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Oct. 27, 2017 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

35:56

This Past Follow Up: Brock | This Past Weekend #48

Theo discusses his rare grandparent, plays callers thoughts about Brock's height scarcity and confidence. Original Episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ct-VmKp2klM&t=56s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theovon https://www.greyblockpizza.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	This past follow-up brought to you by Gray Block Pizza G-R-E-Y Block Pizza in Los Angeles Pico Boulevard over by the beach get your life get your pie all right Let's do something here All right,
	it's Thursday oh that's that dirty beat right there Man, that sound like somebody trying to Trying to fuck on a space shuttle, doesn't it?
	That sound like somebody trying to finger bang you right off the coast of Mars, baby right off the coast of Pluto That's Jesse Lucero send in some beautiful music.
	That's Jesse Lucero and I don't I don't know I've never met Jesse Lucero, but they um they dropped me some beautiful music and that's Jesse Lucero that could be a man or a woman and that could be Spanish Lucero what I don't even know what lucero means probably when you catch uh when you catch um when you catch an animal with a rope um and then it when it gets free es lucero donde es el gato oh
	yo lo siento el gato es lucero and that's when you lose the cat but it's thursday man it's thursday evening um thursday afternoon here on the west coast i got to go to a wedding in a few minutes somebody a friend of mine i guess i call him a friend at this point is having a wedding thursday afternoon 5 30 p.m in malibu right dude you know how hard it is to get to malibu there's one way in one way out the pch it's going to be miserable
	this is a way to lose friends when you have a wedding like that you know what i'm saying that's like saying hey look i'm gonna have a wedding um you know i'm gonna have a wedding i'm gonna have it on the top of this mountain so you got to hike up there it's a two-day hike you know you're not gonna have any friends dude your parents ain't even gonna make it up there you know some of this wedding shit man you know somebody invited me to a wedding in africa what the dude you think africa bruh
	you know what i'm saying like i got like i got 10 days just to get over to africa and enjoy myself he's like well just come for a day i'm not going to africa for a day who goes to africa africa dude the cradle of civilization i'm just gonna stop by for a couple hours are you out of your fucking brain have somebody cracked into your brain and taken out the good parts and
	he's gonna i can already tell he's gonna get upset when i don't come i can already tell that's crazy that's like saying hey let me have both your arms let me have both of your arms and somebody's like nah man i need my arms you know i'm trying to hug and i'm trying to you know go get the mail and not have to not have to open the mail with my feet you know i'm trying to do things what the bro i don't know what's going on anymore you know i really don't sometimes when it's that kind of shit
	but anyhow i'm happy to be here with you guys on this thursday evening this friday morning whenever you catch this vibe i don't know when this is coming out but uh this is the this past follow-up and i had a call that came in um i wanted to respond to this dude brock's call we had a lot of callers that responded to brock so if you don't know about brock he called on the original podcast you know oh and here's brock's original call and this was on the podcast this past weekend um here's brock's original call let's get into that here we go hey
	theo it's uh brock university of central missouri uh so i got a question for you how to handle something um so i'm uh i'm kind of short i don't really uh got a lot of confidence in myself when i uh i'm at the bars with other people because you know i don't really know how to talk to a girl or do anything like that okay i'm gonna interrupt you right there brock i appreciate
	your call just like i appreciated it on the monday episode but i'm gonna tell you this my grandfather grew two inches in his 50s so let me drop that into your fucking brain holes into your side holes into your fucking sound spouts my grandfather grew two inches in his 50s you know something happened to him something in his plates and his you know i don't know what happened dude plate tectonic shift down in his genetics and padal next thing you know achilles that was my grandfather's name
	achilles and that's true story my father's name was theodore achilles and he was suddenly two inches taller and apparently um he didn't get along with my grandmother after that him and my grandmother they had issues after that so and if that tells you anything brock that tells you that sometimes showing up small at first and maybe forever can be to your benefit because this was the love of his life you
	know this was the love of his life and when he grew taller when he stretched out you know when god hit him with that magic two spot in his 50s then he wasn't in love anymore so man that's really when you think about that that at that height and that size and whatever stature he was at that that's where love met him best and then height became an affliction for him as he aged height became
	an affliction for that man and somehow just the gravitational pull the balance the you know the vertica horizonticus whatever it was that spell that meshed him in with this bride of his this this you know my grandmother um it fell off and so man there was something there was magic in being small but uh but that was uh let's finish up your call here you go so uh yeah man i don't know uh I don't know how
	to handle it, man.
