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July 3, 2025 - Tim Pool Daily Show
03:02:41
Timcast MAGA MONTH Video Game LIVE HANGOUT
Participants
Main voices
t
tate brown
36:33
t
tim pool
58:46
Appearances
Clips
a
alex jones
00:19
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Speaker Time Text
tim pool
I hate not working, but yo, there's legit no news.
I could record some segments on random stuff from a few months ago or from a week ago and I was throwing back Thursday.
The uh the big beautiful bill is uh moving to the floor for a vote, probably not gonna pass right now.
Maybe, we don't know.
Thomas Massey's still in London, they advance it to the floor, but now we'll just reject it.
So it's so we'll just hang out, we'll take a chance.
Uh we are no, I'm playing on Switch.
I'm not playing Zelda on a on a on a PC.
tate brown
Someone asked Tim, what if Zelda was a girl?
Oh yeah, a very profound question.
tim pool
This isn't live, this is AI.
Tim, you need to try X Vision 33.
It's legit one of the best games ever made, but the story is the stupidest thing I've ever experienced, and that's why I stopped playing it.
The story for X Vision 33 is the worst story all know.
Can I spoil the game for you guys?
I'm gonna spoil the game for you guys.
tate brown
I think you should.
tim pool
It's a dream, not really.
I got so pissed because it is a really great game.
The mechanics are incredible, and nobody makes turn-based RPGs like that anymore.
But I was getting frustrated because they don't tell you what's going on.
And so, like, what's my motivation?
And so, I'm playing Expedition 33, and I'm sitting here all like, this is fun.
I like the mechanics.
This is cool.
I'm going to upgrade my guy.
But why are we doing any of this?
And there's some big old lady, she's painting, and I'm like, okay, I, if, like, I'll play Mario if I don't care about stories.
I don't play turn-based RPGs where I have to talk to people to not know what's going on.
Like, they could have, like, in Expedition 33, they could have put one sentence to where they're like, a big lady landed on a spaceship and it started killing people.
unidentified
And I'd be like, okay, all right, well, let's see where this goes.
tim pool
Instead, the game starts and they're like, she wrote a number down and everyone dies.
And I was like, why?
They don't tell you.
And then you land on an island and there's some old guy there.
And I'm like, he's old.
unidentified
How?
tim pool
And I'm like, is that not normal?
Because they didn't explain why that wouldn't be normal.
Literally, just people died when she wrote the number 33.
So I got pissed, looked at the story, and then got even more pissed and stopped flying.
It's great mechanics, though.
tate brown
Jing has a request, play old school RuneScape.
tim pool
On a private server.
Runescape.
No, I'm thinking of EverQuest.
New Dr. Stone on the 10th.
You watching?
Oh, that's great.
tate brown
Millennial Mama.
And Daniel G. Corsica?
Corica?
tim pool
I'm working with the undocumented at a new subdivision.
Happy MAGA Month.
Send Ice to my location.
tate brown
We're on it.
tim pool
What's going on here?
So, I'm getting pretty bored with this Zelda game, too.
This is Tears of the Kingdom.
And like all games that don't know how to do sequels, where your guy is not powerful anymore, they're like, oh no, all of Link's abilities are gone now for some reason.
And his arm got blown off.
Now he's got a fake arm.
Look, his arm is not even real anymore.
He's got some other guy's arm.
And now it's...
Like, there he goes.
Look at him.
unidentified
Running around.
tim pool
Link doesn't even know what's going on.
unidentified
He's spinning.
tim pool
I mean, it's kind of fun.
You can build stuff.
But this is like the second time some guy who's a leaf made of wood is telling me that he's stuck.
I don't rightly care, brother.
That's your problem.
Now I'm supposed to build a minecart for him.
I just ignore him.
unidentified
Alright, here we go.
tim pool
Saving random people I don't care about.
tate brown
Oh, your Expedition 33 take is not going down well with the chat.
tim pool
Well, they're wrong.
I'm right.
Okay, I'll get hard into it.
The main character dies halfway through, so everything you do with your main character is for nothing.
That was brutal.
Like, never have I played a game where you, like, imagine playing Link, and you're like, awesome, I finally unlocked all the abilities, and then a third of the game through, he just gets stabbed in the chest.
It's like, Link's not even the character.
And then you're playing somebody else.
Okay.
That's disappointing.
And then it turns out that the whole world you're in is some little girl's imagination in France.
tate brown
Oh.
Go figure.
tim pool
I was like, wow, okay.
I don't want to play that.
Like, I want to know why the painter is killing everybody.
I want to understand what the ability is, why the world is falling apart.
You're in France, but it's the apocalypse.
She keeps writing a number.
Every time she writes a number, everyone of that age or older dies.
And you're like, what's up?
I was like, wow, that's cool.
What's going on?
And then they don't tell you.
So then I'm trying to understand what's going on.
And they don't tell you.
And then when you type, as soon as I typed in X Vision 33 into Google, it's like Gustav dies.
And I was like, wait, what?
So spoiler, as soon as I typed it into Google, or into YouTube, and then I watched, and it's a guy being like, yeah, like the main character you play dies halfway through the game, then you play somebody else.
So you're not really leveling up that guy.
And I was like, huh?
Hold on, what's going on here?
And so then I looked it up, and it's like, it's a little girl's imagining the whole thing.
And then it's like you're in a painting she made, and she's just imagining what's going on.
I was like, I'm not going to play this anymore.
Good mechanics.
Really great mechanics.
The best mechanics we've gotten in generations, to be honest.
tate brown
Trying to go avant-garde.
tim pool
Ow.
Oh, we'll just play Mario Karter.
I'm going to put this guy.
I mean, we can do funny stuff.
Watch this.
What happens if I kill this guy?
You know what I mean?
Like, I can't lift it anymore.
tate brown
Evan Fail says, y'all should try out Arc Survival Ascended.
The parent company is leave.
But the game itself is fine.
Been playing ASC and ASA for 10 years.
tim pool
So what happens if I car rocket guy?
He's got a little backpack and he's a log.
unidentified
Look at him.
tim pool
He's old, he's old, he's made wood.
unidentified
If I just throw him over.
tim pool
No one ever said I had to be a good guy.
tate brown
That's a war crime.
That's Geneva Convention violating.
unidentified
Oh, gosh.
Let's try again.
tim pool
Later.
tate brown
This is incriminating.
tim pool
Wait, wait, hold on.
There he goes.
Alright, get in a bucket.
tate brown
Ace of Spades.
Tim, have you ever played Undertale?
Also Happy Magamoth.
Happy Magama.
tim pool
I've not.
We can play Mario Kart and complain about how it's communist.
tate brown
Yeah, that'd be nice.
unidentified
What's going on here?
tate brown
See, it levels a playing field for people like me, so I'm okay with it.
tim pool
Do you want to use the device dispenser?
unidentified
I have nearly met my target.
Sure, I guess.
tate brown
Zone caps.
tim pool
I mean, this is a pretty good game.
Breath of the Wild was really amazing, but I'm kind of over.
What is this?
I'm like in a Lego factory?
You know?
Let me fight some moblins.
unidentified
They're called moblins in this game.
tim pool
I need to reach my friend.
I don't care what you need to do, bro.
You're not paying me.
Why is this my responsibility?
Why can't I take out my Zonai fan?
unidentified
There we go.
tate brown
Dustin Spiker, Tim, play split fiction with Ian.
That's peak game.
tim pool
You mean Sappho and her friend?
Let's go, bruh.
Let's roll.
unidentified
Where's your friend at?
tim pool
Pia.
I don't know what that means, but it's on defensive.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
Come on, get him out.
tim pool
This thing just yelled Piyah at me.
Is that a racial slur in Japan or something?
tate brown
Yeah, it has to be.
Tap into your inner Korean and play StarCraft.
It's your blood to be a Grand Master.
Krassen said that.
Oh, the StarCraft haven't played in years.
unidentified
I don't know.
tim pool
I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing.
Thanks to you.
Thanks for bringing my friend.
unidentified
Here's something for you.
tim pool
Korok seeds.
Wait, hold on.
Hold on a minute.
Hold on a gosh darn minute.
These things are Koroks.
tate brown
It's just a leaf?
tim pool
No, no, no, no, no.
That little guy is a Korok.
unidentified
Okay.
He just gave me his seed.
tim pool
I don't know if I should be offended by that.
tate brown
It's MAGA month, not Pride Month.
What's going on here?
What's going on here?
tim pool
He's like, let me just give you some of my seed, bro.
Nah, I'm alright.
You can keep that.
unidentified
I don't want it.
tate brown
Getting first the NATO summit, then this.
I mean, this is getting really out of control.
tim pool
Look at this.
It's broken.
unidentified
What am I supposed to do?
tate brown
Everyone's saying the seed is poop.
Poop seeds?
It's poop?
tim pool
It's poop?
Nah, dude.
tate brown
Poop is giving you your seed.
Wait, what?
unidentified
His seed.
tim pool
We don't need none of that.
tate brown
What is going on in Japan?
unidentified
Little wood logged people getting stuck.
tim pool
Tell me what to do.
unidentified
I'll see you next time.
tim pool
What do we got here?
Zonite.
Zonite?
There's a big old box.
Get out of here, box.
Will it come back?
tate brown
Oh, here we go.
Waffle Sensei.
If you're going to rip Claire obscure a new one, maybe you should actually understand the story.
It's not imagination.
The painters are literal mages who make other things.
tim pool
I know, I'm just kind of ragging on it.
That's why I called it a dream.
I understand.
And then the girl gets sucked into the painting or whatever.
Dumb shit.
Nah, when Gustav died, I was like, I ain't playing this.
Like, you don't take away my main character.
tate brown
So many hot-button topics I had no idea about.
Everyone's getting fired up.
tim pool
It's the best mechanics we've had ever.
It plays upon the old turn-based with action elements, you know, from games people really like with timing and all that stuff, so that's really good.
It's a good game.
I just don't like the story.
I stopped playing it.
tate brown
I just like that a gaming stream is getting people more fired up from hard politics.
It's a beautiful thing.
tim pool
Is Trump a Nazi?
unidentified
I don't know.
tim pool
Claire Obscure is not good.
unidentified
Ow!
Oh, good.
Apparently.
tim pool
Link, what are you doing?
Get on the thing.
Hit it.
Boom.
Let's roll, baby.
tate brown
Hitman Zarelli.
Tate, if you were a dragon, what dragon would you be?
unidentified
A red one or a blue one?
tate brown
Is this a trick?
Is this a trap?
Keeping harness.
tim pool
What did he say?
tate brown
If you were a dragon, what dragon red one?
tim pool
I think blue is good.
Blue is lightning.
tate brown
I'll go blue.
That sounds nice.
tim pool
White is ice, I think.
I don't know, though.
Just depends on which game you're playing.
unidentified
white dragons matter I was talking to He's like, it's the best game ever.
tim pool
And he was like, I don't care.
Don't care about the story.
I think Final Fantasy 16 was terrible as well.
In 16, it's not even a game.
It's button mash.
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
tim pool
Not turn-based.
All you do is you dodge, strike, strike, dodge every battle.
Andy is like the biggest Final Fantasy nerd.
tate brown
I never gotten to God of War because I always felt like you were just pressing one button for three hours.
tim pool
That sounds about right.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing in this game.
unidentified
I'm just running around, breaking stuff, building shopping carts.
tim pool
Sending little leaf people.
tate brown
FD Jongle says, Tim, I just gotten to MCG Commander.
Are there any Final Fantasy decks you're looking at building?
I think I'm going to build Chaco and a bird deck, but I want to be a demon and build Hefka Court Mage.
unidentified
Ooh.
tim pool
The.
How do I get down here?
The skins?
Oh, it's water.
So like the Karik alternate from Final Fantasy, I switched him out, but I switched my I had a Thasa commander deck, and Thassa's good.
Deep Dwelling.
But with the Ishtola, the blue Ishtola, I switched her out for it because she triggers twice.
Not indestructible, though, so there's some risk there, but triggers twice costs a little bit more.
I don't know if it'll work, because Thasa Deep Dwelling only costs 4, so it's really easy to get out early game.
And then you get the, for those who don't know, you get the re-triggers.
But with Ishtola, you get double triggers, but costs 6, so it's risky.
I don't know, though.
Final Fantasy Commander.
They're not really all that Vivi.
I think Vivi's going to be insane.
I want to make a Vivi deck for sure.
Let's talk to this guy.
What's he got going on?
He's cooking.
It's cold.
You'll lose vitality and die.
Mortified how.
Insufficient preparation can lead to death.
My advice can avert this.
Please listen carefully.
The primary safeguards used by our creators were meals that warmed them.
Warm-sounding names.
tate brown
Nice.
tim pool
Some were thick clothes.
Yes, perhaps you could give me that.
You must take care not to eat something with a different effect afterwards.
tate brown
So bossy.
tim pool
Jeez.
unidentified
How do I cook stuff?
tate brown
Pablo Gonzalez, you ever play Final Fantasy XI?
tim pool
Nope.
tate brown
There you go, Pablo.
User main, you can put sh wheels on a shield and skate around.
tim pool
Wait, in this game?
tate brown
I guess so, yeah.
tim pool
That's cool.
tate brown
Or just in general?
tim pool
Andy still plays Final Fantasy XI.
He's on a private server.
Like some kind of lunatic.
I don't want to cook stuff.
tate brown
Man, Zarelli, alright, here's a good one.
Would you be a cowboy samurai for pirate?
Very profound question because I can't even throw that.
tim pool
I threw a little hot pepper in there.
What happens now?
tate brown
Oh, here we go.
unidentified
What happened?
tate brown
Now a cooking stream.
tim pool
Resistance for two minutes.
Spicy sauteed peppers.
That sounds really good.
What should we do?
Should we order Buffalo Wild Wings right now?
tate brown
I think that's the play.
This is making me hungry.
Will Hutton, you should check out Immortals Feng.
tim pool
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Venus Rising.
Really great game.
I loved it.
It's very similar to Breath of the Wild.
Great game, though.
tate brown
B double dubs, they still cook their wings in beef towel.
Remember, that was the draw for a while.
tim pool
I've done anybody does it.
They're probably cooking any beans.
tate brown
I know Steak and Shake.
Shout out Steak and Shake.
They do their fries and beef tallow.
unidentified
What if I select for, What is this?
tim pool
Hold ingredients.
Let's do mushrooms.
tate brown
Way too early for Buffalo Wildwings.
unidentified
Alright.
tim pool
Nah, you're wrong.
tate brown
Never too early.
Firefruit.
unidentified
Let's go.
tim pool
Let's cook them up.
unidentified
Firefruit.
tate brown
Some Buffalo Wildwings haters out there, geez.
tim pool
Look at that.
Simmered fruit.
Sweet dish.
With heaping tasty fruits in a pan.
Okay, well, I needed that pepper for cold resistance, so that kind of screwed me over.
Let's just cook this thing and see what happens.
unidentified
It's a fire fruit, though.
tim pool
Shouldn't it create like a fire.
unidentified
Here we go.
Oh, hot weather attack.
tim pool
What does that mean?
All right, well, whatever, dude.
I got five minutes worth of cold resistance.
tate brown
Jason Dixon says, don't be confused.
Tim is the talent and the draw.
We like you, but we are here for Tim.
Hashtag, be offended.
Might be addressing me.
tim pool
He's smack talking you.
unidentified
Smack talking.
tate brown
Okay, Jason.
unidentified
Whoa, whoa.
tim pool
I'm over here.
Jason Dixon's yelling.
These bats are hitting me.
Look at me.
unidentified
I'm getting good.
tate brown
If you love Tim, you wouldn't have distracted him in that crucial moment.
Thanks a lot, Jason.
tim pool
We chillin'.
unidentified
Yeah, we'll, uh...
We'll just, uh...
tim pool
Mario Kart is a communist video game, and I hate it.
tate brown
It's the great equalizer.
It's like the cult.
tim pool
What is this thing?
Bright bloom seed, huh?
unidentified
It does.
tim pool
Like some light bulbs.
Those bright blooms.
What's going on?
