that it's like, is it even necessary?
Yeah.
Because even I find myself in certain situations where I'm like, ah, this is, I'm going to leave this one out.
But I have certain jokes on stage where I feel like, oh, this is a good time to say this.
Right.
For effect, a certain kind of effect.
Then there's other times that my thought is like, maybe we should just get rid of it, you know, because, just because of the conversation that it brings up.
It's like, oh, let's just, let's just get rid of it.
It's not even worth saying it it's not even worth it yeah just because of all this stuff you know what i mean it's like oh you know but yeah it's like if it hurts enough people's feelings or if it even if yeah yeah you just kind of go okay maybe especially if like you're you're saying it a certain way and then if it makes people like question oh what is that about then you're like oh was it even worth it yeah you know so i i mean i don't know i mean it's just i always find like i don't like when like when i've seen like uh upper echelon white comics find a witty way to put this in their act yeah and i see that and
i go okay if it makes me think about that moment i'm not in the act anymore because i'm just thinking about like oh you crafted that really nicely just so you could say nigga that's why you did it you'd be in secretive yeah and i'm just like i don't think it's i don't i don't believe that it's necessary all the time you know what i mean so i don't know but like i say it's all perception no i love it man i love the fact you're always able to think about uh you know i always feel like you you do a good job of incorporating a lot of this a lot of like stuff common
thoughts or things that are going on in in the social world and stuff like that like you do a great job of incorporating your act more than anybody i know i feel like a lot of people i appreciate that but i'm trying to that's just my experience right but you do a constant job like i always know like whenever you get up there there's gonna be something that's kind of a hot topic that you're gonna it may go well or it may not you know i just think that all these things that go on the world going on in the world it just makes us more thoughtful about what we're talking about because i don't want to not talk about these things right like i don't want to be censored
so i have to say to myself how can i still talk about these things and then get my the joke across make people laugh or make people get my point that means i have to be way more thoughtful about how i craft my words how i act things out so people go oh i totally get that if you don't if you don't that's our job yeah you know what i mean so like the me too movement and all the racial divide that stuff has made us be more thoughtful i don't want i agree i don't want to not talk about women they're hilarious they're 51
of the population yeah so we're supposed to just not talk about all the craziness ain't that hilarious i'll be honest with you dude i'm talking about the things that they do somebody's been hurt who hurt you some of these bitches just keep saying they're hilarious and people start believing them but no what i feel like we have to have a quota i mean i'm just i get so tired of like that that that tweets to the comedy store lineup where the women on the lineup yeah where does that end because then people where the indians yeah where the mexicans
at where the we it can go on and on and on you got to be funny yeah but everybody needs an opportunity well then bust your ass and get that opportunity yeah you telling me that richard prominent this he was 20 uh eddie murphy so this is some of the funniest men that ever have ever existed and they're both and they're black men you you want to talk about uh george lopez is a hilarious entertaining man yeah you know um i'm trying to think even if you go you know like uh i mean the list could go on it's just about who's fun you know paula poundstone
joan rivers one of the funniest humans i feel like that's ever existed that's a jewish woman eddie murphy just signed his 70 million dollar netflix deal a couple days ago yeah for a new special damn that means i i hit up adam about that i was like so i should expect to get bumped by eddie murphy at the comedy store pretty soon i hope so it's gonna be great my dream is to bring him on stage right don't you want to do that i know like everybody you know we get so excited delirious barely hills cop trade in place just go through this whole but then it starts getting bad i know oh
then there was so good bro norbit oh norbit oh god guys he has it hasn't been good lately uh no man but i want to go back to something you said a minute ago man because it really had me thinking so yeah in my mind a lot of times i get and i don't know if it's that the media gets me like that or what it is i think like you don't think that how many poor white neighborhoods have just as many guns as poor black neighborhoods you know i never i never really like if you'd asked me like oh do these do people have guns yeah but for
some reason in my perception it could just be the my own personal history doing some dangerous white folks when you was coming up yeah dude i was thinking about this yesterday man i uh because i went and did this no jumper podcast that they have and that guy you know he and so we talked about a lot of stuff on there and i was thinking like yeah i was just as i was scared when i was growing up i was scared of like i was scared of like angry black kids and i was scared of kind of real redneck white kids those
were the two groups that really that i was constantly in fear of and it was it was really equal both ways because i just didn't know some of them seemed so in with their own vibes that it's like they it was just a risky place for me and it all could have just been my own fear maybe there was nothing to be scared of right right right um but like you say perception is you know i listen i remember being in montana i first i've told this story before but i've been i was in montana i was doing uh you know the chili triple no not triple runs
back in the day and i'm in miles montana which is like way north you know yeah and it's just like it's that kind of town they call it yeah yeah it's that kind of town definitely the walmart's the biggest thing in the town yeah so i'm doing my act you know what i mean it's me and this other white comic you know they only sell white paint yeah yeah like damn they had to check my passport when i came into town like isn't this america what's going on here you know but i remember how much bacon you got on your buddy i remember after the show this white guy walks up to me he's
a little drunk you know what i mean he had that look and he said hey man you want to fight you know and i was like damn no you know what i mean and he might have been homosexual because a lot of gay men they don't know how to get into it they figure we'll punch each other enough to be tired enough to lay down really i'm gonna fight somebody be like you want to cuddle bro that's aggressive i don't know what kind of fights you've been in see that dude that kicked the dude in the head that's what he should have done he should have laid down next to the dude you know and snuggled on his neck and spooned him don't you be robbing people dumbass
what you doing out here with your little bullets your punk ass bullets put the gun in his mouth how that feel but anyway well this got weird um So the guy says to me, He's like, You want to fight?
No, man.
I'm trying to diffuse it.
Because now I'm starting to look around and I'm realizing I'm by myself.
It's me and this white comic, and we're in a white town in Montana.
Like, literally, anything could happen to me right now.
So I'm not trying to be that dude that's like, get off me, fool.
You know, I'm like, everybody's going to be like, trying to be, yeah.
Yeah.
The whole bar stops and looks.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, trying to be Harvey Chalk.
Right.
You know what I mean?
So, so then the guy says to me, go, he go, I try to diffuse.
I say, where you from, man?
You know, hey, you know, he's like, right, right.
He goes, I've had to do that before.
I hate that.
Don't you hate that when you have to pander for your own safety?
That's what I was like.
I like that.
I hate that.
So I say to the dude, where you from, man?
You know, why are you here?
You know, he goes, that's most of my life.
Man, it's so funny you said it.
Go on.
But this is what he said.
I'm going to tell you what he said because you want to hear that.
He goes, he goes, I'm from New York.
I said, New York, what are you doing here?
This is the exact words.
To get away from the niggers.
Damn.
With the E-R-S on it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Strong.
Could have been a Z with the set of the S, but no, he had the S on it.
Okay.
It was strong.
And so I looked at him.
Wow.
And so he's saying that just to get a rise out of you.
He's seeing how you're going to react.
Yeah.
So I went like this.
I said, well, good job.
Looks like you did it.
You know, and then I was like, okay, good job, man.
And then I just, I walked away, you know, because I was like, oh, wow, this is like, this is, this is real.
Yeah.
This is real.
And I have in my, my sheltered life, you know, middle class upbringing, you know, going to Catholic school, I haven't experienced too much of this stuff, man.
I actually have had great experiences with the cops.
You know, when I was a teenager, I started driving.
I literally got pulled over and got out of my car.
I got out of my car and started walking towards the cop car like, hey, guys, because I thought, what, is everything okay?
You know, but I could tell that these two cops, thankfully, were trained.
And they looked at me like, oh, this, he just stupid.
Yeah.
You know, and they, and they, they took me off to the side like, yeah, and they didn't even give me a ticket or anything, you know, but they were like, all right, they can assess.
Like, they were like, this guy's not a danger.
Right.
Okay.
But anyway, so I go tell the headliner because I was featuring at the time for triple.
I was just starting.
It was literally my first time going on the road.
And I tell the headline, this white guy, you know, I say, man, let me tell you what this guy just said because I'm laughing in my head.
And he goes, what?
Where is he?
Let's go talk to this guy.
And I'm like, hey, hey, we ain't going to talk.
Why are you mad?
You know what I mean?
What are you mad about?
I'm not mad.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
You know what I mean?
Let's leave, bro.
What are you going to do?
You going to go over there?
Because I don't got your back.
