Bethany Hamilton defends homeschooling as a 2-hour daily alternative to traditional schools, crediting surfing and faith for her discipline and resilience after losing an arm at 13. She rejects modern parenting trends—screen addiction, seed oils, and passive fatherhood—while advocating whole foods, Bible-based values, and shielding kids from pornography until adulthood. A vocal critic of transgender sports inclusion, she faced harassment for opposing males in women’s surfing, framing LGBTQ+ movements as anti-Christian threats to societal stability. Her mentorship program for girls focuses on faith and conflict resolution, contrasting today’s social media-driven childhood with her own era of outdoor play. Hamilton ties personal agency—faithful marriage, intentional parenting—to cultural change, arguing small-scale resistance can counter broader decline. [Automatically generated summary]
It's truly just facing my fears and not letting my fears overtake me so much that I get paralyzed.
So I think maybe since when I lost my arm when I was 13 years old.
I had such a deep passion for surfing that my decision to get back in the ocean was based off of getting back to my passion and my love for riding waves.
Just facing my fears, you know, I had like a deeper reason, like I just love doing what I did.
And so I wanted to see if it was possible with one arm.
So I truly just faced my fears.
And over time, I think facing them over and over and over again, I eventually became less fearful of sharks, so to say.
And it's funny, I've heard that sharks and motivational speaking are like...
People's two greatest fears.
And that's like the two things that I do.
I surf with sharks in the ocean.
Or I've like, you know, overcome my...
Like, incident with the shark, and then I do motivational speaking, which I would say I didn't like that at first.
But eventually I overcame that, like, that dislike or that fear or that uncomfortability.
And I think so often in life, we naturally want to, like, run from discomfort, you know?
We want to make things as easy and comfortable as possible.
And so, if you can learn to recognize that sometimes you can't do that, and sometimes you have to...
Like walk into uncomfortable, you know, I find in like relationships, for example, sometimes you have to have the uncomfortable conversations to make that relationship more beautiful.
Yes, it's definitely, I've adopted in my own unique way, and thankfully I have one really strong arm, so we make the most of what we got here.
But yeah, my approach to catching waves is different.
Like a lot of times people will take like 10, 15 strokes, whereas me, I'm trying to position as close to the takeoff as possible so that I take one to three strokes to catch the wave.
And so it's definitely different, but I make it work.
My mom was very encouraging to me in my childhood to know God and to have faith.
And so I look at my 13-year-old self and really think childlike faith.
That's what Bethany had at that time.
And that helped me to overcome that season and to be grateful for life.
I woke up thinking...
I could have died, but I'm still here, and I'm so grateful to be alive.
And even though my life felt upside down and my future felt uncertain, it was obviously a really hard, chaotic time, but I had this peace that I believe only God can bring, that even though I didn't know what my future was going to hold, I trust that there's more for my life, and I'm grateful to be alive.
And that gratitude really pushed me forward, I think.
Like, I didn't mope a lot.
I didn't, like, sit and focus on, like, the negative of the situation and how awful it was.
And I would even say, too, like, I did media really early on, kind of willingly, like, as a little 13-year-old because I had a heart for other people and I wanted to encourage other people.
So I started surfing four weeks later and then people were like, oh my gosh, this little girl's like learning how to surf with one arm right after she loses her arm to a shark.
So people were just awe-inspired.
This is like before social media, but my story truly went super viral.
And I would get letters from all different walks of life, like inmates to like people all over the world, like little girls, like if Bethany can surf with an arm, I can overcome my challenge.
And so I had a heart for other people, and so I was willing to talk about my story and share what I had went through and my desire to keep going and overcoming.
But I think talking about it really helped me to overcome the traumatic side of it.
Just facing that traumatic incident and talking about it, like now I think I can think about that exact moment and I don't feel like overwhelmed with sadness or anger or, you know, it's just, it is what it is sort of a feeling.
And I think talking about it really helped that in itself.
And I think a lot of people who face traumatic situations, they want to just get back to normal life.
So maybe that was part of my desire to get back into surfing was like, let's just get back to normal life.
Like, I want to be back in the ocean doing what I love, being with my friends, you know?
And so once I proved that I could do it, then there was no turning back.
I started surfing all day, or not all day, but surfing every day again and just getting back to normal life.
And it took time to adapt and adjust and figure out how to do things.
And there was definitely days where I'd be completely frustrated and crying and like the waves were just sending me back to the beach and just so frustrating.
Like, I think anyone who spends time in the ocean can know that like it's such a humbling place.
No matter how strong or capable you are, it will humble you regardless.
And I think because my mom had so much fun with me and it was apparent that she loved being a mom and that she loved adventuring with me and my brothers, that showed.
And so I think that inspired me to want to be a mom.
And so...
Yeah, fast forward, being a mom is such a joy in my life.
And I always thought I would have three, but here we are, we have four.
It's just a completely different model of living from the one that most Americans, certainly, I grew up with, where You know, the father or both parents sort of head out, you know, in the morning to their own totally separate spheres of work.
And then the kids go out to school, their separate spheres, and then possibly they all meet together for a meal at night and then they go to bed.
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What did that do to your relationship with your mom?
The rate of homeschool is grown by millions and millions of more Americans homeschooling.
And so what's really cool is there is a lot of resources and tools and information to make it more possible.