Where am I supposed to be going?
unidentified
Oh, here we go.
tate brown
Helm Sway, maybe we should do a spicy wing challenge.
tim pool
Yo, look, there's a giant frog guy on a wall.
What's he doing?
tate brown
Spicy wing challenge on a Thursday?
Are you sure about it?
tim pool
Yeah, that sounds fun.
tate brown
Wild Man.
unidentified
Can you read that on YouTube?
No.
tate brown
Probably not anytime soon.
Maybe someday.
tim pool
Take what?
tate brown
Wow, Hero Shade.
Get good at Mario Kart, Tim.
That sounds like coat.
tim pool
So the thing about Mario Kart is that the further back you are, the better items you get.
That's communism.
If I'm good at...
The further up you are, the better items you get.
Look at this guy.
What's he doing?
tate brown
Zora's America.
Every game's gonna be like that.
unidentified
Yeah, so I'm playing.
tim pool
He gets it.
I was playing the new Mario Kart.
I'm in first place, I'm way ahead, and then I get hit by lightning.
I get hit by a blue shell, and then I launch to the end, and I get hit by a red shell, and I fall off into the pit.
And then I'm in seventh place.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
Like, okay, I guess.
tate brown
When it rains, it pours.
tim pool
All these communists basically get special weapons for being bad at the game.
And they just get to you.
So you try and like...
Oh, I got a fuse, huh?
tate brown
The eye cart.
unidentified
Nope.
tate brown
Can boonies do a King of the Roads series from Malcolm Van Dahls?
King of the Roads series.
Could be intriguing.
Salty pasta.
How's the baby doing?
My son is five months old.
Happy MAGA month, by the way.
tim pool
She is fat and happy.
tate brown
There you go.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Alright, let's see.
What do we got going on here?
I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm supposed to be going.
I see a thing on the map.
Maybe I go there.
Make some spicy peppers.
tate brown
Ian Kenny, here I thought I was going to get news this morning for a special live, but all I'm getting is gaming.
You should play PUBG.
tim pool
PUBG, huh?
tate brown
You're getting gaming.
tim pool
Let's see, where's that stuff that I made?
unidentified
There we go.
Look at the spicy peppers.
tate brown
Hero Shade, play Mario Kart with chat, open a room with code.
That would turn into Mad Max pretty quickly.
tim pool
I got two minutes to get to the top of this icy mountain.
But I don't think I can climb any of this stuff.
It's all ice.
unidentified
No, I can't climb it.
tim pool
It's going to be like, nope.
unidentified
That just wasted some spicy peppers.
tim pool
It looks like an obelisk or something.
It's like Minecraft over there.
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
That was the original intention of the Washington Con Jeremy Gardner.
Have you tried Flesh and Blood TCG?
unidentified
Nope.
tate brown
What is that?
unidentified
No idea.
tim pool
Come on, Link.
Let's go.
Yeah, I know what's over.
What is this thing going to do?
Is it going to blast me?
This Minecraft thing?
tate brown
Like Alligator Alcatraz.
unidentified
Whoa!
tate brown
Oh, you're cooking.
tim pool
Oh, it's a boss.
Let me just take your arm away.
What if I just, like, throw this off the edge?
Is that how I beat him?
tate brown
Just disassemble him.
unidentified
Come here, come here.
Be your chest.
Wait, he's made a now.
tim pool
I gotta like his face.
unidentified
rebuild Oh.
tate brown
Oh, here we go, guys.
unidentified
Look at that.
Oh!
Wow!
tim pool
Like one-shotted me.
unidentified
Let's see.
tim pool
Can I eat this eyeball?
Eat an ant.
No, I don't got enough items to get hit by this guy.
unidentified
What are you gonna do?
Wait, is this where I'm supposed to use the other ability now?
Wait, what are they doing?
tim pool
Am I supposed to ascend him?
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
unidentified
Oh, oh, that was the wrong thing.
There you go.
Damn, that sword is my weapons can't hit Bosch.
tim pool
Okay, what's this guy gonna do now, huh?
unidentified
What is this?
What is it doing?
Oh, I get I just gotta hit him.
tim pool
Now it's more like intelligent cue for the PS.
unidentified
Oh, he didn't like that.
Give him the biz.
Give him the biz.
tim pool
I'm running out of weapons.
Wait, I think he's done.
tate brown
And body back.
tim pool
What is this thing?
tate brown
GuGO Arctic.
You want to test out the moral compass?
Try Baldur's Gate 3.
One of the few AAA games that are good.
Most AAA games are all dogwater now.
tim pool
I have beaten that game 77 times.
More than that, actually, probably 800,000 times.
What do I do with this?
Can I fuse this to like a weapon or something?
unidentified
Fuse to the rusty broadsword.
Oh, look at that.
tate brown
Hitman Zarelli, what would you rather be a space cowboy or a wizard a part of the shadow government, shadow money wizard gang?
tim pool
Shadow money wizard?
tate brown
It's a very salient question.
I don't know.
I don't know if I have a strong feeling either way.
tim pool
I have no idea what's going on in this game.
I'm kind of over it.
tate brown
They're all spamming fuse it to your weapon.
You can use fusion cordo weapon.
unidentified
I did, but what do I do with it now?
tim pool
Where am I supposed to go?
I killed something, and now I'm running around.
unidentified
Having scott no stamina.
tim pool
I'm kind of bored with this because nothing's happening.
Like, why am I in the sky?
unidentified
And, uh...
tim pool
I see over here.
Oh, am I supposed to be going to the Temple of Time?
unidentified
I don't even understand what's happening.
tim pool
Can I, like, fast travel or something?
tate brown
And they barely let you sprint either.
unidentified
I know.
Gosh.
tim pool
Dude's gotta do his cardio, man.
unidentified
How do I even get out of here now?
tate brown
See if Chad has any place.
Make your way towards the temple.
tim pool
Ah, just do this.
Let's go!
What is Link?
Why does he get stuck?
I would like to make my way to the temple, but I don't know how to get there.
And I can't fast travel or something, can you?
I see the temple, but I cannot get there.
unidentified
You are supposed to complete the tutorial.
tim pool
There wasn't one.
The tutorial was just stupid green things being like, did you know you can swing a sword?
I was like, yes, I do.
I play Breath of the Wild.
tate brown
Well, everyone's spamming tutorial.
Okay.
Turbo Brothers.
tim pool
Let's play Smash Brothers.
You can play Smash Brothers.
I absolutely hate the Smash Brothers unlocking system.
tate brown
He was going around the office yesterday just asking people if they'd be willing to grind out 12 hours straight.
tim pool
I said who wants to unlock Cloud is the 55th character to unlock in versus mode.
Or you can play 27 years of adventure mode.
unidentified
I'm stuck on this thing.
tate brown
True, bastards, since this is a politics channel doing gaming, should I mention my gaming channel's politics video?
Check out my Trump victory video.
Eric and Gordon.
unidentified
I think it's funny when Link dies.
These rag dolls.
tate brown
Culture War COVID debate.
tim pool
Jim is stuck in the tutorial.
Indeed, I am.
Well, to be fair, most other games have the three original battles or whatever.
This is the three shrines.
unidentified
But.
tim pool
Okay, so look, okay, where do I go?
unidentified
Right?
Where do I go?
tim pool
I'm on this big old thing.
I can't go down.
I can't go back.
Oh, I gotta steal that, don't I?
unidentified
Alright, that's it.
tate brown
Perceptual Jonathan wants to see Dave Smith versus Cuomo on Culture War.
That'd be interesting.
tim pool
I can't reach that.
Did I make a mistake by jumping on this thing and now I'm just dead?
Oh, there's water right there.
There's a frog in it.
I just jumped into the water.
unidentified
Problems.
tate brown
Minecraft, yeah.
SR-71 Industry, shout out to my son Logan, turn six today.
L of Z is his shout out, Logan.
unidentified
Stellar Blades.
tim pool
Where's that water at?
tate brown
Yeah, everyone's saying that pond, yeah.
tim pool
Saying what?
tate brown
everyone's saying that pond You might have a bright future as a game journalist.
Mob one Lenina gaming.
To climb the ice wall, cut down a few trees, and use them, then climb.
tim pool
Use the trees?
unidentified
Hmm.
Let's go.
tim pool
Hey, look at that.
Can I eat the frogs?
Look at him.
What's he doing?
Hey, come here.
Where are you going, bud?
unidentified
Oh, wow, you're out of there.
Oh, no, dude.
tim pool
Don't do it.
It's not worth it.
tate brown
You have so much to live for.
unidentified
Oh, he did.
tim pool
Let's go.
Okay, so how do I get back to the temple then?
tate brown
Chaser90k, have you considered hiring someone like Elon did?
tim pool
We talked about it.
tate brown
We talked about it.
That was a very serious question.
tim pool
Chinese guild farmers.
tate brown
We went to the depths of Fiverr to find the...
Find some core bastard to grant it out for us.
tim pool
Where do I, uh...
I'm here.
The Temple of Time is there.
And I need to get from here to over there.
unidentified
So...
tim pool
Oh, I know what I'm supposed to do.
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
Walta Walmart.
C-O-T-K starts strong, then hits you with a three-hour long brick wall tutorial.
Yeah, with how Tim is playing, it'll be five hours.
Extremely tedious.
Menuana's classic.
tim pool
I'm so bored.
unidentified
Oh.
tate brown
He was correcting his username, Mop1L Ninja.
It's Mobile Ninja and Cringe.
Leet Speak.
Look, I wasn't around for the Leep Days.
I'm sorry.
I wasn't alive.
Wasn't that Dead Mouse's name?
It's not Dead Mouth5, it's Dead Mouse.
I always said it was Dealmouth 5.
And I got the retribution of many people.
unidentified
Oh.
Wait, this doesn't even go anywhere.
tim pool
What is this?
unidentified
Run into the dark.
tate brown
Ryan Coleman, y'all have been talking about how useless Speaker Johnson look into his betrayal of the abolish abortion in Louisiana.
Hey, this is a gaming stream.
tim pool
Every single one of them are Democrats.
tate brown
This is a gaming stream.
Colt TV, Tim, the other week you were talking about Noah's Ark and the Pyramids.
You should play Indiana Jones in the Great Circle.
If you like Raiders, you might.
Does that game have Noah's Ark in it?
The pyramids on it?
unidentified
I have no idea.
Sounds like.
tim pool
What I do have an idea on is this game is really boring.
tate brown
It's a very soul-crushing game.
That should be the test for migrants.
If they can grind out the tutorial, then we'll let them start going through the process.
tim pool
It's just, I don't care.
I have no motivation to do whatever it is that expects me to do.
tate brown
Richard Esvedo.
He was asking about Expedition 33.
unidentified
He must have not seen the rant.
tim pool
Hey, look at this.
I don't need to use any of those stupid seats.
I can literally just do this.
And I can see.
unidentified
This is so boring.
tate brown
This gaming stream has been Tim saying he's bored for 25 minutes.
tim pool
Yeah.
I started this game, and it did the cliche, oh no, all of Link's powers are gone.
And I'm like, I get it.
There's no real way to do it if you're trying to make a sequel.
But it's just boring.
And now it's like, hey, would you like to do a bunch of really tedious things unrelated to the story?
unidentified
No.
Well, you have to.
Okay, I guess.
tate brown
Very fatiguing.
Like NBA Jam.
unidentified
Bon screwdriver, no.
tate brown
Oh, it's over.
This is what Trump was doing to the migrants in the Mediterranean.
Just chucking him out there.
unidentified
Let's see how much stamina you've got.
Get your floaties.
tate brown
Koonder.
Happy MAGA Month, gents.
Hope Father Husbandhood is treating you well, Tim.
Non-political question.
What's your favorite Star Wars movie of the good ones?
Of course, no Disney garbage.
Mine is episode 3.
tim pool
See, I see that comment.
What is it?
Someone said, it's a shame because the game gets way better once you get past the terrible intro.
tate brown
I like this.
tim pool
What are you thinking with this?
tate brown
Star Wars of the Jar Jar is the superior one.
unidentified
So boring.
I'm over it.
tate brown
Rust of the Frozen North.
Do you have any opinions on universes beyond an MPG?
unidentified
What about it?
tate brown
Do you have an opinion on universes beyond an MPG?
tim pool
Uh, many of them are very dumb.
Some of them are okay, I guess.
tate brown
Life is good.
Happy fourth, guys.
Love you, but I'm going back to Chicken City.
We're in competition with the chickens.
tim pool
Smash Bruvs.
I've got a controller.
tate brown
Which one is Switch?
tim pool
Let's go play a Gatcher mode.
World of Light.
Don't attack the poor Kuko.
Yeah, Martha.
unidentified
Running around.
tate brown
Well, you can already just run faster, so this game's superior.
unidentified
There you go.
Whatever this is Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh I got a jack Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh That was brutal.
tate brown
Merciless.
tim pool
Marth.
The strength of your team.
I forgot how boring Nintendo games can be.
unidentified
Yep.
tim pool
I think I'm just gonna pay someone to beat the intro for me.
tate brown
Whoa, a rainbow?
What month is this?
That's true.
We should have the Smash announcer moderate presidential debates.
tim pool
Wait, he attached a thing to me that insta-killed me?
tate brown
That would be sick.
unidentified
i did not know Oh, he's got that thing again.
Okay, it just kills you right away.
tate brown
Tim, there is a chair.
This is from Josh Berg.
There's a chair furniture company I think you'd like.
They make furniture out of recycled skateboards.
That's pretty nice.
Millennial Mama says you should play your favorite Civ version.
Show me what I'm missing.
I've only ever played Civ 6.
That was my game.
Civ 5.
tim pool
Okay, I am.
I hate this adventure mode, stupid garbage.
I should probably read what it says.
It says they're gonna attach a thing to you or you instantly die.
unidentified
I'll just...
Later.
Victory!
tate brown
Oh, I forgot about...
Chat as well.
tim pool
There's a whole rumble.
tate brown
Whole.
Am I able to pull it up on you?
tim pool
Beetle's location is now open.
Chopping.
tate brown
Oh, that's not it.
Oh, this is Firefox.
unidentified
Poppy gross.
Let's see.
That's firebox isn't there.
damage reward See if I can pull it up on my phone.
tate brown
Oh, here we go.
Hitman Zarelli, have you played Red Dead Ranch when 2?
The story was amazing.
Yeah, it's a good game.
It's very chill.
LARP is a cowboy.
It's very nice.
tim pool
I think the only way this is going to be fun if we have multiplayer.
So let's just play Mario Kart.
tate brown
Let's do it.
tim pool
We got to get another controller so we can play Smash Bros.
And I can just destroy everybody.
tate brown
Are those Switch ones?
unidentified
Those are Xbox.
tate brown
I think that might be one over there.
tim pool
We have a Switch controller here somewhere.
tate brown
Yeah, Xbox.
tim pool
But you don't know how to play Smash Bros.
So it would just be embarrassing for you.
tate brown
Oh, I'd hold my own.
I'd learn when on the fly.
Mario Kart is coming to you.
tim pool
Did you learn how to play Smash Bros?
unidentified
Is that a controller?
tim pool
You have to sync it to the PS.
Like, plugging in the USB is probably the easiest way to do it.
No, the one on the right.
unidentified
open world mario kart so You got a USB cable to plug the thing in.
tim pool
Say, watch out for falling chocolate.
What a horrible place to live.
unidentified
Oh.
Oh, what?
That was dumb.
tim pool
Is it working?
unidentified
Uh, it's good.
*Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* The only way this is multiplayer will-
tim pool
The only place this multiplayer game will be fun is with multiplayers.
Let's switch to a multiplayer game.
No, you can play Mario Kart and drive around doing dumb Mario Kart things.
unidentified
Smash.
We're getting the second controller setups is the only proper way to play Smash Brothers.
tate brown
On the Wii, I'd always do Game and Watch.
I remember that.
tim pool
I think we haven't unlocked Mega.
Oh, it's gonna make me unlock Mega Man right now.
I haven't unlocked Mega Man yet.
unidentified
We'll just kill this guy cheaply.
tate brown
Oh, Kellen's in chat.
Kellen says play Rocket League.
Kellen, bring your uh bring your PlayStation.
