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July 3, 2025 - Tim Pool Daily Show

03:02:41

Timcast MAGA MONTH Video Game LIVE HANGOUT

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	I hate not working, but yo, there's legit no news.
	I could record some segments on random stuff from a few months ago or from a week ago and I was throwing back Thursday.
	The uh the big beautiful bill is uh moving to the floor for a vote, probably not gonna pass right now.
	Maybe, we don't know.
	Thomas Massey's still in London, they advance it to the floor, but now we'll just reject it.
	So it's so we'll just hang out, we'll take a chance.
	Uh we are no, I'm playing on Switch.
	I'm not playing Zelda on a on a on a PC.
	Someone asked Tim, what if Zelda was a girl?
	Oh yeah, a very profound question.
	This isn't live, this is AI.
	Tim, you need to try X Vision 33.
	It's legit one of the best games ever made, but the story is the stupidest thing I've ever experienced, and that's why I stopped playing it.
	The story for X Vision 33 is the worst story all know.
	Can I spoil the game for you guys?
	I'm gonna spoil the game for you guys.
	I think you should.
	It's a dream, not really.
	I got so pissed because it is a really great game.
	The mechanics are incredible, and nobody makes turn-based RPGs like that anymore.
	But I was getting frustrated because they don't tell you what's going on.
	And so, like, what's my motivation?
	And so, I'm playing Expedition 33, and I'm sitting here all like, this is fun.
	I like the mechanics.
	This is cool.
	I'm going to upgrade my guy.
	But why are we doing any of this?
	And there's some big old lady, she's painting, and I'm like, okay, I, if, like, I'll play Mario if I don't care about stories.
	I don't play turn-based RPGs where I have to talk to people to not know what's going on.
	Like, they could have, like, in Expedition 33, they could have put one sentence to where they're like, a big lady landed on a spaceship and it started killing people.
	And I'd be like, okay, all right, well, let's see where this goes.
	Instead, the game starts and they're like, she wrote a number down and everyone dies.
	And I was like, why?
	They don't tell you.
	And then you land on an island and there's some old guy there.
	And I'm like, he's old.
	How?
	And I'm like, is that not normal?
	Because they didn't explain why that wouldn't be normal.
	Literally, just people died when she wrote the number 33.
	So I got pissed, looked at the story, and then got even more pissed and stopped flying.
	It's great mechanics, though.
	Jing has a request, play old school RuneScape.
	On a private server.
	Runescape.
	No, I'm thinking of EverQuest.
	New Dr. Stone on the 10th.
	You watching?
	Oh, that's great.
	Millennial Mama.
	And Daniel G. Corsica?
	Corica?
	I'm working with the undocumented at a new subdivision.
	Happy MAGA Month.
	Send Ice to my location.
	We're on it.
	What's going on here?
	So, I'm getting pretty bored with this Zelda game, too.
	This is Tears of the Kingdom.
	And like all games that don't know how to do sequels, where your guy is not powerful anymore, they're like, oh no, all of Link's abilities are gone now for some reason.
	And his arm got blown off.
	Now he's got a fake arm.
	Look, his arm is not even real anymore.
	He's got some other guy's arm.
	And now it's...
	Like, there he goes.
	Look at him.
	Running around.
	Link doesn't even know what's going on.
	He's spinning.
	I mean, it's kind of fun.
	You can build stuff.
	But this is like the second time some guy who's a leaf made of wood is telling me that he's stuck.
	I don't rightly care, brother.
	That's your problem.
	Now I'm supposed to build a minecart for him.
	I just ignore him.
	Alright, here we go.
	Saving random people I don't care about.
	Oh, your Expedition 33 take is not going down well with the chat.
	Well, they're wrong.
	I'm right.
	Okay, I'll get hard into it.
	The main character dies halfway through, so everything you do with your main character is for nothing.
	That was brutal.
	Like, never have I played a game where you, like, imagine playing Link, and you're like, awesome, I finally unlocked all the abilities, and then a third of the game through, he just gets stabbed in the chest.
	It's like, Link's not even the character.
	And then you're playing somebody else.
	Okay.
	That's disappointing.
	And then it turns out that the whole world you're in is some little girl's imagination in France.
	Oh.
	Go figure.
	I was like, wow, okay.
	I don't want to play that.
	Like, I want to know why the painter is killing everybody.
	I want to understand what the ability is, why the world is falling apart.
	You're in France, but it's the apocalypse.
	She keeps writing a number.
	Every time she writes a number, everyone of that age or older dies.
	And you're like, what's up?
	I was like, wow, that's cool.
	What's going on?
	And then they don't tell you.
	So then I'm trying to understand what's going on.
	And they don't tell you.
	And then when you type, as soon as I typed in X Vision 33 into Google, it's like Gustav dies.
	And I was like, wait, what?
	So spoiler, as soon as I typed it into Google, or into YouTube, and then I watched, and it's a guy being like, yeah, like the main character you play dies halfway through the game, then you play somebody else.
	So you're not really leveling up that guy.
	And I was like, huh?
	Hold on, what's going on here?
	And so then I looked it up, and it's like, it's a little girl's imagining the whole thing.
	And then it's like you're in a painting she made, and she's just imagining what's going on.
	I was like, I'm not going to play this anymore.
	Good mechanics.
	Really great mechanics.
	The best mechanics we've gotten in generations, to be honest.
	Trying to go avant-garde.
	Ow.
	Oh, we'll just play Mario Karter.
	I'm going to put this guy.
	I mean, we can do funny stuff.
	Watch this.
	What happens if I kill this guy?
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I can't lift it anymore.
	Evan Fail says, y'all should try out Arc Survival Ascended.
	The parent company is leave.
	But the game itself is fine.
	Been playing ASC and ASA for 10 years.
	So what happens if I car rocket guy?
	He's got a little backpack and he's a log.
	Look at him.
	He's old, he's old, he's made wood.
	If I just throw him over.
	No one ever said I had to be a good guy.
	That's a war crime.
	That's Geneva Convention violating.
	Oh, gosh.
	Let's try again.
	Later.
	This is incriminating.
	Wait, wait, hold on.
	There he goes.
	Alright, get in a bucket.
	Ace of Spades.
	Tim, have you ever played Undertale?
	Also Happy Magamoth.
	Happy Magama.
	I've not.
	We can play Mario Kart and complain about how it's communist.
	Yeah, that'd be nice.
	What's going on here?
	See, it levels a playing field for people like me, so I'm okay with it.
	Do you want to use the device dispenser?
	I have nearly met my target.
	Sure, I guess.
	Zone caps.
	I mean, this is a pretty good game.
	Breath of the Wild was really amazing, but I'm kind of over.
	What is this?
	I'm like in a Lego factory?
	You know?
	Let me fight some moblins.
	They're called moblins in this game.
	I need to reach my friend.
	I don't care what you need to do, bro.
	You're not paying me.
	Why is this my responsibility?
	Why can't I take out my Zonai fan?
	There we go.
	Dustin Spiker, Tim, play split fiction with Ian.
	That's peak game.
	You mean Sappho and her friend?
	Let's go, bruh.
	Let's roll.
	Where's your friend at?
	Pia.
	I don't know what that means, but it's on defensive.
	Uh-oh.
	Come on, get him out.
	This thing just yelled Piyah at me.
	Is that a racial slur in Japan or something?
	Yeah, it has to be.
	Tap into your inner Korean and play StarCraft.
	It's your blood to be a Grand Master.
	Krassen said that.
	Oh, the StarCraft haven't played in years.
	I don't know.
	I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing.
	Thanks to you.
	Thanks for bringing my friend.
	Here's something for you.
	Korok seeds.
	Wait, hold on.
	Hold on a minute.
	Hold on a gosh darn minute.
	These things are Koroks.
	It's just a leaf?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	That little guy is a Korok.
	Okay.
	He just gave me his seed.
	I don't know if I should be offended by that.
	It's MAGA month, not Pride Month.
	What's going on here?
	What's going on here?
	He's like, let me just give you some of my seed, bro.
	Nah, I'm alright.
	You can keep that.
	I don't want it.
	Getting first the NATO summit, then this.
	I mean, this is getting really out of control.
	Look at this.
	It's broken.
	What am I supposed to do?
	Everyone's saying the seed is poop.
	Poop seeds?
	It's poop?
	It's poop?
	Nah, dude.
	Poop is giving you your seed.
	Wait, what?
	His seed.
	We don't need none of that.
	What is going on in Japan?
	Little wood logged people getting stuck.
	Tell me what to do.
	I'll see you next time.
	What do we got here?
	Zonite.
	Zonite?
	There's a big old box.
	Get out of here, box.
	Will it come back?
	Oh, here we go.
	Waffle Sensei.
	If you're going to rip Claire obscure a new one, maybe you should actually understand the story.
	It's not imagination.
	The painters are literal mages who make other things.
	I know, I'm just kind of ragging on it.
	That's why I called it a dream.
	I understand.
	And then the girl gets sucked into the painting or whatever.
	Dumb shit.
	Nah, when Gustav died, I was like, I ain't playing this.
	Like, you don't take away my main character.
	So many hot-button topics I had no idea about.
	Everyone's getting fired up.
	It's the best mechanics we've had ever.
	It plays upon the old turn-based with action elements, you know, from games people really like with timing and all that stuff, so that's really good.
	It's a good game.
	I just don't like the story.
	I stopped playing it.
	I just like that a gaming stream is getting people more fired up from hard politics.
	It's a beautiful thing.
	Is Trump a Nazi?
	I don't know.
	Claire Obscure is not good.
	Ow!
	Oh, good.
	Apparently.
	Link, what are you doing?
	Get on the thing.
	Hit it.
	Boom.
	Let's roll, baby.
	Hitman Zarelli.
	Tate, if you were a dragon, what dragon would you be?
	A red one or a blue one?
	Is this a trick?
	Is this a trap?
	Keeping harness.
	What did he say?
	If you were a dragon, what dragon red one?
	I think blue is good.
	Blue is lightning.
	I'll go blue.
	That sounds nice.
	White is ice, I think.
	I don't know, though.
	Just depends on which game you're playing.
	white dragons matter I was talking to He's like, it's the best game ever.
	And he was like, I don't care.
	Don't care about the story.
	I think Final Fantasy 16 was terrible as well.
	In 16, it's not even a game.
	It's button mash.
	Oh, yeah.
	Not turn-based.
	All you do is you dodge, strike, strike, dodge every battle.
	Andy is like the biggest Final Fantasy nerd.
	I never gotten to God of War because I always felt like you were just pressing one button for three hours.
	That sounds about right.
	I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing in this game.
	I'm just running around, breaking stuff, building shopping carts.
	Sending little leaf people.
	FD Jongle says, Tim, I just gotten to MCG Commander.
	Are there any Final Fantasy decks you're looking at building?
	I think I'm going to build Chaco and a bird deck, but I want to be a demon and build Hefka Court Mage.
	Ooh.
	The.
	How do I get down here?
	The skins?
	Oh, it's water.
	So like the Karik alternate from Final Fantasy, I switched him out, but I switched my I had a Thasa commander deck, and Thassa's good.
	Deep Dwelling.
	But with the Ishtola, the blue Ishtola, I switched her out for it because she triggers twice.
	Not indestructible, though, so there's some risk there, but triggers twice costs a little bit more.
	I don't know if it'll work, because Thasa Deep Dwelling only costs 4, so it's really easy to get out early game.
	And then you get the, for those who don't know, you get the re-triggers.
	But with Ishtola, you get double triggers, but costs 6, so it's risky.
	I don't know, though.
	Final Fantasy Commander.
	They're not really all that Vivi.
	I think Vivi's going to be insane.
	I want to make a Vivi deck for sure.
	Let's talk to this guy.
	What's he got going on?
	He's cooking.
	It's cold.
	You'll lose vitality and die.
	Mortified how.
	Insufficient preparation can lead to death.
	My advice can avert this.
	Please listen carefully.
	The primary safeguards used by our creators were meals that warmed them.
	Warm-sounding names.
	Nice.
	Some were thick clothes.
	Yes, perhaps you could give me that.
	You must take care not to eat something with a different effect afterwards.
	So bossy.
	Jeez.
	How do I cook stuff?
	Pablo Gonzalez, you ever play Final Fantasy XI?
	Nope.
	There you go, Pablo.
	User main, you can put sh wheels on a shield and skate around.
	Wait, in this game?
	I guess so, yeah.
	That's cool.
	Or just in general?
	Andy still plays Final Fantasy XI.
	He's on a private server.
	Like some kind of lunatic.
	I don't want to cook stuff.
	Man, Zarelli, alright, here's a good one.
	Would you be a cowboy samurai for pirate?
	Very profound question because I can't even throw that.
	I threw a little hot pepper in there.
	What happens now?
	Oh, here we go.
	What happened?
	Now a cooking stream.
	Resistance for two minutes.
	Spicy sauteed peppers.
	That sounds really good.
	What should we do?
	Should we order Buffalo Wild Wings right now?
	I think that's the play.
	This is making me hungry.
	Will Hutton, you should check out Immortals Feng.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Venus Rising.
	Really great game.
	I loved it.
	It's very similar to Breath of the Wild.
	Great game, though.
	B double dubs, they still cook their wings in beef towel.
	Remember, that was the draw for a while.
	I've done anybody does it.
	They're probably cooking any beans.
	I know Steak and Shake.
	Shout out Steak and Shake.
	They do their fries and beef tallow.
	What if I select for, What is this?
	Hold ingredients.
	Let's do mushrooms.
	Way too early for Buffalo Wildwings.
	Alright.
	Nah, you're wrong.
	Never too early.
	Firefruit.
	Let's go.
	Let's cook them up.
	Firefruit.
	Some Buffalo Wildwings haters out there, geez.
	Look at that.
	Simmered fruit.
	Sweet dish.
	With heaping tasty fruits in a pan.
	Okay, well, I needed that pepper for cold resistance, so that kind of screwed me over.
	Let's just cook this thing and see what happens.
	It's a fire fruit, though.
	Shouldn't it create like a fire.
	Here we go.
	Oh, hot weather attack.
	What does that mean?
	All right, well, whatever, dude.
	I got five minutes worth of cold resistance.
	Jason Dixon says, don't be confused.
	Tim is the talent and the draw.
	We like you, but we are here for Tim.
	Hashtag, be offended.
	Might be addressing me.
	He's smack talking you.
	Smack talking.
	Okay, Jason.
	Whoa, whoa.
	I'm over here.
	Jason Dixon's yelling.
	These bats are hitting me.
	Look at me.
	I'm getting good.
	If you love Tim, you wouldn't have distracted him in that crucial moment.
	Thanks a lot, Jason.
	We chillin'.