And I think a lot of people get overwhelmed at the thought of homeschool because you think of traditional school, which is seven hours a day, but a lot of that time is wasted time that isn't actually learning or educating.
And so taking the model and changing it to be less than two hours a day, and chances are they're learning more than they would in a school day.
You bring it back to the financial system, and it is a lot harder to survive on one income.
Now, fast forward in this day and age, my parents made it work in that my mom was working, and so there was a little pass back and forth, or I would go stay with my friend if my mom was working a night shift.
And so I just remember like...
She just worked the restaurant industry.
Both my parents were in the restaurant industry.
So they're very like simple life, like not a high income, just barely getting by.
But they did show that you can homeschool on a lower income and still do a whole lot.
And so I think seeing them worked hard was really inspiring for me because I just saw them dedicate a lot to me, but also work really hard.
I think a lot of people are overwhelmed at the thought of homeschool because, you know, parenting in itself is pretty hard.
For me, I've had to unpack a lot of, like, my habits or, you know, things that I'm not necessarily proud of.
Like, you know, I had a season where I was really, like, short-tempered and, like, I had to work through some health things to get on to the other side of that and, like, support myself to better mother my children.
And I look back on that season and I hate that version of myself.
Like, I mean, I'm forgiving of her, but I'm like, why was I like...
Yeah, and I look back on that season and I realized that it was more than just being a woman.
Like, I wasn't being supported nutritionally.
Like, my sleep was really bad.
And like, there was a few other things going on where it was like, just high stress.
And I was very easily angered, and I had to really work on my nutrition and my lifestyle habits.
I stopped watching TV at night.
Sometimes I would want to just wind down, and I stopped doing that, and I would just focus on getting to bed sooner, making sure I'm eating enough in the day, getting enough protein and carbs throughout the day.
And just making some health shifts that really like changed who I was.
Like I'm way more patient now.
I'm way more like I can hold the needs of my children and their emotions because children are more.
They're not as emotionally stable, and I really think that we help them stabilize by how we are.
And a lot of people are just struggling to remain calm when their child's having a full-blown tantrum.
It's like the parent is having a tantrum with the child, but we need to do the opposite.
We need to hold steady while they're having their tantrum and help them work through that.
And so, yeah, mothering's taught me a lot and has challenged me in ways that...
No other role in life has challenged me.
But I'm so grateful for that because it's sharpened me.
It's made me, you know, really have to dig deeper and, like, work through my issues and work through my challenges that were some of them were probably learned, too.
My parents are amazing, but I still, like, had some learned habits that weren't great that I needed to, like, unlearn and, like, reform and currently still working through some of them.
But, you know, for the most part, I can look back on this season that wasn't so good, and I'm so grateful that I was willing to adapt and challenge myself and look for help.
Educate myself and dive into health and be an advocate for myself because at the end of the day, nobody else was going to do that for me.
And fast forward even to the influence I have on my household and helping my husband to be healthy and helping him to take ownership in that area as the leader of our household.
And now I'm like...
Just the alignment that we have as a family, as a married couple, like continually working through the different little challenges along the way.
We're a unit.
And as him and I, as the leaders, we're leading our children.
And I think that, you know, we look through some of the challenges we've had along the way.
And our children are watching this, and we're literally their role models, and we're shaping this next generation.
And so there's a lot of weight that comes with that, and I feel like society has let go of that in a sense of like, we're just, we're going to school, and we're going to sports, and we're just trying to get by.
And there's lack of intentionality in the household.
And so I think...
I have a heart to not only work with teenagers, specifically in America, and help them to think through their future better, but now seeing the influence that the family has in society, it's so important.
And so going back to the foundation of the family, husband and wife, and what does that relationship look like and how can you...
Work through your challenges together and overcome together so that you grow closer together as you go through life rather than growing apart.
Just seeing the way society is now and the attack on the family and the attack on young people and their...
Their gender, so to say, and, like, the way social media has a role in society.
There's a lot that's not good and that we have to, like, think through and be intentional about.
I feel like kind of like what I would want to word it is...
Maybe it's just a passiveness, like we're just kind of being passive about things and we're letting things happen versus like choosing how we see things happen in the household.
We're just being passive and letting our children grow up, letting them see and learn whatever they can learn out in society.
You know, children are given iPads and iPhones super young and they're instantly being like told a lot of different compelling.
Things that aren't necessarily filled with truth.
And so, I think as a role, as a mom, and, you know, my husband as a father, you know, we're thinking through that because our children are still young, but our nine-year-old is going to be a teenager in, you know, a few years, and, like, life's going to change.
And so, how can we be proactive?
Not just be passive in his life, but really mentor him and speak into his life and help him find his career path, so to say, and help him to become a brave and leading young man, even if his nature isn't necessarily a leader, actually, our eldest is.
A natural leader, but I'm just saying like we'll look at our other boys and maybe they won't be natural born leaders, but they're gonna have to lead at some point.
And so equipping them to lead and like showing them the way more than just by example, but really like coming alongside of them and helping them find their way.
Until they truly are ready to spread their wings.
And then letting them know that the phone is always there and the arms are always open.
Yeah, you know, I just think of the God-given beauty of marriage and matrimony and that relationship.
And when done right, like, the man is meant to be the leader.
And I feel, or I think that in society...
You know, with the current culture, especially in America, a lot of that's been flipped upside down and disregarded, and it's not serving society, in my opinion.