We'll play.
tim pool
Aww, he fell inside.
unidentified
Damn it.
tim pool
This is the pinball battle stage.
unidentified
This is the pinball battle stage.
tim pool
I'll get you.
unidentified
Hey stop blocking the duty.
tate brown
We've been hearing stories about rich people eating higher forms of salad.
There's a lot going on in the whole world.
tim pool
Come on, brother.
tate brown
I feel like you have the CPU set for Demogram.
unidentified
It was.
tim pool
Is the controller safe?
Oh, look at it.
It's duck hunt.
unidentified
Three, two, one, go!
You're prepared.
Pay attention.
You're prepared.
You're prepared.
tate brown
That was light work.
tim pool
With work of Duck Hunt Duo.
tate brown
A poor dog.
unidentified
Michael Vick out there.
Start the battle.
tim pool
Alright, you win.
unidentified
Where's your controller?
tate brown
I think it's this button to be on.
Is it the home button?
unidentified
It's on the key.
tim pool
Oh, you're good.
tate brown
Oh, that.
unidentified
Steam.
tim pool
Alright.
Hero is the most fun, in my opinion.
unidentified
Hero!
tate brown
Alright, I gotta go to the classic.
unidentified
Demon flash.
tate brown
Andrew might have the sub-in if this gets ugly.
tim pool
This is the pinball level.
unidentified
Alright, forgot my control.
Let's jump as well.
Alright.
tate brown
We're coming for the aerial assault.
unidentified
oh come here Bang!
There we go, got some...
oh This has got to be an HR violation.
oh Hey, I like what's happening.
Huh?
Huh?
tate brown
Alright, I gotta lock in.
I gotta lock in.
Ready?
unidentified
Always.
Keep it easy.
tate brown
Can I just not die?
I'm just stuck in here.
tim pool
Yeah, it's pinball.
unidentified
Oh, gosh.
This is what they're doing to people in El Salvador.
tim pool
Trump's bouncing them around.
Gigantic grass box.
tate brown
Here we go.
Bang!
Hit that chair.
unidentified
Nice.
tate brown
This is where the comeback starts.
There's a minor setback for a major comeback.
unidentified
Come on.
This is psychological torture.
tate brown
Oh, he's got like tools.
unidentified
how do i do that I gotta.
Oh my fly.
tate brown
I gotta make a change.
I gotta make a change in strategy.
unidentified
there we go Alright, let's see if I can.
There we go.
Oh.
Jeez.
tate brown
The Timpool Torture Chamber.
And they're chanting your name too.
Not one of the crowd So it took you I was at like 500% when I died, so there's very little chance of me pulling anything off here.
unidentified
Bang!
We like that!
hi fine yes Trying to be that thing you blow the air.
That was, that was, that was my only strong move.
Oh, dang.
Oh, dang.
tate brown
Going for the Iran strategy.
unidentified
trying to drop bombs There we go.
Come here.
Come here!
tate brown
Oh, I just fell on my face.
unidentified
get up Coming for you, come on.
tate brown
Oh no, use the Diddy.
unidentified
No, that's people Cosby.
The Cosby play.
tate brown
The Cardi B play.
unidentified
Oh my gosh.
tate brown
Alright, I at least gotta get one lick on here.
unidentified
Here.
Please.
Please.
tate brown
I'm going for the sweep.
I can't let that happen.
unidentified
can't let this Oh, please, please.
No!
tate brown
Donald Trump, please save us.
unidentified
Give it!
Oh, what Paul's popping the champagne.
I'm dropping Oh aerial assault Oh Oh I'm gonna get Simcast Torture
Chain Oh Oh Oh I want some more coming in.
paratrooper What does that do?
tate brown
Andrew, are you gonna smash?
Alright, just gonna go for a sub.
tim pool
This ain't fair.
tate brown
That's gotta be some sort of HR violation.
What just happened?
Alright, we're sub at Andrew and chat.
Everyone cheer Andrew on.
unidentified
can't let him sweep the whole crew you know how to play this game?
uh...
yeah mostly Alrighty.
Where is my girl?
tim pool
Where's your girl.
unidentified
Samus.
You notice that Samus and Bayonet have the same hole on their face?
tim pool
I think it's because Japanese people don't know how to texture a woman's face.
unidentified
I honestly never noticed that.
One, go!
Got the Star Fox out.
Oh, God.
It's gonna be worse.
Oh my god Oh Oh *IVE AND EXBR
MISN* got my ass kicked tate Oh man, good game.
Queen sweep.
This is Fox.
We're returning to base.
Yeah.
tim pool
Oh, what do we got?
unidentified
Fire!
Get out!
One, two!
Yeah!
What do we got?
Yeah!
Stunt battle!
Lucario!
Fall!
tim pool
Well, it's not very good, but he's just got a bunch of big old bolts on him.
unidentified
Three, two, one, go!
Three, two, one, go!
Without a shit.
The real question.
I'm a checker.
Happy checker.
Hiding no space in mind.
Afraid for you to drink.
I'm a checker.
Take off my mask.
the building down.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Uh!
Uh!
I'm all in a second.
tim pool
Nothing to think down.
unidentified
I'm gonna be here.
Uh!
I think that's why I'm here.
I don't mind what I thought.
I'm here.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
you Just in case you're born in time.
I'm going to change the level.
I'm going to go back to the level.
I'm going to go back to the level.
Rap shift.
Masquerade.
I didn't know why.
So for you to drown.
*Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* Wime King Haha Here I asked
him Here I asked him cloud is king mid Pick his ass.
Young Link.
young link The character's like unreasonably hard to play.
Three, two, one, go.
check my wrist bird.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right, then I'm an idiot with all those people watching, too.
Oh, geez.
Yeah, I know.
embarrassing oh
oh Ice climbers online.
Yup.
worst most disgusting things I was bringing them hurry.
Ooh, I don't know, man.
Sephiroth's really slow I think I'm really bad Oh
Damn It forrrruta fighting It's over Use stun
Go!
Hey you uh...
I suppose I got you, I'm not sure if I can do it.
There's that.
Yep.
There's that.
Yep.
There's that.
Yep.
Uh, yeah.
tim pool
There's the other upstairs.
Yeah, it's already synced.
It's just a cramped controller.
I mean, I don't know if I can beat both of you guys at the same time.
unidentified
Here, whoops up.
tate brown
Our only hope.
unidentified
Oh.
*Splash*
tate brown
What's everyone saying?
tim pool
They're saying, wow, you guys are really bad at this game.
tate brown
We need to hire a Smash Bros.
unidentified
tutor for the office.
tate brown
Oh, Warrior's the motorcycle, right?
unidentified
I remember.
tate brown
Yeah, I want that.
tim pool
Tim is still a huge casual pro.
I never...
unidentified
Oh.
tate brown
How do I get the motorcycle?
Oh, I farted on him.
I'm farting a lot.
unidentified
Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's overcycle.
so Take it!
Oh, yeah.
tate brown
Oh, there it is.
Oh, my gosh.
unidentified
so washed So washed.
Come here.
here What does the farting do?
tate brown
Gosh.
I got stomped.
unidentified
Guys, I promise I'm not that washed.
tim pool
Congratulations, Tim, you officially gotten the attention of my nine-year-old son, Paul.
He's on break from game modeling camp.
tate brown
Ah.
tim pool
Alright, you win.
tate brown
So this is going to be our only hope is ganging up.
tim pool
You'll probably win.
You got to mash the buttons.
unidentified
Oh.
tim pool
That's low battery.
Oh, I got to beat Greninja.
tate brown
Oh, good luck with that.
tim pool
I got to beat Greninja.
unidentified
duty calls duty
calls Alright, it's Showtime.
I think the controller is probably going to die on you.
You can switch him.
him attempts to smash two at once Everyone's spamming Ganon door.
tim pool
Switches on the back.
Hold on.
tate brown
cannonball I don't play this Diddy, though.
unidentified
What a terrible name.
Oh.
tate brown
I might run up with the Wii Pit Trainer.
Get some Pilates gone.
tim pool
Oh, I just turned the game off.
Why would you do that?
unidentified
What did you do?
alex jones
Oh.
unidentified
Oh.
tate brown
There we go.
Alright.
tim pool
Still haven't unlocked another.
tate brown
Wanted to leave it, Trainer.
unidentified
As happens.
tim pool
Hey, Anetta.
unidentified
No Diddy.
tate brown
RP Diddy.
Alright, Andrew.
We gotta deploy some strats here.
unidentified
Oh, gosh.
Oh no!
No!
*laughs* *Gunshot* *thud*
tate brown
I'm channeling my inner Zen.
unidentified
Attack him.
Nice try.
tim pool
Oh, I got it.
tate brown
Don't worry, Andrew.
Hold it down.
Hold it down.
Lock it in.
unidentified
Two of us just get walked down here.
oh no Dog walk.
Oh, my God.
tate brown
This is where we lock.
I'll lock in.
Don't worry.
Failing my inner Zen.
unidentified
No.
That might be one of the most ridiculous moves in this game.
tate brown
Yeah.
We just relax.
Is that the tactic?
unidentified
the hula hoop Don't come back here.
tate brown
Yeah.
unidentified
Oh.
Oh, dude.
Come on.
tate brown
Comeback starts here.
Oh, never mind.
Comeback is delayed.
Comeback is.
Comeback is.
unidentified
Okay.
Alright.
tate brown
Andrew, we need to restrate.
Tim is farming you guys, bro.
Alright.
unidentified
Come on, Chad.
I think us individually, we're doing better.
tim pool
Don't know how to grab.
tate brown
That is true.
I don't know how to grab.
unidentified
I don't.
Sorry.
I've got to go with the...
tate brown
Go with my bread and butter.
Where are you?
unidentified
The zombie?
That's sick.
Enderman.
Yeah, let's do the zombie.
tate brown
Alright, chat.
You're talking all this crap.
Get ready.
unidentified
Tim's going to be...
This is where he gets taken down.
tate brown
You're on a mic, bird.
unidentified
Oof.
tate brown
Alright.
unidentified
We gotta set a barricade up.
tate brown
Can't let him back on the island when that happens.
Here we go.
unidentified
Here we go.
I'm liking the look of this.
tim pool
I should do that.
tate brown
He's cheating.
Andrew's using advanced tactics.
unidentified
Oh, is that an A?
tate brown
Oh, I don't know.
unidentified
I probably fat-fingered the button with my thumb.
No!
No, no, no!
Alright.
She waits for you to come down here.
Alright, here we go.
walking down here Who's that though?
I don't know.
tate brown
Ski moding.
Yeah, mine him, mine him.
unidentified
It's a butcher.
Oh, that's how you grab.
tate brown
Oh, all right, we're in trouble, Andrew.
We gotta lock in.
Alright, Louis CK, don't let him in.
unidentified
Pulling him back on.
Oh, what the fuck?
Louis CK.
tate brown
It's a strat.
CK strat.
unidentified
here come here
Oh Oh Oh, gosh, Andrew, what have you done?
Lost.
It's okay.
I gotta remember my training.
Oh, gosh.
tate brown
No, no.
unidentified
No, no.
No.
I pulled the sign up.
tate brown
I started emoting.
unidentified
Alright.
tate brown
I got 100% head start here.
More than enough.
That's more than enough.
Oh, maybe it's not.
See, I need you there to distract him.
unidentified
Oh, no.
tim pool
If you win, you are fired.
unidentified
I live in the temple.
I live in the temple.
tate brown
Everyone spam Ganondorf.
Dude, people are fired up.
Go Ganondorf.
Okay, maybe I'll go Ganondorf.
unidentified
Hooked.
Ganondorf's a little busted.
tate brown
Is he?
unidentified
Okay.
tim pool
Nah, he's too slow.
unidentified
I think I gotta stick with my boys.
Go a little swag.
tate brown
You know what?
No, I'll bite.
unidentified
I'll go Ganondorf.
tim pool
Did you guys know that she is Zelda?
tate brown
Really?
unidentified
Huh.
Oh, it is a woman.
tate brown
It's hard to tell these dudes.
unidentified
Dude, Ganondorf is kinda nasty.
tate brown
Oh, what have I done?
tim pool
Chica's not my care.
tate brown
Gandorf is kind of nasty, guys.
Thanks for the wreck.
Come on, Andrew.
Don't let off the gas.
unidentified
Lock in.
tate brown
Lock in, lock in.
unidentified
Come here.
Come here.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Dangerous that you're playing Rocky.
basically.
I did it again Oh, no,
no, no, no Come on, Andrew.
If we screw this up, it's over for us.
Yeah.
tate brown
Lock in, lock in.
unidentified
Oh, I just emoted off the map.
tate brown
Guys, so hard being so stupid.
unidentified
It's not stupidity.
You're a victim of your own excellence, State.
tate brown
Yeah, I'm just suffering from skill back.
unidentified
Oh, dude!
Come on!
Come on!
It only took us 20 tries!
tim pool
And me playing chic.
unidentified
Chic.
tate brown
Dude, Ganondorf.
unidentified
Oh!
tate brown
Ganondorf shout out.
tim pool
Is it who's playing then?
unidentified
Oh, it's me.
Oh, you better not lose.
tate brown
You're playing against Chrome as well.
tim pool
You're getting your ass kicked.
tate brown
Oh, no.
unidentified
I'm So bad.
No, not in front of these lovely Simcast users.
tate brown
Oh no.
tim pool
So we didn't unlock prom because you suck, yes.
unidentified
Gosh.
Andrew!
I should go back to losing.
L Andrews Can that change this a bit?
Oh, yeah, I can.
throw that Isabel?
tate brown
They're just spamming fire them.
We're playing for our jobs right now.
Being good at Smash Bros.
unidentified
is actually the prerequisite work here.
tate brown
I'm falling short of that.
unidentified
Please.
tim pool
Always teleporting.
unidentified
What is going on?
Oh my god.
tate brown
Alright, Andrew, we gotta come up with a strat here.
unidentified
I'm playing a little cute dog, dude.
I don't know what my strat is.
tate brown
Keep picking furry animals.
unidentified
That's a self-report.
Keep jumping off the side of the map.
There we go.
tate brown
Little one, two.
Get him a little rope-idope.
What is he doing?
unidentified
I have no idea what's happening right now.
tate brown
Get him, get him, get him.
unidentified
just jump him Please.
He's no.
tate brown
There we go.
Catch him with your little net.
Good idea.
unidentified
I'm trying, dude.
Come here.
Come here.
Bank!
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
tate brown
Alright, get your net out.
I'm gonna go in.
unidentified
Let's go.
tate brown
Go, go, go, go, go.
unidentified
Go!
Andrew, you didn't come with me!
I was charged up the confetti cannon.
tate brown
Kind of boomblade character is that.
unidentified
Oh.
It's animal crossing.
tate brown
Okay, I'll hold it down.
Alright, let's go.
Charge, charge.
unidentified
All right, that's a knock.
strat was not working It's freaking slicing dice.
tate brown
Please, please, no, no.
unidentified
Not like this.
I don't think I've landed a single hit.
tate brown
I think you hit me.
unidentified
We're on the same team.
Somehow I'm still in this with like...
No health left.
Oh, there I go.
tate brown
They just sent you in the new mesh.
unidentified
Need to learn like some of the moves.
You're setting up a traffic stop.
Please, no.
No.
Oh, no.
I like the Minecraft zombie better.
tate brown
Oh, I'm done.
unidentified
all right andrew good luck Those little balloons out of here.
Without flying around.
I think I have spent more time in the air than I have on the ground.
Hold the shield button.
Okay, let's try that.
tate brown
Did he fail?
unidentified
yeah that's sad isn't it What does this character even do?
Isabel?
Yeah.
loses These guys are literal.
tate brown
Get so much wisdom.
tim pool
I pretty much only ever use smash attacks on these games now, but they're slow.
tate brown
Shield is a shoulder button.
tim pool
I'm so confused.
Where in the news?
Where is this?
There isn't any.
tate brown
This is the news.
tim pool
It was the day before a holiday, and there was literally nothing, so, you know.
tate brown
We're making the news.
unidentified
Can you not see?
tim pool
Actually, I gotta go to batroom.