I don't got your back right now.
He going to turn around and be like, me and my boy, Eric.
Eric.
Cut to me running down the street towards the travel lodge.
You know what I mean?
Like, what the fuck the fuck are you?
What are you doing, dude?
Shit is a nightmare.
But anyways, I don't know.
It's just, that's just the perception that we have.
If we could just talk about it, you know, because here's the issue too.
It's like, I can tell as a white guy that you take some offense to always hearing about like that, oh, it's the white cops going after the black kids or, you know, it's like white people are always racist, white people are always wrong.
And it's like, that's a, it's a weird place to be in because I think that we, that's what happened with like, with me too.
Right.
It turns into like where all men are wrong.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm lumped in with like, so once a man, but see, that's their, they, they have lived through things.
Right.
So they've lived through things and they've had these experiences.
So maybe their guard is up and maybe they have to look at men and hey, you don't understand how it is for me.
So that's just, that's how we all need to start talking about how do you feel about this, Dio?
How do I feel about it?
How do the cops feel about it?
You know what I mean?
And it's like, and then, and then the criminals, we got to, you know, they're still human beings.
Yeah.
You know, that is, I don't need to get kicked in the head nine times.
True.
That's all.
Stop at eight, bro.
If they roll with a gun, stop at eight.
No, I think, look, man, it's, it's definitely like, yeah, I love it when people, you know, we got to be able to think and feel around each other, you know?
And a lot of times.
And we don't have to agree.
Yeah.
And people don't want it.
And people don't.
I feel like that's one thing about podcasting is it's like it's a place where we can try our best, you know, to at least, you know, discuss stuff or think about things.
Yeah, that's all.
We don't got the, I agree with you, 100.
Man, I sold it.
We don't got the answers.
We're just talking about it right now.
And even if you disagree with me, even if you're like, even if you think like, yo, man, you need to get more informed or whatever it is like that, I'm trying to.
That's why we're talking about this.
Yeah, and our perceptions of things will be different.
But yeah, I mean, I did, I mean, I have felt like, yeah, like poor white people get under attack, you know, and like, and that there's no voice for them.
I mean, especially in Hollywood also.
I feel like, you know, that's a good point.
I don't know, man.
That guy's a rich white person.
Yeah, but the poor white people gravitated like, yes, he's going to get us together.
We talked to him.
Nobody talked to him in 20 years.
And the other candidate was all like, you know, you're deplorable for locking this guy.
You can't, you go, wait, wait.
You're going to criticize me and then ask for my vote?
Bitch, please.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Get out of here.
And it is interesting.
It's like we kind of, at some point, we just have to think like, you know, that poor people, I don't care what color they are, man.
I never looked, like, I always related to if somebody was struggling, you know, if somebody was having a tough time.
I felt like I've always was in tune if somebody was struggling.
And I didn't care what color they were.
I never looked at like, you know, like my black friends or mixed friends when I was growing up and be like, oh, man, like, you know, their feelings don't matter.
Or if somebody was sharing any of their feelings, like, I was always more in tune to that than I really was anything else.
You know, you always have, you have that great joke about that, too, though, about the black friends talking about you took all our stuff and you're like, where is it?
We live on the same street.
You know what I mean?
I just told you.
And then here's the crazy part.
Now I added an ending to that joke where it's like somebody else has both of our shit.
Right.
They got your shit and they got my shit.
They're watching us fight over it.
I used to have this thing about like how, like, I still have.
You have a great joke about the fart in the elevator, which is one of my favorite ones, man.
But I had this thing about like talking about, you know, like, I still have friends who are Like a little older than me, that they come from an era where every white person was the man.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's that era.
You know, if you're like 40 and up, that's the kind of racism where you're like, oh, you, oh, you, you, you out there doing that podcast with the man, huh?
Like, if I would tell those kids, I'd be like, yeah, I'm coming to, I'm going to do Theo Vance.
Oh, you, oh, you talk, you're going to sit with the man, huh?
That kind of shit.
You know what I mean?
You sit with the man.
And my thing is always like, listen, if you on the bus with a white guy, he's not the man.
That's true.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if next to your, if at work, there's a white dude next to your cubicle.
Yeah.
That's not the man.
The man has changed.
I think that this era of some, this era of white people, they're upset that they lost their chance to be the man.
Oh, yeah.
Now, I can see some of that.
There's like some jealousy of like the, you know, of the era before.
We're like, damn, I never got to be racist like that.
I got to love these.
I love these people.
But that thing you're saying about the elevator is exactly.
It's like.
Yeah, you have a joke, and I'm going to paraphrase it.
I know you're right here, but it's like you walk, it's like you walk into an elevator, somebody farted in there before you, like a generation before you, and people still blaming like you farted.
Yeah, that's why I say, I say, yeah, I say like, this is how white people now, current young white people feel about racism.
It's like being in an elevator where somebody already farted.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And then the elevator opens up and there's some black people coming in and you're like, I didn't do that.
That fart has been here.
That fart has been here for generations.
So it's like, I get that sentiment.
But if you look at sports, sports is an example of like how long it takes for society to change.
Just look at basketball.
It was all white.
Right.
Okay.
How long ago was that?
Probably 50 years.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
50 years.
And then they let black people play.
All right.
And then they let black people coach.
And now black people be general managers.
And now cut to 50, 60, 70 years later, we have one black owner.
Right.
It takes time.
It takes time.
It's going to take 100 years to change society, maybe.
We probably won't be alive to see where people don't care about race at all.
You know what I mean?
Because the aliens will be here and then we'll have a different fight.
Dude, a black buddy of mine told me that he heard that aliens don't like black people.
I was like, dude, you don't.
You were like, well.
I mean, not all black people, but I mean, it's just the ones.
Wait, just the ones that are unlikable.
No, there was this great HBO show.
It was like a Twilight Zone type thing.
I think it was HBO, but it was like the aliens came and the aliens put out a message saying, like, give us all your black people.
And if you do, we will.
I've never heard anything like that.
We will.
It's just a show.
Okay.
He hasn't heard it.
And it was like, we'll clean the air.
You know, whoa, whoa, you know.
Are they trying to trade?
Yeah, right.
And so then it was like, what would society do?
And it's like, of course, in the end of the show, it's black people getting on ships.
Black people getting on ships and then like, you know, they taken away.
You know what I mean?
Damn.
Yeah.
It's just like, what would you do in that situation?
But I think no matter what they said, give us your fat girls.
You know what I mean?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, whoever it is.
But like when people make things like that, they always frame it as like race.
You know, it's like, I'm tired of it, but it is what it is.
Yeah, I think it's, I do think a lot of it is just time.
And the media, they know it's people, most people know it's going to take time, but the news and their shit is, they want us to go to war.
If you're at war, if people are fighting, bro.
That's something to talk about.
Like, I think...
And it feels to me in reality, even when I'm at the comedy store now than eight years ago when I got there.
It's more, there's more diversity.
There's more people running.
Is there?
I think so.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
I think so.
I think next time you look at the lineup, if you start to count, you might be like...
Is Chris Tucker calling and putting his avails in every week?
You know, like our...
But see, why does it have to be...
Why does...
Here's my point about...
And this is the pushback.
The other side is that, you know, why does like...
He does.
Well, he does, actually.
But I'm saying, like, if you look at like Netflix specials, for instance, okay, why does the guys that get Netflix specials have to be either the ethnic people got to be international superstars?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Fuck off.
Or they got to be the most famous black people in America.
But then like Joe Schmo, white guy, he's going to let me the opportunity to be mediocre.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's all I'm saying.
Dude, look, I'll be mediocre on Netflix.
Like a lot of, like, like half the white motherfuckers that got specials on Netflix, I want to be just as mediocre as them.
I know.
Give me that opportunity.
You know what I mean?
But I have to be like at the top of my game.
I got to be like, you know what I mean?
Why?
And you are better looking.
And it's even some of the ladies, you better looking female than half the ladies that gave them to out there, bro.
I know you were male, but I'm just saying.
But look, I'm not going to look at me like that.
I never.
You the one with the bitch hair.
You would have got a perm comb at home.
What you talking about?
If you could do like that, I don't want to hear you.
If you can give it a little.
Oh, shit.
My hair is luscious today.
Damn, it's crazy out.
Oh, it's already 8. April?
If you hit it with that.
If you look like you a white chick in a black video, you know what I mean?
a rapper's video.
