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Nov. 16, 2017 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von
43:52
11-16-17 | This Past Weekend #52

Nerves and Diversity for info: Follow up to Monday's episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSYwxX4D0U4See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Time Text
This shirt makes it look like I don't even have a neck.
okay let's get that and uh...
what do you think about this?
Yeah, yeah.
Celebrate living.
Okay.
Celebrate Misma.
Gotta celebrate the dark times.
Because the light can flicker in your life.
Let's have some fun while we all die.
Thank you.
The light can flicker on your life.
You're not guaranteed a hundred watt life.
You know, you can't think that.
You can't.
You can act like it, but you can't be infected with the idea or with more, really the affliction that life is supposed to be a hundred watt, that you are guaranteed a hundred watt life.
Because that's not realistic.
You know, life is often just maybe 80 watt.
And if you can live at 80 watt, man, then you are really, I mean, you're living under a beautiful lamp of existence, I think.
And that's just my thoughts.
It is Thursday, November 16, the year 2017, and we are on earth.
And welcome to This Past Thursday.
I'm happy to be here with you guys.
I'm wearing a, it's kind of like a sweatshirt, and I just, I just saw my reflection on it on this camera, and I just feel inferior because it just kind of feels, I'm having one of those days.
Honestly, I'm having one of those days.
It just highlights the lack of distance in my neck, that my neck don't have that reach that I've always wanted.
You know, you kind of wish sometimes that one of your great-great-grandparents fucked a G-Raph.
So you might have that extra inch up top.
You know, you might have that, you know, your neck looks like it could dunk a ball.
You know, I don't have that neck.
Good to be here.
Thank you guys for joining me.
Brief announcements.
Huntsville, Alabama.
I'll be seeing you tonight through Sunday night.
So Friday night, I'm just featuring for another man that's local there.
But come on out.
If you have a friend in Huntsville, tell them to come on out.
As well, thank you to Gray Block Pizza.
As always, great place to get a hit of that pie here in Los Angeles.
And coming soon, a new shop in Portland, Oregon.
Yeah, man, I had a tough day.
I know you don't want to hear about my tough day, so we'll hear about, you know, we got some good follow-up calls.
You know, one of the topics that was brought up on the last episode was, do black men get nervous?
You know, and do black people get nervous, I guess.
I mean, I haven't spent, you know, I mean, black people to me have always seemed extremely confident.
You know, and so last time on the episode, we talked about that a little bit.
And so we had some great calls that came in from you guys.
So we're going to listen to some of that.
What's going on in the news?
The Louis C.K. stuff, I want to comment on it, but I don't know if I'm going to get to that today.
If not, I'll make sure to follow up on it on the next week's episode.
And also got to let some of the more of the information come out and things that's going on.
But it's a wild, man.
It's a scary time to be a man in a lot of places.
And I don't know if it's like that in the rest of the country, but here in Los Angeles, it definitely feels that way.
You know, I'm on a lot of text chains where, you know, men are scared.
Scared.
Scared that, you know, if someone who doesn't like them comes out and says something, that it could damage their career, their future.
Or also that if they did something, I haven't had any friends come to me and say, hey, Theo, I did this and I'm scared it's going to come out.
But I could imagine that men who have, you know, who have, you know, done some ice-cold activities, that they could be worried.
You know, I really could imagine that.
I heard a crazy rumor today that someone's going to make accusations against James Franco, and that's going to be coming out next.
You know, I heard that today.
Is that true?
I don't know.
You know, there's a lot of rumors going around out here in Hollywood, but that's what I heard, that he has a movie coming out, and that before that, someone is going to drop an accusation in order to put him on the rocks.
Now, that could be total fiction.
You know, I don't know.
I'm just sharing stuff that I've heard, you know, because it's scary.
It's a scary time, even for dudes that aren't getting any.
I'm sure there's dudes who have just been in their apartment for a decade just J-O-ing to themselves, wondering if, you know, maybe one night they accidentally shot a load out a window and it might have, you know, landed on a shoulder dropped on a woman who was going to get some groceries or visiting or, you know, or putting some stuff in the recycling bin.
You know, but I think overall that it's, it's, change is always, it's always good.
You know, I think this kind of stuff is going to clear some of the air.
