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July 17, 2022 - Timcast IRL - Tim Pool
34:11
Sunday Uncensored: Dave Landau Member Podcast: Jill Biden Calls Hispanics "Tacos" Crew Has To See Naked Hunter Biden But It's Funny

Tim & Co. host comedians Dave Landau and Jamie Kilstein for a hilarious uncensored segment available in video format on Timcast.com Monday through Thursday every week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Participants
Main voices
d
dave landau
08:17
j
jamie kilstein
06:12
t
tim pool
12:45
Appearances
i
ian crossland
01:51
Clips
j
josh hammer
00:30
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Speaker Time Text
tim pool
Welcome to our special weekend show, Sunday Uncensored.
Every week we produce four uncensored episodes of the TimCast IRL podcast exclusively at TimCast.com, and we're going to bring you the most important for our weekend show.
If you want to check out more segments just like this, become a member at TimCast.com.
unidentified
Now enjoy the show.
tim pool
Jill Biden.
is being ripped by the right, I'll do air quotes, for saying the Hispanic community are as unique as breakfast tacos.
Oh my gosh.
unidentified
Okay.
jamie kilstein
Hell yeah, dude.
tim pool
Tacos and burritos.
The right rips Jill Biden.
Can I just give a simple, fuck you, the hill.
Come on.
We have this from the NAHJ.
NAHJ encourages FLOTUS and a communications team to take the time to better understand the complexities of our people and communities.
We are not tacos.
Our heritage as Latinos is shaped by various diasporas, cultures, and food traditions.
Okay.
jamie kilstein
Wait a sec.
Real quick.
Was that a real quote saying we are not tacos?
Yes.
Amazing.
It's right there, brother.
tim pool
You can read it.
Hell yeah, dude.
ian crossland
It's its own paragraph.
jamie kilstein
We are not tacos.
unidentified
National Association of Hispanic Journalists.
Right.
tim pool
Hispanic journalists.
These are not right-wingers.
So this is how... fucking stupid.
Oh my gosh.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
I like that.
The Biden family... The cut of your jib.
The cut of my jib.
Well, here we go.
We'll kick it off with that.
Jill Biden said, Hispanics are as unique as tacos.
She also said, the Bogotas of the Bronx.
ian crossland
What is Bogota?
tim pool
Bodega.
ian crossland
Oh, bodega.
tim pool
A bodega is a corner store in New York.
jamie kilstein
She's being a hashtag ally.
unidentified
Latinx.
ian crossland
Bogota's a city in Spain.
Maybe that's what she got.
tim pool
Bogota?
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
Bogota.
ian crossland
B-O-G-O-T-A.
unidentified
Yeah.
ian crossland
She's got the D and the G mixed up.
dave landau
She's like a step away.
Generic food they could have picked.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
It's like Italians are as unique as spaghetti.
tim pool
Can I just point out something weird?
Look at this.
It says the Hill has removed its comment section as there are many other forums for readers to participate in the conversation.
We invite you to join the discussion on Facebook and Twitter.
unidentified
This is Google's results are rapidly changing.
They will not allow any kind of feedback on this, because they know it's wrong.
tim pool
What we wanted to do, we don't have comments anymore, and I don't want to say too much, because we're working on censorship-resilient comment systems.
That's what we're trying to do.
I do think it's weird how this thing happened where you can't comment anymore.
Why?
Because people would just respond with racisms or something?
Is that what they're worried about?
You guys know about the dead internet theory?
jamie kilstein
No.
tim pool
We talked about it before.
The idea is that around 2016 the internet completely died.
Corporations came in, most content is not user-generated anymore, most profiles are bot accounts, and it's to simulate acceptable public opinion to control the narrative.
jamie kilstein
It's like the horror movie where it's like, but she died 25 years ago.
tim pool
Yeah, exactly.
But then you think about how all of a sudden comment sections everywhere are getting removed and it's like, that's weird.
ian crossland
A lot of this is like login with Facebook shit.
So they use Facebook comments on the... That's probably it.
...centralizing it.
Too much vulnerability.
tim pool
Yeah.
ian crossland
You might be right.
They just don't want to take on the responsibility of like a five... What do they call it?
The 230, Section 230 reform bullshit that they go back through all their stuff and they're like, take this down, take this down, take this down.
dave landau
Right.
tim pool
I think, I think it's partly to like similar with YouTube, how they got rid of the dislike button.
Like it's still there, but you can't see it anymore.
dave landau
Yeah, only the people that have the page can see it now.
tim pool
And I think the issue is, that New York nuclear attack thing, there's no comments, Joe Biden, there's no comments or likes and all that stuff, because then people would... You know what?