If your hair is just put It's like, she's my kid.
I don't know.
But it's also interesting, man.
I think shit, everything, you know, like race makes things also exciting, bro.
Like, it's fun.
It makes things exciting, dude.
If everybody was the same, it'd all be boring, bro.
It's nice to have, you know, you got a little bit of, you know, that people are different.
It's all going to end up probably in a hodgepodge porridge down the road.
We're all going to start looking like meat.
Or it's going to be a war.
Yeah, there'll be some crazy wars that start.
but I think the wars next time wouldn't be based on like people won't team up based on like their ethnicities and stuff like that.
Next time, they'll team up more based on not even their religious beliefs, but just what they believe in, maybe in their hearts and stuff as humans.
Well, religion's still there.
That's that's still religion's still a huge part of it.
You know, I think economics are going to be the reason why we go to war.
Water, you know, it's going to be things like that.
It's going to be resources are going to be probably the next fight.
Yeah.
You know, then what do you do?
Like, you know, it's like the half.
We're already in a haves and have-nots situation right now.
I agree.
It's more of that than anything else.
Yeah.
It's interesting, man.
But also, it's like, yeah, this is our life.
This is it.
You know, and it's, yeah, it's like this is it.
This is the time we got put into in existence.
Like, this is what's going on.
I know we're going to look back and be like, damn, why was I so worried about that instead of living?
I know.
We just got to live.
Go on vacations.
Like, meet people.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I just think that if you hate somebody, if you took the opportunity of this person you think you hate for whatever reason it is, if you took the time to be like, hey, what's up?
Like, tell me about you.
Right.
Like, what's going on in your world?
Yeah.
You'd be surprised.
You know, I don't know if you know who Larry Elder is.
Yeah, he's going to come on here.
Oh, that's great.
You know what?
Larry Elder, I was looking at this.
It's not a documentary, but he was like this interview thing that he did.
And he's like this conservative black political talk show host type guy.
But he's got a hard stance against black people.
He wants black people to, you know, stop making excuses.
Stop with your victim mentality and all that stuff.
Right.
And, you know, I used to be like, whoa, dude, a little harsh.
What's going on?
But then I heard his story.
You know, the story about his father, how hard it was for his dad and what his dad did and how they didn't talk for 10 years and how he pushed them to be better and all this stuff.
And I understood that his experience framed how he feels about the world.
And I think that if we took the time to find out people's experience first and then find out why they feel the way they feel, then we can make a judgment on what we feel about them.
But we just jump quickly to like racism or calling somebody like that an Uncle Tom or, you know, we jump to those conclusions too fast.
And I just think that we need to take some time to really communicate.
And you would think that in the social media world that we now have access to be able to talk to people more frequently and more directly.
You would think that we'd be able to try to do that.
But instead, that thing is being used as like a way of spewing hatred and single-mindedness and closed-mindedness.
And it's just like, it's a shame to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's crazy how people can be that way online and not that.
But the truth is some of them aren't even that way in person.
Oh, they for sure aren't that way in person.
A lot of cowards out there.
You're a coward, most of you.
And a lot of the, like, one thing that podcasting doesn't do, which I think is something that separates it as a news source even than the regular news media, is they don't use tweets and that kind of thing.
Like, they'll look at them sometimes, but they don't use that as like the basis for an article.
Right, right.
Like two or three people with no even avatar said something.
I know.
So now suddenly, you know, Tom Brady can't take his daughter on a vacation or something.
You know, like it's just.
Well, Twitter's not as popular as you really think it is.
But first of all, that's only like the coastal, like these elite cities.
Where it's also just fucktards that aren't even working, bro.
Like they have a lot of people that aren't even doing anything and just sitting there tweeting.
and they just sitting there causing a ruckus.
You know, you got people have, Oh, my God.
Bitch die.
Okay.
Bitch die.
And you got rich people that are fucking rich-tarted, bro.
That's what I call it, dude.
You got fucking like share and you got like.
Share is rich-tarted?
Yeah, dude.
Yelling at everybody, how to control the border, how to do this and that.
We don't live there.
You know, I have some ideas maybe of what I think, you know, a good idea, but what's it like for people that live right there?
You're a billionaire.
You know what I'm saying?
Build a bridge to your fucking joint.
Yeah, and you ain't living in a place where the door is to the street.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I mean, when you live in like that, then talk to me about security.
Brian Callen has that thing about that.
It's like, that's why you have locks on your door.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, the whole border thing is like, again, it's like it's an issue that is like layered that this is the result of not taking care of business.
Agreed.
So this is where we are now.
Okay.
So what do we do by this now?
Because nobody wants to definitively say, because even these like pansy liberal fucks are not going to be like, they're not going to say out loud, just let everybody in.
Just let them all in.
Just let them in.
They're not saying that.
They're implying it.
Right.
It's a lot of implications because it makes them feel justified.
Right.
Oh, I feel that I'm virtue signaling right now when I, you know, oh, yeah.
Oh, look at the kids in cages and all this kind of stuff.
I don't know what's going on with that.
I mean, like, I hope that that's not like continuing, you know, but it's like, hey, so like in the same way that you say it was street justice, this dude with the gun getting kicked in the head nine times, if you breaking the law, you sneaking across illegally.
With your kid, then, yeah, that's the thing.
You brought danger, you brought the kid, and now we have to now take care of your kid, take care of you, treat you like, you know, treat you, put you up at the holiday inn.
What are we supposed to do?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So that's like, that's what that's what those people think.
That's how they think about it.
And cages, you could read, I mean, you could say camps.
You could say, there's never going to be a comfortable term, but it's not like somebody's just going to show up and build, you know, if you want to help out, Chelsea Handler, go down there and build, you know, 700 Hampton Inns right on the border.
You know what I'm saying?
Do you affect it?
Do something.
All those people, they have plenty of rooms in their houses.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what?
That's what we'll do.
Hey, liberal Hollywood elite that are complaining about how the kids are being treated on the border, open up your homes.
And let's let two or three families stay in your big house and help them out.
I think it would be great.
To cut to those people being like, well, since you're here, the gardening equipment.
I know.
Nope.
It's over there.
Wouldn't it be a great video?
You send one of those families to one of those rich people's doors and they're going to think they're there to work.
Exactly.
Wouldn't that be a great sketch, bro?
Dude, that would be a great sketch, dude.
Well, we'll do it.
Let's do it.
Dude, you and me should do a sketch show, man.
Remember when we weren't as famous?
Now you're like, you know, you're not famous.
But you're knocking on Rogan's door right now.
No, we are alarming.
All we're doing is alarming people around the country, dude.
With fucking mediocre comedy.
I know, but with our powers combined, that's cool.
We look like a lesbian couple.
Yeah, we got to get.
Why am I lesbian all of a sudden?
Bro, you daddy.
Oh, my God.
You the other side of it.
I'm the other side of it.
Yeah, dude.
I'm the wild one, and you have the one that has your shit put together.
Eric, you look like a kind of like a softball coach.
You look like a woman's softball coach.
Oh, now I'm a softball coach because on my podcast, I was the help.
Remember?
Remember, I was a butler when you said before, right?
Gianni raises, man.
Nick, what did you help us out here?
I watched.
It was a bellhop specifically, not butler.
Not the CBS.
Fine line.
You know what?
I'm glad to be here to see the source.
This is the source right now.
This is like the Matrix, and you the white dude in the fucking suit.
And I'm here like you're telling me the truth right now.
I'm going back to Zion.
Do you think that race is...
Oh, for sure.
People are just...
I think some people are tribal.
I think there's like a certain, like what racism really is, is to have power over people and use that power to keep people back.
I agree.
Not everybody's doing that.
Right.
And I don't think a lot of people are doing that.
Right.
Do you think they are?
I don't think a lot of people.
It's still happening, man.
Obviously.
I think in another two generations, even that probably won't be happening.
I think it's some of it is stuff that's ingrained in people a little bit.
Some of it comes from bad experiences they might have had.
But you're talking about prejudice.
Okay.
Being prejudiced is different from being racist.
And I think a lot of people are prejudiced.
Right.
You know, they have their, they have things about them.
They have their prejudices.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Short people might be like, I don't like tall people.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Chicks with no money.
I don't like young guys that are, you know, caring and loving.
You know?
I want that old man with that bread.
I'm just saying.