I mean, from a mother's perspective, it's just knowing that, like, hey, like, you need to provide for your wife mentally, emotionally, and physically.
And what that looks like is this, this, this, and this.
And if she's reacting in certain ways, it's likely that you're not providing in one of those.
One of those key points.
And so being willing to problem solve as like a husband and, you know, to be honest, like it's because I've felt this in my own marriage and having to work through that with my husband and rather than like letting the the the rather than letting like the darkness tear us apart and pull us apart like Our faith has grown us closer.
We've had to work through some of our issues.
And just seeing him grow as the leader of our household has been really beautiful.
And so I'm very passionate about health because I recognize that, like, the common meme is, like, but first coffee.
But first, like, I need some me time to, like, survive this chaos.
But we're really not as resilient as we should be because our health isn't being supported in the way that it needs to be to be the best mother, to be the best wife, to be the best daughter in life.
And so first supporting yourself so that you can overcome the hardship that comes your way.
And so for me, like...
I'm not watching Netflix or TV or anything at bedtime.
I'm going to bed or I'm having a conversation with my husband.
So it's like the relationship and my health first before any entertainment.
Did you feel like, just to pause on this for a second, because I think it's a big thing, particularly for busy people, people with little kids, it's like, all right, the second they go to bed, I'm just going to zone out in my own world with Netflix or whatever.
I stopped because I felt like I needed to stop for my own, like, survival.
You know, I do try to find, you know, a 20-30 minute, sometimes hour and a half window for myself in the day, which that looks like surfing or getting a little movement or going on a walk or laying in my bed praying or doing something just by myself for a quick minute.
But there's like so much time that is wasted, whether it's scrolling on social media or watching TV. It's very consumeristic.
And I want to create, and I want to build and make beautiful.
And to me, consuming doesn't allow for that as much.
You know, when I'm consuming, I'm essentially not creating.
Every now and then, I like to sit down and watch alone.
And it's usually with my husband and sometimes with my children.
That's the one TV show we watch lately in the last year.
But otherwise, I'm not consuming.
And I am on social media, but I try to keep tabs on that and not let it overtake my life.
I have it.
Typically, I have it on a separate device.
Lately, I haven't because I broke my old device phone.
But I had to move it off my main phone device because I needed to control that time, so to say, spent not randomly scrolling when I didn't necessarily want to.
You know, kind of putting some boundaries there.
Because, yeah, it became an easy reflex to kill time and space.
And so I moved it to a separate device.
a game changer for me.
I know not everyone can just have a separate extra device, but if you can, and if it is stealing that much of your time, then maybe it's worth investing that extra little chunk if you aren't willing to give it up.
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So it sounds like when you said households are not intentional in the way that they make decisions live.
Yeah, it's almost like we're more reactive to life rather than proactive.
So reacting to what comes our way and just kind of reacting to the time and just doing what we have to do to kind of get by versus like planning and being proactive and saying no to certain things and saying...
You know, like choosing what comes in the household and how we use our time and how we converse with one another.
And, you know, I think of like the marriage as the foundation of the household.
And so being proactive in that relationship and like really working for that rather than letting time kind of turn it into this passive relationship that eventually fizzles out because we weren't proactive in it.
And so...
Yeah, it'd be fun if Adam was here.
He could speak to that in his own sense.
And I'm grateful to God for him every single day.
And we've had our own journey of growing and learning and becoming more proactive and working through our challenges.
One thing I'm struck by is you keep coming back to time, how you spend time.
and when you said that homeschooling can be done, a child can be educated to at least the standard of a public school in two hours, and then you said, but for most parents, just like send your kids to school, take them to sports, there's like a whole kind of program that families sign up for that they have no control over at there's like a whole kind of program that families sign up for that they have no control over at all that may or may not be good But you're instead figuring out how to spend the other 22 hours of the day with your kids.
That's a big change from the way most people live.
I think it's because, you know, I was like the last generation to not have social media for most of my childhood.
So I remember I got an Instagram about when I was 15 and I had this season where I was highly addicted to it.
I would be with all my friends and I would like randomly start scrolling and then I would try to show them stuff and they're like, we're having fun together, like we don't need that.
And so I was this last generation to, like, I grew up diving into the ocean and swimming with turtles and going surfing and playing kick the can in the yard and filming little movies on a camcorder that were, like, gory and we'd put ketchup on my left arm and, like, we were truly children, like...
Filming horror movies in our backyard because it was hilarious and funny and just being really creative.
And now I look at this generation and you'll be driving and you'll see kids on the side of the road hunched over looking at devices, waiting for their school bus.
Not full of life, not full of joy and beauty and passion and creativity, but rather being sent into this society realm that It's just passive.
It's being entertained.
It's being consumeristic.
It's just lacking this beauty in life that I really like.
I look back on my childhood and I love my childhood.
You know, I did grow up with amazing parents that, you know, they devoted a lot of time to me.
I loved my childhood, even the hardship that I faced.
It created me to be an overcomer, to be an adapter, to be someone who has to work through a challenge in a healthy way.
And I did figure that out, I would say, for the most part.
There's always things we have to unpack at some point or another.
But yeah, and now fast forward being a mom and I'm looking at this generation and it's just so vastly different.
I will say I would leave my house at 8 in the morning to go surf.
My brothers were gamers.
So I would leave the house and, like, go do a bunch of different things, and then I would come back, like, eight hours later, and, like, my brothers hadn't left their spot on the couch.
