Liz, Bracey, Young Chomsky, and Truan dive into the Jeffrey Epstein birthday book scandal—packed with explicit Trump sketches (including a pubic hair drawing) and an amputee reference—while mocking its absurdity. Trump’s $10B lawsuit against Murdoch over a fake Epstein letter clashes with JD Vance’s denial, sparking jokes about Trump’s alleged sexual appeal vs. Jerry Seinfeld’s "no-sex" mystique. The segment also tangents into copyright battles over "Happy Birthday" and Trump’s legal name twist, exposing how the Epstein saga blurs satire, lawsuits, and tabloid chaos. [Automatically generated summary]
When's the wait, we haven't done the sirens in a long time, have we?
We've had various sirens of late.
Do we have can we have a different siren?
Unleash our most classic sirens, if you will.
Or no, let's get a modern siren.
Oh, like a European-style one.
That doesn't work.
No, no, something a bit more contemporary.
You know what?
Do the European-style one for about 15 seconds.
Maybe like an avant-garde one.
Yeah.
One that you don't hear so much.
One they might have in like Slovakia.
Yeah.
In the 70s.
Yeah.
Okay. Greetings.
Hello, everyone.
Happy birthday.
Oh, happy birthday.
You know, I was trying to think of all the birthday songs that we could kind of play.
How many are there?
You know, there's more than you'd think.
Well, there's a lot because obviously, as everyone knows, happy birthday is copywritten.
Or maybe it's not anymore.
Like, I don't know.
Maybe that's GPT.
But so every time they sing it in a show, it's like, happy birthday to you.
Oh, yeah, they do like a weird thing.
We have an emergency episode.
I was just thinking about two chains.
Yes, but before we talk about that, I'm Liz.
My name is Brace.
I'm producer Young Chomsky.
And this is Truan.
Hello.
Hello.
So we had a different episode planned, but that is crumpled up in the trash.
You'll never hear it.
You'll never hear it.
Best Episode Ever00:03:11
It's going to be burned.
And it was our best episode.
It was our best episode.
It was so good.
It was so good that I was like, oh my God, this is going to, we're finally going to break through.
Well, not only that.
Bracey's going on rogue.
Yes.
Bracey on rogue, but this was it.
We had one big score and we were going to retire.
We had the best episode of our lives.
We were back in the game for one last round.
And they brought us back.
They brought the episode.
We were so ready and everything went according to the plan.
We were out and then, you know what?
They dragged us back in.
The birthday book.
The birthday book.
It's your birthday.
This is kind of, I feel like this is what the Seinfeld episode on Seinfeld's friendship with Epstein would have been called.
Do you know how fucked up it is that we don't have a Seinfeld episode about Epstein?
I mean, George is kind of an Epstein-like figure.
George?
Yeah.
Jerry.
Jerry?
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, George gets way more laid than Jerry.
What?
I don't think Jerry fucks.
Have you seen Seinfeld?
I have.
How much of Seinfeld have you seen?
I've seen his penis.
I've seen the entire thing.
100%.
That is the crazy.
You have said so many crazy things on this show, and that might be.
George gets more pussy than Jerry.
That is not true.
I would say that sex for sex, George is in the lead.
No.
I don't think Jerry brings it home a lot.
It's always home.
That's like part of the show.
He brings them home, but they're fully dressed in the kitchen.
That's because they've been undressed off screen.
They don't go hang out in your kitchen after, Liz.
They say they're going to the bathroom and then you wait for them for 20 minutes.
They're always having serious.
Do you think she's taking a shit or doing something funky with the Diva Cup?
And then you walk out and she is gone.
They didn't have those back in the early 90s.
They just used clay ones.
Diva Cup's probably the original.
We are talking about the Epstein birthday book has been released.
Donald Trump's signature pubic care on a very noticeably unendowed in the breast department or the arm department.
Well, that could be, it's art, you know.
I was a little surprised they drew this stuff.
It's an amputee.
They drew stuff.
It's an amputee.
Let's just call it what it is.
As everybody knows, as I'm sure you're following on the docket, Donald J. Trump, our president of the United States, is suing Rupert Murdoch and the Wall Street Journal for what?
Is it $10 billion?
I don't fucking know.
It's a fake amount of money.
Yeah, it's a total Dr. Evil.
Like, I'm going to just say something crazy.
And because the Wall Street Journal published a story saying that they had seen a copy of a letter written by the President of the United States, Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump.
Yes.
To Jeffrey Epstein.
Jeffrey Donald Trump Epstein.
And that it was in a birthday book.
And Donald Trump bafflingly came out and said that it is entirely fake.