Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ It’s the last show in the current studio. Theo talks about leaving for his Australia trip and takes voicemails of listeners telling stories about their moms. This episode brought to you by… ZipRecruiter Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://ziprecruiter.com/TPW Stitchfix https://StitchFix.com/THEO and get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box Skillshare https://skillshare.com/theovon Get 2 months of Skillshare for free Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Music “Devil, God and Me” - Evan Bartels http://bit.ly/TPW_DevilGodMe_EvanBartels Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Jones Aaron Rasche Aaron Wayne Anselmi Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Harlan Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Baltimore Ben Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Hoffman Brandon Kirkman Bubba Hodge Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Charles Herbst Christina Christopher Stath Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh COREY ASHMORE Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Daniel Chase Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Gill David Christopher David Smith Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug Chee Drew Munoz Dusty Baker Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Price Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Johnson Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Julie Ogden Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaitlin Mak Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kiera Parr Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Madeline Garland Marisa Bruno Matt Kaman Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Butcher Nick Lindenmayer Nick Roma Nick Rosing Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Passenger Shaming PF24 Gang Gang Qie Jenkins Quinn Hassan Rachael Edwards Rachel Warburton Randal Robert Mitchell Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Scott Wilson Sean Scott Season Vaughan Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Stefan Borglycke Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Hunsell II Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tommy Frederick Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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All the mothers and sod mothers and you know women even that wanted to be mothers or even men sometime you get a little itching down inside of your body.
Maybe you've had a strong casserole or something and you feel it quake a little and you're like damn is that is it twins and then maybe it's just his chili powders, you know strong chili powders that was in that recipe but happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful women and that humans climb out of to come out into the world.
Thank you.
This is Evan Bartell's Evan Bartells Mother May I open my eyes There's
a great big world waiting right outside Mother may I raise my voice We the people have that choice Mother may I rest my head Though
I did not try my best Mother may sip the wine Though I did not tear the vine O death You can come
for me You can't comfort me That hitter man and you can hear the rest of that song and it picks up and it's a beautiful that's a beautiful piece by Evan Bartel's The Devil God and
Me and man.
Yeah, I talk about that I talk about that line in there every time Mother may I rest my head Though I did not try my best and man that line gets me right in the damn them clavicles boy that hits me right in those high ribs baby them clavicles you know just to think that mother may I rest my head though I did not try my best and
that for me man when I hear that it just that exemplifies really what a mother is to me I feel like you know it's someone that no matter what even if you didn't do your best you're not doing well you're not you're not where you want to be you know mother can I still come in for a hug you know can I still am I still okay with you and
a mother is the woman that always says yes you know that you are welcome here you know right here in my arms and right here in my heart no matter what happy Mother's Day happy Mother's Day to everybody man look this is a I didn't mean to start off kind of somber like that but life is like that you know life is like a damn what is life what is it people out here
you know waving at each other stealing shit you know somebody maybe helping somebody you know walk across the street help an old lady across the street and then they steal a little chocolate from her maybe she have two little chocolate rabbits or something she was going to visit a grave site of a diabetic and they cop up you know they cop one of them hoppers bro one of them little rabbits and they tuck it in their jaw you know and they get that sugar for themselves that's what life is that turnstile man it's
that lazy susan but it's nice to know that wherever it's wherever it spins or stops or speeds up or whatever it's nice to know uh that there's a woman there for you you know and um and so happy mother's day to all the mothers and all the women you know uh and all the sons too man it's hard job dude out here being a son because a son man we will fuck up dude
i remember when i was young man being young boy mom's coming home you would hear that dude you would be i'd be knee deep we would be making mud in the tub we used to bring soil in from outside rare soil or just even regular soil and we would bring it in from outside and get it in get it in two hours worth of soil you know and we soiled up you know what i'm saying we ready with the we got the damn a damn you
know we got two foot by four foot of the damn mississippi delta sitting right there in the bathtub and we cut that water on brah and make our own just mud and we'd be just making mud cakes mud pies and my sister she made like a dang you know a couple layer mud cake with the with the boot with the uh fondant with that fondant icing i'm like damn bitch what are you doing this is just mud we're We can't eat this.
And she would write, happy, uh, happy anniversary Henry in it.
And I'm like, who the fuck is Henry?
You're four years old.
What are you doing around this neighborhood?
But we had some times, man.
But then once you heard one kid somehow would find out, they would get a thing in their head.
They would see the clock or whatever.
Oh, shit, it's almost 5 p.m.
That's when mom gets off work.
And that means it takes mom nine minutes unless she stopped to have a little cigarette.
Then it take her 13 minutes to get home.
Because sometimes mom pull over behind the bank and hit that freaking, you know, get that little Winston in her.
Get that chirp chirp.
Get that upper, you know, that light upper that's going to help her, you know, come home and not, you know, whip the kid's ass immediately.
She will hear the children first.
And man, mom, we come home and we'd be like, fuck, man, we got to get rid of this mud.
Because now you got, before it was soil, but now you added that water.
Now it's heavy mud.
This shit is alluvial.
You got a damn, you got a baby palm popping up over here.
You got an arborist beating on the door, you know, trying to get a deal.
And so now we got to throw all of this mud out the window.
What we didn't realize was mom, she parks right out by the window, right?
We weren't thinking, you know, logistically, we weren't really there because we were just children.
So we're just sitting there just throwing mud out the window, bro.
Sand, mud.
It had all kind of just toys in it.
It had a bottle of that suave hair conditioner.
Remember that shit with the pineapple on it?
Dude, I'd leave the house smelling fucking Polynesian.
I'd have bees coming over, couple of urban chicks showing up.
Ooh, what he doing?
You know?
When you had that suave conditioner, that pineapple fresh.
And that shit would leave you scented up.
But now the mud has everything.
She's throwing all kind of shit out.
You know, Daniel snuck over there.
He's been over there doing something.
You know, writing dirty words in the mud.
And he got stuck in it.
And he fucking went out the window.
He's airborne.
You know, Daniel, bruh.
You know, he makes his own choices, but they're not good.
And so, man, I remember then mom would come inside and BRS, bruh.
And I don't blame her.
I don't blame her.
You have, you paying $170 a month for rent in a three-bedroom and these kids fucking brought about 50 pounds of fucking mud up into the tub.
Dude.
Because then what happened after that?
It went into the pipes.
Then we couldn't use the toilet upstairs.