And when I think about what some women have been through sometimes, that's just got to be pretty dark.
You know?
Because every dude have nuts on him.
And in a man's nuts is a little bit of fire.
You know, in a man's nuts is a little bit of fire.
And sometimes that fire grows and sometimes that fire waits.
You know, and that's wild to think of.
You know, it's also, it's part of the, you know, it's part of the, what makes us, you know, humanity and existence and the Big Bang and everything.
It's part of what makes all that work, you know, is that that fire exists inside of a man's crotch and nuts.
But, you know, it's, you know, it's half of the element because you've got to have the fire and then you got to have something that will that will mate with the fire, you know, the kindling.
You know, and scientifically, that's what the, you know, that's the woman.
You know, it's like you have this dance between the fire and the kindling and then the flame creates, you know, that spark and the kindling.
But it's wild when you got a fellow, you know, some dudes running around out there, just a bunch of Luigis just slanging fireballs off into the distance, you know, hoping it just lands on some random lady, you know, passing by or laying out at a beach or just having a conversation.
There's some wildness going on, it's the dark arts, that's what it is.
And I'm going to tell you guys before we even get into the rest of this episode, what I want you, what I would love to have more calls in about are the dark arts.
Because the holidays are coming up.
And if you don't think that I'm a holiday boy, then you're wrong.
Okay?
My God, dude, I swear to you, when I was young, for my birthday, my mom's like, what kind of shoes do you want?
Do you want high tops?
And I said, no, I want those Christmas stockings.
That's what I want.
And she said, you can't, those aren't shoes.
She goes, those are just for the gifts at Christmas.
But for probably about eight months, I wore Christmas stockings as my socks.
You know, popping up out of my K-Swisses and popping up out of my BK nights.
And, you know, I loved Christmas so much that I wore Christmas stockings on my feet.
And that's truly wild, you know, when you really think about that activity.
But it's good to be here with you guys, man.
And I want you to call in.
If you've been, you know, if you've got an affliction of the dark arts, we had some good stories that came in this week about the dark arts.
And the dark arts is if you've had an affliction, you know, you caught up in the masturbation or you've been caught up in the, you know, getting into the seedy forces of dark nature, you know, or when you feel that little thing just tickling at the top, when you feel the devil just licking the top of your spinal column, whatever action you then take, it could be anything.
You know, you could be taping razor blades to a frisbee and throwing that thing into a, you know, out towards a bunch of majorettes, you know, out there dancing with their, you know, flag team or whatever.
Or you could be, you know, you could be drinking gasoline and then, you know, urinating in somebody's car trunk and throwing a match in there just to see if gas can make it through your body and see if you could fuck their trunk up.
You know, there's a lot of things you can be doing that are the dark arts.
And I want you guys to share some stories because I want us to purge ourselves.
You know, I want us to get this out of our system because we're about to come into the holidays.
You know, we're about to come into a time of reflection, a time of gratitude, a time of thanks.
And when we get there, I want us to be empty.
I want us to be empty of the things of these plagues that are within us.
I really do.
And I think we can do it, man.
I think we can do it, dude.
Man, my buddy had a cat that could eat Skittles.
Can you believe that shit?
My buddy had a cat that could eat Skittles when I was young.
And I mean eat them.
I just don't mean you could kind of rustle one into it.
I mean, eat them.
Eat them.
So that's pretty wild.
But yeah, we want to get those dark arts out.
So this coming episode is going to be a little bit about those dark arts, the one for next week.
But this week we had a lot of good calls, man, that came in.
We were talking about it.
And you know, the saddest thing, I didn't get any calls from any black listeners.
And so we may not have any black listeners.
And that's a little bit scary to me.
So my goal in this next couple days is to find some black friends and get them to call in and give a couple of two cents on how nervous do black people get.
Because to me, it seemed like black people never got nervous growing up.
And more specifically, black men, because those are the people that I was around the most.
You know, I was in a group when I was young called NFL.
And that was when I was in fifth and sixth grade, maybe seventh grade.
And you can guess what the N stood for.
I'm not allowed to say the word.
Little Wayne can say it, you know, if that, you know, throws any hints out the window.
But, you know, I would notice that my friends did not get nervous.
You know, my friends within that group did not get nervous.
