Sunday Uncensored: Dave Landau Members Only Podcast
Tim & Co join Dave Landau for a spicy bonus segment usually only available on Timcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 30, 2023 - Timcast IRL - Tim Pool
01:02:16
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
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| Welcome to our special weekend show, Sunday Uncensored. | ||
| Every week, we produce four uncensored episodes of the TimCast IRL podcast exclusively at TimCast.com, and we're gonna bring you the most important for our weekend show. | ||
| If you wanna check out more segments just like this, become a member at TimCast.com. | ||
| Now, enjoy the show. | ||
| All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the members-only portion of the show. | ||
| We have this really funny story. | ||
| Newly declassified intelligence documents reveal how CIA officials saw two flying disks, UFOs, in the Soviet Union during the Cold War. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| The White House unsealed a set of JFK assassination documents. | ||
| The files detailed three people reports UFO sighting in the Soviet Union in 1995. | ||
| That's really crazy! | ||
| How could- you know, that's so nuts! | ||
| Hunter Biden called Joe at least 24 times during business meetings with clients when his father was VP. | ||
| First son's ex-best friend will tell Congress. | ||
| Well, I don't really care about that. | ||
| Go back to the UFO story. | ||
| Oh, good point, good point. | ||
| What were we talking about? | ||
| Something about UFOs. | ||
| I think I lost it. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Yeah, UFOs. | ||
| So we got a JFK story and a UFO story. | ||
| Has anyone seen what the White House is up to? | ||
| What else is happening? | ||
| Yeah, let's not undersell it. | ||
| I was joking. | ||
| Fuck this, Hunter Biden. | ||
| Motherfucking Joe Biden. | ||
| His White House releases JFK and UFO docs. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| That's the sign. | ||
| Right on time, news breaks that he was on the phone In his son's business dealings. | ||
| Fuck these fucking fuckers. | ||
| You think they've got- With the Chinese? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Ukrainians. | ||
| I think that- Oh, with the Ukraine? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There is proof of the Chinese as well, correct? | ||
| Just recently? | ||
| I do believe so, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| It's really a lot of data. | ||
| It's almost intentionally confusing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's not a bad strategy. | |
| You put so much out there that we just don't, we're not surprised anymore. | ||
| We don't care anymore. | ||
| You know, just flood it with all, you know. | ||
| It's not a terrible strategy. | ||
| Well, a ton of the proof came out that was all, you know, it was discussed in, like, Laptop from Hell and all that other stuff. | ||
| Like, all of that came out that, to be authentic, that had to do with the actual Chinese dealings. | ||
| But now this actually came out that he was on the phone with Hunter during the... Okay, I just want to make sure. | ||
| Yeah, Kareem Jean-Pierre said he has not been involved with any of Hunter's business dealings. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Okay, so being on the phone with him while he's making a business dealing... Is the opposite of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well spoke. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So you think they got a trove of, like, stories? | ||
| They're like, if shit hits the fan, pull one of these and we'll sell it to the American people. | ||
| Can you imagine, though, it being so bad that they're like, all right, listen, JFK and UFO in case this gets worse. | ||
| We have these just in the back. | ||
| We'll just keep them in the back pocket in case. | ||
| Just, do we have anything worse? | ||
| They're like, yeah, believe it or not, we do. | ||
| What's the next story? | ||
| Tower 7? | ||
|
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Tower 7 would be a good one. | |
| I feel like they're really ruining UFO news. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Now when UFO news comes out, we're not like, oh, interesting. | ||
| We're like, ah, what are you guys doing? | ||
| What information are you hiding? | ||
| They shot one into a lake last year and we were all like, yeah, I don't really care. | ||
| You locked us up for a year. | ||
| The balloon? | ||
| The Chinese balloons? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, when I- I've just- my mind has changed now where I just think of it as unidentified flying object. | ||
| I just think it could be fucking anything. | ||
| Could be a- a drone. | ||
| You know, the amount of drones now that we have, too. | ||
| Like, I don't buy any alien bullshit. | ||
| Like, we shot- we shot down a UFO and it was like some college classes experimental balloon or some shit. | ||
| Well, yeah, once it's a balloon and you're like, that's the Chinese espionage we're worried about is birthday party, I no longer care. | ||
| Like it doesn't seem, there's no mystique about it. | ||
| It doesn't seem fun. | ||
| Like that fascinates me right there at the alien or the spacecraft that I'm watching right there. | ||
| But yeah, everything they have, I don't buy anymore. | ||
| I think it's all lies. | ||
| It's just magnetism. | ||
| I don't know how these, well, I wonder what these drones are sometimes. | ||
| It's probably all sorts of wild, crazy technologies that Tesla was working on. | ||
| Long range electricity, maybe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Maybe just super lightweight metals, metal materials and fusion power or something. | ||
| I mean, I do think that UFOs, I mean, aliens do exist. | ||
| I just don't, I don't even know if they know. | ||
|
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Do you think we're advanced enough as a human species to be contacted by aliens? | |
| I've heard from a lot of those experts in UFO science and astronomy, they're like, once we get to a certain level of being advanced, then other societies might reach out. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| No. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| We started seeing... He's not interested in us enough yet? | ||
| Well, I mean, when was the last time you tried communicating with a bunch of groundhogs? | ||
| All the time, man. | ||
| I just want to know what they're up to. | ||
| Do you ever go out to... I was talking to your chickens. | ||
| Yeah, but see, we've domesticated those. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And so, it's possible. | ||
| Maybe humans are considered domesticated aliens. | ||
| Yeah, but you can see us. | ||
| Like, Roberto Jr. | ||
| knows us. | ||
| We were there when he was born. | ||
| Quite literally, when he hatched, we're standing there. | ||
| And so, he's super chill with us. | ||
| And like, we could walk up, he just looks at us, it's really funny. | ||
| Roberto, his dad, was born, you know, and survived a culling because they killed the boys. | ||
| Born a woman, by the way. | ||
| Well, it was a boy, but they killed the boys. | ||
| Yeah, we thought they were all hands. | ||
| And so, he got lucky, but he wasn't raised around people, so he doesn't like people. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, yeah, and you survived a holocaust. | ||
| And I'm not just saying that to be funny. | ||
| If you see a bunch of your friends die, they're not gonna trust you. | ||
| Dude, when these chickens are born, yup, the humans grab all the boys and just kill them all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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Rough. | |
| I wouldn't trust you either. | ||
| But Roberto Jr., you know, we raised him, so he's like, you know. | ||
| Yeah, they're cool. | ||
| To answer your question, Kellen, I think that we have and are being contacted by other species around the universe, but we aren't aware of how to detect the communication. | ||
|
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So then we're not advanced enough? | |
| Or I guess we're advanced enough that people are reaching out is what you're saying, but we're not able to reach out, reach back. | ||
| I don't necessarily agree. | ||
| Take the Christian approach. | ||
| If Earth was created by God, and we are all in God's image, then there's no aliens. | ||
| And if they are, you know, maybe they, it's possible they exist, but there's a good chance if, you know, assuming that we are in a construct of some sort, there aren't. | ||
| And you can take the secular view of the same thing. | ||
| Simulation theory. | ||
| If this reality was constructed by a higher power, whether it be your Christian view of God, or your Abrahamic view of God, or a simulation like Elon Musk, or Bezos, or whoever else is talking about, why would there be aliens? | ||
| Like, when we play Grand Theft Auto, there are no aliens. | ||
| It's just the people in Liberty City or whatever. | ||
| Or if you take the combination of the two and you have, like, the spaceships of Ezekiel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's like, have you ever read it? | ||
| No, it's a, it's a book that's not around anymore, but it's very fascinating. | ||
| And it's a, it's about how you read an Ezekiel makes perfect sense for it to be a spacecraft. | ||
| And it goes into like how he goes to have a lot of this stuff built. | ||
| It's, it's pretty crazy. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Like the chariots of fire and all that stuff. | ||
| It's a really interesting read. | ||
| And it kind of explains how this book is specific to what could be a spacecraft and how things were built. | ||
| Did they actually have chariots of fire in the Bible? | ||
| Is that what you're referencing? | ||
| Not the, I'm thinking of the wrong thing, but the book. | ||
| Is it Enoch? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I know that God had angels with flaming swords, so they're mentioning technology of like fire swords. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And if they have flaming chariots, maybe there it's like combustion? | ||