Then everybody had to use the toilet downstairs.
And the toilet downstairs right by the dinner table.
So you'd have, you know, some fancy fauntle wants to slip off from dinner.
You know, mom's grilling up a couple of hot cakes or whatever.
You know, maybe a couple slices of bacon, you know, a couple of lean pieces.
And then some fancy fuckerone gets a little feel, a little quake in his gurney, in his girder, in his belly.
And he wants to slide off to the side and use the toilet.
And dude, it was just, we fucking ruined mom's life.
But dang, she kept on with us.
She kept on with us, man.
You know, mother, may I rest my head though I did not try my best, man.
That thing hits me.
You know, music's pretty wild.
Didn't it lyrics and music and things we say like...
He's a human man.
If you hit him with an axe, blood is going to come out and maybe, you know, some tendon, right?
He's a regular man.
But the recipe inside him puts these words together and he learns a way to present it.
And it just, and that song's pretty beautiful to me.
And that's Evan Bartel's The Devil, God, and Me.
And I had the opportunity to meet him.
We almost over in Kansas City or Omaha, I think.
And we almost had him play after a show one time, but we couldn't find a venue.
But next time, we'll do it right.
Thank you guys for being here with us this week, this past weekend.
This is a little bit of a sad day for me.
This is our last time in this studio.
We decided to get a different studio that has a little bit more room.
And man, it's happened so fast, it's almost like I haven't really had a chance to really just be with it.
You know, just to sit in here and just kind of feel the vibe, man.
A lot has happened in here.
I remember coming out of the kitchen and thinking, man, what am I doing?
Moving into a studio?
What am I doing?
I don't even know what I'm talking about.
And then we got in here and I brought that Chris Farley picture out of my apartment, the nicest picture I own, and put it in here.
And I was pissed, dude, every time because I'd sit at my dinner table at home and be like, damn, I wish I had that Chris Farley.
You know, it really tied the room together.
And this is Fighter in the Kids Old Studio.
And we came in here, man, and we didn't give up.
You know, and I feel pretty proud.
And I want to thank you guys for being just supportive and being on board, man.
That's what's up.
You know.
Yeah, it's Mother's Day.
We got a lot of calls.
I'm not going to gabble too much.
But, yeah, I feel like I have a lot on my brain and stuff, but I've been experiencing a lot of stress this year.
I know I talk about that.
I know I complain.
Basically, I just complain a lot.
And I'm trying to get out of the complain.
I'm trying to quit eating the complain grain and just move on.
So today I'm going to keep it about you guys.
And we had some calls because really everything's okay, man.
It's just my perception.
I just need to look at things differently.
And when I get stressed out, I need to ask for help or I need to ask why am I really stressed?
I start getting grumpy, I start thinking people should be doing stuff.
Anytime I think somebody should, for me, anytime I think someone should do something, something's wrong with me.
People are going to do what they're going to do, you know?
And when I start getting expectations, I just, I don't like living that way.
I don't like being uncomfortable.
You know, I don't like being uncomfortable, man.
And I'm not going to, I'm just not going to be that way.
I'm going to try to find active ways to solve it.
Dude, so I'll update you.
I've been off the sugar, you know, and I've been off of it.
And man, I'm lean as a damn, you know, I'm lean as a dang, you know, and I'll show that right there.
And you can see my arm, a little bit of, I don't know if that's muscle or just kind of like part of my, the way that my arm is, but, you know, I'm getting real leaned out.
And you'll see hungry dogs look over at me like if I know anything on the street.
Dude, I don't fuck you looking at me for, man.
So I'm starting to look like Santa's little helper when they found him on The Simpsons.
Remember that?
Remember that episode when they found Santa's little helper?
And he was skinny.
It looked like he just been eating just air puffs and just drinking idea lattes, you know?
Just having nothing, just maybe a bowl of just invisible, you know, flake muffins.
Nothing.
He had nothing on him.
And they were racing him.
The people down at the track was racing that dog and making him run.
Dude, it's hard to run if you don't have a half a muffin in you.
If you don't have half of a real muffin.
And they made that damn dog run.
And that shit, I remember, just brought the tears right out of my eyes.
I mean, like somebody was collecting salt water right out in front of me.
And my eyes said, hey, I got a little bit for you.
Let's get into a couple calls, man.
These are all about Mother's Day.
And I appreciate you guys.
985-664-9503 is always the hotline.
Our Patreon, on behalf of our Patreon, we sent flowers to all the single moms that we've met over the past year and a half.
So we sent flowers and chocolates to all of them.
So thank you.
And we got a lot of nice texts and responses and some pictures.
And man, it really just lifted me up.
It made me feel really, really good.
And we put on the card thank you from the whole TPW family.
So just wanted to let you guys know that.
Not trying to brag or anything.
Just trying to let you know that, you know, that we don't give up on our moms.
You know, because, and that's, and I don't give up on my mom.
You know, it's like, we don't give up on our moms.
You know, it's hard.
I think it's hard in this world to, you know, I think it's hard.
Life is hard.
It is a real battle.
It's a beautiful battle.
But don't, it is, you have, but you, you know, the thing they don't show you with a baby, every baby could come with a sword and a shield.
And we don't give up on our mothers, you know.
And so we don't, we don't do that here.
Because, you know, it's hard.
Everybody's just trying to survive, you know it.
Let's get into a couple of calls, man.
I also want to let you know that this past weekend is brought to you by Stitch Fix.
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All right, here's a call that came in onward.
What's up, Theo?
My name is George.
Thanks for the opportunity to shout out the most important woman in my life.
Her name is Sarah.
She was born in Syria, moved to the States in the late 80s.
Okay.
So you got that Syrian Sarah.
You got that imported, baby.
You know?
You got that fancy bottle, it sounds like.
You know, you got that dang, that Aunt Jemima.
Aunt Jemima, you knew was good.
It came inside of a freaking urban lady.
And you know, they serving that sweet sauce.
You know, and sometimes you get that log cabin light, and you knew that shit was squeezed out of a fucking pine tree.
You know, that different hitter.
Let's hear more.
She then popped me and my two older sisters out, and then she got a job working at a grocery store.
She still works at that same store.
That's 22 years later, man.
One day I was looking over some tax information for her.
So I was looking at a pay stub of hers, and I noticed a reoccurring deduction.
I looked it up and saw that it was a charity that she was donating a fraction of her paycheck to.