We had the ears pierced and the, you know, the Chicago White Sox hat.
You know, we wrote NFL on our shirts and on our necks with charcoal and with lipstick sometimes.
Dark lipstick because one of my friends' mother wore dark, dark lipstick because she had moles on her lips and she tried to cover them up.
But let's get into some calls, man.
That was the topic, and I got some of you guys' thoughts, so here we go.
Hey, what's up, Theo?
This is Taylor from South Carolina.
What's up, Taylor, from South Carolina?
You know, I used to go to college of Charleston there, right there in Charleston, South Carolina.
And I was a bouncer.
I was a bouncer back in the day when I used to be on performance enhancing drugs.
And they apparently enhanced my performance so well that I was able to barely make minimum wage working the front door at an Irish bar.
So this boy came in there one time with my brother's ID.
He used a fake ID from Louisiana to get into this bar, and it happened to be my brother's, which is so bizarre because I barely even knew my brother very well at that time in my life.
And then to see his picture pop up right in front of me, it was pretty wild, man.
It was pretty.
Anyway, onward, let's hear some more.
I'm living out in Hollywood now.
Thought I'd throw my two cents in on this little black dude's getting nervous thing.
Okay, thank you for calling.
Let's hear more.
So I used to be a real big hater on Kanye.
Oh, man, I thought you were going to say, so I used to be a black dude.
I was going to be like, this is going to be good.
Used to be a big hater on Kanye.
Okay, I'm guessing Kanye West.
Let's hear more.
I always just thought that he was like a cocky asshole.
He had this one line that kind of turned things around for me because he had this line that says, I'm a black man with the confidence of a white man.
Hallelujah.
I'm a black man with the confidence of a white man.
Hallelujah.
Okay?
And I really respected him for that line because I thought that that was like his slick Kanye way of saying that he was a black man dealing with the insecurities that we all know white men have to deal with.
Because in my mind...
Okay, I don't follow that 100% because he's talking about confidence, but let's hear more.
Black guys are the most confident dudes on the planet and drunk white girls, but it's mostly like I've always thought that.
That's always been a stereotype in my head.
Agreed.
So when I heard that line and it changed things with the way I look at Kanye, and then I took it to my black friend to tell him how I felt about it.
And he was like, no, no, no.
And I had to flip the script and that it was like a stereotype on the opposite side that white guys are known for being the most confident in a black community.
So I think that it's just a misconception on both sides.
Okay, I'm going to stop you there.
It's a good thought.
You know, it's a misconception.
Maybe it's a misconception on both sides.
If your friend said that, you know, that he thinks that white men were the most confident, I guess it also could be environment-based, you know?
Like if I walk down the street in a black neighborhood, in, you know, I'll use an example that I'm familiar with, you know, in certain black neighborhoods in New Orleans, I might feel unconfident.
And a black guy might feel the same way in a white neighborhood, might feel unconfident and might even feel nervous, you know?
Or maybe black people have, you know, maybe because of the history they've had in America, maybe a lot or some or many black people operate at nervous.
And so we don't even notice it because it's so ingrained in the histories that they've had to live, you know, the environments that they've had to live in.
I mean, that's an interesting, you know, an interesting thought that's just kind of flying into my brain.
But I appreciate that call.
Maybe it's a misconception on both sides.
You know, maybe when black guys look at us, they think, man, those guys are so confident because why wouldn't they be?
You know, they, you know, I mean, going on to the white privilege thing that, you know, that white guys are so confident and comfortable in this world because it's their world, you know, or this is that, you know, that's an old idea.
I'm not saying that it's a white man's world, but, you know, that that could be a perception.
So I definitely, I got to get some black friends to weigh in on this, but I appreciate that call.
Let's hear another one right here.
Here we go.
Hey, what's up, Theo, Zach from Birmingham, Alabama.
Hey, Zach.
I'm coming to Birmingham next week, Maro.
Coming to Huntsville, actually, you know, tomorrow, Thursday.
I'll be there Thursday.
So today when you hear this.
Looking forward to seeing you in Huntsville this Saturday.
Oh, nice.
At the stand-up live there.
Wanted to call in and just drop a line about your topic for black people getting nervous.
I grew up as part of a four-man posse, middle school and high school, three of those being black.
One white, which was me.