Dude, look, nobody thinking you and your grandma, let me tell you this, all these thoughts out here in L.A., all right?
All these sugar babies, all right?
Nobody thinking you and your granddaddy going to sushi every week, okay?
Nobody buying that you and pop pop having a little sasham, bro.
In defense of that, okay.
Not everybody is in a situation like that for that reason.
Like, how old are you?
We're in our mid-40s, okay?
Right.
A lot of the women are trying to survive.
No, not to forget the women.
These guys in their mid-40s who are not married, no kids.
Let's say you still want to have a kid, right?
Who are you going to get with?
Who's the relationship you're going to start?
You ain't going to start with somebody your age.
That's like going to the pound and getting a three-legged dog.
You know what I mean?
You don't start with a three-legged dog.
If you have a dog and it loses its leg, you keep it because you love it.
You know, you're not getting rid of it.
But you ain't open it with the three-legged dog.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, yeah.
You're going to fucking get that little beach.
You're getting that, you know, that well-bred.
That's true.
You're going to the puppy meal.
You know what I mean?
Whatever that shit is.
I'm just saying, like, it's not all situations of an older guy and younger woman is all what the perception of it is.
You're right.
It's just a matter of biology, too.
You know what I mean?
If you're somebody that doesn't want to have kids anymore, you decided, I don't want to be a dad, I don't think I want to have kids, or maybe I'll adopt, then you could open up your spectrum of like who you could date.
Then yes, you could find a nice woman, you know, in her late 30s, early 40s, and you like, because they're beautiful.
They're out there.
They got money.
They're taking care of business.
They know what they want in bed.
They know how to act.
They got the hair.
Yeah, their place is clean.
Yeah, their place is clean.
All that kind of stuff.
They got their thoughts in order.
They know who they are.
They got a dream journal by the bed.
You know what I'm saying?
They got their vision board that's in the closet that never got fulfilled.
You know what I mean?
It's like they know these are, those are vibrant, beautiful women.
But like, if you're somebody that's like, well, I still want to have kids, you know, and I'm not saying a 40-year-old woman can't have a healthy kid, but like if we're talking about starting a relationship, it's going to be risky.
He's going to be risky.
But I'm saying is if I start dating you, I got to talk about that day one.
Oh, you're 40?
You want to have a baby?
Let's go do it.
And then, you know, maybe you, maybe I want three kids.
And if that's the case, then you got to start.
Especially if she got a little cooler by the table with her eggs in it.
A lot of these girls ain't got that little igloo cooler with their family.
How do you feel about that?
So what if you met a woman, she 38?
Well, first of all, my dad was 70 when I was born, so I know he was trying to have a second family, which I really should.
That's what I'm saying.
He was just trying to – he probably was still – How old was your mom?
My mom was 32 when I was born.
So he was still trying to probably have a fan.
Yeah, he just wanted to have more kids.
He wanted to be alive.
No money.
He just had game, huh?
Dude, my dad, the best thing, man, one of the best things about him, he bought a car off a couple of brothers that lived in a neighborhood next door and had these 22s in the back, right?
And he couldn't even hear.
So he'd be rolling around, bro, listening to NPR with the craziest bass you've ever heard, bro.
Just pull hard.
Good day.
It was insane, dude.
People looking at us like, what?
Do you want to be an old dad?
You know, I don't think so.
But then sometimes the crazy part is I have such a tough time.
Well, now you're going to be.
We're already, it's too late.
We're going to be old dads.
No, but I'm talking, you're going to go double old, bro.
That's my dad went double old.
But when your kid is 20 and you like, you know, like right now, if we had kids.
I'll be 59 when my kid's 20. That's what I'm saying.
We're going to be old.
You know what I mean?
That old, bro.
It's old.
Okay.
Do you think it's old?
Gianni's like 14 or something.
It's not that old.
Like my dad's like 55, so it's like kind of in the same.
Yeah, but how many brothers?
You're Italian.
You got like 18 brothers and sisters.
Yeah, two brothers.
Two of your cousins are fucking right now.
You know what I mean?
It's that kind of...
Yeah, remembering the Godfather?
Who they fuck?
I got to see some of the deleted scene.
No.
Godfather 3. They were cousins.
59's not that old, but I don't see you having a kid in the next year.
So we're probably looking at about five more years.
Damn.
I'll take Nixon for you.
Are you in a relationship?
No.
Exactly.
So you're not in a relationship.
It's going to take a couple years before you decide it's time to have a kid.
So you're going to be in your 45. 45. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I could see myself in five years having a child.
So Nixon, it's a good call.
Got to interrupt this episode.
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And now let's get back to the episode with Mr. Eric Griffin.
Yeah, man.
What do you think about this?
Let's get into real quick this James Davis thing that went down.
Oh, what?
The girl with the young lady had a tweet making fun of Extensions, the rapper, that got...
Extension?
Extension, yeah.
And that remote, yeah.
James Davis, but that's not the girl.
But the girl came out and made a joke.
Oh.
Oh, so James Davis tweeted her about something.
No, he called, James Davis called out the girl because he was the one that made the joke.
She was the one that made the joke.
Right.
Okay, I know.
I know the joke.
I've seen the bit.
Did you think it was all right?
I got it.
But you know what that joke is like?
What we were talking about earlier about saying the N-word.
Right.
It's one of those things where it's like, is this necessary?
Is it really that funny?
Right.
Because the structure of the joke, I get it.
It's hilarious.
The point of the joke is funny.
I don't know if she executed it the way, like, I bet you if I said it, it wouldn't have gotten that kind of thing.
Right.
But so that's important, too, about what you look like.
So there's this meek little white girl who's making this, you know, in that kind of smug, liberal way.
Throwing a young deceased mixed boy under the bus.
You know what I mean?
Or mixed young man.
Just the way she looks.
that needed to be part of But again, I get the joke.
I'm not mad at her for making the joke.
I get the joke, and I think the structure of the joke is sound.
I think that it could have been funnier than the way she did it.
Because I get what she was trying to say.
Instead of like, it's not, the joke ain't about him.
That's what people need to understand.
The joke's not about him or even making fun of him.
The joke is about carrying around $50,000.
That's the joke.
The joke is like, you know, instead of carrying around $50,000, you know, use Venmo.
That's funny.
And so the fact that the guy was killed because of the money is a way of emphasizing that he, I'm just intellectualizing the joke right now.
But I'm not saying that she just didn't execute it in a way that it was like super funny.
Well, it shows you how young people, I think, to me, it feels like a millennial generation got more upset about this probably because they attach everything just to the person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like more of the me culture.
Oh, they don't, what I'm saying, they don't think.
Right.
They don't think they hear, they just heard his name, and that means it's inappropriate.
It's inappropriate.
He's dead.
And you're making fun of him and you're doing all this stuff.
It's like, no.
She was making fun of people carrying around a lot of cash.
Right.
Use the Venmo app.
And she used him as an example.
Exactly.
Right.
But it just wasn't executed in a way that was super funny.
Right.
Should we play it for the audience?
Yeah, let's play it.
Is anyone still mourning XXXTentacion?
He's a rapper who was murdered.
He's dead now.
He was shot.
He was on his way to buy a car with $50,000 in cash, and somebody shot him and took the money, which is very tragic.
But I think also it would be a very good Venmo commercial.
I mean, that's the joke.
Yeah.
That's pretty funny.
I mean, that's what I'm saying.
It's unfortunate the guy died.
It is.
But it's like if you tell a joke with JFK in it, bro, he's dead.
Exactly.
It's like people frame this into this thing, too, about like, it becomes racial.
It becomes like, you know, it becomes about this white girl.
She's not even white.
She's Indian.
Yeah, but yeah, but she looks white enough to me.
But also, okay, so she's Indian.
Wait, wait, wait.
Who knows that?
Who's going to know that?
Like, if she wanted to look Indian, she'd look Indian.
Okay.
So I don't want to hear that.
If I close my eyes, what do I hear?
I hear a white girl.
Okay.
And that's what people around the country that they don't know.
They don't even know her name.
And then you add that element to it.
So what is that supposed to mean?
And that's why I say people want to know what you are so they can know how to hate you.
Like I'm all for her not saying, like, she shouldn't say what she is or anything.
It's like, no, I'm just a person making a funny joke.
Right.
You know?
I think she should, if I were her, I would go even further into this.
I double down.
I would do that.
I would be dirt.