So for 22 years, this woman, who wasn't really making all that much money in the first place, had donated over $3,000 to an organization that helps feed and educate underprivileged families.
I mean, I couldn't believe it.
But at the same time, knowing who she was, it made perfect sense.
Every good quality I have is because of her.
So I just want to thank her.
And I want to thank you for the time.
You bet, man.
That's very sweet of you.
Yeah, that's a beautiful message.
You know, moms do that.
They keep something away.
You know, they hold something off on the side.
Sometimes it's for us, sometimes it's for somebody else.
You know, and moms, a lot of moms, you don't realize you know, moms help out the other kids in the neighborhood.
You know, you don't realize sometimes an extra pat on the back or putting your hand on a young man's neck and just telling him he's doing a good job.
You don't know he might not be getting that at home.
You know, and a mom can do that.
Sometimes it doesn't have to.
I mean, it's nice when it comes from your mom, but man, even that secondhand, you know, that secondhand affection is very powerful.
And I think a lot of moms, they don't even realize what they do, you know, even on a group level.
You know, and thank you for that message, man.
That's a nice message to hear about for your mother.
She came here an immigrant and she stayed and got it done.
You know, and that's hard work.
And there's something nice, too.
You see, you know, the lady you go to, you see her at the grocery store and you learn a little bit about her life or you see her at the, you know, the place she works at, the market or whatever it is, the bank, the, you know, CEO, whatever it is.
It's nice to see somebody there year over year.
You know, so kudos to her.
Sound like you have a beautiful lady in your life.
Let's take another call.
Gang, gang, Theo.
My name is Jesse.
Just calling for Mother's Day, man.
Want to share a story about my mom.
Thank you for calling, Jesse.
And happy Mother's Day to your mom.
Well, when I was younger, she actually sent me to rehab for a whole year.
Hell yeah, dude.
That's a wise mom.
And that was really helpful for me because, you know, it saved my life.
Essentially, I was addicted to them dark arts, you know.
Oh, yeah.
Man, I feel you, dude.
The dark arts have been thinking about me recently.
And I can feel them sometimes.
You see, you know, you know, maybe you'll have a little bit of soup and you'll hope there's cocaine in it.
That's dark arts, you know?
Or you'll hear a bird or something, you'll look out the window and hope it's some, you know, a little bit of some titties or something, you know?
And that's when you know that, you know, you got a contusion in your fusion, man.
In the way your brain, that your brain is meddling around.
Your brain's playing Othello with Voldemort.
You know, your brain's out there playing spades with who's that man?
Professor Snape.
Onward, brother.
But that's just how it be sometimes, man.
She sent me to rehab and, you know, saved my life, man.
So, you know, your mother's there to save your life sometimes, I guess.
Gang, gang, hope you're doing good, man.
Thank you.
I am doing good today, man.
And hearing that just makes me think good, you know.
I talked to my mother this morning and thank you and that, you know, it is important.
Your mother sent you there.
You know, that's wild.
Think about what she had to let go, you know.
And it's funny how our perception would be like, man, my mom sent me to fucking rehab.
But think about her.
You know, taking something that you care about so much and having to let it go somewhere like that and just being afraid.
And, you know, that's, it's so crazy.
I wish we had a button where we could press it and immediately we could put ourselves into the other person's shoes to know where they're coming from.
But yeah, and especially when we're young, we don't know.
It's hard for us to register any of that, man.
When we growing up and you doing all kind of stuff and busting nuts and everything and, you know, stealing and looking in people's windows and shit at night, you can't.
You ain't thinking with a level deck.
So that's beautiful, man.
That's a beautiful tribute to your mother right there.
I'm glad that she sent you and you sound healthy and well, man.
And that's cool.
Because the pills, the drugs, that shit, they don't, man, they don't care.
Them things do, they don't have a heart in them.
Bro, you crack open a damn 7,000 milligram of fentanyl or whatever, dilauded, bro.
You won't find a vein in that bitch.
Those things, they don't have a heart.
Let's take another call.
Here we go.
As always, the hotline 985-664-9503.
Here we go.
Hey, Theo.
This is Hannah from Atlanta, Georgia.
Hannah from Atlanta.
Dang, this sounds like somebody out of a in the thong song, you know.
Hannah from Atlanta got that thong, thong.
I love your podcast.
I just wanted to tell a quick funny story about my mom.
She is the strongest person I know.
She's amazing.
She got divorced and then actually recently remarried.
And it's good to see her happy again because she hasn't been happy for a long time.
Isn't that powerful?
Isn't that powerful seeing your mother happy?
You know, I didn't realize.
I mean, I talk sometimes, you know, I'll tell the story in my show.
My mother won a perm one time on a radio when I was young.
And it was the first time after that I saw my mother just, there was a moment where I just saw her have happiness.
And I'd never seen her be stressed, unstressed before.
I'd never seen her be, you know, just not concerned or worried.
It was just one moment.
It was just a look in her eye.
It was just a moment.
And man, it just, I remember it was, it just had the whole world felt different to me.
There's something that happens inside of a son specifically.
And I can't speak for a daughter because all I got inside of me is male DNA.
I mean, I might have a little, you know, I might get a little bitchy around the, you know, I got that DS booty, you know, and I got that urban girl booty, but otherwise I think I'm staying, you know, masculine.
But there's something when you see your mother get to be at peace, that it lets you be at peace.
It's like you can't, a child, a son, I don't know if a son can be at peace if their mother isn't at peace.
I don't know.
I just don't know if it can happen.
I don't know if it's built into us that if your mother is stressed or overwhelmed or worried, even if it's just all in her head or whatever, that you can't find, I could never be at peace until this one moment I saw my mother relax.
And then I just, I was like, oh, what is this?
This is a new air that I'm in.
Let's hear more.
I just wanted to tell a story about, I think I was about 12 years old.
She took me roller skating for the first time.
And I was extremely scared because I hated doing stuff like that.
I was always afraid to get hurt.
So we go roller skating.
And I immediately, as soon as I start, I fall right on my ass.
And she skates by me backwards with her middle fingers in the air and her tongue sticking out at me.
And she's always just had the best sense of humor.
And I just, I really admire that about her.
Anyway, just wanted to say, I love your podcast.
Gang gang.
Gang gang, that's crazy.
I hit you with that fucking stick, boy.