I was the taxi as well.
Ironically, I was the only one with the car, but that was fine.
Yeah, that white jelly bean.
That's what they used to call me sometimes.
Because, you know, when we had in the NFL club, you know, everybody had some color, and then I was that white jelly bean, the one that, you know, doesn't really have a specific taste to it.
What the fuck is the taste of white jelly beans anyway?
That's some bullshit onward.
I had one of my good buddies, Jeff, grew up playing football with Jeff, middle school and high school.
And in high school, he would get so nervous before games that after warm-ups, before we took the field, he would throw up every single game.
Wow.
So that's a real, I mean, look, that's a real thing.
That dude's vomiting.
You know, because all vomit is, is whatever your feelings are trying to escape your body and using food as their mode of transportation.
So that's wild, dude.
So he had some fear, some feelings, some nervous energy trying to get out of his body, you know.
And Dark Jeff there is blowing it out.
You know what I'm saying?
He's going for that 17-point conversion out on the front yard before he even starts the football game.
Hmm.
All right.
For about six years there.
So that's consistent Jeff on that vomit.
Four years in high school, too, in middle school.
Well, everybody vomits in middle school, but still consistent Jeff, four years of vomiting.
Great player.
He's actually playing Arena League football now.
I'm not sure where, but he used to get so nervous that he would.
I'll tell you where, in an arena, bro.
Horrible joke.
Never tell him that one again.
Let's hear some more.
Throw up for every game and then get like three picks and a touchdown or something like that.
But yeah, black people definitely get nervous.
Maybe it's because, you know, they got such good skin, and maybe we just can't see the frowny wrinkles in there, the nervous wrinkles there.
I'm not sure.
Wow, that's a great point.
Yeah, we have a little bit more of a, if you have any radar for nervous energy, you can see it on a white person, you know, or on somebody that's light-skinned.
You can see it, you know.
You know, you can see, you know, the redness in their cheek or their neck.
You know, sometimes people's neck get a little pink when they nervous or they nerved up.
You know, you can see a little bit of, you know, you might see them sweating.
You know, you might see them a little bit more hectic.
You might see that.
It's interesting, man.
You know, and black people have had such, I mean, have had such a struggle in America.
I wonder if you, you know, evolve past nerves a little bit.
You know?
Like, fuck, how can I be nervous when I have so many other things to deal with?
You know?
And I, you know, and I hope this conversation isn't striking anybody as like a racist conversation.
I wish that I had, you know, a black person here to discuss it with, but at the same time, you know, it's okay and it should always be okay to talk about things and to voice ideas, thoughts, opinions, always, you know, to have a discussion.
And that sometimes I think is part of the problem in the mainstream is that you never get, there's never, everybody's opinion isn't taken into account.
You know, it's only one opinion a lot of times.
And I think that that's one of the problems, you know, that our country faces the most, is that a lot of mainstream media just wants to focus on one opinion and doesn't want to be a little bit more universal.
And that's why we get stuck in a lot of the problems I think we continually have in America is because we don't, you know, we're not getting all sides of the issue a lot of times.
We're not addressing all sides of issues.
Let's hear a little bit more.
I appreciate that call, man.
That was great.
That was really, really interesting.
You know, you're making me think there that we show it.
You know, our true colors come shining through.
Like, if you're nervous and you're white, that shit could flare up pretty easy.
But even with that said, I mean, I just remember, I mean, I just, and maybe a lot of it, I take it back to sports, you know, because that's where I spend a lot of time with my black friends.
But even like, I remember being high with my black buddies, and I would be so paranoid.
And rarely would I find or feel that my black friends were paranoid like that.
Like they had the same level or space inside of them for paranoia to bounce around.
God, it would be so amazing.
I heard that there's going to be virtual reality in the future.
I'm not sure where I read this, but where you can have an idea of what it's like to be another race.
And unfortunately, it won't be some, you know, hoity-toity liberal thing where it's just, you know, it's like you're a black guy walking through a mall and every white person in the mall turns and looks at you like you don't belong, you know, because a lot of that kind of stuff is bullshit.
You know, that's one thing that I don't like a lot of times is that, you know, a lot of media focuses the white opinion on black people is that it's not an opinion of understanding.