The dead internet theory is kind of real, but not real in the way they think.
The fact that all these news outlets got rid of their comment sections, the fact that Like, so many of these YouTube videos from the government
don't allow you to comment at all.
So you can't actually see the dissent. You can't see that people would be like,
we don't like Jill Biden. She's dumb as a fucking box of rocks and she's a racist.
unidentified
No.
tim pool
They get rid of all that.
dave landau
Well, they'd just be accurate.
tim pool
Now Joe, Hunter Biden, he called Asian people yellows.
unidentified
Oh.
tim pool
Hunter Biden called Asians yellow in text exchange with Cousin.
dave landau
Was he ordering one?
unidentified
Yes.
Goodness gracious.
tim pool
Yes.
dave landau
Was he really?
ian crossland
Yes.
jamie kilstein
He's like, give me a yellow to drag across state lines.
And then he hits a gong.
tim pool
Here's the text.
She's a legend.
dave landau
Make him sing Deck the Halls in a very racist fashion while I eat Christmas dinner.
tim pool
That would be a funny bit.
Like, didn't someone do a bit where they hired hookers, and when they showed up they said, we want you to clean the floors, and they went, fuck you, no!
dave landau
Why would you degrade me?
tim pool
End me over like a real man.
jamie kilstein
Look at this, look at this.
Bend me over like a real man.
tim pool
Look at these texts.
She's a legend.
None of these women except for Diva, but Nicola and Diva and Ella and Lucy will all know quality
girls who are like I am, distrusting and highly, highly wary of evil.
I also have Denise, a German, 26.
No to Lucy, I think.
Okay, so fine.
Do you want a foreign or domestic?
And you have to make the pitch directly.
I can't give you fucking Asians.
Sorry, I'm not doing it.
Domesticated foreigner, it's fine.
I'd give you Isabella, but she has kids.
And an NBA ex-husband.
No yellow.
Yasmina.
Like, what the fuck are they talking about?
What is this about?
unidentified
He looks like he's getting ready to buy the services of a woman.
And she's looking at different matrons to put him in touch with.
dave landau
You may not like the Lakers.
jamie kilstein
They're haggling ladies.
tim pool
Okay, so that's him and his cousin.
How much do you think they hooked up?
unidentified
Is that the one that gave him the old footsie roll?
tim pool
Oh, was that his cousin who did that?
dave landau
No.
tim pool
I thought it was his sister or something.
dave landau
I thought it was his cousin who gave him the footjob.
Can we say that on this part?
tim pool
Oh, this part you can say.
dave landau
Yeah, gave him the old fucking footsie up there.
Tossed around his bales.
jamie kilstein
I need a yellow and I need a fucking foot job.
tim pool
So do you guys, should I pull up the pictures of Hunter Biden's dong?
You can look at it.
jamie kilstein
I mean, do we also get this?
Are there ladies in it or is it just Hunter?
dave landau
Yeah.
Is that his cousin?
Cause that definitely does look incestual if I'm being honest.
jamie kilstein
A hundred percent.
dave landau
And he also has a very night at the Roxbury Chain.
tim pool
So this is the thing I was pointing out.
Do you see Hunter Biden's dick?
Because you can.
unidentified
He's rather not.
dave landau
I can see it from here.
tim pool
That's right.
unidentified
That's right.
tim pool
Take a good look.
unidentified
He's naked in a pool.
jamie kilstein
The first picture is infinitely more upsetting than him jerking off.
The first picture literally just looks like he regretfully buried a body of like a hit and run.
dave landau
It looks like he just got back from a Ted Kennedy drive.
He's like, I don't know what happened to Susan.
Did you have a towel?
unidentified
Did the Daily Caller think that... He's quick, find me a pool to jerk off in.
jamie kilstein
That's the second bit.
dave landau
It goes in order.
tim pool
Hey, you can see that he's grabbing his junk.
dave landau
Yes.
unidentified
Hold on.
jamie kilstein
These pictures to me now, it's a flip book.
It's in order.
Buried a body, then panicked, went to masturbate in the pool, then smoking after he came.
dave landau
Yeah, if it's innocent, it's just dipped his head in, decided to take a dip, tried cigarettes for the first time.
unidentified
I appreciate that.
tim pool
I like how they circled his head.
unidentified
Yeah, they really did highlight.
tim pool
They highlighted the wrong head.
unidentified
Oh, can you believe that?
Yeah, yeah, they really did highlight they highlighted the wrong head. Oh, can you believe that?
dave landau
Look this guy has a face Look at that frown he's got.
tim pool
Hunter Biden hacked Snopes.