You guys fight each other.
unidentified
Alright.
tate brown
That's good.
unidentified
How do you remove a controller?
tate brown
Oh, good idea.
unidentified
Yeah, let me set myself to a CPM and I got.
Oh, gosh.
God, we're.
Alright, chat, chat.
tate brown
Spam what I should play, chat, spam.
Deport me?
Callan said deport Tate?
Hey, I'm an American.
unidentified
Deport Kellen, dude.
He's laying here.
tate brown
Kellen.
Deport him back to Maryland.
Black Kirby?
Say, someone said plays black Kirby.
unidentified
Okay.
Oh, man.
Oh, where's the brother skin?
What's going on?
tate brown
Alright, there's no black Kirby.
Someone said I'm a nerd.
Farming your employees.
Dr. Mario?
unidentified
Okay.
tate brown
Because that.
Grosnor said Dr. Mario.
Where is Dr. Mario?
unidentified
I don't think we have him unlocked.
tate brown
You don't have him.
We should have to play as Mario then.
Well, let's see if anybody else.
Is it clicking?
Random.
Someone's supposed to play his random.
unidentified
Okay.
tate brown
It's a good idea.
Trump.
Trump?
I don't think Trump's in the game, is he?
unidentified
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Alright, then we first started.
I guess.
Start.
Maybe.
I think you'll depress it.
I'm trying here.
tate brown
Why, Millennial Mama says, why did people start calling Independence Day July 4th casual and innocent reference to date or more sinister effect to downplay freedom?
unidentified
This is insanity.
Why have they a lot of time?
I'm not sure what's happening.
tate brown
Callan is talking so much smack right now.
Dude, get over here then.
We'll settle this on the.
Oh, wait, it's a 2v1 on you.
unidentified
Oh, we forgot it.
tate brown
Hit me.
Oh, I'm playing as peach.
unidentified
Oh, I'm trans?
tate brown
Great.
unidentified
But apparently, a 2v1 on me.
tate brown
You're done.
You're done.
unidentified
And I suck.
tate brown
Walk him down.
Just kicking you around.
unidentified
this yeah I don't think they can hear you or the mic.
they can hear the important Me.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I was looking at the CPU.
tate brown
It's a lot of adverts.
unidentified
Come here, little boy.
Come here, little boy.
tate brown
Great work, Sora.
unidentified
I think I'm ready to beat the Trump Orient.
tate brown
Does that beat stick get you back in the game?
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
I'm ready to watch Chat bully.
unidentified
Dude, you have to press the A button.
Why is Trump watching?
tate brown
Very salient question.
He wants to make sure he finishes the job.
unidentified
These guys have people just buddies.
Yeah.
tim pool
You're allowed to have Mexican friends that wear orange jumpers.
tate brown
Yeah, it's nothing to do with the story.
It's actually just Trump having friends.
Having friends illegal now?
unidentified
Oh, you're done, Andrew.
You're done.
tim pool
I can't believe Chad GPT made it anymore.
unidentified
You're done, Andrew.
Dude, my CPU is squashed.
tate brown
Come on, Chad GPT, lock this.
unidentified
Oh my gosh, you're a potato.
tate brown
Oh, wait, that's another person playing with us.
unidentified
Yeah.
Oh.
tate brown
I thought I heard someone for a second.
unidentified
I was so confused.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, kick him around.
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
Awesome.
tate brown
Don't you ever step in my ring again, Andrew.
tim pool
Order Buffalo Wild Wings.
tate brown
You got me excited with that.
You got me excited with that.
tim pool
Just order like 700 wings.
unidentified
Might be too many wings.
tate brown
Trump Tower should be one of the stages.
So true.
tim pool
Alright, I'm gonna beat the tutorial.
You guys just watch.
tate brown
Oh, I'm watching.
Keep an eye on chat if there's any advice.
Tim has been straight at farming these guys.
tim pool
I'm not even good at the game.
tate brown
Yeah, I think I'm just competent.
unidentified
This reminds me of high school.
My friends would just kick my butt all the time.
Yes.
tate brown
Yes, I think so.
unidentified
*Cries* Tim, you have so much to live for.
Link is developmentally disabled.
tate brown
Fact check true.
Actually, it's true.
unidentified
That's what Rocky's about.
tim pool
This thing float.
tate brown
I've got advice.
When?
Okay, thanks.
unidentified
I scared you.
tim pool
Hey, I got an idea.
unidentified
Take this.
Take this.
tim pool
I must protect myself.
unidentified
Shoot.
tate brown
The loser has to watch CNN for a week.
tim pool
Nah, that's that's too mean.
tate brown
That's cruel and unusual punishment.
tim pool
Let's go, Link.
unidentified
Oh.
I didn't feel the only.
Thank you.
tim pool
Yeah, this is what I can't stand about Smash Bros either is that in order to unlock the characters it takes 27 years.
unidentified
Yeah, like artificially inflates like the game like or the time it takes to play the game.
I'm like dude, I just want to play now what do we do?
tate brown
They're saying Tim's mic is low.
unidentified
Is it?
tate brown
Can you fix it on that?
unidentified
No, it's through the VMX.
tim pool
How about now?
He's a pro gamer strat.
Get good.
These game mermaids look different.
And they do.
What do we got here?
I got one of those fans, right?
What does this thing do?
unidentified
Portable pot.
tim pool
Take out device.
unidentified
I think that's illegal in this state.
tim pool
Oh no!
My stupid thing that I just pulled out's blown away.
tate brown
Aka Chan says, yo, Tim, can we get a Seamus slash Tim skateboard?
It is Seamus dressed as a leprechaun holding golden spoon.
tim pool
Golden spoon.
tate brown
Well, he says, instead of calling it Freedom Tunes, call it Free Tim Spoons.
unidentified
Ha ha!
tate brown
Wow.
Very awesome.
tim pool
Oh, no.
Why isn't it working?
unidentified
That was funny, right before that spoons thing.
he actually had stolen my screwdrivers for a week.
tate brown
Oh, gosh.
tim pool
I knew it.
unidentified
Here we go.
tate brown
Millennial Mama's giving us some trivia.
Name one of the six people that signed both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.
tim pool
Thomas Jefferson.
tate brown
Jefferson.
unidentified
Benjamin.
tim pool
Benjamin Hirschfield.
unidentified
Benjamin Netanyahu.
tate brown
Joe Biden was probably around Joe Biden.
unidentified
Wasn't he born closer to the assassination of Lincoln than he was to present day or something like that?
He was born closer to the assassination of Caesar than that work.
tim pool
My stupid thing doesn't float properly.
unidentified
Okay.
tate brown
They say you could add a log to stabilize it.
tim pool
I know, but there isn't one.
unidentified
I would just...
That's not true.
Not working.
tim pool
I got this thing.
Flux Core Pounder.
unidentified
Oof.
tate brown
That was my name in high school.
tim pool
It didn't work either.
What if I just destroy them?
Okay, now I got nothing.
unidentified
I just made things worse for me That rock.
tim pool
Well, I destroyed the boxes.
Now I can't get across the water.
tate brown
Oh.
unidentified
Yep.
tim pool
I don't even know where I'm supposed to go is the problem.
unidentified
Is it not that policying thing on the map?
tim pool
Sure.
How do you get there?
unidentified
I can go like this.
tim pool
So this is what dorks do all day.
unidentified
Yes.
tim pool
Underwater fan propeller.
Hit the tree with what?
unidentified
My flux clobber.
tate brown
Dude, he really wants you to hit that tree.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
tim pool
Hit the tree, cut it down.
I get it.
Turn it into a log.
Did I lose my stupid thing?
unidentified
Oh well.
tate brown
Climb higher to get your bearings.
tim pool
I'm hitting the tree, but nothing's happening.
tate brown
People are spamming, pull out your map.
alex jones
Huh?
tate brown
This is painful to watch.
tim pool
It is painful to play.
I mean, literally everyone agrees this is a bad video game.
It was in Sour Grapes Weekly.
They said this game sucks.
It was a bad game anyway.
unidentified
Like all these adults talking about how bad the children's game is.
tim pool
Yeah.
I didn't want to play Zelda anyway.
tate brown
This Kokomo is terrible.
tim pool
Link is too androgynous.
unidentified
It really is.
All right.
tim pool
A sick tat?
That's not a tat.
His arm got blown off.
unidentified
Oh.
tim pool
And now he's got a fake arm.
On and around.
unidentified
On and around.
tim pool
I'm just going to reload a save from a long time ago.
Whatever this is.
Mining cave?
unidentified
That was probably from when you started the stream.
tate brown
Tim, don't know.
This is Colt TV.
Tim, don't know how you'd get around the DMCA, but it'd be fun to watch the band play Rock Smith.
unidentified
Oh my god, dude.
Can I figure out how to, um...
I have, uh, my interface connected to it, so I have, like, uh...
tate brown
Crooked Smile says Tim about to play Bellatro.
But what's Bellatro?
unidentified
I don't know.
It's like poker, roguelike.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
tim pool
Andy plays that.
I genuinely am shocked by what they were thinking with this zone in the game.
Like, Breath of the Wild starts, you're in the world.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
And then you slowly expand the territory you can reach.
This is miserably boring.
It's really slow to move stuff.
I have to run around the whole map to get back to the temple.
unidentified
I don't want to.
tim pool
That's why I turned it off in the first one.
unidentified
So boring.
Oh my god.
Yeah, when this game came out, I basically had the same problem.
Just got bored of it.
tate brown
Tim, can you just draw Pokemon cards for the next few hours?
tim pool
I got a pack of the collector of Final Fantasy boosters.
We can just open cards.
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
I should have to guess what they are.
unidentified
I don't know anything.
tate brown
Mr. Bombastic Biggie Cheese says play armor reforger with mods.
unidentified
That's a good way to get PTSD and play the video game.
tate brown
You might as well just enlist at that rate.
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
Might as well just go over there.
Just join the French Foreign Legion or something.
unidentified
I'd like to play right off of my brother and other friends.
tate brown
They're saying you can fast travel off your map?
Not sure.
unidentified
How?
tate brown
Everyone spam Howl.
unidentified
Tell us Howl.
Chat's off.
alex jones
*sad music*
tate brown
Nothing to say.
unidentified
Probably have to unlock the points.
tim pool
I mean, I beat all those.
I beat the Shrines already.
tate brown
Click the blue things.
tim pool
I tried that, nothing Happens.
tate brown
Activate shrines.
tim pool
Shrines have been activated.
tate brown
Play any game with proximity chat and beat people into using gamer words.
unidentified
That's so fun.
tate brown
We'd have to take that to Rumble.
tim pool
Gamer words.
unidentified
This game called War of Rights.
People get really into the Confederacy.
Their favorite's got to be Rising Storm Vietnam.
Oh gosh.
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
Now they're arguing in chat.
No fast travel until you leave the first area.
unidentified
Okay.
tate brown
It's just not unlocked yet.
tim pool
I didn't realize I was playing Spider-Man.
tate brown
Even Roblox has fast travel feature, bruh.
Tim should play Tony Hawk Pro Skater instead.
tim pool
I mean, we have that upstairs.
tate brown
Look out.
Tim is actually becoming a Minecraft YouTuber.
Run for the hills.
tim pool
Hey, look, I climbed up.
There's a bird.
unidentified
You have to worry if Tim becomes a VTuber.
Yeah.
we have the plugin Nah, I wouldn't.
tim pool
I just use AI.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
Why is it making me run through all of this?
unidentified
It's so boring.
tim pool
It's like when you first play Fallout 3, and it's like, you literally have to run for 20 minutes to get to 10 Penny Tower.
Like, I don't want to.
Yo, yo, bro.
Guy, I ain't doing nothing to you.
Leave me alone.
unidentified
Have you played Stalker 2 yet?
tim pool
Played what?
unidentified
Stalker 2.
tim pool
I have no idea.
my god.
unidentified
Like, uh...
White fallout.
tate brown
Silas 5G asks, hey, Tim, do you know about the War Thunder classified documents controversy?
unidentified
Nope.
tate brown
I know what that is.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
What is that?
tate brown
Apparently, like, War Thunder...
tim pool
Oh, that's cool.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
Hey, look, I found a cave.
tate brown
I'm pretty sure the army got involved, too.
unidentified
They definitely will.
tate brown
Here's the army or air force one.
That's hilarious.
unidentified
What is this thing?
tim pool
Oh, he does not look like my friend.
How much can I ignore whatever that is?
unidentified
I don't know.
Climbing the mountain.
tim pool
Who is the other guy?
unidentified
I'm not even on camera, am I?
tim pool
Wait, we have that.
Oh, that camera's not there.
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
How do you turn it?
Is there an easy way to turn it on?
unidentified
I don't know how Chris has it set up, to be honest.
tim pool
What does this thing want?
tate brown
Andrew is the voice in the ether.
My name's Tate.
Unless you're asking about Tim, who's the other guy.
tim pool
In dinner oh you can put stuff you can you I don't even know what's going on, man.
There we go.
Can I just jump down now?
Oh, I'll die instantly.
Oh, wait.
No, I got the cold resistance, right?
Will I die instantly?
Let's save.
tate brown
Give your peppers still?
tim pool
Well, I got 10 seconds or something, don't I?
unidentified
yeah Look at that.
tim pool
Oh, I'm dying instantly.
tate brown
That was unfortunate.
tim pool
He just, like, dies when he touches water.
Unless the water's warm.
He's like, oh man, this water is too cold for me to even move.
I'll just die.
How do I get down from here?
tate brown
He's not built for the grind set.
He doesn't want to do his cold plunges.
Ashton Hall would be disappointed.
unidentified
*sad music* you
tim pool
Eat your spicy peppers.
There we go.
unidentified
You got it.
tate brown
R.I.P. Bo.
unidentified
Oh!
tim pool
Crunch!
I want to see his legs rupture from the impact and like his phones stick out.
unidentified
Take the giblets from Killing Floor 2, so it's gory as all hell.
tate brown
Use a Pokeball.
Okay guys, can we not clog chat with...
tim pool
What is even this game?
tate brown
Does he have ascend or no?
Yeah, a lot of people are talking about ascend.
tim pool
Ascend?
Yeah, I do.
tate brown
I think that's what they're saying to use.
tim pool
Nah, I don't want to.
Use what?
unidentified
Where?
tate brown
Chat, you need to clarify.
tim pool
I'm trying to go down.
What do it look like?
Some kind of up guy?
unidentified
Well, it might, like, prevent the fall damage.
Like, if you do it in midair, it might shoot you back.
tim pool
I need a ledge above you that he goes through.
alex jones
*Bell sound*
tim pool
Instead of throwing yourself at enemies over and over, try cooking.
unidentified
Okay.
Great advice.
tate brown
This is now a cooking stream everyone.
tim pool
I'm just imagining some Japanese guy being like, we have to make the beginning of Sakame as boring as possible.
unidentified
As boring as possible.
They're teaching discipline, dude.
tate brown
We've got to get revenge for Hiroshima.
unidentified
Make it so that they cannot advance anyway.
tim pool
Look at this.
I can't even climb down.
unidentified
If they preoccupy with game, they cannot build more nukes.
tim pool
I think I figured it out.
unidentified
Look at that.
Here we go.
tim pool
Spider-Man.
unidentified
Whoa.
tate brown
Another Expedition 33 question.
You'll go back to the beginning of the stream to hear Tim's take on it.
I don't think you'll like it very much.
Howie Ryder 5.
tim pool
I said it was the greatest game ever made.
tate brown
It was perfection.
It was perfect.
Every aspect of it.
tim pool
It could not have been better.
Even the part about the little girl's imagination being the story.
tate brown
I think that's why he hates it so much, because it was too good.
It was too good of a game.
unidentified
Ah!
tate brown
ruins all their game.
unidentified
*music*
tim pool
See, what they should do is they should give you the glider right away.
And then it's like, congratulations, you're done.
Now you can glide straight to the exit.
Continue for you.
tate brown
How do children figure this out?
tim pool
It's not that it's hard to figure out that it's tedious.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
It's just like, dude, uh.
unidentified
Okay, I get it.
tim pool
Your game's boring.
How do I do what I just did before where I slide down?
unidentified
Stop.