And that also had a huge impact on me.
I was like, what are you guys doing?
You literally haven't left the couch for, like, eight hours straight.
And I hated seeing that.
I think being, like, a nature lover and someone who, like, grew up in nature and, like...
Found my creativity in waves.
Granted, both my brothers were great ocean men as well.
They were, like, really talented on waves.
So it wasn't like they were so stuck to the gaming that they didn't go surf.
But I saw this, like, side that I just didn't like.
And I was like, there's no way I'm allowing that in my household as I grow up or as I'm raising my children because I want them to be creating.
I want them to just be super healthy.
I think, too, I have a unique perspective of being a former professional athlete, really having to push it physically and mentally, and knowing that I had to support that nutritionally and just through various avenues of health.
I now bring that into my household, and I'm like, if there's one area in your life as a parent...
To not be passive, it's like, well, actually, I don't think I can narrow it down to one thing, but it's like your faith and health.
At least give your children those two things because otherwise society will eat them up.
And there's so much junk out there that will take them over.
Well, I guess you have to go on the journey yourself first.
You have to be able to know what you believe.
You know, my parents encouraged me to know God at a young age in the Christian faith.
I mentioned earlier, after I lost my arm, I had a peace that I believe only God could have brought through that season, even though it felt chaotic and upside down and the most unimaginable thing happened to me.
And I'm a very rare human to have that circumstance.
But even in the chaos, I had a sense of peace that God was with me and He was not going to leave my side.
And I don't think that He ever did.
The way I worked through that season was so beautiful and so full of a confidence that I believe only God could have brought.
I'm thankful that, you know, my mom and dad weren't perfect, but they were there for me.
My mom would read the Psalms and Proverbs in particular because it's very inviting.
I like the Proverbs because it unpacks the wisdom of God.
Like, there's 31 Proverbs.
Y'all could read one Proverbs a day and it would be less than five minutes of your day.
Could you take five minutes of your day to, like, read God's Word?
But the Proverbs and Psalms was like one thing that my mom did read with me.
She would read that and pray with me at bedtime.
And that was such a blessing.
And I think that helped sprout my own faith, my own childlike faith that eventually grew into its own as I... Grew into an adult.
And now I want to give my children that so that if they have something like a shark attack in their life, they're going to be able to work through that with or without mama.
Like, they'll be able to survive the challenges of this world.
They'll be able to see through the lies that are being spoken on a daily basis in our society.
They'll be able to see through.
The lies that aren't going to serve them in their life.
And I believe that that's in God's Word, first and foremost.
And so, for me, it looks like praying with my children at bedtime and throughout the day.
And it's reading the Bible, and it's encouraging them in their faith and talking through philosophical ideas that, at the end of the day, you can look to God's Word and know what is truth.
I forget your original question, but how do you impart faith and health?
Yeah, and then too, just like praying for my children, because at the end of the day, it's not me who does their faith, it's God.
God will gift you that faith.
He will speak into your life.
And so, to me, the most important thing is to read God's Word, because that is the thing that will sharpen them and speak into their life, and it's ultimately.
The Lord says that that is His Word, and when we hear His Word, that can work and move in our hearts and minds.
And then when it comes to health, just living out a healthy lifestyle, teaching them what is good and what is not good.
My children know that we're not eating Red Dye 5 because it's not good for us, so they're choosing not to do that at 6 and 9 already.
And they know we still have treats, so it's not like they're so deprived that they're like...
Oh my gosh, I need the red dye five because I have this opportunity to have it.
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You can choose to live a certain lifestyle, you know, and I think...
The common thing in America, too, is we want to live above our means.
So figuring out what is your means and are you living within your means and what adaptations can you make so that you could make your dreams come true if you have certain dreams, so to say.
And if you choose to not go down that route, at least being intentional with the time that you do have with your children.
So when they come home from school, having that energy and that mental capability to be intentional, to give them eye contact, to give them that quality time.
I feel like specifically from junior high to high school, it's like the most pivotal years, besides obviously childhood's pretty pivotal.
And their worldviews are pretty formed very young.
But there's these pivotal years where parents get very little time with their children because they're in school, they're in sports.
Then they come home and they have homework and random chores, maybe.
And the parents barely get that time with their children.
Obviously, my children aren't in those years, but I'm thinking about those years and how I'm going to approach it, and I don't want it to be mundane or unintentional.
I want my husband to have quality time with his sons so that his sons have a good grasp on the world and what they're getting themselves into as they become adults.
Yeah, I mean, there's a lot out there, but I hope that they'll find a wife pretty young and be good leaders of their household.
I want to encourage them and help them find their way so that they can afford to be a husband and a provider.
So working with them to figure out what their talents are and what sort of work they could do to survive, and not just survive, but thrive.
And to say no to the temptations of the world and to respect women and to...
You know, choose a life that is honorable and just and not just go with the flow of like what society is currently at.
And I think as a male in particular, there's a lot of temptation around women and pornography and none of that really serves society.
It's become so normalized.
You know, you look, you know, I grew up in Hawaii and like it's the most uncovered.
Area of the world, like, people are literally walking around in close to nothing on a regular basis.
But I feel like now, young men in particular, it's like there's social media and it's just there's so many dark holes they can get caught up in.
And even gaming, like, I am really against gaming.
I haven't even really talked about that publicly, but there's no way I'm bringing that into my household.