	I just get in my head.
	I don't know how to overcome that.
	Seems like you could have some good advice on this one.
	Let me know.
	Thanks, man.
	Bye.
	And I'm going to get to some advice.
	We had some callers that called in.
	I'm going to jump into those.
	But I'll tell you this, Brock.
	We all have, you know, insecurities and things that make us feel less than.
	At night, I'll be wearing a neck brace at night.
	You know, because I want to stretch my neck out a little bit because I've always thought I had a small neck.
	You know, I've always thought I've been a little bit shy in the neck, you know.
	And the neck really is just that fifth arm.
	A neck is just that chubby fifth arm that's coming out the middle of your torso at the top.
	You know, and people could say this or say that.
	No, that's what it is, you know.
	It's that fifth appendage.
	It's that third arm.
	It's that, you know, it's that short upper leg.
	You know, that's all it is.
	It's that fifth appendage.
	It's that magical fifth appendage, the neck.
	Now, unfortunately, the other appendages, they don't hold much.
	You know, two of them have a hand, two of them have a foot.
	But that neck, that's the one holding onto your head, man.
	That's the one running around with that crystal ball in its grasp.
	And I've always wanted a better neck, a longer neck.
	And so you'll catch me sometime in the evening relaxing with a cool drink and a neck brace on.
	You know, and that's so, you know, we all are short somewhere.
	We're all short of something.
	I want you to know that.
	But let's get to some calls that came in for Brock.
	Here we go.
	Here we go right here.
	Hey, Theo.
	Hey, bro.
	I love the podcast, man.
	You're a bad motherfucker.
	Hey, man, I'm calling from Tacoma, Washington.
	Tacoma, Washington, good place to square dance and eat granola.
	You'd be surprised.
	Onward?
	In regards to Brock from last week, I just want to let him know that I'm also short and troll-like.
	Wow, that's that double.
	When you come in a little bit troll-ish, you know?
	And look, I'll say for myself, I've always looked like a cross between Tom Brady and Shrek.
	And so I know I got a little bit of that magical, you know, I got a little bit of those magical tree-loving and tree-living type of ogre qualities in me onward.
	But, hey, I wanted to encourage him, you know, in his pursuit and wanted to see or to encourage him for taller women.
	You know, opposites attract.
	And, you know, if you had kids, you know, they could get the height from her.
	Wow, that's a really great point.
	Opposites attract.
	And then another follow-up point there that, yeah, if you don't feel that burden to carry the height onto a child, because you can also grasp that height from a woman, you know, from the other.
	So 50% of it's her responsibility, you know, when it comes to the genetics onward.
	You know, even better.
	Who doesn't want big, strong kids, you know?
	And but a word of caution, just with taller women comes taller limbs.
	You know, it's easier to get kicked in the head while doing sex.
	Damn.
	So just be careful.
	There you go.
	And there you go.
	The taller limbs, that's dangerous, you know.
	I mean, say you're trying to rescue a woman.
	You know, if there's a fire and you're trying to rescue your lady, it's easy to rescue a smaller lady.
	Throw her on your back, you know?
	Wrap her around your waist, tie her around your waist.
	But you got a long drink of water.
	You know, you got to drag her by the arms.
	You got to get help.
	You know, you got to put wheels.
	You got to put a skateboard under her.
	Much tougher to rescue a longer woman.
	But those are some good points.
	I appreciate that call.
	And those are words just for you, Brock, there in central Missouri, which is actually swinger country.
	So you could meet a man or woman out there.
	But let's keep it going, Brock.
	We had a lot of good souls that called in, man.
	This stuff boosted my, this boosted, this made my day today with these calls that came in the past few days.
	Here we go.
	Onward.
	Hey, Theo.
	Hey, bro.
	I love the podcast, man.
	You're a bad motherfucker.
	Oh, that's the same call.
	All right, here we go.
	Onward.
	Yo, what up, Theo?
	This is Henrik from Los Angeles, and I was just listening to your boy, Barack.
	Thanks for calling, Henrik.