Oh, no.
tim pool
The legend of tedious bullshit.
tate brown
Some rebrand opportunity.
tim pool
It feels like work.
unidentified
I play simulators that are less tedious than this.
tate brown
That's how Destiny fell.
I feel like I was clocking in at night.
unidentified
fucking in.
Come on.
tim pool
Don't die.
Okay, he died.
unidentified
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
This game is breaking, everyone.
tate brown
Tears of the tedious.
tim pool
Tears of the tedious.
Yup.
Gotta find the pile of struggle.
Go up.
Why would I go up?
I'm trying to go to the Temple of Time.
tate brown
This is an Assassin's Creed.
tim pool
Okay, so I can't go that way.
Oh my god.
unidentified
This game.
tim pool
Is he trying to fight me now?
I don't want to fight nobody.
I just want to leave.
unidentified
wow Oh, my God.
tim pool
Just end it.
Just end it.
unidentified
We're watching a game break a man in real time.
tim pool
Lose interest in video games.
unidentified
Lose interest in video games.
Thank you.
tim pool
Solo, flawless, a destiny dungeon.
I used to play Destiny all the time.
And the division.
Okay, now I'm here.
I'm going to go up.
Is that what I'm supposed to do?
I already did that.
I already beat this shrine and wasted my time.
unidentified
And was very bored by the whole thing.
tate brown
American M asks, what happened to the short act in the BBG?
tim pool
I think it's technically still in there, but what they did was they made it so that it's still an NFA item, but you don't got to pay a tax on it, which changes nothing.
Because the real problem is that it takes a really long time to register.
unidentified
I thought that fell through.
tim pool
Yeah, they removed the fee.
They removed the tax because they said that was against the law or something.
Oh, okay, I know where I'm at now.
I've done this before.
tate brown
R. Shirio says, check out the Russian Orthodox Military Cathedral Conson created in 2020.
That's a lot of consonants, dude.
Oh, my gosh.
It's Russian.
It has a hammer and sickle icons all through its artwork and stained glass windows.
tim pool
Hey, look, fire.
Fire!
unidentified
Interesting.
tim pool
It's okay, I got a minute of cold resistance to try and figure out how to get out this stupid place.
Icy peppers.
tate brown
It's an interesting factoid.
In Alaska, there's a lot of counties that are still predominantly Russian Orthodox from way back when the Russians converted a lot of the Inuit.
So there's these really old Russian Orthodox cathedrals built out of like whale bones and stuff.
tim pool
Whale bones.
tate brown
And middle of Alaska.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
I think Unalaska has like a 400-year-old Orthodox cathedral.
Shot out Alaska.
unidentified
I think it makes sense.
Like, nobody really is crazy enough to call Ask that place except us and the Russians.
Okay.
tate brown
Hello from Athens, Greece.
Hello.
unidentified
Don't do it!
tim pool
Oh, Klan, get out of the water, you moron.
Oh, my God.
tate brown
Shout out, Greece.
Don't super chat.
Put your money towards your country's debt.
tim pool
Dive down to land and body of water.
You cannot because the water is cold and he dies instantly.
Okay.
Okay, well, at least he didn't die.
unidentified
Hello from Italy?
tim pool
Don't go in the water, dude.
Don't do it.
Climb.
Don't fall.
unidentified
Don't go in the water, dude.
tim pool
He's going in the water.
unidentified
All right.
tim pool
Can I just eat a bunch of mushrooms?
tate brown
Tim to become number one gaming streamer.
Asmund Gold becomes the largest political streamer.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
I mean, that's the way it's going.
Have you seen, he's just talking politics these days.
tate brown
Yeah.
unidentified
Yep.
Asmund likes Expedition 33.
Uh-oh.
tim pool
Well, you have to say whatever it is everyone wants you to say to be a popular streamer.
If you deviate from what popular opinion is, you'll lose subscribers.
So just like the game and its story no matter what, even if you don't.
Oh, wow, it's the best game ever.
unidentified
And then people are like, why are you being mean to the game?
tim pool
Well, because the game mechanics are really incredible.
unidentified
The story's awful.
tim pool
And then it turns out the painter is not really the bad guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We get it.
She's just some lady.
There's water, but I bet it's cold water, so I can't go in that.
I can't drop down here.
Otherwise, Link just dies.
I didn't know that Link had spider powers, though, until I played Breath of the Wild.
We did it.
unidentified
Oh, God.
tate brown
By the way, Greece cleared most of its debt this year.
Oh, okay.
Then you can super chat.
tim pool
Oh, that's good news.
tate brown
Yeah, you can super chat.
tim pool
Good for Greece.
I like Greece.
unidentified
Love a little bit.
tim pool
They got a lot of drug-dealing, illegal immigrants, you know.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
If you want hookers in below, just go to downtown Athens and they're there.
tate brown
That's good to know.
unidentified
I'm going to go break a flight real quick.
tate brown
Athens, Georgia is still my favorite Athens.
Sorry.
tim pool
Especially when those guys took it over.
unidentified
Remember that?
tim pool
Yeah.
The Battle of Athens.
Do you know about that?
unidentified
That's not the anti-better.
tim pool
After World War II, the vets came back to find that there was a corrupt bureaucracy, so they got all their guns, shut up, and said, it's our town now.
And they just ended the local government.
tate brown
Oh, you can just do things.
unidentified
Yep.
tim pool
Was that the one where it's like they were going to repossess the lady's farm?
And she was a widower?
Not a widower.
She was a widow.
unidentified
I think so.
tim pool
And then they were like, you're not taking her farm.
And they were like, too bad.
So they were like, we have guns.
The farm is hers now.
unidentified
Yeah, it's basically one dude who's, as far as I remember, something happened, and then he just rounds up all the boys.
He's like, get your guns.
We're going.
You fought Tierney over there.
We're going to fight Tierney here now that we're back.
And they did it.
tate brown
Athens, Tennessee.
unidentified
Oh, and the Sheriff's Department tried to rig the election as well.
So they would have win.
Like they were stuffing the ballot box.
tim pool
It'd be funny if it's like, nah, you got to go back.
tate brown
Oh, they're saying you're referring to Athens, Tennessee.
tim pool
Oh, is that Athens, Tennessee?
That was Tennessee, dude.
Well, you see, there you go.
That's the point of having a live chat so that people can tell us what's up.
unidentified
Live fact checks.
tim pool
Battle of Athens is a lot more complex to him.
unidentified
Nope.
tim pool
Nope.
Just some literally one guy showed up and said, hey, it's my town now.
unidentified
It's town a big and hey, look, I found a bean.
Is it magical?
tim pool
I love how Link is like, I got no idea what's going on.
Oh, just I'm just going to touch it.
unidentified
Like, throughout all this, Dave refers, Dave just looks so unenthused about everything.
tim pool
He seems bored.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
He's like, oh, I got to do this again.
Oh, hey, look.
It's his lady.
If Link just consummates the relationship now, the game is over, but you know he won't.
Look at this.
He's like, I got a hand.
He had to look at his hand before shaking hers.
unidentified
I don't know.
It's dirty.
tim pool
Let's shake hands.
unidentified
Wow.
tim pool
So profound.
This is the furthest Link has ever gotten with Zelda.
I'm not kidding.
unidentified
Dude.
tim pool
Have you ever seen it?
He's just holding her hand is the most he's ever done.
unidentified
He got a quarter to first base, that's impressive.
tate brown
Just game after game of him getting friend zone.
unidentified
A quarter to first base.
You know, it's an infield fly role.
tate brown
Arshirio James.
tim pool
James Lindsay isn't wrong about the woke right.
Orthodoxy will take over in America and the West will pay the price.
He is completely wrong because he's incoherent.
tate brown
Yes.
tim pool
He's like, you know those guys that hate the Jews?
Woke right.
I'm like, tell me more.
And he goes, you know that guy who doesn't care about the Jews but thinks America should be a country?
Woke right too.
I'm like, hold on.
You know that guy who thinks war is really bad?
Yeah?
Woke right.
And I'm like, hold on.
All of that is woke right?
It's everything.
You're literally saying every conservative is woke.
tate brown
If you're to the right of John Kasich, you're woke right.
unidentified
I mean, it's just if you don't believe me, you're bad.
tate brown
Also, Orthodoxy.
tim pool
That makes no sense.
Like, every form of conservatism is woke now.
That's what James Lindsay is saying.
Like, or he's just lying.
unidentified
I think he's just, like, gone insane and complaining all the time now.
tate brown
Orthodoxy is not going to take over either.
tim pool
Recall.
Reverse an object's movement until it goes back to where it was.
tate brown
An online movement.
tim pool
Hey, that sounds fun.
Why is this gigantic rabbit telling me what to do?
tate brown
Tomorrow, USA celebrates its independence, and Greece celebrates 2004 Euro end.
tim pool
Tim, are you a secret Jew?
unidentified
Nope.
tate brown
You want to see an underdog story.
Greece 2004 Euro.
tim pool
His good hand.
tate brown
Beautiful thing.
tim pool
Time after time getting friends zoned.
tate brown
Yeah, literally.
tim pool
Zelda's like, I know you saved me like 17 times at this point, but I got to be honest.
You're just not the kind of guy I'm looking for.
Who else is there?
There's nobody who lives in this country.
There's literally like 12 people in the entirety of Hyrule.
unidentified
All the guys are literal goblins.
tim pool
I'm supposed to turn the clock back.
Oh, I can go back in time now.
What's happening?
Oh, I get it.
I get it.
unidentified
Never go back in time to not be a certain.
tim pool
There we go.
Look at that.
tate brown
What does this mean?
tim pool
If I could turn back time.
tate brown
What super chat?
tim pool
Was what?
Focus?
unidentified
That's the cat.
Yeah.
tate brown
That was before me.
tim pool
That was before your time.
tate brown
Wound that whispers gone, but time still bends around.
Wow.
tim pool
Focus is in Valhalla now.
unidentified
Yep.
tim pool
Alright, here's a statue.
Let me pray.
But who is Link praying to?
unidentified
It'd be funny if he just gets at it like a rug and lays it.
tate brown
James Lindsey TM praying and call it woke, right?
tim pool
Muslims are all woke, right?
Because they don't like Jews.
tate brown
Guys, I'm starting to think that Hamas is woke, right?
That's just me, though.
tim pool
Did he just die?
Wait, what happened?
unidentified
I don't think you have a health.
tim pool
This rabbit's pissing me off.
unidentified
Oh, No, no, no, no.
tate brown
Oh, my gosh.
tim pool
I will throw the controller at the screen right now.
Let me see your Nintendo Switch.
unidentified
Yeah.
Oh, I can fast travel now.
Jeez.
tim pool
I feel like the dude who made this was like, I hate gamers so much.
I'm going to make him hate this game.
unidentified
It's basically a game.
Yeah, you see.
You love it, don't you?
tate brown
It's true.
unidentified
Like, oh my god.
tim pool
I gotta go all the way back.
unidentified
Isn't that where you started?
Oh my god.
tate brown
What's the population of Hyrule?
What is the ethical composition of Hyrule?
tim pool
There's like 10 humans.
unidentified
About 50 billion goblins.
tim pool
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
That's interesting.
tate brown
You want to conquer Hyrule, but you don't know what it is.
tim pool
Where am I?
unidentified
I think this is a story of colonization.
tate brown
Daniel J. Korica, the fat electrician, did a video on the World War II vets that ended the corrupt system in that town.
Y'all should watch Happy Mag a month.
unidentified
It's a pretty good video.
tate brown
I'll check it out.
This is news to me.
I'm from Tennessee.
I didn't know this.
unidentified
She got that dude on.
He's always like in our engines.
tim pool
I don't know where I am or why I am.
Oh, this is where the game started.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
tate brown
We have found the true faith, not Alan Rodgers.
That's the Orthodox.
tim pool
So am I supposed to go up there or something?
tate brown
You gotta watch the J Dyer episode.
Ultra War.
tim pool
I can't Spider-Man now.
Okay, so Spider-Man.
He could only Spider-Man certain walls.
Oh, he's running around.
What am I supposed to do here?
unidentified
I don't get it.
I can't get up there.
tim pool
Look at that weak-ass vertical.
tate brown
Now they're saying ascend from here.
tim pool
Oh, yeah.
Man, I forgot about that dumb ability.
Because it's such a stupid thing to put in the game.
I didn't even realize.
unidentified
What are you doing?
If I could turn back down.
tim pool
Oh, I didn't realize that the fact that everything.
All of time goes backwards.
Oh, they're gears.
Now I get it.
tate brown
I actually did watch the J Dyer episode featuring a Catholic theologian trying to explain why Muslims are secretly Christian.
tim pool
Secretly.
tate brown
I'll leave it.
tim pool
See Jenk Uger saying that Muslims believe Jesus will return as the Messiah and say, oh, look at this.
I found a shrine.
tate brown
Is that a thing?
Is that like Islam DLC?
unidentified
I thought he was supposed to come back to prophesize it, but he's not supposed to come back as the Messiah.
tim pool
That sounds like it's made up.
tate brown
I'll let you Orthodox and Catholics duke it out.
tim pool
I'm a Protestant, so I ordered like 800 tacos yesterday and they're all in the fridge.
But who wants to eat soggy tacos from Taco Bell?
I just have to reorder the same thing again.
tate brown
That's kind of rock bottom if you're reheating Taco Bell.
Let us see.
tim pool
Well, if it's like a quesadilla, that's fine.
tate brown
That's acceptable.
tim pool
But the crunchy tacos become soft tacos.
tate brown
So the air fryer is the best bet.
unidentified
Hey, wait, wait.
tim pool
The ability to rewind time.
tate brown
Muslims believe Jesus will return as the Maya, as the Messiah, and say, oh, look, I found a shrine.
tim pool
Hey, look at this.
I'm going backwards.
unidentified
I'm going back in time.
And now what am I supposed to do?
tim pool
Ascend again?
What's up there?
unidentified
What's going on?
Yeah, what is that?
tim pool
Oh, I see.
Look at this.
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
tate brown
I love myself a good cheese and collagen piece of the.
Oh, interesting.
tim pool
Oh, look at this.
unidentified
Whoa.
tim pool
Length traveling through time now.
unidentified
the ability to control time.
tim pool
I hope it's a potato.
Arrows.
unidentified
That's not what I wanted.
tate brown
Say soggy tacos from Taco Bell five times fast.
I don't know.
tim pool
What am I supposed to do here?
tate brown
I'm afraid I'll say a slur or something.
tim pool
What is this?
I don't understand what's going on.
Oh, look at that.
You can rewind them.
I see.
I gotta connect them.
I get it.
Once they connect, you synchronize them.
tate brown
Rat47 says, Tim, I will buy that Yishtola card that you opened.
That's my favorite commander.
Also, you should definitely do one of these streams where you guys keep a commander.
tim pool
Japanese Ishtola surge foil.
Got one upstairs.
And I got a surge foil Tifa.
I remember getting it.
Oh, is that a mosquito?
I swear to God.
Yeah, it is.
So the studio here goes through cycles of infestations.
What was the first one?
Crickets?
It was crickets.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Then it was ladybugs.
No, no, it was stink bugs.
Then crickets, then ladybugs, then wasps.
And now it's mosquitoes.
tate brown
Dude, whatever Moses wants, just give it to him.
unidentified
Yeah, like we're getting the plague after plague.
We should let his people go.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
Okay, I did your stupid.
tate brown
Let a lot go.
unidentified
A lot sending plagues.
tate brown
So what Link's got the Infinity Stones now?
I guess so.
tim pool
I think I should order Taco Bell again.
tate brown
I could be.
tim pool
It's not for the week of gastrointestinal function.
tate brown
Or to be something MAGA for MAGA month.
What would be MAGA food?
We have to order burgers from Trump Tower and have them shut down.
unidentified
It has to be McDonald's.
tim pool
It's not letting me fast travel now.
Do I gotta like I gotta travel there?
can't just teleport?
tate brown
We've got one of those bug zapper lights that spent a lifesaver here in Florida.
tim pool
We have these like two octopath traveler on Switch.
Andy plays that.
tate brown
We have two little light light fly trap things and they get built up pretty quick.
unidentified
Hey, old web developer was telling me last night that he has this stuff for mosquitoes that the bug guys pick out.