	Yeah, we'll, uh...
	We'll just, uh...
	Mario Kart is a communist video game, and I hate it.
	It's the great equalizer.
	It's like the cult.
	What is this thing?
	Bright bloom seed, huh?
	It does.
	Like some light bulbs.
	Those bright blooms.
	What's going on?
	Where am I supposed to be going?
	Oh, here we go.
	Helm Sway, maybe we should do a spicy wing challenge.
	Yo, look, there's a giant frog guy on a wall.
	What's he doing?
	Spicy wing challenge on a Thursday?
	Are you sure about it?
	Yeah, that sounds fun.
	Wild Man.
	Can you read that on YouTube?
	No.
	Probably not anytime soon.
	Maybe someday.
	Take what?
	Wow, Hero Shade.
	Get good at Mario Kart, Tim.
	That sounds like coat.
	So the thing about Mario Kart is that the further back you are, the better items you get.
	That's communism.
	If I'm good at...
	The further up you are, the better items you get.
	Look at this guy.
	What's he doing?
	Zora's America.
	Every game's gonna be like that.
	Yeah, so I'm playing.
	He gets it.
	I was playing the new Mario Kart.
	I'm in first place, I'm way ahead, and then I get hit by lightning.
	I get hit by a blue shell, and then I launch to the end, and I get hit by a red shell, and I fall off into the pit.
	And then I'm in seventh place.
	Yeah.
	Like, okay, I guess.
	When it rains, it pours.
	All these communists basically get special weapons for being bad at the game.
	And they just get to you.
	So you try and like...
	Oh, I got a fuse, huh?
	The eye cart.
	Nope.
	Can boonies do a King of the Roads series from Malcolm Van Dahls?
	King of the Roads series.
	Could be intriguing.
	Salty pasta.
	How's the baby doing?
	My son is five months old.
	Happy MAGA month, by the way.
	She is fat and happy.
	There you go.
	Yeah.
	Alright, let's see.
	What do we got going on here?
	I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm supposed to be going.
	I see a thing on the map.
	Maybe I go there.
	Make some spicy peppers.
	Ian Kenny, here I thought I was going to get news this morning for a special live, but all I'm getting is gaming.
	You should play PUBG.
	PUBG, huh?
	You're getting gaming.
	Let's see, where's that stuff that I made?
	There we go.
	Look at the spicy peppers.
	Hero Shade, play Mario Kart with chat, open a room with code.
	That would turn into Mad Max pretty quickly.
	I got two minutes to get to the top of this icy mountain.
	But I don't think I can climb any of this stuff.
	It's all ice.
	No, I can't climb it.
	It's going to be like, nope.
	That just wasted some spicy peppers.
	It looks like an obelisk or something.
	It's like Minecraft over there.
	Oh, yeah.
	That was the original intention of the Washington Con Jeremy Gardner.
	Have you tried Flesh and Blood TCG?
	Nope.
	What is that?
	No idea.
	Come on, Link.
	Let's go.
	Yeah, I know what's over.
	What is this thing going to do?
	Is it going to blast me?
	This Minecraft thing?
	Like Alligator Alcatraz.
	Whoa!
	Oh, you're cooking.
	Oh, it's a boss.
	Let me just take your arm away.
	What if I just, like, throw this off the edge?
	Is that how I beat him?
	Just disassemble him.
	Come here, come here.
	Be your chest.
	Wait, he's made a now.
	I gotta like his face.
	rebuild Oh.
	Oh, here we go, guys.
	Look at that.
	Oh!
	Wow!
	Like one-shotted me.
	Let's see.
	Can I eat this eyeball?
	Eat an ant.
	No, I don't got enough items to get hit by this guy.
	What are you gonna do?
	Wait, is this where I'm supposed to use the other ability now?
	Wait, what are they doing?
	Am I supposed to ascend him?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, oh, that was the wrong thing.
	There you go.
	Damn, that sword is my weapons can't hit Bosch.
	Okay, what's this guy gonna do now, huh?
	What is this?
	What is it doing?
	Oh, I get I just gotta hit him.
	Now it's more like intelligent cue for the PS.
	Oh, he didn't like that.
	Give him the biz.
	Give him the biz.
	I'm running out of weapons.
	Wait, I think he's done.
	And body back.
	What is this thing?
	GuGO Arctic.
	You want to test out the moral compass?
	Try Baldur's Gate 3.
	One of the few AAA games that are good.
	Most AAA games are all dogwater now.
	I have beaten that game 77 times.
	More than that, actually, probably 800,000 times.
	What do I do with this?
	Can I fuse this to like a weapon or something?
	Fuse to the rusty broadsword.
	Oh, look at that.
	Hitman Zarelli, what would you rather be a space cowboy or a wizard a part of the shadow government, shadow money wizard gang?
	Shadow money wizard?
	It's a very salient question.
	I don't know.
	I don't know if I have a strong feeling either way.
	I have no idea what's going on in this game.
	I'm kind of over it.
	They're all spamming fuse it to your weapon.
	You can use fusion cordo weapon.
	I did, but what do I do with it now?
	Where am I supposed to go?
	I killed something, and now I'm running around.
	Having scott no stamina.
	I'm kind of bored with this because nothing's happening.
	Like, why am I in the sky?
	And, uh...
	I see over here.
	Oh, am I supposed to be going to the Temple of Time?
	I don't even understand what's happening.
	Can I, like, fast travel or something?
	And they barely let you sprint either.
	I know.
	Gosh.
	Dude's gotta do his cardio, man.
	How do I even get out of here now?
	See if Chad has any place.
	Make your way towards the temple.
	Ah, just do this.
	Let's go!
	What is Link?
	Why does he get stuck?
	I would like to make my way to the temple, but I don't know how to get there.
	And I can't fast travel or something, can you?
	I see the temple, but I cannot get there.
	You are supposed to complete the tutorial.
	There wasn't one.
	The tutorial was just stupid green things being like, did you know you can swing a sword?
	I was like, yes, I do.
	I play Breath of the Wild.
	Well, everyone's spamming tutorial.
	Okay.
	Turbo Brothers.
	Let's play Smash Brothers.
	You can play Smash Brothers.
	I absolutely hate the Smash Brothers unlocking system.
	He was going around the office yesterday just asking people if they'd be willing to grind out 12 hours straight.
	I said who wants to unlock Cloud is the 55th character to unlock in versus mode.
	Or you can play 27 years of adventure mode.
	I'm stuck on this thing.
	True, bastards, since this is a politics channel doing gaming, should I mention my gaming channel's politics video?
	Check out my Trump victory video.
	Eric and Gordon.
	I think it's funny when Link dies.
	These rag dolls.
	Culture War COVID debate.
	Jim is stuck in the tutorial.
	Indeed, I am.
	Well, to be fair, most other games have the three original battles or whatever.
	This is the three shrines.
	But.
	Okay, so look, okay, where do I go?
	Right?
	Where do I go?
	I'm on this big old thing.
	I can't go down.
	I can't go back.
	Oh, I gotta steal that, don't I?
	Alright, that's it.
	Perceptual Jonathan wants to see Dave Smith versus Cuomo on Culture War.
	That'd be interesting.
	I can't reach that.
	Did I make a mistake by jumping on this thing and now I'm just dead?
	Oh, there's water right there.
	There's a frog in it.
	I just jumped into the water.
	Problems.
	Minecraft, yeah.
	SR-71 Industry, shout out to my son Logan, turn six today.
	L of Z is his shout out, Logan.
	Stellar Blades.
	Where's that water at?
	Yeah, everyone's saying that pond, yeah.
	Saying what?
	everyone's saying that pond You might have a bright future as a game journalist.
	Mob one Lenina gaming.
	To climb the ice wall, cut down a few trees, and use them, then climb.
	Use the trees?
	Hmm.
	Let's go.
	Hey, look at that.
	Can I eat the frogs?
	Look at him.
	What's he doing?
	Hey, come here.
	Where are you going, bud?
	Oh, wow, you're out of there.
	Oh, no, dude.
	Don't do it.
	It's not worth it.
	You have so much to live for.
	Oh, he did.
	Let's go.
	Okay, so how do I get back to the temple then?
	Chaser90k, have you considered hiring someone like Elon did?
	We talked about it.
	We talked about it.
	That was a very serious question.
	Chinese guild farmers.
	We went to the depths of Fiverr to find the...
	Find some core bastard to grant it out for us.
	Where do I, uh...
	I'm here.
	The Temple of Time is there.
	And I need to get from here to over there.
	So...
	Oh, I know what I'm supposed to do.
	Oh, yeah.
	Walta Walmart.
	C-O-T-K starts strong, then hits you with a three-hour long brick wall tutorial.
	Yeah, with how Tim is playing, it'll be five hours.
	Extremely tedious.
	Menuana's classic.
	I'm so bored.
	Oh.
	He was correcting his username, Mop1L Ninja.
	It's Mobile Ninja and Cringe.
	Leet Speak.
	Look, I wasn't around for the Leep Days.
	I'm sorry.
	I wasn't alive.
	Wasn't that Dead Mouse's name?
	It's not Dead Mouth5, it's Dead Mouse.
	I always said it was Dealmouth 5.
	And I got the retribution of many people.
	Oh.
	Wait, this doesn't even go anywhere.
	What is this?
	Run into the dark.
	Ryan Coleman, y'all have been talking about how useless Speaker Johnson look into his betrayal of the abolish abortion in Louisiana.
	Hey, this is a gaming stream.
	Every single one of them are Democrats.
	This is a gaming stream.
	Colt TV, Tim, the other week you were talking about Noah's Ark and the Pyramids.
	You should play Indiana Jones in the Great Circle.
	If you like Raiders, you might.
	Does that game have Noah's Ark in it?
	The pyramids on it?
	I have no idea.
	Sounds like.
	What I do have an idea on is this game is really boring.
	It's a very soul-crushing game.
	That should be the test for migrants.
	If they can grind out the tutorial, then we'll let them start going through the process.
	It's just, I don't care.
	I have no motivation to do whatever it is that expects me to do.
	Richard Esvedo.
	He was asking about Expedition 33.
	He must have not seen the rant.
	Hey, look at this.
	I don't need to use any of those stupid seats.
	I can literally just do this.
	And I can see.
	This is so boring.
	This gaming stream has been Tim saying he's bored for 25 minutes.
	Yeah.
	I started this game, and it did the cliche, oh no, all of Link's powers are gone.
	And I'm like, I get it.
	There's no real way to do it if you're trying to make a sequel.
	But it's just boring.
	And now it's like, hey, would you like to do a bunch of really tedious things unrelated to the story?
	No.
	Well, you have to.
	Okay, I guess.
	Very fatiguing.
	Like NBA Jam.
	Bon screwdriver, no.
	Oh, it's over.
	This is what Trump was doing to the migrants in the Mediterranean.
	Just chucking him out there.
	Let's see how much stamina you've got.
	Get your floaties.
	Koonder.
	Happy MAGA Month, gents.
	Hope Father Husbandhood is treating you well, Tim.
	Non-political question.
	What's your favorite Star Wars movie of the good ones?
	Of course, no Disney garbage.
	Mine is episode 3.
	See, I see that comment.
	What is it?
	Someone said, it's a shame because the game gets way better once you get past the terrible intro.
	I like this.
	What are you thinking with this?
	Star Wars of the Jar Jar is the superior one.
	So boring.
	I'm over it.
	Rust of the Frozen North.
	Do you have any opinions on universes beyond an MPG?
	What about it?
	Do you have an opinion on universes beyond an MPG?
	Uh, many of them are very dumb.
	Some of them are okay, I guess.
	Life is good.
	Happy fourth, guys.
	Love you, but I'm going back to Chicken City.
	We're in competition with the chickens.
	Smash Bruvs.
	I've got a controller.
	Which one is Switch?
	Let's go play a Gatcher mode.
	World of Light.
	Don't attack the poor Kuko.
	Yeah, Martha.
	Running around.
	Well, you can already just run faster, so this game's superior.
	There you go.
	Whatever this is Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh I got a jack Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
	Oh Oh Oh That was brutal.
	Merciless.
	Marth.
	The strength of your team.
	I forgot how boring Nintendo games can be.
	Yep.
	I think I'm just gonna pay someone to beat the intro for me.
	Whoa, a rainbow?
	What month is this?
	That's true.
	We should have the Smash announcer moderate presidential debates.
	Wait, he attached a thing to me that insta-killed me?
	That would be sick.
	i did not know Oh, he's got that thing again.
	Okay, it just kills you right away.
	Tim, there is a chair.
	This is from Josh Berg.
	There's a chair furniture company I think you'd like.
	They make furniture out of recycled skateboards.
	That's pretty nice.
	Millennial Mama says you should play your favorite Civ version.
	Show me what I'm missing.
	I've only ever played Civ 6.
	That was my game.
	Civ 5.
	Okay, I am.
	I hate this adventure mode, stupid garbage.
	I should probably read what it says.
	It says they're gonna attach a thing to you or you instantly die.
	I'll just...
	Later.
	Victory!
	Oh, I forgot about...
	Chat as well.
	There's a whole rumble.
	Whole.
	Am I able to pull it up on you?
	Beetle's location is now open.
	Chopping.
	Oh, that's not it.
	Oh, this is Firefox.
	Poppy gross.
	Let's see.
	That's firebox isn't there.
	damage reward See if I can pull it up on my phone.
	Oh, here we go.
	Hitman Zarelli, have you played Red Dead Ranch when 2?
	The story was amazing.
	Yeah, it's a good game.
	It's very chill.
	LARP is a cowboy.
	It's very nice.
	I think the only way this is going to be fun if we have multiplayer.
	So let's just play Mario Kart.
	Let's do it.
	We got to get another controller so we can play Smash Bros.
	And I can just destroy everybody.
	Are those Switch ones?
	Those are Xbox.
	I think that might be one over there.
	We have a Switch controller here somewhere.
	Yeah, Xbox.
	But you don't know how to play Smash Bros.
	So it would just be embarrassing for you.
	Oh, I'd hold my own.
	I'd learn when on the fly.
	Mario Kart is coming to you.
	Did you learn how to play Smash Bros?
	Is that a controller?
	You have to sync it to the PS.
	Like, plugging in the USB is probably the easiest way to do it.
	No, the one on the right.
	open world mario kart so You got a USB cable to plug the thing in.
	Say, watch out for falling chocolate.
	What a horrible place to live.
	Oh.
	Oh, what?
	That was dumb.
	Is it working?
	Uh, it's good.
	Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak The only way this is multiplayer will-
	The only place this multiplayer game will be fun is with multiplayers.
	Let's switch to a multiplayer game.
	No, you can play Mario Kart and drive around doing dumb Mario Kart things.
	Smash.