	I was having some issues and insecurities based on his height.
	And I am very familiar with that topic.
	I'm like 5'6.
	My whole life I've been insecure, thinking girls will never look at me because everything you hear since you're a little kid is, oh, I want a tall, handsome man.
	That's what women say.
	That's true.
	I'm going to interrupt you there, Henrik.
	I'm sorry.
	But that's a good point.
	You do hear that.
	You know, it's this thing that gets put in our heads.
	You know, we're always talking about the things that get put in women's heads.
	You know, when some of these ladies got the dark arts wrapped up in their skull, you know, they got this just damn, you know, I mean, these ladies are, you know, they got vanilla dreams in their head, but they out here watching Snapped and watching murder shows and being addicted to murder.
	But anyhow, that's a great point that as men, you got to excuse me, I'm having a candy corn right now.
	I found one on my desk.
	But as men, we are, we get overwhelmed with the idea that tall, dark, and handsome, you know?
	Tall, dark, and handsome is always that motto, you know.
	Oh, I want a man that's tall, dark, and handsome.
	It's not a dude that's short and have some scoliosis, you know, with a mole, you know.
	It's not a dude that only gots nine fingers and likes to bicycle.
	That's not the motto, you know.
	It's not, you know, short, loud, and splotchy.
	That's not the motto.
	It's tall, dark, and handsome.
	So that's an affliction that we're born trying to live up to.
	And that's artificial.
	That's a really good point.
	Henrik, let's take more.
	I was raised to like think until I started just noticing that me just being myself and loving myself and saying, you know, well, fuck it.
	It is what it is.
	Just living my life, you know, taking care of myself.
	I was healthy, I have a nice body and everything.
	And started noticing that actually I'm pretty good at getting girls.
	Girls are kind of coming up to me.
	I'm always quiet, shy.
	Somehow, women would always come up to me.
	They would actually initiate stuff or like send their friends to tell me that their friend thinks I'm cute and stuff.
	There you go.
	There you go.
	Like sometimes being shy and quiet can be to your advantage.
	That's what Henrik's telling you right there, Brock, is that, and that's true.
	I mean, Henrik's coming in sounding like that silent killer.
	You know, he stays off in the cut.
	He's silent, but then he's killing it when it comes to the ladies.
	He's that silent killer, emphysema, I think is what it usually is.
	Or strokes or something, whatever, that silent killer.
	They always say, the silent killer, emphysema.
	Whatever is killing a lot of seniors.
	But that sometimes, you know, it's not always that outgoing, loud, boisterous dude, you know?
	Because I can be loud sometimes, you know.
	My default a lot of times when it's around women was to be loud, you know, be goofy or be funny, say something, you know, jarring or, you know, spitting this girl's hair one time, and I feel bad about that still, and that was in, I think, sixth grade.
	But to do something like that, you know, some obtuse activity, you know, something big, something loud.
	But a lot of times women don't want that.
	They want a peaceful man.
	So if you're shy, I mean, another way to look at that is peaceful, you know, so you're not just afflicting yourself by accusing yourself of being shy, you know.
	You might also just be at peace.
	You might just be calm.
	But if you're framing it as being shy to yourself, then that's, then it's looked at by you or it's felt, it can be felt by you as a hindrance or as a hurdle, you know.
	It's usually that quiet dude that got that fine little lady on him, you know?
	It's just sometimes you'll see a deaf dude with a beautiful horse.
	And I remember that growing up.
	They had a field near the edge of our, kind of the far end of our neighborhood.
	And they had a deaf, I don't know if it was a boy or a man.
	Sometimes the deaf can really, you know, you don't know where they're at on the, on the calendar, you know, on the, on the big picture calendar, age.
	But I didn't know if it was a boy or a man, but he had a beautiful horse.
	So you just, it's not always the loud one that catches that pretty pony.
	Let's take another call here for you.
	Here we go.
	Hey, Theo.
	Hope you're doing well, brother.
	I wanted to talk about our boy Brock from Missouri who called in last week, give him a little advice.
	I know he's a little insecure about his height and speaking to women.
	B-Rock, man, we're all different animals.
	You know, we walk different.
	We talk different.
	We smell it different.
	I had a Saudi roommate in college.
	He smelled like hookah and nut fog.
	But anyway, the truth.
