True Anon Truth Feed - [PREVIEW] Episode 394: Lawyers, Guns, and Tummies: Tribal Thumb Pt. 3
Aired: 2024-07-24
Duration: 04:59


=== What Vegetable Would You Be? (02:15) ===

[00:00:00]  If you were a vegetable, what would you be?
[00:00:01]  Tofufurki.
[00:00:02]  That's not what?
[00:00:03]  I'd be a tofufurky.
[00:00:05]  Or I'd be one of those crazy.
[00:00:06]  I'd be a mock duck.
[00:00:08]  No, a vegetable.
[00:00:10]  That's a type of what?
[00:00:12]  What?
[00:00:12]  Do they serve vegetarian restaurants?
[00:00:14]  No, that's not what I asked.
[00:00:17]  Why don't you listen to women?
[00:00:19]  I do listen to women.
[00:00:20]  You do.
[00:00:20]  You don't listen to women.
[00:00:21]  What are you talking about?
[00:00:22]  What do you think I'm doing outside their houses?
[00:00:48]  Let me turn that around on you.
[00:00:49]  What vegetable would you be?
[00:00:52]  No one's ever asked me that before.
[00:00:54]  I'm going to say a sweet potato.
[00:00:57]  Sweet potato?
[00:00:58]  Yeah.
[00:00:58]  And not one of those weird Japanese ones that Olivia Munn says is what caused her face to look nice as opposed to what we all know, which was Botox.
[00:01:07]  I guess I'd probably be...
[00:01:09]  I'm probably an upper bluff.
[00:01:11]  What's that?
[00:01:11]  I hate bok choy.
[00:01:13]  I don't like it.
[00:01:14]  I fucking hate bok choy.
[00:01:15]  Why?
[00:01:16]  Because of the water content?
[00:01:17]  Too much.
[00:01:17]  Very wet.
[00:01:19]  One of the wettest vegetables.
[00:01:20]  You got to really not cook it for that long.
[00:01:22]  I don't cook it at all, quite frankly.
[00:01:24]  Okay.
[00:01:25]  But I don't like it.
[00:01:26]  It's too much to eat.
[00:01:27]  Now, if you want to talk about that, I mean, that's the issue with spinach.
[00:01:31]  You don't like spinach.
[00:01:32]  No, I like spinach, but the thing is, you have to buy so much of it because you get so little.
[00:01:36]  So little.
[00:01:37]  Yeah.
[00:01:37]  So little.
[00:01:38]  That is true.
[00:01:38]  I do eat a lot of spinach, though.
[00:01:40]  I eat a lot of chard.
[00:01:43]  I do.
[00:01:44]  Yeah, I bet.
[00:01:46]  I can tell.
[00:01:48]  Wait, I don't get it.
[00:01:49]  It don't matter.
[00:01:50]  You eat a lot of chard.
[00:01:52]  I eat a lot of...
[00:01:52]  What is that?
[00:01:53]  What's wrong with that?
[00:01:55]  I wake up every day and have two wheatgrass shots.
[00:01:58]  I love a leafy green, a dark leafy green.
[00:02:01]  Just good for you.
[00:02:01]  What other dark?
[00:02:02]  Kale?
[00:02:03]  Yeah.
[00:02:04]  I still eat kale.
[00:02:05]  Like, it's fucking 2009.
[00:02:07]  Well, it's true because you are wearing a shirt that says kale versus everybody.
[00:02:11]  Yeah, it's actually kale, but in the font for Yale.