	We're getting the second controller setups is the only proper way to play Smash Brothers.
	On the Wii, I'd always do Game and Watch.
	I remember that.
	I think we haven't unlocked Mega.
	Oh, it's gonna make me unlock Mega Man right now.
	I haven't unlocked Mega Man yet.
	We'll just kill this guy cheaply.
	Oh, Kellen's in chat.
	Kellen says play Rocket League.
	Kellen, bring your uh bring your PlayStation.
	We'll play.
	Aww, he fell inside.
	Damn it.
	This is the pinball battle stage.
	This is the pinball battle stage.
	I'll get you.
	Hey stop blocking the duty.
	We've been hearing stories about rich people eating higher forms of salad.
	There's a lot going on in the whole world.
	Come on, brother.
	I feel like you have the CPU set for Demogram.
	It was.
	Is the controller safe?
	Oh, look at it.
	It's duck hunt.
	Three, two, one, go!
	You're prepared.
	Pay attention.
	You're prepared.
	You're prepared.
	That was light work.
	With work of Duck Hunt Duo.
	A poor dog.
	Michael Vick out there.
	Start the battle.
	Alright, you win.
	Where's your controller?
	I think it's this button to be on.
	Is it the home button?
	It's on the key.
	Oh, you're good.
	Oh, that.
	Steam.
	Alright.
	Hero is the most fun, in my opinion.
	Hero!
	Alright, I gotta go to the classic.
	Demon flash.
	Andrew might have the sub-in if this gets ugly.
	This is the pinball level.
	Alright, forgot my control.
	Let's jump as well.
	Alright.
	We're coming for the aerial assault.
	oh come here Bang!
	There we go, got some...
	oh This has got to be an HR violation.
	oh Hey, I like what's happening.
	Huh?
	Huh?
	Alright, I gotta lock in.
	I gotta lock in.
	Ready?
	Always.
	Keep it easy.
	Can I just not die?
	I'm just stuck in here.
	Yeah, it's pinball.
	Oh, gosh.
	This is what they're doing to people in El Salvador.
	Trump's bouncing them around.
	Gigantic grass box.
	Here we go.
	Bang!
	Hit that chair.
	Nice.
	This is where the comeback starts.
	There's a minor setback for a major comeback.
	Come on.
	This is psychological torture.
	Oh, he's got like tools.
	how do i do that I gotta.
	Oh my fly.
	I gotta make a change.
	I gotta make a change in strategy.
	there we go Alright, let's see if I can.
	There we go.
	Oh.
	Jeez.
	The Timpool Torture Chamber.
	And they're chanting your name too.
	Not one of the crowd So it took you I was at like 500% when I died, so there's very little chance of me pulling anything off here.
	Bang!
	We like that!
	hi fine yes Trying to be that thing you blow the air.
	That was, that was, that was my only strong move.
	Oh, dang.
	Oh, dang.
	Going for the Iran strategy.
	trying to drop bombs There we go.
	Come here.
	Come here!
	Oh, I just fell on my face.
	get up Coming for you, come on.
	Oh no, use the Diddy.
	No, that's people Cosby.
	The Cosby play.
	The Cardi B play.
	Oh my gosh.
	Alright, I at least gotta get one lick on here.
	Here.
	Please.
	Please.
	I'm going for the sweep.
	I can't let that happen.
	can't let this Oh, please, please.
	No!
	Donald Trump, please save us.
	Give it!
	Oh, what Paul's popping the champagne.
	I'm dropping Oh aerial assault Oh Oh I'm gonna get Simcast Torture
	Chain Oh Oh Oh I want some more coming in.
	paratrooper What does that do?
	Andrew, are you gonna smash?
	Alright, just gonna go for a sub.
	This ain't fair.
	That's gotta be some sort of HR violation.
	What just happened?
	Alright, we're sub at Andrew and chat.
	Everyone cheer Andrew on.
	can't let him sweep the whole crew you know how to play this game?
	uh...
	yeah mostly Alrighty.
	Where is my girl?
	Where's your girl.
	Samus.
	You notice that Samus and Bayonet have the same hole on their face?
	I think it's because Japanese people don't know how to texture a woman's face.
	I honestly never noticed that.
	One, go!
	Got the Star Fox out.
	Oh, God.
	It's gonna be worse.
	Oh my god Oh Oh *IVE AND EXBR
	MISN* got my ass kicked tate Oh man, good game.
	Queen sweep.
	This is Fox.
	We're returning to base.
	Yeah.
	Oh, what do we got?
	Fire!
	Get out!
	One, two!
	Yeah!
	What do we got?
	Yeah!
	Stunt battle!
	Lucario!
	Fall!
	Well, it's not very good, but he's just got a bunch of big old bolts on him.
	Three, two, one, go!
	Three, two, one, go!
	Without a shit.
	The real question.
	I'm a checker.
	Happy checker.
	Hiding no space in mind.
	Afraid for you to drink.
	I'm a checker.
	Take off my mask.
	the building down.
	Yeah!
	Yeah!
	Uh!
	Uh!
	I'm all in a second.
	Nothing to think down.
	I'm gonna be here.
	Uh!
	I think that's why I'm here.
	I don't mind what I thought.
	I'm here.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, no.
	you Just in case you're born in time.
	I'm going to change the level.
	I'm going to go back to the level.
	I'm going to go back to the level.
	Rap shift.
	Masquerade.
	I didn't know why.
	So for you to drown.
	Sigh Sigh Sigh Wime King Haha Here I asked
	him Here I asked him cloud is king mid Pick his ass.
	Young Link.
	young link The character's like unreasonably hard to play.
	Three, two, one, go.
	check my wrist bird.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	All right, then I'm an idiot with all those people watching, too.
	Oh, geez.
	Yeah, I know.
	embarrassing oh
	oh Ice climbers online.
	Yup.
	worst most disgusting things I was bringing them hurry.
	Ooh, I don't know, man.
	Sephiroth's really slow I think I'm really bad Oh
	Damn It forrrruta fighting It's over Use stun
	Go!
	Hey you uh...
	I suppose I got you, I'm not sure if I can do it.
	There's that.
	Yep.
	There's that.
	Yep.
	There's that.
	Yep.
	Uh, yeah.
	There's the other upstairs.
	Yeah, it's already synced.
	It's just a cramped controller.
	I mean, I don't know if I can beat both of you guys at the same time.
	Here, whoops up.
	Our only hope.
	Oh.
	Splash
	What's everyone saying?
	They're saying, wow, you guys are really bad at this game.
	We need to hire a Smash Bros.
	tutor for the office.
	Oh, Warrior's the motorcycle, right?
	I remember.
	Yeah, I want that.
	Tim is still a huge casual pro.
	I never...
	Oh.
	How do I get the motorcycle?
	Oh, I farted on him.
	I'm farting a lot.
	Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's overcycle.
	so Take it!
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, there it is.
	Oh, my gosh.
	so washed So washed.
	Come here.
	here What does the farting do?
	Gosh.
	I got stomped.
	Guys, I promise I'm not that washed.
	Congratulations, Tim, you officially gotten the attention of my nine-year-old son, Paul.
	He's on break from game modeling camp.
	Ah.
	Alright, you win.
	So this is going to be our only hope is ganging up.
	You'll probably win.
	You got to mash the buttons.
	Oh.
	That's low battery.
	Oh, I got to beat Greninja.
	Oh, good luck with that.
	I got to beat Greninja.
	duty calls duty
	calls Alright, it's Showtime.
	I think the controller is probably going to die on you.
	You can switch him.
	him attempts to smash two at once Everyone's spamming Ganon door.
	Switches on the back.
	Hold on.
	cannonball I don't play this Diddy, though.
	What a terrible name.
	Oh.
	I might run up with the Wii Pit Trainer.
	Get some Pilates gone.
	Oh, I just turned the game off.
	Why would you do that?
	What did you do?
	Oh.
	Oh.
	There we go.
	Alright.
	Still haven't unlocked another.
	Wanted to leave it, Trainer.
	As happens.
	Hey, Anetta.
	No Diddy.
	RP Diddy.
	Alright, Andrew.
	We gotta deploy some strats here.
	Oh, gosh.
	Oh no!
	No!
	laughs Gunshot thud
	I'm channeling my inner Zen.
	Attack him.
	Nice try.
	Oh, I got it.
	Don't worry, Andrew.
	Hold it down.
	Hold it down.
	Lock it in.
	Two of us just get walked down here.
	oh no Dog walk.
	Oh, my God.
	This is where we lock.
	I'll lock in.
	Don't worry.
	Failing my inner Zen.
	No.
	That might be one of the most ridiculous moves in this game.
	Yeah.
	We just relax.
	Is that the tactic?
	the hula hoop Don't come back here.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	Oh, dude.
	Come on.
	Comeback starts here.
	Oh, never mind.
	Comeback is delayed.
	Comeback is.
	Comeback is.
	Okay.
	Alright.
	Andrew, we need to restrate.
	Tim is farming you guys, bro.
	Alright.
	Come on, Chad.
	I think us individually, we're doing better.
	Don't know how to grab.
	That is true.
	I don't know how to grab.
	I don't.
	Sorry.
	I've got to go with the...
	Go with my bread and butter.
	Where are you?
	The zombie?
	That's sick.
	Enderman.
	Yeah, let's do the zombie.
	Alright, chat.
	You're talking all this crap.
	Get ready.
	Tim's going to be...
	This is where he gets taken down.
	You're on a mic, bird.
	Oof.
	Alright.
	We gotta set a barricade up.
	Can't let him back on the island when that happens.
	Here we go.
	Here we go.
	I'm liking the look of this.
	I should do that.
	He's cheating.
	Andrew's using advanced tactics.
	Oh, is that an A?
	Oh, I don't know.
	I probably fat-fingered the button with my thumb.
	No!
	No, no, no!
	Alright.
	She waits for you to come down here.
	Alright, here we go.
	walking down here Who's that though?
	I don't know.
	Ski moding.
	Yeah, mine him, mine him.
	It's a butcher.
	Oh, that's how you grab.
	Oh, all right, we're in trouble, Andrew.
	We gotta lock in.
	Alright, Louis CK, don't let him in.
	Pulling him back on.
	Oh, what the fuck?
	Louis CK.
	It's a strat.
	CK strat.
	here come here
	Oh Oh Oh, gosh, Andrew, what have you done?
	Lost.
	It's okay.
	I gotta remember my training.
	Oh, gosh.
	No, no.
	No, no.
	No.
	I pulled the sign up.
	I started emoting.
	Alright.
	I got 100% head start here.
	More than enough.
	That's more than enough.
	Oh, maybe it's not.
	See, I need you there to distract him.
	Oh, no.
	If you win, you are fired.
	I live in the temple.
	I live in the temple.
	Everyone spam Ganondorf.
	Dude, people are fired up.
	Go Ganondorf.
	Okay, maybe I'll go Ganondorf.
	Hooked.
	Ganondorf's a little busted.
	Is he?
	Okay.
	Nah, he's too slow.
	I think I gotta stick with my boys.
	Go a little swag.
	You know what?
	No, I'll bite.
	I'll go Ganondorf.
	Did you guys know that she is Zelda?
	Really?
	Huh.
	Oh, it is a woman.
	It's hard to tell these dudes.
	Dude, Ganondorf is kinda nasty.
	Oh, what have I done?
	Chica's not my care.
	Gandorf is kind of nasty, guys.
	Thanks for the wreck.
	Come on, Andrew.
	Don't let off the gas.
	Lock in.
	Lock in, lock in.
	Come here.
	Come here.
	Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
	Dangerous that you're playing Rocky.
	basically.
	I did it again Oh, no,
	no, no, no Come on, Andrew.
	If we screw this up, it's over for us.
	Yeah.
	Lock in, lock in.
	Oh, I just emoted off the map.
	Guys, so hard being so stupid.
	It's not stupidity.
	You're a victim of your own excellence, State.
	Yeah, I'm just suffering from skill back.
	Oh, dude!
	Come on!
	Come on!
	It only took us 20 tries!
	And me playing chic.
	Chic.
	Dude, Ganondorf.
	Oh!
	Ganondorf shout out.
	Is it who's playing then?
	Oh, it's me.
	Oh, you better not lose.
	You're playing against Chrome as well.
	You're getting your ass kicked.
	Oh, no.
	I'm So bad.
	No, not in front of these lovely Simcast users.
	Oh no.
	So we didn't unlock prom because you suck, yes.
	Gosh.
	Andrew!
	I should go back to losing.
	L Andrews Can that change this a bit?
	Oh, yeah, I can.
	throw that Isabel?
	They're just spamming fire them.
	We're playing for our jobs right now.
	Being good at Smash Bros.
	is actually the prerequisite work here.
	I'm falling short of that.
	Please.
	Always teleporting.
	What is going on?
	Oh my god.
	Alright, Andrew, we gotta come up with a strat here.
	I'm playing a little cute dog, dude.
	I don't know what my strat is.
	Keep picking furry animals.
	That's a self-report.
	Keep jumping off the side of the map.
	There we go.
	Little one, two.
	Get him a little rope-idope.
	What is he doing?
	I have no idea what's happening right now.
	Get him, get him, get him.
	just jump him Please.
	He's no.
	There we go.
	Catch him with your little net.
	Good idea.
	I'm trying, dude.
	Come here.
	Come here.
	Bank!
	Get out of here!
	Get out of here!
	Alright, get your net out.
	I'm gonna go in.
	Let's go.
	Go, go, go, go, go.
	Go!
	Andrew, you didn't come with me!
	I was charged up the confetti cannon.
	Kind of boomblade character is that.
	Oh.
	It's animal crossing.
	Okay, I'll hold it down.
	Alright, let's go.
	Charge, charge.
	All right, that's a knock.
	strat was not working It's freaking slicing dice.
	Please, please, no, no.
	Not like this.
	I don't think I've landed a single hit.
	I think you hit me.
	We're on the same team.
	Somehow I'm still in this with like...
	No health left.
	Oh, there I go.
	They just sent you in the new mesh.
	Need to learn like some of the moves.
	You're setting up a traffic stop.
	Please, no.
	No.
	Oh, no.
	I like the Minecraft zombie better.
	Oh, I'm done.
	all right andrew good luck Those little balloons out of here.
	Without flying around.
	I think I have spent more time in the air than I have on the ground.
	Hold the shield button.
	Okay, let's try that.
	Did he fail?
	yeah that's sad isn't it What does this character even do?
	Isabel?
	Yeah.
	loses These guys are literal.
	Get so much wisdom.
	I pretty much only ever use smash attacks on these games now, but they're slow.
	Shield is a shoulder button.
	I'm so confused.
	Where in the news?
	Where is this?
	There isn't any.
	This is the news.