What are we talking about Snopes?
What do we got?
4chan explodes after it allegedly hacked Hunter Biden.
So I had to look at a bunch of these hacked things that they were posting and a lot of it is like Hunter banging women and shit.
dave landau
Yeah.
tim pool
Like the one of him sending a text message to his dad is basically like a woman bent over and he's just from behind.
jamie kilstein
Oh, okay.
I was actually trying to figure out what you were talking about during the show.
dave landau
It's a virtual Christmas card.
tim pool
Yeah, basically.
It's animated.
jamie kilstein
He did spell out Happy Holidays on her back.
tim pool
Let me see if I can pull up something from Patriots.win.
So this is, we have the, formerly the Donald, it's Patriots.win.
Patriot.win.
And I'm wondering if they have the, what is this?
jamie kilstein
Hey, if you made me look at him masturbating by himself in a pool, can I at least see him fucking a girl?
tim pool
Yeah, but I'm wondering where you can get him, because... Oh, got it.
dave landau
There was one I saw earlier, I think it is old, though, where he's just twirling around a gun.
unidentified
Right.
dave landau
And he's just naked next to his bed.
jamie kilstein
Jesus.
dave landau
I don't know if he's doing meth or... Oh, Jesus has nothing to do with it.
I don't know if it's meth or cocaine or crack.
No, it's not cocaine.
tim pool
Like, one of the things, they called him Peto Peter on the phone, because apparently Biden called himself Peter Henderson or something.
Okay.
jamie kilstein
Who was like a character- Oh, that was like his pseudonym or something?
tim pool
Yeah, like a Tom Clancy character who betrays his country and sells it.
unidentified
Wow.
tim pool
Of all Tom Clancy- Are you kidding?
jamie kilstein
No, no, that's- Just call yourself Jack Ryan, bro.
Call yourself the hero.
tim pool
This is hilarious.
Look at this picture.
His daughter on the lips, his daughter on the lips, his daughter on the lips, his wife on the cheek.
unidentified
Gross!
tim pool
Thank you to our good friends over at Patriots.
jamie kilstein
Wow.
unidentified
I don't know if the... It's so weird with the kid.
dave landau
That's just weird.
tim pool
Kissing his granddad on the lips.
jamie kilstein
Yeah, I've never been kissed on the lips.
By a parent?
dave landau
Hell no.
unidentified
Grandparents?
No.
dave landau
Disgusting.
jamie kilstein
I've been jerked off to completion.
That's a little different.
After-hour show, baby!
tim pool
Yeah, but still!
unidentified
I get kicked off.
dave landau
There's one rule in what we do and it's no kissing on the mouth.
unidentified
That's right.
jamie kilstein
Everything else.
We're not gross.
tim pool
Well, let's see.
dave landau
It's pretty woman rules.
unidentified
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See you on the tour!
tim pool
We'll see if I can find some photos, but we do have this tweet from Cernovich.
This is a good point.
He says, It was treated as a huge story when some reporters found out that Don Jr.
and Eric posted in a hunting forum.
It was a major scoop.
They didn't even post anything dodgy, but finding this forum, huge story.
Today, we've got Hunter Biden.
jamie kilstein
So wait, what was the hunting thing?
Just them hunting?
tim pool
They posted in the forum.
They were just like old photos of them doing like culling or something.
unidentified
Yeah.
jamie kilstein
Yeah.
dave landau
Hunting is, it was actually just hunting, right, though?
unidentified
Yeah, like hunting animals.
dave landau
Yeah, that's what I thought.
jamie kilstein
Not like hunting prostitutes and dragging them across state lines.
dave landau
No, or like even hunting rhinos or whatever, or tigers, like a dentist on a bait pile.
It wasn't anything bad, it was just, some people hunt.
Yeah, just deer hunting.
ian crossland
I got this thing where I'm looking at texts, apparently Hunter Biden referred to Jill Biden as a vindictive fucking, what does he say, vindictive cunt?
tim pool
Yeah, like apparently she beat him or something.
And there's like a text message where he talks about how she abused him or some shit.
ian crossland
And I'm like staring at it like, is this just like drama, like real, what do they call it, like reality TV drama trash that's taking my eyes off the fucking Federal Reserve?
Probably.
But I mean, at the same point, it's the president's son.
You can't fucking ignore it.
I mean, you can't really ignore it.
You can acknowledge it.