Your mom hit you with that magic stick right down the middle.
That's beautiful.
That's so funny.
You know, it's funny when a child, when they have a moment, when a child has a moment where they fall down or something, there's like a moment there where if your reaction is a certain way, they'll react a different way.
I see that sometimes.
You know, if you seem overly concerned, then they'll keep crying.
If you like make it funny or it's okay, then they can kind of make it it's okay.
It's like there's these kind of teaching type of moments.
And that and that's just what I noticed.
I could be wrong.
I don't have any children, you know.
But yeah, when you're 12 years old, that's hilarious.
What a funny story.
What a cool mom.
That's such a cool mom.
Man, that's cool.
Yeah, my mom always dropped us off.
She never really came in with us to do stuff, I don't think.
But I think also I was at that age, at that point where I just didn't, you don't want your mom around at some points.
You know, you start to want to be away from them.
It's just like birds, man.
If you look at birds, if you watch March of the Penguins, you know, human beings, a man and their mother, a boy and their mother, just like March of the Penguins.
You know, the mom goes off to wherever, Seattle or whatever, and she's get, you know, trying to get a little bit of fish from this guy or this guy or trying to, you know, start her own little fish, her little, start her own little catchery or whatever, you know, just snagging fucking carps or whatever, and she fills up.
And she comes home and the baby gets that, you know, she drops a little bit of that freaking, you know, that saucy exhale right into him.
And he gets buffed up and he starts doing weights and shit.
And the mom goes off again to wherever she goes, Vancouver, you know, wherever a lot of these birds are at.
And some of these birds out there are thoughtting, to be honest.
But anyway, decent penguin women go to North Pole, whatever, you know, eating Santa's leftovers up there.
And then they come back and now they come back and the kid's getting older and he's fucking, you know, he's doing cigarettes or he's, you know, doing, you know, doing dice or whatever.
And his mom's like, well, you know, she's trying to vomit into his mouth for say, you know, for comfort.
And he don't want it.
He want to do his own shit.
He want to go watch the Iditarod with his buddies or, you know, or, you know, or go thaw a couple bitches out.
But then the mother and this, but the mother still loves that boy.
You know, she don't give up on him even though he's trying to leave the nest.
And it's very similar to humans.
Very similar to humans overall.
If you look at like a chart.
So, but that's a beautiful mom with that fucking roll.
To be able to roller skate and flip someone off.
Jesus Christ.
Who is your mom?
Christy Yamaguchi?
Sounds hot.
Thank you for that call.
Very sweet.
And it's nice to know that you love your mother.
You know, it just, it just makes me feel good.
I'm going to tell you this makes me feel good as well.
That if you don't have a job, say you got a boy, you might be, you probably a boy that don't have a job.
Look.
And that's okay.
You can get one.
Hiring used to be hard.
Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes.
What is all this resumes?
I'm going to start a fire with this.
A confusing review process.
You got to go in.
Some guys looking at you.
I don't know if you can do it.
Dude, I can do it.
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So you want to hire, first of all, you want to get into that professional space.
Then you're not hiring somebody who's just writing something on a napkin and leaving it in your mailbox.
That's old-fashioned.
That's fucking slip recruiter, bro.
You're trying to recruit, but you slipping.
This is the other one, ZipRecruiter.
This is the one where it's all, you're only getting people that have resumes that are sending resumes.
You ain't getting a little Larry down there saying, I could do it, fam.
You know what I'm saying?
Tell that little wigga to tone it down.
You feel me?
Gang.
Ziprecruiter.com slash TPW.
Oh.
You know, we're taking some of our Patreon questions and putting them in.
I'm going to answer this one right now.
This is from Quinn Hassan and Gang Gang from down under.
And this man, Sam, from Australia.
And I used to think people said, I'm down under.
I thought they was a mechanic.
They was doing oil changes.
You know, I'm from Down Under.
But that was, you know, that's when I was young and didn't know as much.
Or I knew just less than I know now.
Quinn asked, how often are you getting recognized now that you're blowing up on a global level?
Like, can you go out and still be left alone?
Or is there always someone asking for a photo, etc.?
I'm from Melbourne, Australia, and find it really bizarre watching you spread organically through the world.
Literally never even heard of you five months ago.
Then a couple months later, you're that popular.
We struggle to get tickets to your Melbourne show.
Amazing.
Well, I will say there are still tickets available to the Adelaide show in Australia, and that's in a couple of weeks.
I think that's it.
Well, thanks for the question, Quinn.
I appreciate it.
Thanks for your Patreon support.
You know, that's how we do all the, you know, helping out the single mothers.
We're going to do some other stuff.
We have our game plan on there.
What's that been like?
Yeah, I have met more people.
You know, I meet more people.
But, you know, I'll say this.
The people I meet are people that I feel like I would want to meet anyway.
I don't feel like I'm meeting like a bunch of like, you know, I feel like there's like substance kind of like everybody I meet, I end up having a conversation with if I can.
I mean, at shows, it's a little harder because, you know, there's just a lot of people at once and you've just performed and it's kind of exhausting.
And I like to put it all on the stage.
You know, I like to do what I, I like to really, you know, I'm not just trying to sell tickets.
I'm trying to get people to the show because I want them to see the show because I worked hard on it.
You know, and I want them to have a good experience.
But yeah, it's easier to meet people, but it's easier to meet good people.
That's one thing that I've noticed.
If I feel like somebody's out of control or they're, you know, real fucked up or something like that, I don't engage in a lot of that type of stuff.
But everybody I meet seems, you know, it seems to be pretty respectful.
Some things have gotten a little different.
Like, you know, I'll, like I got a message from like a pitcher from the Dodgers the other day on DM.
And he just, you know, he was like, hey, man, I'm a big fan.
And I was like, dude, you're a freaking pitcher for the Dodgers, dude.
Like, don't you have, aren't there batters out there right now?
Like, don't y'all have something to do?
But so things like that are kind of interesting and kind of flattering.
But then I really get scared about my ego, you know?
You know, I really get scared about my ego.
Because I'll start noticing that, you know, like I start noticing in my head I get a little bit more demanding about stuff.
And I don't like that, man.
I don't like.
I don't like...
I don't.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't like that.
I don't like that.
And that's just ego.
Some of it's stress.
Some of it's ego.
Some of it's just being tired.
Which is why I'm excited to go to Australia.