Double down.
I would be the dirt with Dina Hasham, and she makes jokes that are just completely no holds bars.
That's exactly what I would do.
And she would have a career for herself.
Yes, she was.
She could be the next.
Who was the big lady that got skinned that lost?
Paula Bell.
No.
The big lady that got thin, thin.
Paula Bell.
Okay.
She did the roast.
Lisa Lampinell.
Oh, that's who I'm at.
Lisa Lampanelle.
Dude, once she lost all that weight, where's she at?
Yeah.
She disappeared, bro.
What?
Twice.
I don't know.
She's like baby Jessica, bro.
She fucking fell off the face of the earth, bro.
So what did James Davis say?
He was just like the first one that kind of brought the joke to light and was like, this is wrong and made a big stir about it.
And everybody was criticizing him for attacking another comic.
I agree with that, though.
And he could just like James.
Yeah, I like James Davis.
I like James too, but I feel like this is one of these things where it's like, this is like one of those things.
It's like, what are we doing right now?
I mean, if we're going to, like, if I'm going to criticize her at all, it's going to be like, well, because I'm not a fan of this type of comedy.
This kind of like slow, you know, where like, yeah, that's boring to me.
I wouldn't want to see that for an hour.
She's a writer.
Yeah.
But it's a well-crafted joke.
I mean, kudos, you know, but it's just like, that's that kind of smug shit that Comedy Central wants to put, you know, you have to watch that for a half hour and be like, you're supposed to be like, oh, is this going to be the next?
Like, yeah.
Like funny is not a thing anymore.
Like for some reason, it's not important to be funny or entertaining.
Like, is that entertaining?
Like, like, that's the kind of joke where you see it and you're supposed to go like this.
Well done.
Oh, well done, my dear.
You know, that's not, I want to be like, ah, good one.
I want people to be like, if you perform it.
I'm going to enjoy myself.
If you perform it in a certain way, people are going to be like, that's fucked up.
Yeah.
But they appreciated what you did.
That was just more for the shock value.
Yeah, she's a right.
The way it was presented, I'm saying.
But I ain't mad at her.
I'm just telling you, no.
What's her name?
Dina Hasham.
Dina Hasham.
I'm putting it out there to you.
You did all right.
Keep doing you.
Yeah.
You know, that's the chances we have to take.
Yeah.
And also, yeah.
And James, I mean, I've heard from people in meetings.
I've heard from people just on the street that James Davis is hard to work with.
I've heard that repeatedly that the young man's hard to work with.
Do you know him?
Huh?
Get him on the podcast.
Yeah, I'd love to have him come on.
I'm just saying that I've heard that.
I'm not saying that he's a bad guy.
I'm not saying that he's not funny.
I'm just saying that I've heard that.
I just wonder.
People are starting to say that about you now.
They are.
I can believe it.
I believe it.
But I'll say this.
You believe it.
I can believe it.
Yeah.
You know who Theo is now now?
Theo's the guy now on stage complaining about it's too loud in the hallway.
Yeah.
That's how I knew you changed.
That's when you changed.
Well, the place also, Comedy Store.
No, you changed, Theo.
You changed.
Two years ago, that wouldn't have been a thing to you.
You would have just powered through.
Now you up there like the whole loud out there, dog.
You bougie motherfucker.
What happened to you?
Bro, I'll say that.
What happened to you?
Comedy store used to, it used to be a lot.
It used to run a lot more smoother, I think.
It's gotten chaotic out there, bro.
Last night, dude, Joey Diaz on stage, the mic's fucking shit the whole time, dude.
It was shit before he went up there.
And it's like, y'all letting this man be up there with that shitty mic?
Well, that's something they got to take.
That's a technical issue.
But every time the technician drive, he's out back smoking dope every second.
He's the technician.
He ain't in charge of the technique.
He's fucking sitting there right by the thing.
You think he work at Radio Shack on the off days?
I think he knows how to work all the equipment.
Oh, God.
See what I'm saying?
You changed.
Well, I'm just saying, bro.
Now they got a stool over there where the guy by the window, he used to stand up and work.
Now he's sitting over there milling around, bro.
Hey, I got attacked at the comedy store years ago.
So I get, I mean, I'm just saying stuff has been going on for a long time, so I don't know what to tell you.
But like, yeah, I think you should have James on.
I don't know why he did that.
I just, you know, I just.
I would never, I don't know if I would ever come out against a joke and be like, this is wrong.
Right.
Exactly what I'm saying, too.
Like, where's my mindset then?
Yeah, because then it's like, who's allowed to say what?
That's not the business we're in.
We are not in the business of censorship.
Right.
We're in the business of taking chances.
And sometimes when you take those chances, they're going to go too far and it's going to be pushed back like Kathy Griffin.
Yeah.
That was a terrible joke.
Oh, she's it was terrible.
And she's now bounced back.
She's talking.
She made a documentary about everything that's happened to her.
She's got a new special coming out.
So that's what we have to do.
Where's the special on?
I don't know.
It's probably going to be Netflix or something like that.
I'm not sure.
But they have like a, what I'm saying is there's a pushback after, but don't be coming out talking about what someone can or cannot say.
My criticism is technique.
You know what I mean?
Right.
But like, I get the structure.
Yeah, if somebody had a joke, I would never be like, oh, I might think to myself, oh, I don't like that joke or whatever.
Exactly.
That's how I feel about things.
I go, I didn't like that.
That's not my cup of tea.
That's how I look at stuff.
I don't ever, I'm just never like, I just go, man, I don't, I wouldn't have said it like that.
That's all it is.
You know, I still try to enjoy people.
Most of the time, I don't ever even comment on it.
We don't even usually talk about this stuff.
I just thought it would be interesting.
Yeah, you brought it up, you know.
Yeah, well, I just know everybody's been talking about it recently, so I thought it would be interesting.
But again, it's one of those things that's going to blow up.
We're going to think about together.
It's going to blow up.
Oh, bro.
Nobody cares.
We won't even put the clip up.
It's so blown over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who's it?
These people have got shit to say to me?
Yep, these are people that Nick.
Oh, they all white?
Huh?
Dude, if you see him as that, I see this man.
I can't even tell what color he is.
This could be a woman.
This is what I always say about things.
He don't see color.
He only sees white people.
That's hilarious, right?
That is an interesting statement.
Here's a question from Steven.
What's up, EG and TV?
Hope it's going well.
Stephen from Daytona Beach, Florida here.
Oh, what up, Steve?
Just got a couple questions.
Eric Griffin, I'm wondering if you've ever had any formal singing training because you actually sound like a really good singer.
And second question, could you guys do a little improv singing sesh?
This guy's high as f ⁇ ing.
That guy's high.
Okay.
They're all high.
It seems like it.
You want to do a little We Are the World?
What you got?
What's your favorite song?
We did We Are the World the other night on stage.
Oh, you did?
We had the dude Damn Longneck was out.
Have you seen him on Instagram?
So.
Damn Long?
And he came on stage and we had a group.
We got some diversity up there and we did it.
He sang we are the world, man.
You got some diversity up there?
I love how you always recognize.
Look at all this diversity.
I do.
Everybody's always talking about it.
See, you have some feelings about it.
I like how you have feelings about it.
I said, look, let's make it happen.
Part of me feels like you want to be like, why can't it be white?
Is it okay to just be white sometimes?
This is your black hat, dude.
Black hat.
No, no, I'm saying it to you.
I'm always an issue.
Black people have an issue with anything.
Black people be in heaven and be like, what the fuck is going on up here in heaven, man?
Yeah, because I'm sure up in heaven, it's going to not be the right stuff.
The movie choice is going to be all white.
Oh my God.
What is this?
That's Michael.
That's damn long, man.
No, this is him?
Yeah.
You had him on stage?
Yeah, he came up.
Wow.
We're second cousins, actually.
This is a long story.
This is you.
Like, if you were locked in a bunker with no food for like, like, it was like, you thought the zombie apocalypse was about to start?
Yeah.
You went into your bunker, but then you didn't have enough food.
And this is after they found you, like, a year later, you've been living off like spam, but there's just one can left.
And then they found you, and you come out, you're like, ah.
Just teaching roaches to do circus trips.
Yeah, you got roaches tray.
They doing like, you know, they doing fucking cabaret.
What, um, was there a question that came in, too?
Yeah, we got.
We got another.
We didn't do the song.