Because I want my boys creating, becoming, like, building up their skills in life.
Like, I want them to have, you know, mentor, plumber, electrician, like, mechanic, have these basic skills so that they're not completely helpless when they, you know, start living on their own.
Like, just basic life skills that instead they could be gaming.
And where is that going to get them?
And then when they have to start living a real life and they run into challenge, what are they going to do?
Are they going to problem solve or are they going to just go zone out in gaming?
There's a lot of husbands that aren't showing up because they're busy gaming or pornographing.
And so equipping our boys to say no and to say yes to the good and beautiful things that they could be doing in life and to learn how to provide and serve and protect.
I mean, I've started to realize that in raising children of like trying to find good friends for my children and just like some of the boundaries that we are setting on behalf of our children and trying to like, you know, who can they play with?
What households are good for them to be in?
I think it's going to get even harder in the teenage years.
So why would you, like, hold back protecting them and helping serve and guide and lead them in a healthy direction?
I think of myself as super healthy and so, of course, I'm going to help lead and guide them along the way and not just let them hopefully float out there and figure it out.
But even to the extent of like, hey, you're invited to question me, son.
Question what I'm saying.
Question what your auntie or uncle is saying.
Ask questions and don't be so passive that...
Everything mama and dada says is, you know, the end all, say all.
So, to the extent of, like, yes, you respect your mother and father, but you're still allowed to ask questions and have your own opinion.
But, you know, I do see it in my nine-year-old how much he looks up to his dad and me and how he's willing to, like, He knows that when mama says, like, don't eat Red Dye 5, it's because she loves him and she's protecting him from eating these neurotoxins that will give him ADHD. And he doesn't have that currently, so we don't want him to get that.
But he could have it if he keeps eating those over and over and over again.
And so he trusts me in that.
I explain why.
I'm not just like...
Nope, you can't have that.
I explained why he can't have that and why I don't want him.
And you know what?
If he ate it once or twice a year, I'm not making a huge deal out of it.
I'm just like, hey, we're not bringing that into our household at least.
Oh, I mean, for me, it was actually a really easy one to navigate as a teenager because...
I think the way my mom might have talked about it, and then even in the public school, was like, I was highly athletic-driven, and so I could see that it was a common theme that people lost their drive in life with marijuana in particular.
And then even I've had a mother-daughter mentorship program, and one of our calls is focused on drugs.
And the coolest thing is we'll show the girls the brain without marijuana and alcohol, and the brain with, and they look very different.
Like, it's very noticeable how healthier, like, we had a brain specialist kind of explain the differences, and you could see it with your own eye.
And so that was really cool to me as an adult who's chosen not to, like...
Do marijuana or anything like that, but just talking about it from my perspective of health.
So that's why, you know, I said earlier, like, encouraging your children in faith and understanding health is so important.
And talking about, like, I talk about, hey, you know, if you go through a challenging season in your life, do you want to go to alcohol or do you want to go to God?
Like, what's going to be your strength?
What's going to serve you and your family?
Is alcohol going to serve your family or is God?
Like, what's going to lead you forward and help you to overcome and adopt and persevere through the challenges that will inevitably come your way?
Certainly not alcohol and drugs, which a lot of society is going to that because we essentially aren't happy with our life or we're looking for an outlet that...
It numbs some of the pain.
And so, you know, working with our children to face their hardship and to work through their pain and to have a plan for when that comes if they don't have any of that prior to leaving the household.
Like, having a good plan.
Like, what are you going to do when you face hardship?
Are you going to...
Go to these outlets or are you going to come back to mom and dad or someone who's respectable in your life to help you work through it?
Because there's certainly been seasons in my life where I'm like, why didn't I go to someone to help me through that?
And I tried to navigate it by myself and it sucked and it was hard and it was awful and I'm like, why didn't I ask for help?
I just, like, that's not what I want for my children.
I want them to go and ask someone for help.
Whether it's me or not, like, that's okay.
But I hope it's me.
And if it's not me, like, they're going to have a few other people in their life that I'm going to be like, this would be a great person.
If you don't, for some reason, don't feel comfortable talking to me, go to this person and, like, have them spend time with that person in their late teen years so that they have a relationship that's, you know, encouraging.
Why do you think, this is a pretty common human experience, but people have problems that they could probably sort out quickly if they articulated them in front of somebody else, but they don't.
Oh my gosh, I feel like there's a lot of reasons why, and I think, you know...
That's why earlier in our conversation I talked about working through some of my issues in motherhood is because, you know, I think sometimes we get closed in life or we aren't open to teaching or wisdom or, you know, respecting our elders.
It's almost like there's this untalked about level of being where...
We have pride and we just think we can do it ourselves.
And I feel like that's almost growing even more now with social media because they're like, oh, I can just Google what to do.
Rather than ask someone respectable in your life, like, hey, do you think this is a good life decision?
So, for me, I don't know, I'm kind of going about this answer in a long way, but...
I'm now asking three different people for advice if I have something that feels overwhelming or challenging.
I'm going to the three different people and trying to see if it will align for them, if their advice to me will align or, you know, like just having someone respectable to speak into my life over challenging subjects that feel like I need help in this area.
Yeah, and, you know, if it feels like something really hard, just not being afraid to ask for help.
And, you know, maybe there's this level of like...
That distancing in junior high and high school, where you're almost separating from your parents too early, and then you go off to college and adult life, and you're like, well, I don't really have that relationship with my mom and dad, so I'm not going to ask them for help.