It's like a it leaves like a mold around that just decimates the mosquito population.
And it doesn't smell.
tim pool
I think what we should do is capture all of the mosquitoes and then kill them or create a mosquito army.
tate brown
We need like a like an insect Stephen Miller to get them all out.
I guess you would just call them an exterminator that exists.
tim pool
The ladybugs were fun.
When the ladybugs were infesting, it was like, oh, look at that.
They don't do anything.
tate brown
They can fly around.
Butterfly infestation.
I don't think anybody'd be mad.
tim pool
The wasps were pretty disconcerting.
tate brown
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
It's like a security problem.
tim pool
The crickets were funny.
Because there were so many of them.
tate brown
Someone chose to crack a joke in IRL.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
You know what I think is happening is the bugs are eating the corpses of the other bugs.
unidentified
Right.
tim pool
And then once there's no corpses left, like all the crickets died.
And then the cricket corpses became food for the wasps.
And then the wasp corpses became food for something else.
unidentified
You know?
Like the greatest prophet of our time said, life finds way.
Hmm.
tate brown
Broken Whiskers remembers Tim Kess.
unidentified
He loves focus through fire and dark.
He's really torn up about focus.
tim pool
Okay, here we go.
Now I'm gonna pray this rock.
You have all the heart container.
Well, I mean, that was my only option, lady.
I will give you a heart container for four orbs of light.
tate brown
Get more frogs in there.
That was my idea.
Get the more frogs in there.
Have an army.
tim pool
So what did that do?
That removed some of the darkness?
Restore some of the life you lost to the gloom.
unidentified
The gloom.
tim pool
Go and bring peace to the world.
Well, I mean, Link seems to be the one who has started the problem.
He and Zelda went down into the basement, and there was some monster, and then they let it out.
tate brown
Cicadas are next.
Keep cicadas next.
unidentified
Oh, God.
tate brown
Serge would have to do overtime on the audio to get that dialed in.
Earwigs are everywhere this year in Marksburg.
Dude, they're bad.
tim pool
Oh, yeah.
I saw some earwigs.
tate brown
Those are bad.
They're down by where I live.
tim pool
They crawl into your ear and then gnaw into your brain and kill you.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
I think because they're called earwigs, people believe that.
unidentified
Yeah.
I thought it was like someone just started coming up with that.
Evil serpents.
tate brown
When I was in Trinidad, they were telling me about the penis fish, and if you pee in the water, it swims up your ureuta.
tim pool
I don't think that's real.
tate brown
The Trinidadians certainly thought so.
unidentified
I was on A Thousand Ways to Die.
No.
tim pool
How is it like getting your shorts?
So it's a bit of a stream.
unidentified
No, so you mean when you're peeing in the river, it swims upstream.
tim pool
No, it doesn't.
unidentified
Oh, like into like when the urethra, yeah.
tate brown
And it like expands and you can't pull it out.
unidentified
It has spikes that lock in.
tim pool
I don't.
I think you guys are making this up.
tate brown
It's the Trinidad.
unidentified
They may have made it up.
I'm just the messenger.
tate brown
Kellen says, Tate, ask Tim if we can have a fireworks party.
tim pool
Only if it rains.
tate brown
Wait, fireworks aren't.
tim pool
Our Shiro says, James isn't wrong.
You aren't paying attention.
Let me stress this again.
When James Lindsay calls literally every form of conservatism woke right, I'm pretty sure he's wrong.
tate brown
What if he was the woke right this whole time?
tim pool
Well, I think James Lindsay is woke-right.
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
tim pool
And what I mean by that is there's the woke, and there's a left and a right side of wokeness.
And he is the right side of wokeness, as in he is a cultist liberal who demands that everyone adhere to his orthodoxy.
And the other thing, too, is the reason why he's doing it.
So what happened was when he called out wokeness in academia, he got embraced by conservatives because there was a unified front.
But he's still a liberal who wants to do liberal things like sleep around and conservatives don't like this.
Now that wokeness is on the decline, he's basically got nothing left career-wise.
He can't go back to academia because he's exiled from it and conservatives don't really care what he has to say anymore.
So he's kind of in this empty zone.
And so what he's doing now is he's accusing any, like, there's like seven different factions of right, nationalist, or conservative values.
He's calling all of them woke right despite them disagreeing with each other and not liking each other.
And he's doing it so that he can get back into the good graces of the establishment.
Now, like, the New York Times is interviewing him.
It's cringe.
Okay, I'm going to say it again.
If you want to say that, like, Nick Fuentes is woke-right because he says, oh, we're being oppressed by the Jews or whatever, and he's using critical theory, I say, okay, I'm listening.
And then he goes, also Dave Smith.
And I'm like, well, Dave Smith is an anti-interventionist who doesn't agree, and he is Jewish.
He's still woke right.
Okay, what?
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
All right, and I'm confused.
You know, Orrin McIntyre?
Yeah, he's an American.
He's a civic nationalist.
Well, he's also woke right.
Hold on.
What?
These guys are completely at odds with each other.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
You know Carl Benjamin, the British guy?
Yeah?
Woke right.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Carl Benjamin is a post-liberal.
Woke-right.
Okay, what does woke-right mean?
unidentified
Oh.
tim pool
It means I don't like him.
unidentified
Okay, whatever.
tate brown
Yeah, his whole camp, every time I see him on my timeline, it's just them punching right.
So I don't know what their utility is.
unidentified
I dismute it because it's just so annoying.
tate brown
I've muted, yeah.
Woke right's muted on my timeline.
I can't take it anymore.
tim pool
When you're arguing with Carl Benjamin of what left and right are, you've already lost the plot.
tate brown
Kandiru fish, that's what they're saying.
That's the penis fish.
unidentified
Is it the point of an abstract concept to argue about it?
tim pool
Diddy was a woke left liberal.
unidentified
What are we doing here?
tim pool
What is it?
Kandiru?
tate brown
The species is known for its alleged tendency to invade parasitize the human erythro.
tim pool
So, like.
tate brown
But they're saying there's alleged.
tim pool
Because I don't like them.
You don't understand them, so you purposely misrepresent them.
That's exactly what James Lindsay is doing.
Dave Smith and Nick Fuentes are at complete odds with each other, and the only thing they have in common is they're critical in some way of U.S. funding Israel.
And the problem with that is Dave Smith's criticism of funding of Israel is largely the funding of any foreign government.
So it's like saying, me personally, I don't think the U.S. should be funding Ukraine or Israel or whatever, South Korea.
But because one component of it is Israel, I'm woke right.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Wait, wait, what?
And so a bunch of these guys were even tweeting at me that I was woke right, and I'm like, please, dude.
unidentified
And they're like, well, maybe you're not woke right, but you're very similar to them.
tim pool
Uh-huh, dude, shut up.
unidentified
It's pathetic.
tate brown
It's the weirdest talking point.
tim pool
If you were going to make the argument that the people who think that Jews are the oppressive group, so they make these pyramid charts where it shows like the oppression hierarchy and like white people are on top.
And then the anti-Semitic people put Jews above it, like a Star of David above the top of the pyramid.
And they're like, this is the real truth.
And I'm like, okay, that's stupid.
And that is, I've called it for a long time, it's the same ideology as the left in that they're blaming a race of people for all of their problems.
The issue with James Lindsay is that he literally said national conservatism is the final boss.
And for all the people that are ignoring that, that James Lindsay literally tweeted he hates national conservatives and that's the final boss of the woke right.
I'm like, guys, he's telling you he just hates conservatives.
So he's smearing them.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
Okay, so now I'm going to jump off the edge here into the water.
unidentified
Is that what I'm supposed to do?
tim pool
Let's just save again.
Nope.
tate brown
The right as the final boss of the woke right.
tim pool
Pretty sure you're going to die if you do this.
But sure, why not?
unidentified
Head first.
About a mile down.
tim pool
You can do it, Link.
unidentified
Ha ha ha.
I was aiming for the lily pin.
tim pool
Come on, Spider-Man.
unidentified
Okay, Hyrule Kingdom.
tim pool
So, let me get this straight.
Link saved the day, defeated Ganon, conquered all the bad guys, but then he goes to a sky temple that was there the whole time.
There's a rock fallen.
And now he's back to Hyrule, but Hyrule's like all bad again.
tate brown
This is what the dinosaurs look like.
tim pool
What was that going?
tate brown
Last thing I saw.
unidentified
What was that?
Very gentle meteorite.
tate brown
Slow News Day, you have no idea.
Yep, the lead on the Daily Mail was what, like, TMZ level dropped.
tim pool
Yeah, it was like some guy you never heard of broke up with his girlfriend, and I was like, I have no idea what that is.
And then post-Millennial just had a bunch of stories from like two days ago.
This happens every time there's a holiday.
Today is a travel day for the holiday, and we always try to work on them, thinking like, no, no, we'll do it.
The problem is, any, like, all of the movers and shakers and the people who do things that will result in kind of a news story aren't doing anything.
They're traveling.
And so then you, oh, look at that, a fox.
So then, you know, I pull up the news websites.
We're going through everything, and I'm like, okay, we could do a bunch of segments on, like, psychology and cultural stuff.
You know, and sometimes we do.
bo goblin arm Give me your arm, bro.
tate brown
Orthodoxy went from a few hundred thousand to a few million within five years.
Keep telling yourself it's online.
You have the post-not.
tim pool
Orthodoxy.
Wait, wait, hold on.
Hold on.
Are they saying that Woke Red is now Orthodoxy?
tate brown
No, no, no.
tim pool
But who cares about Orthodoxy?
Are you saying that the Orthodox are now woke right now?
tate brown
No, this was from a while ago.
It just took him a while to cook that up.
tim pool
Wait, wait, wait, was that?
Scroll up?
Scroll up.
What is it?
Tim, are you a conspiracy UFO grifter nut job now?
Well, actually, I made like five videos about UFOs.
Because we had a member of Congress who's investigating it.
Stop being so incurious.
tate brown
There was two mass shootings last night.
One at a mall and another in Chicago at an album release.
Yeah, that's called news.
tim pool
No, no.
We talked about this this morning.
Mass shootings in Chicago aren't news.
it's just a Wednesday it's like if I'm not clicking on that now.
What happens every day?
tate brown
Breaking news, Mosquito in Studio.
unidentified
Breaking news, the sky is blue.
tim pool
No, the breaking news was a frog was in the studio.
Remember that?
That was like one of the most legendary moments ever.
tate brown
They used to always happen in my building with logs.
My apartment in New York, when I would leave, it would come back and it'd be all foggy.
tim pool
Okay, I got a log here.
What do I do with it?
tate brown
Like, I didn't unlock the map yet.
unidentified
That's how it feels around here when it gets really foggy.
Yeah.
tate brown
Let's make a few segments to unlock this part of the studio.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Let's go, Link.
Walk on a log.
I like how it plays music.
Like, you discovered you can stand on stuff.
Uh-oh, look at this.
It's slanty.
What am I supposed to do about this here?
Slant.
Looks like I'm going to have to stick two things together at a cross.
unidentified
Come back.
tim pool
Get over here.
unidentified
Alright, come on.
tate brown
Hey, Tim, do you have your magic decks list posted online?
tim pool
Nope.
tate brown
You're just going to have to zoom in behind him and see if you can see him.
tim pool
I'm just making it worse.
unidentified
I don't know what I'm doing with this thing.
tim pool
Alright, let's see.
unidentified
I don't think that's gonna work Oh, come on.
tim pool
Can he not climb?
He's just literally going to die right here.
Is that what's going to happen?
Get on a log, nude.
tate brown
You recently had a Catholic, Orthodox, and Methodist some culture or winner.
You're going to have a Mormon on.
Jacob Hansen of Thoughtful Faith would be great.
tim pool
That is a good idea.
tate brown
That'd be interesting.
a mormon versus jay dyer versus someone protestant would be interesting Alright, you can dunk on Mormons, but they get their own planets.
I mean, that sounds pretty compelling.
tim pool
Really?
tate brown
Yeah.
Yeah, they believe when you die, you get your own planet.
But they can't have sugar or caffeine.
I don't know if I could do that.
tim pool
Wait, they can't have sugar?
tate brown
Yeah, they believe anything that's a stimulant alters the mind.
tim pool
Sugar's not a stimulant.
unidentified
It's sugar they can have.
It's caffeine.
tate brown
They can't have caffeine.
I thought they can't have...
unidentified
I think that's like the FLDS.
tate brown
Oh, right, yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
But as far as I know, like the majority of Mormons, like there's a huge soda addiction problem in it.
tate brown
They call it Dirty Dr. Pepper.
They put like half and half and dye Dr. Pepper.
unidentified
Like I was watching a video, they have these soda shops over there that's just like, you just put all these syrups in your like fucking coke.
Turn the 70 sugar into sugar.
Yeah.
tate brown
James Lindsay's in chat.
So sugar's fine, okay.
Sorry.
I correct myself.
The caffeine's legit.
I spoke to a Mormon who says, if you're truly following Mormonism, you can have caffeine.
unidentified
Although, apparently they're starting to come around having medical marijuana.
tate brown
Really?
unidentified
Yeah, which I thought was wild because they can't drink coffee.
tate brown
You can tell like in the Mormon community things are secularizing a bit because they were always famous for their birth rates and now their birth rates are returning down to earth.
They have a soda place called Swig.
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
Oh, I gotta hit that.
unidentified
I think that's the thing I was thinking of.
Gotta hit that up.
these logs are woke right Stop doing that, Link.
tim pool
You dumbass.
Link is woke right.
tate brown
He's cross-dressing.
Tobacco is good, too.
tim pool
Tobacco is woke right.
tate brown
There's very woke.
Latter-day Saints.
tim pool
Ganondorf is woke elect.
tate brown
What is the deal with that?
Like, Mormons come to my house and I ask if they're Mormons and they like get bent out of shape and they like act like they've never heard that before and they're like we're actually Latter-day Saints.
unidentified
Never heard that before.
tate brown
I'm like, you can't rebrand like the last.
That's like when people go trans and they change your name and they get mad when you don't call them Caitlin.
It's like, well you just switched it yesterday.
Give me some time to get used to Latter-day Saint.
unidentified
It's like I was trying to went trans like 20 years by one name.
It's like get that out of shape and like don't call them by their other name.
You want me to break 20 years?
Okay.
tate brown
Tim, get into electric unicycles.
They'll blow your mind.
I used to ride them in China a ton.
Finally got to use one in the US.
Electric unicycle?
tim pool
Mormon is not our name.
tate brown
Dude, you just switched it, bro.
Like, you can't get...
unidentified
Dead naming him.
tate brown
Yeah, give us like 10 years and then you can get on us about it.
tim pool
You think I'm going to make it?
unidentified
Probably not.
tate brown
Yeah, see, Joseph Smith, this is Archerius.
Joseph Smith just said, let them call us what they want.
Yeah, see?
tim pool
Yeah, see, that's okay.
tate brown
That's okay.
tim pool
That was always allowed.
tate brown
Big Joe said it's Joe.
tim pool
And he died.
I like how he's literally right there, but then he goes, oh, and then all of a sudden he's all the way back at the other side.
Like, what does that even mean?
Just eating mushrooms and spicy peppers.
Let's try this again.
tate brown
Mormons worship compact discs.
Disavow.
tim pool
What is it doing?
tate brown
I like Mormons.
Disavow.
tim pool
What is this thing doing?
tate brown
Oh, Arshirio's crashing out in chat.
Alright, dude.
tim pool
What is going on with this?
It's spiraling out of control.
What is it doing?
Yo, this is wild.
tate brown
Alright, I'm done reading chat until you guys get off the Mormon topic.
unidentified
Enough.
tate brown
Conversation's ended.
unidentified
Is it really popping off?
tate brown
Yeah, they're like, that's not our name.
unidentified
That's our word.
tim pool
That's not my name.
that's not my name How did he not make it?
That's not even that far.
Oh, it's because the water's pushing me backwards.
unidentified
Alright, well I'll just sit here like this until he does.
tim pool
Nah, it's piss.
Piss of the fallen kingdom.
Come on, Link.