Oh, we did a song for the song.
Thank you for the singing compliment.
You know, we on the oven with Theo Von.
I'm trying to think of a song I could even sing, man.
I'm trying to think of a song that you like.
Are you a country guy?
Huh?
I like all kinds of music, man.
Don't pigeonhole me.
Oh, yeah.
It don't have to be a diversity song.
I see you liking a lot of church music.
Church music.
Yeah.
This little light of mine.
Yes.
I'm going to let it shine.
This little light of mine.
I can see you.
I'm going to let it shine.
I can do the fat black girl part.
Oh, I can see you being like kind of the fat black girl that maybe, you know, is kind of getting her shit back together, you know?
And I'm singing at church.
I can see you at church, maybe like on 227, one of the side characters.
227 reference.
Bro, how good was 227?
This is my dude right here.
People don't know about 227.
It's underrated.
How come we are not on a sitcom?
We should still be cops or something.
Do we want to be on a sitcom, though?
That's how much money he's making, y'all, out here.
You hear him bragging about the money in the Theo Vaughn compound I'm in right now.
He literally got the Simpsons person to come and draw this.
That's how much money he got.
We got orange people in here, bro.
Saying we're all orange, bro.
Beige power, dog.
Is this your diversity?
Yeah, this is it, man.
Everybody's orange.
I like it.
No, not everybody's orange.
Bill Burr's wife, black as hell, and me.
That's the diversity.
That's the choice y'all wanted, bro.
So this is considered white in here.
Oh, there's another black person right there.
There's Charlemagne the Gat.
Yep, that's Charlemagne the Guy.
This question comes from Josh.
He's looking for some advice from both of you.
Oh, Theo, Eric.
Hope the podcast is going well.
I have a question for you both.
And it is, what's a good way to, you know, discover new things in terms of like a career path?
Or things that you might be interested in that you haven't really found yet?
Because I work a warehouse job and I see my boss and it's just this wicked fat guy kind of missing almost all of his hair.
And I hope he doesn't watch Diels podcast.
I don't want to be doing that when I'm older.
So, you know, I guess I just need some advice on how to find something that I'm more passionate about.
Okay, cut to his boss bringing him in the office.
Hey, come on in.
I just wanted a little work assessment.
And then he turns on this.
So am I the fat?
And then they have a real conversation together finally for the first time.
Exactly.
And they start a business together.
Boom.
I think what you can do, buddy, what's the guy's name?
Josh.
Josh, I think what you should do is, you know, figure out what moves you, what you're passionate about, and then like stay in your car, drive Uber and Lyft for a little while to make money, to make ends meet while you're going to, you know, that two-year program to be a dentist or whatever it is that you want to do, you have to do it.
Most people don't do what they want to do out of fear.
You haven't left that job because you're scared, because you're worried about the things that you have in your life.
You're a slave to your possessions.
You're a slave to your rent or that girlfriend that you don't really love.
Figure out what you want to do in your life and then go out and do it.
And then you find your happiness.
That's what you have to do.
Yeah, I think, look, there's some good suggestions, man.
If you're at the warehouse and you got the big boss, dude, I think what I would do is I used to work at a warehouse, man.
I didn't mind it.
I like some of the smells and the peacefulness of just the products sitting there behind the scenes, knowing they were about to go on the big stage out front, you know?
Big stage?
You clearly were robbing the place, too.
How much stuff did you take home with you?
How many boxes did you open up and been like, oh, shit, is this olive oil?
Dude, I will say this.
So one time when I worked at the grocery, I stole a gross of baby food, bro.
144 jars.
Were you out on the streets?
You have a jacket?
Like, you need this baby food?
Oh, nah, bro.
You need them peas?
You need them carrots?
Are you eating baby food?
Yeah, dude, I tell you this, bro.
Oh, here we go.
Here's how you know you're not a pedophile, dude.
After two or three jars, I was over it, man.
Okay.
I don't know if that's how pedophilia works, but.
But you know, because here's the thing.
If you're a pedophile, you're going to be cracking into those jars forever, you know, trying to have a meet, you know, taking somebody out to dinner or whatever.
I just knew after three jars, I was like, fuck all of this, man.
But here's what I would say, man.
Yeah, I would have a little bit of a game plan.
Yeah.
And you'll move when you're ready, man.
When you're really, really ready to make a move.
When it's enough.
Yeah.
But don't wait till you have to snap on the fat boss.
So don't wait till like you're so unhappy.
That's true.
You're so unhappy that you make a bad choice.
Set yourself up.
Start saving that warehouse money job.
So you just save it.
Save the money.
Figure it out.
This is my plan.
Get a vision board, bro.
Yep.
Have a plan because I will agree.
Sometimes you build up resentments.
Like sometimes I won't want to say something.
I won't want to talk to somebody about something.
Then it's been two weeks.
Now I'm angry at them.
I'm angry at me that I'm afraid to make the call.
And then finally, when I do make the call or have the conversation, it all goes away.
It took 30 seconds.
Everything was cool.
And now everybody's quiet in the hallway.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Now everybody's quiet in the hallway.
So I would say just take it easy, bro.
Take it easy.
Have a little bit of a plan and be sure that you want to, man.
Maybe you are happy and it's just part of you telling yourself that you're not happy.
You might work there for the next 20 years and really enjoy it.
Yeah, enjoy exactly.
Like he's, he has his own judgment on this job that he's doing.
He has his own expectations that he's not doing.
I loved working, man.
I love when I worked at a behind the scenes at the Dell Champs, bro.
I'd be back there at night stacking, dude.
We used to stack as much toilet tissue as high as we could, bro.
We could get to almost 11 rolls one time, one on top of the next.
Just having fun in there.
Bro, we had so much fun, dude.
And people would sleep on top of the stuff and people would, you know, we had so much time.
We'd be back there all night driving to forklift and doing forklift jousting, bro.
And just.
What company is this?
I don't ever.
This is Dell Champs, and they went out of business.
I wonder why.
I wonder why Dell Champs is gone.
Sounds like a great company with good hiring practices.
I used to clock in for work and go home and come back and clock out, bro.
The worst.
This is.
But look, that was teamwork, man.
Is that the only two questions we got?
No, there's some more.
Oh, okay.
That was teamwork.
Teamwork, make the dream work?
But yeah, man, I would have a little plan or just find out if you enjoy what you're doing.
You might enjoy it.
Sometimes there's all these, especially listening to podcasts, a lot of guys and a lot, you know, will say like, oh, you should, like, sometimes we might enjoy what we are doing, you know?
But I wouldn't build up any resentment if you're not.
And I would have a plan if you're going to make a move.
Yes.
Because, dude, that's how a lot of people with opioids and stuff start.
You get a couple weeks out of work, you're chilling, and that's when you're like, oh, fuck, I'll have a pill, bro.
And then you're chilling for the rest of your life.
And then you feel like the only way out is a life of crime.
Yep.
It's like girls that think like, you know, the only way I have to, you know, sell my body or I have to, it's like, damn.
Yeah.
Then what are, you know, there's people working at McDonald's.
They're not, you know, there's jobs.
Yeah.
And every job should be, if you want it to be, should be a mean to the next thing, you know, if you have that vision, you know?
Find a career instead of a job.
But that's the hard part.
Right.
And some people's career could be a family.
Your career might be a family.
The job must just might be a side thing that you do because you like being a husband or you like being a dad or you like being a live-at-home son, you know?
A lot of sons living at home till 50 now.
Have you seen how hard it is out here on these streets?
Oh, trust me, man.
Believe me, I don't want to pay the rent I'm paying.
I wish I was at home.
Really?
Yeah.
But your family lives in France, don't they?
France.
No, my mom, my mom and my stepdad just moved back from Spain.
Oh, wow.
They actually live back in California now.
Wow.
So I'm like, I'm eyeing that second bedroom.
I feel you.
What's your stepdad like?
He's a cool dude.
Really nice dude.
He's a brilliant salt of the earth type of guy.
I always say that he's going to get my mom into heaven.
Oh, nice.
She's going to be his plus one.
Yeah.
That's it.
You know what I mean?
He's going to get to the gate.
She's going to be like, I got a guest.
Oh, shit.
They brought Miss Griffin.
Yeah, man.
What did your mom do?
I feel like that'd be a great name for a teacher, Miss Griffin.
I don't know.
She was like, she worked at, before she retired, she worked in like health and safety.