	It was the day before a holiday, and there was literally nothing, so, you know.
	We're making the news.
	Can you not see?
	Actually, I gotta go to batroom.
	You guys fight each other.
	Alright.
	That's good.
	How do you remove a controller?
	Oh, good idea.
	Yeah, let me set myself to a CPM and I got.
	Oh, gosh.
	God, we're.
	Alright, chat, chat.
	Spam what I should play, chat, spam.
	Deport me?
	Callan said deport Tate?
	Hey, I'm an American.
	Deport Kellen, dude.
	He's laying here.
	Kellen.
	Deport him back to Maryland.
	Black Kirby?
	Say, someone said plays black Kirby.
	Okay.
	Oh, man.
	Oh, where's the brother skin?
	What's going on?
	Alright, there's no black Kirby.
	Someone said I'm a nerd.
	Farming your employees.
	Dr. Mario?
	Okay.
	Because that.
	Grosnor said Dr. Mario.
	Where is Dr. Mario?
	I don't think we have him unlocked.
	You don't have him.
	We should have to play as Mario then.
	Well, let's see if anybody else.
	Is it clicking?
	Random.
	Someone's supposed to play his random.
	Okay.
	It's a good idea.
	Trump.
	Trump?
	I don't think Trump's in the game, is he?
	I don't know what I'm doing here.
	Alright, then we first started.
	I guess.
	Start.
	Maybe.
	I think you'll depress it.
	I'm trying here.
	Why, Millennial Mama says, why did people start calling Independence Day July 4th casual and innocent reference to date or more sinister effect to downplay freedom?
	This is insanity.
	Why have they a lot of time?
	I'm not sure what's happening.
	Callan is talking so much smack right now.
	Dude, get over here then.
	We'll settle this on the.
	Oh, wait, it's a 2v1 on you.
	Oh, we forgot it.
	Hit me.
	Oh, I'm playing as peach.
	Oh, I'm trans?
	Great.
	But apparently, a 2v1 on me.
	You're done.
	You're done.
	And I suck.
	Walk him down.
	Just kicking you around.
	this yeah I don't think they can hear you or the mic.
	they can hear the important Me.
	Oh, wait, wait, wait.
	I was looking at the CPU.
	It's a lot of adverts.
	Come here, little boy.
	Come here, little boy.
	Great work, Sora.
	I think I'm ready to beat the Trump Orient.
	Does that beat stick get you back in the game?
	Yeah.
	I'm ready to watch Chat bully.
	Dude, you have to press the A button.
	Why is Trump watching?
	Very salient question.
	He wants to make sure he finishes the job.
	These guys have people just buddies.
	Yeah.
	You're allowed to have Mexican friends that wear orange jumpers.
	Yeah, it's nothing to do with the story.
	It's actually just Trump having friends.
	Having friends illegal now?
	Oh, you're done, Andrew.
	You're done.
	I can't believe Chad GPT made it anymore.
	You're done, Andrew.
	Dude, my CPU is squashed.
	Come on, Chad GPT, lock this.
	Oh my gosh, you're a potato.
	Oh, wait, that's another person playing with us.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	I thought I heard someone for a second.
	I was so confused.
	No, no, no, no.
	Yeah, kick him around.
	Get out of here!
	Get out of here!
	Awesome.
	Don't you ever step in my ring again, Andrew.
	Order Buffalo Wild Wings.
	You got me excited with that.
	You got me excited with that.
	Just order like 700 wings.
	Might be too many wings.
	Trump Tower should be one of the stages.
	So true.
	Alright, I'm gonna beat the tutorial.
	You guys just watch.
	Oh, I'm watching.
	Keep an eye on chat if there's any advice.
	Tim has been straight at farming these guys.
	I'm not even good at the game.
	Yeah, I think I'm just competent.
	This reminds me of high school.
	My friends would just kick my butt all the time.
	Yes.
	Yes, I think so.
	Cries Tim, you have so much to live for.
	Link is developmentally disabled.
	Fact check true.
	Actually, it's true.
	That's what Rocky's about.
	This thing float.
	I've got advice.
	When?
	Okay, thanks.
	I scared you.
	Hey, I got an idea.
	Take this.
	Take this.
	I must protect myself.
	Shoot.
	The loser has to watch CNN for a week.
	Nah, that's that's too mean.
	That's cruel and unusual punishment.
	Let's go, Link.
	Oh.
	I didn't feel the only.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, this is what I can't stand about Smash Bros either is that in order to unlock the characters it takes 27 years.
	Yeah, like artificially inflates like the game like or the time it takes to play the game.
	I'm like dude, I just want to play now what do we do?
	They're saying Tim's mic is low.
	Is it?
	Can you fix it on that?
	No, it's through the VMX.
	How about now?
	He's a pro gamer strat.
	Get good.
	These game mermaids look different.
	And they do.
	What do we got here?
	I got one of those fans, right?
	What does this thing do?
	Portable pot.
	Take out device.
	I think that's illegal in this state.
	Oh no!
	My stupid thing that I just pulled out's blown away.
	Aka Chan says, yo, Tim, can we get a Seamus slash Tim skateboard?
	It is Seamus dressed as a leprechaun holding golden spoon.
	Golden spoon.
	Well, he says, instead of calling it Freedom Tunes, call it Free Tim Spoons.
	Ha ha!
	Wow.
	Very awesome.
	Oh, no.
	Why isn't it working?
	That was funny, right before that spoons thing.
	he actually had stolen my screwdrivers for a week.
	Oh, gosh.
	I knew it.
	Here we go.
	Millennial Mama's giving us some trivia.
	Name one of the six people that signed both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.
	Thomas Jefferson.
	Jefferson.
	Benjamin.
	Benjamin Hirschfield.
	Benjamin Netanyahu.
	Joe Biden was probably around Joe Biden.
	Wasn't he born closer to the assassination of Lincoln than he was to present day or something like that?
	He was born closer to the assassination of Caesar than that work.
	My stupid thing doesn't float properly.
	Okay.
	They say you could add a log to stabilize it.
	I know, but there isn't one.
	I would just...
	That's not true.
	Not working.
	I got this thing.
	Flux Core Pounder.
	Oof.
	That was my name in high school.
	It didn't work either.
	What if I just destroy them?
	Okay, now I got nothing.
	I just made things worse for me That rock.
	Well, I destroyed the boxes.
	Now I can't get across the water.
	Oh.
	Yep.
	I don't even know where I'm supposed to go is the problem.
	Is it not that policying thing on the map?
	Sure.
	How do you get there?
	I can go like this.
	So this is what dorks do all day.
	Yes.
	Underwater fan propeller.
	Hit the tree with what?
	My flux clobber.
	Dude, he really wants you to hit that tree.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Hit the tree, cut it down.
	I get it.
	Turn it into a log.
	Did I lose my stupid thing?
	Oh well.
	Climb higher to get your bearings.
	I'm hitting the tree, but nothing's happening.
	People are spamming, pull out your map.
	Huh?
	This is painful to watch.
	It is painful to play.
	I mean, literally everyone agrees this is a bad video game.
	It was in Sour Grapes Weekly.
	They said this game sucks.
	It was a bad game anyway.
	Like all these adults talking about how bad the children's game is.
	Yeah.
	I didn't want to play Zelda anyway.
	This Kokomo is terrible.
	Link is too androgynous.
	It really is.
	All right.
	A sick tat?
	That's not a tat.
	His arm got blown off.
	Oh.
	And now he's got a fake arm.
	On and around.
	On and around.
	I'm just going to reload a save from a long time ago.
	Whatever this is.
	Mining cave?
	That was probably from when you started the stream.
	Tim, don't know.
	This is Colt TV.
	Tim, don't know how you'd get around the DMCA, but it'd be fun to watch the band play Rock Smith.
	Oh my god, dude.
	Can I figure out how to, um...
	I have, uh, my interface connected to it, so I have, like, uh...
	Crooked Smile says Tim about to play Bellatro.
	But what's Bellatro?
	I don't know.
	It's like poker, roguelike.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Andy plays that.
	I genuinely am shocked by what they were thinking with this zone in the game.
	Like, Breath of the Wild starts, you're in the world.
	Yeah.
	And then you slowly expand the territory you can reach.
	This is miserably boring.
	It's really slow to move stuff.
	I have to run around the whole map to get back to the temple.
	I don't want to.
	That's why I turned it off in the first one.
	So boring.
	Oh my god.
	Yeah, when this game came out, I basically had the same problem.
	Just got bored of it.
	Tim, can you just draw Pokemon cards for the next few hours?
	I got a pack of the collector of Final Fantasy boosters.
	We can just open cards.
	Yeah.
	I should have to guess what they are.
	I don't know anything.
	Mr. Bombastic Biggie Cheese says play armor reforger with mods.
	That's a good way to get PTSD and play the video game.
	You might as well just enlist at that rate.
	Yeah.
	Might as well just go over there.
	Just join the French Foreign Legion or something.
	I'd like to play right off of my brother and other friends.
	They're saying you can fast travel off your map?
	Not sure.
	How?
	Everyone spam Howl.
	Tell us Howl.
	Chat's off.
	sad music
	Nothing to say.
	Probably have to unlock the points.
	I mean, I beat all those.
	I beat the Shrines already.
	Click the blue things.
	I tried that, nothing Happens.
	Activate shrines.
	Shrines have been activated.
	Play any game with proximity chat and beat people into using gamer words.
	That's so fun.
	We'd have to take that to Rumble.
	Gamer words.
	This game called War of Rights.
	People get really into the Confederacy.
	Their favorite's got to be Rising Storm Vietnam.
	Oh gosh.
	Oh, yeah.
	Now they're arguing in chat.
	No fast travel until you leave the first area.
	Okay.
	It's just not unlocked yet.
	I didn't realize I was playing Spider-Man.
	Even Roblox has fast travel feature, bruh.
	Tim should play Tony Hawk Pro Skater instead.
	I mean, we have that upstairs.
	Look out.
	Tim is actually becoming a Minecraft YouTuber.
	Run for the hills.
	Hey, look, I climbed up.
	There's a bird.
	You have to worry if Tim becomes a VTuber.
	Yeah.
	we have the plugin Nah, I wouldn't.
	I just use AI.
	Yeah.
	Why is it making me run through all of this?
	It's so boring.
	It's like when you first play Fallout 3, and it's like, you literally have to run for 20 minutes to get to 10 Penny Tower.
	Like, I don't want to.
	Yo, yo, bro.
	Guy, I ain't doing nothing to you.
	Leave me alone.
	Have you played Stalker 2 yet?
	Played what?
	Stalker 2.
	I have no idea.
	my god.
	Like, uh...
	White fallout.
	Silas 5G asks, hey, Tim, do you know about the War Thunder classified documents controversy?
	Nope.
	I know what that is.
	Yeah.
	What is that?
	Apparently, like, War Thunder...
	Oh, that's cool.
	Yeah.
	Hey, look, I found a cave.
	I'm pretty sure the army got involved, too.
	They definitely will.
	Here's the army or air force one.
	That's hilarious.
	What is this thing?
	Oh, he does not look like my friend.
	How much can I ignore whatever that is?
	I don't know.
	Climbing the mountain.
	Who is the other guy?
	I'm not even on camera, am I?
	Wait, we have that.
	Oh, that camera's not there.
	Yeah.
	How do you turn it?
	Is there an easy way to turn it on?
	I don't know how Chris has it set up, to be honest.
	What does this thing want?
	Andrew is the voice in the ether.
	My name's Tate.
	Unless you're asking about Tim, who's the other guy.
	In dinner oh you can put stuff you can you I don't even know what's going on, man.
	There we go.
	Can I just jump down now?
	Oh, I'll die instantly.
	Oh, wait.
	No, I got the cold resistance, right?
	Will I die instantly?
	Let's save.
	Give your peppers still?
	Well, I got 10 seconds or something, don't I?
	yeah Look at that.
	Oh, I'm dying instantly.
	That was unfortunate.
	He just, like, dies when he touches water.
	Unless the water's warm.
	He's like, oh man, this water is too cold for me to even move.
	I'll just die.
	How do I get down from here?
	He's not built for the grind set.
	He doesn't want to do his cold plunges.
	Ashton Hall would be disappointed.
	sad music you
	Eat your spicy peppers.
	There we go.
	You got it.
	R.I.P. Bo.
	Oh!
	Crunch!
	I want to see his legs rupture from the impact and like his phones stick out.
	Take the giblets from Killing Floor 2, so it's gory as all hell.
	Use a Pokeball.
	Okay guys, can we not clog chat with...
	What is even this game?
	Does he have ascend or no?
	Yeah, a lot of people are talking about ascend.
	Ascend?
	Yeah, I do.
	I think that's what they're saying to use.
	Nah, I don't want to.
	Use what?
	Where?
	Chat, you need to clarify.
	I'm trying to go down.
	What do it look like?
	Some kind of up guy?
	Well, it might, like, prevent the fall damage.
	Like, if you do it in midair, it might shoot you back.
	I need a ledge above you that he goes through.
	Bell sound
	Instead of throwing yourself at enemies over and over, try cooking.
	Okay.
	Great advice.
	This is now a cooking stream everyone.
	I'm just imagining some Japanese guy being like, we have to make the beginning of Sakame as boring as possible.
	As boring as possible.
	They're teaching discipline, dude.
	We've got to get revenge for Hiroshima.
	Make it so that they cannot advance anyway.
	Look at this.
	I can't even climb down.
	If they preoccupy with game, they cannot build more nukes.
	I think I figured it out.
	Look at that.
	Here we go.
	Spider-Man.
	Whoa.
	Another Expedition 33 question.
	You'll go back to the beginning of the stream to hear Tim's take on it.
	I don't think you'll like it very much.
	Howie Ryder 5.
	I said it was the greatest game ever made.
	It was perfection.
	It was perfect.
	Every aspect of it.
	It could not have been better.
	Even the part about the little girl's imagination being the story.
	I think that's why he hates it so much, because it was too good.
	It was too good of a game.
	Ah!
	ruins all their game.
	music
	See, what they should do is they should give you the glider right away.
	And then it's like, congratulations, you're done.
	Now you can glide straight to the exit.
	Continue for you.
	How do children figure this out?
	It's not that it's hard to figure out that it's tedious.
	Yeah.
	It's just like, dude, uh.
	Okay, I get it.
	Your game's boring.
	How do I do what I just did before where I slide down?
	Stop.
	Oh, no.
	The legend of tedious bullshit.
	Some rebrand opportunity.
	It feels like work.
	I play simulators that are less tedious than this.
	That's how Destiny fell.
	I feel like I was clocking in at night.
	fucking in.
	Come on.
	Don't die.
	Okay, he died.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh.
	This game is breaking, everyone.
