Ricky Rectel’s chaotic Insert Hour episode kicks off with anime figurine jokes and hazel-eyed tangents, mocking a "fake kiss" before pivoting to promote March 18th’s Brooklyn show ($15) and March 22nd’s Philly gig ($15), where he jokingly teases Fishtown’s "pussy" reputation—only for Liz’s text to roast him mid-rant, ending with a bizarre "coronavirus" quip. [Automatically generated summary]
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
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Why Eyes Turn Green
00:01:25
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| Big caucus energy, BCE. | |
| A big cock in us energy. | |
| We are having sex with the same anime figurine. | |
| What? | |
| Yeah, I shoved it. | |
| That's why I'm bleeding. | |
| Um. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Okay. | |
| Shut it down. | |
| This is, my name is Ricky Rectel, and you are here in Insert Hour. | |
| Welcome to my ass nightmare. | |
| You're not giving me any help. | |
| I don't like, because I don't like any of it. | |
| You know, I don't like any of it. | |
| Here's the thing. | |
| Here's the thing, Liz, that you never seem to understand. | |
| If you don't like what I'm saying, you can interrupt me and I'll be too cowed to interrupt back. | |
| You're always just looking at me with those piercing multicolored eyes, a lot of David Bowie. | |
| I don't have that, but thank you for saying that. | |
| One's blue and one's green. | |
| That's not true. | |
| Did you know that my eyes turn green when I hang out with my dad? | |
| What? | |
| Yeah, because he has green eyes and I have hazel eyes and mine like get more green when I hang out with my dad. | |
| I'm sorry, listeners. | |
| First of all. | |
| They do. | |
| This is not going to engender confidence in our medical reporting. | |
| But this is another, because people are always like, women believe in magic, tarot cards, astrology. | |
| Sure. | |
| That is not the only sorcery that the female race adheres to. | |
| Your eyes change colors. | |
| Okay. | |
| I think they get more green when I'm hanging out with my dad. | |
| I think. | |
| Which I think is a very sweet story. | |
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Eyes That Turn Green
00:03:30
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| I'll be honest with you. | |
| I don't even know what hazel is. | |
| Hazel is like green, brown-green. | |
| Brown-green. | |
| Green-brown. | |
| It's like a mixture. | |
| Okay, like green anarchism and fascism. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| Welcome, welcome. | |
| Hey, Patreon. | |
| Hello. | |
| I was talking to the beautiful women that just entered the door. | |
| Vanessa and Giselle. | |
| Welcome to, this is my apartment, not Young Chompsie's apartment, and And thank you. | |
| Oh, that was such a kind but tonguey kiss. | |
| Briefs just faked a kiss again. | |
| I know. | |
| It's because that's how you kiss people where I'm from on the cheeks. | |
| It's a fake kiss. | |
| There are girls here. | |
| Do not fucking do this to me. | |
| Do not fucking do it. | |
| I will fucking off myself. | |
| Shall we get this show on the road? | |
| Yeah, let's take this on the road. | |
| Let's go to Des Moines. | |
| No, actually, speaking of the road, we're going on the road. | |
| Are we denouncing that right now? | |
| We are. | |
| Let's tell it to Patreon first. | |
| Why not? | |
| Yes. | |
| Hello. | |
| We are, we've got, we're so excited. | |
| We're on two shows. | |
| One in Brooklyn, New York, the home of podcasting. | |
| Yep. | |
| We're going into the belly of the beast. | |
| We will be there at the Bell House on March 18th, 7.30 p.m. | |
| Tickets are $15 available on the internet where all tickets are sold. | |
| Yep. | |
| But find that link somewhere on the Patreon page on our Twitter. | |
| Second show. | |
| Second show, Philadelphia. | |
| We are playing Within the Liberty Bell. | |
| Yes. | |
| Also known as Johnny Brenda's in Fishtown. | |
| What? | |
| Which is also $15. | |
| 8 p.m. show. | |
| Wait, Fishtown? | |
| Yeah, that's the neighborhood. | |
| Young Chelsea, can I get a, is this true? | |
| Yeah. | |
| They call them the River Wards. | |
| What the fuck is wrong with... | |
| What? | |
| Don't Fishtown? | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Okay. | |
| So again, listeners, two shows. | |
| We're so excited. | |
| East Coast. | |
| Hey, my girlfriend lives in Fishtown. | |
| I'm going over to get some pussy. | |
| Do you see how fucked up that sentence sounds? | |
| Let me just get through this bit, okay? | |
| Okay, get through the bit. | |
| Okay, saying it again. | |
| I'm texting you this. | |
| Two shows. | |
| Brooklyn, Philly, Brooklyn. | |
| The Bell House, March 18th. | |
| It's a Wednesday, 7.30 p.m. | |
| And Philadelphia, Johnny Brenda's, Sunday, March 22nd at 8 p.m. | |
| It's like saying the meat packing district. | |
| That sounds cooler because it sounds like an 80s gay thing. | |
| Liz, check your text. | |
| Real quick. | |
| Oh, my phone's over there. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Okay, I will read your, well, I look at your text all the time anyways. | |
| This is what I sent you. | |
| It says, eating fat pussy in Fishtown. | |
| Can you see how absurd this sentence sounds? | |
| Only because it's coming from you. | |
| Yeah, well, because I don't do that. | |
| That was my point. | |
| That's how you get coronavirus. | |
| Oh, boy. | |
| That's not true. | |