I'm checking in from a beautiful Hyperborea, frozen hyperborea.
I'm checking in from the cold with a few insights that will perhaps be useful to you.
I don't know.
I will say the following as a disclaimer: that there are, of course, men who are more knowledgeable about this topic than I am, because my own two beloved girls, my own two beloved cuddle princesses, they are still quite small, so I approach this more from the perspective of a humble philosopher.
So, anyway, before I get into the topic at hand, we have a message from the sponsor of this video.
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Now, on to the matter at hand.
The first question we need to ask ourselves as fathers of daughters is, of course, what do we want for our daughters?
Happiness.
Simply put, happiness, security for them and their children.
And in my humble view, at least, this is again, I'm just looking at the world around me and I draw conclusions.
I recognize patterns, and I see that the women who are happy are the women who have found a good man and who have children.
There are women who can't have children, they can pursue a different path, that's a different topic.
Now, we're talking about, you know, in most cases, it's possible for a woman to have children, to find a man, and create a family.
And I'd say that is the heroic path for a woman to find a good man with potential.
The man doesn't need to be perfect when they find each other, but you need to see that potential in the man and then bring out the best in him.
And then they create a family together, grow together as a loving couple.
So, for a man, I will make a video on this later on.
For a man, you have your own path in front of you, your own determination, and that determination.
It's more of a metaphysical quality in a man, I've talked about it before, that will make you attractive to women, that you have that firm goal at hand that you strive towards.
So, for a man, the goal is something else, but for the woman, the goal is to find a good man.
Now, then, as a father, your role, my role, as I view it at least, is to be a good point of reference, a good point of reference as what a good man is.
Because if I may be so bold to flatter myself and say that I'm a good man, I'm a good, dependable, decent man.
So, what I do is what my girls will look to.
Okay, this is how a man is supposed to behave, think, speak, treat others, etc.
And they will most likely, and this is something you can observe.
Again, pattern recognition.
You can see that women usually tend to end up with men who resemble their father, or you know, who act the same, or who are similar in certain ways.
And this also leads us to the tragedy of many things, and that is, of course, women who grew up without a father, and they, if you look at bad life outcomes, both for men and women, it's usually often the case that single motherhood is not good at all.
So, if we know that a single motherhood child is more likely to be for a man engaged in criminal activities, you can look at studies showing this.
A boy growing up without a father, more likely to engage in criminal behavior.
A woman growing up without a father, more likely to engage in promiscuous behavior.
And criminality for a man and promiscuity for a woman, they're sort of the same thing.
Might sound a bit strange, but if you think about it, it's about not having these boundaries, moral boundaries, because they haven't grown up with a father who can act as an axis mundi, as an entity that connects heaven and earth, who provides a good moral framework for them to operate within.
So, if you don't have that rock to lean against, so you, the father, you are the rock they can lean against and see this is a correct moral path to take.
This is a good decision, and they can lean on you as the high priest of the household.
This is how they did it back in ancient Rome, by the way, that the father of the house, the Patri Familias, he was in charge of the religion of the household.
And I think this is very appropriate for a man to have that moral guidance inside of him, and that will also yield a nice shield, a rock, a security for the children and the wife, of course, that they can lean on him.
So, this leads us into the question how to act as a man.
Then, and for a man, a father, if you think about it, what is an optimal father?
Yeah, it's someone who is calm, collected, confident, not someone who's prone to outbursts, someone who's knowledgeable, someone who knows the correct way, someone who knows the way, simply put, and someone who does the right thing.
So, if you think of yourself a lot, that what you do, how you act, how you are, that will directly impact the type of man your daughter will find.
Because it's usually the case, again, the type of man you are is likely the type of man that your daughter will be drawn to.
So, you can decide for yourself what kind of man do I want my daughter to be attracted to.
Yeah, then you are that man yourself.
Because if you look at again pattern recognition, you see that often, I'm not saying always, I'm not saying always in any of these situations, there are also women, men and women who have grown up without a father, but they turn out all right, plenty of exceptions.
But the pattern of it, the pattern of it, is that a woman growing up without a father or a weak father, she will have a worse life outcome.