Or we didn't work through some of our issues in that relationship through the high school years, and so there's not that level of like, you can come to me, I'm here for you, and I'll accept you no matter what the challenge is.
And so trying to keep that relationship open and just communicative so that when the real challenges come, there is an openness and, like, they'll be willing to ask for help.
And obviously there's different characters and, you know, I can see already, like, trying to raise the different characters in my children.
I'm like, they're very different and it's going to require, like, some problem solving or adaptability to their different...
Yeah, so I've always just had a heart for teenage girls, and maybe it's because of what I faced at such a young age.
Like, when I lost my arm, I was 13 years old, and it's such a pivotal season.
Going into those teenage years.
But then there was this one woman who would pick up my girlfriends and I and speak into our lives.
She mentored us and encouraged us in relationships in particular.
She equipped us to enter into the dating realm and to look for a husband in a healthy way.
And this woman wasn't super appealing, so to say.
I would say the fact that she brought chocolates.
Brought chocolate and, like, brought us to the beach was, like, the lure, so to say.
But she was willing to just show up and, like, even if she wasn't, like, super cool, you know, like, as a teenager, you're looking for those cool people to hang out with.
She wasn't, like, super cool, but she, like, spoke into her lives and she made the most of what she had and she made such an impact in my life.
And so, I just feel like I've been given a unique platform to speak into young people's lives.
I'm very passionate about, like, social media as well.
Like, the big thing I've noticed is the girls who, you know, I'm working with girls between, like, 9 to 18. And they're alongside of their mothers.
But the girls who are highly active on social media, like, you can just tell right away.
Like, they dress more promiscuous.
They're very aware of their being.
You know, they're very, like...
Aware of just how they look and how they carry themselves.
And it's almost like they've got something to prove.
They're trying to be cool or be accepted in a certain way.
And I really just noticed a vast difference in the girls that are active on social media and the girls that are not.
Definitely the girls that are not active on social media have less issues.
Yes, they have a lot less issues.
And yeah, it's definitely really interesting.
And there have been extreme cases where we've had some girls who are really struggling in their life and their mom's like, we've already done everything.
We've done counseling.
We've done like...
Drugs to try to calm them down or help them not be depressed, and it's just not working.
And so they're coming into this program like, let's just try it, you never know.
And I think there's just something about the community element and talking about the truth and the challenges of the world.
So we're talking about all these different topics, dating, drugs, conflict resolution, faith, all the different topics that I'm like...
Naturally passionate about and even health and stuff and just trying to equip the girls.
But at the end of the day, the young girls might be really excited to see Bethany as their mentor.
But the goal is not me.
It's their mom.
So their mom's coming in and doing it with their daughter.
And it's about that mother-daughter relationship.
Because I remind the girls, I'm like, hey girls, I'm not going to be there for you when the going gets rough.
But your mom is.
She's the one that will die for you and do whatever it takes to be there for you in your tough seasons.
And so maybe you don't see eye to eye with her on everything.
And maybe you have a little sandpaper of a relationship.
Your mom loves you so much.
And so it's just kind of about bringing back that family unit and making that be the focal point of the mentorship experience program.
And so it's just been, yeah, it's really interesting, though, to unpack, like, the difference in the children who are being exposed a lot more and then the ones who are not.
And to me, it feels a little devastating because I'm like, oh, I had such a good childhood.
You girls should be, like, adventuring in nature and filming, like, cute little, like, funny movies on a little camcorder.
And instead, we got, like, TikTok dancing and, like, just, like, endless media scrolling and TV watching.
And, you know, I don't want to be so negative because I know there's beautiful moments in everyone's lives, but...
I just feel like there's so much more to be had when we're creating and being artistic and letting our strengths and talents be used and pursuing the good and beautiful things in life and having really open, loving relationships and quality time.
One thing I'm working with my children is teaching them, I try to look in their eyes.
I've met a lot of people and it's like, we almost are losing eye contact, like something as simple as that, like trying to look people in the eye and starting in your own household.
Like once you start to be aware of it, you're like, whoa, like...
They haven't looked me in the eye today.
And so you have to, but I have to lead my children to be able to look me in the eye.
And so making sure I'm not so busy that I can't slow down and check them out and give them that eye contact that they deserve and that quality time.
So one thing I love to do with my six-year-old in particular, and he's super sweet, but he has this interesting personality that...
You know, it feels a little harder to get through to, and so one thing I like to do with him is play Rummy cards.
So, he's only six, and he's doing so amazing.
Like, he beats me all the time at Rummy, and, like, he'll be, like, calculating how much points he has versus how much points I have throughout the game.
And, like, this is, like, one way that I like to connect with him.
That is really sweet, and there's nothing else going on.
I mean, obviously, there's little Sissy trying to steal the cards, but for the most part, it's just him and me.
Phones set aside and it's just like him and I, my six-year-old, who actually can play cards really well and like he's doing math at the same time, but he's like connecting with mom.
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You know, like one thing, for example, like my children are looking out the window when we drive.
That's becoming more and more rare.
Like, children don't stare out the window.
They don't have that moment to be bored.
I'm like, I grew up staring out the window and looking at the clouds, like, and, like, looking for dead animals on the side of the road, you know?
This is, like, the life I had.
I'm like, you boys can do the same.
I'm not giving them my phone to entertain them while we drive, even if they're being a little fussy or whiny.