Look, whether or not it upsets you is up to you.
tim pool
It's the president's son who does business with the president and handles his private affairs.
ian crossland
Yes, it's the president's business partner.
tim pool
Yes, exactly.
dave landau
Well, I also feel that there's probably a lot of validity to it because if you look at his age, I mean, he's how old now?
unidentified
52.
dave landau
52, came up in a certain age.
I guarantee you they were abusive whether or not, you know, whatever degree they were.
jamie kilstein
There was emotional abandonment.
dave landau
I assure you there was abuse.
There's no doubt about it.
I'm sure she was a certain way.
If you see him when he's, you know, all together, He's very, uh, dominating.
He's very, he's almost cruel really when you see him when he's talking to like Clarence Thomas and stuff like it's very, just dropping the N word.
You know, it's really, it's pretty amazing how Joe Biden did carry himself at one time.
tim pool
I bet Joe Biden beat Hunter.
dave landau
Oh, for sure.
No, I mean, like, he really, I think, beat him quite badly, and I'm sure she was very emotional and very physically abusive.
I mean, I'm sure they both had extremely... Poor Hunter.
tim pool
Not poor Hunter, but... I'm just imagining this little boy, Hunter Biden, and he walks in the kitchen and he's got, like, a potato sack on for clothing, and he's like...
unidentified
Please, I'm hungry.
tim pool
And he goes, what?
Come on, man.
He rips the belt off, just starts whacking, just mercilessly beating him.
And Jill's going, yeah, fucking get him.
Get him, Jill.
dave landau
Fucking make him bleed.
She grabs a big spoon.
She's like, time for dessert, Hunter.
jamie kilstein
And then Hunter's like, one day I'll find crack.
One day.
tim pool
No, no, anyway, he falls on the ground, there's parmesan cheese, and he crawls over to it, and he licks it, and then, because he was hungry, right?
So then, it's a sad, tragic story.
One day, he's 18, he's in college, and he sees on the carpet what he thinks is parmesan cheese.
unidentified
So for some reason, he smokes it, it was crack!
dave landau
And he's wearing the same potato sack.
tim pool
He smoked what he thought was Parmesan cheese because it was like a thing he formed and then he was like, what's happening?
I feel so good.
And they're like, yeah, that wasn't Parmesan.
That was crack.
jamie kilstein
And he was like, wow, I'm telling you this girl goes for $5.
dave landau
I give you a kiss.
unidentified
It was actually... Can you get me a yellow friend to do it?
tim pool
It was actually a sad story.
He was ordering street parmesan for spaghetti and it was sliced with crack.
dave landau
Can you believe it?
tim pool
That's how he got hooked on it.
jamie kilstein
Hunter Biden's gonna be the true hero.
He's gonna blow up Joe and all this stuff and he's gonna be the hero in the story.
He was abused and everyone riddled him.
tim pool
They're gonna make a statue of Hunter of like the man who stopped Joe Biden.
But the statue of him is like him smoking crack naked.
dave landau
Except from from here, Don's an ice cube.
ian crossland
Joe will leave office with a circle around his head.
Hunter will go on the redemption tour.
There'll be all this love for Hunter, he was abused by his father, and then he's gonna accidentally smoke crack again, and then it'll just disappear from the media.
tim pool
I like the idea that you said he's weakened at Berniezing, the sobriety.
jamie kilstein
Yes.
tim pool
Like they fixed his teeth.
dave landau
Yeah.
tim pool
He smokes crack, and then they're like, all right, are you with it?
Okay, come do the speech and claim to be sober.
And then as soon as he gets in the car, he's like, oof.
dave landau
Yeah, yeah some crack again He's on he was on the today show and they even had pictures of him like getting his teeth fixed almost like three days I just said then he's down there, and he's just like yeah You know I used to smoke a lot of you smoke a lot of Parmesan cheese.
He's having withdrawal right now Yeah, yeah, are you getting choked up about your dad?
jamie kilstein
Hey?
unidentified
Why?
jamie kilstein
Why did your rider only say no green M&Ms and crack?
tim pool
Have you guys ever been around someone who just did a bunch of blow?
jamie kilstein
I was around Dave in the 90s.
tim pool
Joe Biden comes on the Today Show and he's sitting there going like this and he's like looking around and he's like, dude, dude, I gotta tell you the story.
It's like to my dad, right?
He's like going to China because Because, like, dude, China's really, really bad.
But you gotta understand, like, it's not about China, dude.
It's also about Ukraine.
Like, Ukraine, there's gas.
People are getting so mad about this.
But, bro, like, the oil prices are so high.