You can do it.
You can do it, buddy.
Don't make me get more logs.
I don't want to do it.
We don't need no more logs.
unidentified
He's not going to make it.
tim pool
Hey, hey, look at that, like a boss.
tate brown
All right, how about Scientology?
Is Scientology still like a thing?
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
They're just very private.
I know a bunch of Scientologists, they never talk about it.
tate brown
Really?
tim pool
Yep.
And I'm like, why not?
tate brown
Kind of seems like it's gone underground a little bit.
unidentified
What's their OT level?
tim pool
No idea.
We've had Scientologists on the show, and they're like, I don't talk religion.
And I was like, okay.
We don't do it all that often anyway, so...
unidentified
Yeah.
May the light of blessed...
tate brown
This is so woke.
tim pool
Like, I played Breath of the Wild.
None of his shrines were anywhere.
I think he's the bad guy.
unidentified
He's the prophet, peace be upon his name.
tim pool
Rararu or something?
Hey, look, there's goats.
Hey, a dog.
Yo.
tate brown
Letter incoming from their lawyers.
tim pool
Can you pet the dog?
Why would you let me pet the dog?
Yo, what up, what up, bruh?
Look at that.
He's right up in my grill.
Take a look at my wares.
No.
unidentified
I think that's your aspen.
tim pool
When will they arrive?
Honestly, I don't know, nor do I care.
unidentified
Hey, here, do you want to see my wares?
tim pool
Link is just over here climbing trees.
Zelda is dying.
The kingdom is collapsing.
I'm going to go fishing.
tate brown
Have Tom Cruise on IRL.
Yeah, someone ask him for us.
That'd be awesome.
tim pool
I mean, honestly, like, the kingdom deserves Ganon.
I hope Ganon succeeds.
Because how many times is Zelda gonna let the country fall to darkness?
Made Hyrule great again.
Dude, if you're if she's basically the Joe Biden of fantasy countries.
Like the 27th time some catastrophe.
So I gotta build stuff.
Okay, I'm gonna put the wheel.
unidentified
The wheel's wrong.
tim pool
Look at that.
That makes no sense.
tate brown
It says literally Gmod.
unidentified
I can't count this as well.
Oh, the Gmod is horrible.
tim pool
See, what they want me to do is use those planks to make the car.
unidentified
But I am going to make a skateboard instead.
The 2x4 board has a gun.
Oh, let's go.
tim pool
Climb up.
Now what do I do?
tate brown
What is SEK?
What kind of currency is that?
unidentified
That's like the Turkish one, I think.
tim pool
Nah, that's the...
Hey, look at that guy.
tate brown
Says, hey, Tim, ever thought about inviting Titan Gilroy to the culture where he's a big proponent of American manufacturing and educational manufacturing.
unidentified
What am I supposed to do with this car that I just built?
tim pool
Oh, no, they're playing horns.
We don't need none of that.
unidentified
Oh, it's Crowner.
tim pool
Crowner?
Oh, Swedish.
Swedish crowns.
Hey, look at this.
These guys can't get me because I got a big old piece of wood.
tate brown
Who's the trump of Hyrule?
unidentified
I don't know.
Oh, that guy lost sight of you, so he de-aggroed for a second.
tim pool
Let me just stop fighting real quick while I eat a bunch of spicy peppers.
unidentified
Oh no, my bone broke.
Oh, yo, what?
tim pool
Right, Jagoff.
unidentified
I don't see that.
tim pool
Dude, I did not even do anything to these guys, and they started attacking me.
Oh, okay, so I put those on my stick.
unidentified
There's a mushroom on my thing.
tim pool
So how do I make the skateboard go?
tate brown
People are saying either a fan or a zoni device.
unidentified
Well, yeah, I know, but that's stupid.
tim pool
Why can't I move it with me on it?
unidentified
Not strong enough, of course yet, yo.
Oh, man.
tim pool
But I can't put the fan on it.
unidentified
Because it's a skateboard.
tate brown
What is the McDonald's of High Rule of Fuel Trump?
tim pool
Hey, I got one of these.
tate brown
Very good question.
unidentified
Alright, we just got to put it in the middle right here.
tim pool
Self-contained.
Hop on, brother.
Let's roll.
tate brown
Oh, yeah.
tim pool
But how do I steer it?
tate brown
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
tim pool
I think the reality is the skateboard idea is not very good.
tate brown
And maybe you get two other fans and you turn them off and on to blow each direction.
unidentified
Oh, that's a good idea.
tim pool
Let's crack that wheel off.
Give me a wheel, give it a wheel.
unidentified
Break it off.
Alright.
tim pool
I know what you want me to do, you dumb game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
unidentified
oh look what i made Hyrule isn't ready for skateboards.
Look at it.
Oh, gosh.
tate brown
What a monstrosity we created.
tim pool
Why isn't it fusing properly?
unidentified
Woke right.
tate brown
We've created an axle now.
tim pool
Indeed.
unidentified
Okay.
tate brown
Steering stick, everyone tell Tim, steering stick.
tim pool
What is that a thing?
tate brown
There's a steering column device you get later.
Well, that doesn't help the sound.
unidentified
Yeah, what do you want about?
tate brown
Attach a mini minecart to your shield to get a skateboard.
You can rail grind with it, too.
From Eric Washington.
tim pool
Look at that axle just rolling around.
unidentified
You can't read that chat, but that's funny.
Now you know it's good.
tim pool
Nah, what are you doing?
There we go.
tate brown
Skateboards are too advanced for the gaming industry, but I think they're close to cracking it.
unidentified
Will the wheels still work if I do this?
Just release another.
tim pool
Oh no, it attached them to the wheels.
unidentified
Skate.
Get filled with microtransaction somehow.
tate brown
Oh, God.
tim pool
Is it out?
I thought it wasn't out yet.
unidentified
I think it comes out this year.
tim pool
Alright, there we go.
Made the old linkmobile.
Let's hit it.
We ride.
tate brown
Not reading funny chats is so oakright.
No, it's terms of service, right?
unidentified
Yo, is this thing going to be a duck?
tim pool
You know what I mean?
Like it can go in the water too?
tate brown
Oh, yeah, a little duck though.
unidentified
Yeah!
tate brown
Let's go.
tim pool
We ride.
unidentified
Why?
tim pool
I'm running out of juice.
tate brown
Let's turn into Sea of Thieves really quick.
tim pool
I don't know why I built this and wasted all of my juice.
What was the point?
There we go.
Onto land.
We ride.
Let's go.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
tim pool
Uh-oh.
How do I put him back in my inventory?
Oh, whatever.
That was a waste.
Oh, it just automatically recharges.
Okay, well, give me back my boat.
unidentified
Let's go.
tim pool
Alright, I don't know where I'm going, but we're going.
tate brown
Deport the raft.
tim pool
Deport.
unidentified
Let's ride.
tim pool
That's it.
This is the game.
This is all I'm doing.
unidentified
This is sick.
tim pool
Hey, look, there's a bird up there.
He's got a guy.
What's he doing?
tate brown
This is the Mark Twain simulator.
tim pool
Oh, no, what's happening?
Why are there just, like...
tate brown
He said the Houthis are attacking.
unidentified
uh...
tim pool
that's funny Hold on.
Can I defy the laws of physics?
The only thing I ever wanted to do was break physics.
And so I...
It's stuck.
There we go.
So as it is written, so shall it be done.
Wait, which way does this thing blow?
Blows this way.
tate brown
Hakeem Jeffries is still filibustering, apparently.
Let's see.
tim pool
Really?
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
Because someone just said, uh, This stream is a thousand times more important than Teemu Obama yammering.
unidentified
Teemu Obama.
tim pool
Hey, look, look, look, look.
unidentified
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
tim pool
Hold on.
I did not do that.
unidentified
Come on.
Come on.
tim pool
I want this to attach like this.
So I can do this.
unidentified
Is the game...
tate brown
Nice.
unidentified
Physics be damned!
tim pool
Yo, it's working!
unidentified
What?
It's really fighting it, but...
tim pool
Yo, the developers don't understand the law of conservation of energy.
unidentified
It's working.
Unlimited power glitch.
tim pool
This is so dumb.
tate brown
Eat your heart out, Newton.
unidentified
Eat your heart out.
tate brown
Yeah, Timu Obama's still going.
tim pool
In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics.
There it goes.
unidentified
It's working.
It's working.
tate brown
Can you rotate the sail to make a good direction?
tim pool
Yeah, I think so.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
Oh!
tim pool
The sail just flipped around for some reason.
Why is it doing it?
unidentified
I think it's tied to the wind.
tim pool
Oh, that makes sense.
unidentified
We ride.
Look at that.
It works.
tate brown
Let's go.
tim pool
In Hyrule, they do not have a law of conservation of energy.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
tim pool
Spin!
unidentified
Oh, crap.
tim pool
I mean, shouldn't the water flow be spinning me?
tate brown
Yeah, six hours of team so far.
He's really going after it.
tim pool
Wait.
Oh, the wind has got this thing.
unidentified
That's a damn.
There we go.
we disable it What is going on with this thing?
Okay, that's it.
tim pool
I'm taking you up.
unidentified
pull up the browser I'm just stuck here.
Hey, there we go.
tim pool
Will I just die if I stay on this thing?
Oh, the wind is going the other direction.
unidentified
way i have no idea what i'm supposed to be doing Yeah.
tate brown
With the rumblers rupture.
I guess I can put both chats side by side.
tim pool
Is there a reason why I built this thing?
unidentified
I'm leaving.
How do I fly?
tim pool
I watch the videos where you links flying around.
Can I eat the mushroom that's on my stick?
This is too much effort.
Hairy bottle sack.
tate brown
Swampy had that to say.
tim pool
Hey, look, a treasure chest.
tate brown
Thank you for your thoughts, Swampy.
tim pool
I want that treasure chest.
Oh, what is this?
unidentified
Yo!
tim pool
Did I find a skateboard already?
tate brown
Go!
tim pool
What is it?
That's a spring?
It don't work.
tate brown
Oh, people are debating the thermodynamics right now.
tim pool
The what dynamics?
tate brown
They're saying watch MythBusters episode of Mythbusters.
tim pool
Oh, they actually get that to work?
tate brown
I think so.
tim pool
I saw them.
I remember the one where they used an inertial engine.
So they were on a boat.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
tim pool
Skeletons are attacking me.
They're on a boat, and they had an engine where it would fire a piston.
And the idea was by launching the piston forward, it would stop and then pull everything with it.
tate brown
Right.
tim pool
But the way physics is supposed to work is that when it fires, it pushes both backwards.
So the force of it hitting and stopping wouldn't make it go forward because it's equally going backwards.
However, it worked.
And so they were like, something about it is displacing the distribution of energy, so it actually was going boom, boom, boom, and pulling them forward.
unidentified
So, you know.
tim pool
Sturdy, thick stick.
Yo, don't throw rocks at me, dude.
tate brown
Yes, Rumblers were reading your chats, too.
It's the Mythbusters.
Mythbusters is a rumble.
unidentified
Good chat.
tim pool
Bo Goblin.
This is substantially more important than whatever Hakeem Jeffries has to say.
tate brown
It's so true.
He's just yapping.
unidentified
We're yapping, but...
tim pool
I'm about to get struck by lightning.
tate brown
Oh, no.
It's over.
tim pool
Why?
Why did I die?
unidentified
Gosh.
tate brown
That was grim.
That was very grim.
tim pool
Continue from the last save.
I think the first save right now is Taco Bell.
We have like 17 burritos in the fridge, though.
tate brown
Yeah, and that's all like ganachos in there or something.
tim pool
Oh, I see a shrine.
I'm going to run towards that.
Solve some puzzles.
Fuse the cart to your shield and you can skate.
Look at that guy.
He's got a gigantic stick.
That is not appropriate.
tate brown
Talking about this conservation of energy makes me crave hot wings.
Okay, that was Helmsway's contribution.
tim pool
Look at this guy.
unidentified
I just always think about it.
tim pool
How do I dodge this?
unidentified
on earth Come on.
tim pool
He just one-shotted me.
unidentified
Gosh.
tim pool
Link just dies.
Game over.
tate brown
Game over.
unidentified
That was like a world star fight.
tim pool
You can't have metal equipped in a lightning storm.
Metal shield, huh?
tate brown
Yeah, that makes sense.
tim pool
Well, I mean, no one told me that.
Okay.
unidentified
That's why I play golf and lightning.
tate brown
Clears the corso.
tim pool
Can I fuse a barrel to my bouncy bat?
To my rusty shield.
Hit my barrel.
This guy's going to one-shot me.
Oh!
unidentified
Slow-key barrel.
tate brown
Tim, do you guys have feral hogs in your neck of the woods?
tim pool
Too many.
tate brown
Yeah, they're kind of.
They're everywhere.
They're everywhere, yeah.
My friend in Texas, he gets on a helicopter and he shoots up the hogs from like Vietnam-era helicopter.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Yo, I don't.
How is it that I died a one-hit and that was only a four-attack weapon?
Oh, God, he's chasing me.
unidentified
Horse part is with the amount of them that there usually are.
You kind of need to do that.
tate brown
Yeah, he literally does it not because it's fun, but because of necessity.
They just tear everything up.
tim pool
I would prefer the rusty Halberd.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
tim pool
Here he comes.
He's running.
unidentified
I'm running.
tim pool
I ain't got nothing to do with whatever it is you're on about.
unidentified
Ooh, he's swinging at me.
tim pool
Uh-oh.
Am I going to get struck by lightning again?
unidentified
Maybe the metal.
tate brown
Oh, yeah, it has metal on the outside of it.
I wonder if it's that advanced.
tim pool
There, I'm not wearing metal no more.
Who's this guy?
Is he a bad guy?
unidentified
You're not wearing metal.
Your arm is just made out of it.
tim pool
No, his arm's like a rabbit or something.
unidentified
Well, that's odd.
tim pool
Yeah, don't you know anything?
unidentified
No.
tim pool
So, I think there's not going to be a show tonight.
We were planning on having a show, and then this morning at the last minute, we decided not to do it.
Because.
And that's why we're doing the three-hour just gaming stream hangout, because it's the day before the holiday.
Half the people are already gone.
The only news is that Hakeem Jeffries won't shut up.
unidentified
It's not really news, though.
tim pool
No, and that's the thing.
It's the day before the 4th of July.
He's doing it on purpose.
Because he knows that all members of Congress want to go home and light fireworks and eat cheeseburgers.
unidentified
He's pulling a strom.
tim pool
Yep.
unidentified
So.
tim pool
Combat training.
Throwing.
Hey, look at this.
Halberds.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
tim pool
He's got a bow and arrow.
The shrine purifies the ancient evil.
You who have entered here, heed my instruction.
Can I skip this?
Steady your aim and throw the weapon at the enemy.
unidentified
Yeah, I get it, dude.
tate brown
Phil could play the star-spangled banner on guitar for the stream.
That's an option I didn't think about.
tim pool
Yeah, I get it.
Wow, it's still tutorial?
unidentified
Have like another hour and 50-something minutes to cover afterwards.
tim pool
Look how long this takes.
unidentified
Well done.
Watch the enemy's movements and throw up him carefully.
tim pool
I tried watching Star Wars, the first one.
It's so boring.
unidentified
Which first one?
tim pool
A new hope.
tate brown
You don't like it?
tim pool
It's just so slow.
unidentified
I third one of those is Empire.
tim pool
I'm going to throw the stick at you.
tate brown
I just like Jar Jar.
I'm a simple man.
Because I have no media literacy, so I just enjoy every movie I've ever watched.
tim pool
You have proven your mastery.
unidentified
Uh-huh.
I think Matt Walsh is supposed to debate some Star Wars YouTubers soon.
tim pool
Death Angel says, is there any news today?
Indeed, there is not.
Black Clover reboot.
Wait, what?
The rebooting black clover?
They finished it?
I was unaware.
tate brown
Peanut butter hamburgers.
Yeah, Sonic did that a few years ago, and it was actually, it worked.
You'd be surprised.
It works.
tim pool
Have you seen the prequels?
unidentified
I did.
tim pool
I like Rogue One.
But A New Hope is just, it's really slow.