I'm taking six days and I'm going to Bali.
Bali, not the fitness club.
I'm going to damn Indonesia.
So somebody, my buddy Simon Rex said it was a good place.
And so I'm going to go.
I just said, fuck it, I'm going.
Found me a place on there, travel advisor, and I'm headed to Bali tomorrow morning.
So I'm taking a break.
But yeah, it's interesting.
Popularity is interesting.
But you know, I don't want to be popular.
I want to do something.
And I don't know what that is sometimes.
You know, I just, like, popularity doesn't, at the end, there's not really a value to it.
You know, it's exciting.
I'm grateful.
I know that, like, you know, me and Dustin Porre are going to do a show down in Louisiana later this year in Lafayette.
That's going to be a fundraiser for his area.
You know, like stuff like that really makes me feel good.
You know, just me like getting, like, I don't know.
It's interesting.
I just think that the ego is very dangerous.
And so I just, I'm very nervous about, you know, more people getting excited.
I'm excited, but I just, you know, I'm just trying to be careful because I don't want to, I don't want to just sit around thinking I'm good.
And that seems to be like a side effect of something that can happen.
You know, I want to stay in motion and I want to, you know, I don't know.
I just want to be okay.
Because popularity also seems like a very dangerous thing.
So, but with that said, I'm very excited that people are coming to the shows.
And the people that I meet are good people.
And so I'm excited to meet them, man.
But thank you for that question, Quinn Hassan.
And thank you for being a part of sending all those flowers to all the single moms that we followed up with all of them.
We'll put some of the text.
Some of them sent me some nice texts.
Some of them are still coming in.
Anyhow, another question that came in.
This is from Stefan Borglick.
Borglicky?
I want to say Borglik.
Borglicky.
Borglicky.
Thank you, Stefan.
I'm sorry I'm butchering your name.
Have you ever grown a big beard?
Or would you?
Dude, a big beard.
Look, I saw this guy on a bus one time in Tucson, and this dude had his beard.
He had it dug out.
And one time I saw him, and he had a thing of cigarettes in there, you know, a pack of palm oils in there.
And a lighter, and he had it tucked down into the beard so he could reach in there and get the, you know, get his little sustainability sticks and just get that hit, get his nerves level.
And then I saw him probably seven months later in Tucson because I used to ride the bus in Tucson.
You know, I used to ride the three.
I used to ride the seven to get over to Wilmot Avenue to go.
I was busboying over there.
And this is when I was busboying out in Arizona.
And dude, I was on creating and I was a fucking bus boy, dog.
I was a bus man, dude.
I was, bro, you know, when you're doing creatine to bus boy, you're going to do good.
Okay.
I was the only person at Citigrill Restaurant out there in Wilmot and Tanka Verde over there in Tucson, Arizona, who was fucking yoked to get those plates, boy.
Get those cups.
Oh, you didn't finish your bread?
I don't give a fuck, boy.
I put it in this bus bin.
Half a steak, half a cookie, a little bit of ice cream melted in a bowl.
pour it in.
Put the bowl in.
On to the next table.
Dude, I would hit so many...
They had a Ralph and Cakoos down the street.
I was fucking in there doing shit for them, freelancing, right?
Our dishwasher was like, where are these from?
You know, and that was a French accent.
So don't even come at me.
I do French how I want to do French.
But dude, it was wild, man.
I was a bus boy.
And now you got these bus, but they don't know.
I don't know.
Can I get you some more water?
And I'm like, dude, I fucking brought my own water.
I pull a pail out of my shit because I still stay bus woke, bruh.
Damn, sorry, that shit got me heated up.
Have her grown a big beard or would I?
I would.
It's scary, but I think I would.
Let's take another couple of calls here for Mother's Day.
Here we go.
What up, Theo?
This is Jake from San Diego.
Just wanted to share a mom thought with you and other past weekenders.
Back in the day, my mom had a blue Aerostar minivan.
It looked like Bart Simpson's shoe.
Yeah, bro.
We had that van, dude.
Bro, one time my brother and I thought we could keep the van closed, the door closed, if we put a whole bunch of fucking super glue on it, right?
The little tubes.
Remember that scary shit you finally found out your mom had?
The real kind of stuff?
The stuff that was holding your parents' marriage together?
That little tube that, you know.
And we put as much of that as we could on the van door and closed that bit.
And it worked, bro.
It worked for about three months.
So we had to get in the back of the van and in the front door.
My mom was so furious because she had all her cookies and newspapers back there for the delivery route.
So, you know, we'd be leaving over the back seat, fucking snag a snickerdoodle, you know, snag a fucking sports section.
And I'm out there.
I'm nine years old, you know, learning about them Wall Street Johnny's, bruh.
And have, you know, and getting sugared up before the day.
But yeah, mom beat our ass for that, boy.
But we love her, man.
Let's hear more.
One night it was stolen, but the police found it a few weeks later.
Oh, yeah, police always found that Astro van.
Thing be burnt out.
Some graffiti in there, you know.
By the border.
This dude took all the back seats out and got caught bringing people over from Mexico.
Now, my dukes didn't have a lot of money, so she just had me and my siblings put lawn chairs and folding chairs back there.
And she wasn't the best driver either.
It was like a rock tumbler full of kids in there.
That's hilarious.
So no seats in there.
He said it was like a rock tumbler full of kids.
That's hilarious, man.
Dude, that's great, man.
Let's hear a little more.
It was fun, though.
It was a lot of fun, man.
Safety wasn't as big of a concern back then, you know?
Yeah, safety wasn't as big a concern because you found out who cared about you.
Somebody put their arm over you.
You know, you ride on your brother's lap or your older sister's lap, and they would hold on to you, and you felt loved.
And then they made the laws.
You got to have this piece of cloth.
I don't have any feelings.
At least write something on the seatbelt that lets you know you cared about, you know?
I'd be an arm if I could.
You know, I do care about you, even though it doesn't feel like it.
I want you to stay safe because, well, you know, you know, I got feelings.
Like, put some stuff on the seatbelt that at least, but other than but no, man, they make the law and then you got to have the stupid strap.
Now You're just sitting there by yourself.
You don't know if anybody cares.
And you got to live through the accident you're about to be in with the, you know, in the car.
Back in the day, dude, you had you had, you know, especially if you were the little family member, little Chauncey or whatever, you know, little fucking Darnell or little fucking, you know, Betty.