=== East Meets West (02:43) ===

[00:02:15]  Yes.
[00:02:15]  Oh, you also.
[00:02:17]  The tote bag seems to have a Defend Kale with an AK-47 in the middle of it.
[00:02:22]  Are you sad we can't do those Defend Joe Biden shirts?
[00:02:25]  Ladies and gentlemen, I thought I had a million dollar idea for us to sell Defend Joe Biden shirts with a gun on them when we go to the convention in August.
[00:02:33]  And now, I guess we could still sell them, but it seems like a pointless.
[00:02:37]  I'm sure we could do something.
[00:02:39]  We could definitely do something.
[00:02:40]  R.I.P. Joe Biden.
[00:02:42]  He's dead.
[00:02:43]  I mean, might be.
[00:02:45]  He genuinely might be.
[00:02:46]  Although by the time this comes out, I bet there's proof of life.
[00:02:50]  I don't know.
[00:02:51]  Yeah, me either.
[00:02:52]  You might be thinking, well, Trudeau, what about your election cover?
[00:02:55]  It's coming.
[00:02:55]  Okay.
[00:02:56]  We're in the middle of a apparently four-part series.
[00:02:59]  Here's the thing: it's none of your business.
[00:03:01]  It's none of your business.
[00:03:03]  It's my personal life.
[00:03:04]  It's none of your business how we do things around here.
[00:03:08]  I just don't understand why you guys have to get involved in our personal lives.
[00:03:11]  Which is, yes, which this podcast is a part of.
[00:03:14]  I do this in my life as a person.
[00:03:16]  Yeah.
[00:03:17]  I just don't think.
[00:03:18]  It is quite personal to me.
[00:03:20]  Absolutely.
[00:03:20]  And you know what?
[00:03:21]  More than that, it's our lives.
[00:03:23]  It's our fucking lives.
[00:03:25]  That's your cue to get out of my business.
[00:03:28]  It makes me feel anxious when you ask about things.
[00:03:31]  It makes me feel anxious.
[00:03:32]  And you don't want me to feel anxious, do you?
[00:03:35]  I feel anxious all the time.
[00:03:38]  Guess what time I went to sleep last night or fell asleep last night?
[00:03:41]  Just get, no, give me a number.
[00:03:42]  I don't know.
[00:03:43]  4:30.
[00:03:44]  Precisely that.
[00:03:45]  See, look at that.
[00:03:46]  I fell asleep at 430.
[00:03:47]  Who listens to women?
[00:03:48]  Liz Francis.
[00:03:49]  Isn't that fucking crazy?
[00:03:50]  This bitch across from me.
[00:03:51]  I was in bed since one.
[00:03:54]  That sucks.
[00:03:55]  Three and a half hours.
[00:03:56]  Yeah, you got to see someone about that.
[00:03:57]  Been saying that for about, oh, what is that?
[00:04:00]  About five years now.
[00:04:02]  Liz, they are going to tell me to take medication.
[00:04:06]  I take that medication.
[00:04:07]  No, go to a different kind of doctor.
[00:04:09]  What the fuck does that mean?
[00:04:11]  Go to like an actual East.
[00:04:13]  Don't go to a doctor that is just going to shove pills down your throat.
[00:04:16]  They make them different nowadays.
[00:04:18]  Oh, they're like, oh, do like, they want me to.
[00:04:22]  They do a little East Meets West, which you have said you liked.
[00:04:26]  I get East Meets West.
[00:04:27]  And yet, not in medicine.
[00:04:28]  I blew the mic there.
[00:04:29]  Yet, not in medicine.
[00:04:31]  The most classic place for where East meets West.
[00:04:34]  That is true.
[00:04:35]  I do not fuck around with Chinese herbs and supplements whatsoever.
[00:04:38]  You think I should?
[00:04:39]  Well, I think you should not do it yourself.
[00:04:42]  Why not?
[00:04:43]  No, because you should go see someone.
[00:04:45]  Like a witch doctor.
[00:04:47]  Well, I don't call them that.
[00:04:49]  Well, I should think I should, like acupuncture, you think?
[00:04:51]  I did acupuncture witch.
[00:04:52]  I did not like it.
[00:04:53]  Really?
[00:04:54]  Why?
[00:04:54]  It made me feel uncomfortable.
[00:04:56]  During or after?
[00:04:57]  During.
[00:04:58]  Because of tiny needles?