	Damn, hookah and nut fog.
	I never even heard of nut fog.
	Now, I used to share a room with a chow.
	Not the dog, actually a Chinese boy.
	And he, to me, he had a smell of kind of a smoky smell.
	You know, something you would use to kind of spice up meats.
	And that was exciting to be around him.
	But after a while, even that gets kind of makes you ill a little.
	Let's hear more, brother, onward.
	The truth is, man, any insecurities that you have about yourself, women have more, man.
	It's like X plus one.
	You know, any inadequacies you feel, women feel those too, man.
	And when you're talking to women, you're nervous.
	They're just as nervous as you are, dude.
	So get out there and get your hands dirty, man.
	Wow, there you go.
	Get your hands dirty.
	You know?
	And that's a good point, man.
	Sometimes we forget sometimes, dude, it's so crazy, bro.
	And like, I'm glad you called it and asked this question, bro.
	Because it's got all of us thinking now.
	You know, yeah, sometimes we are so, it's almost a fault of our ego in a weird way.
	It's like we think we're the only ones with a problem.
	You know, it's like you go talk to the, you know, talk to someone, you know, say, let's use your example.
	You're approaching a girl, you know, and you're thinking to yourself, man, dude, she doesn't like me or she thinks I'm less than or I'm not.
	You don't even think about what she's thinking.
	She might be thinking, nobody's even talked to me this month, you know, or, you know, maybe I have, you know, my skin isn't right or, you know, something about my weight or the way I carry myself, you know, it's like, and women are more prone to those things.
	It seems like.
	I think in time and recently men have become more prone to those things, you know.
	But historically, women have been.
	So that's a good point, man.
	Like, you know, and sometimes a good way to meet somebody is by taking something that you know is an insecurity of theirs, that you would just guess, you know, and say to them, oh, you know, oh, you have really pretty eyes, you know?
	Say she wears glasses.
	Say, oh, yeah, I think you have really pretty eyes.
	And say it real, you know, and be real about it.
	If you, you know, you don't have to lie to her, you know, but just think of something that, oh, well, that might be an insecurity for that person, you know?
	They got big feet.
	I like your feet.
	You know, I like what you're standing on.
	I like your pedestals.
	You know?
	Like, I remember, you know, like I have a big nose.
	This girl told me one time when I was young, she said, you got a naga nose.
	She used the n-word, you know, you got a nigga nose.
	This black girl would tell me that all the time.
	You know, like, I got a nose like a black kid, you know?
	And that was her perception.
	And I got a wide nose, you know.
	I mean, I might be slightly urban.
	You know, I'm wide in the crotch as well.
	So, you know, I mean, game recognize game, dude.
	You know, when my nose sees my dick, they recognize each other, you know, because I'm thick down there and thick up top, you know, and that's nature.
	That's my nature.
	But it made me feel insecure, you know, and sometimes still does make me feel insecure, man, you know.
	I mean, I could, dude, I could label 30 things about myself that I wish I could change.
	But sometimes I would notice if a girl said to me would like touch money, like, oh, you have a cute Nose or something like that, that just immediately it takes away whatever those insecurities are.
	That can be a really great way to flirt with somebody because everybody has them, you know.
	Everybody has them, man.
	I just got a dang email.
	You know, if these fucking people don't fix this shit, I've asked him a million times, just pay the bill.
	Oh, Christ.
	But let's keep it on, man.
	Great, great calls.
	I appreciate this.
	Let's hear some more.
	Hey, if this is Punk Ass from Baltimore.
	I definitely agree with some of the advantages you said.
	Wrestling, finding things on the ground.
	Something you may have forgotten.
	Fitting in places in general.
	I mean, I got a friend who drives a little car.
	He's 6'5.
	Every day looks like a stress just to go to work.
	And there you go.
	That's Punk As from Baltimore, and he's saying that every day is a stress to go to work for his friend who ended up in a mini Cooper or some type of small vehicle, you know?
	And that's true, too.
	You know, you see a tall guy, if you see a tall dude on a bicycle, he always looks like he stole it, you know?
	Because it don't fit for him.
	It never fits.
	If you're tall and you're getting into some pants, dude, take you probably six extra seconds to get into some pants.
	You know, because you've got to travel probably an extra three feet, you know, a foot and a half on each leg.