They had somebody hold you.
They'd hold you down.
If you've been bad, somebody hold their hand over your mouth for nine miles while you're going out there to Landa Pine's campground to get a, you know, a couple grill meets and do the water slide.
Man, you had, you know, you had it.
And that's how you knew people cared, bro.
You got to the damn wherever you were going and you had a bunch of lipstick.
Your sister's been kissing you a thousand times.
You know, your tender brother's trying to date a little bit.
He's slipping your love notes.
But he's holding, you know, he's been holding on to you with his legs for 40 minutes during the ride.
You got every, but you felt cared about and you were safe.
You probably got in nine accidents on the way there, but you didn't need a seat belt.
You know, you just needed to be just loved on.
You know, and that kept everybody safe.
It was different times.
Safety wasn't as big of a concern.
You know, but then different things happened.
That space shuttle blew up and that, you know, really shook everybody.
But these lawyers, man, they'll fucking ruin it all.
Thank you for that call, man.
Let's take another call.
But first, this past weekend is brought to you by Skillshare.
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That's skillshare.com slash Theo Von.
And it's a great place to experience, learn if you want to have a new experience with a new skill.
Go there, listen to something.
Oh, maybe it's hidden something I cared about.
You know, you want to do claymation.
You want to do art.
You know, you want to learn to, you know, work at the senior center and do the superpositories, putting vitamins in a senior butt.
Do it.
But watch the videos first.
Learn the instruction mentals.
Learn your life, man.
We love you here.
Oh.
Let's take another couple calls, man.
I'm really enjoying this.
People sharing stories about their mom.
Dude, it must be fun to be driving that rock tumbler when you're a mom, you know?
Skating by with that middle finger out.
Sending your son off to rehab.
Lots of stuff moms do.
See yo, gang, gang, my dude.
It's Andrew from Lafayette, Louisiana.
I just wanted to call it.
Andrew from that Laffy Taffy boy over there, where it's a soup.
Everything's a damn soup.
You step in a puddle, bro, and you pull out and you got a bunch of, you have, you know, you got a recipe inside written on the inside of your shoe.
It is good food over there in Lafayette.
Onward.
Follow in with a story about my mom.
You know, happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.
So back in 2008, I was at Bonnaroo watching Pearl Jam.
Oh, hell yeah.
He's on that dust or on them drugs.
Let's hear it.
Catching that buzz, buzz.
Gang, gang.
Got a little too wasted.
And, you know, I lost my wallet.
So the next morning, my mom calls and she's like, oh, no, you lost your wallet.
Oh, you lost that Sam's card.
She wasn't concerned about my driver's license or my debit card or my credit card.
She was concerned about that Sam's hitter.
That Sam's Club card.
Anyway, it's always been a funny story we tell.
Just wanted to share it with you guys.
Take care.
Gang Gang, partner.
Gang Gang, man.
Dude, that's hilarious.
That's such a mom thing.
You lost that Sam's Club card.
Because that's how moms think.
They're thinking, man, how's he going to get 76 fucking cans of grilled okra?
You know?
How's he going to get 45 pieces of squash that are carved in statues of Lance Armstrong?
Where else is he going to be able to do that?
Only at Sam's Club, right?
They used to have live animals at the one over in Vermilion, Paris.
They had live animals at the Sam's Club.
So you could get a fucking carton of eggs and then pick up the mother that made them.
You could roll right out of there.
Beautiful times down there.
Thank you for calling, man.
Nice to hear a call from Louisiana, dude.
Beautiful place.
Let's take another call here.
985-664-9503.
The last show here in this studio.
And that's kind of almost a little bit like leaving a place.
It's like leaving a womb a little bit.
You know, I know these walls.
I know this place.
I know how my voice sounds in here.
You know, I know my lifeline.
Nick Davis, the producer, premature Nick, he showed up early.
And he's been working hard ever since, bro.
And it's kind of like that, you know, when you leave to a new place.
Because I don't know what it's going to be.
I'm leaving.
I'm out of town for three weeks.
And then when I get back, we're going to be rocking and rolling.
And it is pretty crazy to go back to the guy's question.
It's crazy now to Be going to like Australia to do stand-up shows.
But I feel like it's not fake.
I feel like I'm bringing a product that is good.
You know, I think what would be scary would be going somewhere and not being able to do a good show or a show that I think people are getting going to get their money's worth for.
So that's what I hope to do.
A lot of people have been asking about meet and greets after shows as well.
A lot of them, the shows don't have them.
I'm going to try to do as many as I can.
After early shows, it's harder because we got to do the late show.
But after late shows, I'm just going to try to do as many, just meet as many people as I can.
So they'll usually just announce it at the end of the show.
And thank you guys so much for all the people supporting and the tickets and stuff.
It's crazy, man.
I can't even, you know, it's like my dreams are kind of coming true.
And we can think about that a different time.
I want to hear more about these mothers, man.
That Sands Club, dude, that's fucking wild.
That rock tumbler.
Yo, CO, what's up, man?
It's Mike from Northern Virginia, which most people know as the less racist part of the state up here outside D.C. in the good old Polish trick belt.
Oh, yeah, up there in Nova, dude.
Yeah, let's hear more.
Anyway, man, Mother's Day hasn't always been easy.
I lost my mom to cancer 15 years ago when I was 18, actually the day before I left for college.
Wow.
I just want to take a little moment of silence for her, man.
Let's hear the rest of your call.
As you know, losing a parent young can have a long-standing effect on you.
For a lot of years, especially on Mother's Day, I was, I think, bitter, for example.
But as I get older, I still miss her the same, but I've tried to change my mindset, really working on that.
Try to think about the joy and the happiness she brought to me instead of just being gone.
Just thinking about her voice and her smile and her kindness towards others makes me happy.
To me, she set the bar for how we're supposed to treat others, and I'm constantly working on imitating that in my own life.
And, you know, now I'm seeing all the other moms in my life who've supported me, and I'm thankful for them as well as appreciate the impact they've had on me.
Amen, man.
That's a great message.
You know, and you know what's funny?
Your blueprint, this is just my, you know, my one cent.
Your blueprint for recognizing those other mothers probably wouldn't be there if your mother hadn't really created it.
You know?
So there, you know, it's just so amazing that your mother did the work that she did, where you're able to still see that, where you're able to recognize it in other people.
