[PREVIEW] Episode 263: Twitter Tranche dissects the speaker’s visceral hatred for Babylon, a film they dismiss as the worst ever—seen out of desperation after a Miami New Year’s Eve party at Telemundo Studios. The opening 30 minutes, a cocaine-soaked 1920s orgy, triggered panic attacks, with the speaker fantasizing about shielding strangers from its chaos. Citing Kenneth Anger’s Hollywood Babylon as inspiration, they mock Brad Pitt’s alleged facial rejuvenation and declare the film so revulsive it cured their movie aversion—except for rare exceptions—while comparing their reaction to a drug-fueled nightmare. [Automatically generated summary]
I was going to say, Bris, did you see the movie Babylon?
You think I forgot that I wanted to talk about this.
Yeah.
Now, something that we've gotten feedback from listeners on is that my not liking movies is sort of seen as, like, weird, right?
People think it's, like— I think it's funny that you don't like movies, just, like, as a thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't.
Not like a certain type of movie.
There's some movies that I really don't like when this happens.
Like, no, just movies as a medium.
Don't really like movies as a medium.
And then there's some movies I do like, right?
Yeah.
But as always, exception proves the rule.
Okay.
Babylon was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life.
Okay.
Let's pause here for a second.
Okay.
One.
I have absolutely zero idea what the movie is about other than like Margo Robbie, Warm Light.
Oh, yeah.
Brad Pitt, who I assume his face has been CGI'd to be younger in the movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's had probably, I'm going to go ahead and say one too many face slips over the years or in the past year, depending on how you look at it.
What does that mean?
Go on.
Depending on how you look at his face.
Okay, okay.
I'm saying, I think that maybe he's had some corrective work done.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
And some flouncy dresses.
I have no, oh, there's a couple influencers in it, I know, because of Instagram posting that I see.
Other than that, I have absolutely zero idea what this movie is about.
The circus?
First day of the year, right?
I'm tired.
You know, I'm weary.
I want to rejuvenate myself.
Why are you so sleepy?
Well, due to my attendance at the Miley Cyrus New Year's Eve party at the Telemundo Studios.
But I was a sleepy guy.
Wait, it was at Telemundo?
It was at Telemundo Studios on the very outskirts of Miami.
I love that.
And I was sleepy.
And, you know, a couple of my friends and I decided we go see a movie.
Only movie playing was Babylon.
The only movie that I hadn't seen because I had seen Avatar, which was not a movie, it was an experience.
But I go in.
I knew nothing about this film.
I hadn't seen any.
I knew that people didn't like it, but people like movies and I don't like them.
It just come out.
Exactly.
Well, listen.
Okay.
So I go in there.
Yes.
I took some notes.
Did you play that song, Babylon?
No, the Roxy Music song?
Yeah.
No.
Avalon.
This is the Roxy Music song.
Yeah, no.
Babylon.
David Gray.
Babylon.
Babylon starts off with a 30-minute cocaine and orgy, like 1920s Hollywood party.
And it was at that point I realized that the movie, if not based upon the Kenneth Anger book, Hollywood Babylon, was sort of an homage to Hollywood Babylon.
Now, Hollywood Babylon, great, great book.
Read it when I was very young.
Met Kenneth Anger, having not seen any of his films, but because he had a lot of people.
I remember you telling me that.
I think that's so crazy.
Well, we went to a movie of his, but we talked to him after.
Anyways, my notes here say, I want to kill myself.
People Leaving Before The End00:01:24
I wish that I was James Holmes, but protecting the audience against the movie.
So I had these visions during the film that I was standing up there and sort of like pressing these people back, like these poor moviegoers behind me.
Like a passenger seat kind of movie.
Exactly.
Like, no, no.
No.
You're the mom and you're in the, you know, in the Subaru.
Exactly.
Don't put your arms out.
Well, I'm kind of always.
Stay back.
Keep your seat fell down.
Not around their chest, but around their eyes.
Sure.
So they can't see.
Meanwhile, of course.
The reverse clockwork warrant.
Yes.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I will say this.
This movie was one of the, every single thing about it sucked dick.
I don't know how to talk about movies.
I don't know like the film criticism.
All I know is that I had the worst three hours of my fucking life in that movie theater.
And by the end, by the end of the third hour, there were people getting up and leaving before the movie finished.
Multiple groups of people getting up and leaving.
It was a love letter to movies that made me never want to see a movie again.
I have no idea what the plot was.
I have no idea what the character's motivations or anything were.
All I know is that if I was still doing cocaine, I would never touch a fucking speck of the stuff again.
I will never participate in any kind of orgy, let alone one in some kind of crazy manse.