	So it's just, you know, there's advantages and disadvantages to everything.
	Let's hear another one.
	Here we go.
	Hey, Theo.
	Hope you're doing well, brother.
	Oh, we already listened to that one.
	All right, let's hear another one.
	Here we go.
	What's up, brother?
	Calling from Colorado with some bites for Brock.
	Sounds like a young man, so I thought I could maybe help him out a little bit.
	Thank you for the call.
	Onward.
	Theo kind of mentioned, you know, we all have stuff, and he's true, right?
	Like, some dudes are skinny, some dudes are fat, some dudes are poor, some dudes, you know, maybe our subconscious selfie and rich, who knows?
	But the point is that everyone has some kind of shit that they have to overcome before they can talk to, you know, somebody of the opposite sex.
	So keep that in mind and just say, fuck it, man, and go for it.
	And if you see somebody worth talking to, go and talk to them.
	And the other thing to remember.
	And that's a good point.
	It's that everybody has a hurdle to overcome.
	And let me say this to you, Brock, man, is that I don't know how old you are.
	I think you said you were young and you're in college there, so you're young, you know?
	Or you're young, you know, on the 100-year span, you're young, you know, you're in that 20 or, you know, 20-year range or whatever.
	So the things that are the most challenging to you now, I know you can't see it, dude, but I promise you will be the things that will be most rewarding to you in the future, you know?
	And if you don't have any challenges, you're going to be a piece of shit, odds are.
	If you don't have any struggle, then you're not going to know struggle.
	And if there's one thing, and I had a caller remind me of this recently, I think it may have been on one of the episodes, was that if I didn't have my life and I didn't have my struggle and I didn't have the things that I hated about myself or the things that I have hated, then I wouldn't be able to, then there's no journey.
	Then there's no journey, dude.
	You know?
	And in the end, that's what it's about, man.
	It's about your story.
	You know?
	What's your story?
	You were a beautiful, perfect looking kid.
	You went to med school, you know?
	You married a girl.
	You had two kids.
	She's blonde hair.
	You got two beautiful kids.
	You know, you get a golden retriever.
	Y'all got some plants.
	Y'all live in Boston and a brownstone.
	You know?
	Her father dies of Alzheimer's.
	The mother comes and lives with you.
	You take care of the mother, kind of, but not really.
	You know?
	You guys go for weekends in Maine and that's your life?
	Well, guess what, man?
	I just could guess your life because that's laid out.
	You know, that's an easy one.
	No struggle.
	There's no turns.
	There's no turns if that's your life.
	But that's not your life, dude.
	You're blessed, bro.
	You are blessed with some struggle.
	And you're not going to recognize it now, you know, fully.
	And I'm not trying to preach at you.
	I just, I don't want your spirit to be sitting there hurting, man, because, you know, I've spent years, years of my life hurting for things that I didn't need to be hurting for just because I was unable to hear other people talk about it.
	And then just to know I wasn't alone.
	So, you know what I'm saying?
	You're not going to be typical, man.
	You're not typical, bro.
	That's amazing.
	I think that's amazing.
	Let's take another caller here.
	Here we go.
	And this may have been everyone.
	Oh, we got, let's continue that call.
	I'm sorry I interrupted.
	There's a second part to that.
	Is that it's that team for women, too.
	You know, if you're self-conscious about being short, I guarantee you that whoever you're going to go talk to is self-conscious about something.
	But if you are willing and able to go talk to them, that might make them feel good because then they'll say, oh, somebody's looking past, you know, my own insecurities.
	So maybe this is a good dude.
	So anyway, man, yeah, hope that helps.
	That's a good point.
	That's a great point, man.
	And I appreciate that call from Colorado.
	A lot of good people out there.
	And that brings up another thought to me is that, you know, if you make that effort, and here, sometimes I put the girls on such a pedestal that I was unable to even approach them because I put them in this realm where I couldn't, where no matter what I said was automatically going to be wrong.
	No matter what they were already, you know, they were this, you know, they looked seven times better than they even looked.
	You know, and the truth is that once you look at somebody for about three or four seconds and you're not afraid to break eye contact with them and stuff, they get a lot more real.
	So then you're not battling this image, you know, of whatever, you know, of women or of this, of a particular girl, you know, like then you're actually talking to a real person.