| Yeah, something. | ||
| I can't remember exactly what it is, but yes. | ||
| But come on, dude. | ||
| You're naming it, yeah. | ||
| Any advanced species is likely not using combustion. | ||
| Like, combustion is old-ass technology. | ||
| But if you don't know what it is, and you're looking at something that's lit up, what are you gonna call it? | ||
| No, I'm saying, why would an advanced alien species that it comes and creates life or whatever be using combustion? | ||
| Yeah, on Earth, I would've thought they just were the people 12,000 years ago, and that's what they had. | ||
| They found oil, they knew how to light it on fire, whatever the fuck. | ||
| Yeah, it's coal. | ||
| Oh, like the Atlanteans. | ||
| I'm not saying it's right, it was just to throw it out there for the conversation. | ||
| My guess is it's probably terribly incorrect. | ||
| The Atlanteans had combustion and other people saw it and were like, whoa. | ||
| The raccoon diet gives you health, but not insight into science. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| What if? | ||
| I don't understand science. | ||
| Let's combine all the conspiracy theories. | ||
| I think it's all hocus pocus. | ||
| Let's combine it all. | ||
| Mud flood, right? | ||
| Tartaria. | ||
| What actually happened is most life on the planet just left the prostate. | ||
| Human civilization developed, like the city of Atlantis developed technology, built a spaceship, left. | ||
| The humans that stayed behind had no idea what the fuck was going on, you know, now live in here. | ||
|
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| I'll think of that when I'm like flying an airplane. | ||
| If there's an earthquake right now, I wouldn't even notice. | ||
| I wouldn't even care. | ||
| It'd be fine. | ||
| Like I think... Depending on how big the earthquake was. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Like a 9.9 happens. | ||
| Didn't even wake up. | ||
|
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Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They said on the news it was the worst one to ever happen. | ||
| And I'm like, it's not all that bad. | ||
| Where was it? | ||
| I was in like, I think it was in Oklahoma or something. | ||
| Oh, I was referencing like if I was on an airplane and it happened, it'd be like, well, whatever. | ||
| It's none of my concern anymore. | ||
| So those people that took the spaceship off earth. | ||
| Yeah, you wouldn't care at all. | ||
| There was just that big earthquake in Alaska, and I feel like everyone else was like, hmm, that's Alaska. | ||
| But that was the Aleutians. | ||
| It's so far away. | ||
|
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It's the Ring of Fire. | |
| Who cares about that? | ||
| Yes, but it was the Aleutians. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Like, those stretched to Japan. | ||
| Did it cause a tsunami? | ||
| No, there was just a tsunami warning for like an hour. | ||
| But it wasn't like Anchorage or anything. | ||
| It was like on Alaska, where 12 people live. | ||
| Yeah, we don't care about those 12 people. | ||
| Except if you want crabs. | ||
| Yeah, definitely because of climate change, of all things, turned out. | ||
| Yo, I was in Vegas. | ||
| It was 120 degrees outside. | ||
| Two women just died. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, it's all over the place, yeah. | |
| It was 114. | ||
| When I was there, it was 120. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| You walk outside of any casino. | ||
| Nobody goes outside, for the most part, except at night. | ||
| At night, it was 110. | ||
| So, right when we got off the plane, we flew JSX. | ||
| Were they hookers or real people? | ||
| The people walking around? | ||
| That died. | ||
| Two women who are hiking in like the Death Valley or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people do die out there. | ||
| It wasn't Death Valley, it was called something else, like the Heat Valley or whatever. | ||
| Ironic. | ||
| 114 degrees and they just never came back. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Dude, I walked outside to cross from, I think it was the Cosmo to the Aria, and it's quite literally like a minute walk. | ||
| You're just covered in sweat. | ||
| No, it's dry. | ||
| There's no humidity there, so you don't sweat at all. | ||
| You feel coolness on all over you because the water is being ripped from your body. | ||
| But as soon as I got in, all of my shoes were Scorching hot because they're, they're black vans. | ||
| It was nuts. | ||
| I don't know how people, I was driving around, you see people walking outside and I'm just like, that's crazy. | ||
| Then of course this story, two women walking for a hike, dead. | ||
| Dude in Abu Dhabi? | ||
|
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154? | |
| Was it Abu Dhabi? | ||
| It was like in the east coast of the Persian Gulf, 154 degrees last week. | ||
| I feel like that just shows you God doesn't want you there. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| I was going to say, you know, these places are hot, but also how much of this is self-inflicted by the fact that these are like, Just complete black concrete like Texas uses what white concrete so it doesn't absorb as much heat like if you have these massive cities which already retain heat on top of black concrete which absorbs more heat | ||
| I have a hard time gauging how, what, because I don't know about science, much like you, how much the temperature increases because of what we've done to the area that it's in. | ||
| It would be hot, I totally believe it, but is it extra hot because we aren't thinking about what we're building? | ||
|
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That's a big problem in the Chicago area. | |
| As of right now, it's 120.4 in Abadan, Iran. | ||
| Basra, Iraq is 120. | ||
| Well, there goes my family vacation. | ||
| It's all basically Tunisia, Iraq, Kuwait, etc. | ||
| Do you think that they're controlling the weather to attack Iran? | ||
| No. | ||
| Minimum Concordia. | ||
| Minus 113. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I had a friend who taught a lot of people. | ||
| It was in Iran. | ||
| A lot of people that would come over and kind of like switch from their side over to America. | ||
| A lot of them were like, you know, fake traders or whatever. | ||
| But, uh, he would teach him English and stuff like that, and, uh, who was part of the U.S. | ||
| military. | ||
| And, like, seriously, like, the worst snakes imaginable and stuff just come inside to keep cool, like, it's a living hell. | ||
| No, none for me, thank you, though. | ||
| Like, it's awful there. | ||
| At around, uh, at around minus 50, I think, you can pour water, and it'll start freezing, just like... Oh, that's cool. | ||
| You've seen the videos of people, like, chucking water, and it just becomes ice as they throw it, right? | ||
| Yeah, snow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| Well, that's like the cooking eggs thing. | ||
| I mean, I remember doing that in Arizona as a kid on the sidewalk at my cousin's house. | ||
| So, as of right now, it's 109 in Las Vegas. | ||
| It's 720 in Vegas right now. | ||
| What do we got? | ||
| Wichita Falls is 108. | ||
| Glasgow Airport, 107. | ||
|
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I wonder how long until they'll start using the drones that they use in the Middle East here, stateside. | |
| You know, the ones that... Spray water? | ||
|
unidentified
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No, they, like, shock the atmosphere. | |
| They, like, shoot electricity in the atmosphere, and it produces rain clouds somehow. | ||
| Well, that's awesome. | ||
|
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I don't understand the science, but... That's incredible. | |
| Yo, the coldest place in America right now is 45 degrees. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| In King Salmon. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Where's King Salmon? | ||
| I wear shorts at 45. | ||
| Where's King Salmon? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| It's a guy. | ||
| It's a guy. | ||
| Mount Washington! | ||
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How is he so cool? | |
| He's just super cool? | ||
| Mount Washington I think was like, what was it, like minus 100? | ||
| We were supposed to go there? | ||
| Where's Mount Washington? | ||
| I think it's like Vermont. | ||
| Vermont? | ||
| Yeah, or New Hampshire or something. | ||
| Negative 100? | ||
| Yeah, this was earlier this year. | ||
| Is that with windchill or is it just straight up? | ||
| That was actual just temperature I'm pretty sure. | ||
|
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The crazier thing that I've seen is how hot the ocean, the Atlantic Ocean, has been and like people in Florida like it's too hot to swim. | |
| It's like 98 degrees. | ||
| What? | ||
| They're saying it's gotten hotter in the last couple years than it has throughout the last like hundred or something. | ||
|
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And yeah, recorded history whenever we started taking note of it. | |
| It's wild, like you can't even swim, and they said it's going to be bad for hurricane season, but we'll see. | ||
| They said last year was supposed to be pretty bad, and I don't think it really was, if I remember correctly. | ||
| There was a year, like four years ago, where we had three hurricanes. | ||
| Normally there's one. | ||
| So that was like a big... I think we're in frogs in a pot with the climate thing right now, and like people are making fun of the climate zealots, because a lot of them are misled. | ||
| I don't think you can stop producing waste. | ||
| Well, some of them are developmentally disabled. | ||
| Yeah, literally. | ||
| But if we just ignore it, I just watched a video of the sea level rising slowly every year, every year, every year for the last like 20 or 30 years. | ||
| That's fake news. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you this. | ||
