True Anon Truth Feed - [PREVIEW] Episode 403: Guard Card Aired: 2024-09-09 Duration: 04:58 === Would You Betray? (01:16) === [00:00:00] Put those away. [00:00:01] No. [00:00:02] I'll actually, I'll just keep them handy. [00:00:04] Liz, my fair maiden. [00:00:08] Don't call me that. [00:00:09] Okay. [00:00:10] Maiden. [00:00:12] We'll drop the fair. [00:00:14] Liz, my unfair maiden. [00:00:17] There are some bad fucking people in this world. [00:00:21] People who want to hurt other people. [00:00:24] People want to hurt both of you. [00:00:27] You know, I try to live my life. [00:00:29] I can't even do it. [00:00:30] I wouldn't protect you. [00:00:31] I would throw you to the wolf. [00:00:33] I know you would. [00:00:33] If someone came in here with a gun and was like, I'm going to shoot one person, you'd be like, them first. [00:00:37] There's two others here. [00:00:40] That's great. [00:00:41] Who wants to shoot me? [00:00:41] You wouldn't even be able to get it out because you'd be running the opposite way out the back entrance. [00:00:46] What I would try to do is I would try to make him seem like I'm joining him. [00:00:49] Like, I would pick something up and start threatening him. [00:00:51] And you'd be like, good idea. [00:00:52] Yeah. [00:00:53] Let me, you know, I'll take this one. [00:00:54] You take that one. [00:00:55] Exactly. [00:00:56] Oh, I'll take the rap. [00:00:56] I'll take the rap. [00:00:57] No, even if the cops come, I'll say, I did it. [00:00:59] I'll say I'll do it. [00:01:01] But nonetheless. [00:01:02] But then, of course, you would double cross him, take him out, save us. [00:01:09] Yeah. [00:01:10] Yeah. [00:01:10] No. [00:01:11] That's where you were going with that. [00:01:12] So what I would do is I would pretend like I was being like, take them. === General Boobs Joke (03:41) === [00:01:16] That's right. [00:01:17] And I would be like, kill them, please, first. [00:01:21] Or just, you know, one and done. [00:01:24] But what I'd actually do is I'd let me hold a gun. [00:01:26] You look fucking cool. [00:01:27] And then I would shoot him. [00:01:29] And I would stop shooting. [00:01:48] Hello, everyone. [00:02:02] Hello, hello, hello. [00:02:03] I'm Liz. [00:02:04] My name is Lieutenant Brace. [00:02:08] And what rank should I be? [00:02:10] Mall Cop. [00:02:12] My name is Security Officer Brace. [00:02:16] We have with us, of course, General Young Chomsky. [00:02:18] And the podcast is. [00:02:19] Oh, what's my rank? [00:02:21] Supreme Commander, obviously. [00:02:23] Supreme Commander. [00:02:23] Thank you. [00:02:24] Ubergruppenführer. [00:02:25] Franzak, last one, I promise, ever. [00:02:29] And we're called Truanon. [00:02:31] Hello. [00:02:32] Hello. [00:02:32] You know what we should mention? [00:02:33] What? [00:02:34] Fuck, I can't remember how we finished it. [00:02:36] So I mentioned a while ago on the podcast that I had a dream about a joke that I couldn't finish. [00:02:41] And you finished it for me. [00:02:42] I finished it for you. [00:02:43] I can't remember the finished show. [00:02:45] Do you remember it? [00:02:46] Yes. [00:02:47] So I had a dream when we were in LA. [00:02:51] It's a really good punchline. [00:02:53] Yeah. [00:02:54] And the dream fully came, I wrote this in my notes app. [00:02:58] Was it takes a small army to help me jack off? [00:03:02] Private browsing, major hotties, and general. [00:03:08] And I spent a long time and a lot of, I had a lot of consultations with people from all parts of society trying to figure out how to finish. [00:03:16] And no one could finish the joke except for who, Bryce Belden? [00:03:20] Except for Liz Franzak. [00:03:22] That's right. [00:03:22] So what is the joke again, and then I'll come in with the whole thing. [00:03:26] You don't want to say the whole thing? [00:03:27] No, no, no. [00:03:29] No, you do the, and I'll come in. [00:03:30] It takes a small army to help me jack off. [00:03:33] Private browsing, major hotties, and general boobs. [00:03:39] General boobs and general boobs. [00:03:41] General boobs. [00:03:41] General Boobs is good. [00:03:43] General Boobs is good. [00:03:44] It's so good. [00:03:44] General Boobs is good. [00:03:45] And I was thinking too hard. [00:03:47] Yeah, you're trying to be all clever. [00:03:48] And you know what? [00:03:49] That's what makes it funny because it's already sort of clever. [00:03:51] And you're like, where's this going? [00:03:52] And you hit him with the boobs. [00:03:53] General Boobs. [00:03:54] General Boobs. [00:03:55] And General Boobs. [00:03:56] It takes a small army to help me jack off. [00:03:58] Private browsing, major hotties, and general boobs. [00:04:03] General Boobs. [00:04:04] Because you know, I thought this is funny. [00:04:06] A general named boobs. [00:04:07] A general named boobs. [00:04:08] Well, so I had thought I had it, I thought I had it licked. [00:04:12] Well, actually, wow, little slip there. [00:04:16] Especially with this. [00:04:16] I thought I had it solved because I had come up with General Pussy. [00:04:20] I hate that. [00:04:21] But yeah, people did not like it. [00:04:23] General Boobs is much more like more in line. [00:04:26] It's funny. [00:04:26] It lets you laugh. [00:04:27] It feels equivalent to hotties. [00:04:29] It doesn't feel laughed. [00:04:29] No, no, it's totally left field. [00:04:31] It's like a different category. [00:04:32] It lets you laugh at the joke. [00:04:33] It lets you laugh at the joke. [00:04:34] It's sort of like the opposite of specific boobs. [00:04:36] It's just like General Boobs. [00:04:38] Which is, I don't really care about any part of a woman's body. [00:04:41] On many levels. [00:04:42] Also, the idea of a general named boobs is very funny. [00:04:45] Yeah. [00:04:45] I mostly care about the mandula ablingata and the thoughts in the frontal lobe. [00:04:50] Anyway, just want to say, yes, it was me, of course, as always, finishing and perfecting Brace's joke. [00:04:57] That's why we like to do it here.