	You know, and sometimes I forgot that I was talking even to a real person.
	I got so insecure in my head about approaching women that sometimes I forgot, I was like, oh, women, here's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl.
	It wasn't Even like, oh, here's a person.
	Let's see if I even like them.
	Let's see if they even like me.
	I automatically had it pegged in my head that I wasn't a match for women, or that I wasn't a match for a girl just because she was pretty.
	You know, I believe that about myself.
	I was like, man, I'm not a match for this girl.
	She's pretty.
	Why would she like me?
	But another way to look at this shit was, would I even like her?
	And half the time, I realized that most women, I don't even have, I don't like them at all.
	I respect them and I think they're good people.
	But I don't have, but I'm just saying I don't have an attraction for them.
	Even though in my head, it was all about whether or not they had an attraction for me.
	Anyhow, let's go onward.
	I think we got one more here.
	Hey, Theo, this is Nick from Las Vegas.
	I got a little bit of advice for that Brock guy.
	You bet, Nick.
	Thanks for the call, brother.
	Onward.
	Who's a little worried about being short?
	He's got low confidence.
	Remember a couple things, man.
	It's not about your height.
	It's not about your looks.
	It's about your attitude.
	If you believe in yourself, if you have good things to offer, you'll get ladies.
	You'll have things to talk about.
	You know, I hear a lot of people say that they're bored all the time, and I always remember this saying, you're not bored, you're boring.
	Stop being boring.
	Go out there, live an exciting life, and you'll find things to talk about with people.
	You'll have interests and hobbies and whatnot, and it'll come naturally.
	Beyond that, maybe stop trying to meet ladies at bars.
	Wow.
	Boom.
	That's a good point.
	That's a good point.
	And look, man, for years I was out there.
	I was thinking that that's where I had to meet a lady.
	That's a really great point.
	I mean, that first point is great.
	You know, the more circles you put yourself in, and I was talking to Joe Rogan the other day, man, I was having a tough time, and he's listening to me at the improv.
	And, you know, a good dude, man, you know, to, you know, he's listening to me and he's saying, you got to stay busy.
	You know, you got to find things to do.
	You can't wait for your life to just show up the way you want it to look.
	You need to be out making your life.
	And he's right.
	And I remember a girl told me that one time, what our caller just said.
	A girl told me I was at the UCLA Recreation Center.
	And she asked me, what had been going on?
	A girl that I thought was cute.
	She's like, what's been going on?
	I said, ah, not much.
	You know, just I'm just bored.
	And she said, well, if you're bored, you're boring.
	And that stuck with me because the truth was, dude, I was boring.
	There wasn't anything special to my life.
	You know, there was some things going on, but there wasn't some things I was doing.
	And the more you do, the more people you meet.
	And guess what?
	Some of them people are going to be girls.
	I don't care if it's painting.
	I don't care if it's fucking juggling.
	I don't care if it's, you know, stretching and yoga and trying to look up your own asshole.
	More stuff you do, more people you're going to meet.
	Because guess what?
	Everybody likes to try and look up their ass at least once.
	I don't care if they're man or woman.
	Onward.
	You know, if you go get into a yoga class, you might meet a lady there.
	You start going to the library, checking out books, you might meet a lady or whatever you're into there.
	Hey, if you can check out books, you can check out bitches.
	Feel me?
	Onward.
	You know, get out and live life and stop going and sitting in front of a bartender every night.
	And maybe some good things will happen, man.
	And I'm only speaking from experience, not speaking down on Brock or anybody else who's in that position.
	I've been there myself.
	So just get out there and live it, man.
	Thanks for the podcast, you know.
	Take it easy, bro.
	Thank you, Nick.
	That was Nick from Vegas, dude.
	And that's the calls that came in.
	And honestly, I don't think we could have ended on a better one, man.
	That was pretty cool.
	I mean, and I literally just put these in an order and just went right down them.
	And I don't think we could have ended on a better note.
	You know, that's just, you know, we all out here.
	You know, we're all out here.
	You know?
	And at least you're out here being real.
	Let me tell you this, Brock.
	You know, you're out here caring about what's going on in your life.
	That's a big head start.
	You got a big head start, dude.
	At 20 years old, you're caring about your own self-confidence.
	You're caring about, you know, what you're going to do in the world.