| If a guy comes to me and he brings a bunch of his friends, they're all very wealthy, and they say, listen to us, the ocean levels are going to rise. | ||
| And then I look down at my portfolio and I'm like, all of you guys have beachfront property. | ||
| Why would I trust them? | ||
| That's just it. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Have a nice day. | ||
| Go fuck yourselves. | ||
| Because Obama, his house should be underwater. | ||
| If this is true. | ||
| And it may be true. | ||
| No, it's only inches. | ||
|
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That's true. | |
| He told us. | ||
| We did. | ||
| We pulled this up, remember? | ||
| It was five and a half feet. | ||
| Oh no, I wasn't there. | ||
| We pulled up the NOAA chart, and it's like, within ten years, most of his property is submerged. | ||
| Well, who the fuck is buying? | ||
| Are they like, well, the end is coming. | ||
|
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That's how much money they have. | |
| So, uh, might as well just buy property and enjoy it. | ||
| Before the end wipes us all out. | ||
| Maybe that's the mentality. | ||
| Maybe all of these global elites are like, you know, the world is warming, we're all gonna die, we've got no time left, so we're gonna buy beachfront property to ride it out in style. | ||
| It looks like the sea level's risen about close to 300 millimeters in the last 150 years. | ||
| I don't know if that's shocking or not. | ||
| There's too much disinformation about climate change. | ||
| Some people, I've been told, are hiding certain parts of the climate shift over the last few hundred years because it doesn't work with their data. | ||
| They want to show a constant escalation, but it jolts and you'll see upticks and then the temperatures go down. | ||
| Here's a good one. | ||
| Hazmat said, no insurance agency would allow mortgages for waterfront property if climate change was real. | ||
| Tell me how any bank is selling a 30-year mortgage in Miami Beach if any of these people actually believed it. | ||
| And Miami Beach was supposed to be wiped off the planet like 10 years ago, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| They're lying. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| And I'll tell you this. | ||
| Maybe, maybe they're not. | ||
| Certainly it's within the realm of possibility. | ||
| But they're untrustworthy. | ||
| Yeah, they are untrustworthy. | ||
| It's shifty for sure. | ||
| And misled. | ||
| The idea that we can cease production to save it is not the way. | ||
| You need to reuse the waste. | ||
| It's the only... | ||
| Only ethical and logical solution. | ||
| It would be funny, though, if they start, you know, at Miami Beach building platforms at, like, the fourth floor that look suspiciously like a boardwalk and connecting all of the buildings. | ||
| You know, like, what's going on here? | ||
| And they're like, don't mind us. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| Ensuring our, and they're waterproofing the base levels. | ||
| Yeah, all of a sudden you realize they're building little rockets on the bottom of them. | ||
| That would be, how cool would it be to have a building that was actually like four stories underwater? | ||
| That's how South America was, and the Bay Lin where I stayed, but they were like stilts. | ||
| The bottom half of the house would be like open, no walls, and it would just be like on four giant wooden pillars. | ||
| Well, yeah, but I'm saying like- And you go upstairs and that's where the family lives full time. | ||
| You go into a building- Build boats and shit on the bottom floor. | ||
| You walk onto like a large bridge into a building, And the rooms are actually underwater. | ||
|
unidentified
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There's a, um, there's a hotel in China where it used to be a quarry. | |
| And so they flooded it. | ||
| But before they flooded it, they built like 10 stories of hotel rooms. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Into the side of the quarry and then they flooded it. | ||
| So now it's like an underwater hotel. | ||
| It's, it's so cool. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| But they, it totally an engineering marvel. | ||
| Like it took a lot of money, a lot of time, some very smart people to get this done. | ||
| Also, would you stay there and be like, Oh my gosh, the window's going to break. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh yeah, here it is. | |
| Yeah, I'd be a little freaked out. | ||
| Couldn't help it. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is sick. | |
| Oh, so it's above water and goes under? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, I forget how many stories goes beneath. | |
| I'd be like, I'd like one of the rooms that is not underwater, please. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, the B1M is awesome, I love this guy. | |
| The structure features a full-height glass atrium conceived as a waterfall design presented extreme construction crisis. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| For me. | ||
| Is this China? | ||
| Yeah, China. | ||
| He's like, we're gonna adjust. | ||
| You know, if the flooding gets bad, we'll find ways. | ||
| So they kind of just built it and then let it... I think so. | ||
| That's where I understand it. | ||
| Is it China? | ||
| Yeah, China. | ||
| He's like, we're gonna adjust, you know, if the flooding gets bad, we'll find ways. | ||
| So they kind of just built it and then let it... | ||
| I think so. | ||
|
unidentified
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I can't remember the exact order. | |
| Oh yeah, because they left the waterfall. | ||
| Is it done yet? | ||
|
unidentified
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This is four years ago, this video. | |
| There might be an update. | ||
| I thought it was done. | ||
| of extraordinary projects conceived and constructed... | ||
| This is four years ago, this video. | ||
| There might be an update. | ||
| Undoubtedly. | ||
| Um... | ||
| China opens hotel and quarry? | ||
| I thought it was done. | ||
|
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Pottery Pot in China. | |
| ...used to create Zhongguo Jianzhu. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, they flooded it. | ||
| Because for someone, like, the underwater rooms are in a trap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I would, like, I'd go underwater and eat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's because the bottom floor of this hotel is actually built under the water. | |
| It would suck if, like, all those sharks came in your room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The first time ever that I'm gonna be eating. | |
| You woke up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you? | |
| I wonder if you'd get seasick being in an underwater hotel room, even though you're not moving. | ||
| I feel like pressure, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That might get to you, yeah. | |
| Cool. | ||
| That looks awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool place. | |
| I don't know, I would stay there. | ||
| I'd take it back. | ||
| We're all gonna live in Waterworld. | ||
| That movie was great. | ||
| And we're gonna ride around stealing gas and smoking cigarettes. | ||
| And I'm gonna have sand, and I'm gonna be like, talk about how much money it's worth, because it is money now, because it's sand. | ||
| It's called dry land. | ||
| Yes, it's amazing. | ||
| And then I guess they go to Mt. | ||
| Everest. | ||
| They're gonna remake Waterworld. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| Why wouldn't you? | ||
| I liked the idea, but... Do it on Mars, if you may remake it. | ||
| Or it may have to be the sequel, like water, another water world. | ||
| Water Mars. | ||
| It'll be like after they melt all the ice under the dust on Mars. | ||
| Here's an idea. | ||
| It's a movie where there are people on like an abandoned planet. | ||
| And then the actual story is that it was a colony ship that crashed. | ||
| And 300 years later, they have no idea human civilization ever existed. | ||
| And they're just, you know, Living 300 years, human civilization, couple thousand people only, and they have no idea that they came from Earth with knowledge of technology because their ship crashed over. | ||
| That'd be cool, like an M. Night Shyamalan movie where you don't find out till the end, but it doesn't even matter when you find out, it's just kind of part of the story, because the story's so good. | ||
| Or like, yeah, or the ship comes back and they discover Earth. | ||
| But it's like all been flooded by water, but then they start discovering the stuff about Earth, and you're like, oh. | ||
| Well, but why would Earth, it's like, so what I'm saying is there's a story that takes place on a planet that's in development from, like, tribal, like, people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they have religion, and then there's actually a massively advanced human civilization, us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A colony ship went to space. | ||
| Let's say the military officers running the ship died in a gas leak, oxygen bursts, an emergency release drops the pods on the planet, they all come out and they're like, what happened? | ||
| They have kids, tell stories, stories become myth and legend. | ||
| No one actually, by four generations, no one actually believes Earth is real. | ||
| It's a crazy story of heaven. | ||
| Like, there's a place where we come from way up in the sky where you can fly and there's all the food you can eat whenever you want. | ||
| People just eat so much food and everyone is there. | ||
| You can talk in an instant just by thinking and they're like... | ||
| Sounds like magic. | ||
| And they would just assume it's some fantastic religious nonsense. | ||
| I like that movie because you wouldn't have cell phones. | ||
| I was there too. | ||
| Did you ever get the vibe that movies started to suck when the characters talk on cell phones? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It made it convenient. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A phone booth wouldn't even exist. | ||