Like, I'm telling you.
dave landau
They're just, like, putting Xanax into a drink, and they're like,
here you go.
jamie kilstein
Yeah, here you go, bud.
tim pool
That's him before the show, and then he drinks it, and he goes,
my dad helped me become a better man.
unidentified
So it's like the Xanax combined with the Coke normalizes.
dave landau
A doctor comes in, like he's Elvis, and they're like, all that matters is he looks normal on that show today.
tim pool
This is Sopwatch, and they're like, you've got 12 minutes.
unidentified
Go!
He's just even enough to sit in a chair.
ian crossland
So fucked up.
I got the impulse that he's gonna kill himself, Hunter is.
jamie kilstein
You know what's crazy?
I actually, I thought about that and I didn't say it out loud, but I thought about that when we started this.
Maybe that's how Biden drops out.
unidentified
Donald Trump is apparently going to announce the run for the presidency in fall this year.
ian crossland
Here's a list of guys, then Joel will play the sympathy, do the sympathy thing.
tim pool
That's the only way out.
ian crossland
It's so sad.
I don't want Hunter to kill himself, man.
dave landau
No, I don't either.
tim pool
Listen, listen.
Donald Trump is apparently going to announce the run for the presidency in fall this year.
Soon, yeah.
He showed the plane and everything, and he's even contemplating, there's reports that he's
going to announce early.
If he does, Biden is fucked.
What can Joe Biden do?
We know the Democrats don't want him to run.
He can't win.
So he'll need to bow out.
Why would he bow out?
If he bows out early, Trump goes, Joe Biden ran away.
The Democrats can't handle it.
I've won.
unidentified
My son needs help.
tim pool
Or Joe Biden is old and he gets sick or something happens.
Donald Trump says he can't handle it.
You can't vote for him.
He's sick.
But there is one way out for him that doesn't hurt the Democrats.
Hunter becomes sick or dies.
And Joe says, my only children, this is not the life for me.
Thank you, America.
I'm sorry.
I did my best.
jamie kilstein
I'm riding the Amtrak into the sunset.
tim pool
That's right.
And then the Democrats don't lose.
The Democrats go, you know, we had a great president in Joe Biden, despite all his hardships.
And he bowed out because of family.
And we respect that.
Donald Trump should not be bringing this up.
That's the only way they have out.
dave landau
Yeah.
jamie kilstein
If any of his advisors hear this show right now, they're gonna be like, we have to kill Hunter.
unidentified
No, I think they're just thinking everyone in this room.
tim pool
Or severe illness. Like, he might not die, but like if he has like an OD and he's like in the
hospital, he's comatose or something, they might just be like...
dave landau
Or really needs that rehab to the point where you're gonna see some change in him that actually
works.
Because I mean, there is... To get sober, you have to want to be sober, and that's a guy who doesn't want to be sober.
tim pool
He's fighting, and they're like, no, no!
And they're dragging him off, and they're like, it's for his own good, he's losing it.
dave landau
He's just on intervention, just drinking Listerine.
They're trying to get him to go to Betty Ford.
jamie kilstein
Hey, is Hunter Biden my mom?
I've got the super vanilla extract and Listerine, baby.
ian crossland
I have like, the one part of my brain is sympathy and love for this man, and I want his best future, but the other part of me is like, he's a corrupt businessman that's been fucking selling our country out.
I want harsh justice.
So I don't know.
dave landau
Part of that, too, for me, though, is like, what else do you do?
Like, what else is he supposed to do?
And again, I guess you could morally make a different choice.
But at the same time, can you?
I mean, I guess I don't know.
I've never walked in those shoes to be him.
Like, I do have empathy for Hunter.
I have none for Joe.
So I think Joe is a sociopath.
I think he's a narcissist.
I don't think he has a soul.
I don't think he cares about his kids.
I really don't.
I really think he's an evil, evil son of a bitch.
jamie kilstein
I believe that.
I remember there was, I've seen two comics.
One, I don't know if he's like outed, but like heavy into drugs, very, very famous,
heavy into like hard drugs like this.
And I did a, there was like a TV showcase in Australia and he was on it and he actually seemed really nice,
but all of his fucking agents and these yes men around him, literally applauding in circles when he would make jokes,
treating him like a special royal child.
And then I remember I did, I had this weird dinner and Andy Dick was there and Andy Dick was sober
and he was being super fucking cool.
And I had to go to a set and he goes, hey, let me come to your set.
And again, super fucking cool.
And we were talking about, Depression and we were talking about recovery and I told
him that you know Robin really helped me with my depression And he was telling me that Chris Farley gave him his the
big book. He's like book of a yeah And he was like, you know really trying to stay sober
josh hammer
Hey guys, Josh hammer here the host of America on trial with Josh hammer a podcast for the first podcast network
Look, there are a lot of shows out there that are explaining the political news cycle, what's happening on the Hill, the this, the that.