And I think the thing about the first one is that it was revolutionary when they made that movie at the time.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
tim pool
The effects and everything.
It's like you're sitting in the theater, like, whoa.
Spaceships, lasers, lightsabers.
unidentified
And he went back to change a bunch of stuff like multiple times over the years because he didn't have the technology to do it back then.
tim pool
Cringe.
Han shot first.
unidentified
Yes, he did.
tate brown
Wow, my comet got red.
Honestly, makes my day.
Well, then you got two red.
tim pool
Anime continuation.
Star Trek is where it's at.
Next gen. Agreed.
That is the greatest.
Oh, look at that.
They got lightning coming out of it.
unidentified
I never understood why people compared it to Star Wars.
Because they're just different.
tim pool
Well, Star Wars is stupid, and Star Trek is good.
That's why.
Star Wars makes no sense.
It's like...
And what was it, like, four years later they made a sequel?
It's kind of nuts.
Did you know that you couldn't watch Star Wars?
It didn't come out on VHS for years.
So it was like you could only see it in theaters.
That was the only way to see the movie.
That's weird.
Because now it's like you can watch the movie before it's even in theaters.
tate brown
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah, theaters are an option.
tate brown
Also, like, there's a really good case to be made for why the Empire was the good guys and the Rebels just completely destabilized.
unidentified
without the expanded universe, yes.
tim pool
Wasn't it that Sidious was trying to Yeah.
So I think in the extended universe, before they got rid of it, the reason he was building the Death Star and mechanizing the galaxy was that there was an external threat from another galaxy that was going to come.
unidentified
Yeah, I think that was one of them.
Then they also did the whole...
Like the Thrawn trilogy, I believe, is still canon.
They basically just cherry-picked what they wanted.
tate brown
The Rebels are literally just a Taliban.
unidentified
Yeah.
tate brown
The Empire's trying to hold it together.
unidentified
Then you go to, like, the Empire's, like, mass genocide of whole planets in the Expenda Universe.
It's like, okay, now it's blow off.
tate brown
You gotta crack that.
tim pool
No, no, no.
They only wrote that stuff in because when people watched A New Hope, they were like, what did the Empire do that justified the acts of terror?
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
And then people go, well, Tim, he did blow up Alderan.
No, no, no, no, hold on.
That's after the terrorists attacked Scarif.
And then they're like, well, we need to make sure the Empire's the bad guys, so let's write a whole bunch of stuff after the fact to justify why they're the bad guys.
But if you go back to the original trilogy, the Empire didn't do anything.
Like, I'm not saying they didn't do anything.
I'm saying in the movies, nothing is explained as to why the Empire was bad.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
And then Vader blows up Alderaan, and you're like, see, he built the planet's like, that's during a war.
tate brown
It's kind of like I ran.
tim pool
To be fair, killing billions of people is not a good thing.
A lot of collateral damage.
tate brown
It's controversial.
unidentified
It's definitely controversial.
tim pool
I think, however, that it's all propaganda.
And someone needs to write Star Wars from the Empire's perspective.
tate brown
I agree.
I agree wholeheartedly.
tim pool
And it's like the Sith are not bad guys.
The Jedi just call them bad guys.
And the Jedi are like weird child abducting eunuchs.
They are.
unidentified
They're a relationship.
tim pool
And it's true.
And what I would look at is like the Sith.
See, the reason we think the Sith are bad is because the Jedi wrote the story.
But if you actually break down, the Sith aren't just going on mindlessly murdering children for no reason, right?
So Anakin didn't go and just massacre a bunch of innocent younglings.
These kids were strapped with forced dynamite.
And he was like, these extremist Jedi.
Dude, Mace Windu tried to assassinate the duly elected chancellor.
What a bad guy.
And they try spinning it like he's the good guy somehow.
See, they couldn't get around that one.
But the Sith, if I was going to rewrite it, they would be pragmatic.
Like, listen, the wielding of power isn't inherently evil.
You can be passionate about what you want to do.
You don't got to be some eunuch monk kidnapping kids to have horsepowers.
But the Jedi are like, we must kill the Sith.
There's thousands of Jedi, and they hunt down and murder the Sith.
That doesn't sound like the Jedi are the good guys.
They just claim to be.
tate brown
Yep.
They should be classified as a terrorist organization.
The Empire brought stability, man.
The credits.
If you needed a job, you just become a clone or stormtrooper.
tim pool
Look at this.
tate brown
American M says, I agree the originals are outdated and should be remade with recasted characters.
unidentified
We have new sequels.
No.
No.
Just owned by Disney.
tate brown
Plan the Man says, as Nintendo nerds, how do y'all feel about the Halo franchise pre and post 343?
unidentified
It's garbage post 343.
They really screwed it up after Reach was the line.
tim pool
I say we remake Star Wars, not with Disney, but on our own.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
And we explain why the Sith are the good.
We made the Jedi as the bad guys.
So the movie would start with the galaxy being controlled by a religious sect.
Think about this.
The Jedi aren't elected.
Let's just talk about the prequels.
There's a council of Jedi that make military decisions.
They're unelected and religious.
That's Iran.
tate brown
And they're also incestuous with Leia and Luke.
Also like Iran.
There's a lot of problems.
You know, totally bankrupt.
tim pool
It's clear he looks at no idea what he was doing.
Because in A New Hope, Vader meets Leia, and he doesn't know that's his daughter.
Search your feelings.
You know it, to be sure.
No, you don't.
You don't know what you're talking about.
unidentified
Well, he didn't even use the Force until halfway through the second movie.
tim pool
No, no, he used the Force.
He chokes the guy in the Death Star.
unidentified
I was talking about Luke.
tim pool
Oh, right.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Well, technically, to blow up the Death Star, he used the Force.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, come on.
tate brown
Does Silas ever play Fallout?
unidentified
Uh, yeah?
He hasn't.
tate brown
Kellen.
unidentified
Well, that's another name, baby.
tate brown
Kellen says, Tim, you gotta watch F1 movie this year, says Brett.
unidentified
F1?
tate brown
It's the new, what's his face?
Rad Pitt.
unidentified
Wow.
tim pool
Pasty Elixir.
tate brown
Stop Killing Games has just over a million signatures.
unidentified
Wow, really?
tate brown
Mako.
tim pool
I agree with Stop Killing Games.
unidentified
It seems like everyone's gone.
tate brown
I don't know anything about this.
unidentified
So it's like, as far as I understand it, the games are against the games that are like online first, and then they kill the game afterward.
tim pool
They make games where you gotta connect to their servers to play.
unidentified
Right.
tim pool
And then after a few years, they shut the servers down and the game no longer works.
That's true of Tony Hawk's 5, I think.
unidentified
Yeah, so it's like...
Yep.
tate brown
Yeah.
unidentified
So now everyone's kind of shitting a brick.
tate brown
That's fair.
tim pool
Oh, come on, Link, you dumb bastard.
tate brown
My super chats never get read.
Sorry, guys.
What was it?
I missed it then.
Sorry.
Spec tech, what did you say?
Just, I'll keep an eye on the chat.
unidentified
Not Mormons.
tate brown
If it's Mormon-related, sorry, I'm not going to read it.
I'm just going to get a bunch of tweets about it.
I said something on IRL like two weeks ago that I thought was inconsequential.
I got like eight tweets.
unidentified
Eight?
tate brown
People were fired up.
Kellen, F1 was sick.
Kellen, you can just text us.
unidentified
You'll just come in.
tate brown
You can just come to work.
tim pool
You can just come in.
unidentified
Yeah.
Just drive here.
tim pool
Oh, I think it's time to order Insane Mutt's Taco Bell.
tate brown
Is that what it is?
tim pool
We got a couple more minutes of video games before we head out for the day.
Liv Moss.
Liv Moss.
Maybe I'll just go to Taco Bell.
That's actually a lot easier.
Why is Hyrule Castle all red again?
This just happened.
Link.
Oh, you literally just did this.
tate brown
Hey, Tim, can you talk about Chicago again?
tim pool
Chicago.
Oh, dude, I finished Iron Heart.
It is so much worse.
It is so awful.
Am I going to get hurt walking on this?
Oh, you just die instantly.
Don't do it.
Don't stand on the red stuff.
unidentified
It'll sap your strength.
tate brown
Mormons are the most underrated patriots.
No, I do agree.
Mormons are very patriotic.
They're very beautiful people.
tim pool
why I watched Ironheart the last three episodes.
It is...
unidentified
Is that the Blackjack Iron Man?
tim pool
Yeah, so she sells her souls to the devil.
So here's the problem with it.
Makes no sense.
To analyze what gives him his power.
Because it's magic.
And then she can't figure it out.
And then she talks to some voodoo lady that her mom knows.
And she's like, it's evil.
You must destroy it.
And then she tries every way possible to destroy it, but she can't destroy it.
And I'm like, you dumb bitch.
You just used a fuck.
You used a laser to cut it in half.
Use a laser again.
But she doesn't.
Wow, she's stupid.
She literally has a laser cutter attached to her arm and covered in a biomesh, so sensors can't pick it up.
And she's going like this, and she's cutting the hood off.
And she slices the chunk off.
Because now I have it.
Then she tries dissolving it in asset and setting on fire.
I'm like, perhaps you could use the laser again and slice it into bits.
Nope.
Nope.
Can I push this guy in?
Get in there.
Hold it.
tate brown
Spec tech, okay, I found what their super chat was.
Me and Stray managed the 7D 2D Timcast member server and were thanking for the shout-outs.
tim pool
We got big updates on the Culture War Live show.
tate brown
Yeah, we did.
tim pool
We can't say much right now, but it looks like we're going to have some big liberal celebrities.
tate brown
Yeah.
Guys could lock in.
It's going to be sick.
tim pool
How do I steal this guy's thing?
tate brown
Jason Dixon, I had green pants swearing man yelling at me while I was fishing.
He yelled, K Mormon.
I just ran away.
Yeah, that's probably good to disengage.
Disengage.
tim pool
Alright, so if I put this wood here, right?
And then I what do I got here?
I got flint.
I put this flint right here.
tate brown
Pinochet's helicopter tour says the empire has never been the same after the Jedi stormed Coruscant on January 6th.
Yeah, that's true.
Very true.
tim pool
Hey, there we go.
unidentified
Now it should fly, right?
tate brown
TC team says Mormonism is the best version of Christianity because Jesus is an American.
They're totally missing out on that talking point.
I think that's Sean.
Yeah, it's true of Jesus.
tim pool
I got tricked.
tate brown
I could get behind that.
unidentified
I could get behind that, just not necessarily the curse of Cain.
Yeah.
That one seems a little dated.
Product of the time.
tate brown
You know, I grew up Southern Baptist, so Jesus' blonde-haired, blue eyes.
Hey, I've only ever seen photos, and they all have blonde hair, blue eyes.
tim pool
Hey, wait, wait, wait, hold on.
Who's putting these bricks all over the place?
unidentified
Uh-oh.
It's George Soros again.
George Soros.
tim pool
George Soros in High Road.
tate brown
You, you're in.
You're in.
tim pool
What's up with these bricks?
tate brown
Minneapolis.
unidentified
Paul Constant is George Soros.
tate brown
Jason Dixon, Gay Mormon Equal Game Warden.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really annoying.
They always ask for my paperwork.
I just want a fish, man.
tim pool
Do I really need a fourth wheel?
I don't think so.
tate brown
When the game warden wants to see my cool, oversized fish.
tim pool
What am I supposed to do with this thing?
tate brown
American M says, wait, Tim, do you actually think Star Trek is better than Star Wars?
unidentified
Yes.
tate brown
Callan says this Tate dude is built like Sasquatch.
It's true.
He worked hard for this physique.
Oh yeah, Callan, you're built like Link, so.
tim pool
Yeah, I got an idea.
What if I built a weight mechanism?
tate brown
Ah, yeah.
Or do you give like a little Newton's cradle?
tim pool
A little Newton's cradle?
tate brown
Yeah, see if we can get them swinging.
You're building a gallow right now.
Hyrule is coming under our heel one way or the other.
tim pool
Alright.
unidentified
Happy birthday, Supra Ward JBC.
Quite a complicated name, but happy birthday.
tim built a mobile crucifix I don't know what the point of whatever this stuff is for.
tim pool
So let's just go ham.
Sticking it all together.
No, that's not how you did it.
unidentified
Papers, please?
Really?
tim pool
Papers, please?
tate brown
You would love that game.
tim pool
What is it?
tate brown
You're like an Eastern Block border guard, and you have to just check people's paperwork.
It's so fun.
unidentified
I'm trying to sneak through the border who's illegal.
tim pool
Illegal.
tate brown
Literally, yeah.
tim pool
Here we go.
tate brown
Glory to Art Stotska.
unidentified
We ride.
tate brown
It's a great game.
It really is.
Bro Force?
You ever played Bro Force?
unidentified
Nope.
tim pool
Look what I built.
tate brown
It's literally like the most over-the-top American game of all time.
tim pool
Yo, check this out.
tate brown
Look at that.
unidentified
A little crow's nest.
tate brown
Yeah.
I Am Legendary says I still consider Babylon 5 the best star-based series.
Trump, even DS9, Star Trek, Star Wars.
I'd never even heard of Babylon 5.
unidentified
It's like a show in like the early 2000s or late 90s that was a...
I think it was like a cross between like Battlestar Galactica and...
tim pool
Babylon 4 was better.
tate brown
Adam says, why did you guys choose to play Zelda?
tim pool
I don't know.
I was just playing.
tate brown
Spirit-led.
unidentified
He said he wanted to play Zelda.
Yeah.
Spirit-led.
Oh, no.
tim pool
Look at that big old fat guy.
He's running at me.
Nah, she lost weight.
tate brown
Justin, I'm not reading that chat, dude.
unidentified
Gosh.
tim pool
He just gives up.
Come on.
What's that giant cube up there?
You see a giant cube?
You see his butt cheeks.
That's offensive.
Hey, a fortress.
What's in there?
Alright, I think we're going to wrap it up, ladies and gentlemen.
This has been your holiday morning live stream.
Thank you for hanging out.
This game has a housing illegal aliens quest.
Look at these little bugs.
Come here.
tate brown
Like Babylon, they're all arguing, or on Rumble, they're all arguing over, like, hard politics.
And Twitter, they're like, target for the win.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Go to the tower.
I'm going.
What's in it?
Are there goodies?
Do I get free stuff?
Oh, there's people there.
unidentified
Can I kill those people?
Look at this guy.
tim pool
Could it be?
He didn't say Link.
tate brown
He said, Happy real no King's Day.
Ah, yeah, that's true.
tim pool
And then the castle rose into the sky.
Dude, what a terrible place to live.
It's just like every three months, a giant castle's floating up in the air because evil is taking over.
tate brown
It's like living in Haiti.
unidentified
It's like LA.
tate brown
Yeah.
tim pool
Yeah, basically.
That's what I'm saying.
Zelda's like Biden.
She's the least effective ruler this place has ever had.
Under her watch, evil takes over all the time.
Alright, let's wrap it up.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for hanging out this morning live stream.
We chilling.
We're still streaming, but we're wrapping it up right now because we got places to be, we got things to do, and fireworks to blow up.
So I guess we're not on tonight.
We were planning on coming on tonight, but all the news is Hakeem Jeffries.
Half the people are traveling already.
A couple of the crew have already left, and I just said we shouldn't keep trying to do this.
I hate taking days off.
That's why I'm like, no, no, we'll do a show on the 3rd.
And then nobody's around anywhere.
Nobody's in DC.
Everybody's at home.
That's why Jeffries is doing his stupid thing.
So thanks for hanging out, everybody.
It's been fun.
And we're going to wrap it up.
We've been streaming for a while.
Hakeem's been talking for eight hours.
I mean, I respect it, you know, but it's a stop Trump.
So I don't like it.
But we'll wrap it up there.
Thanks for hanging out, everybody.
That's the end.
tate brown
See the end.
See you guys.
tim pool
See ya.
unidentified
See ya.
tim pool
Actually on YouTube.
tate brown
Stop streaming?
tim pool
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
tate brown
I'll leave it.
tim pool
No, no, no, no.
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