| I love that where they got to get to a phone because it's like I need to communicate and all that like struggle is now removed because it's just like, well, I think that's why a lot of movies are set. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| No, you go. | ||
| Like a lot of movies that are set back in the seventies because people want to write them where there's not an easily fixable problem with a cell phone. | ||
| You know, the worst thing about sitcoms is that almost all of their problems would be solved by saying a word. | ||
| It'll be like, you know, a guy's sister is over and the girlfriend walks in and she sees this woman in a bathrobe and she's like, how dare you? | ||
| No, wait, let me explain. | ||
| No, you're cheating on me. | ||
| No, just let me say one thing. | ||
| No, I won't let you. | ||
| I'm breaking up with you. | ||
| Aw, shucks. | ||
| Instead of just going, it's my sister. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| I hate those shows. | ||
| Like, just say the word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Say word. | |
| All right, let's go to colors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alrighty. | |
| Okay, so... We can actually see the names this time, so we're just gonna go down the list. | ||
| Akrul, if I say that right, I'm gonna unmute you. | ||
| You should be with us. | ||
| What up? | ||
| Yo. | ||
| He might have to unmute himself. | ||
| No, Akrul, you are mute. | ||
| You are now muted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now you're muted. | |
| Now you're unmuted and just not saying words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello? | |
| It's in your settings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you might need to choose a different input for your microphone. | |
| Or you're on push-to-talk. | ||
| Alright, we are gonna come back to you, Akrul. | ||
| We'll give you some, uh, it looks like you're trying to figure this one out. | ||
| So we will, we will come back to you. | ||
| We'll try you next. | ||
|
unidentified
|
To see Nosky. | |
| Nosky! | ||
| Nosky jumped the line. | ||
| What's up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Howdy, howdy, howdy. | |
| How's it going? | ||
| Great, actually. | ||
| I've been telling people this is the best day ever, to be honest. | ||
| I started out, I replied to one of Dave's tweets, and he actually followed me back this morning. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Best day ever. | ||
| Do you remember doing that, Dave? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, there you go. | |
| You're lucky number 100. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| I feel good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, my question is for you, Dave, actually. | |
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've said it before. | |
| Others have said it. | ||
| Oftentimes, you're the funniest person in the room, if not one of them. | ||
| Uh, as such, how do you handle being in a room where there's so many people that are equal to you or maybe on that next level? | ||
| Uh, does it alter how you react in that room? | ||
| Uh, do you feel like you need to step up your game at all? | ||
| No, I just have fun. | ||
| I just enjoy talking to people. | ||
| And if there's a people that are equally funny or having fun, I just enjoy just talking to other people. | ||
| I mean, it's kind of like, uh, especially when you're surrounded by comics or other people that are. | ||
| You know, you don't always want to just kind of one up and try to steal a conversation. | ||
| I just think being natural and being yourself is the best way to go about it. | ||
| And you kind of see where everything lands. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right on. | |
| I can agree with that. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of the best way. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really good stuff. | |
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So the follow up to that would be, you know, based on your routine, it does use a lot of material from your past. | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, different stories there. | |
| How much of that is actually true story and how much of it is garnished to spice it up or polish it? | ||
| Uh, most of it is. | ||
| I mean, it's basically all true, it's just some of it will be, like, exaggerated for the point of, like, comic relief a little bit, but the stuff that seems like it might be falsified isn't. | ||
| Like, the harder stuff is completely real. | ||
| Like, if you're talking about, like, if you look into, like, hitting my bully with a brick, or almost getting picked up by a pedo, or all, like, that's all completely real. | ||
| Like, uh, being arrested 13 times, the car crashes, the... | ||
| being attacked by a wolf man, all that stuff, like that's all completely real. | ||
| So like that's, and that took me a long time to do it on stage. | ||
| Like even the one that I'm doing recently about my parents coming home | ||
| from my daggeting cancer surgery and I had passed out from masturbating | ||
| while making a grilled cheese. | ||
| Like that was completely, that's completely real, but it took a long time for me to be vulnerable enough | ||
| to actually start talking about those on stage. | ||
| So, like, at first, you know, it's like a lot of dark one-liners, but over time it's grown to where I don't mind being completely honest with an audience, you know? | ||
| I mean, you certainly cut out certain parts, like the... | ||
| The immense pain that you cause your family and friends. | ||
| But it's all pretty accurate or a slightly embellished, for the sake of storytelling, version of the truth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright, I get that. | |
| My favorite one is the wolfman joke. | ||
| That one is true. | ||
| The only part in that that's slightly exaggerated is in the beginning of that, I talk about bonging a fifth and falling through a glass table, which is a completely true story, but that is actually separate from how I got to the mental hospital, so I combine two stories there. | ||
| But yeah, I did in fact bong a fifth. | ||
| My friend Anthony who's in that story, he's passed now, but my friend Nick, I actually just went to a fair with him and his kid and we were talking about it, you know, like our kids are riding rides and we were still discussing about the days where I used to bong fifths, you know. | ||
| What is the fifth? | ||
| A fifth of whiskey. | ||
| That was a fifth of absolute vodka, but I used to do mainly whiskey. | ||
| When I was really drunk or high, they'd pour a fifth or a half pint or whatever into a beer bong and I'd slam it. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| They may smoke weed out of a bong with alcohol as the water. | ||
| Oh, no, no, like a funnel at the end and then a giant tube, and then I would do that with liquor. | ||
| And it was because I would shake, too, if I didn't drink. | ||
| I was really into complete, full-blown alcoholism by the time I was 15, and then I quit when I was 27. | ||
| How did life change for the most after that? | ||
| I don't know, we could take more followers. | ||
| Oh no, for the better. | ||
| I mean, mainly for the better, but I still, like I said, I struggle with stuff where I like to do stuff in extremes, so I always will have a problem with something, but I'm much better at it now because I can identify it and I'm always honest with myself about it. | ||
| Right on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| Yeah, but I appreciate the call. | ||
| I mean, yeah, it's all based on truth and I do that so, you know, not just so people can relate to me, but it is cool when people do relate and go like, I had this serious problem. | ||
| I've been sober for three years because of something you said. | ||
| That's kind of a crazy thing to hear because you told a joke. | ||
| Right on. | ||
| Word, is that satisfying, Cernovsky? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is more than satisfying. | |
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you for calling in, brother. | ||
| We're going to try and get a Kroll back. | ||
| And a Kroll, did you figure it out? | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| I don't think it's figured out yet, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, man. | |
| We'll come circle back. | ||
| We'll come back to you. | ||
| We'll come back to you. | ||
| Let's jump down to flagrant triggers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flagrant. | |
| You were with us. | ||
| What up? | ||
| Hey, thanks for taking the call, guys. | ||
| Hopefully I don't cause a 20-minute debacle this time. | ||
| My question's for Tim, and then I'd like to get the panel's thoughts after. | ||
| Tim, you're known to congratulate, like, Radical left influencers or leftist influencers or politicians when they do like general acts of good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But my question is, should we reward those types since they're creating division and promote radical ideology with praise since they're actively pushing for the downfall of basically the Republic? | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And that especially applies to paid actors? | |
| Because, this, I guess the second question would be, isn't that kind of rewarding evil? | ||
| No. | ||
| You, uh, so, here's the issue. | ||
| Uh, I'll tell the Joey Stiles story. | ||
| I like Joey. | ||
| Uh, Joey hired a bunch of black guys to smash up a car with Trump logos on it, to trick people into thinking that if you were a Trump supporter, black people would attack you. | ||
| Or, whatever, to create shock content. | ||
| He got exposed, he got attacked for it. | ||
| Everybody shat on him, and told him to go fuck himself. | ||
| Prominent personalities and influencers were like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you did fake news. | ||
| And even I said that. | ||
| And then, I thought about it for like two seconds, and was like, holy shit, that's actually a really bad idea. | ||
| Because that means the only thing he can do is more evil. | ||