There are no other shows that are cutting straight to the point when it comes to the unprecedented lawfare debilitating and affecting the 2024 presidential election.
We do all of that every single day right here on America on Trial with Josh Hammer.
Subscribe and download your episodes wherever you get your podcasts.
jamie kilstein
This is America on Trial with Josh Hammer.
So the reason I bring this up is because you take someone like Hunter Biden, we're just talking about comics, right?
You take someone as powerful as Hunter Biden, even if homeboy wanted to get sober, when you are just surrounded by sycophants and yes men and people who are, you know, using you to either get to your dad or whatever, it's, I mean, borderline impossible, uh, to, to get help.
Even if you want help now, I'm not saying he's a good person and he wants help or whatever, but like, Man, it's one thing, you know, you wanted to get sober.
You probably had some good fucking people in your life who wanted to help you.
Whereas I feel like when you're that powerful, if you don't want to get sober, everyone's just going to enable you, give you everything you want and not question you at all.
dave landau
You have a $30,000 a month house in Malibu that's being funded by the taxpayers that you're allowed to do drugs in.
I mean, it's a big difference.
jamie kilstein
Yes.
dave landau
And yeah, Andy Dick, there's always that funny story with Norm MacDonald where Chris Farley went into a bathroom with Andy Dick and, uh, I guess Norm Macdonald looks at Ari Lane and goes, well, there's only two reasons you go into a bathroom with Andy Dick and neither one of them are good.
unidentified
Norm is the best.
He's the best.
I'm going to be a little bit more.
tim pool
He does.
jamie kilstein
$30 million?
unidentified
$30,000 a month?
dave landau
Oh, $30,000 a month.
A month, yeah.
On taxpayers, where he's allowed, guarded by security, or by, what do you call them?
unidentified
Secret Service.
dave landau
Secret Service, thank you.
tim pool
Someone posted the joke from Dirty Work, where Norm is like, look at all these dead hookers!
And the guy's trying to close the trunks.
dave landau
And it's all Hunter.
tim pool
Right, yeah, exactly.
They're like the Hunter Biden scandal and Norm's like, you know, they're all popping open.
dave landau
And the guy's Twitter.
He's trying to shut it all in.
I've never seen so many dead hookers in all my life.
Lord knows I have.
tim pool
That movie was great.
dave landau
That is the funniest movie, dude.
And the original script is amazing.
jamie kilstein
The best bar fight of all time.
Where he's like, G7, Rolling Stones, Street Fighters, and you press G8.
Wham!
Chair shot.
An entire bar fight to that.
unidentified
Saget did that yeah yeah yep the fish scene I was one of Farley's greatest
dave landau
roles because he's basically the unlikable one yes and he's just he's
just yeah that's a guy's new mayor Lee Ming the Saigon whore that I know I
haven't seen it it's fantastic I'll watch it with you in I know such a sad
sad year for that too and Norm held cancer was it 11 years I think you
fought it never told anybody and people were yeah I mean I This last special was beautiful.
jamie kilstein
It was awesome.
dave landau
I mean, just him at home, into his computer.
jamie kilstein
Hilarious.
You know, I didn't want to... I'm stuttering because I'm like, I don't want to sound like name-droppy, but I also think it's like cool to say.
And if you had any experiences with Norm, anyone who did can follow it.
We have pages of direct messages on Twitter.
Pages.
All about comedy, censorship, cancel culture.
And the reason I'm saying that is because he cared.
I've never seen anyone like, I mean, dude, he would just write these like monologues about how much he cared about comedy, about free speech.
Like it was so authentic and so legitimate.
Like he loved nothing more than comedy and like the purest fucking way.
ian crossland
I thought about if you released those, like the McDonald Chronicles or something, and he'd be like, I don't know, fuck.
But his people might not.
jamie kilstein
I mean, he wouldn't, but I would just feel weird doing it, but it's cool to have.
I've shown a couple of my friends and shit like that just because it's dope.
tim pool
He was fucking smart, man.
Yeah, we should set up a private space where only rich and famous people get to watch that stuff and really experience it.
The poor people don't get to watch any of that stuff.
We'll invite Hunter!
jamie kilstein
It's in one of those New York apartments that won't be affected by a nuclear bomb.
tim pool
No, it'll be in a $30,000 a month mansion with blowin' hookers.
dave landau
Yeah, it'll be great.
jamie kilstein
They're called yellows, Tim.
tim pool
We like walk in and Hunter's like, man, you're making bank off those videos about me, Tim.