This is a pattern, it's not every time I'm generalizing here.
We need to do it when we talk about this matters.
Same thing with a boy.
I'm not saying that all men growing up without a father, I'm saying that there is a pattern, and I'm saying that single motherhood is bad.
So, we can say that, okay, if the father isn't there, it's bad.
If the father is weak or unreliable or bad, yeah, it's also bad.
So, then we know that we as fathers need to be good men because that will increase the likelihood of a good life outcome for our daughters and sons, of course.
So, that being said, the importance of a father to take care of himself, to be completely in control of himself, to not be prone to emotional outbursts, anything like that.
Easier said than done, but it gets easier the older you get and the more experience you have.
Easier with the second child, by the way, a lot of new learning experiences with the first child, of course, completely natural, and you shouldn't beat yourself up if you get frustrated or irritated every once in a while.
Do try to subdue that urge and do try to be calm at all times, and yeah, you will have that calming presence.
So, a patient parent is a calm child.
So, now we have reached the point of the video where I say the things I always say.
You can probably guess what I'm gonna say next, and that is, of course, that you need to hit the iron, you need to get as well trained as possible.
Because if you see, if you look at modern culture, if you look at Hollywood production, the father is basically always portrayed as a slouch with a big belly and he is out of shape and he is foolish and stupid and only interested in sitting at the sofa watching sports.
So, then you also know that this is something, this is the opposite of what you want to be.
So, if you are fit yourself, again, then your daughter will look at okay, this is how a man is supposed to look like.
And you all know the holistic reasons.
If you go to the gym, you take care of yourself, comes with a whole host of positive health benefits.
So, it's not only about looking jacked, it's about everything, basically.
You all know this is familiar to you because I've said it so many times before: the holistic nature of gym training or martial arts or similar matters.
So, anyway, if you look at these weak fathers, these foolish fathers, then it might also be the case that a young girl she's looking for approval someplace else because she doesn't respect the father because he's a lazy slouch who doesn't have that drive.
But if you are a pater familias with some gravitas, then she can look at you and say, Okay, this is what a good man is.
So, very important for you as a father, and this is me speaking to myself by the way, me speaking to myself, saying what my own goals and ambitions as a father or daughter might be, and that is to be a good man myself first.
So, I don't want to let myself go in any way, I want to be the axis mundi, the constant rock they can lean upon so they feel comfortable, and it is, and they must, of course, always trust me and know that I'm a reliable man, so therefore, you can never be drunk, for example.
You shouldn't drink alcohol anyway, of course, but I'm just saying that you shouldn't be ever seen as unreliable.
So, to recap my thoughts on this fine day, your main mission is for your daughters, for your daughter to become happy, to find a good man she can be happy with, to create a family.
And of course, if you have a daughter who finds herself a good man, that will also be good for their children in turn.
So, she wants to find a man who will become a good father.
That is the key.
And then you also need to show, because I know there is a lot on the internet discussions about women liking bad boys, etc.
Well, if they only have two options: a bad boy who is irresponsible but he at least has some fumos, if that is being presented as one alternative, and then you have a dork, a dork who isn't capable of anything, yeah, then it's no wonder they will choose the bad boy.
But then you have a third option, and that is to be a stable patron familias, someone who is a cultured thug, you can say someone who is both stable and you know who possesses that primordial force within him.
So, you need to hit the gym hard, that is what I want to say, and of course be responsible and as sharp and as good in as many ways as possible, and that will reflect upon you.
So if you're worried about the future, which is normal to be by the way, you should know that you can influence the future by your actions here in the now.
Now on a last note, how to behave with your girls.
I can only say how I behave with my girls at the moment and that is to be as loving, kind, cuddly as possible and give them a lot of compliments saying that they are my beautiful princesses and everything like that.
So you can be as loving as possible.
That's also very important because after all you want your you want your son-in-law to become loving as well to their children.
And of course you should be loving to your children for your sons as well of course.
Simple stuff really and it's it comes quite natural to be loving and cuddly and kind.
And now lastly as I've said before view it as a learning experience everything and yeah try to just get better and more calm and confident for each passing day and you will prosper as a father.