| If you've got someone like Cenk Uygur of the Young Turks, being attacked relentlessly by the left, for saying things that are true and correct, or like Ana Kasparian, a better example. | ||
| She's like, hey, don't call me a birthing person. | ||
| And the left relentlessly berates and attacks her? | ||
| Where do you think she's gonna go? | ||
| Do you think she's gonna cry and beg and say, okay, fine, I'll do whatever you say? | ||
| She could, only if she has no other options. | ||
| But what if then a whole bunch of people like, say, us, are like, hey, you know, we may disagree, Anna, but that was really cool of you to say, and we respect you on this one. | ||
| Well now, there's an open door to her right, and a screaming pitchfork mob to her left. | ||
| Guess which direction she runs. | ||
| You have to give people the opportunity to do the right thing. | ||
| If someone comes out, if Anna Kavanaugh said the right thing, and we all just went, fuck you, she'd say, look, she'd think to herself, my only option is to pander to these lefties, because the right hates me no matter what I do. | ||
| Then she tweets out, I'm so sorry for offending you, I'll do anything you say. | ||
| That's her only choice. | ||
| So we don't want to create those situations. | ||
| We want to tell people who are bad, who are doing bad things, if you do a good thing, we praise you and reward you. | ||
| Because a good thing is good. | ||
| You do a bad thing, we criticize you. | ||
| And so long as you do a good thing, you're welcome here. | ||
| Yeah, I agree with you. | ||
| Yeah, I do too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Cause I mean, if you just, if, cause then you're being inauthentic to yourself, if you don't, you know, if you're not being honest with her and how you feel. | ||
| And you want to recognize good in the world, right? | ||
| Like if she's doing a good thing, she deserves credit for that. | ||
| She deserves condemnation for doing something bad. | ||
| We can't just always have negativity being the only thing we respond to, right? | ||
| I mean, imagine this way. | ||
| Imagine like you're trying to, uh, what was someone just stepped out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was a cruel. | |
| Oh, why is this? | ||
| This should not be making those noises. | ||
| Anyway, imagine you are training, you know, a horse. | ||
| And you want the horse to jump over a log. | ||
| And every time he does, you whack him as hard as you can with a stick. | ||
| Do you think the horse will continue to jump over the log? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| No, the horse is probably going to stop jumping over the log and back away and be like, OK, like we negative reinforcement. | ||
| We know it. | ||
| If you hit someone repeatedly, they'll stop doing it. | ||
| So if like, Ana Kasparian's doing a bunch of good things, but you then just insult her, she'll stop saying good things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's just like, normal, any life form would do this. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So it's like, you can give the horse an apple, when it jumps over the log, and the horse is gonna be like, that was awesome! | ||
| Jumped over this log, gave me an apple! | ||
| I'm in a good mood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| That's how it's done. | ||
| How do we turn off that audio? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's in settings, you have to turn it off of notifications. | |
| I can find it afterwards, Tim, unless you want to do it right now. | ||
| Yeah, those bings and bongs can get to you. | ||
| You know, I'll follow up, I agree. | ||
| Yeah, who turned it on? | ||
| Basically with what everybody's saying, I agree with that. | ||
| And when I think of humans, I don't really think of them as like, this one is an evil one, this one is a good one, because people are capable of horrible evil and amazing good. | ||
| Everybody is. | ||
| Um, so you want to reward the good and highlight the good and expose the evil, I suppose, but not linger on it too. | ||
| You know, that's kind of a subject of how you deal with evil actions is like, I think exposing it for sure is a good start. | ||
| Exposing it and condemning it. | ||
| I mean, if it's bad, it's bad, and you should feel comfortable saying that, right? | ||
| But a lot of times, it's so bad that it condemns itself. | ||
| Just the exposition itself, like, shows the world of what a horrible thing it is. | ||
| You don't even need to be part of the inspiration. | ||
| Well, there's, like, dogpiling where everyone has, you know, told someone how horrible they are or whatever else. | ||
| You don't necessarily need to add to it. | ||
| But, like, if someone does something wrong, even if it's obvious it's wrong, you can still be like, yes, that was wrong. | ||
| There's no reason not to. | ||
| I think part of it is, like, what do you ultimately want? | ||
| Do you want to say, you know, there's no redemption, right? | ||
| There's no chance for you to ever do anything good because everything you do is bad. | ||
| Like, maybe you do feel that way, but on the other hand, like, if you're trying to tell people, like, there is a path forward, even if in the past you have advocated for bad policies and, like, When you speak truth and when you have these good values and we support what you're doing, I'm going to be open about that, right? | ||
| Are you looking to keep divisions alive or are you looking to see people transition into a better way of living? | ||
| There's always a chance for redemption, at least I believe that. | ||
| And I mean, people are evil and people are good. | ||
| But I mean, if there's a point where you see that, I mean, you talk about overwhelming emotions. | ||
| I mean, sometimes there is something that happens in your life that makes you finally feel something that allows you to change for the better, or at least attempt to. | ||
| And I mean, you do want to reward that. | ||
| There's not always a path to redemption, though. | ||
| For most people. | ||
| I think there is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Pedophiles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, but of course it's an outlier. | |
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| I think they could. | ||
| If someone never pedophiles again, then they've pretty much redeemed themselves. | ||
| Recidivism is like, what, 100%? | ||
| Do you think their victim is cool with that? | ||
| Like, that's the thing. | ||
| No, I don't know what the victim feels. | ||
| It's easy for you to be like, well, if you never do it again, but like the person who they were harmed on such a profound level, like, I don't know. | ||
| It would be very difficult to do that. | ||
| I think it's worse than murder because murder ends a life, but Abusing kids in this way, not only destroys their life, but it actually destroys the fabric of human civilization. | ||
| It deranges consciousness. | ||
| It fucks everything up. | ||
| So it's just like, it's a crime against humanity. | ||
| Murder is murder, murder is wrong, it's a crime against a human. | ||
| This pedophilia and the extent to which these traffickers and everything that's a crime against my is destroying someone's home That's like akin to murder to me. | ||
| Like if you remove someone's house their ability to live that's almost like killing them I don't know the I hope the world starts to see it that way like home defense is a big part of preserving yourself Well, I don't even yeah, I think it's beyond that too and people lose jobs. | ||
| They get absolutely zero forgiveness They lose everything they've ever worked for I mean, there's certain there's a lot of things that goes along with that that I think is pure not or evil But yeah, when you look at something like pedophilia Yes, if that's something that you're wired for and it's something that you do. | ||
| Unfortunately, I don't think there is Redemption for that so I will say yeah as a blanket statement. | ||
| I will agree with you there I do think but I do think that there is a punishment for that and That's death That's just my opinion. | ||
| My main opposition to the death penalty is there's no system perfect enough to protect the innocent when it comes to it. | ||
| My main problem with it is having a government with the ability to decide that bothers me. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Kamala Harris being like, kill this person, trust me, bothers me. | ||
| Trump said he's gonna execute anyone trafficking, even women. | ||
| Death penalty. | ||
| Swiftly too. | ||
| He's all about this swift execution kind of mentality. | ||
| It's very fucking creepy. | ||
| Well, 30 years on death row makes no sense. | ||
| If you're convicted of something warranting the death penalty, while I disagree with that there's a decent percentage of people who are innocent, and decent could be 0.1, but it's scary, but my point is this. | ||
| If the process is such that you have been deemed through due process to have forfeit your life based on the crimes you've committed, why are we waiting 30 years? | ||
| Well, I think it comes from the idea of, like, FISA courts and, like, you're going to kill someone if the government's going to kill them. | ||
| They better be fucking 1,000, like, 100% sure, not 99.8. | ||
| So it should, they should be prioritized. | ||
| Appeals process should be prioritized. | ||
| Stays should be prioritized. | ||
| But for people who, it shouldn't take 30 years. | ||
| Also, like, if the cartel hires someone to run a kid across and they kill the runner, did they make the world better? | ||
| No, you didn't. | ||
| And you're blaming the wrong person. | ||
| That's just... What do you mean? | ||
| What? | ||
| If you hire some... If, like, a woman you're forcing to run a kid over? | ||
| Forcing? | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| No, he said if a cartel hires a runner... Do they force people to? | ||
| I don't know if they subjugate humans and make them run... Kill the mules? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the trafficker! | ||
| I'm saying a forced mule. | ||
| I think you have to still be harsh against people who are doing that. | ||