And I'll be like, haha, we cheers.
unidentified
We got him.
tim pool
We got him, yeah.
jamie kilstein
We got him, baby.
dave landau
It'll be like the Playboy Mansion, watching a porn star blowin' a dog.
No, that's real.
unidentified
Have you been to the Playboy Mansion?
dave landau
No, no, but those are old stories.
I wanted to.
My friend got to go once.
tim pool
That's still a thing?
unidentified
Gross.
dave landau
No, no, he's dead.
In fact, the company kind of went under, but the deal was if you bought the house, you had to let him live in it still.
What?
That weird?
Yeah, so if you bought the Playboy Mansion, you just had this perverted voyeur living upstairs.
jamie kilstein
You can fuck his wife, but he's hanging up above you watching.
tim pool
We gotta bring that back.
Jamie, can you be our lascivious old man?
jamie kilstein
man. Oh yeah. Oh perfect. 100%. This is my man. According to Jezebel.com I already am.
tim pool
We'll hire a bunch of young beautiful women in a talent role for a show and they have
to be you know, you know, hanging out on you.
jamie kilstein
Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice, buddy.
dave landau
Well, I used to do, it was the Artie Lang and Anthony show, and I got there, and Artie was saying when he first did it, or went to the Playboy Mansion, it was for, you know, stand-up comedy.
And it's like all these beautiful bunnies, and then the grotto, and the famous things.
That whole party ends, the real women come, and it's just these, like, toothless, cocky whores.
jamie kilstein
Oh, no!
dave landau
And Artie's not exactly, you know, filled with standards.
And even he's just like, oh, what is this?
tim pool
I'm not touching any of this.
jamie kilstein
Where are the pretty girls going?
They're all being, like, shown off.
dave landau
That's just for show.
jamie kilstein
That woman looks like Hugh Hefner.
tim pool
We're in West Virginia, and there's a gentleman's club.
There's a bunch of them in this one area.
And we drove past it because we were going to buy fireworks and then go let them off.
And we saw the sign.
It said, come visit our daytime dancers for a gentleman's club.
jamie kilstein
I have to go.
tim pool
And it's like two things.
jamie kilstein
I have to go to this.
tim pool
Two things.
jamie kilstein
For a bit.
tim pool
Everybody knows daytime strippers are the bad ones.
unidentified
Bark in the basement.
tim pool
And when you have to advertise to try and get people to come in, they must be especially bad.
jamie kilstein
Oh, right.
I didn't even think about that.
They, like, throw in the buffet for free.
dave landau
That's the worst part, too.
You're like, oh, well, the buffet is free.
You want to be sitting there like, these eggs are delightful.
tim pool
Dude, this is like this fat old woman and she's like thrusting in front of you and you're like, it's worth the bang.
jamie kilstein
Dude, I feel like I would get syphilis from the eggs.
dave landau
Can you believe it's turkey sausage?
It really doesn't taste like it.
tim pool
I remember when I was growing up.
jamie kilstein
Crab Benedict?
unidentified
You know what, this is pretty funny.
tim pool
People used to say all the time, this is what I couldn't stand, is people would go, Hooters actually has really good food.
I like to go there because the food's really good.
And I believed it the first time.
I was like 18, and I was like, really?
And they're like, oh yeah, dude, the wings are great.
And I was like, oh, okay, I'll go.
And then I go and the food was shit.
But then we had big tits.
And so I'm like, you lied to me.
unidentified
So it goes.
dave landau
You're like, this is what it is, yeah.
tim pool
Yeah, you could have just said you wanted to look at girls' tits.
jamie kilstein
Yeah.
tim pool
Whatever, dude.
jamie kilstein
You want to get bad food and look at nice tits.
unidentified
Correct.
jamie kilstein
Yeah, she looks fine.
unidentified
I don't know.
tim pool
Maybe it was the Hooters.
I went to the foods.
It was shit.
ian crossland
It's one of those things that you would hear from someone that probably heard it from someone that the food was great.
tim pool
And it's an excuse.
Because someone was embarrassed.
They wanted to go stare at tits.
unidentified
Read the articles on Playboy.
That's what it is.
dave landau
We had a Hooters in the hotel we were staying at to do comedy.
This is like 15 years ago.
Just killing it at life.
And we went downstairs to eat at Hooters, because why not?
jamie kilstein
You have to.
dave landau
And we're sitting there, and there was this girl celebrating her birthday party with her dad, which was the saddest thing I've ever seen, with balloons, just her and her dad.
jamie kilstein
And that's cool, you got to see Joe Biden before he became president.
dave landau
I know, right?