You know, I mean, when I was growing up, nothing really made me sadder a lot of times than, you know, seeing the level of poverty that some of my friends had, whether they were black or white, you know, or, you know, seeing the inherited poverty that comes on down.
You know, it's like, you know, when you're real poor, if your grandfather got a parking ticket, fucking, you might not go to college.
You know, that's how just one little slight can really adjust a generation or two.
You know, and I always felt, you know, I felt bad for my black friends that were, you know, that didn't have a parent or, you know, only had one parent.
It's not like I was blind, you know, to some of the plight.
And I don't feel like a lot of people were.
But I do think sometimes at the news, you know, a lot of these networks, they focus on like the only time people from my neighborhood were ever on the news was when, you know, they wanted to have an alien sighting.
That's the only time poor white people was on the news.
You get some idiot, you know, and it's on alien sighting.
You know, so I just feel like there's always been a very bad representation of what, you know, a lot of what it's really like for, you know, in some of these neighborhoods.
Especially what it's, you know, the view of poor white people.
You know, like that it was all people just running around with rebel flags and all this shit.
That was not my experience at all.
All right, let's hear a little bit more.
We've got some other cool callers here.
Here we go.
What up, Theo?
Big Edgar from San Fernando 818.
Big Edgar, San Fernando.
Now, Edgar, I just drove out through the Mojave.
And the Mojave, I don't even know what that's Spanish for, but I appreciate it.
Big Edgar, you know, I like, I love Latino culture, man.
I think, you know, my father's, you know, I'm Polish Nicaraguan.
My father was born and raised in Nicaragua.
And I, one thing I notice a lot about, I was thinking about Mexican dudes the other day trying to do this skit on stage where I tell a story about the first Mexican kid that I ever met.
And I think it's funny how like a lot of Mexican dudes, and maybe you can call back in, Edgar, if you hear this, why do a lot of Mexican dudes start talking like they're drowning, bro?
Like, you ever notice that?
Like, like Mexican dudes, if they're getting angry or something, they'll start looking straight up at the sky and talking, bro, like stretching their neck, like, what is like if they're arguing and stuff, it's like, it's like water is rising around them, bro, and I'm trying to get a rope.
And I could be crazy.
I could just be an absolutely racist on that.
But if not, man, let me know what you think.
Let's hear a little bit more, Edgar.
Thank you for calling from that 818.
And also, Edgar, if you get a chance, I got there's this girl, Raven Felix, who is a rapper from the 818, man.
She got a new album out called Vala Fornication.
She's in that Wiz Khalifa clique, and you can check out her stuff.
I don't know if she's from your hood, but she's from somewhere close, I bet.
Let's hear more.
Black people legit do not get nervous.
Okay, and now this is a Mexican guy telling us this.
So we're getting at least a little bit closer on that diversity chain, you know?
We're getting one link closer.
Here we go.
Thanks, Edgar.
More as a kid, man.
Paint the scene.
Paint this picture.
Eight, nine, ten years old or so.
Had a good friend named Stephen, black gentleman.
Whoa, okay.
So you had a good friend named Stephen, black gentleman.
But also, I'm going to tell you this straight up, Edgar.
I'm hearing some birds in the background.
You know?
And I know a bird sound when I've been around a bird sound because a huge crow one time flew into the back of my father's thunderbird and broke all the windows out with his beak.
And I remember, I'll never forget that, that glass falling, that bird being violent.
And my father was so old, he couldn't turn his neck, and he thought it was a black man back there because I kept saying black, black, and he thought it was a black man in the back of the carpet.
That was a black bird, a raven.
So I know a bird sound.
Also, another time I went to Vietnam when I was a student.
I went to Viet Freaking Nam to, you know, doing studies.
And while I was there, right when I got there, I was there on a ship.
I went there on a ship.
And this is a true story.
And right when I got there, we got off the ship and we told the taxi driver to take us.
We wanted to go to a museum.
But right, the taxi driver, first place they take you, prostitution place, hotel hookers, stuff like that.
So, right when I got there, they took me to a hooker place.
But I didn't know it was a hooker place.
We walk in, it's a pet shop, birds everywhere.
Birds, beautiful birds, tall birds, short birds, birds that are still growing.
So you don't really know how they're going to end up height-wise.