| The United States does not pay ransoms. | ||
| Spain and Germany famously do. | ||
| So what happens? | ||
| You go to the Middle East, they found out you're American, they run. | ||
| You're Spanish or German, they laugh, kidnap you, and beat you. | ||
| So, the one promise that people... Yeah, but in America we give them shows on Nickelodeon. | ||
| But the point is, you go to the Middle East, you get kidnapped, you're an American, the only thing they can rely on is a bunch of JSOC guys jumping out of a helicopter and shooting their families and everyone in the room, because they don't care. | ||
| They're just going in there to clear the Americans out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So they're genuinely worried about capturing Americans. | ||
| ISIS wasn't, which was really scary. | ||
| But, famously, when I went through the heat training, they explained this, like, yeah, if you're European, typically they'll hold you for a long period of time, and even try and double the ransom because the countries just keep paying it. | ||
| If there is a cartel that says, you know what, they're executing our traffickers, let's kidnap someone's kid and force them to do it. | ||
| If the U.S. | ||
| says, well, gee, now we can't stop the traffickers because they're being under duress, that will just make them do it more. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| If we then say, I don't care why you're trafficking kids, You are facing the due process penalty. | ||
| Again, not offended that it's a penalty, but if that's the case, I don't think there's an excuse of, but they made me do it. | ||
| It's like, well, perhaps to a certain extent I can empathize with that, but imagine if the U.S. | ||
| government didn't allow it, and a gang or cartel, whoever, traffickers, kidnap someone's kid and say, now you will smuggle these people or we'll kill your kid. | ||
| They'll be like, they're gonna kill us anyway. | ||
| There's no point in doing it. | ||
| Granted, I understand there's a strong, there's a difficult question therein, threatening someone's child to force you to do it. | ||
| You might say, I'll throw my life away gladly for my, to save my kid. | ||
| So they might still do it. | ||
| Not an easy question, but I don't think, I don't like the idea of saying, well, you know, we, we can't because we don't know if they were duressed into doing it. | ||
| That's a really, really difficult question. | ||
| There's that guy with the bomb on his neck who, uh, what did he do? | ||
| He robbed a bank or something? | ||
| And then said, help! | ||
| Yeah, they made him rob a bank, the pizza guy. | ||
| And then his head blew up, or his chest blew up. | ||
| Well, because there was no way to get the bomb off. | ||
| And then, well, no, they didn't believe him. | ||
| They said, fuck you. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They said, we don't, like, get out of here. | ||
| And they sat him down and walked away. | ||
| And then he exploded. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They later came out and said he was actually in on it with the guys. | ||
| And the plan was to pretend. | ||
| I almost don't believe that. | ||
| It was a pizza guy. | ||
| I feel like they grabbed him, pulled him in and put a bomb on him. | ||
| And then said, go rob this bank and give us the money and we'll take the bomb off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Because it all added up to the fact that he was a pizza guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Anyway, Flagrant, was that sufficient? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the only thing I got, Dave, I saw you in Greenville, gave you some crappy t-shirts, but you and Derek absolutely fucking killed. | |
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People should go watch your show for Seriously Live. | |
| Thank you very much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congrats on New World, because certain people lost very fucking excellent talent, and it's awesome seeing you guys grow. | |
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I really do appreciate that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you give me the Disney shirts? | |
| Yeah, the Magic Groomdom. | ||
| Oh, dude, I wear those. | ||
| They're not crappy. | ||
| They're comfy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Those came from the site. | ||
| Yeah, we actually made them. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm glad you like them, dude. | |
| I do like them. | ||
| Yeah, they're comfy, man. | ||
| I'm going to wear it on the show for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, I'm trying to get Our third party producer crapped on us with fulfillment. | |
| So I'm working. | ||
| I've got a place. | ||
| We're just trying to get the machines because I'm going to go like direct to customer because I'm not going to deal with that again. | ||
| Oh, right on, dude. | ||
| I thought they were funny, man. | ||
| And they are actually a comfortable fabric, which was nice. | ||
| Because sometimes people give you that, like, crunchy, harsh stuff, and you're like... Yeah, it's very starchy. | ||
| Yeah, and you're like, ugh. | ||
| And these ones are the ones where you're like, oh, this is awesome. | ||
| I'm gonna wear this around the house. | ||
| This is comfy. | ||
| Carrie Lake gave me the most comfortable t-shirt I own, but it says Carrie Lake, so I can't, like, wear it around unless I'm campaigning for her. | ||
| You feel like arguing. | ||
| But I sleep in it. | ||
| Hey, Flagrant Trigger, do you have a website where you sell your shirts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's flaglerchickers.com. | |
| We're just temporarily down because, again, that third-party producer just crapped out on us because we're a small business and we weren't bringing in the numbers of bigger businesses. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| People should save it and check it out later. | ||
| Will you tell me when you go back up and I'll rock it on the show for you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we're going to try to crowdfund just to see if we can get some of the brunt of the startup costs out of the way. | |
| But I'm just going to do direct-to-customer because that's just way better, and I know the work will get done. | ||
| Cool, man. | ||
| Right on, man. | ||
| Well, thanks for calling in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you, guys. | |
| Have a good one, dude. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| We're going to give Akrol a try. | ||
| Akrol? | ||
| Come on, Akrol. | ||
| Akrol? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you hear me this time? | |
| Yes! | ||
| Yay! | ||
| Persistence. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What up? | |
| Can you hear me this time? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| Sorry, it was a headset issue. | ||
| Nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um, so, so you guys have mentioned a few times now, like the X app is going to be everything. | |
| And, you know, you kind of mentioned also it's kind of getting creepy. | ||
| And then you mentioned the Chinese surveillance state and all this. | ||
| So I think, by the way, I'm the 3A guy that called in a couple of weeks ago, third amendment. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um, so I think there's another aspect of this, which is, do we have a reasonable expectation to not be observed by the government if we don't want to be? | |
| Yes. | ||
| The right to privacy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's hard, isn't it? | |
| If you interact with these apps, we know that the government is giving this data. | ||
| For example, if I have an end-to-end encrypted app, if the government can break that encryption, should they? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's a Fourth Amendment violation. | ||
| And they're violent in the Constitution. | ||
| Just because they can doesn't mean they should be doing it. | ||
| They are evil people. | ||
| They are bad. | ||
| And, uh, there you go. | ||
| I kind of take another look at it. | ||
| I think, like, because it's happening anyway, like the Chinese, the Russians, they're all spying with satellites, that the CIA is like, fuck, we have no choice. | ||
| We have to... Doesn't matter. | ||
| All evil. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| Evil. | ||
| Whether or not... I don't know if it's evil. | ||
| It is evil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was gonna build upon that. | |
| I was gonna say the government thinks of privacy as almost like relative to the current society. | ||
| So privacy meant something different in 1900 than it does today. | ||
| Which, I don't know if I agree with that, but they're like, oh, everyone's got cell phones. | ||
| Of course, you know, we gotta, you know, listen in. | ||
| Sometimes make sure you're not a terrorist. | ||
| It reminds me of an argument, like, it's already happening, so you should be okay with it. | ||
| But, like, I'm not okay with it, and the government doesn't have the right to do it. | ||
| The argument they're making is that by you going to Twitter, it's like you walking out of your house and walking into a Starbucks. | ||
| Anyone can watch you do it. | ||
| Therefore, they have a right to track all of that. | ||
| The difference is tracking your internet, you know, tracking all the internet stuff is a picture-perfect view of your life, and the average person thinks when they're online, they have privacy. | ||
| That's the issue, and they're saying, well, you know, we can do whatever we want. | ||
| Well, aren't you supposed to? | ||
| Have privacy? | ||
| Yeah, on the internet. | ||
| I mean, regardless, like, shouldn't you? | ||
| Like, the same as any phone company, the same as anything else. | ||
| Like, the idea is you should have it. | ||
| Yeah, the idea of phone tapping is kind of... I suppose the issue is people assumed because they were in their home by themselves, no one could see what they were doing, and it's never been true. | ||
| Oh, I know it's never been true, but isn't the idea that it should be? | ||