So she was a health and safety specialist.
Are you kind of, do you get a lot of your sense of humor from your mom, right?
Yeah, yeah.
My mom's very, yeah, my mom's.
Well, she thinks she, just like me, she thinks she's funnier than she is.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So she like, yeah, she'll, you know, because my mom right now I'm dealing with my mom has dementia.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So I'm dealing with that right now.
You know, like if she sees this, she's going to be like, I don't got dementia.
You know, she's right now she's yelling at the camera.
And then she'll say it again a half hour later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's crazy.
But like, other, but like, she's still sarcastic.
She's still got a sense of humor.
Like, we're in the doctor's office talking to the doctor about this.
And I'm saying things.
And she's like, he's adopted.
She's just, you know, making a joke.
You know what I mean?
So she's like very funny.
You know, like every time we talk about this, and my mom goes, she goes, oh, Eric, oh, where am I?
Who am I?
You know, she makes the joke like that.
Oh, dementia.
Yeah.
She's making a joke about it.
And I go, oh, that's funny, ma.
Tell me where you are.
She don't know.
She said the wrong place.
She still thinks she's in Spain.
That's what she said to the doctor.
She told the doctor, oh, I'm in Spain.
Is it kind of scary to see that?
It is, but at the same time, at the same time, it's like, this is the new baseline.
So I'm not going to like, I can't be sitting around being like, oh my God, my mom has, you know, I just go, let me just enjoy what we had.
Cause she still, it's crazy because dementia is that kind of thing where like everything's fine except for like these two things.
Right.
You know, and these two things are like part of their reality.
So you just have to go with it.
You know, that's the hard part.
I'm talking about it on stage because that's how I'd, you know, relieve all my stress or anxiety about it.
But I'm really not like super depressed about it.
I'm just kind of like, okay, we're just going to deal with it and just move forward.
Yeah.
Does she talk to you about it like on a personal level like that she's scared about it?
No, because she doesn't, my mom's very stubborn.
So she doesn't even realize it.
She doesn't, she knows something's up.
And I think she knows more than she wants to let on.
Right.
But it's better to say like, you know, it's like for her to be like, like, she thinks her grandmother's house is 10 minutes away, like a walk, you know?
And instead of like being like, maybe I'm wrong.
No, no, no.
It's, she's adamant, you know?
And she's like, get in the car.
We're going to get in the car.
We driving around 45 minutes.
She don't know where the hell it is.
Yeah.
But she's saying, if I could just find the river, I'm like, there ain't no river around here.
You know what I mean?
After a while, I was getting upset.
It's like, where the river at?
Show me the river.
I open up the map.
Put me in the water.
You know what I mean?
And we were right back at church.
They're all like, cry me a river.
You could go out and just.
Dude, you know they put some black stem cells in the Justin Timberlake.
Let's be honest.
Here we go.
I've heard this.
I'm not joking, man.
A lot of black dudes have said that.
First of all, if they could do that, all you honkies would be doing that.
But we can't afford them, bro.
You can afford them, man.
You can't afford them.
You don't even want to be on TV.
That could be a stem cell research room right over there, man.
That's your stem cells.
But we can't afford the good, good stuff from Egypt.
And that's what they said.
Is it Egypt?
Bro, I'm just saying, a couple black guys I talked to at a pizza place one time at night told me.
Because that's where science is done.
at that pizza place, that's where the world problems are solved.
I'm saying that they told me.
There's a secret lab in Egypt.
They heard me that they heard that Justin Timberlake got black stem cells.
Do you believe it?
No.
That's not a thing.
I swear to God, man.
Yeah, but that's not a thing.
Well, Flat Earth wasn't a thing.
And I'll tell you this.
About five years ago, I was at a Burger King and a black gentleman told me this true story.
Oh, another Earth.
About Flat Earth.
Another intellectual hotbed.
Well, I'm just saying.
I'll say it like this.
The Burger King bathroom.
But they always got the scoop.
You know, they got the word on the street, man.
And he told me flat.
He goes, look, man, I'm going to tell you, the Earth ain't round, bro.
And I thought he was crazy, dude.
40 minutes later, I thought he was maybe crazy.
And then three years later, flat Earth is a huge thing.
No, it's not a huge thing.
Flat Earth.
It's not a huge thing.
Huge, man.
There's documentaries about it.
We don't know where we are right now.
You know?
And this is where the podcast goes off the rails.
We already had our Sam Tripoli episode, so we're good with the Flat Earth.
Yeah.
But are you hearing anything like that?
You just let him talk whenever he wants?
We try not to.
We shouldn't have.
I don't think Sam Tripoli is a Flat Earther, really.
No, he's not.
But this motherfucker should raise his hand like we at school.
I agree.
I agree.
I don't want him just talking out of turn like that.
Bro, look, tell me about it.
He's about to be in that show, Power.
Oh, he's in power.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're putting, and he won't stop.
He tells us about it every day.
He's been on it, though.
He loves being the white guy around.
Oh, tell me about it, dude.
He said, I told, I said, look, bro, if you're doing two seasons of power, you can have a mixed kid in a year.
Yeah.
Does he date?
You date black women?
Yeah, I do.
No, you don't.
Yeah, I do.
He just said his publicist just texted him.
Make sure you say yes to that.
His publicist, by the way, fawn.
Is she?
Have you seen her?
Oh, Cassandra?
Cassandra.
I met her.
Yeah, Cassandra's dope.
Some girl holla.
I met her the other day.
What else we got, Nicholas?
You want some news?
Some more questions?
Yeah, let's get in a little bit of news, man.
We got Eric Griffin, one of the funniest guys, man.
Dude, I love watching you.
I feel like I love watching you too, though.
I love watching each other.
We both like watching each other.
Oh, this coming to America?
Adrian Peterson is reportedly in serious debt after making over $100 million in his career, the highest paid running back of all time.
He's being sued for failure to pay a $5.2 million loan and owes almost $10 million to multiple different creditors.
And that $5.2 million loan was just to cover other loans.
Obviously, this is what credit are the zoo of fucking Washington, D.C. Zoo.
Look at him, as you can see the picture.
This is why he's broke.
This is bad decisions right here.
This is how you can't just give anybody $100 million and think they don't know what to do with it.
I mean, you ever seen that 30 for 30 about all the broke NFL players?
This is why.
That's why they broke.
They're doing dumb shit like that.
How much is a camel?
Can you look up how much it is to rent a camel?
Yeah.
And that documentary was called Actually Just Broke, too.
There you go.
And the picture is in this.
He bought the camel.
Is Adrian Peterson on top of a camel, yeah?
Or it could be a sick horse or something.
Can we, is there any other pictures of it?
Yeah.
Let's see.
That's just ridiculous.
That's why I'm not.
Where is a guy like that going to get $50 million?
You know?
A camel costs about $55,000.
Okay.
So you can afford a camel if you're him.
That's half a guess it's three running plays.
What are you talking about?
The upkeep of that camel, too, though.
You got to have a camel guy.
You don't just have a camel in the backyard.
Roman or something.
We don't know anything about that, do we?
This picture was specifically from either his birthday party or his kid's birthday party, just right in the midst of the whole hitting his kid with a switch thing.
And he chose to be photographed like this.
I'll say this.
The media probably cost him a lot of lawyer money.
I bet that cost him $10 million to get that.
That's what I'm saying.
But I'm saying you're a guy that you were a running back.
That's your skill.
Unless he goes into broadcasting, how's he going to make that money?
Those creditors, they're done.
They're stupid.
He's never going to get this money back.
Well, he's never going to get the money.
And also, you know, sometimes it just takes a generation.
Sometimes it's a generation or two.
There's always people like there's a timeline of things.
There's a learning curve.
Some people, like, you know, your dad has to make certain mistakes so you don't make them.
You know, like his son may become one of the best hedge fund managers.
You just don't know.
But sometimes there's like a, you know, like maybe this is, he's the first person in his family that ever had any money.
You know what I'm saying?
There's no influence.
People don't get.
Because anytime you go in, let's get that, get the camel.
Can you give me a camel?
Get that camel.
But the camel, I guess, could stay in the yard with dogs, right?
They don't need water or anything, right?
No, they do need water.
See, this is what I'm saying.
You need a camel guy.
That guy's on retainer.
So there's money for that.
That's going to be $30,000 a year.
Yeah, I'm saying the camel costs money.
