Episode 394 spirals from a bizarre veggie rant—mocking tofu, dismissing bok choy’s water content, and praising kale—into a "Defend Joe Biden" shirt joke that pivots to death threats, then explodes into paranoia over election merch privacy and insomnia-fueled medical distrust, where needles are banned but East Meets West medicine lingers as a half-hearted escape. The chaos reveals how far online rage and personal anxiety collide when even vegetables become battlegrounds for control. [Automatically generated summary]
And not one of those weird Japanese ones that Olivia Munn says is what caused her face to look nice as opposed to what we all know, which was Botox.
I guess I'd probably be...
I'm probably an upper bluff.
What's that?
I hate bok choy.
I don't like it.
I fucking hate bok choy.
Why?
Because of the water content?
Too much.
Very wet.
One of the wettest vegetables.
You got to really not cook it for that long.
I don't cook it at all, quite frankly.
Okay.
But I don't like it.
It's too much to eat.
Now, if you want to talk about that, I mean, that's the issue with spinach.
You don't like spinach.
No, I like spinach, but the thing is, you have to buy so much of it because you get so little.
So little.
Yeah.
So little.
That is true.
I do eat a lot of spinach, though.
I eat a lot of chard.
I do.
Yeah, I bet.
I can tell.
Wait, I don't get it.
It don't matter.
You eat a lot of chard.
I eat a lot of...
What is that?
What's wrong with that?
I wake up every day and have two wheatgrass shots.
I love a leafy green, a dark leafy green.
Just good for you.
What other dark?
Kale?
Yeah.
I still eat kale.
Like, it's fucking 2009.
Well, it's true because you are wearing a shirt that says kale versus everybody.
Yeah, it's actually kale, but in the font for Yale.
East Meets West00:02:43
Yes.
Oh, you also.
The tote bag seems to have a Defend Kale with an AK-47 in the middle of it.
Are you sad we can't do those Defend Joe Biden shirts?
Ladies and gentlemen, I thought I had a million dollar idea for us to sell Defend Joe Biden shirts with a gun on them when we go to the convention in August.
And now, I guess we could still sell them, but it seems like a pointless.
I'm sure we could do something.
We could definitely do something.
R.I.P. Joe Biden.
He's dead.
I mean, might be.
He genuinely might be.
Although by the time this comes out, I bet there's proof of life.
I don't know.
Yeah, me either.
You might be thinking, well, Trudeau, what about your election cover?
It's coming.
Okay.
We're in the middle of a apparently four-part series.
Here's the thing: it's none of your business.
It's none of your business.
It's my personal life.
It's none of your business how we do things around here.
I just don't understand why you guys have to get involved in our personal lives.
Which is, yes, which this podcast is a part of.
I do this in my life as a person.
Yeah.
I just don't think.
It is quite personal to me.
Absolutely.
And you know what?
More than that, it's our lives.
It's our fucking lives.
That's your cue to get out of my business.
It makes me feel anxious when you ask about things.
It makes me feel anxious.
And you don't want me to feel anxious, do you?
I feel anxious all the time.
Guess what time I went to sleep last night or fell asleep last night?
Just get, no, give me a number.
I don't know.
4:30.
Precisely that.
See, look at that.
I fell asleep at 430.
Who listens to women?
Liz Francis.
Isn't that fucking crazy?
This bitch across from me.
I was in bed since one.
That sucks.
Three and a half hours.
Yeah, you got to see someone about that.
Been saying that for about, oh, what is that?
About five years now.
Liz, they are going to tell me to take medication.
I take that medication.
No, go to a different kind of doctor.
What the fuck does that mean?
Go to like an actual East.
Don't go to a doctor that is just going to shove pills down your throat.
They make them different nowadays.
Oh, they're like, oh, do like, they want me to.
They do a little East Meets West, which you have said you liked.
I get East Meets West.
And yet, not in medicine.
I blew the mic there.
Yet, not in medicine.
The most classic place for where East meets West.
That is true.
I do not fuck around with Chinese herbs and supplements whatsoever.
You think I should?
Well, I think you should not do it yourself.
Why not?
No, because you should go see someone.
Like a witch doctor.
Well, I don't call them that.
Well, I should think I should, like acupuncture, you think?