| Well, I mean, I think people have a right to choose to make themselves anonymous or private on the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think it should all by default, like, that would be like saying, should everybody who walks out of their house put on a cloak to conceal their identity? | ||
| It's like... Well, of course, yeah. | ||
| No, you have the choice to. | ||
| The government shouldn't be allowed to spy on you and follow you around. | ||
| Like, if you were leaving your house and going to Starbucks every day and the cops were following you and spying on you, at a certain point, I think it violates the Fourth Amendment to follow you in public. | ||
| Yeah, I think if you go to the Starbucks and rob it, it's different than if you go to the Starbucks and talk to your friend and they hear that conversation. | ||
| What I'm saying is the government's argument is that once you're in public, it's not a Fourth Amendment violation because anyone can see it. | ||
| But that only makes sense if it's a reasonable observation. | ||
| That is... | ||
| The cop driving down the street saw you cross the street into the Starbucks. | ||
| And he says, I saw him. | ||
| If they're following you every day, they're violating your privacy. | ||
| I'll put it this way. | ||
| If a guy goes to a woman's house and watches her every day, he will be told to stop. | ||
| It's stalking, it's harassment. | ||
| No, she's in public. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, right. | ||
| So the cop shouldn't be able to do it either. | ||
| And that pertains to the internet as well. | ||
| Until we have, though, I think, a global governance of some sort, we won't be able to use law as our backstop for, hey, get out of my bedroom, because they're just going to do it. | ||
| Other countries' governments, they don't have amendments constitutionally and stuff like that, so they'll just take what they can. | ||
| That's a weird time to be alive, having to rectify. | ||
| Who would exactly do the job of your government to say, hey, our people have rights and you can't violate them? | ||
| But under- Like, you can't be a foreign government saying that you're doing stuff on our soil. | ||
| Like, that's a whole argument with, like, TikTok, right? | ||
| Like, we don't consent to our data being given to the Chinese Communist Party, and TikTok, because of the way it's structured and where it's based, has to turn over user data. | ||
| And so it's the job of the U.S. | ||
| government to say, like, no, you can't just have the right to it. | ||
| But under threat of what would be my question? | ||
| Like, we're going to blow your satellite up? | ||
| You're listening satellite. | ||
| I mean, right now, it's like, you can't operate here. | ||
| So, at threat of their business, but I'm down with satellite. | ||
| If someone is spying on people without their consent using a device, yes, remove the device. | ||
| But, well, I, if you can, but like the whole spying apparatus is like dudes in closets with headphones on, watching and listening to the internet. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So unless you're gonna kill everybody doing it, but I don't think that'd even stop it from happening. | ||
| So it's like if someone installs a device onto a deep-sea cable to steal data, we should disable that device. | ||
| Yes, I agree. | ||
| Anyway, Kroll, did you want to elaborate? | ||
| Is there anything else? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think there's a subtle distinction that's missing here, which is it's not that the government is investigating. | |
| It's they're just scooping it up just because. | ||
| For example, in the Stasi in East Germany, they had maybe one in four, maybe one in three people informing the government, which means somebody inside your house is doing it, which means you have no reasonable expectation of any kind of privacy at all. | ||
| And as Americans, I feel like we should. | ||
| These devices shouldn't be listening to us inside our house or somewhere that we don't want them to. | ||
| But they do. | ||
| You know what I think is going to happen? | ||
| All that data that NSA has been collecting for a couple decades, all they have to do is go to ChatGPT, take one cable to another cable and say, learn. | ||
| And ChatGPT will know quite literally everything about everyone in every possible way. | ||
| Minority Report. | ||
|
unidentified
|
horrifying. | |
| It will then instantly go through all the data and build predictive text models, financial | ||
| planning models. | ||
| It will become some kind of super intelligent structure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Minority Report. | |
| They may have already done it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Thanks, I hate it here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No predict crimes. | |
| Yep. | ||
| It'll say something like, you know, John Smith has a 98.6% chance of robbing a liquor store at this date at this time. | ||
| And then a cop will get dispatched arbitrarily. | ||
| They'll be like, hey, we got an indicator saying we're going to send you out to 53rd and 7th. | ||
| I'm like, you got it boss. | ||
| Then he goes there and the guy is seen walking. | ||
| The guy sees the cop and then turns around and doesn't rob the liquor store. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And all John did was, like, a cupcake. | |
| A photo of a cupcake. | ||
| It, like, won't even seem like it's connected, but the algorithm will be like, nope, nope. | ||
| Cupcake. | ||
| People who like that. | ||
| They rob banks. | ||
| I want a time machine. | ||
| To go to the future or the past? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Past. | |
| I just want to be able to smoke at a Burger King. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice! | |
| Those were the days! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'll be your VR experience that they craft for you. | |
| Just enjoying it. | ||
| I'm wearing really baggy pants. | ||
| Anyway, Akril, did you want to wrap up that last thought, or I don't know if I... One last example. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So this country could not have been created if the British were listening in on the Founding Fathers, right? | |
| I think they expected to be able to do that with privacy. | ||
| And that's kind of what I'm getting at. | ||
| Yeah, we were really anti-spies. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| Yeah, we were really against them. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shout out. | |
| Seamus did a great job. | ||
| And I also want to say to Raymond and Bert and everybody in the Discord server, it's really great. | ||
| I hope everybody gets in there. | ||
| It's really a lot of fun. | ||
| Right on! | ||
| Alright, man. | ||
| We really gotta get to SomeGuy, so thanks for calling in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Yeah, we got SomeGuy on the line. | ||
| We will see you next time. | ||
| Alright, last but not least. | ||
| SomeGuy! | ||
| Just SomeGuy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good evening, everyone. | |
| I hope everyone is doing well. | ||
| Real quick, Tim, I hope the coffee shop is coming along and will be open soon. | ||
| I think that's a phenomenal idea. | ||
| So I hope things are going quickly there. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| You were really loud. | ||
| Nice, rich bass in your voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That might be my mic. | |
| I apologize for that. | ||
| Good mic. | ||
| Okay, so my question is for the Penismaster. | ||
| I'd like to know, I've been going to comedy clubs for a long, long time, and really, I'd say over the last five, six years, I've noticed a steady decline on really all levels, both from talent, not you, of course, you're always great. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| The show, the quality's going down, the quality of the staff's going down. | ||
| I haven't seen an open mic night in, I don't know, five, six years. | ||
| So my question to you is, what can we do to revitalize the comedy industry, get new blood in there? | ||
| And most important, you know, how can we get back to people being able to bomb and be able to grow? | ||
| And just one last thing I want to dovetail. | ||
| What do you think about those little bags? | ||
| I think those are a really good thing. | ||
| I don't know if you've used those at any club yet. | ||
| Um, but I think they're pretty cool. | ||
| What are the bags? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um, so I've only seen them at a couple places. | |
| ComedyWorks uses them. | ||
| You have to put your cell phone inside of a bag that they lock up. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And so, you keep the phone, but you can't pull it out. | |
| And, you know, I think that would really help for a lot of these struggling new comedians. | ||
| Because, you know, you bomb now, it's all over the internet, and you're done. | ||
| So how do we get people to be able to go through those growing pains? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I think a large part of that, too, is self-inflicted, though. | ||
| I think a lot of comics have to realize there needs to be a long time. | ||
| There's sort of this instant idea of success where you're putting up the sets where you are bombing, and I think that's a huge problem. | ||
| I think we have to go back to actually enjoying the journey and not the destination, because the benefit of being a comedian is it's all a journey. | ||
| There's no destination. | ||
| There's just the idea of you growing and getting better. | ||
| Nobody's ever perfected it. | ||
| I mean, we can not argue, but you can have a discussion about who you think the best was, but there's actually no real answer to that. | ||
| Anybody could be the best. | ||
| The best one could be born today. | ||
| You know, there could be somebody coming up right now. | ||
| I think that is a part of it, too, is people are afraid to bomb. | ||
| They are afraid to be honest on stage. | ||
| And the ones that you see that are really honest on stage and really good on stage aren't necessarily the ones that get the most notoriety. | ||