Like, it's just not an option.
Like, I don't allow that.
And so we'll turn on stories.
I'll let them pitch in.
Sometimes they get to pick the music.
So like my six-year-old, he either wants country music or he wants piano.
That's his top two choices.
And so I'll give them ownership sometimes like or take turns with sometimes we're listening to mama music.
Sometimes we're listening to baby music if the baby is fussing, and then sometimes we're listening to classical piano or a story on the podcast, audiobook.
And so that's an example of like, yeah, we're using technology, but we're not giving our phones to shush our children, so to say.
And it's interesting because...
It doesn't really ever cross my mind to need to quiet my children with a device because we just have things established and they're already doing their own thing.
Oh, we let them watch movies on long airplane rides and they're stoked and they're getting their movie time.
But then...
It makes them look forward to traveling, and I feel okay with that because it's like we're not consuming all the time, and it's not like the 20th movie they've watched this week.
But also, I would say a lot of people in Hawaii are spending, like, we live to live.
We don't work to live.
Like, we're all going to the beach as soon as we're not working.
Everyone's, like, checking the surf forecasts and scheduling their life around the surf forecasts.
I mean, if they can.
Sometimes, like, you gotta work when you gotta work.
But I feel like people in Hawaii, my friend actually brought this up the other day, like, we very much so live to live and we're going to, like, enjoy the sunset a lot and, like, you know, get out in nature because it's so easy to access out there.
We're at 11 years, and I would say the biggest thing in our relationship...
It's truly the grace of God and looking to God to be the author and finisher of our faith, to understand that His grace is sufficient for me.
And when I understand that, then I know His grace is sufficient for my husband.
And if God is sufficient for my husband, then that then leads me to be gracious on my husband and vice versa, him on me.
And that is the foundation of a healthy marriage.
And no matter what you're going to go through and how hard the seasons may be, you're going to be able to work through it because your foundation is not in yourself and your ability to be the perfect husband or wife, but your foundation is in the ability to trust in God.
Or not even the ability, but to allow God to work through your life.
To be loving towards all those people, but to everyone around you regardless of their views.
And so it's almost disregarding having an opinion or a worldview or, you know, a belief system.
It's like disregarding having any kind of like moral foundation and that you have to love and be accepting of whatever they want to do regardless of how destructive it may be.
And so, you know, to me, I think faithfulness is essential for a healthy society.
And yet, people don't want to embrace that.
They want to be free, so to say, and do whatever they want with whoever they want at any point in time in their life.
And what they don't understand is that that is painful in the long run.
To not have a relationship that is stable and faithful and committed and enduring, that is hard and that is painful.
And yet, society just wants to promote that as if it's a good, like, it's, you know, do whatever makes you happy in the moment.
And so, the way I view it is, like, to be unfaithful is not good.
It's not healthy.
It doesn't lead for, you know, confident children when their parents are, you know, breaking apart.
And, you know, maybe you have already, maybe you've already hit that point in life where you've split from your partner, it became unbearable, it was painful.
And I wouldn't go so far as to say like God's grace is not sufficient for you.
Like His grace can be sufficient for you no matter how awful things may be.
And He can work in your children's lives.
So I'm not like saying, you know, but I just think that if society can strive to be faithful, like that alone could flip society on its head to be more beautiful and more...
Just full of life and passion and purpose.
I think most of society, when they see a married couple who are in good relations with one another 50 years later, everyone's celebrating.
Everyone's cheering that on and in awe of that.
Because it is hard, and it is hard to make it that long, I think.
And it's already seen to be, you know, you look at the divorce rates, so to say, and it's super hard out there.
So, I feel like the last few years has been crazy, starting with 2020. I would say I was pretty passive when it came to, like, the worldviews, so to say.
Yeah, and so then 2020, 2021 hit and like all this craziness started happening and like you can kind of start to see through like what is actually going on here because I don't think it's as simple as a virus being, you know...
You know, I just started to realize, like, who I partner with and where I put my money matters.
And as a professional athlete, like, you're given all kinds of deals that, you know, could make you money, you know?
But they're not necessarily, like, good things, you know?
Like, for example, I've had a professional career in surfing, and I never took a deal with an energy drink.
Because I just don't believe in those.
And that was an area where I drew the line because I didn't think it was healthy and it's not something I want to promote to anyone, let alone children, who look up to me.
You know, I do drink coffee, so I might have promoted a little coffee drink here and there.
Yeah, I love coffee.
You know, but I'm promoting smoothies and I'm promoting like finding your fuel and energy and food and taking care of yourself and like just living a healthy lifestyle.
But fast forward 2020 and all that chaos hits and I'm like, what are we promoting?
And so I get this opportunity to, I get Brave Books emailing me and being like, hey, do you want to write a children's book with us?
And I'm like, oh yeah, let's go.
But this company is standing against a lot of the societal norms, and they're trying to build the family.
They're trying to build up children to have solid identities, to say no to the lies of the world, to be aware of the challenges that they're going to face as they grow about life.
And now I'm reading them to my children.
I'm like, this is the raddest book ever to be able to read my children to sleep.
So, for example, one of my favorite Brave books, besides my own, I mean, I like my book, but I'm just not like that.
But it's about this little boy who has to save his sister.
And he has to go on this crazy journey to find this ice flower.
And if he drips the little ice flower on her lips, she'll survive the...