And there's this guy at another table, and he just looks over and he goes, how old's your daughter?
unidentified
He goes, 13.
dave landau
Natalie he goes 13 and he goes nice we were we were crying We were like, this is, we were like, that's a commercial for Hooters!
tim pool
That's Hooters!
dave landau
And every, it still is an inside joke where anytime we've even, to this day, even send each other a text, we immediately just go, nice.
unidentified
Jamie is deceased.
dave landau
It was the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
unidentified
Holy shit!
Hooters!
dave landau
We should just make it.
Hooters.
ian crossland
Oh fuck.
tim pool
We uh, we gotta do uh, we have an idea of doing fake commercials for Castcastle.
jamie kilstein
Yeah.
unidentified
Okay.
tim pool
So we gotta do shit like this.
jamie kilstein
A hundred percent.
A hundred percent.
tim pool
We should do it.
How old's your daughter?
jamie kilstein
Nice!
dave landau
Hooters!
unidentified
Watch the big game on Sunday!
tim pool
Bring your kids!
unidentified
Just her sitting on her dad's lap sadly with a balloon.
dave landau
Bring your daughter, who clearly her mom died.
That's terrible.
It was so sad.
unidentified
I'm definitely going to hell.
jamie kilstein
Bring your daughter for the one weekend you're allowed to see her.
dave landau
For good reason.
unidentified
Your first unsupervised weekend.
tim pool
We're going to get a bunch of emails.
We're going to get a bunch of membership cancellations.
unidentified
I brought my daughter to Hooters for everything.
Maybe you shouldn't have done that.
jamie kilstein
What the fuck?
dave landau
There's nothing wrong with that.
I go for the wings.
tim pool
That's right.
When people were talking about the drag queen story, people, like the leftists, were like, well, look at these little boys at Hooters.
And all the conservatives were like, that is also bad.
jamie kilstein
It's also bad.
tim pool
But they were like, do you think it's conservative Christians bringing their children to Hooters?
No, it's like liberal urban city dudes doing it.
You're complaining about yourself.
dave landau
Right.
tim pool
I got an idea.
John Levine from the New York Post wrote, um, can conservatives actually articulate, like, what's wrong with Drag Queen Story Hour?
All they say is, it's just bad.
And I was like, wow.
And I was like, okay.
I was like, clearly you've not seen any of our shows talking about it.
And, but I just quote tweeted him a quote, and I put, um, Go Go Dancer Story Hour okayed by John Levine.
Because what people don't understand is, um, Drag is inherently sexual.
Drag performers all know it.
But they're doing a non-sexualized performance for kids.
But it's like having a go-go dancer read a book to a kid.
So that's the gag.
I'm like, okay, what do you think would happen if we made a flyer for, like, go-go dancer story hour for your children?
Bring your five-year-olds.
And it's like a picture of this big, bimbo-y, busty, big-tittied woman and she's, like, smiling and holding a book.
unidentified
And she, like, thrusts while, like, reading.
tim pool
Like, parents would be like, I don't want that.
Like, then why would you want the drag queen to do the same thing?
Because they were doing that.
dave landau
Right.
No, it's true.
And it's also, your kid thinks it's a clown.
Like, whatever you're doing, like, it's not working.
Because your kid's just showing up and being like, there's this painted thing.
And I think it's a clown.
I really do think that's what kids think.
ian crossland
That'd be so terrifying.
A clown with a naked ass?
dave landau
Yeah.
You're like, I remember there was a very sexual clown at my birthday party.
unidentified
Imagine Bozo's magnum condoms making animals.
dave landau
Just these greasy elephants.
tim pool
I'm imagining this little kid sitting on his mom's lap with his birthday cake, and she's like, blow out your candles, and there's a clown next to him thrusting, like, towards the cake, with him, like, right here, just like... The clown's like, how old's he?
unidentified
Nice!
dave landau
The clown's name is Candles?
unidentified
That child?
tim pool
That child's name?
unidentified
Hunter Byte.
tim pool
Hunter Byte, hell yeah.
unidentified
All right, man.
tim pool
Dave, thanks for hanging out.
This has been hilarious.
It's been a blast.
dave landau
Oh, dude, thanks for having me.
It's been wanting to come for a long time.
Thank you for having me.
I appreciate it, too.
tim pool
Yeah, man, any time, any time.
dave landau
Thank you.
tim pool
And for everybody who's a member, we got a ton of stuff we're planning.
We've been talking about it.
Big announcement potentially coming tomorrow.
Really appreciate all of your support.
Thanks for hanging out.
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