True Anon Truth Feed - [PREVIEW] Episode 110: They F*ck Doggies, Don't They? Pt. 2
Aired: 2020-10-23
Duration: 04:58


=== Famous Dog Mauling (03:34) ===

[00:00:00]  Previously, on Truanon, we are telling the story of a very famous dog mauling.
[00:00:05]  The story of a Jewish couple, the prison Nazi that they adopted and loved, a pair of energetic doggies, one of whom might have had sex with a white woman.
[00:00:13]  So two rather large dogs mauled to death the woman.
[00:00:16]  My body is shocked and I zizzle and zazzle with electricity.
[00:00:21]  Not just the Aryan Brotherhood, but possible dog sex, Kamala Harris, Kimberly Guilfoyle.
[00:00:27]  Possible possession of another person for sexual exploits.
[00:00:31]  A Mexican cartel and dog fighting ring.
[00:00:34]  Condoms are just a totally fake thing that people go to trick themselves into.
[00:00:38]  Yeah, that's hot.
[00:00:39]  Even the flavored ones.
[00:00:40]  No one likes them.
[00:00:41]  Just don't use a condom.
[00:00:42]  The defendants in the case, Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel.
[00:00:46]  I say Noel because he's sort of got a Santa Claus type appearance to him.
[00:00:50]  Don't do that.
[00:00:51]  You know how when you're at work and you're like, I should talk to every woman here and see if they'll go out with me?
[00:00:56]  None of this is true.
[00:00:56]  This story is filled with people who meet each other and then like immediately move in.
[00:01:00]  It happens.
[00:01:01]  I've done it.
[00:01:01]  The thing is, life's a gamble, but it's also impossible to lose.
[00:01:04]  Wait, she wore a wig?
[00:01:06]  Yes.
[00:01:06]  To imitate an Aryan.
[00:01:07]  All right, I took this nude.
[00:01:08]  Oh, yeah.
[00:01:09]  Will you stop sending those to me?
[00:01:11]  That's a weird thing to do.
[00:01:12]  Power imbalances in age differences and relationships.
[00:01:15]  You are legally a pedophile.
[00:01:18]  You know what, though?
[00:01:19]  A man ahead of his time.
[00:01:20]  I'm just like, why do you want to be Jewish?
[00:01:22]  Every day it hangs over me like a black cloud that rains only on me.
[00:01:26]  I mean, that's basically what it is.
[00:01:27]  I hate when they say boutique law firm.
[00:01:29]  And I love being Jewish.
[00:01:30]  That seems very stupid.
[00:01:31]  They meet a prison guard named John Cox, which is another word for penis.
[00:01:36]  Yeah, we were trying to fuck around and find out.
[00:01:38]  Oh, wow.
[00:01:38]  That seems bad.
[00:01:39]  All right.
[00:01:39]  Well, that's not what Adolf Hitler sounded like.
[00:01:42]  I did cocaine with Gavin Newsome.
[00:01:44]  I've done push-up contests with O.J. Simpson.
[00:01:47]  Okay, well, only one of those things is true.
[00:01:49]  So Aryan Brotherhood, what is that?
[00:01:50]  That's like a Mexican thing?
[00:01:51]  Because here's the thing about Mexicans.
[00:01:53]  Oh, my God.
[00:01:54]  Yeah.
[00:01:54]  Well, I mean, I got a swasika tattoo.
[00:01:56]  Wait, why is that a Nazi accent?
[00:01:58]  So a lot of people don't know that the asshole of the body, which is like the mouth but low.
[00:02:04]  Yeah, I think that works.
[00:02:04]  Sometimes girlfriends will try to put some up there and you gotta be like, whoa, Berger.
[00:02:09]  Oh my god.
[00:02:10]  He could essentially use the asshole as an extra pocket.
[00:02:13]  She starts reading a lot of dog fancy.
[00:02:15]  That's the number one magazine in America.
[00:02:17]  Always a red flag.
[00:02:18]  You know how girls love bad boys?
[00:02:20]  Maybe I could start selling attack dogs to the Mexican mafia.
[00:02:25]  Pretty good idea.
[00:02:26]  I'm not into that.
[00:02:26]  White women alert.
[00:02:27]  The guy is drop dead gorgeous.
[00:02:30]  Third eye open, baby.
[00:02:31]  She's got like a fucking pack of dogs.
[00:02:33]  And they're big dogs.
[00:02:34]  Yeah, they're huge and they're hungry and they're horny.
[00:02:36]  Yeah, they're really big.
[00:02:37]  They usually weigh about 100 to 150 pounds.
[00:02:40]  Like this is a lot of dogs.
[00:02:41]  My brain is like, let's say highly regarded.
[00:02:44]  Dogowar.com.
[00:02:46]  Like dog of war.
[00:02:47]  He's a pillar of the business community.
[00:02:49]  Baby, what does you do with this?
[00:02:51]  This dog's five feet?
[00:02:53]  This is a fucking huge dog.
[00:02:54]  Don't put this in, but this dog's two inches taller than me.
[00:02:57]  Oh my god.
[00:02:57]  Consider me a coomer, but definitely cut that part.
[00:03:00]  This is not a funny story.
[00:03:01]  This is like a horrible tragedy.
[00:03:03]  Sorry, my bad.
[00:03:03]  Can you cut that?
[00:03:04]  I'm so sorry if I'm ruining the episode.
[00:03:06]  Wait, am I the only one whose heart just constantly tells them to have gay sex?
[00:03:10]  Things get very weird.
[00:03:12]  These are bad dogs.
[00:03:14]  Insanely horny and sexual.
[00:03:17]  That's so fucking weird.
[00:03:18]  Boy, was that dog hunt?
[00:03:20]  Oh my God.
[00:03:20]  So like they were busting nuts.
[00:03:22]  What?
[00:03:22]  You know how people have sex?
[00:03:24]  Is he getting cucked by the dog?
[00:03:25]  Okay, yeah, they're fucking the dogs.
[00:03:27]  Wait, seriously?
[00:03:27]  Paul was not only their client.
[00:03:29]  He was not only the third in their self-described triad.
[00:03:32]  He was legally their son.

=== Why We Left Autozone (01:24) ===

[00:03:34]  That's very cool.
[00:03:36]  I'm gay.
[00:03:37]  You know what?
[00:03:37]  Keep that in.
[00:03:38]  I'm not ashamed.
[00:03:42]  YOU KILLED NAOMI!
[00:04:11]  I was thinking, like, what if I did it like autozone style, but then, like, so anticlimactic.
[00:04:18]  Welcome.
[00:04:19]  It's true and that's a premature ejaculation of intros.
[00:04:24]  That's my style, baby.
[00:04:26]  They call me, they call me Belden.
[00:04:30]  This is my wife.
[00:04:32]  My wife.
[00:04:34]  My wife.
[00:04:36]  Oh, Liz.
[00:04:36]  Say your name.
[00:04:37]  Yeah, Liz.
[00:04:38]  And this is my producer, Young Chomsky.
[00:04:43]  And the podcast is called Truanon.
[00:04:46]  It's sort of like a prank podcast where we're like, what if we made up a bunch of stuff about like the CIA or whatever and got a bunch of gullible people to believe it?
[00:04:54]  Yeah.
[00:04:55]  Remember Crank Yankers?
[00:04:57]  I loved Crank Yankers.