The pokey that she stepped on that's going to poison her.
And so, he's having to, like, basically become a man and, like, save his little sister.
And it's, like, the sweetest little story.
And now my three-year-old's like, I'm going to go find an ice flower for my baby sister.
And it's, like, it's computing in his head, like, the life that he should live is to save the young woman in his life and to protect her and to, you know.
Face his fears on her behalf and he goes on this gnarly journey and he's crying at one point and it's just this rad little book.
I think it was called The Son of Truth.
No, no, it wasn't The Son of Truth, but that's another one that's really good too.
But anyway, I'm like, my agent's like, hey, are you sure you want to partner with this company?
Because when's all the big corporational sort of companies partnering with Brave Books, they're not likely going to want to...
It's a really sweet story inspiring children to overcome their fears.
And then about...
Nine months later, the World Surf League starts allowing males to compete in the female division, and I'm the only one walking off that cliff saying, no, like, this is not okay, and we're not about to allow males to compete against—I'm not about to have males competing against me willingly.
And that was a whole other just step of faith in that.
Maybe, like, a couple lesser-known, like, kind of, like, not very vocal girls.
I think there was a lot of women not for it, but the unfortunate thing was the World Surf League had all the...
Athletes say like, hey, you're not allowed to say anything deemed derogatory or negative towards the World Surf League, or we will fine you and disqualify you from competing.
And so that was like the contract they had signed the December prior to that year.
And they literally get an email.
They didn't even get a vocal warning like, hey, males are now allowed to compete in the female division as long as their hormones reach this certain level.
And they didn't even get a warning.
They just get an email in the inbox.
And I'm like, oh, no way.
This is not okay.
And I'm not for this.
And I think I lost some major deals that year.
I think I had had a deal on the table with Ford and that never happened.
And I think it was around that time when I was like, nope, I'm not for this.
Yeah, just this gnarliness or this new world religion that they're trying to shove down children's throats to make them more confused than ever.
And so Brave Books is inspiring families to speak into their children's lives.
Early on so that they can go into society and not be confused, not be hateful on themselves and, you know, reject their God-given beauties, but to embrace their God-given talents and the person that they've been formed to be.
And I feel like this new world religion is like, oh, just be whatever you want, flow whatever direction you want.
It really doesn't lead to happiness.
It leads to despair and darkness.
And, you know, you can even look at the statistics and know that, you know, some of these people that are choosing to amputate their body parts are not healthy and they're regretting their decisions and they're taking hormones that essentially make them get disease earlier on in life than they should.
And I'm like, we're cheering this on because they just feel like they want to be different than they actually are.
Like, I have one arm.
I would never wish that on anyone.
Like, why would you amputate perfectly good body parts just to look a certain way?
Like, it doesn't make sense to look and be a certain way and, like, to do such extreme measures.
And yet society is like, woohoo, let's go!
Granted, I think after I spoke out against males in female sports, I think the majority of society is like, nope, this ain't okay.
But they just might not be voicing their opinions.
Yeah, I mean, I would say the athletes are incredible and I would like highly...
I highly celebrate the athleticism and the hard work of these athletes, but the organization behind is definitely not serving the athletes to the best of its ability, and it's not looking at the realities of a male competing against a female.
It's just simply not fair and should never be okay.
So I wanted to end on something that we were talking about off-camera that I thought was so cool and revealing.
We're talking about social media.
One of my daughters is a huge fan of yours, so she was showing me her social media last night.
I don't actually have the app, Instagram, but she's showing me this.
So cool.
And she was saying, this woman has the most beautiful children I've ever seen.
So we were talking about social media this morning, and you were saying what you just said on camera, which is that you really notice its effects on young women.
But you've chosen to put your own children in some of your pictures and videos for a very specific reason that I want you to explain because I thought it was just wonderful.
Yeah, I mean, I've gone back and forth on like, do I share my family life on social media or not?
And I just, from my perspective, like, I want to inspire the next generation to embrace and look forward to motherhood.
There are people that I follow that make me just look forward to waking up to my children every day.
They have a really positive outlook on motherhood.
They inspire me to be the best mother I can be.
And they're not hiding their family life, so to say.
And so there is this kind of balance that a lot of people will just refuse to show family.
But I really want to inspire this next generation.
And I think, like, so many people have gotten so many messages of, like, your family is so beautiful.
Like, I want to be a mom someday.
And, like, that to me is, like, so encouraging.
And I just want people to know that motherhood is a blessing.
And to be a mom is one of the greatest roles in life.
And I feel like there's a big movement that is against that right now.
And it's, you know, there's a lot of memeing around.
Oh, I just can't wait to go to bed.
Can't wait to like silence the children.
Like just kind of like frustrations over like motherhood.
And I want to just encourage women to know that motherhood is such a blessing and that children are, you know, like that is the high of my day.
I go to bed and even if I had an amazing day aside from them.
Like, they are my highlight.
They are the thing that I'm thinking about when I go to bed.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.
Even on the rough days, I'm like, there's always that sweet moment that I am, like, thinking about how my three-year-old came and gave me a big hug and kiss when I came back from surfing or something like that.
And he was the highlight of my two-hour window.
Like, it wasn't the surfing by myself.
It was like the coming home and getting a big hug and kiss from my three-year-old.
And so I'm hoping to inspire this next generation to know that motherhood is such a gift and to look forward to that because it's such a blessing.