	Tears of the tedious.
	Tears of the tedious.
	Yup.
	Gotta find the pile of struggle.
	Go up.
	Why would I go up?
	I'm trying to go to the Temple of Time.
	This is an Assassin's Creed.
	Okay, so I can't go that way.
	Oh my god.
	This game.
	Is he trying to fight me now?
	I don't want to fight nobody.
	I just want to leave.
	wow Oh, my God.
	Just end it.
	Just end it.
	We're watching a game break a man in real time.
	Lose interest in video games.
	Lose interest in video games.
	Thank you.
	Solo, flawless, a destiny dungeon.
	I used to play Destiny all the time.
	And the division.
	Okay, now I'm here.
	I'm going to go up.
	Is that what I'm supposed to do?
	I already did that.
	I already beat this shrine and wasted my time.
	And was very bored by the whole thing.
	American M asks, what happened to the short act in the BBG?
	I think it's technically still in there, but what they did was they made it so that it's still an NFA item, but you don't got to pay a tax on it, which changes nothing.
	Because the real problem is that it takes a really long time to register.
	I thought that fell through.
	Yeah, they removed the fee.
	They removed the tax because they said that was against the law or something.
	Oh, okay, I know where I'm at now.
	I've done this before.
	R. Shirio says, check out the Russian Orthodox Military Cathedral Conson created in 2020.
	That's a lot of consonants, dude.
	Oh, my gosh.
	It's Russian.
	It has a hammer and sickle icons all through its artwork and stained glass windows.
	Hey, look, fire.
	Fire!
	Interesting.
	It's okay, I got a minute of cold resistance to try and figure out how to get out this stupid place.
	Icy peppers.
	It's an interesting factoid.
	In Alaska, there's a lot of counties that are still predominantly Russian Orthodox from way back when the Russians converted a lot of the Inuit.
	So there's these really old Russian Orthodox cathedrals built out of like whale bones and stuff.
	Whale bones.
	And middle of Alaska.
	Yeah, it's pretty cool.
	I think Unalaska has like a 400-year-old Orthodox cathedral.
	Shot out Alaska.
	I think it makes sense.
	Like, nobody really is crazy enough to call Ask that place except us and the Russians.
	Okay.
	Hello from Athens, Greece.
	Hello.
	Don't do it!
	Oh, Klan, get out of the water, you moron.
	Oh, my God.
	Shout out, Greece.
	Don't super chat.
	Put your money towards your country's debt.
	Dive down to land and body of water.
	You cannot because the water is cold and he dies instantly.
	Okay.
	Okay, well, at least he didn't die.
	Hello from Italy?
	Don't go in the water, dude.
	Don't do it.
	Climb.
	Don't fall.
	Don't go in the water, dude.
	He's going in the water.
	All right.
	Can I just eat a bunch of mushrooms?
	Tim to become number one gaming streamer.
	Asmund Gold becomes the largest political streamer.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's the way it's going.
	Have you seen, he's just talking politics these days.
	Yeah.
	Yep.
	Asmund likes Expedition 33.
	Uh-oh.
	Well, you have to say whatever it is everyone wants you to say to be a popular streamer.
	If you deviate from what popular opinion is, you'll lose subscribers.
	So just like the game and its story no matter what, even if you don't.
	Oh, wow, it's the best game ever.
	And then people are like, why are you being mean to the game?
	Well, because the game mechanics are really incredible.
	The story's awful.
	And then it turns out the painter is not really the bad guy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	We get it.
	She's just some lady.
	There's water, but I bet it's cold water, so I can't go in that.
	I can't drop down here.
	Otherwise, Link just dies.
	I didn't know that Link had spider powers, though, until I played Breath of the Wild.
	We did it.
	Oh, God.
	By the way, Greece cleared most of its debt this year.
	Oh, okay.
	Then you can super chat.
	Oh, that's good news.
	Yeah, you can super chat.
	Good for Greece.
	I like Greece.
	Love a little bit.
	They got a lot of drug-dealing, illegal immigrants, you know.
	Yeah.
	If you want hookers in below, just go to downtown Athens and they're there.
	That's good to know.
	I'm going to go break a flight real quick.
	Athens, Georgia is still my favorite Athens.
	Sorry.
	Especially when those guys took it over.
	Remember that?
	Yeah.
	The Battle of Athens.
	Do you know about that?
	That's not the anti-better.
	After World War II, the vets came back to find that there was a corrupt bureaucracy, so they got all their guns, shut up, and said, it's our town now.
	And they just ended the local government.
	Oh, you can just do things.
	Yep.
	Was that the one where it's like they were going to repossess the lady's farm?
	And she was a widower?
	Not a widower.
	She was a widow.
	I think so.
	And then they were like, you're not taking her farm.
	And they were like, too bad.
	So they were like, we have guns.
	The farm is hers now.
	Yeah, it's basically one dude who's, as far as I remember, something happened, and then he just rounds up all the boys.
	He's like, get your guns.
	We're going.
	You fought Tierney over there.
	We're going to fight Tierney here now that we're back.
	And they did it.
	Athens, Tennessee.
	Oh, and the Sheriff's Department tried to rig the election as well.
	So they would have win.
	Like they were stuffing the ballot box.
	It'd be funny if it's like, nah, you got to go back.
	Oh, they're saying you're referring to Athens, Tennessee.
	Oh, is that Athens, Tennessee?
	That was Tennessee, dude.
	Well, you see, there you go.
	That's the point of having a live chat so that people can tell us what's up.
	Live fact checks.
	Battle of Athens is a lot more complex to him.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Just some literally one guy showed up and said, hey, it's my town now.
	It's town a big and hey, look, I found a bean.
	Is it magical?
	I love how Link is like, I got no idea what's going on.
	Oh, just I'm just going to touch it.
	Like, throughout all this, Dave refers, Dave just looks so unenthused about everything.
	He seems bored.
	Yeah.
	He's like, oh, I got to do this again.
	Oh, hey, look.
	It's his lady.
	If Link just consummates the relationship now, the game is over, but you know he won't.
	Look at this.
	He's like, I got a hand.
	He had to look at his hand before shaking hers.
	I don't know.
	It's dirty.
	Let's shake hands.
	Wow.
	So profound.
	This is the furthest Link has ever gotten with Zelda.
	I'm not kidding.
	Dude.
	Have you ever seen it?
	He's just holding her hand is the most he's ever done.
	He got a quarter to first base, that's impressive.
	Just game after game of him getting friend zone.
	A quarter to first base.
	You know, it's an infield fly role.
	Arshirio James.
	James Lindsay isn't wrong about the woke right.
	Orthodoxy will take over in America and the West will pay the price.
	He is completely wrong because he's incoherent.
	Yes.
	He's like, you know those guys that hate the Jews?
	Woke right.
	I'm like, tell me more.
	And he goes, you know that guy who doesn't care about the Jews but thinks America should be a country?
	Woke right too.
	I'm like, hold on.
	You know that guy who thinks war is really bad?
	Yeah?
	Woke right.
	And I'm like, hold on.
	All of that is woke right?
	It's everything.
	You're literally saying every conservative is woke.
	If you're to the right of John Kasich, you're woke right.
	I mean, it's just if you don't believe me, you're bad.
	Also, Orthodoxy.
	That makes no sense.
	Like, every form of conservatism is woke now.
	That's what James Lindsay is saying.
	Like, or he's just lying.
	I think he's just, like, gone insane and complaining all the time now.
	Orthodoxy is not going to take over either.
	Recall.
	Reverse an object's movement until it goes back to where it was.
	An online movement.
	Hey, that sounds fun.
	Why is this gigantic rabbit telling me what to do?
	Tomorrow, USA celebrates its independence, and Greece celebrates 2004 Euro end.
	Tim, are you a secret Jew?
	Nope.
	You want to see an underdog story.
	Greece 2004 Euro.
	His good hand.
	Beautiful thing.
	Time after time getting friends zoned.
	Yeah, literally.
	Zelda's like, I know you saved me like 17 times at this point, but I got to be honest.
	You're just not the kind of guy I'm looking for.
	Who else is there?
	There's nobody who lives in this country.
	There's literally like 12 people in the entirety of Hyrule.
	All the guys are literal goblins.
	I'm supposed to turn the clock back.
	Oh, I can go back in time now.
	What's happening?
	Oh, I get it.
	I get it.
	Never go back in time to not be a certain.
	There we go.
	Look at that.
	What does this mean?
	If I could turn back time.
	What super chat?
	Was what?
	Focus?
	That's the cat.
	Yeah.
	That was before me.
	That was before your time.
	Wound that whispers gone, but time still bends around.
	Wow.
	Focus is in Valhalla now.
	Yep.
	Alright, here's a statue.
	Let me pray.
	But who is Link praying to?
	It'd be funny if he just gets at it like a rug and lays it.
	James Lindsey TM praying and call it woke, right?
	Muslims are all woke, right?
	Because they don't like Jews.
	Guys, I'm starting to think that Hamas is woke, right?
	That's just me, though.
	Did he just die?
	Wait, what happened?
	I don't think you have a health.
	This rabbit's pissing me off.
	Oh, No, no, no, no.
	Oh, my gosh.
	I will throw the controller at the screen right now.
	Let me see your Nintendo Switch.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I can fast travel now.
	Jeez.
	I feel like the dude who made this was like, I hate gamers so much.
	I'm going to make him hate this game.
	It's basically a game.
	Yeah, you see.
	You love it, don't you?
	It's true.
	Like, oh my god.
	I gotta go all the way back.
	Isn't that where you started?
	Oh my god.
	What's the population of Hyrule?
	What is the ethical composition of Hyrule?
	There's like 10 humans.
	About 50 billion goblins.
	Yeah.
	Wait a minute.
	That's interesting.
	You want to conquer Hyrule, but you don't know what it is.
	Where am I?
	I think this is a story of colonization.
	Daniel J. Korica, the fat electrician, did a video on the World War II vets that ended the corrupt system in that town.
	Y'all should watch Happy Mag a month.
	It's a pretty good video.
	I'll check it out.
	This is news to me.
	I'm from Tennessee.
	I didn't know this.
	She got that dude on.
	He's always like in our engines.
	I don't know where I am or why I am.
	Oh, this is where the game started.
	Oh, okay.
	We have found the true faith, not Alan Rodgers.
	That's the Orthodox.
	So am I supposed to go up there or something?
	You gotta watch the J Dyer episode.
	Ultra War.
	I can't Spider-Man now.
	Okay, so Spider-Man.
	He could only Spider-Man certain walls.
	Oh, he's running around.
	What am I supposed to do here?
	I don't get it.
	I can't get up there.
	Look at that weak-ass vertical.
	Now they're saying ascend from here.
	Oh, yeah.
	Man, I forgot about that dumb ability.
	Because it's such a stupid thing to put in the game.
	I didn't even realize.
	What are you doing?
	If I could turn back down.
	Oh, I didn't realize that the fact that everything.
	All of time goes backwards.
	Oh, they're gears.
	Now I get it.
	I actually did watch the J Dyer episode featuring a Catholic theologian trying to explain why Muslims are secretly Christian.
	Secretly.
	I'll leave it.
	See Jenk Uger saying that Muslims believe Jesus will return as the Messiah and say, oh, look at this.
	I found a shrine.
	Is that a thing?
	Is that like Islam DLC?
	I thought he was supposed to come back to prophesize it, but he's not supposed to come back as the Messiah.
	That sounds like it's made up.
	I'll let you Orthodox and Catholics duke it out.
	I'm a Protestant, so I ordered like 800 tacos yesterday and they're all in the fridge.
	But who wants to eat soggy tacos from Taco Bell?
	I just have to reorder the same thing again.
	That's kind of rock bottom if you're reheating Taco Bell.
	Let us see.
	Well, if it's like a quesadilla, that's fine.
	That's acceptable.
	But the crunchy tacos become soft tacos.
	So the air fryer is the best bet.
	Hey, wait, wait.
	The ability to rewind time.
	Muslims believe Jesus will return as the Maya, as the Messiah, and say, oh, look, I found a shrine.
	Hey, look at this.
	I'm going backwards.
	I'm going back in time.
	And now what am I supposed to do?
	Ascend again?
	What's up there?
	What's going on?
	Yeah, what is that?
	Oh, I see.
	Look at this.
	Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
	I love myself a good cheese and collagen piece of the.
	Oh, interesting.
	Oh, look at this.
	Whoa.
	Length traveling through time now.
	the ability to control time.
	I hope it's a potato.
	Arrows.
	That's not what I wanted.
	Say soggy tacos from Taco Bell five times fast.
	I don't know.
	What am I supposed to do here?
	I'm afraid I'll say a slur or something.
	What is this?
	I don't understand what's going on.
	Oh, look at that.
	You can rewind them.
	I see.
	I gotta connect them.
	I get it.
	Once they connect, you synchronize them.
	Rat47 says, Tim, I will buy that Yishtola card that you opened.
	That's my favorite commander.
	Also, you should definitely do one of these streams where you guys keep a commander.
	Japanese Ishtola surge foil.
	Got one upstairs.
	And I got a surge foil Tifa.
	I remember getting it.
	Oh, is that a mosquito?
	I swear to God.
	Yeah, it is.
	So the studio here goes through cycles of infestations.
	What was the first one?
	Crickets?
	It was crickets.
	Yeah.
	Then it was ladybugs.
	No, no, it was stink bugs.
	Then crickets, then ladybugs, then wasps.
	And now it's mosquitoes.
	Dude, whatever Moses wants, just give it to him.
	Yeah, like we're getting the plague after plague.
	We should let his people go.
	Yeah.
	Okay, I did your stupid.
	Let a lot go.
	A lot sending plagues.
	So what Link's got the Infinity Stones now?
	I guess so.
	I think I should order Taco Bell again.
	I could be.
	It's not for the week of gastrointestinal function.
	Or to be something MAGA for MAGA month.
	What would be MAGA food?
	We have to order burgers from Trump Tower and have them shut down.
	It has to be McDonald's.
	It's not letting me fast travel now.
	Do I gotta like I gotta travel there?
	can't just teleport?
	We've got one of those bug zapper lights that spent a lifesaver here in Florida.
	We have these like two octopath traveler on Switch.
	Andy plays that.
	We have two little light light fly trap things and they get built up pretty quick.
	Hey, old web developer was telling me last night that he has this stuff for mosquitoes that the bug guys pick out.
	It's like a it leaves like a mold around that just decimates the mosquito population.
	And it doesn't smell.
	I think what we should do is capture all of the mosquitoes and then kill them or create a mosquito army.
	We need like a like an insect Stephen Miller to get them all out.
	I guess you would just call them an exterminator that exists.
	The ladybugs were fun.