Man, it's so powerful, dude.
It's so powerful.
Like, because I think about this.
I think, so say, you know, your mother passed.
And then years later, you know, you have an experience with a woman, a mother, you know, a motherly moment.
And you tell her, wow, you know, hey, I just want to let you know, you know, my mother passed away when I was young.
And, you know, whatever you did or said, or it just really, you know, it hit me in that place where only my mother could hit me.
Man, that's powerful.
That's powerful for you.
That's powerful for that person.
Because then that person knows that they, then they realize an effect they can have on somebody by doing whatever that action was, something joyous, you know, something loving, something, man, that's powerful, you know.
You know, I'm amazed really by the power of connection a lot of times.
I'm really amazed by it.
And maybe I'm late to the game.
Maybe people have been unamazed by it forever.
But I'm a late bloomer.
You know, it just took me a long time to get out of my show in some ways.
And I'm still halfway, you know, I'm still paying rent on that bench.
But thank you for calling and sharing the story about your mother.
And I'm sure that she's thinking of you every day, man.
Let's hear more.
Yo, Theo, this is Anonymous in Witness Protection in Kentucky.
Gang, gang, dude.
And this, I didn't know this call was coming in.
I've always wanted a call like this to come in, man.
And this is Witness Protection Program calling.
So I'm going to throw my hat back on just to be a part of what's going on right now.
Back in the 80s, my mom had a technique in her 77 Monte Carlo when I was a teenager, like 14, 15 years old.
I'd smart off to her on Mother's Day, and she would slam on the brakes and then backhand me as my face was flying forward, so it really smack me in the mouth hard.
Dang, dog.
Your mother sounds like Gary Payton, bro.
You know, she sounds like fucking pistol, pissed off Maravich, dude.
She sounds like she's got that, you know, that dexterity.
Onward.
I love her for that.
Made me a better man.
Gang gang.
Gang gang, man.
Yeah, you know, it's funny.
My mother used to hit me a lot when I was young.
She didn't have any choice.
She was the only parent.
She didn't have a choice.
What you going to not hit some kid?
You got four kids.
Somebody about to get their ass beat.
Somebody needs to.
You know?
Especially when the mom's by themselves, they got the father's job, too.
And they can't do it all.
But you know, it's funny, now older, I don't remember those things.
And some of them I choose not to remember.
You know, I choose not to remember my mother as a struggling woman who couldn't keep it together and who took some aggression out on her children.
Because for one, it was good for me.
And two, I don't want to remember my mother that way.
You know, now sometimes it creeps in and I do think of her that way and I hold grudges.
But in the end, it's my choice.
And I choose to try and remember her differently these days.
I didn't always.
I didn't even when this podcast started.
But these days, I choose to try and remember my mother differently.
You know, I just choose to try and remember her as a woman that needs love.
You know, And that I don't want to see struggle because I know at the core of my mother, no matter what she had to do, spank us or whatever, I know that at the very core of her, she never, ever wanted us to see us struggle.
And she did whatever her chart was, whatever her path was to try and navigate that.
Thank you.
That's what she did.
And so I, you know, and that's where the choice is mine.
It's like I can be upset sometimes at some of the things and the disconnection and, you know, why I struggle in relationships now because I don't have a con, you know, it's hard for me to trust women at a core level.
But also then there's another thing where it's like I can just choose to not discuss any of that with my mother.
I can choose to take that up with myself.
I mean, some stuff I discuss with her, but I can just choose to look at her differently and just try to love her because in the end, it helps me get to a place where I just feel better then.
The end of that road of trying to just be loving feels better than the end of the other road of just trying to hold that grudge forever and not learn from it or learn about it.
But thank you for the call, man.
Yeah, moms had some tricks up their sleeve, man, and not up their sleeve that freaking open-handed.
That backhand, baby, you feel me?
That backhand, man.
Hey, Theo, this is Dane from Springfield, Missouri, man.
Gang, gang.
What's up, Dane from Springfield, and that's a beautiful area up there in Missouri.
Missouri.
That's what a lot of the older men up there call it Missouri.
Up there in Missouri.
Homer?
Listen, talking about moms.
My mom went to college and went to master's degree once we were all, all three of us were in school, and she was a speech pathologist.
One time, her favorite patient, his favorite band was Coldplay, and she went out of her way to email the tour manager, told him the whole story and the whole business, and worked your magic.
And the tour manager paid for the free concert tickets.
The kid and his girlfriend got to go backstage and meet Chris Martin and the entire band.
Wow.
That was like the best night of that kid's life.
And I mean, that was something really cool my mom did, man.
I thought that was cool.
So she passed away in 2012.
And it's rough for some of us out there, you know, moms and all that.
But anyway, listen, man, I really appreciate everything you do.
And big fan of the show, man.
Gang, gang.
Gang, gang, man.
Well, she's alive right now, man.
You know, she's alive right now.
And that's, you know, she's alive right now.
And that's the kind of woman she was.
You know, it's interesting how a moment or two can really define somebody.
And it's interesting how we have a lot of time in our life to really make that moment.
You know, your mother probably did a lot of other things, but you chose to tell that moment where she was helping somebody else, not even you.
Man, that's pretty powerful.
Yeah, man.
Well, she's still alive right here, right now with that story.
That's why I love stories, man.
They keep people alive, you know.
And that's why I think they've been around since the beginning of time.
Stories from mouth to mouth, from mouth to ear.
Because if you do, videotape, think about it.
The waters come, baby.
Or whatever, the electricity, you know?
They start valde-mortin and the Lord starts going at it, sword fighting, and the clouds open up, or something goes awry at the Mars factory and too many Skittles, everybody drown in fucking, you know, rainbow sugar pieces.
All this electronic shit's in a go.
All we need to have is just the mouth to ear.
So thank you for giving us that.
Let's take one more call.
Here we go.
Hey, Theo.
Happy Mother's Day.
It's Alex from Kingston.
I'll tell you a little story about when I was in high school.
One morning in particular, when I was 16 years old, I felt this tickling sensation over my face.
Oh, that's an uncle, dude.
This is about mothers.
And that was a bad joke.
Thank you for calling, Alex.
Let's hear more.
And when I opened my eyes, my mom was gangling with paint g-string over my face.
And, well, I guess my girlfriend had spent the weekend, and she had left that in the bed.
And the only thing she said was, Alex, you need to respect a woman's body.