I'm just saying when you, you know what?
Everybody should live as a comic for five years.
Then they learn how to be frugal.
That's a good point.
Because I learned, you know, you learn how to like.
Dude, I remember using a butcher knife to try to put two packets of mayonnaise into the tuna can and switch.
That's what I'm saying, man.
We learn how to be broke.
We know how to be broke.
So I'm just saying that's the kind of guy.
He was poor or whatever.
I don't know his story.
But he just, how about this?
Beautiful man, though.
He dumb.
Dude, what a physique on him.
I mean, dude, I am.
Adonis.
He's dumb, though.
A real Adonis.
He could do modeling.
He could do senior modeling.
He's not 75, dude.
I'm just saying, bro.
And he still has one good year.
So he's going to be running out of debt this year.
I mean, look at him, Mike.
Christ, bro.
Damn.
Hey, that's a man right there.
That's a thought, boy.
Look at these fucking.
I want those stem cells.
That's what I'm telling you.
That's what he should do.
He should sell his stem cells.
You don't think Justin Timberlake got a couple APs in him?
Can we talk?
For a minute?
Yeah.
Girl, I want to know your name and if I am.
I can just change songs on this.
You know what this is like?
For 1995, get Theo singing all the classics.
I mean, you're then little just like you man that was a good time you remember when the bodyguard soundtrack hit where were you bro where three places I knew where I was 9-11 when the bodyguard soundtrack came out and now that I've been on the oven remember that bro god
damn she just now they now they now they selling like tours doing it now they selling tours to her you know to the the bathtub now oh yeah and her son died in the bathtub too man it's basically just like a little narnia it's like at the closet in that line the witch in the wardrobe that thing becoming a real halfway house in houston that's the death tub because even her daughter died it's crazy little scrunchies or whatever the daughter's name was she but the boy the boy seemed like i don't know man you get caught up in the drugs but
it's crazy you see how the mother and then it went into the kids and bobby's still out there getting up sad it's sad did you ever see their show being bobby brown yes that she was i how sad was it they took it dude i used to love that show they were on pill the kids were on pills though half the time you can tell that but they were but the thing is they made that show themselves so so they're like in a way they kind of had dementia because they thought oh this is gonna be dope we go put this together they edited it themselves and then they sold it the way it
was and they revealed so much nonsense about themselves it was crazy yeah you see that episode where when her daughter was alive so you had bobby's kids and then their kids together you know so his kids tommy davidson i think was one of bobby's kids wasn't he they weren't rich yeah so the the the the one girl she go they go shopping and she got hundreds yeah she just you know and they just you know i was like damn why would you do that whitney that's messed up why you gonna send your
daughter flossing like that to her half sisters and stuff to making them feel bad she only had hundreds yeah it's crazy that's crazy man crazy lifestyle we're at about an hour 40.
oh all right man i guess we gotta get out of here we gotta get out of here man all this time to get me on that's it did it take a long time yeah it's been a long time to y'all has it yeah because remember back in the day when the podcast was like whatever you was all like oh man come on my and now we wouldn't have you on huh yeah now it wouldn't have me on jan janny handles the booking man baby jarvis over there janny yeah oh that's why he had to get he had to get on mine first he was like yeah see that's something going on here oh janny's tricky bro he's a tricky little motherfucker i know he's tricky i didn't even my publicist reached out to you listening
for your badass and then i was there and i was like you wouldn't have eric on and i booked you you and dane cook have the same publicist no i've talked to this dude in the parking lot yeah we talked about it yeah yeah but you yeah exactly you want to you doing that thing now i mean i'm you know i'm booked up for we are we booked up oh we booked we're literally booked up until uh almost the end of the day shut your mouth dude we under man and i appreciate you listening no i'm joking i'm happy for all your success man i love i love seeing it you know from where it started to where you're at right now this is the dream
yeah you know what i mean this is what we did to do this for so if one of my homies can do that dream and and and break away from the pack like this oh it's great you know it's really great that's why i started a podcast i was like i gotta start a podcast riffin with griffin check that out riffin' with griffin go to riffinwithgriffin.com or ericgriffin.com to see all my dates and all that bullshit how's your experience been with uh with podcasting it's great i mean it's a job you know i mean i don't got a compound and like a you know a little gay boy to help me out with stuff but
um a twink bro you know twinking with lincoln that's what we do for five dollars you can meet gianni bro wait is that the link twinking with lincoln hit that link you know it's just him in a no shirt i love theo tattooed on his chest no so i i'm it's a slow process i wish i because i remember like you're on episode 100 or whatever so i'm on episode 40.
yeah you know what i mean so it's like i'm like damn i wish i would have done it earlier but i enjoy it and it's like you know i love like being like one away from the fans and like you know people really i think they just appreciate i think comedy fans appreciate this format more than anything else more than tv shows you know i think movies are still number one i think if you're in a movie and it goes whatever people are like oh that's what makes you a star still but this is like we have our own tight audience and it's lucrative and it's fun and this makes us a human and i can say i don't i don't think i think celebrity is
kind of becoming a different type of thing where i think we're we're just it's more influence like who do i want to let influence my world right now you know it's like we're called influencers right yeah i think of it more as like uh yeah i think the the idea of celebrity and some of the greed and stuff that comes with that or just the idea of what you are is almost becoming bizarre you know yeah if we if you if we separate ourselves too much from humanity it's just bizarre dog you know i know but these people like how many you
met some like rich celebrities like dude they're not even human beings anymore and they're delusional they act so weird it's crazy man i just like i go to myself i never want to be like that yeah like when i'm on a set i like to like i'm over with the grips and you know like you know slapping five would be hey what's up uh dude that drives the truck yeah you know these are the real people oh dude i'm look i ain't me too in an actress i'm me too one of the girls over at the soda cart you know you know i'm saying i'm a man of the people the one that don't have any uh influence or power that can say these
things one of those those are the ones i'm just saying bro all i'm saying is what you're saying that a lot i'm just saying a lot of rumors that i've heard that aliens and black people aren't getting along that justin timberlake bought a gypsian stem cells why aren't aliens and black people why wouldn't they be getting along i could see it i could see them having some differences but i don't know exactly well when you know please tell me yeah are there any black alien hunters do we know any no because i
don't know any can we get one can we find one johnny that's when you know that's like look one up or book one for the podcast that's when the world is finally it's we finally like racism's gone yeah when black people start doing dumb white that you know what i mean that's when like you know when fear factor has all black people on it we're like okay racism is over racism over.
We made it.
We did it.
We've crossed over.
When you see black people parachuting and parasailing and shit, when you see like a bear and there's a black guy like, get back, bear.
You know, when that kind of shit starts happening, we're like, oh, man, the world is a better place.
The world is a better place.
Oh, it's not going to be fun, though, I don't think.
Oh, one more thing before we get out of here.
Theo is thinking about going to Abu Dhabi, and he's a little nervous.
You're fine.
Don't worry about it.
Dubai, you recommend it?
Yeah, yeah.
You're going to be fine.
How many nights should I stay there?
How many shows are you doing?
I'm just going to go for the UFC fight, I think.
Oh.
I'm considering it anyway.
I'll just go like, you know, just go like four days, three days, three days, three nights.
Just go like three nights.
That's enough.
Just because of the travel, too.
It's going to take you so much time to get there.
You got to get acclimated, give yourself a chance to relax.
It's not a lot going on in that city.
It's just a metropolis of buildings and stuff like that.
It's not like there's like a, you know, you'll find stuff to do.
You know, if you're going with a group of people or something, yeah, it'll be fine.
Okay.
It's going to be fine, dude.
Don't worry about it.
Eric Griffin, man, one of the funniest guys I know, man.
Thanks for coming and spending time with us today, bro.
Riffin with Griffin.
Check it out.
And let's do it again soon, man.
Yeah, you know, well, whatever Gianni needs, you know what I mean?
That's what Gianni needs, man.
Put him back in 2021.
Yeah.
2021, May, I think we have you down.
This is what I'm talking about.
This is exactly the shit.
All y'all are your shit.
All y'all are your shit.
Now I'm just folding on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
I can feel it in my bones.
But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking break and let myself all wine shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories.
Shine on me.
And I will find a song.
we're And I will go away to the lands.
Gonna run away to the bathroom.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sweet.
Is it there?
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
John.
I'll take a quarter potter with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
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