But then behind you, next thing you know, this lady pop out, this beautiful lady, and I'm like, damn, Vietnam has some of the finest matches selling pets.
You feel me?
Well, she take us in the back.
Next thing you know, me and two of my buddies are back there laying on beds, and the birds is just a front for prostitution.
You know, and they're trying to give us all a little bit of beak, you know what I'm saying?
And showing us their crotches and showing us their bee, their bu-ba-ba-ba, you know, bee holes and trying to get us to do sex.
You know, we're offering sex.
And I got nervous, man.
I got a little bit nervous, honestly, because you're, you know, laying right there with your buddies and it's, you know, like, you know, I get nervous sometimes in the sensuality areas.
And I ain't, you know what I'm saying?
I ain't training the seal in front of my buddies, if you know what I'm talking about.
I ain't training the seal in front of my buddies.
So, but let's hear more that black people definitely do not get nervous.
You had a friend onward.
Good family.
Kaiser parents.
Mom was a nurse.
Dad was some kind of janitorial services.
Okay, so you had a good friend whose mom was a nurse.
He came from a good family.
Onward.
Up at the Kaiser.
Very good, well-off family.
And Kaiser's a hospital, for those who don't know.
Let's hear more.
Always have the latest shit.
I remember he had that pad.
You would connect to the Nintendo, and my fat ass would run, and you would have to jump and do the fucking hurdles.
Anyway, dude, I remember that thing.
His older brother, Keith, green-eyed bandit, black gentleman, light-skinned gentleman.
Ooh, light-skinned Keith?
That counts.
That counts.
I did not know he robbed a bank, yo.
He robbed a fucking bank.
About six months, a year later, the house gets raided.
Wow.
Dude, I've always wanted to rob a bank, honestly.
I think inside of a man, in that fire that's in your nuts, we was talking about in the beginning, in that spark, you know, in that little bit of, in that NAD spark, in that sack, in that sack,
in that, you know, that little spark in that little, that little tricity, in that tricity that's, you know, chirping down in your nuts all the time, telling you to be a man, be a man, be a man, be a man.
It's that last flicker of existence from the Great Beyond, from our forefathers, you know.
It's that little whisper that's down in your fucking, in your wick.
It's that little whisper in your wick.
You know, I think in there, that thing also tells you to rob a bank, rob a bank sometimes.
But let's hear more.
So he did rob a bank.
Long story short, Theo.
I know we're limited.
The house gets raided.
Helicopters, 10 units, the whole nine.
He finally gives himself up after a couple hours.
Comes out smoking a cigarette like a fucking G. Hands down.
You know, not even obeying command.
Nothing.
Dogs barking.
Helicopter, smoking a cigarette.
Put his hands up, taking the cigarette out, putting it down, walking.
And I remember looking at this from across the street like, what the fuck?
Black people do not get nervous, my man.
Wow.
I mean, look, that's a first-hand account.
First of all, one helicopter would make me nervous.
You know, it definitely would piss me off if I'm trying to sleep.
And I've had that happen many times here in Los Angeles.
But that's for real.
You heard him talking about that robber Keith, that bank robber.
When brothers be bank robbering, they still don't be getting nervous.
Man, that's wild.
Set the cigarette down.
Oh, you think I'm nervous?
Street, hold my cigarette.
Let's hear more.
Hey, Ethio, this is Derek from Washington State.
Hey, Derek, Washington State, dude.
Good place to be.
You can open your mouth and clean water will just fall in it sometimes.
Onward.
Colin.
Yeah, I had a couple of black friends.
Find that hard to believe in your neck of the woods, but let's hear more.
I'm just joking, brother.
Onward.
When I was in the army, and let me tell you, when we were in Afghanistan, I saw a couple of nervous black guys, and they were fucking nervous as hell.
Well, I appreciate that, man.
Hey, thank you for your service, dude.
I think people that serve in the military should be able, that their votes should count for one and a quarter votes.
That's just a thought of mine.
You know, people can think whatever they want about their own thoughts.
You know, if you don't think that their vote should count for one and a quarter votes, that's fine.
I'm okay with you don't think that.
But thank you for your service, dude.
I appreciate it.
Braver man than I. Yeah, there you go.
Well, and that's frontline stuff.
And you're talking about Afghanistan.