And I guess I've been trying my best ever since.
But anyway, my mom's my hero.
She immigrated us to America legally from Taiwan.
And she's turning 60 at the end of the month.
And it's Mother's Day this weekend.
And she never got to get her graduation ring when she graduated from Michigan State.
So I'm going to buy her that graduation ring.
That's dated for 95 this year.
I love her.
And thanks for doing the show.
Big fan.
Later.
Gang, bro.
That's awesome, man.
That's a good story, dude.
You're going to get her that piece, that jewelry.
That's touching, man.
Yeah, that's exciting.
It's exciting to think.
You know, I'd have sent my mother some flowers, but maybe I can learn more about her in the next year and think of something that could be a little more sentimental.
You know, get her something, maybe something she really, really has always wanted.
You know, there's something about my mother, she doesn't like to tell you some of the things she's always wanted, you know?
She has like a, I don't know, she feels like she doesn't want to burden anybody.
But that's beautiful, man.
Congratulations.
And it sounds like you're very proud of your mom.
Yo, Theo, what up?
This is Greg from Todd, Texas.
What up from Tejas?
Let's hear it.
Papa, what's going on, Greg?
Close to that stray animal belt down there in Louisiana.
Yeah, yeah, man.
That stray animal, dude.
A lot of animals used to roam, boy.
Roam, baby.
Mice passing through like bison in the night.
Onward.
Got a story about my mom.
When I was in eighth grade in PE, I got a spanking by my coach for something that was irrelevant.
Damn, it sounds sexy out here in Hollywood.
Do you tell some of these executive males that?
Dang, boy.
They'll put you in a damn movie at their house.
Let's hear more.
Was for an eighth grader that feels a little bit homoerotic.
Damn, that is, boy.
Any spankings past the fifth grade is real questionable.
So I went home and told my mom.
My mom decided to go back up there.
And what she told him was, if you ever touch my son again, I'm going to give you an ass whooping you will never forget.
And that sounds like some Louisiana type shit.
Something that your mom might do.
Well, sometimes that shit leaks over the border, you know, because they don't have a wall down there.
Let's hear more.
Anyways, gang gang.
Gang gang, man.
Yeah, moms will step up for us and cheer us on sometimes.
You know, sometimes they show up.
You know, and it's easier for, you know, it has been easier for me to remember times where my mom didn't show up.
But, you know, when I think about when I really, when I take that edge off of myself and just try and find gratitude for things my mom did, it's a little bit easier to think of the times she did.
You know, and a lot of it is just hearing other people tell their stories.
You know, we had an Astro van.
You know, my mom used to throw, I just remembered my birthday parties at the Roller Rink.
And man, we always had the best cake.
She always went across the lake to get the cake to New Orleans.
And everybody else got some local cake.
And we got this special, this nice cake from over there.
And she would get it every time because she knew we liked it.
You know, they don't get a lot of thanks.
Or maybe they do.
And maybe I'm just speaking from my own life.
You know, maybe sometimes I don't want to thank my mother or there's something inside of me that doesn't want to thank people that doesn't want to.
You know, that's.
And that's not the good part of me.
I've got to go against that.
Whatever that thing inside of me says, I'm not going to call her.
I'm not going to say this.
That's the dark arts.
That's the thing that doesn't want you to do well or to be well or to feel well or to make others feel well.
And you've got to step over that thing.
And you got to take control.
And also, I don't know what I'm talking about.
So there's all of that in there.
We'll get to more Patreon questions next week.
Dude, some great calls, man.
Thank you so much.
985-664-9503 as always is the hotline.
There are new shows going on sale this week, some extra shows in a couple of cities.
And I think those cities are Atlanta.
Got a new show going on.
Let me see.
Yeah, Atlanta.
Oh, wait, Austin, Oklahoma City, Sacramento, and Atlanta.
I think all those places have some new shows going on.
As well, tickets are available now for Glasgow, Dublin, Oslo, Stockholm, London, Manchester, and Amsterdam.
That's crazy.
I can't even believe that we have to do all these shows, but fucked.
I have to go on stage in Australia in a couple weeks.
There won't be an episode next week.
I'm taking a break.
So there will be guest episodes on the Thursdays, but there won't be one next weekend.
I'm just taking a break.
And this is a great place to take a break.
And I'm going to miss this studio, man.
I'm going to miss it.
You know, and I'm scared.
I don't know what's going to happen at the new studio.
We got more room.
We got more.
But there'll be more room, I think, just for, you know, when little Gianni comes in to help with the booking.
We got, you know, the lovely finance lady.
We might get her, you know, get her a desk or something, do something like that.
Get her a little art.
You know, we're going to try to, you know, we're going to try to work on a cartoon full-time with Papio.
But just thank you so much for everything, man.
You guys have, you know, this has been a blast.
This has been a real blast.
And we're going to do a lot of good with the momentum that we've created.
And I hope that you hold us to that because we're going to hold ourselves to that as well.
We'll finish out this Mother's Day episode with the second half of that Evan Bartell's The Devil, God, and Me.
The link to his song will be on the YouTube.
Thank everybody.
Thank you for the Patreon support.
Yeah, and even though you called your mom yesterday, you call her again if you want, you know?
And dads, too.
You know, I know when we'll get into dads and we'll do a special section thing for them sometime.
And next week, I don't know what we'll talk about.
Oh, we're not going to talk about anything.
You guys be good to yourselves, man.
You deserve it.
And thank you so much for the wonderful calls.
Gang.
Whatever I do have your name stuck in my ear, and I'm to blame.
Oh, I beg you, let me be that will you ignore my plea.
The crown of lies I wear in shame.
What I would give to tragedy.
Oh death.
Oh, death.
You can come for me.
Oh, death.
Yeah.
Yeah.
but you can't comfort me Want to give a sign R from the studio, Nick?
Jesus, may I have your grace, Jesus?
Though I had my face, and will you cast my doubts away and take my sins down to the grave if there is hope,
then let me see there is life for those like me You can come for me Lord,
but you can't comfort me You can comfort me Ladies
and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner The answer may shock you sometimes I'll interview my friends Sometimes I won't and as always I'll be joined by the voices in my head You have three new voice messages A lot of people are talking about kite club I've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody else so great Hi,
Sweet.
Is it there?
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Jamain.
Hi, I'll take a quarter potter with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
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