Liz—nicknamed "Bryce" and "The Yorkshire Pudding"—reveals her late-in-life sexual awakening after kissing Megan Markle in England, defying family pressure (including the Queen) to stay despite confusing Montecito for Spain. Their $20M Spotify deal for Archetypes with Harry and Megan pivots to chaotic behind-the-scenes moments: Liz sick in a dressing gown at Truinon while Harry arrives with a bloodstained handkerchief, all while mocking Braveheart as "Scottish elves" and musing on childhood fantasy races. The episode blends personal rebellion with media satire, exposing the absurdity of royal life through dark humor. [Automatically generated summary]
The first time I saw me, Tojo, it was like looking at one of them gods outside of Granny's palace, all tall and erect, unmoving, unflappable, a large crimson shaft topped off by a jet black hat all covered in fur.
But for me, my God was a god without a mission.
He had no one to protect until I met me, Megan.
And I snogged her.
And I looked at a minge and I kissed her on the lips.
But me mum, me, well, me mum passed, me gran, me da, me non's uncle.
They all say, that American actress, what's she in?
What's she, what, I've never even seen her.
Is she in succession?
And I said, no, she's in suits.
And they're like, what is that?
And I say, I don't know.
I thought it was like billions.
But then I looked it up when I was reading this book and I realized it's a different show.
And they said, you must leave.
You must leave England.
And I said, I'll never leave England.
Everything I do is for England.
And Megan, she took me aside and she said in her American voice, she said, Harry, you're the most handsome ginger in the ginger pile.
Come with me to Montecito.
And I said, I never heard of that.
Is that somewhere in Spain or elsewhere in the Iberian Peninsula?
She said, no, it's in California, Harry.
And so I said goodbye to me, Paul, my grandmom, the queen, and me nonce uncle.
And I headed out to Montecito and I met a beautiful woman named Oprah.
Well, you know the rest.
You've never seen Liz shake her head like she just shook her head.
I thought you were going to transition into Braveheart and I got very excited.
I can't do accents.
No, not the accent, the speech.
I've never seen Braveheart.
What?
Yeah.
It's one of those movies.
Here's my thing about movies.
I don't want to get, I don't want to become a movie.
I would say this.
Braveheart is one of those movies that's like, he's sort of just like, it's like a stall saying.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, it was parodied in so many children's cartoons that I watched growing up that I was like, I get it.
If you haven't seen it, it's not like you're going to sit down.
What are you going to sit down on a Sunday afternoon and watch Braveheart?
I'm going to watch Braveheart?
That's weird.
It's just Lord of the Rings with Scottish people, right?
They're Scottish.
It's not.
There's no hobbit?
That would be very weird for you to do.
Are hobbits real?
Depends on who you ask.
Okay.
I used to, when I was younger, I'm not going to say this actually.
Okay.
When I was younger, I would imagine all of the different races.
Kind of this was corresponding to height.
I was like, wow, what if dwarves were real?
What?
You know, because there's like, I would be like, well, I would think of tall people like elves and short people like dwarves.
I was probably eight years old and I thought this kind of stuff.
But that isn't true.
Hello, everyone.
I'm Liz.
My name.
Well, they call me Bryce.
The Yorkshire Pudding.
And of course, we have my beautiful blood pudding eel pie right here, producer Young Chompsy.
And the podcast is called Archetypes by Spotify with Megan Markle and Prince Harry.
Isn't Prince Harry supposed to be doing that podcast?
I think they just did.
Didn't they just do a like big thing's coming?
We've got a teaser.
And then they just didn't put any up.
So you have not looked, but it was like a huge fucking deal with Spotify.
$20 million.
Million.
Wow, it feels almost as big as ours.
Yeah, I know.
Our Spotify deal is crazy.
Spoiler alert.
Oh, my God.
I should have introduced myself as the heir and you as the spa.
The spare.
Yeah.
Well, we do have a bit of a spare tire growing here because I have done nothing but Prince Harry.
You've done nothing but Prince Harry.
Little behind the scenes thing here at Truinon.
I was sick.
You were.
And you, I still am a little sick, but you came to me on my sick bed.
Victorian fainting couch.
Exactly.
I was just there.
That was partly what inspired this episode.
I was wearing my dressing gown, of course.
Of course.
My stocking cap.
Absolutely.
My pointy toad, but also.
And you had your little handkerchief next to you with the blood on it.