You're talking about being in a real place where there is real, you know, and that's a unique fear that we can't replicate.
You know, I can't replicate that fear on Halloween.
You know, I can't replace that.
You know, that's not a fear that we can replicate easily, you know, by letting a mouse, you know, sharpening up a mouse's teeth and letting him loose, you know, at the cotillion or letting him loose at the, you know, at grandma's house.
You know, that's not something we can easily replicate.
You know, creating a war environment, creating a defending America environment, creating being in a foreign land environment.
So then that makes me think there's certain environments where it doesn't matter race, ethnicity, culture.
I think culture could play more of a part, though.
Because when I think about the black dudes that I grew up with, I would not think they got nervous.
When I think about some of the black dudes I see now, you know, definitely seem a little bit more nervy, you know, you know, more chill black, like, you know, a lot of, you know, just mixed black dudes, a lot of, you know, more nerves, more nerves, dude.
And maybe that comes with just some of these, you know, some, finally, some black people being able to be raised in places where they have less, you know, they're not under the affliction of constant anxiety because of their race.
You know, that could be it.
Or, you know, black kids growing up in, you know, statistically better homes and stuff like that or having more opportunity.
You know, maybe that's not that, you know, maybe they're not so defense.
Maybe there's not like a defense going on.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm brainstorming here.
But I appreciate that call and thank you again for your service.
Let's hear more.
We got a couple more.
Hey, Theo, this is Ty from Texas.
Hey, Ty.
And I just wanted to share this story about a time that a black friend of mine did get nervous.
And I was the cause, actually.
Ooh, old Ty, the old Tinato, dude.
Let's hear more, Ty.
Thank you.
This black friend, he enjoyed his marijuana.
Brothers on that leaf.
And look, I tell you this, I seen a brother one time just smoke a whole joint.
Smoke a whole joint and then get on a balance beam.
And I don't even know if I know a white man who could do that.
Let's hear some more.
I was smoking a little bit one time.
I was hanging out with him, and we were watching TV.
And I stood up to go grab a drink out of the kitchen.
And on my way midway, I stopped because something interesting had happened on the TV.
And then I was just standing there in the middle of the room.
Well, he looked up at me and he goes, hey, man, what you doing?
I was like, what?
He goes, what are you doing over there?
You're making me nervous.
He's like, why am I making you nervous, man?
I'm just going to get a drink out of the kitchen.
He goes, I don't know, man.
When white people stand up like that, that's how shootings and shit start happening.
And I thought it was hilarious at the time, but that is both a time that a black friend of mine got nervous.
And that's some real shit, bro.
Whenever a white guy stands up, you got to think about a gun popping out these days.
Anyway, thank you.
Yeah, well, I appreciate that, man.
I don't know if, you know, I don't know if we know white guy since you have a gun popping out these days.
I don't know.
You know, the last line, yeah, it was some, sure.
I mean, I think, you know, everybody got guns.
You know, people have guns for sure.
But no, I think that's interesting, dude.
And maybe that goes back to, yeah, it's like fast-moving white people.
That could make black people nervous.
You know, that could make black people nervous.
And a lot of this also, you know, if you live in Beverly Hills, this conversation might not even make any sense to you.
If you've always grown up in Beverly Hills or if you've always grown up in, you know, some fancy neighborhood in Seattle, you know, where your neighborhood is mostly white people, maybe a couple of Asian people, you know, I mean, a lot of these thoughts,
I think, and a lot of my own personal relationship to this conversation came from my own environment, you know, and that was more of a poverty environment, more of a racially tense,
overall, you would assume racially tense, the South, more of a rural environment, not as much Southern, because, you know, they'd have new rebel flags in our neighborhood, you know, but more of a tense environment, you know, more of a Southern environment.
But yeah, that could be something that makes black guys nervous.
You know, I now just feel, I feel like we got to make that.
Obviously, the next thing is we have to get some black opinions, some opinions from African-American, mixed guys, Blaysian.
I'm going to hit a couple dudes up and see what's going on.
Some friends of mine and see if I can get them to call in and I can give those on the upcoming episode.
But thank you for that call.
All right, let's hear a little bit more.
Theo, bro, this is Matt from Cleveland.
Your boy One-Legged Patrick had a couple of good points about things that make black people nervous.