	When the ladybugs were infesting, it was like, oh, look at that.
	They don't do anything.
	They can fly around.
	Butterfly infestation.
	I don't think anybody'd be mad.
	The wasps were pretty disconcerting.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like a security problem.
	The crickets were funny.
	Because there were so many of them.
	Someone chose to crack a joke in IRL.
	Yeah.
	You know what I think is happening is the bugs are eating the corpses of the other bugs.
	Right.
	And then once there's no corpses left, like all the crickets died.
	And then the cricket corpses became food for the wasps.
	And then the wasp corpses became food for something else.
	You know?
	Like the greatest prophet of our time said, life finds way.
	Hmm.
	Broken Whiskers remembers Tim Kess.
	He loves focus through fire and dark.
	He's really torn up about focus.
	Okay, here we go.
	Now I'm gonna pray this rock.
	You have all the heart container.
	Well, I mean, that was my only option, lady.
	I will give you a heart container for four orbs of light.
	Get more frogs in there.
	That was my idea.
	Get the more frogs in there.
	Have an army.
	So what did that do?
	That removed some of the darkness?
	Restore some of the life you lost to the gloom.
	The gloom.
	Go and bring peace to the world.
	Well, I mean, Link seems to be the one who has started the problem.
	He and Zelda went down into the basement, and there was some monster, and then they let it out.
	Cicadas are next.
	Keep cicadas next.
	Oh, God.
	Serge would have to do overtime on the audio to get that dialed in.
	Earwigs are everywhere this year in Marksburg.
	Dude, they're bad.
	Oh, yeah.
	I saw some earwigs.
	Those are bad.
	They're down by where I live.
	They crawl into your ear and then gnaw into your brain and kill you.
	Yeah.
	I think because they're called earwigs, people believe that.
	Yeah.
	I thought it was like someone just started coming up with that.
	Evil serpents.
	When I was in Trinidad, they were telling me about the penis fish, and if you pee in the water, it swims up your ureuta.
	I don't think that's real.
	The Trinidadians certainly thought so.
	I was on A Thousand Ways to Die.
	No.
	How is it like getting your shorts?
	So it's a bit of a stream.
	No, so you mean when you're peeing in the river, it swims upstream.
	No, it doesn't.
	Oh, like into like when the urethra, yeah.
	And it like expands and you can't pull it out.
	It has spikes that lock in.
	I don't.
	I think you guys are making this up.
	It's the Trinidad.
	They may have made it up.
	I'm just the messenger.
	Kellen says, Tate, ask Tim if we can have a fireworks party.
	Only if it rains.
	Wait, fireworks aren't.
	Our Shiro says, James isn't wrong.
	You aren't paying attention.
	Let me stress this again.
	When James Lindsay calls literally every form of conservatism woke right, I'm pretty sure he's wrong.
	What if he was the woke right this whole time?
	Well, I think James Lindsay is woke-right.
	Oh, yeah.
	And what I mean by that is there's the woke, and there's a left and a right side of wokeness.
	And he is the right side of wokeness, as in he is a cultist liberal who demands that everyone adhere to his orthodoxy.
	And the other thing, too, is the reason why he's doing it.
	So what happened was when he called out wokeness in academia, he got embraced by conservatives because there was a unified front.
	But he's still a liberal who wants to do liberal things like sleep around and conservatives don't like this.
	Now that wokeness is on the decline, he's basically got nothing left career-wise.
	He can't go back to academia because he's exiled from it and conservatives don't really care what he has to say anymore.
	So he's kind of in this empty zone.
	And so what he's doing now is he's accusing any, like, there's like seven different factions of right, nationalist, or conservative values.
	He's calling all of them woke right despite them disagreeing with each other and not liking each other.
	And he's doing it so that he can get back into the good graces of the establishment.
	Now, like, the New York Times is interviewing him.
	It's cringe.
	Okay, I'm going to say it again.
	If you want to say that, like, Nick Fuentes is woke-right because he says, oh, we're being oppressed by the Jews or whatever, and he's using critical theory, I say, okay, I'm listening.
	And then he goes, also Dave Smith.
	And I'm like, well, Dave Smith is an anti-interventionist who doesn't agree, and he is Jewish.
	He's still woke right.
	Okay, what?
	Yeah.
	All right, and I'm confused.
	You know, Orrin McIntyre?
	Yeah, he's an American.
	He's a civic nationalist.
	Well, he's also woke right.
	Hold on.
	What?
	These guys are completely at odds with each other.
	Yeah.
	You know Carl Benjamin, the British guy?
	Yeah?
	Woke right.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Carl Benjamin is a post-liberal.
	Woke-right.
	Okay, what does woke-right mean?
	Oh.
	It means I don't like him.
	Okay, whatever.
	Yeah, his whole camp, every time I see him on my timeline, it's just them punching right.
	So I don't know what their utility is.
	I dismute it because it's just so annoying.
	I've muted, yeah.
	Woke right's muted on my timeline.
	I can't take it anymore.
	When you're arguing with Carl Benjamin of what left and right are, you've already lost the plot.
	Kandiru fish, that's what they're saying.
	That's the penis fish.
	Is it the point of an abstract concept to argue about it?
	Diddy was a woke left liberal.
	What are we doing here?
	What is it?
	Kandiru?
	The species is known for its alleged tendency to invade parasitize the human erythro.
	So, like.
	But they're saying there's alleged.
	Because I don't like them.
	You don't understand them, so you purposely misrepresent them.
	That's exactly what James Lindsay is doing.
	Dave Smith and Nick Fuentes are at complete odds with each other, and the only thing they have in common is they're critical in some way of U.S. funding Israel.
	And the problem with that is Dave Smith's criticism of funding of Israel is largely the funding of any foreign government.
	So it's like saying, me personally, I don't think the U.S. should be funding Ukraine or Israel or whatever, South Korea.
	But because one component of it is Israel, I'm woke right.
	Yeah.
	Wait, wait, what?
	And so a bunch of these guys were even tweeting at me that I was woke right, and I'm like, please, dude.
	And they're like, well, maybe you're not woke right, but you're very similar to them.
	Uh-huh, dude, shut up.
	It's pathetic.
	It's the weirdest talking point.
	If you were going to make the argument that the people who think that Jews are the oppressive group, so they make these pyramid charts where it shows like the oppression hierarchy and like white people are on top.
	And then the anti-Semitic people put Jews above it, like a Star of David above the top of the pyramid.
	And they're like, this is the real truth.
	And I'm like, okay, that's stupid.
	And that is, I've called it for a long time, it's the same ideology as the left in that they're blaming a race of people for all of their problems.
	The issue with James Lindsay is that he literally said national conservatism is the final boss.
	And for all the people that are ignoring that, that James Lindsay literally tweeted he hates national conservatives and that's the final boss of the woke right.
	I'm like, guys, he's telling you he just hates conservatives.
	So he's smearing them.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so now I'm going to jump off the edge here into the water.
	Is that what I'm supposed to do?
	Let's just save again.
	Nope.
	The right as the final boss of the woke right.
	Pretty sure you're going to die if you do this.
	But sure, why not?
	Head first.
	About a mile down.
	You can do it, Link.
	Ha ha ha.
	I was aiming for the lily pin.
	Come on, Spider-Man.
	Okay, Hyrule Kingdom.
	So, let me get this straight.
	Link saved the day, defeated Ganon, conquered all the bad guys, but then he goes to a sky temple that was there the whole time.
	There's a rock fallen.
	And now he's back to Hyrule, but Hyrule's like all bad again.
	This is what the dinosaurs look like.
	What was that going?
	Last thing I saw.
	What was that?
	Very gentle meteorite.
	Slow News Day, you have no idea.
	Yep, the lead on the Daily Mail was what, like, TMZ level dropped.
	Yeah, it was like some guy you never heard of broke up with his girlfriend, and I was like, I have no idea what that is.
	And then post-Millennial just had a bunch of stories from like two days ago.
	This happens every time there's a holiday.
	Today is a travel day for the holiday, and we always try to work on them, thinking like, no, no, we'll do it.
	The problem is, any, like, all of the movers and shakers and the people who do things that will result in kind of a news story aren't doing anything.
	They're traveling.
	And so then you, oh, look at that, a fox.
	So then, you know, I pull up the news websites.
	We're going through everything, and I'm like, okay, we could do a bunch of segments on, like, psychology and cultural stuff.
	You know, and sometimes we do.
	bo goblin arm Give me your arm, bro.
	Orthodoxy went from a few hundred thousand to a few million within five years.
	Keep telling yourself it's online.
	You have the post-not.
	Orthodoxy.
	Wait, wait, hold on.
	Hold on.
	Are they saying that Woke Red is now Orthodoxy?
	No, no, no.
	But who cares about Orthodoxy?
	Are you saying that the Orthodox are now woke right now?
	No, this was from a while ago.
	It just took him a while to cook that up.
	Wait, wait, wait, was that?
	Scroll up?
	Scroll up.
	What is it?
	Tim, are you a conspiracy UFO grifter nut job now?
	Well, actually, I made like five videos about UFOs.
	Because we had a member of Congress who's investigating it.
	Stop being so incurious.
	There was two mass shootings last night.
	One at a mall and another in Chicago at an album release.
	Yeah, that's called news.
	No, no.
	We talked about this this morning.
	Mass shootings in Chicago aren't news.
	it's just a Wednesday it's like if I'm not clicking on that now.
	What happens every day?
	Breaking news, Mosquito in Studio.
	Breaking news, the sky is blue.
	No, the breaking news was a frog was in the studio.
	Remember that?
	That was like one of the most legendary moments ever.
	They used to always happen in my building with logs.
	My apartment in New York, when I would leave, it would come back and it'd be all foggy.
	Okay, I got a log here.
	What do I do with it?
	Like, I didn't unlock the map yet.
	That's how it feels around here when it gets really foggy.
	Yeah.
	Let's make a few segments to unlock this part of the studio.
	Yeah.
	Let's go, Link.
	Walk on a log.
	I like how it plays music.
	Like, you discovered you can stand on stuff.
	Uh-oh, look at this.
	It's slanty.
	What am I supposed to do about this here?
	Slant.
	Looks like I'm going to have to stick two things together at a cross.
	Come back.
	Get over here.
	Alright, come on.
	Hey, Tim, do you have your magic decks list posted online?
	Nope.
	You're just going to have to zoom in behind him and see if you can see him.
	I'm just making it worse.
	I don't know what I'm doing with this thing.
	Alright, let's see.
	I don't think that's gonna work Oh, come on.
	Can he not climb?
	He's just literally going to die right here.
	Is that what's going to happen?
	Get on a log, nude.
	You recently had a Catholic, Orthodox, and Methodist some culture or winner.
	You're going to have a Mormon on.
	Jacob Hansen of Thoughtful Faith would be great.
	That is a good idea.
	That'd be interesting.
	a mormon versus jay dyer versus someone protestant would be interesting Alright, you can dunk on Mormons, but they get their own planets.
	I mean, that sounds pretty compelling.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, they believe when you die, you get your own planet.
	But they can't have sugar or caffeine.
	I don't know if I could do that.
	Wait, they can't have sugar?
	Yeah, they believe anything that's a stimulant alters the mind.
	Sugar's not a stimulant.
	It's sugar they can have.
	It's caffeine.
	They can't have caffeine.
	I thought they can't have...
	I think that's like the FLDS.
	Oh, right, yeah.
	Yeah.
	But as far as I know, like the majority of Mormons, like there's a huge soda addiction problem in it.
	They call it Dirty Dr. Pepper.
	They put like half and half and dye Dr. Pepper.
	Like I was watching a video, they have these soda shops over there that's just like, you just put all these syrups in your like fucking coke.
	Turn the 70 sugar into sugar.
	Yeah.
	James Lindsay's in chat.
	So sugar's fine, okay.
	Sorry.
	I correct myself.
	The caffeine's legit.
	I spoke to a Mormon who says, if you're truly following Mormonism, you can have caffeine.
	Although, apparently they're starting to come around having medical marijuana.
	Really?
	Yeah, which I thought was wild because they can't drink coffee.
	You can tell like in the Mormon community things are secularizing a bit because they were always famous for their birth rates and now their birth rates are returning down to earth.
	They have a soda place called Swig.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I gotta hit that.
	I think that's the thing I was thinking of.
	Gotta hit that up.
	these logs are woke right Stop doing that, Link.
	You dumbass.
	Link is woke right.
	He's cross-dressing.
	Tobacco is good, too.
	Tobacco is woke right.
	There's very woke.
	Latter-day Saints.
	Ganondorf is woke elect.
	What is the deal with that?
	Like, Mormons come to my house and I ask if they're Mormons and they like get bent out of shape and they like act like they've never heard that before and they're like we're actually Latter-day Saints.
	Never heard that before.
	I'm like, you can't rebrand like the last.
	That's like when people go trans and they change your name and they get mad when you don't call them Caitlin.
	It's like, well you just switched it yesterday.
	Give me some time to get used to Latter-day Saint.
	It's like I was trying to went trans like 20 years by one name.
	It's like get that out of shape and like don't call them by their other name.
	You want me to break 20 years?
	Okay.
	Tim, get into electric unicycles.
	They'll blow your mind.
	I used to ride them in China a ton.
	Finally got to use one in the US.
	Electric unicycle?
	Mormon is not our name.
	Dude, you just switched it, bro.
	Like, you can't get...
	Dead naming him.
	Yeah, give us like 10 years and then you can get on us about it.
	You think I'm going to make it?
	Probably not.
	Yeah, see, Joseph Smith, this is Archerius.
	Joseph Smith just said, let them call us what they want.
	Yeah, see?
	Yeah, see, that's okay.
	That's okay.
	That was always allowed.
	Big Joe said it's Joe.
	And he died.
	I like how he's literally right there, but then he goes, oh, and then all of a sudden he's all the way back at the other side.
	Like, what does that even mean?
	Just eating mushrooms and spicy peppers.
	Let's try this again.
	Mormons worship compact discs.
	Disavow.
	What is it doing?
	I like Mormons.
	Disavow.
	What is this thing doing?
	Oh, Arshirio's crashing out in chat.
	Alright, dude.
	What is going on with this?
	It's spiraling out of control.
	What is it doing?
	Yo, this is wild.
	Alright, I'm done reading chat until you guys get off the Mormon topic.
	Enough.
	Conversation's ended.
	Is it really popping off?
	Yeah, they're like, that's not our name.
	That's our word.
	That's not my name.
	that's not my name How did he not make it?
	That's not even that far.
	Oh, it's because the water's pushing me backwards.
	Alright, well I'll just sit here like this until he does.
	Nah, it's piss.
	Piss of the fallen kingdom.
	Come on, Link.
	You can do it.
	You can do it, buddy.