| So, you know, and when you look at Netflix, a lot of these places, it's why I like I don't know why I'm blanking on his name all of a sudden, and I've even done radio with him, but he's really well known now. | ||
| Has a mustache. | ||
| Andrew Schultz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to see him next week! | |
| He's great! | ||
| Yeah, he used to go on our radio when we were in New York, and he's a guy who, you know, kind of, you know, he sold his special and ended up buying it back because what he's doing is true to him, and the reason why he stands out is because it's authentic. | ||
| And I think when you see these comics that are putting out something that's truly authentic, you start seeing people migrating towards them. | ||
| And I think that's what people have to do, is kind of learn how to become that. | ||
| You're not that overnight. | ||
| You have to learn it. | ||
| You have to learn the rules before you break them. | ||
| And I think that's really what we're missing, is people do want that sort of instant gratification. | ||
| Go out there, learn to bomb, learn how to do it. | ||
| Go up on stage. | ||
| I'll tell you who's doing a good job, honestly. | ||
| I went to Rogan's Club in Austin, and he does kind of cater to that. | ||
| And the room's really good. | ||
| It sounds good. | ||
| You have people showing up. | ||
| It's a hot room. | ||
| But you can bomb there if you're new, you know? | ||
| And it's going to hurt a lot more because the room's hot. | ||
| So if you're eating it, you're really eating it. | ||
| But I think the idea is people have to look at... They also have to look back. | ||
| And I think a lot of people don't look at comedy and the growth of comedy over the years either. | ||
| And that's something they have to look at is why is it what it is now? | ||
| And I just think it's about going up, learning to be unafraid, being interested in the process, and being vulnerable enough to be their own voice on stage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I like it. | |
| I love it. | ||
| Great, man. | ||
| Yeah, and I appreciate the question. | ||
| You have a great radio voice. | ||
| I gotta tell you that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what everyone's saying in the Discord chat. | |
| It's incredible. | ||
| If you are not on radio, please get there immediately. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People say that to me all the time. | |
| Well, that's perfect, then. | ||
| Let me end on this. | ||
| This is a question for anybody that knows the answer, and I'm pretty sure Dave's gonna, but I'm gonna throw it out there. | ||
| What is the velocity of an unladen swallow? | ||
| African or...? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I don't know that! | ||
| You got him. | ||
| Turned his own question against him. | ||
| That's from Monty Python, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Hey, did Schultz... That was a good one. | ||
| I think that was our last caller for the night, but I want to ask you, Dave. | ||
| Andrew Schultz, did he just, like, was he working, like, workhorse in the background, all of a sudden, then he went on Rogan's show once, and then he became, like, world famous? | ||
| No, that was me. | ||
| Yeah, that was also... That's basically me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I haven't been on it, but he's been on our show and stuff, and I've been at his club, and then... | ||
| I like him. | ||
| I think what he's done for comedy is really good. | ||
| I'd never- Yeah, Andrew would come on, like, Bill Shultz show in the morning was where I met him, and at the time he wasn't really uber famous, but you could tell he had a voice. | ||
| So I think he was kind of trying to go the route where they wouldn't let him. | ||
| Like, okay, you're waiting for the gatekeeper. | ||
| Where it's like, oh, I'm gonna let you on Conan. | ||
| I'm gonna let you on these shows I'm gonna let you you know, and the second that he stopped waiting and created his own thing is when he exploded So I think it was a mix of Rogan doing his own special and releasing it himself Putting out his own pod. | ||
| That's when he blew up was you yeah on his own route. | ||
| You have to make something it's it's you know, everybody seems to think that When I was growing up, it's like, oh, I want to be in a band. | ||
| I want to get signed by a label. | ||
| I just need the scouts to be there or whatever. | ||
| Like this was when I was a lot younger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| Dude, I did it for 15 years. | ||
| You go and do the thing. | ||
| And then if your thing is good, people notice. | ||
| And then eventually someone comes around with money. | ||
| So, but I, I had a, uh, someone ask me just this past week. | ||
| They were like, Hey, I'm, I want to get started on YouTube. | ||
| What's your advice? | ||
| Like, how did you get so big? | ||
| I'm like, well, it's really easy. | ||
| You know, start making your content. | ||
| All right. | ||
| You know, you got to put a lot of work into it, get your channel going, then go on Joe Rogan and then you're done. | ||
| Yeah, it's simple. | ||
| Just get on the biggest show ever. | ||
| And then you win. | ||
| Yeah, get lucky. | ||
| Yeah, it's all luck. | ||
| But there is a part of extreme hard work that you have. | ||
| You put extreme hard work into it, you drew attention, you drew attention enough to be on that show, and then you kept working, you kept putting out content, and you put out interesting content. | ||
| I mean, that's not something that most people are willing It is easy. | ||
| It is so easy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is easy. | |
| I'll tell you how easy it is. | ||
| Go outside to places with a phone. | ||
| Interact with people in interesting and unique ways. | ||
| easier than that. | ||
| It is easy. | ||
| It is so easy. | ||
| It is easy. | ||
| I'll tell you how easy it is. | ||
| Go outside to places with a phone. | ||
| Interact with people in interesting and unique ways. | ||
| Post those to X. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You see what I did there? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Post those to Twitter. | ||
| Boo! | ||
| Tag people in it. | ||
| Alex Stein has been skyrocketing because he goes and just does the thing. | ||
| And it was good. | ||
| And now he does more things and more things and more things. | ||
| So that's how I got started. | ||
| How did people learn who I was? | ||
| I was in Occupy Wall Street filming stuff. | ||
| And they're like, oh, that's that guy that filmed that thing. | ||
| And then I just started doing more and more and more stuff. | ||
| Andrew Schultz did his thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And then people start seeing it. | ||
| That's the power of the internet, man. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| And you guys all worked away at it. | ||
| You produced a ton of videos every day. | ||
| You're very consistent. | ||
| People know where to find you. | ||
| You did comedy. | ||
| You performed. | ||
| You kept going. | ||
| I think there is a level of... | ||
| You want it to be instant but if it doesn't come in the first six weeks you still have to continue forward. | ||
| You have to love what you're doing and then people will find you. | ||
| I slugged that at like an artist like a moron for a long time and it wasn't that I wasn't making money but I completely ignored the video element. | ||
| I had students at Columbia 12 years ago put together an entire video package of how to succeed in YouTube and I was like But who watches that? | ||
| I'm stupid. | ||
| So I just kept going around, and then, you know, eventually it's like, oh, I'm on Last Comic Standing. | ||
| Then I get Letterman, but then the guy who books me on it gets fired. | ||
| So it's like, I would have all these big breaks, and they would all somehow end up, like, heartbreaking. | ||
| And then all of a sudden I was like, oh, I'll just go on this show, and I ended up on Ari Lange and Anthony Cumia. | ||
| Then I end up on Crowder, and then all of a sudden people hate me for it, for the right-wing aspect of it, and you start doing other stuff, and, you know. | ||
| And over it, I was like, I just don't care, so I just started posting my own stuff, and just being honest, and you know, that's how I ended up on, like, they're calling me the penis master, because that's how Ari Shaffir saw me and booked me on This Is Not Happening, and like, eventually, when you're just honest to yourself, and you stop caring really what everybody think, and you're just true to yourself, and putting out those videos, all of a sudden people see you, and you start making at least a difference to yourself, instead of waiting for somebody to go, Hey, we accept what you do now. | ||
| You kind of just have to accept yourself and put it out there. | ||
| And take over. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Fox News's ratings are in the gutter. | ||
| You know, fuck them. | ||
| We're gonna grow and everyone else is gonna grow. | ||
| But we're gonna wrap up because we're way over time and I gotta go to bed. | ||
| So everybody, thanks for being members. | ||
| I'm back. | ||
| Thanks for staying with us while Seamus was hosting. | ||
| A lot of people had a good time. | ||
| Some people aren't as big of fans, I guess, but some people are really big fans. | ||
| So it may happen in the future if I ever take time off, but I'm glad we're able to keep things churning. | ||
| So Dave, thanks for hanging out. | ||
| It's been a blast. | ||
| Dude, thanks for having me again. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| And just to say it again, you guys as members are the only reason I'm able to actually go get my health taken care of. | ||
| Because before we had the members thing going on, if I didn't work, money just stopped, and that was bad news for, you know, for everybody, for the employees, for me. | ||
| But now because you guys are members, we have a consistent, you know, flow of income we can track. | ||
| So I really do appreciate you guys being members. |
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