"They Fck Doggies, Don’t They?" spirals into a surreal, self-aware rant: a Jewish couple adopting a Nazi ex-POW while hypersexualized attack dogs (100–155 lbs) allegedly "cuck" women in mauling deaths, tied to Kamala Harris, Aryan Brotherhood rumors, and a fictional Mexican cartel-dog-fighting ring. Defendants Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel (dubbed "Santa Claus") get tangled with pedophilia laws and Nazi accents before pivoting to fabricated prison guard John Cox and a prank-podcast confession—all while apologizing mid-sentence for the chaos. The episode’s absurdist punchline? A legally adopted son named Paul in their "triad," ending with a disclaimer about offensive fabrications. [Automatically generated summary]
Previously, on Truanon, we are telling the story of a very famous dog mauling.
The story of a Jewish couple, the prison Nazi that they adopted and loved, a pair of energetic doggies, one of whom might have had sex with a white woman.
So two rather large dogs mauled to death the woman.
My body is shocked and I zizzle and zazzle with electricity.
Not just the Aryan Brotherhood, but possible dog sex, Kamala Harris, Kimberly Guilfoyle.
Possible possession of another person for sexual exploits.
A Mexican cartel and dog fighting ring.
Condoms are just a totally fake thing that people go to trick themselves into.
Yeah, that's hot.
Even the flavored ones.
No one likes them.
Just don't use a condom.
The defendants in the case, Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel.
I say Noel because he's sort of got a Santa Claus type appearance to him.
Don't do that.
You know how when you're at work and you're like, I should talk to every woman here and see if they'll go out with me?
None of this is true.
This story is filled with people who meet each other and then like immediately move in.
It happens.
I've done it.
The thing is, life's a gamble, but it's also impossible to lose.
Wait, she wore a wig?
Yes.
To imitate an Aryan.
All right, I took this nude.
Oh, yeah.
Will you stop sending those to me?
That's a weird thing to do.
Power imbalances in age differences and relationships.
You are legally a pedophile.
You know what, though?
A man ahead of his time.
I'm just like, why do you want to be Jewish?
Every day it hangs over me like a black cloud that rains only on me.
I mean, that's basically what it is.
I hate when they say boutique law firm.
And I love being Jewish.
That seems very stupid.
They meet a prison guard named John Cox, which is another word for penis.
Yeah, we were trying to fuck around and find out.
Oh, wow.
That seems bad.
All right.
Well, that's not what Adolf Hitler sounded like.
I did cocaine with Gavin Newsome.
I've done push-up contests with O.J. Simpson.
Okay, well, only one of those things is true.
So Aryan Brotherhood, what is that?
That's like a Mexican thing?
Because here's the thing about Mexicans.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I got a swasika tattoo.
Wait, why is that a Nazi accent?
So a lot of people don't know that the asshole of the body, which is like the mouth but low.
Yeah, I think that works.
Sometimes girlfriends will try to put some up there and you gotta be like, whoa, Berger.
Oh my god.
He could essentially use the asshole as an extra pocket.
She starts reading a lot of dog fancy.
That's the number one magazine in America.
Always a red flag.
You know how girls love bad boys?
Maybe I could start selling attack dogs to the Mexican mafia.
Pretty good idea.
I'm not into that.
White women alert.
The guy is drop dead gorgeous.
Third eye open, baby.
She's got like a fucking pack of dogs.
And they're big dogs.
Yeah, they're huge and they're hungry and they're horny.
Yeah, they're really big.
They usually weigh about 100 to 150 pounds.
Like this is a lot of dogs.
My brain is like, let's say highly regarded.
Dogowar.com.
Like dog of war.
He's a pillar of the business community.
Baby, what does you do with this?
This dog's five feet?
This is a fucking huge dog.
Don't put this in, but this dog's two inches taller than me.
Oh my god.
Consider me a coomer, but definitely cut that part.
This is not a funny story.
This is like a horrible tragedy.
Sorry, my bad.
Can you cut that?
I'm so sorry if I'm ruining the episode.
Wait, am I the only one whose heart just constantly tells them to have gay sex?
Things get very weird.
These are bad dogs.
Insanely horny and sexual.
That's so fucking weird.
Boy, was that dog hunt?
Oh my God.
So like they were busting nuts.
What?
You know how people have sex?
Is he getting cucked by the dog?
Okay, yeah, they're fucking the dogs.
Wait, seriously?
Paul was not only their client.
He was not only the third in their self-described triad.
He was legally their son.
Why We Left Autozone00:01:24
That's very cool.
I'm gay.
You know what?
Keep that in.
I'm not ashamed.
YOU KILLED NAOMI!
I was thinking, like, what if I did it like autozone style, but then, like, so anticlimactic.
Welcome.
It's true and that's a premature ejaculation of intros.
That's my style, baby.
They call me, they call me Belden.
This is my wife.
My wife.
My wife.
Oh, Liz.
Say your name.
Yeah, Liz.
And this is my producer, Young Chomsky.
And the podcast is called Truanon.
It's sort of like a prank podcast where we're like, what if we made up a bunch of stuff about like the CIA or whatever and got a bunch of gullible people to believe it?