	Don't make me get more logs.
	I don't want to do it.
	We don't need no more logs.
	He's not going to make it.
	Hey, hey, look at that, like a boss.
	All right, how about Scientology?
	Is Scientology still like a thing?
	Yeah.
	They're just very private.
	I know a bunch of Scientologists, they never talk about it.
	Really?
	Yep.
	And I'm like, why not?
	Kind of seems like it's gone underground a little bit.
	What's their OT level?
	No idea.
	We've had Scientologists on the show, and they're like, I don't talk religion.
	And I was like, okay.
	We don't do it all that often anyway, so...
	Yeah.
	May the light of blessed...
	This is so woke.
	Like, I played Breath of the Wild.
	None of his shrines were anywhere.
	I think he's the bad guy.
	He's the prophet, peace be upon his name.
	Rararu or something?
	Hey, look, there's goats.
	Hey, a dog.
	Yo.
	Letter incoming from their lawyers.
	Can you pet the dog?
	Why would you let me pet the dog?
	Yo, what up, what up, bruh?
	Look at that.
	He's right up in my grill.
	Take a look at my wares.
	No.
	I think that's your aspen.
	When will they arrive?
	Honestly, I don't know, nor do I care.
	Hey, here, do you want to see my wares?
	Link is just over here climbing trees.
	Zelda is dying.
	The kingdom is collapsing.
	I'm going to go fishing.
	Have Tom Cruise on IRL.
	Yeah, someone ask him for us.
	That'd be awesome.
	I mean, honestly, like, the kingdom deserves Ganon.
	I hope Ganon succeeds.
	Because how many times is Zelda gonna let the country fall to darkness?
	Made Hyrule great again.
	Dude, if you're if she's basically the Joe Biden of fantasy countries.
	Like the 27th time some catastrophe.
	So I gotta build stuff.
	Okay, I'm gonna put the wheel.
	The wheel's wrong.
	Look at that.
	That makes no sense.
	It says literally Gmod.
	I can't count this as well.
	Oh, the Gmod is horrible.
	See, what they want me to do is use those planks to make the car.
	But I am going to make a skateboard instead.
	The 2x4 board has a gun.
	Oh, let's go.
	Climb up.
	Now what do I do?
	What is SEK?
	What kind of currency is that?
	That's like the Turkish one, I think.
	Nah, that's the...
	Hey, look at that guy.
	Says, hey, Tim, ever thought about inviting Titan Gilroy to the culture where he's a big proponent of American manufacturing and educational manufacturing.
	What am I supposed to do with this car that I just built?
	Oh, no, they're playing horns.
	We don't need none of that.
	Oh, it's Crowner.
	Crowner?
	Oh, Swedish.
	Swedish crowns.
	Hey, look at this.
	These guys can't get me because I got a big old piece of wood.
	Who's the trump of Hyrule?
	I don't know.
	Oh, that guy lost sight of you, so he de-aggroed for a second.
	Let me just stop fighting real quick while I eat a bunch of spicy peppers.
	Oh no, my bone broke.
	Oh, yo, what?
	Right, Jagoff.
	I don't see that.
	Dude, I did not even do anything to these guys, and they started attacking me.
	Oh, okay, so I put those on my stick.
	There's a mushroom on my thing.
	So how do I make the skateboard go?
	People are saying either a fan or a zoni device.
	Well, yeah, I know, but that's stupid.
	Why can't I move it with me on it?
	Not strong enough, of course yet, yo.
	Oh, man.
	But I can't put the fan on it.
	Because it's a skateboard.
	What is the McDonald's of High Rule of Fuel Trump?
	Hey, I got one of these.
	Very good question.
	Alright, we just got to put it in the middle right here.
	Self-contained.
	Hop on, brother.
	Let's roll.
	Oh, yeah.
	But how do I steer it?
	Uh-oh.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	I think the reality is the skateboard idea is not very good.
	And maybe you get two other fans and you turn them off and on to blow each direction.
	Oh, that's a good idea.
	Let's crack that wheel off.
	Give me a wheel, give it a wheel.
	Break it off.
	Alright.
	I know what you want me to do, you dumb game.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
	oh look what i made Hyrule isn't ready for skateboards.
	Look at it.
	Oh, gosh.
	What a monstrosity we created.
	Why isn't it fusing properly?
	Woke right.
	We've created an axle now.
	Indeed.
	Okay.
	Steering stick, everyone tell Tim, steering stick.
	What is that a thing?
	There's a steering column device you get later.
	Well, that doesn't help the sound.
	Yeah, what do you want about?
	Attach a mini minecart to your shield to get a skateboard.
	You can rail grind with it, too.
	From Eric Washington.
	Look at that axle just rolling around.
	You can't read that chat, but that's funny.
	Now you know it's good.
	Nah, what are you doing?
	There we go.
	Skateboards are too advanced for the gaming industry, but I think they're close to cracking it.
	Will the wheels still work if I do this?
	Just release another.
	Oh no, it attached them to the wheels.
	Skate.
	Get filled with microtransaction somehow.
	Oh, God.
	Is it out?
	I thought it wasn't out yet.
	I think it comes out this year.
	Alright, there we go.
	Made the old linkmobile.
	Let's hit it.
	We ride.
	Not reading funny chats is so oakright.
	No, it's terms of service, right?
	Yo, is this thing going to be a duck?
	You know what I mean?
	Like it can go in the water too?
	Oh, yeah, a little duck though.
	Yeah!
	Let's go.
	We ride.
	Why?
	I'm running out of juice.
	Let's turn into Sea of Thieves really quick.
	I don't know why I built this and wasted all of my juice.
	What was the point?
	There we go.
	Onto land.
	We ride.
	Let's go.
	Uh-oh.
	Uh-oh.
	How do I put him back in my inventory?
	Oh, whatever.
	That was a waste.
	Oh, it just automatically recharges.
	Okay, well, give me back my boat.
	Let's go.
	Alright, I don't know where I'm going, but we're going.
	Deport the raft.
	Deport.
	Let's ride.
	That's it.
	This is the game.
	This is all I'm doing.
	This is sick.
	Hey, look, there's a bird up there.
	He's got a guy.
	What's he doing?
	This is the Mark Twain simulator.
	Oh, no, what's happening?
	Why are there just, like...
	He said the Houthis are attacking.
	uh...
	that's funny Hold on.
	Can I defy the laws of physics?
	The only thing I ever wanted to do was break physics.
	And so I...
	It's stuck.
	There we go.
	So as it is written, so shall it be done.
	Wait, which way does this thing blow?
	Blows this way.
	Hakeem Jeffries is still filibustering, apparently.
	Let's see.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Because someone just said, uh, This stream is a thousand times more important than Teemu Obama yammering.
	Teemu Obama.
	Hey, look, look, look, look.
	Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	Hold on.
	I did not do that.
	Come on.
	Come on.
	I want this to attach like this.
	So I can do this.
	Is the game...
	Nice.
	Physics be damned!
	Yo, it's working!
	What?
	It's really fighting it, but...
	Yo, the developers don't understand the law of conservation of energy.
	It's working.
	Unlimited power glitch.
	This is so dumb.
	Eat your heart out, Newton.
	Eat your heart out.
	Yeah, Timu Obama's still going.
	In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics.
	There it goes.
	It's working.
	It's working.
	Can you rotate the sail to make a good direction?
	Yeah, I think so.
	Uh-oh.
	Oh!
	The sail just flipped around for some reason.
	Why is it doing it?
	I think it's tied to the wind.
	Oh, that makes sense.
	We ride.
	Look at that.
	It works.
	Let's go.
	In Hyrule, they do not have a law of conservation of energy.
	Uh-oh.
	Spin!
	Oh, crap.
	I mean, shouldn't the water flow be spinning me?
	Yeah, six hours of team so far.
	He's really going after it.
	Wait.
	Oh, the wind has got this thing.
	That's a damn.
	There we go.
	we disable it What is going on with this thing?
	Okay, that's it.
	I'm taking you up.
	pull up the browser I'm just stuck here.
	Hey, there we go.
	Will I just die if I stay on this thing?
	Oh, the wind is going the other direction.
	way i have no idea what i'm supposed to be doing Yeah.
	With the rumblers rupture.
	I guess I can put both chats side by side.
	Is there a reason why I built this thing?
	I'm leaving.
	How do I fly?
	I watch the videos where you links flying around.
	Can I eat the mushroom that's on my stick?
	This is too much effort.
	Hairy bottle sack.
	Swampy had that to say.
	Hey, look, a treasure chest.
	Thank you for your thoughts, Swampy.
	I want that treasure chest.
	Oh, what is this?
	Yo!
	Did I find a skateboard already?
	Go!
	What is it?
	That's a spring?
	It don't work.
	Oh, people are debating the thermodynamics right now.
	The what dynamics?
	They're saying watch MythBusters episode of Mythbusters.
	Oh, they actually get that to work?
	I think so.
	I saw them.
	I remember the one where they used an inertial engine.
	So they were on a boat.
	Uh-oh.
	Skeletons are attacking me.
	They're on a boat, and they had an engine where it would fire a piston.
	And the idea was by launching the piston forward, it would stop and then pull everything with it.
	Right.
	But the way physics is supposed to work is that when it fires, it pushes both backwards.
	So the force of it hitting and stopping wouldn't make it go forward because it's equally going backwards.
	However, it worked.
	And so they were like, something about it is displacing the distribution of energy, so it actually was going boom, boom, boom, and pulling them forward.
	So, you know.
	Sturdy, thick stick.
	Yo, don't throw rocks at me, dude.
	Yes, Rumblers were reading your chats, too.
	It's the Mythbusters.
	Mythbusters is a rumble.
	Good chat.
	Bo Goblin.
	This is substantially more important than whatever Hakeem Jeffries has to say.
	It's so true.
	He's just yapping.
	We're yapping, but...
	I'm about to get struck by lightning.
	Oh, no.
	It's over.
	Why?
	Why did I die?
	Gosh.
	That was grim.
	That was very grim.
	Continue from the last save.
	I think the first save right now is Taco Bell.
	We have like 17 burritos in the fridge, though.
	Yeah, and that's all like ganachos in there or something.
	Oh, I see a shrine.
	I'm going to run towards that.
	Solve some puzzles.
	Fuse the cart to your shield and you can skate.
	Look at that guy.
	He's got a gigantic stick.
	That is not appropriate.
	Talking about this conservation of energy makes me crave hot wings.
	Okay, that was Helmsway's contribution.
	Look at this guy.
	I just always think about it.
	How do I dodge this?
	on earth Come on.
	He just one-shotted me.
	Gosh.
	Link just dies.
	Game over.
	Game over.
	That was like a world star fight.
	You can't have metal equipped in a lightning storm.
	Metal shield, huh?
	Yeah, that makes sense.
	Well, I mean, no one told me that.
	Okay.
	That's why I play golf and lightning.
	Clears the corso.
	Can I fuse a barrel to my bouncy bat?
	To my rusty shield.
	Hit my barrel.
	This guy's going to one-shot me.
	Oh!
	Slow-key barrel.
	Tim, do you guys have feral hogs in your neck of the woods?
	Too many.
	Yeah, they're kind of.
	They're everywhere.
	They're everywhere, yeah.
	My friend in Texas, he gets on a helicopter and he shoots up the hogs from like Vietnam-era helicopter.
	Yeah.
	Yo, I don't.
	How is it that I died a one-hit and that was only a four-attack weapon?
	Oh, God, he's chasing me.
	Horse part is with the amount of them that there usually are.
	You kind of need to do that.
	Yeah, he literally does it not because it's fun, but because of necessity.
	They just tear everything up.
	I would prefer the rusty Halberd.
	Uh-oh.
	Here he comes.
	He's running.
	I'm running.
	I ain't got nothing to do with whatever it is you're on about.
	Ooh, he's swinging at me.
	Uh-oh.
	Am I going to get struck by lightning again?
	Maybe the metal.
	Oh, yeah, it has metal on the outside of it.
	I wonder if it's that advanced.
	There, I'm not wearing metal no more.
	Who's this guy?
	Is he a bad guy?
	You're not wearing metal.
	Your arm is just made out of it.
	No, his arm's like a rabbit or something.
	Well, that's odd.
	Yeah, don't you know anything?
	No.
	So, I think there's not going to be a show tonight.
	We were planning on having a show, and then this morning at the last minute, we decided not to do it.
	Because.
	And that's why we're doing the three-hour just gaming stream hangout, because it's the day before the holiday.
	Half the people are already gone.
	The only news is that Hakeem Jeffries won't shut up.
	It's not really news, though.
	No, and that's the thing.
	It's the day before the 4th of July.
	He's doing it on purpose.
	Because he knows that all members of Congress want to go home and light fireworks and eat cheeseburgers.
	He's pulling a strom.
	Yep.
	So.
	Combat training.
	Throwing.
	Hey, look at this.
	Halberds.
	Uh-oh.
	Uh-oh.
	He's got a bow and arrow.
	The shrine purifies the ancient evil.
	You who have entered here, heed my instruction.
	Can I skip this?
	Steady your aim and throw the weapon at the enemy.
	Yeah, I get it, dude.
	Phil could play the star-spangled banner on guitar for the stream.
	That's an option I didn't think about.
	Yeah, I get it.
	Wow, it's still tutorial?
	Have like another hour and 50-something minutes to cover afterwards.
	Look how long this takes.
	Well done.
	Watch the enemy's movements and throw up him carefully.
	I tried watching Star Wars, the first one.
	It's so boring.
	Which first one?
	A new hope.
	You don't like it?
	It's just so slow.
	I third one of those is Empire.
	I'm going to throw the stick at you.
	I just like Jar Jar.
	I'm a simple man.
	Because I have no media literacy, so I just enjoy every movie I've ever watched.
	You have proven your mastery.
	Uh-huh.
	I think Matt Walsh is supposed to debate some Star Wars YouTubers soon.
	Death Angel says, is there any news today?
	Indeed, there is not.
	Black Clover reboot.
	Wait, what?
	The rebooting black clover?
	They finished it?
	I was unaware.
	Peanut butter hamburgers.
	Yeah, Sonic did that a few years ago, and it was actually, it worked.
	You'd be surprised.
	It works.
	Have you seen the prequels?
	I did.
	I like Rogue One.
	But A New Hope is just, it's really slow.
	And I think the thing about the first one is that it was revolutionary when they made that movie at the time.
	Oh, yeah.
	The effects and everything.
	It's like you're sitting in the theater, like, whoa.
	Spaceships, lasers, lightsabers.
	And he went back to change a bunch of stuff like multiple times over the years because he didn't have the technology to do it back then.
	Cringe.
	Han shot first.
	Yes, he did.
	Wow, my comet got red.