And One-Legged Patrick is the dude who called in on this past Monday episode, the episode on the 13th, and he referenced a conversation that I had on the fighter and the kid, which is what kind of spurned this whole conversation.
So, yeah, he had some good points.
Let's hear more.
Thank you for calling.
He beat me to the paternity test one.
But two things off the bat that come to mind that black people get extremely nervous about.
Dogs, I don't know why, but anytime you see any kind of dog around a black person, they get nervous.
And second, any swimming pool that is deeper than they are tall.
Yeah, I mean, those are some, yeah, dogs for sure.
When I was growing up, they had, you know, in some neighborhoods, you know, black families had one type of dogs or two or three different types of dogs, and then white family had other types of dogs.
You know, black families had more defense dogs, and white families have more peacetime dogs, you know, dogs that weren't on active duty, you know, dogs that were more like in the National Guard.
You know, whereas black men, black families have more dogs that were Rottweilers, Pit Bulls, more aggressive type dogs, which made me so nervous.
You know, and I don't know if that was part of it.
Maybe it was, you know, at those times, and we're talking in, when I was growing up, we're talking early 90s, you know, or mid-90s.
You know, and that's, you know, a time when there was not, you didn't see much black wealth in America.
You saw a lot more disparity.
You know, the only wealthy black men I ever even saw, and not even personally, were in that movie Coming to America or were athletes.
And, you know, that was my truth that I saw, you know.
But yeah, the dog thing was definitely true.
And then a lot of Black neighborhoods didn't have pools, you know, so I think pools were more of like a white person type of country club type of thing.
Like I remember my buddy Devin, his family got one of those big kind of cistern things, and we would bathe out there.
You know, we'd swim out there, kind of just fill it up with water.
And yeah, black kids, I remember him and his sisters and everybody got, would definitely kind of get nervous in the water, have fun, but be nervous because I think they just didn't spend as much time in it.
They weren't as used to it, you know.
So that's interesting, though.
Do black people get nervous?
And I would remember that while, because sometimes we would, you know, like bathe, sometimes his mom would bring out the shampoo and we'd all bathe out in the cistern thing in the yard.
And, you know, we were kids, you know, so we weren't doing nothing perverse.
But people had their genitalia around.
You know, you could see, you know, if you was looking downward, you could probably see some different genitalias.
And it was definitely a little bit unique.
You know, I remember that was unique because they would, him and his sisters would get nervous.
And his little brother would get nervous when the water was on them.
So that's one thing.
So maybe some of this goes down to comfortability, you know.
But why in a general way did a lot of my black friends not seem nervous?
I think it's time for me to get them to call in.
And I tried this week.
You know, one of them didn't want to deal with the hotline.
So I'm going to reach out to a couple more and see if I can just get it done quicker.
This was a fast turnaround, and I'm not used to doing this Thursday episode, but I was happy to do it this week.
But those are some good calls.
Those are some things we had in response.
I appreciate everybody for calling in, hitting the hotline, 985-664-9503.
You know, assuming what happens over my weekend or in the world, you know, on the Monday episode, ideally, I'd like to think about, you know, what's going on with men these days and the fear that is out there.
You know, some of this response to the Louis C.K., I might put that up separately in the next couple days if I can, or I might address it on Monday.
But yeah, it's a wild time.
It's a unique time in the world.
And that's something to be embraced, you know?
That's something that's cool.
I think we're at a time now where we all are able to talk about things.
Now, some outlets, some environments, you know, I reference the news and stuff a lot, but I don't think that they want us to find comfortability as humans.
I think that a lot of these, because if you look at two different networks, they don't even have the same news.
So how can it be news?
It's not news.
It's all opinion.
I used to love yahoo.com, and that website has gone to shit.
It's just a bunch of hateful shit.
You know?
And I'm all about thinking, but if we just sit here and hate, then we're not doing something.
We're not doing the best service we can to ourselves.
But I appreciate you guys calling.
Hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
It is actually, I want to be completely transparent with you guys.
It's Wednesday night here right now.
So I got to get this done and get it posted so I can catch the plane in just a little bit.
But be good to yourselves.
I bet you deserve it.
All right.
Onward.
Celebrate living.
Celebrate misery.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
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