Host Dave Chappelle—sniffling through a cold—mocked society’s COVID-era empathy while joking about coughing at salad bars, now facing judgment for public mucus displays. He dismissed Liz’s Mucinex advice, debating the appeal of the animated "grossy" slime-ball character before abruptly pivoting to Ben Tarnoff’s interview, framing health complaints as a pretext for deeper conversation. [Automatically generated summary]
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
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Coughing in Public
00:01:34
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| This will be the final episode of True Non. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| No, it won't. | |
| I've got the sniffles. | |
| Ending the show because you have a cold. | |
| It's not ending the show. | |
| Well, the show will end, I hope, because my life is going to be over. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| No, I've got a terminal case of the sniffles. | |
| And nobody feels bad for me because it's not COVID, and you have to have COVID in order to get any sympathy these days. | |
| You know, I gotta say, I think that the sympathy for COVID is over. | |
| We're done. | |
| We don't have sympathy for COVID. | |
| Now it's kind of your own fault. | |
| Well, I don't know about that, but it's more just like, yeah, okay, because we've all had it. | |
| So it's sort of like, yeah, been there, buddy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Sucks. | |
| Best of luck. | |
| My thing too now is one of my greatest passions prior to the scam damn is I loved coughing in public. | |
| Saddling up saddling up to a salad bar and just fucking hacking all over that motherfucker. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Go under the sneeze guard. | |
| I'm just in the lettuce, just spitting on the olives. | |
| Now it's like every time I've been, the past few days, because I have been sick, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| We were supposed to record this when, Liz, Friday. | |
| Yeah, and we did not because I had a fever. | |
| You did the sniffles. | |
| It was, that was, that was hard sniffles. | |
| I had sniffles and I was talking like this. | |
| But now it's like I go out in public and I'm like, fuck, everyone's judging me for coughing and not wearing a mask. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, you shouldn't do that. | |
|
Sick Sniffles Talk
00:03:19
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| It's gross. | |
| It's the new scarlet letter. | |
| No, just don't cough from people. | |
| Just be normal. | |
| I'm coughing people. | |
| I'm coughing on my nipple by unbuttoning half my shirt and putting my mouth in there. | |
| Just don't be grossy. | |
| Here we are again. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| Let me start it. | |
| Hello, everyone. | |
| Hello. | |
| Hi, Liz. | |
| Hello. | |
| I'm Liz. | |
| By the time you're listening to this, I was Bray Speldon. | |
| I was a man who felt and thought and loved. | |
| And of course, we're joined by producer Young Chomsky. | |
| And this is Shrouanon. | |
| Hello, everyone. | |
| Hello. | |
| You know, I don't want to snot all over the mic, Liz. | |
| Well, yeah, I think you already have. | |
| We've been doing this for about an hour. | |
| Yes. | |
| And a half. | |
| That's not true. | |
| Not an hour and a half. | |
| Oh, no, you're right. | |
| No, it's been an hour and a half. | |
| You know, we could do a long intro here where I complained and try to make people feel sorry for me. | |
| Don't feel sorry for him. | |
| Don't ever feel sorry for him. | |
| He's fine. | |
| You're fine. | |
| Oh, you're a little sick. | |
| Oh, no, you got a cold. | |
| Oh, you got to take Mucinex. | |
| Oh, you're fine. | |
| Well, no, I get to take Mucinex. | |
| I love it. | |
| It's good. | |
| I drink Mucinex even when I'm not sick. | |
| I don't like Mucinex because the name is grossy. | |
| It's grossy. | |
| And we already established during the cold open, don't be grossy. | |
| Mucinex, grossy name. | |
| Also, in the commercials, it has the little grossy guy. | |
| Yeah, that guy's cool. | |
| No, he's grossy. | |
| That guy's not grossy. | |
| First of all, you like guys like that. | |
| No, I don't like guys like the Mucinex. | |
| Are you joking? | |
| The slime ball is like a little bit of a broken slime ball. | |
| How long have I known you? | |
| How long have I known you? | |
| First of all, he's done a slime ball. | |
| He's a ball of mucus. | |
| And second of all, you could do a lot. | |
| Oh, I'm sorry. | |
| When you blow your nose, you're like, oh, I've got so much slime coming out of me. | |
| No, you call it what it is, mucus. | |
| It's the scientific name for it. | |
| Second of all, all first of all, I know all women basically want to fuck a variation of Mucinex mucus. | |
| Second of all, I've known you for a long time, right? | |
| And I know a lot of the people that we both know. | |
| Mucinex. | |
| I think this is wrong, but we should get into what the episode is really about, which is an interview with our old friend Ben Tarnoff. | |
| Let's get into it. | |
| Hello. | |