	Honestly, makes my day.
	Well, then you got two red.
	Anime continuation.
	Star Trek is where it's at.
	Next gen. Agreed.
	That is the greatest.
	Oh, look at that.
	They got lightning coming out of it.
	I never understood why people compared it to Star Wars.
	Because they're just different.
	Well, Star Wars is stupid, and Star Trek is good.
	That's why.
	Star Wars makes no sense.
	It's like...
	And what was it, like, four years later they made a sequel?
	It's kind of nuts.
	Did you know that you couldn't watch Star Wars?
	It didn't come out on VHS for years.
	So it was like you could only see it in theaters.
	That was the only way to see the movie.
	That's weird.
	Because now it's like you can watch the movie before it's even in theaters.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, theaters are an option.
	Also, like, there's a really good case to be made for why the Empire was the good guys and the Rebels just completely destabilized.
	without the expanded universe, yes.
	Wasn't it that Sidious was trying to Yeah.
	So I think in the extended universe, before they got rid of it, the reason he was building the Death Star and mechanizing the galaxy was that there was an external threat from another galaxy that was going to come.
	Yeah, I think that was one of them.
	Then they also did the whole...
	Like the Thrawn trilogy, I believe, is still canon.
	They basically just cherry-picked what they wanted.
	The Rebels are literally just a Taliban.
	Yeah.
	The Empire's trying to hold it together.
	Then you go to, like, the Empire's, like, mass genocide of whole planets in the Expenda Universe.
	It's like, okay, now it's blow off.
	You gotta crack that.
	No, no, no.
	They only wrote that stuff in because when people watched A New Hope, they were like, what did the Empire do that justified the acts of terror?
	Yeah.
	And then people go, well, Tim, he did blow up Alderan.
	No, no, no, no, hold on.
	That's after the terrorists attacked Scarif.
	And then they're like, well, we need to make sure the Empire's the bad guys, so let's write a whole bunch of stuff after the fact to justify why they're the bad guys.
	But if you go back to the original trilogy, the Empire didn't do anything.
	Like, I'm not saying they didn't do anything.
	I'm saying in the movies, nothing is explained as to why the Empire was bad.
	Yeah.
	And then Vader blows up Alderaan, and you're like, see, he built the planet's like, that's during a war.
	It's kind of like I ran.
	To be fair, killing billions of people is not a good thing.
	A lot of collateral damage.
	It's controversial.
	It's definitely controversial.
	I think, however, that it's all propaganda.
	And someone needs to write Star Wars from the Empire's perspective.
	I agree.
	I agree wholeheartedly.
	And it's like the Sith are not bad guys.
	The Jedi just call them bad guys.
	And the Jedi are like weird child abducting eunuchs.
	They are.
	They're a relationship.
	And it's true.
	And what I would look at is like the Sith.
	See, the reason we think the Sith are bad is because the Jedi wrote the story.
	But if you actually break down, the Sith aren't just going on mindlessly murdering children for no reason, right?
	So Anakin didn't go and just massacre a bunch of innocent younglings.
	These kids were strapped with forced dynamite.
	And he was like, these extremist Jedi.
	Dude, Mace Windu tried to assassinate the duly elected chancellor.
	What a bad guy.
	And they try spinning it like he's the good guy somehow.
	See, they couldn't get around that one.
	But the Sith, if I was going to rewrite it, they would be pragmatic.
	Like, listen, the wielding of power isn't inherently evil.
	You can be passionate about what you want to do.
	You don't got to be some eunuch monk kidnapping kids to have horsepowers.
	But the Jedi are like, we must kill the Sith.
	There's thousands of Jedi, and they hunt down and murder the Sith.
	That doesn't sound like the Jedi are the good guys.
	They just claim to be.
	Yep.
	They should be classified as a terrorist organization.
	The Empire brought stability, man.
	The credits.
	If you needed a job, you just become a clone or stormtrooper.
	Look at this.
	American M says, I agree the originals are outdated and should be remade with recasted characters.
	We have new sequels.
	No.
	No.
	Just owned by Disney.
	Plan the Man says, as Nintendo nerds, how do y'all feel about the Halo franchise pre and post 343?
	It's garbage post 343.
	They really screwed it up after Reach was the line.
	I say we remake Star Wars, not with Disney, but on our own.
	Yeah.
	And we explain why the Sith are the good.
	We made the Jedi as the bad guys.
	So the movie would start with the galaxy being controlled by a religious sect.
	Think about this.
	The Jedi aren't elected.
	Let's just talk about the prequels.
	There's a council of Jedi that make military decisions.
	They're unelected and religious.
	That's Iran.
	And they're also incestuous with Leia and Luke.
	Also like Iran.
	There's a lot of problems.
	You know, totally bankrupt.
	It's clear he looks at no idea what he was doing.
	Because in A New Hope, Vader meets Leia, and he doesn't know that's his daughter.
	Search your feelings.
	You know it, to be sure.
	No, you don't.
	You don't know what you're talking about.
	Well, he didn't even use the Force until halfway through the second movie.
	No, no, he used the Force.
	He chokes the guy in the Death Star.
	I was talking about Luke.
	Oh, right.
	Yeah.
	Well, technically, to blow up the Death Star, he used the Force.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oh, my God, come on.
	Does Silas ever play Fallout?
	Uh, yeah?
	He hasn't.
	Kellen.
	Well, that's another name, baby.
	Kellen says, Tim, you gotta watch F1 movie this year, says Brett.
	F1?
	It's the new, what's his face?
	Rad Pitt.
	Wow.
	Pasty Elixir.
	Stop Killing Games has just over a million signatures.
	Wow, really?
	Mako.
	I agree with Stop Killing Games.
	It seems like everyone's gone.
	I don't know anything about this.
	So it's like, as far as I understand it, the games are against the games that are like online first, and then they kill the game afterward.
	They make games where you gotta connect to their servers to play.
	Right.
	And then after a few years, they shut the servers down and the game no longer works.
	That's true of Tony Hawk's 5, I think.
	Yeah, so it's like...
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	So now everyone's kind of shitting a brick.
	That's fair.
	Oh, come on, Link, you dumb bastard.
	My super chats never get read.
	Sorry, guys.
	What was it?
	I missed it then.
	Sorry.
	Spec tech, what did you say?
	Just, I'll keep an eye on the chat.
	Not Mormons.
	If it's Mormon-related, sorry, I'm not going to read it.
	I'm just going to get a bunch of tweets about it.
	I said something on IRL like two weeks ago that I thought was inconsequential.
	I got like eight tweets.
	Eight?
	People were fired up.
	Kellen, F1 was sick.
	Kellen, you can just text us.
	You'll just come in.
	You can just come to work.
	You can just come in.
	Yeah.
	Just drive here.
	Oh, I think it's time to order Insane Mutt's Taco Bell.
	Is that what it is?
	We got a couple more minutes of video games before we head out for the day.
	Liv Moss.
	Liv Moss.
	Maybe I'll just go to Taco Bell.
	That's actually a lot easier.
	Why is Hyrule Castle all red again?
	This just happened.
	Link.
	Oh, you literally just did this.
	Hey, Tim, can you talk about Chicago again?
	Chicago.
	Oh, dude, I finished Iron Heart.
	It is so much worse.
	It is so awful.
	Am I going to get hurt walking on this?
	Oh, you just die instantly.
	Don't do it.
	Don't stand on the red stuff.
	It'll sap your strength.
	Mormons are the most underrated patriots.
	No, I do agree.
	Mormons are very patriotic.
	They're very beautiful people.
	why I watched Ironheart the last three episodes.
	It is...
	Is that the Blackjack Iron Man?
	Yeah, so she sells her souls to the devil.
	So here's the problem with it.
	Makes no sense.
	To analyze what gives him his power.
	Because it's magic.
	And then she can't figure it out.
	And then she talks to some voodoo lady that her mom knows.
	And she's like, it's evil.
	You must destroy it.
	And then she tries every way possible to destroy it, but she can't destroy it.
	And I'm like, you dumb bitch.
	You just used a fuck.
	You used a laser to cut it in half.
	Use a laser again.
	But she doesn't.
	Wow, she's stupid.
	She literally has a laser cutter attached to her arm and covered in a biomesh, so sensors can't pick it up.
	And she's going like this, and she's cutting the hood off.
	And she slices the chunk off.
	Because now I have it.
	Then she tries dissolving it in asset and setting on fire.
	I'm like, perhaps you could use the laser again and slice it into bits.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Can I push this guy in?
	Get in there.
	Hold it.
	Spec tech, okay, I found what their super chat was.
	Me and Stray managed the 7D 2D Timcast member server and were thanking for the shout-outs.
	We got big updates on the Culture War Live show.
	Yeah, we did.
	We can't say much right now, but it looks like we're going to have some big liberal celebrities.
	Yeah.
	Guys could lock in.
	It's going to be sick.
	How do I steal this guy's thing?
	Jason Dixon, I had green pants swearing man yelling at me while I was fishing.
	He yelled, K Mormon.
	I just ran away.
	Yeah, that's probably good to disengage.
	Disengage.
	Alright, so if I put this wood here, right?
	And then I what do I got here?
	I got flint.
	I put this flint right here.
	Pinochet's helicopter tour says the empire has never been the same after the Jedi stormed Coruscant on January 6th.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Very true.
	Hey, there we go.
	Now it should fly, right?
	TC team says Mormonism is the best version of Christianity because Jesus is an American.
	They're totally missing out on that talking point.
	I think that's Sean.
	Yeah, it's true of Jesus.
	I got tricked.
	I could get behind that.
	I could get behind that, just not necessarily the curse of Cain.
	Yeah.
	That one seems a little dated.
	Product of the time.
	You know, I grew up Southern Baptist, so Jesus' blonde-haired, blue eyes.
	Hey, I've only ever seen photos, and they all have blonde hair, blue eyes.
	Hey, wait, wait, wait, hold on.
	Who's putting these bricks all over the place?
	Uh-oh.
	It's George Soros again.
	George Soros.
	George Soros in High Road.
	You, you're in.
	You're in.
	What's up with these bricks?
	Minneapolis.
	Paul Constant is George Soros.
	Jason Dixon, Gay Mormon Equal Game Warden.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's really annoying.
	They always ask for my paperwork.
	I just want a fish, man.
	Do I really need a fourth wheel?
	I don't think so.
	When the game warden wants to see my cool, oversized fish.
	What am I supposed to do with this thing?
	American M says, wait, Tim, do you actually think Star Trek is better than Star Wars?
	Yes.
	Callan says this Tate dude is built like Sasquatch.
	It's true.
	He worked hard for this physique.
	Oh yeah, Callan, you're built like Link, so.
	Yeah, I got an idea.
	What if I built a weight mechanism?
	Ah, yeah.
	Or do you give like a little Newton's cradle?
	A little Newton's cradle?
	Yeah, see if we can get them swinging.
	You're building a gallow right now.
	Hyrule is coming under our heel one way or the other.
	Alright.
	Happy birthday, Supra Ward JBC.
	Quite a complicated name, but happy birthday.
	tim built a mobile crucifix I don't know what the point of whatever this stuff is for.
	So let's just go ham.
	Sticking it all together.
	No, that's not how you did it.
	Papers, please?
	Really?
	Papers, please?
	You would love that game.
	What is it?
	You're like an Eastern Block border guard, and you have to just check people's paperwork.
	It's so fun.
	I'm trying to sneak through the border who's illegal.
	Illegal.
	Literally, yeah.
	Here we go.
	Glory to Art Stotska.
	We ride.
	It's a great game.
	It really is.
	Bro Force?
	You ever played Bro Force?
	Nope.
	Look what I built.
	It's literally like the most over-the-top American game of all time.
	Yo, check this out.
	Look at that.
	A little crow's nest.
	Yeah.
	I Am Legendary says I still consider Babylon 5 the best star-based series.
	Trump, even DS9, Star Trek, Star Wars.
	I'd never even heard of Babylon 5.
	It's like a show in like the early 2000s or late 90s that was a...
	I think it was like a cross between like Battlestar Galactica and...
	Babylon 4 was better.
	Adam says, why did you guys choose to play Zelda?
	I don't know.
	I was just playing.
	Spirit-led.
	He said he wanted to play Zelda.
	Yeah.
	Spirit-led.
	Oh, no.
	Look at that big old fat guy.
	He's running at me.
	Nah, she lost weight.
	Justin, I'm not reading that chat, dude.
	Gosh.
	He just gives up.
	Come on.
	What's that giant cube up there?
	You see a giant cube?
	You see his butt cheeks.
	That's offensive.
	Hey, a fortress.
	What's in there?
	Alright, I think we're going to wrap it up, ladies and gentlemen.
	This has been your holiday morning live stream.
	Thank you for hanging out.
	This game has a housing illegal aliens quest.
	Look at these little bugs.
	Come here.
	Like Babylon, they're all arguing, or on Rumble, they're all arguing over, like, hard politics.
	And Twitter, they're like, target for the win.
	Yeah.
	Go to the tower.
	I'm going.
	What's in it?
	Are there goodies?
	Do I get free stuff?
	Oh, there's people there.
	Can I kill those people?
	Look at this guy.
	Could it be?
	He didn't say Link.
	He said, Happy real no King's Day.
	Ah, yeah, that's true.
	And then the castle rose into the sky.
	Dude, what a terrible place to live.
	It's just like every three months, a giant castle's floating up in the air because evil is taking over.
	It's like living in Haiti.
	It's like LA.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, basically.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Zelda's like Biden.
	She's the least effective ruler this place has ever had.
	Under her watch, evil takes over all the time.
	Alright, let's wrap it up.
	Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for hanging out this morning live stream.
	We chilling.
	We're still streaming, but we're wrapping it up right now because we got places to be, we got things to do, and fireworks to blow up.
	So I guess we're not on tonight.
	We were planning on coming on tonight, but all the news is Hakeem Jeffries.
	Half the people are traveling already.
	A couple of the crew have already left, and I just said we shouldn't keep trying to do this.
	I hate taking days off.
	That's why I'm like, no, no, we'll do a show on the 3rd.
	And then nobody's around anywhere.
	Nobody's in DC.
	Everybody's at home.
	That's why Jeffries is doing his stupid thing.
	So thanks for hanging out, everybody.
	It's been fun.
	And we're going to wrap it up.
	We've been streaming for a while.
	Hakeem's been talking for eight hours.
	I mean, I respect it, you know, but it's a stop Trump.
	So I don't like it.
	But we'll wrap it up there.
	Thanks for hanging out, everybody.
	That's the end.
	See the end.
	See you guys.
	See ya.
	See ya.
	Actually on YouTube.
	Stop streaming?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	No, no, no.
	I'll leave it.
	No, no, no, no.

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