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Sept. 9, 2024 - True Anon Truth Feed
04:58
[PREVIEW] Episode 403: Guard Card
# ubergruppenführer truanon security_officer_brace dark_comedy franzak general_boobs general_pussy general_young_chomsky group_dynamics humor_creation lieutenant_brace liz private_browsing

Lieutenant Brace—later corrected to Security Officer Brace—and her Truanon crew, including General Young Chomsky (self-proclaimed Supreme Commander and Ubergruppenführer) and Franzak, kick off the episode with a darkly comedic survivalist debate where self-preservation trumps morality. The tone shifts abruptly to Liz’s absurd joke about "general boobs," a punchline she perfected after rejecting "General Pussy" for its lack of equivalence to "major hotties." The segment blends brutal honesty with surreal humor, exposing the group’s dynamic as equal parts cynical and playful, where even survivalist logic bends into farce. [Automatically generated summary]

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Would You Betray? 00:01:16
Put those away.
No.
I'll actually, I'll just keep them handy.
Liz, my fair maiden.
Don't call me that.
Okay.
Maiden.
We'll drop the fair.
Liz, my unfair maiden.
There are some bad fucking people in this world.
People who want to hurt other people.
People want to hurt both of you.
You know, I try to live my life.
I can't even do it.
I wouldn't protect you.
I would throw you to the wolf.
I know you would.
If someone came in here with a gun and was like, I'm going to shoot one person, you'd be like, them first.
There's two others here.
That's great.
Who wants to shoot me?
You wouldn't even be able to get it out because you'd be running the opposite way out the back entrance.
What I would try to do is I would try to make him seem like I'm joining him.
Like, I would pick something up and start threatening him.
And you'd be like, good idea.
Yeah.
Let me, you know, I'll take this one.
You take that one.
Exactly.
Oh, I'll take the rap.
I'll take the rap.
No, even if the cops come, I'll say, I did it.
I'll say I'll do it.
But nonetheless.
But then, of course, you would double cross him, take him out, save us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
That's where you were going with that.
So what I would do is I would pretend like I was being like, take them.
General Boobs Joke 00:03:41
That's right.
And I would be like, kill them, please, first.
Or just, you know, one and done.
But what I'd actually do is I'd let me hold a gun.
You look fucking cool.
And then I would shoot him.
And I would stop shooting.
Hello, everyone.
Hello, hello, hello.
I'm Liz.
My name is Lieutenant Brace.
And what rank should I be?
Mall Cop.
My name is Security Officer Brace.
We have with us, of course, General Young Chomsky.
And the podcast is.
Oh, what's my rank?
Supreme Commander, obviously.
Supreme Commander.
Thank you.
Ubergruppenführer.
Franzak, last one, I promise, ever.
And we're called Truanon.
Hello.
Hello.
You know what we should mention?
What?
Fuck, I can't remember how we finished it.
So I mentioned a while ago on the podcast that I had a dream about a joke that I couldn't finish.
And you finished it for me.
I finished it for you.
I can't remember the finished show.
Do you remember it?
Yes.
So I had a dream when we were in LA.
It's a really good punchline.
Yeah.
And the dream fully came, I wrote this in my notes app.
Was it takes a small army to help me jack off?
Private browsing, major hotties, and general.
And I spent a long time and a lot of, I had a lot of consultations with people from all parts of society trying to figure out how to finish.
And no one could finish the joke except for who, Bryce Belden?
Except for Liz Franzak.
That's right.
So what is the joke again, and then I'll come in with the whole thing.
You don't want to say the whole thing?
No, no, no.
No, you do the, and I'll come in.
It takes a small army to help me jack off.
Private browsing, major hotties, and general boobs.
General boobs and general boobs.
General boobs.
General Boobs is good.
General Boobs is good.
It's so good.
General Boobs is good.
And I was thinking too hard.
Yeah, you're trying to be all clever.
And you know what?
That's what makes it funny because it's already sort of clever.
And you're like, where's this going?
And you hit him with the boobs.
General Boobs.
General Boobs.
And General Boobs.
It takes a small army to help me jack off.
Private browsing, major hotties, and general boobs.
General Boobs.
Because you know, I thought this is funny.
A general named boobs.
A general named boobs.
Well, so I had thought I had it, I thought I had it licked.
Well, actually, wow, little slip there.
Especially with this.
I thought I had it solved because I had come up with General Pussy.
I hate that.
But yeah, people did not like it.
General Boobs is much more like more in line.
It's funny.
It lets you laugh.
It feels equivalent to hotties.
It doesn't feel laughed.
No, no, it's totally left field.
It's like a different category.
It lets you laugh at the joke.
It lets you laugh at the joke.
It's sort of like the opposite of specific boobs.
It's just like General Boobs.
Which is, I don't really care about any part of a woman's body.
On many levels.
Also, the idea of a general named boobs is very funny.
Yeah.
I mostly care about the mandula ablingata and the thoughts in the frontal lobe.
Anyway, just want to say, yes, it was me, of course, as always, finishing and perfecting Brace's joke.
That's why we like to do it here.
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