	And you're caring about, you know, you're caring about meeting women, but even more than that, you're going to start battling with the things that make you feel insecure.
	And, dude, at 25, you're going to be so far ahead of people.
	I'm 37, dude, and I'm going to therapy, you know?
	And I'm out here working and doing workbooks and having a sponsor and all this shit.
	Because I didn't do what, you know, I wasn't doing what you were doing.
	I wasn't reaching out when I was young, you know?
	But man, I don't think I could have asked for a better series of calls to come in about this, dude.
	This made my day, man.
	All of this shit.
	All this beautiful, beautiful shit, dude.
	You know?
	Because this is the real shit, man.
	Fuck Nikki Minaj, dude.
	She's a piece of shit.
	Sorry, she was just on the news today talking about how she doesn't get any respect or something.
	All she can do is talk fast, you know?
	Let's find somebody with talent, dude.
	How about somebody who's battling what's really going on in their life on some real levels?
	You know, not some commercialized bullshit.
	Dude, I'm happy to be here.
	I'm excited as well.
	I'm going to drop our new sponsor, man, Gray Block Pizza.
	They're on Pico Boulevard.
	I think it's 1801.
	Let me see, man.
	Gray Block Pizza.
	You know, they're out here, Santa Monica.
	And we're happy to have them.
	1811 Pico Boulevard, Santa Monica.
	If you're out here in Los Angeles, hit up Gray Block.
	Good people over there doing good things.
	Brock, be good.
	Take care of yourself, dude.
	You know, if you want to hit a call and drop a thank you or whatever, feel free to do that.
	I'll post it on next week.
	Otherwise, I'll see you guys on Monday on this past weekend.
	Thank you so much for all the calls, man.
	And tell your friends to subscribe.
	Subscribe on iTunes.
	Subscribe on YouTube.
	You know, because that's how we're going to get this thing to the next level.
	You know, I'm really grateful for our first charter sponsor, Greyblock, because they're going to allow us, you know, to start to do some other things.
	I'm grateful for our Patreon, you know, because that's going to allow us.
	We got the new camera.
	You know, this thing's crystal clear, dude.
	Crystal clear, boy.
	Like a damn wizard out here in these sight streets.
	You know, and we're going to do other things.
	You know, we're going to try to get this studio a little bit bigger.
	You know, maybe get a console and maybe even get a news desk.
	And we're going to start being able to pay a producer to reach out to prisoners and inmates and see what's crack a lacking behind bars so we can go to the ends of problems.
	You know, let's get to the ends of this bullshit and see what happens when you don't get the things right.
	And we can talk about sex in a prison and what they're doing in there, how they doing sex.
	So we're gonna get into all of it, man, but I'm feeling joyous, dude.
	I gotta go sit in traffic for an hour to go to somebody's fucking wedding 5.30.
	Think 5.30 on a Thursday in Los Angeles.
	But I'm gonna go.
	I'm gonna show up because I said I would.
	That's why.
	That's why.
	That's what I'm gonna go do.
	Thank you guys.
	Be good to yourselves, man.
	Because I bet you deserve it, man.
	I really, really do.
	Y'all take care, man.
	Let's hit this one more time on the way out, this new call.
	This new song from Jesse Lucero, Your Candle Burns in an Empty Room.
	shit that house that trap shit boy.
	Sigh
	Hear that angry raccoon in the back, boy?
	That warbler, boy.
	They got fucking warblers loose in this bitch, son.
	gang boy Uh-oh, freelance ocean wave right there, boy.
	Whee!
	Your candle burns in there.
	Fuck no, I'm not singing that shit, dude.
	Y'all tripping, bro.
	Man, happy Halloween.
	Have a good Halloween weekend.
	Take care of your loved ones.
	But start by taking care of yourself, dude.
	It starts right there inside of you, boy.
	Fuck yeah, get them candy out in these streets, boy.
	Diabetes, boy.
	Diabeting while you sleeping, son.
	Gang.
	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
	The answer may shock you.
	Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
	Sometimes I won't.
	And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
	You have three new voice messages.
	A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
	I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
	Longer than anybody else.
	So great.
	Hi, Sweetheart.
	Easy to.
	Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
	John.
	I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
	Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
	Oh, no!
	Wow!
	I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.
	Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
	Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
	Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

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